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People you see at every club

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The group of 4-6 BBWs who are loud and hilarious and obviously having great fun. All the blokes are terrified of approaching them.

The skinny middle aged bloke with an air of serene confidence and an enormous cock, these two things probably being connected.

The very attractive couple who aren’t speaking to each other because she really doesn’t want to be there any more but he’s desperate to stay.

Any other archetypes?

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By *EEBEE123Man
over a year ago

Wirral

The wanking dead single guys, moving room to room, cock in hand, the jingle of their locker keys around their moving wrist.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

The outgoing single lady who's the Queen of the Smoking Area!

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

This may be more kink clubs than swinging clubs, but... that well-dressed conventionally attractive couple at the bar. He's in a three-piece suit. She's in an expensive lingerie set and killer heels. He probably has a beard. She might be wearing one of those long lace coat things.

Everyone knows them, everyone loves them... but they never actually *do* anything. It's the end of the event, you're naked and soaked and in sweat and potentially other things, and there they are – still at the bar and as pristine and perfect as the moment they emerged from the changing rooms.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

The ‘regulars’. Six to eight of them, chatting and drinking happily like it’s a night out in their local boozer and not a swingers club at all. They do go upstairs and have sex, you know they do, but you’ve never actually seen it happen.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley


"The wanking dead single guys, moving room to room, cock in hand, the jingle of their locker keys around their moving wrist."

I'm trying to start a campaign to call them something different.

The wanking lurkers, followers, hopefuls, extras (as in films rather than joining in)... Loads of possible names but I've yet to see any dead.

Yes, I do realise the reference to 'walking dead' and can't deny it quotes well.

It does some good in that it reminds me not to be one of them and concentrate, instead, on being on one of the 'remember not to wank, elderly'.

You describe the locker keys perfectly.

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

The married older lady …. Late 60s who is dropped off by her husband and picked up by him later . Sits at the bar having a drink in her matching lingerie and killer boots … spots a younger male and a conversation takes place.Retire upstairs for some bodily contact shes back at the bar half an hour later not a hair out of place or a drop of sweat on her brow

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By *imandLynn98Couple
over a year ago

Palm Coast

The people that play pool all night

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

That couple who hide in the corner all night and don't speak to anyone, then leave a club review saying it's cliquey have a sexy weekend everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The people who judge others and have their whole life/relationships worked out without ever speaking to said people.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

the creeper couple of guy, that is overly touchy feely when meeting you ...

The wanking dead yes they are a scourge .. but very funny to watch in motion walking around ..

The overloud woman that cant ever shut her mouth laughing at everyone someone is saying ..

The really hairy older couple always sat at a table looking like extras from smokey and the bandit but are very funny to talk with.

The woman that believes they are the local queen / messiah of the place and get bent out of shape when someone else gets a few guys attention near them .. thats always hilarious to watch them make a bellend out of themselves . even more so when they are d*unk .

I people watch alot at places , I guess I am probably more like one of the earlier posts said about a couple at bar in immaculate outfits never seem to be moving much / or around but just there as they came in

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"The woman that believes they are the local queen / messiah of the place and get bent out of shape when someone else gets a few guys attention near them .. thats always hilarious to watch them make a bellend out of themselves . even more so when they are d*unk .

"

Came to say exactly this!

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester


"The woman that believes they are the local queen / messiah of the place and get bent out of shape when someone else gets a few guys attention near them .. thats always hilarious to watch them make a bellend out of themselves . even more so when they are d*unk .

Came to say exactly this!"

ha you know the type exactly right honestly I have been to probably over 60 clubs in uk/eu/USA and this stereotype is in every single one without fail every single time . my friends refer to them as the local club hand grenades

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The TV in a dodgy wig who looks like Leslie off Benidorm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The wanking dead single guys, moving room to room, cock in hand, the jingle of their locker keys around their moving wrist.

I'm trying to start a campaign to call them something different.

The wanking lurkers, followers, hopefuls, extras (as in films rather than joining in)... Loads of possible names but I've yet to see any dead.

Yes, I do realise the reference to 'walking dead' and can't deny it quotes well.

It does some good in that it reminds me not to be one of them and concentrate, instead, on being on one of the 'remember not to wank, elderly'.

You describe the locker keys perfectly."

The dead part also refers to the fact they don't speak at all and just grunt like the walkers from walking dead.

Also many have a glazed look to their eyes.

So for us it really is the perfect name for them.

KJ

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

The guy that follows you about all night like a puppy and says "let me know when your ready for me

The noisy group sitting in a corner that never ventures to the play rooms.

The person that asks have you been here before even although they know you have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha. All of these are so true. They really made me giggle. I wonder how people see me? (Ms swirlybliss)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Somebody one e termed the phrase “shirtcocker” which amused us.

The older guy wandering around in a shirt but no pants or trousers.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

The woman (not necessarily regular) who always has to make sure everyone knows how great a time she's having by moaning or screaming so loud (in a fake, porn-like way) that you can hear her at the other end of the club.

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west


"The married older lady …. Late 60s who is dropped off by her husband and picked up by him later . Sits at the bar having a drink in her matching lingerie and killer boots … spots a younger male and a conversation takes place.Retire upstairs for some bodily contact shes back at the bar half an hour later not a hair out of place or a drop of sweat on her brow

"

And the younger Male reappears towards the end of the evening, looking completely ruined and orders a large drink at the bar, which he drinks with both shaking hands wrapped around the glass...

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Hilarious as these stereotypes are, I love all of these people and I’m glad they’re all in the clubs. We’re all weirdos together, one way or another.

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire


"The married older lady …. Late 60s who is dropped off by her husband and picked up by him later . Sits at the bar having a drink in her matching lingerie and killer boots … spots a younger male and a conversation takes place.Retire upstairs for some bodily contact shes back at the bar half an hour later not a hair out of place or a drop of sweat on her brow

And the younger Male reappears towards the end of the evening, looking completely ruined and orders a large drink at the bar, which he drinks with both shaking hands wrapped around the glass..."

Ha ha ha ….. so true

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

The couples who turn their nose up at been approached

Couples who sit in corner with friends all night

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"

The older guy wandering around in a shirt but no pants or trousers. "

We both burst out laughing when we read this it's so true lol.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester


"The TV in a dodgy wig who looks like Leslie off Benidorm."

The amount of TVs I have helped their wig problem in clubs is vast. Just by pulling their wig up to hairline and off centre part (comb out a parting abit ) . It’s like they find a pot of gold after

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

The stunningly gorgeous girl who’s oblivious to all the staring and all the jaws dropping as she walks around chatting and being friendly. She starts to notice the attention later in the night when there’s an actual conga line of wanking dead following her from room to room.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Somebody one e termed the phrase “shirtcocker” which amused us.

The older guy wandering around in a shirt but no pants or trousers. "

Pooh Bare.

All shirt and no trousers.

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

The "air ambulances"....guys constantly circling the club poking their heads into every room, looking for a place to land.

(Bry)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Forgot about lip licker that you catch in corner of eye. Always licking his bottle / glass rim while raising eyebrows at you

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford


"Forgot about lip licker that you catch in corner of eye. Always licking his bottle / glass rim while raising eyebrows at you "

They never raise their eyebrows at me

(Bry)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester


"Forgot about lip licker that you catch in corner of eye. Always licking his bottle / glass rim while raising eyebrows at you

They never raise their eyebrows at me

(Bry)"

I like to pick up an empty glass and hold it to my eye as a telescope and point at them. And mouth I see you in my best Mac from predator voice

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

[Removed by poster at 16/12/22 19:29:16]

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Good to hear that some clubs are that well populated!

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire


"The wanking dead single guys, moving room to room, cock in hand, the jingle of their locker keys around their moving wrist.

I'm trying to start a campaign to call them something different.

The wanking lurkers, followers, hopefuls, extras (as in films rather than joining in)... Loads of possible names but I've yet to see any dead.

Yes, I do realise the reference to 'walking dead' and can't deny it quotes well.

It does some good in that it reminds me not to be one of them and concentrate, instead, on being on one of the 'remember not to wank, elderly'.

You describe the locker keys perfectly."

They're NPCs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Somebody one e termed the phrase “shirtcocker” which amused us.

The older guy wandering around in a shirt but no pants or trousers. "

Because topless parties are too mainstream

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

I miss all these.

But then I'm usually a wallflower in the corner

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By *togMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

The dirty pleaders, guys that go up to attractive women and give them a sex proposition, get turned down then spend the next 10 minutes saying it would have been great and trying to get the women to change their mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg these are hilarious to read! So true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The noisey almost on the edge of being too d*unk guy who wherever you go is always there

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

The guys that leave their used condoms on the floor

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London


"They're NPCs."

I almost snorted my daiquiri reading that. Brilliant.

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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago

Coventry


"The group of 4-6 BBWs who are loud and hilarious and obviously having great fun. All the blokes are terrified of approaching them.

The skinny middle aged bloke with an air of serene confidence and an enormous cock, these two things probably being connected.

The very attractive couple who aren’t speaking to each other because she really doesn’t want to be there any more but he’s desperate to stay.

Any other archetypes?"

I think there are probably stereotypes in every club so to speak. Personal observations regular people who wait to check out the new guys. The couples that look like the male has got a companion or younger female wirh no conversation exchanged, the couples that are over confident and sometimes maybe pushy with younger people that don't wish to be that way. Those who are welcoming and friendly to always see you with a smile who are fantastic sociable wise. And those that just look to be out with their mates or with a crowd. People watching is a fantastic thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The couples standing around grinning like a Cheshire cat

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

the male half of couples who think because hes part of a couple hes the bees knees and you should say yes

the male half of a couple who pushes his luck because he thinks hes safe to do so because hes part of a couple

d*unk women

couples who go week in week out who think they own the club and they tell you the rules.

the guy that goes every week who is a silent/shy person who just gawps all night

the ones who like to let the whole club know they are cumming whiles sounding like a elephants fart ie fake as fuck

oh i could right abook on this the main gripe is male halfs of couples being the biggest pain ( in fact few but always ruins the night)

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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago

Coventry


"the male half of couples who think because hes part of a couple hes the bees knees and you should say yes

the male half of a couple who pushes his luck because he thinks hes safe to do so because hes part of a couple

d*unk women

couples who go week in week out who think they own the club and they tell you the rules.

the guy that goes every week who is a silent/shy person who just gawps all night

the ones who like to let the whole club know they are cumming whiles sounding like a elephants fart ie fake as fuck

oh i could right abook on this the main gripe is male halfs of couples being the biggest pain ( in fact few but always ruins the night)

"

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

The tic toc swinger wannabes

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Forgot to add the person that is always in the toilet for some reason . I mean like every time you go for a piss they are always there again and dont appear to have moved from the slumped position

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

The guy who follows you around the club at a distance and stares daggers at you all night, because you turned him down but had the audacity to play with another.

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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago

Coventry


"The guy who follows you around the club at a distance and stares daggers at you all night, because you turned him down but had the audacity to play with another."

Love this thread...sooooo funny

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By *ady CurvaceousWoman
over a year ago

Kent

For me personally it's the "next day brigade". I've seen guys watching me walk around a club, do a double take when all 6ft 3 of me built like a tank walks past, seen them staring at me, yet hardly any of them approaches me. However, the next day, my inbox on here fills with messages from guys who saw me, and gave various reasons as to why they didn't speak to me, such as "so tall, didn't think you'd like shorter men", "wary", "punching above my weight", etc. To be fair, not being spoken to all night because guys are intimidated by me, really is shit. So not sure what they expect when they ask me to meet when they message me the next day, especially if I travelled a fair distance to be at that club do am nowhere near them?

Also, the non bisexual women "club snogging", it happens in normal clubs as well as swingers clubs. D*unk girls snogging each other loudly but only if they're sure they have a male audience.

The walrus. Or that's what it sounds like, the woman screeching and grunting like a walrus in a play room, to make sure everyone knows she's being fucked.

The group of about 5 or 6 women who go every week who stick together thinking they own the place, walk right by you deliberately ignoring you, sometimes even giving you the stinkeye, desperately trying to find a guy they've not fucked yet they just see other females as competition and god help you if you talk to a guy they have their eye on, the animosity is palpable.

The single guy, clinging to his pint, looking embarrassed, shy and uncomfortable, wishing he'd had a mate to come with.

The old guy in the elephant/leopard print/shiny fabric thong and a bow tie.

The manimal - a guy who you see disappearing into a play room over and over again with a different woman and wondering how the hell he's managing to go that many times.

The dungeon show off. Usually a man who thinks he is the messiah of bdsm, flogging some woman over a bench "teaching" people his art whilst claiming to have 50 years experience of being master or sir to royalty and celebs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s a dodgy film on Netflix called More the Merrier that seems to nail a few of the swinging stereotypes.

We watched it after only going to a club a couple of times and we were pissing ourselves watching it, quite uncanny how they captured the different personalities and dynamics.

Worth a watch if you haven’t seen it already!

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset


"For me personally it's the "next day brigade". I've seen guys watching me walk around a club, do a double take when all 6ft 3 of me built like a tank walks past, seen them staring at me, yet hardly any of them approaches me. However, the next day, my inbox on here fills with messages from guys who saw me, and gave various reasons as to why they didn't speak to me, such as "so tall, didn't think you'd like shorter men", "wary", "punching above my weight", etc. To be fair, not being spoken to all night because guys are intimidated by me, really is shit. So not sure what they expect when they ask me to meet when they message me the next day, especially if I travelled a fair distance to be at that club do am nowhere near them?

Also, the non bisexual women "club snogging", it happens in normal clubs as well as swingers clubs. D*unk girls snogging each other loudly but only if they're sure they have a male audience.

The walrus. Or that's what it sounds like, the woman screeching and grunting like a walrus in a play room, to make sure everyone knows she's being fucked.

The group of about 5 or 6 women who go every week who stick together thinking they own the place, walk right by you deliberately ignoring you, sometimes even giving you the stinkeye, desperately trying to find a guy they've not fucked yet they just see other females as competition and god help you if you talk to a guy they have their eye on, the animosity is palpable.

The single guy, clinging to his pint, looking embarrassed, shy and uncomfortable, wishing he'd had a mate to come with.

The old guy in the elephant/leopard print/shiny fabric thong and a bow tie.

The manimal - a guy who you see disappearing into a play room over and over again with a different woman and wondering how the hell he's managing to go that many times.

The dungeon show off. Usually a man who thinks he is the messiah of bdsm, flogging some woman over a bench "teaching" people his art whilst claiming to have 50 years experience of being master or sir to royalty and celebs. "

hahahaha all of this too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me personally it's the "next day brigade". I've seen guys watching me walk around a club, do a double take when all 6ft 3 of me built like a tank walks past, seen them staring at me, yet hardly any of them approaches me. However, the next day, my inbox on here fills with messages from guys who saw me, and gave various reasons as to why they didn't speak to me, such as "so tall, didn't think you'd like shorter men", "wary", "punching above my weight", etc. To be fair, not being spoken to all night because guys are intimidated by me, really is shit. So not sure what they expect when they ask me to meet when they message me the next day, especially if I travelled a fair distance to be at that club do am nowhere near them? "

Honestly that’s such an annoying thing. I’ve only been twice and both times I had messages the next day saying the same shit. If you can’t approach the girl smiling at everyone and saying hey to everyone then you don’t belong at the clubs

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By *ady CurvaceousWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"For me personally it's the "next day brigade". I've seen guys watching me walk around a club, do a double take when all 6ft 3 of me built like a tank walks past, seen them staring at me, yet hardly any of them approaches me. However, the next day, my inbox on here fills with messages from guys who saw me, and gave various reasons as to why they didn't speak to me, such as "so tall, didn't think you'd like shorter men", "wary", "punching above my weight", etc. To be fair, not being spoken to all night because guys are intimidated by me, really is shit. So not sure what they expect when they ask me to meet when they message me the next day, especially if I travelled a fair distance to be at that club do am nowhere near them?

Honestly that’s such an annoying thing. I’ve only been twice and both times I had messages the next day saying the same shit. If you can’t approach the girl smiling at everyone and saying hey to everyone then you don’t belong at the clubs "

Spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of these are hilarious but very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The married older lady …. Late 60s who is dropped off by her husband and picked up by him later . Sits at the bar having a drink in her matching lingerie and killer boots … spots a younger male and a conversation takes place.Retire upstairs for some bodily contact shes back at the bar half an hour later not a hair out of place or a drop of sweat on her brow

"

but what a fantastic 10 mins you could of had the other 20 mins doing hair and getting cleaned up lol fab profile and beauifiul pictures x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/12/22 08:08:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The single men either continually following ladies or couples or sitting there playing with themselves. I do neither btw

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

This thread is brilliant hopefully we didn't fit any stereotypes on our visits despite being nervous and new!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread is brilliant hopefully we didn't fit any stereotypes on our visits despite being nervous and new!!"

I’m sure you were fantastic visitors to the club, as most people are xx

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley


"The single men either continually following ladies or couples or sitting there playing with themselves. I do neither btw"

None of us on here do. It must be some others who are giving single men a bad name.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"For me personally it's the "next day brigade". I've seen guys watching me walk around a club, do a double take when all 6ft 3 of me built like a tank walks past, seen them staring at me, yet hardly any of them approaches me. However, the next day, my inbox on here fills with messages from guys who saw me, and gave various reasons as to why they didn't speak to me, such as "so tall, didn't think you'd like shorter men", "wary", "punching above my weight", etc. To be fair, not being spoken to all night because guys are intimidated by me, really is shit. So not sure what they expect when they ask me to meet when they message me the next day, especially if I travelled a fair distance to be at that club do am nowhere near them?

Honestly that’s such an annoying thing. I’ve only been twice and both times I had messages the next day saying the same shit. If you can’t approach the girl smiling at everyone and saying hey to everyone then you don’t belong at the clubs

Spot on. "

I talk to everyone. Nosey bugger that I am

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By *itty HoodooCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Please ensure you have a good editor should you “write a book” and not “right abook” grammar is always important with the written language.


"the male half of couples who think because hes part of a couple hes the bees knees and you should say yes

the male half of a couple who pushes his luck because he thinks hes safe to do so because hes part of a couple

d*unk women

couples who go week in week out who think they own the club and they tell you the rules.

the guy that goes every week who is a silent/shy person who just gawps all night

the ones who like to let the whole club know they are cumming whiles sounding like a elephants fart ie fake as fuck

oh i could right abook on this the main gripe is male halfs of couples being the biggest pain ( in fact few but always ruins the night)

"

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Bald headed roid guy and the 2 black guy joined at the hip to one get the nod.

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

Haha, these are amazing! Loving this thread!

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