FabSwingers.com forum: Nagging thoughts

By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

So we started our swinging adventure with going to a club. La Chambre to be exact. Had a fantastic time there and really really enjoyed ourselves.

We did not swap with anyone as it was our first time but we met a nice couple who were very keen to swap. They joined us in the same room whilst we both had sex as our own couple.

May be strange but I felt guilty to my wife for watching the the woman. Not guilty I was doing it but guilty I was not paying enough attention to her. It was a strange feeling which we spoke about together as soon as we had finished. We have a very truthful relationship and discuss all our thoughts and fears. When we came into the swinging idea we talked this through openly and have done so throughout. We are (as everyone suggests to be) very secure in our relationship and have fantastic communication.

Sorry a little off topic there but wanted to give background. Anyway What worries me is my reaction to us swapping. We have discussed this endlessly and some days I am good with it in my mind and other days I have lots of thoughts going through my head.

Will i be ok with other men having sex with my wife, wil my wife be ok with me and another woman. I know everyone is different and will generally say that but I would like to hear from others about there thoughts and how they controlled them prior to swapping???

Thanks guys and appreciate any responses

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I think if you are having any doubts or fears at all then of hold off for the time being. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't do it if you are not 100% sure. Of course most people are nervous during their first encounters .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We discussed all our fears expectations ect before we entered into the world if swinging, to make sure we were both happy and it was what we both wanted!

If at any time either of us had any doubts we would take a step back,

It sounds like you might not be ready to swap, just take things at your own pace and keep the communication going,

The first time I watched Luke play with another woman I found it a huge turn on and had a feeling a pride, " yeah that's my man making her moan" kind if pride,

And he feels the same when I am playing with another man or woman,

Maybe just start with same room sex with your own partners and see how you feel!!!

Good luck to you both

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By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Thank you for your posts. I think as you said I am nervous rather than have doubts. For sure we would be absolutely fine but I am also nervous.

How do you move past the nerves?? I am known to be a great thinker and analyse every detail(in my head). Unfortunately just a trait of mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you for your posts. I think as you said I am nervous rather than have doubts. For sure we would be absolutely fine but I am also nervous.

How do you move past the nerves?? I am known to be a great thinker and analyse every detail(in my head). Unfortunately just a trait of mine

The nerves will always be there, it's part of the build up before playing, I too over think things in normal everyday life, but don't over think things in the swing life,

So try not to analyse things just go with the flow, and only do things when your both good and ready.

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By *kmale421Man
over a year ago

wirral

A few thoughts on this for starters, the first being that we have heard how the male feels, and you have described your situation and feelings very eloquently, but it would be good to hear the females feelings too, as her thoughts might be slightly different.

Reading your profile, you are new into swinging and therefore I think it takes time to find the levels you wish to get to.

The most worrying aspect of your OP is the word "guilty". Now I'm not a couple and haven't swung as a couple, but having read many forum threads on how people feel about sharing, many people use many different ways to describe their adventures, especially when they first got into swinging. That ranged from the many versions of words that covered the pleasure they had experienced when swapping, through to feelings of jealosy and guilt thatis sme cases added to the pleasure and in some cases clearly didn't.

If you felt guilty about looking at the other woman while having sex with your wife, I'd think it's a sign to take things very slowly and to stick to same room, own partner fun until and if you feel the desire to move on from there to swapping.

Many people whom have been in swinging for some time would have started off by just watching, then softplay, eventually followed by full swap and even into involving various combinations to suit the desires as they develop. Whatever you do, don'y rush things else you'll very quickly find out that something that you could enjoy becomes painful and thats no good for anyone.

best of luck.

Mark

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By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Thank you for the posts. They have been very good. I shall get the wife to post here later about her thought rather than me try to explain.

I am glad to hear that others over analyse everything haha. It does get annoying.

Thank you Mark and I feel your comments are particularly helpful. We do very much intend to take it slowly and have already discovered that we are very voyeur. Even if we do not swap we have already learnt that about us as a couple and are pleased with that.

I need to overcome the nerves lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As many other forumrites have advised keep communicating to one another and take things slowly.. One thing I will advise and it's based solely on your comment in your OP is that before taking the step of meeting in private why not venture forth to the club again as you did state you had a fantastic time... you may find a few more visits to the club will build your confidence levels up.. You may find you don't want to take swinging any further i.e swapping partners, etc but the odd occassional club visit will suffice and satisfy your desires..

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By *londeandbrownCouple
over a year ago

taunton

Our first experience was supposed to be a soft gentle time but we all fit carried away with the moment and it was a full on,no holds barred fuck fest,everything happened . We drove home feeling weird then had a good chat , which made us realise that our relationship is very strong and neither of us felt guilty or bad for what happened ,

It was a very liberating feeling having sex to such an extent with total strangers infront of each other and not only being turned in by it but also feeling no guilt .

It's just sex and a physical thing it shouldn't interfere with the emotional side if your relationship but only make you closer , at the end if the night you go home together with grins on your face

Good luck and take baby steps unless you go all in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

were like this so sticking to soft swap for now until were sure xx

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By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Thanks everyone. We have already organised another two trips to a club in the coming month.

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By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Hi everyone... Mrs Pathfinder here!

Thanks for all your replies to Mr Pathfinders post earlier today – He now feels much better about everything and has come to the conclusion that he really was over thinking the what’s, ifs and buts too much. We agree with everyones posts that we are not near the stage of a full swap yet so we have agreed to enjoy the here and now of voyeurism at LC in the new year.

I do however (and mr path is fully supportive of this route) want to experience being with another woman in the very near future. It's always been a fantasy of mine I am most defiantly bi-curious

I have a few questions on what the best way to find a bi fem is but will add a seperate post for this

Thanks again everyone,

Mrs Pathfinder xxx

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I think if you are having any doubts or fears at all then of hold off for the time being. Xx "

Very good advice

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

"Hi everyone... Mrs Pathfinder here!

I do however (and mr path is fully supportive of this route) want to experience being with another woman in the very near future. It's always been a fantasy of mine I am most defiantly bi-curious

I have a few questions on what the best way to find a bi fem is but will add a seperate post for this

Thanks again everyone,

Mrs Pathfinder xxx"

I was going to suggest that you just have the ladies play together then when ready, the guys join in, orally etc but only having penatative sex with their own partner only. This is something that me and my other half used to do, there was no guilt and no worries. We never did move on to full swap, it wasnt for us, but we enjoyed the sexyness of all being together.

Good luck xx

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

The crux of your whole post is this sentence for me

'' some days I am good with it in my mind and other days I have lots of thoughts going through my head''

I think if you're happy to share or just analyse ''those thoughts'' yourself then this would answer a lot of your questions

Just my opinion

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Hi everyone... Mrs Pathfinder here!

I do however (and mr path is fully supportive of this route) want to experience being with another woman in the very near future. It's always been a fantasy of mine I am most defiantly bi-curious

I have a few questions on what the best way to find a bi fem is but will add a seperate post for this

Thanks again everyone,

Mrs Pathfinder xxx"

Sorry guys only just read this and it seems you have come to some sensible conclusions.

Enjoy yourselves and please tell Mr P not to ''Sweat the small stuff'' your boundaries will fall into place along the journey

Above all have fun

We're here for a good time not a long time

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By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

"your boundaries will fall into place along the journey

We're here for a good time not a long time

Could not have put it any better thank you for your reply and advice - really is much appreciated - cant wait for our journey to begin...

Mrs P xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our first experience was supposed to be a soft gentle time but we all fit carried away with the moment and it was a full on,no holds barred fuck fest,everything happened . We drove home feeling weird then had a good chat , which made us realise that our relationship is very strong and neither of us felt guilty or bad for what happened ,

It was a very liberating feeling having sex to such an extent with total strangers infront of each other and not only being turned in by it but also feeling no guilt .

It's just sex and a physical thing it shouldn't interfere with the emotional side if your relationship but only make you closer , at the end if the night you go home together with grins on your face

Good luck and take baby steps unless you go all in

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