FabSwingers.com forum: Equality in bed

By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I remember when I was much younger and played with men in their 20s where a majority of them just wanted me to suck their cock and ride them, never making me orgasm. Since then, I gone with men similar age or in their 30s, where they been either equal or more giving in bed. Is it an age thing or I just met selfish lovers when I was in my 20s?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you just met selfish lovers. ive always been more of a giver in the bedroom rather than a receiver, I actually get more turned on by giving pleasure to a woman than I do by receiving.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I don't think it's an age thing. I've met people in their twenties who worship at the temple, and people in their 50s who just take. It's just a matter of finding the right people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From personally experience it's not an age thing but specific to the person. My ex even in his late 30s still did the bare minimum foreplay wise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I've not seen an age thing, though younger will often have less experience, which can hinder some. I think it's about picking the right matches for your needs, which will often vary over time of course

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

selfish lovers,,

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By *lueeyes3082Man
over a year ago

nr kettering

"I remember when I was much younger and played with men in their 20s where a majority of them just wanted me to suck their cock and ride them, never making me orgasm. Since then, I gone with men similar age or in their 30s, where they been either equal or more giving in bed. Is it an age thing or I just met selfish lovers when I was in my 20s?"

Think it just depends how much experience the man has had by a certain age x

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Face in and get busy

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

[Removed by poster at 05/12/22 19:41:16]

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x"

No I'm pretty bad at asking for what i want in bed. But lately all my lovers been so giving and sensual in bed without me asking. I been loving it. The sex now is super hot. I get odd guys who hardly does much but again they been men in their 20s.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x

I have found 40+ to have a little something extra - and people in theirs 20s and 30s are obsessed with squirt, like it’s a trophy!

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x

I have found 40+ to have a little something extra - and people in theirs 20s and 30s are obsessed with squirt, like it’s a trophy!

It's no biggie. I just prefer to see the body on the lady ripple after orgasm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x

I have found 40+ to have a little something extra - and people in theirs 20s and 30s are obsessed with squirt, like it’s a trophy!

It's no biggie. I just prefer to see the body on the lady ripple after orgasm

I blame porn!

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x

I have found 40+ to have a little something extra - and people in theirs 20s and 30s are obsessed with squirt, like it’s a trophy!

It's no biggie. I just prefer to see the body on the lady ripple after orgasm

I blame porn!"

Jesus, I see some of that shit and wince. 80s and 90s porn was more realistic

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

I think it's personality driven. I've always wanted my partners to enjoy sex as much as me, so I make an effort to make that happen. I'm sure most guys realise this is the best way, only some get there faster than others. So I can believe older guys you've been with are generally more considerate than young ones.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I think it's personality driven. I've always wanted my partners to enjoy sex as much as me, so I make an effort to make that happen. I'm sure most guys realise this is the best way, only some get there faster than others. So I can believe older guys you've been with are generally more considerate than young ones."

My friend who is 21 says guys her age just seem to be interested in deep throat, anal and squirting...sounds like too much porn watching to me. I always thought maybe younger men don't really know what to do in bed so get me to do all the work lol

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x

I have found 40+ to have a little something extra - and people in theirs 20s and 30s are obsessed with squirt, like it’s a trophy!

I still have no clue about squirting. To me it's an urban myth lol

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

"you just met selfish lovers. ive always been more of a giver in the bedroom rather than a receiver, I actually get more turned on by giving pleasure to a woman than I do by receiving."

I'm the same way!

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Could be a bit of both! But in my experience it's selfishness for sure!

My ex was nearly 33 by the time we broke up and I realise now he had no patience for my pleasure - the first 6 months was definitely just for show!

Mr Fox turned 30 just after we got together, and from our first time in bed together I've been blown away at how different it is when someone actually wants you to feel good.

So glad you're finding sex has improved

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By *eybert77Man
over a year ago

Ramsey

I think some of it maybe to do with age and perhaps who you meet early on when you start having sexual relations.

My first encounters with the opposite sex were with either older women or women around my age who were very confident and knew what they wanted which helped form the type of lover that I am today. For me it’s about mutual pleasure and always has been.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooh. Could be, and definitely was with myself. I was very selfish when I was young. When I had finished, it was finished. I’m just being honest.

It took a few years to then learn the enjoyment of giving and how it’s more intense. Maybe that came from talking or discovering myself, but sex now is definitely different than it was.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Could be a bit of both! But in my experience it's selfishness for sure!

My ex was nearly 33 by the time we broke up and I realise now he had no patience for my pleasure - the first 6 months was definitely just for show!

Mr Fox turned 30 just after we got together, and from our first time in bed together I've been blown away at how different it is when someone actually wants you to feel good.

So glad you're finding sex has improved

Yes definitely improved. Never wana be 21 year old me again. I got into tantric sex which is sooo nice

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find older men have more finesse in the bedroom usually.

It's not always just about being selfish; I find some people just lack finesse. My name for them are cervical bangers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also remember that some people get worse with age, refusing to do things they used to, could be they never liked it and did things just to please you, now stop doing them, selfishness plays a part it's a combination

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By *handlerMonicaCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"Also remember that some people get worse with age, refusing to do things they used to, could be they never liked it and did things just to please you, now stop doing them, selfishness plays a part it's a combination "

I think this is a good point, some people will get better with age, as they learn and get more experience, whereas others will become lazy and stop putting in the effort.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

You're probably right! I know I lacked confidence at 21 due to my lack of experience - it took a few years to build that up. But I could always differentiate between porn sex and real sex... I guess it just takes some longer than others to figure that part out!

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Is it an age thing or I just met selfish lovers when I was in my 20s?"

Look at it this way, Cherry … Things have improved for you. You’ve met more considerate, giving, lovers. It’s progress! You’re a lucky lady. Be happy about it.

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By *it4uMan
over a year ago

Brighton / Eastbourne / SW France

It’s better when you’re a similar age

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Nah, not necessarily. I disagree there. It’s down to how well the two (or more) of you fit together. Compatibility. Not ages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you just met selfish lovers. ive always been more of a giver in the bedroom rather than a receiver, I actually get more turned on by giving pleasure to a woman than I do by receiving."

I'm with you on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you just met selfish lovers. ive always been more of a giver in the bedroom rather than a receiver, I actually get more turned on by giving pleasure to a woman than I do by receiving.

I'm with you on that."

And when comes the time when you would like some back and they refused, where do you go then?

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By *r SpiegalMan
over a year ago

gateshead

You will have met a selfish man.

Most men especially at a young age would always give oral back and would be doing most positions that have been allowed.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"You will have met a selfish man.

Most men especially at a young age would always give oral back and would be doing most positions that have been allowed. "

Not from my experience. Most young men i been with been extremely selfish with

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"you just met selfish lovers. ive always been more of a giver in the bedroom rather than a receiver, I actually get more turned on by giving pleasure to a woman than I do by receiving.

I'm with you on that.

And when comes the time when you would like some back and they refused, where do you go then?"

Been there...i left and never returned

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"You will have met a selfish man.

Most men especially at a young age would always give oral back and would be doing most positions that have been allowed.

Not from my experience. Most young men i been with been extremely selfish with "

With these men in question, if i find out they're selfish lovers...i left them...just sad i met too many in my past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you just met selfish lovers. ive always been more of a giver in the bedroom rather than a receiver, I actually get more turned on by giving pleasure to a woman than I do by receiving.

I'm with you on that.

And when comes the time when you would like some back and they refused, where do you go then?

Been there...i left and never returned"

For some people leaving isn't always an easy option

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By *urenutsMan
over a year ago

waltham cross/Harrow HA1

"You will have met a selfish man.

Most men especially at a young age would always give oral back and would be doing most positions that have been allowed.

Not from my experience. Most young men i been with been extremely selfish with

With these men in question, if i find out they're selfish lovers...i left them...just sad i met too many in my past

I guess you been unlucky with some selfish ones

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

"My friend who is 21 says guys her age just seem to be interested in deep throat, anal and squirting...sounds like too much porn watching to me. I always thought maybe younger men don't really know what to do in bed so get me to do all the work lol"

Porn is a huge part of the issue. It creates unrealistic and often impractical expectations. However, I don't think that's just with young men. Plenty of older men who also can't differentiate between porn and real life.

Also, the way younger men behave can be very dependent on who they've been with. A lot of younger women dont feel confident advocating for their needs and in so are more likely to play along and reinforce that men are doing good jobs. Especially as they are also seeing fake commercial porn and being given the impression that's what they should act like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer porn 20 years old or older as its just gotten stupid now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys just know how to please a girl and others don’t. Some want to please others and some are just selfish X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer porn 20 years old or older as its just gotten stupid now"

I wish we could link clips on fab! There’s one doing the rounds…. Men being approached in the street, with a drawing of a woman, asking them where the clit is…..

oh god it’s bad! So bad!!

No bloody wonder!!

I hope sex education is now, more about mutual pleasure!

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By *JFeelsMan
over a year ago

Birmingham,London,Leeds

I don't understand it when people ask what do you enjoy, turns you on anything in particular and they just reply that's for you to find out... Doesn't make sense to me, if you both wish to be pleasured then being open what you like, clitoral Vs penetration, sensual Vs sadistic makes things so much better. Cuts the crap parts out and the off putting prodding etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand it when people ask what do you enjoy, turns you on anything in particular and they just reply that's for you to find out... Doesn't make sense to me, if you both wish to be pleasured then being open what you like, clitoral Vs penetration, sensual Vs sadistic makes things so much better. Cuts the crap parts out and the off putting prodding etc"

That’s what’s good about fab! People are usually more upfront and honest and you don’t have to go on dates, which are basically just interviews for sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With most young man they my not last in act to long, and once they explode it’s a game over for them. Why they didn’t want to please you before hand? Not sure laziness and lack of experience probably.

The older lads who has more experience in bed they know that put a finger in and get it a little wet is not what all is about, so they make little more effort more often, but what you want is real mature man who know how to please a woman and wiling to make the effort. Luckily for you ladies there are man like this about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right, do I have to wear stopwatch every time I want to go down on someone?

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By *rincess Peach xxCouple
over a year ago

leeds

It’s just a some men thing, the ones of us who give in our 20s get even better in our 30s.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve made women cum before and not cum myself and still really enjoyed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t think it’s an age thing personally we have met people in there 50s that just walked in dropped there trousers and wanted mrs to do all the work

As some people have said porn has had an impact on the way people in there twenties view sex and woman in general but it’s not all people just certain ones the good thing about fab is you can sort through the shit to get to the diamonds

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

More men should be aware that the more effort and attention we put to task, the greater the desire for maximum reciprocation there will be from the other person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"More men should be aware that the more effort and attention we put to task, the greater the desire for maximum reciprocation there will be from the other person

It’s also completely fine, should you wish to come in and please us, and be happy with just that. It’s what women have been doing for years

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"More men should be aware that the more effort and attention we put to task, the greater the desire for maximum reciprocation there will be from the other person

Is that too higher level of understanding for most men?

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Don’t think it’s an age thing personally we have met people in there 50s that just walked in dropped there trousers and wanted mrs to do all the work

This is going back 20 years ago when porn was done differently though....but this is why I can't watch straight porn, it's too masculine led. I prefer women friendly or decent gay porn.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"More men should be aware that the more effort and attention we put to task, the greater the desire for maximum reciprocation there will be from the other person

Is that too higher level of understanding for most men?

I can't speak for other men

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

" this is why I can't watch straight porn, it's too masculine led. I prefer women friendly or decent gay porn."

Same!

Or just home made

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x

I have found 40+ to have a little something extra - and people in theirs 20s and 30s are obsessed with squirt, like it’s a trophy!

I still have no clue about squirting. To me it's an urban myth lol"

Some folk on here think it's just a case of pissing yourself when your excited / cum.

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

My pleasure comes from feeling the lady orgasm, just need a willing partner!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could it be that you’ve grown in confidence and ask for what you want, now?

I won’t put up with crap sex, like I did in my 20s!

Life’s too short x"

This

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

[Removed by poster at 07/12/22 21:03:31]

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

We should tease and tantalise each other ..surely that's what good sex is all about

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

"I have found 40+ to have a little something extra - and people in theirs 20s and 30s are obsessed with squirt, like it’s a trophy!

I still have no clue about squirting. To me it's an urban myth lol

Some folk on here think it's just a case of pissing yourself when your excited / cum."

Squirting being an ultimate goal is something else porn can be "thanked" for. Its lead to a lot of people actively looking for squirters and celebrating instances of it happening as if its a trophy.

From my own personal experience, the first time it happened I was a naive 19 year old and absolutely horrified that I'd somehow wet the bed when orgasming

For the next ... 7ish years, I would mentally and physically block myself from orgasming because I could feel that same sensation coming and was embarrassed. When I was able to start relaxing and enjoying myself more, squirting would frequenty happen. As I became more intune with my body I also found that I got naturally wet easily when around (which is seperate to squirting). I eventually just accepted its all part of the parcel. I even have a waterproof blanket that helps save my bedding and mattress lol.

Apparently 1 in 4 adult women experience some form of stress incontinence which can include during sex. But as incontinence doesn't sound as sexy as squirting its not discussed. I'd hate to think that 1 in 4 women may have to worry about enjoying sex/orgasming out of fear of being seen as "pissing yourself when you're excited". However! I do agree that where squirting has become so idealised and fantasised because of porn, some women have taken to forcing it to be a bigger thing. I honestly believe most aren't really conscious of the difference though. At some point it just becomes their natural response.

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford

"More men should be aware that the more effort and attention we put to task, the greater the desire for maximum reciprocation there will be from the other person

Exactly this is completely deflating and confidence shattering when it always seems one sided

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By *r SpiegalMan
28 weeks ago

gateshead

Bit of both as I had similar for woman

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