FabSwingers.com forum: What it means to you to be a Swinger

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I've been on this site a while now as a couple and on my own, I've always struggled when doing it by myself if I am actually classed as a Swinger or am I just ethically non-monogamous or are they just the same thing?

This is something copy and pasted from a Google search what are your thoughts?

Swingers can be couples (married or not) or singles.

They have a sexually free spirit. Couples tend to be in love with each other, and only "share" each other sexually with others. Sometimes this means "swapping wives" sometimes it means "group sex".

Single swingers generally despise the dating process and would rather meet at swinger gatherings where it is acceptable and in some cases expected that sex can/will occur on the spot with whomever they meet and feel attracted to.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

In general an honest swinger is ethically non monogamous, but they're not the same thing.

Generally it's the difference between the /amorous and /gamous suffix. Whether it's an emotional or physical connection.

I mostly consider myself more poly than swing in general, but sometimes it's good to just let loose at the right parties.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Personally I just do what I want in the way that I want to and I hope other people do too. 'swinging' and 'swinger' broadly cover most casual sex scenarios and the rest is down to discussion with the people we meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In general an honest swinger is ethically non monogamous, but they're not the same thing.

Generally it's the difference between the /amorous and /gamous suffix. Whether it's an emotional or physical connection.

I mostly consider myself more poly than swing in general, but sometimes it's good to just let loose at the right parties."

Interesting you mentioned being more poly and leads me to another question lol I much prefer a connection over just sleeping with anyone I find attractive, does that make me more poly then a Swinger? I know my wife is definitely Poly but she has a secondary loving relationship and definitely isn't a Swinger so it is easier to define, I'm just trying to figure out how I fit in with in the lifestyle

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Interesting you mentioned being more poly and leads me to another question lol I much prefer a connection over just sleeping with anyone I find attractive, does that make me more poly then a Swinger? I know my wife is definitely Poly but she has a secondary loving relationship and definitely isn't a Swinger so it is easier to define, I'm just trying to figure out how I fit in with in the lifestyle "

Everyone does these things in their own way. I wouldn't worry too hard about doing it a certain way for the sake of fitting into the right label. Just do what makes you happy and as long as you're honest with the people around you then you're doing it right.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

I'm not a swinger. I merely consort with them.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I actually don't think too deeply in to it. Desiring variety in people and sexual activity just feels normal to me as an individual. As a couple being in a relationship where you share that together and are accepted are supported in your desires by your partner to me is exactly how a good relationship should be. I'm proud I can be me and I don't worry too much what others think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that description is a good one op.

For me it's just that I like the personalities and characteristics of the people I've met from here.

I like sex, but on my terms only. No desire for a relationship and Fab helps interact with like minded people with similar views.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I actually don't think too deeply in to it. Desiring variety in people and sexual activity just feels normal to me as an individual. As a couple being in a relationship where you share that together and are accepted are supported in your desires by your partner to me is exactly how a good relationship should be. I'm proud I can be me and I don't worry too much what others think."

It feels normal to me too, I'm just an over thinker at times and it helps me to have that label on things, when my wife first started going down the polyamorous route and started to fall in love with someone else the fact there was a label for it kind of helped me to normalise it and realise that it could very well work witch it has been doing. If that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we should consult king Louie, the king of the swingers for this one

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"In general an honest swinger is ethically non monogamous, but they're not the same thing.

Generally it's the difference between the /amorous and /gamous suffix. Whether it's an emotional or physical connection.

I mostly consider myself more poly than swing in general, but sometimes it's good to just let loose at the right parties."

I consider my self as monogamous relationship wise. I consider myself sexually non-monogamous.

That's not to say I am devoid of feelings, love or care for people I'm sexually involved with (or others I'm involved with non-sexually to be fair). Quite the opposite to be fair (as those who know me know). Love and friendship is a spectrum and there are many levels of love and friendship to me. And obviously this varies depending on the person or dynamics.

After meeting My Girl I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone else. For me she is taste the difference (if that makes sense). With her I can truly be fully open, free and frankly me. This freedom has showed me that it's her I want to be with, no one else, just always her. Relationship wise I have everything I need. Doesn't mean I don't have friendships where I also truly and may also have sexual element. I just don't desire to be with anyone but My Girl.

BTW I'm not saying that poly people don't have the same strong absolutely awesome relationships from anyone they're with. That's not what I'm saying (in case it came across that way). Just for me personally I have everything I need from my other half and that works for me.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I get that. I think when something is an element of your daily world you can get a bit blasé about it. As I have done here. But defining in your own head what going on is helpful, especially with the extra dimensions you have going with your wife. So I understand that.

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