FabSwingers.com forum: Time wasters

By *ad black sheep OP Man
over a year ago

Kent/London/Surrey

Just got stood up, it is so infuriating. I was at the property and buzzed up but no answer. Waiting outside the front door and communicating through fab, she said she couldn’t see me despite standing outside her door and using the buzzer. Just a big wind up!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad black sheep OP Man
over a year ago

Kent/London/Surrey

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently "

There should be a name and shame section!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hilliplisa790Couple
over a year ago

Paignton

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!"

This I would love to see, been stood up loads of times but never actually at the door

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!"

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over. "

Would agree with you on that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

London

It’s getting pretty common now the whole time wasting thing.

Lots going as far as arranging a meet and swapping addresses only to then just disappear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad black sheep OP Man
over a year ago

Kent/London/Surrey

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over.

Would agree with you on that. "

There is that risk but on behalf of everyone that has been victim of this, something has to be done.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over.

Would agree with you on that.

There is that risk but on behalf of everyone that has been victim of this, something has to be done."

Why should the site be responsible?

I've never had a no show in 6 years here and never been one.

If it's happening regularly then maybe look at the common denominator and change how you vet those you choose to chat to or arrange to meet.

Abuse of a naming and shaming option isn't just a risk, it's a certainty. You only have to look at all the whinging statuses and forum posts every day.

It's your own responsibility to look for red flags and the site shouldn't have to hold anyones hand.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over. "

This is exactly why it's against site rules to name and shame

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Just got stood up, it is so infuriating. I was at the property and buzzed up but no answer. Waiting outside the front door and communicating through fab, she said she couldn’t see me despite standing outside her door and using the buzzer. Just a big wind up!"

You will get banned for naming and shaming. All you can do is report the profile to admin and let them deal with it. Next time, just meet in a public place, no expectations and with plan B if it doesn't happen. I never had no shows but plenty of men saying they meet then using excuses not to turn up or just ghosting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousblondwifeCouple
over a year ago

wickford

We will only ever start chatting to people who are fab verified & previous meet verifications, at least you know that if all goes well they will turn up x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!"

'Glint will happily go to meet a stranger for sex in the middle of the night'.

Like that?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over.

Would agree with you on that.

There is that risk but on behalf of everyone that has been victim of this, something has to be done.

Why should the site be responsible?

I've never had a no show in 6 years here and never been one.

If it's happening regularly then maybe look at the common denominator and change how you vet those you choose to chat to or arrange to meet.

Abuse of a naming and shaming option isn't just a risk, it's a certainty. You only have to look at all the whinging statuses and forum posts every day.

It's your own responsibility to look for red flags and the site shouldn't have to hold anyones hand. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over.

Would agree with you on that.

There is that risk but on behalf of everyone that has been victim of this, something has to be done.

Why should the site be responsible?

I've never had a no show in 6 years here and never been one.

If it's happening regularly then maybe look at the common denominator and change how you vet those you choose to chat to or arrange to meet.

Abuse of a naming and shaming option isn't just a risk, it's a certainty. You only have to look at all the whinging statuses and forum posts every day.

It's your own responsibility to look for red flags and the site shouldn't have to hold anyones hand. "

Excellent advice.

My first five meets on here I got stood up. I was completely unprepared, as I'd never experienced that on any other site, but I figured 5 different guys all behaving the same way was more than a coincidence.

Changed how I screen (much more conversation up front, socials first, never "meet now " or meet someone who is in a local hotel for the night) and I can't claim to never get stood up any more but it's a real rarity now.

The guys who complain about jumping through hoops just to get laid are largely the same guys who are likely to stand me up, so it all works out well for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

There's a lot of fake profiles on here unfortunately. Some like swapping messages, some will give a false address to send someone to. Hope you can learn from it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarburst babydollMan
over a year ago

Dingwall

Last two meets with single guys I had on my own were no shows. Last Saturday a meet myself and hubby with another couple only the guy showed up and told us his wife got called into work.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ersephoneHadesCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We’re starting to learn the red flags now but have been stood up more times than actually met up successfully. I guess some people just have no respect or get off on wasting peoples time and money. (No issue with changing mind at any point, just would appreciate letting us know before we put in the time/effort/money and get stuck waiting around).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

OP - Sorry to hear that, but as others have mentioned, you now have an opportunity to tighten your screen procedure for next time. Hopefully you don’t encounter more of the same in the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or when you've been talking to someone for weeks then they block you out of nowhere..baffles me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

i cannot remember the last no show its been years ..but then i have a strict process of picking my meets so im 99.9% sure they are really in the first place ..

is it not telling that most being let down are guys ? why is that ?? dealing with fake people ie men runing women/couples profiles or are people just that cuntish ??? to waste others peoples time ..

if its alaway happening then the problem is you and your picking process for a meet ie if its too good to be true or too easy to arrange then 99% not going to be real

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *angtidy42Couple
over a year ago

Redditch

We find the easiest way to set up a meet is for the ladies to arrange it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!"

And how would you know people are telling the truth

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

This is why clubs are my preference, I already go with people and the other people are already inside.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!"

People on this site alone can’t agree on the definition of a timewaster. A name and shame system would absolutely be abused, particularly by people who feel even the least bit slighted by someone else on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avenvalCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

We were messed about so much we gave up we simply put a meet today up and alter our status to tell people what time date and club we are going to if people turn up that's good if they don't there are always plenty of people to play with in the club.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"We were messed about so much we gave up we simply put a meet today up and alter our status to tell people what time date and club we are going to if people turn up that's good if they don't there are always plenty of people to play with in the club."

This, 100%

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Are u sure it was a woman you were talking to op ?

Sadly many fake profiles will pretend to be a fem/couple & waste others time.

Not that many women would give their address out late night to a stranger to be honest.

I only ever meet socially first in a public place ,if they stand me up I've only wasted half an hour and had a drink.

On fab if it seems too good to be true ,it usually is.Report the profile to admin op though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rKingsmanMan
over a year ago

sutton

These people are ruining this site for the genuine people! I feel your pain OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over.

Would agree with you on that.

There is that risk but on behalf of everyone that has been victim of this, something has to be done.

Why should the site be responsible?

I've never had a no show in 6 years here and never been one.

If it's happening regularly then maybe look at the common denominator and change how you vet those you choose to chat to or arrange to meet.

Abuse of a naming and shaming option isn't just a risk, it's a certainty. You only have to look at all the whinging statuses and forum posts every day.

It's your own responsibility to look for red flags and the site shouldn't have to hold anyones hand. "

Nobody is asking anyone to hold anyone's hand , the OP just wanted the person he was meeting to turn up and meet him like was said , that's all , it's not about anyone having to hold anyone's hand , Fab is full of Timewasters and ghosters, if a person says they will turn up they should and not waste a person's time .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over.

Would agree with you on that.

There is that risk but on behalf of everyone that has been victim of this, something has to be done.

Why should the site be responsible?

I've never had a no show in 6 years here and never been one.

If it's happening regularly then maybe look at the common denominator and change how you vet those you choose to chat to or arrange to meet.

Abuse of a naming and shaming option isn't just a risk, it's a certainty. You only have to look at all the whinging statuses and forum posts every day.

It's your own responsibility to look for red flags and the site shouldn't have to hold anyones hand.

The op is asking for a naming and shaming option on the site which is never going to happen because it will be abused to the nth degree.

If the site really is full of timewasters and ghosts that makes them even easier to spot in advance so there should never take be a problem.

There are thousands of members here and the vast majority have little or no experience of timewasters.

It's only those who are refusing to change their own approach that have to tell the 5% of fabbers who use the forums how rules should be changed to suit them.

If you keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome and blaming the site for that then yes you are expecting your hand held.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ussraneCouple
over a year ago

Romford

What a shame for genuine people, we got let down again last night, no contact whatsoever after weeks of chatting. We’re finding the ratio 70/30 for genuine/not genuine. Annoying thing for anyone is that you go to the trouble and time of making sure you look your best for that person and it’s all for nothing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

" 5% of fabbers who use the forums

thats a bit high i think its more around the 1% ...the forums are tiny compared to the membership

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a shame for genuine people, we got let down again last night, no contact whatsoever after weeks of chatting. We’re finding the ratio 70/30 for genuine/not genuine. Annoying thing for anyone is that you go to the trouble and time of making sure you look your best for that person and it’s all for nothing. "

What were you chatting about for weeks?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ussraneCouple
over a year ago

Romford

We were chatting for weeks as we couldn’t meet up due to each other’s schedules. The content of the chats were various, likes, dislikes, about lots of subjects not just sexual.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ghosting and being stood up thing is also, partly, how people interact online. I've experienced a lot of it from women on dating apps who change their mind or get anxious and then (I assume) find it too stressful to actually say so. It's crap, but unavoidable when the stakes are so low.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

ghosting

['g??st??]

NOUN

the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication:

therees no ghosting on fab unless your in some type of long term connection ie friendship or relationship its yet another word that gets misused on here .. a stranger who stops talking is not ghosting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the word is used in more than one context, to mean slightly different things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. Seems to be a common theme happened to me too recently

There should be a name and shame section!

Worst idea ever. It's too easy to abuse. Every minor disagreement or a bruised ego and your name is plastered all over the site with the professional complainers taking it over.

Would agree with you on that.

There is that risk but on behalf of everyone that has been victim of this, something has to be done.

Why should the site be responsible?

I've never had a no show in 6 years here and never been one.

If it's happening regularly then maybe look at the common denominator and change how you vet those you choose to chat to or arrange to meet.

Abuse of a naming and shaming option isn't just a risk, it's a certainty. You only have to look at all the whinging statuses and forum posts every day.

It's your own responsibility to look for red flags and the site shouldn't have to hold anyones hand. "

There you go!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread