FabSwingers.com forum: Over 40s fussiness

By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I was reminiscing with my friend today how when I was alot younger, I used to be so much more adventurous and carefree with sex and people I had sex with. Now I grown older and become fussy as hell, maybe the fear of bad experiences with men. Some days I wish I would take more risks and maybe get alot more sex than now. Anyone else in their 40s and over experienced this?

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By *reedy JamesMan
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

Obviously my perspective as a man will be quite different, but as I've passed 40 I've realised if I want this, that, and the other from my sex life I better not waste time, and I rue the missed chances of my 20s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, quality over quantity nowadays.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"No, quality over quantity nowadays.

Very difficult finding quality though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you feel like taking a risk I'll just err...leave my interest right here...

(Not that I'm a risk obviously I'm lovely xox)

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Obviously my perspective as a man will be quite different, but as I've passed 40 I've realised if I want this, that, and the other from my sex life I better not waste time, and I rue the missed chances of my 20s"

But being in our 20s we definitely less experienced now. I have way better quality sex now but very little of it

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"If you feel like taking a risk I'll just err...leave my interest right here...

(Not that I'm a risk obviously I'm lovely xox)

I definitely not submissive. There ya go, my fussiness right here causing trouble

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

I feel truly blessed as I have both quality and quantity. But I know what you mean OP .... I am far choosier now than I was when I was younger and certainly won't put up with any nonsense (actual or often just perceived) now that I am a grumpy older woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you feel like taking a risk I'll just err...leave my interest right here...

(Not that I'm a risk obviously I'm lovely xox)

I definitely not submissive. There ya go, my fussiness right here causing trouble

Haha! Have you sneaked at my profile? I might have to amend it because women being submissive is absolutely not a criteria I need. I like a battle for power, it's fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, quality over quantity nowadays.

Very difficult finding quality though"

Yes, perhaps. But certainly worth it when you do. Less is probably more because you really appreciate it.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I'm a lot more adventurous now, but with a very strict set of people. It's not a bad thing to expect standards in the name of mutual pleasure.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I feel truly blessed as I have both quality and quantity. But I know what you mean OP .... I am far choosier now than I was when I was younger and certainly won't put up with any nonsense (actual or often just perceived) now that I am a grumpy older woman!"

You lucky girl, based on those pics you certainly get the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You only go one year over your age lol

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By *eardyBikerMan
over a year ago

nr stonehaven

Not that I had that much going in my earlier days, but there are the odd times I wonder what if ...taking a different road on a few opportunities, how they might have ..or not have, gone ..

Fussiness...maybe just more selective is more appropo OP

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By *ssexSwitchMan
over a year ago

hornchurch

But being in our 20s we definitely less experienced now. I have way better quality sex now but very little of it

Speak for yourself lol.

My experience is ok but definitely more in on my 20s than now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, quality over quantity nowadays.

Very difficult finding quality though"

So true! I don’t think I’ve found any quality on here yet.

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By *ssexSwitchMan
over a year ago

hornchurch

"No, quality over quantity nowadays.

Very difficult finding quality though

So true! I don’t think I’ve found any quality on here yet. "

Well I’m over 6ft so I meet some of your check list lol

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I'm the opposite, I'm making up for lost time.

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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill

I have become much more adventurous over time personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, quality over quantity nowadays.

Very difficult finding quality though

So true! I don’t think I’ve found any quality on here yet.

Well I’m over 6ft so I meet some of your check list lol"

If only that was my only criteria lol

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By *reedy JamesMan
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

"No, quality over quantity nowadays.

Very difficult finding quality though

So true! I don’t think I’ve found any quality on here yet. "

But I haven't found quantity either!

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By *iromancergirl1Woman
over a year ago

bolton

Sometimes I wonder if I’m sabotaging what could be good experiences with people but I just think I have to go with my gut and tell myself that experience has brought me to these decisions and that I might not get to have sex often but the sex I am getting is fulfilling and not sex just for the sake of sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately I do think if people are worried they are being too fussy...they're probably being too fussy.

We live in a day and age where we can get whatever we want and especially for women on fab who get 1000s of messages,it's natural to expect it. But in the old days there wasn't choice like today, everyone's expecting better constantly, and yeah, ultimately it does mean missing out on some experiences while waiting for Mr or Mrs perfect.

Its up to each person though, no one owes anyone anything

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Sometimes I wonder if I’m sabotaging what could be good experiences with people but I just think I have to go with my gut and tell myself that experience has brought me to these decisions and that I might not get to have sex often but the sex I am getting is fulfilling and not sex just for the sake of sex."

You are a very sexy woman, stick with it and definitely keep meeting people in clubs, a lacklustre bio could just be average writing skills, when in person they could be absolutely charming

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By *iromancergirl1Woman
over a year ago

bolton

You are a very sexy woman, stick with it and definitely keep meeting people in clubs, a lacklustre bio could just be average writing skills, when in person they could be absolutely charming "
Thank you

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Going with your gut instinct is right imho. It's good to push your boundaries and sometimes take some calculated risks but whenever my instincts tell me 'no' and I go against that - I ALWAYS regret it.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Yes exactly that. I'm so cautious now to avoid drama. Is that my intuition speaking to me or paranoia? Lol

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

You are a very sexy woman, stick with it and definitely keep meeting people in clubs, a lacklustre bio could just be average writing skills, when in person they could be absolutely charming "

I tried 2 clubs now and found nothing there. It was a very costly experience to find this out as I don't have a club that's just down the road

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Ultimately I do think if people are worried they are being too fussy...they're probably being too fussy.

Its up to each person though, no one owes anyone anything

It is really difficult for me when I get so many messages. I just end up saying no to 99.9% of them. The ones I do say yes, ghost you after chatting you up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I, like many men are yet to be approached. But all I want is a lovely lady or couple who like to chat and are pleasant. With a great personality.

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By *rincipessaWoman
over a year ago

your wildest dreams,

Into 50s and I’m fussier than ever. I’m totally aware of what I don’t want anymore as well as the things I do. Energy levels wane, libido fluctuates and so each experience must count. I want something all encompassing. Mind, body and soul. Otherwise it’s just masturbation by proxy

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

As I've got older I've become very fussy. Think my time on fab (6yrs) has made me even fussier.

I also find it harder to find that sexual chemistry.

I have met loads of gorgeous people on here and only played with a few.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Nah I've always been pretty fussy over who I have sex with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gorgeous, and a brilliant bio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m extremely fussy, and I intend to stay that way.

Nothing wrong with that at all op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a chance, life and time marching on. Don't look back and regret not doing something. We would absolutely love to have you ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ultimately I do think if people are worried they are being too fussy...they're probably being too fussy.

Its up to each person though, no one owes anyone anything

It is really difficult for me when I get so many messages. I just end up saying no to 99.9% of them. The ones I do say yes, ghost you after chatting you up "

Of course you get so many messages - look at you!

I think it takes every guy a chat to a stunning woman on this site to realise just how loaded their inboxes can be. Of course you're going for the ones that REALLY match what you want.

But then those guys might get that from a lot of women, so are then players themselves...

Without disclosing work, I know alot about dating/hook up cultures in this day and age from so many people and the above is true for so many gorgeous women. Who get attention but not what they need. And there's nothing that can make it change really!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We've learned from our experiences and they've helped to change our tastes and preferences.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

When I was younger, I would often be so flattered that a girl wanted me that I’d sleep with her without a second thought.

As I got older I developed more self confidence. Or maybe self worth is a better way of putting it. I slowly realised that I was actually attractive (to some!) and could make my own decisions about who I did or didn’t have sex with.

I’ve been happier since. A lot happier.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"When I was younger, I would often be so flattered that a girl wanted me that I’d sleep with her without a second thought.

I’ve been happier since. A lot happier."

That's a very tough lesson to learn and it takes years to recognise that, you maybe attractive to a specific niche (for want of a better word) and that will take some of the guess work out of it.

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By *peak and SpellCouple
over a year ago

Greenwich, SE LONDON

Nothing wrong with being fussy (we both are, wrongly or rightly).

Our free time is short, we need to ensure we have a good time

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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill

"Into 50s and I’m fussier than ever. I’m totally aware of what I don’t want anymore as well as the things I do. Energy levels wane, libido fluctuates and so each experience must count. I want something all encompassing. Mind, body and soul. Otherwise it’s just masturbation by proxy "

Masturbation by proxy, I have never heard that before, its great use of the language! I'll use the age old saying 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery' and borrow that when appropriate, thank you!

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I've always been a bit of a fussy git, although more so now. I guess it's a question of knowing exactly what you want & also what you don't want.

It's a good thing.

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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

"I was reminiscing with my friend today how when I was alot younger, I used to be so much more adventurous and carefree with sex and people I had sex with. Now I grown older and become fussy as hell, maybe the fear of bad experiences with men. Some days I wish I would take more risks and maybe get alot more sex than now. Anyone else in their 40s and over experienced this?

I've always been fussy tbh quality over quantity every time but I guess I'm also more of a realistic expectation now I'm older

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I've always been fussy though I like to call it being very selective x

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By *xfordjohnMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I don't call it being fussy - to me it's being more discriminating in finding what you really want. For example, I get a surprising number of single bi guys messaging me, often just a few suggestive words or illiterate, which doesn't really excite me at all. I'd rather see some evidence of thoughtfulness in their choice - and having actually read my profile.

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By *mashingPumpkinMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

I was way too focused/fussy when I was younger and had a certain type of woman I went for, mainly skinny and blonde. Looking back, had so many missed opportunities together with the inability to read come on signals. As I’ve got older have appreciated all shapes and hair colours and the world is a much better place with so much more choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I'm much more self aware and in control of my sex life now.

In my younger years I had very little self esteem and jumped on any bit of attention I got which often ended in me feeling dejected after or sticking with boring sex because the guy was into me.

Now I'm more choosy who I sleep with and I wouldn't settle for something that didn't give me what I need. I know what I like and I know I can have it.

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I agree , I d prefer to walk the dog and empty the bins than have hot steamy sex ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like walking the dog and having steamy sex

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

As I’ve got older I’ve realised just how much rubbish there is out there and that time is precious. Put both of those thoughts together and it’s a recipe for pickiness!

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

I'm definitely more fussy now I'm older and the quality of my fab encounters has definitely improved as a result. I don't regret going for more meets with people I didn't click as well with. I regret nothing!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Yes and no. I will often go for different types of guy now, so I'd say I'm more experimental in that sense. I just wish I had the same energy!

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By *ust Passing ThroughMan
over a year ago

poole

My tastes have changed as I've got older. Much prefers curves now

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Yes and no. I will often go for different types of guy now, so I'd say I'm more experimental in that sense. I just wish I had the same energy!"

The energy is what I miss the most

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes and no. I will often go for different types of guy now, so I'd say I'm more experimental in that sense. I just wish I had the same energy!

The energy is what I miss the most"

Younger guys have more energy and you can catch it like a sexy cold...just sayin' haha!

I'm joking I'll stop trying to flirt with you x

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I like the fact that as I got older I was more able to feel what the person I was with needed, to form a real sexual connection. Sometimes they need to be hammered like a road drill, other times they want slow and sensual with lots of eye contact and whispering. I find as the partners are more mature, the better they are at this unspoken communication.

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By *ddfellowMan
over a year ago

Newferry, wirral

I am far more picky than i was in my 20's as tbh i was a very easy lay back then, now i'm so picky i rarely get a meet, but rather no meet than one i regret

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

This how picky I become, visited 2 sex clubs, went on dates with 2 men and still haven't had sex for months

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Yes and no. I will often go for different types of guy now, so I'd say I'm more experimental in that sense. I just wish I had the same energy!

The energy is what I miss the most

Younger guys have more energy and you can catch it like a sexy cold...just sayin' haha!

I'm joking I'll stop trying to flirt with you x"

I have to agree, once had a 23 year old afew years ago and his energy levels were amazing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes and no. I will often go for different types of guy now, so I'd say I'm more experimental in that sense. I just wish I had the same energy!

The energy is what I miss the most

Younger guys have more energy and you can catch it like a sexy cold...just sayin' haha!

I'm joking I'll stop trying to flirt with you x

I have to agree, once had a 23 year old afew years ago and his energy levels were amazing

Urgh just tease me why don't you

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