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Ignorent or Naive?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why do some blokes automaticaly assume its the female part of the couple online or only address the female half when messaging?

For example, just had a message saying "would love to get involved babe". Now seeing as we have a couples profile and it doesn't say anything about her meeting on her own I think it's pretty ignorant to aim your message solely at the female half.

It doesn't annoy me in the slightest but it just made me think. In my opinion someone who does that is potentially minimising their chances as I imagine most couples would like to meet someone that they feel they can both chat to or feel comfortable with. By only addressing one half of a couple aren't they potentially alienating the other half??

What are your thoughts on this? Does anyone agree with me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So agree with this, a lot of men assume it's the female in our account messaging, infact Will does as much if not more of the messages, would prefer people to acknowledge us both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get it all the time, we would say 8/10 messages are aimed at Lucy with no mention of Luke at all!! It would be nice to get messages that are aimed to the both of us instead of the " wow lady is hot" but I guess it will never change

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By *errible_TwoCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

yeah our thoughts are the same,anyone who just message me(f) gets deleted and twice blocked we are a couple and its not hard to say hi GUYS think its rude to be honest x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do some blokes automaticaly assume its the female part of the couple online or only address the female half when messaging?

For example, just had a message saying "would love to get involved babe". Now seeing as we have a couples profile and it doesn't say anything about her meeting on her own I think it's pretty ignorant to aim your message solely at the female half.

It doesn't annoy me in the slightest but it just made me think. In my opinion someone who does that is potentially minimising their chances as I imagine most couples would like to meet someone that they feel they can both chat to or feel comfortable with. By only addressing one half of a couple aren't they potentially alienating the other half??

What are your thoughts on this? Does anyone agree with me?"

I think its a fair enough assumption if its a female avatar and all female pictures. It doesn't bother us on the contrary its amusing at times.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It happens to us too. It is mostly me.(f) who messages and posts but we are always together when I do it. In the guys defence though lots of couples profiles only show pictures of the woman.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yea. It just seems dumb to me as I've been on here as a single too. Like already mentioned both need to be comfortable with someone before inviting them into your sex life so it makes plain sense to be polite to both partys.

We would still consider inviting him over but his message would send him down the pecking order

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It happens to us too. It is mostly me.(f) who messages and posts but we are always together when I do it. In the guys defence though lots of couples profiles only show pictures of the woman."

And our profile is one of those you mention but it doesn't take away the fact it's a couples profile. Now if our profile only had pics of the female and she was looking to meet on her own then in that situation i would think it was completely understandable

I hope all the single blokes who are guilty of this heanous crime are taking note lol

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Bad workmen always blame their tools.....if pictures of the woman are the only ones visible then you can expect people to think only of the woman, men are very visual creatures, try changing your avatar to one of you both and see if it makes a difference?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our avatar has both of us in it, doesn't make a blind bit of difference. Most public gallery are pics of Will with couple of me thrown in, guys still message directing to me and not including Will in the conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bad workmen always blame their tools.....if pictures of the woman are the only ones visible then you can expect people to think only of the woman, men are very visual creatures, try changing your avatar to one of you both and see if it makes a difference? "

We will try this for a week, see if it does make a difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do some blokes automaticaly assume its the female part of the couple online or only address the female half when messaging?

For example, just had a message saying "would love to get involved babe". Now seeing as we have a couples profile and it doesn't say anything about her meeting on her own I think it's pretty ignorant to aim your message solely at the female half.

It doesn't annoy me in the slightest but it just made me think. In my opinion someone who does that is potentially minimising their chances as I imagine most couples would like to meet someone that they feel they can both chat to or feel comfortable with. By only addressing one half of a couple aren't they potentially alienating the other half??

What are your thoughts on this? Does anyone agree with me?"

Yes, agree with what you are saying, although I would add that you may be surprised how much this is reduced by having a few pics of your guy on your profile too... That's what we do and don't seem to have that problem any more...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do some blokes automaticaly assume its the female part of the couple online or only address the female half when messaging?

For example, just had a message saying "would love to get involved babe". Now seeing as we have a couples profile and it doesn't say anything about her meeting on her own I think it's pretty ignorant to aim your message solely at the female half.

It doesn't annoy me in the slightest but it just made me think. In my opinion someone who does that is potentially minimising their chances as I imagine most couples would like to meet someone that they feel they can both chat to or feel comfortable with. By only addressing one half of a couple aren't they potentially alienating the other half??

What are your thoughts on this? Does anyone agree with me?

Yes, agree with what you are saying, although I would add that you may be surprised how much this is reduced by having a few pics of your guy on your profile too... That's what we do and don't seem to have that problem any more...

"

We have pics of us both on our profile, still doesn't make any difference lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i allway address the mail as hi guys if im mailing a couple it rude not too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our profile picture is both of us. And we have public pictures of both of us. But people still assume that it is crystal on line and even more so on chat.

I was recently pm'd in chat by a man telling me he wanted to rim me, so I never told it was the male half and played along mainly because his profile was pretty homophobic. We discussed at length what I like and then I went on cam, safe to say he was fucking livid when he realised he was talking to a bloke...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Our profile picture is both of us. And we have public pictures of both of us. But people still assume that it is crystal on line and even more so on chat.

I was recently pm'd in chat by a man telling me he wanted to rim me, so I never told it was the male half and played along mainly because his profile was pretty homophobic. We discussed at length what I like and then I went on cam, safe to say he was fucking livid when he realised he was talking to a bloke... "

Fab-u-lous!

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