FabSwingers.com forum: Should I have made more effort?

By *eliciouslyFilthyGent OP Man
over a year ago

York

I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady?

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By *ello HarveyMan
over a year ago

Lots of places

Depends how the profile read.

I get these sometimes, look at the blank zero effort no picture profile and just delete. If they take the time to say what they are after / make an effort with the profile I will always reply, even if just a hi.

End of the day, you make as much effort as you feel the person deserves and in this case, sounds like you don’t think they deserved much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There really isn’t a right or wrong answer…

Ask yourself did you really want to meet her?

Was it even a woman…

If “you” expect messages with effort then “she” wasn’t for you anyway with her one word message.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 05/10/22 10:06:53]

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By *ungcurveABCMan
over a year ago

london

Fake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest probably wasn't even worth the reply back.

Although sometimes the hi is enough to break the ice.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Its a numbers game. He was looking for some saucy replies

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By *eliciouslyFilthyGent OP Man
over a year ago

York

"Fake"

Me or her?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's unknown. I would reply or not, based on my interest and their effort level. You can't predict that well how things will proceed.

Except it's important to remember that most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. Not remembering that leads to unrealistic expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

Why bother? As you say, double standard in terms of the 'effort' in the initial message.

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

To get our interest we need a nicely worded message some people just are lazy and don’t take time to view the profile details and our preferences

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

I'm guessing that by the time you replied that the sender (50 year old single blokes, still lives with his mum) had finished his (oops 'her') wank.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should you have made more effort? No, "she" should have. We are all worth more than one entitled word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

I wouldn’t of replied back to a ‘Hi’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

We don’t respond to “hi” or clear copy paste jobs. You shouldn’t either. Not everyone is worth your time

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Did "she" have lots of verifications ?

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By *eliciouslyFilthyGent OP Man
over a year ago

York

She had a couple of webcam verifications, but didn’t really look at them.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

I’d be dubious when any meet would occur.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve experienced a distinct lack of effort in terms of messages from quite a few women who said they were interested in me. It’s not a criticism, more an observation. I suppose if I received hundreds of messages from horny women everyday my replies would be short too! :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

Nope she messaged you first, she should have put more effort in I think

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Did you consider deleting without replying as she had made such little effort ?

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

London & Europe

I know it's exciting as a man to get a message out of the blue, but the one word messages are never worth following up on in my experience. It's totally indicative of the effort they will put in overall

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Any message with just "hi" doesn't get a response.

Mrs

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By *eliciouslyFilthyGent OP Man
over a year ago

York

It was early and I was caught by surprise at getting a message!

I didn’t expect anything from it as she had made very little effort in her opening message, but was intrigued nonetheless.

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By *exysoul888TV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

I tend to treat the site like I would real life. If someone says hi to me on the street I say hi back. Same on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds fake to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't of even answered that. What a shite effort (it's not even effort is it)

You get out of it what you put into it

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle somewhere

"I wouldn't of even answered that. What a shite effort (it's not even effort is it)

You get out of it what you put into it

I agree with this. I will put as much effort into a conversation as the other person(s)

Men get a lot of stick for sending shit messages on here but that can be said for women and couples too.

Hopefully your next message has more letters in it than the message heading

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

I used to make the effort but you can only have a conversation if the return message has a string of words that are not text speak, otherwise now just ignore or return the favour with one or two word replies. Us chaps are reputed to be bad for it but the inability to have a meaningful conversation is across the genders.

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

You done alright mate, I give back same energy I get

. Your time and effort is valuable no point wasting it on someone who doesn’t value it

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Probs a bloke!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first message wouldn't have got a reply.

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

If I'd replied at all, I'd have done the same. If someone wants to open a conversation, there are easy enough ways to do it, even the relatively dull 'how are you?' or 'I like your profile pic'. At least they leave you with somewhere to go with the conversation.

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By *limeyoMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

Was this person based in Ripon?

I had a similar message and wrote a little more in response and then nothing

I also got a longer more detailed message from someone randomly that seamed very genuine. I took time to respond in detail. They didn’t read my response for about 2 weeks and then just deleted it

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By *ack 500Man
over a year ago

stafford

She was a he

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"I got a random message from a lady this morning entitled “meet”.

The message contained Hi, and nothing else.

I replied with Hi.My reply was then deleted.

Should I have made more effort, or was it justified just match the effort made by the sender?

I always read on here that single guys make zero effort when sending messages, but wasn’t that the same by a single lady? "

Perfectly acceptable, we get it all the time from single ladies and they get the same amount of effort back as they put in. Quite often they message and then rely on you making all the running. After two or three messages we will often respond with something along the lines of

"if this is an indication of the amount of effort you are prepared to put in then we don't think you are what we are looking for, good luck in your search"

and then delete the conversation.

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By *eliciouslyFilthyGent OP Man
over a year ago

York

"Was this person based in Ripon?

I had a similar message and wrote a little more in response and then nothing

I also got a longer more detailed message from someone randomly that seamed very genuine. I took time to respond in detail. They didn’t read my response for about 2 weeks and then just deleted it "

Blackpool.

She had a couple of verifications, so I remain unconvinced she was a he, it was just all a bit odd.

Agree with the above that said she probably wanted me to make all the effort with a decent message in return.

Had a feeling though after just “Hi” that I was probably wasting my time.

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By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago

"Perfectly acceptable, we get it all the time from single ladies and they get the same amount of effort back as they put in. Quite often they message and then rely on you making all the running. After two or three messages we will often respond with something along the lines of

"if this is an indication of the amount of effort you are prepared to put in then we don't think you are what we are looking for, good luck in your search"

and then delete the conversation."

Agreed, we've had a few guys recently where it's clear we're expected to find and book a hotel and do all the running around. One sentence bare minimum replies, we'd expect a bit of enthusiasm in return.

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

nr Stamford

A very unscientific estimate, we reckon about 75% of the messages we get from guys are one word, haven't read the profile, no effort rubbish.

But more like 95% of the messages we get from single women and couples are just as bad. We figure they're either fakes or think they have a free pass because they have a vagina.

(Bry)

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