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BDSM HELP

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By *ormalcouple1974 OP   Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

looking for someone couple, male or female with sex room as Mrs wants to see what she likes with BDSM. We will travel for this. Anyone could help or recommend someone or somewhere be great. X

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

There's a good few clubs with BDSM rooms and themed nights

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

These threads may be of interest.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1350264

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/clubs/1275872

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By *ormalcouple1974 OP   Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

Thank you

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By *ormalcouple1974 OP   Couple
over a year ago

plymouth


"There's a good few clubs with BDSM rooms and themed nights "

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BDSM is not just about being restrained and flogged. It's a 2 way relationship but the sub is really the one in charge.

The dom must also administer aftercare, ensuring the sub is comfortable and relaxed. Perhaps a massage afterwards to sooth the sore bits.

We recommend the book KINK 101

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"BDSM is not just about being restrained and flogged. It's a 2 way relationship but the sub is really the one in charge.

The dom must also administer aftercare, ensuring the sub is comfortable and relaxed. Perhaps a massage afterwards to sooth the sore bits.

We recommend the book KINK 101"

Accepting everyone is entitled to their view of D/ s,I would with respect disagree, if the sub is in charge then they are the dom. Simple. D/s is about power exchange and I would suggest that without power exchange is not D/s but roleplay.

The whole thing about the sub being in charge comes from a number of positions.

First is that the sub can say no to things being done to them therefore they in control. However the Dom can refuse to do things so the Dom has equal power.

Second, there are subs that don't crave submission, so submission is something the sub permits to be done. I would argue must subs crave submission and need a Dom (or a Top) to help them release their submission. This is why you get service Tops, generally submissives that do impact or act like a Dom to help someone with the submissive itch. Usually on the understanding the other sub will reciprocate. Of course subs don't want just any Dom (well except in the grip of sub frenzy), but being submissive to the right Dom is generally the aim of D/s. I would suggest D/s has two parts, the submissive (within whatever agreed limits) offers submission and the Dom chooses to accept the submission and bring their form of dominance.

All that the sub has, which every person of age and sound mind and not in the forces or jail has,that is the right to decide what happens to their body. But then so has the Dom, who can end the relationship as well or refuse to do things the sub wants.

I generally take the view that it is better not to say D/s is more than being restrained or flogged,or the standard more than pain, without adding, what else it can be. Some like humiliation, some like service which can take different forms.

Also aftercare is not a requirement, I know subs that play heavy that hate aftercare. I know Doms that are not intersted in givibg it. Aftercare should be discussed before play and if required then the decision to continue to play with or without it or not to play can be made. It can also be decided whether the Dom/Top should check in afterwards. Also it is now realised that some Doms need aftercare and subs should check if the Dom needs aftercare.

In terms of books there are a dozen good books out there.

Apologies for typos and if the response comes across brusque.

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By *ormalcouple1974 OP   Couple
over a year ago

plymouth


"BDSM is not just about being restrained and flogged. It's a 2 way relationship but the sub is really the one in charge.

The dom must also administer aftercare, ensuring the sub is comfortable and relaxed. Perhaps a massage afterwards to sooth the sore bits.

Thank you

We recommend the book KINK 101"

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By *ormalcouple1974 OP   Couple
over a year ago

plymouth


"BDSM is not just about being restrained and flogged. It's a 2 way relationship but the sub is really the one in charge.

The dom must also administer aftercare, ensuring the sub is comfortable and relaxed. Perhaps a massage afterwards to sooth the sore bits.

Thank you

We recommend the book KINK 101

Accepting everyone is entitled to their view of D/ s,I would with respect disagree, if the sub is in charge then they are the dom. Simple. D/s is about power exchange and I would suggest that without power exchange is not D/s but roleplay.

The whole thing about the sub being in charge comes from a number of positions.

First is that the sub can say no to things being done to them therefore they in control. However the Dom can refuse to do things so the Dom has equal power.

Second, there are subs that don't crave submission, so submission is something the sub permits to be done. I would argue must subs crave submission and need a Dom (or a Top) to help them release their submission. This is why you get service Tops, generally submissives that do impact or act like a Dom to help someone with the submissive itch. Usually on the understanding the other sub will reciprocate. Of course subs don't want just any Dom (well except in the grip of sub frenzy), but being submissive to the right Dom is generally the aim of D/s. I would suggest D/s has two parts, the submissive (within whatever agreed limits) offers submission and the Dom chooses to accept the submission and bring their form of dominance.

All that the sub has, which every person of age and sound mind and not in the forces or jail has,that is the right to decide what happens to their body. But then so has the Dom, who can end the relationship as well or refuse to do things the sub wants.

I generally take the view that it is better not to say D/s is more than being restrained or flogged,or the standard more than pain, without adding, what else it can be. Some like humiliation, some like service which can take different forms.

Also aftercare is not a requirement, I know subs that play heavy that hate aftercare. I know Doms that are not intersted in givibg it. Aftercare should be discussed before play and if required then the decision to continue to play with or without it or not to play can be made. It can also be decided whether the Dom/Top should check in afterwards. Also it is now realised that some Doms need aftercare and subs should check if the Dom needs aftercare.

In terms of books there are a dozen good books out there.

Apologies for typos and if the response comes across brusque."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are clubs which will have rooms dedicated to this kind of play.

However BDSM is more than chains and floggers. It's the mindset that makes it.

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By *ARKblondeCouple
over a year ago

london


"looking for someone couple, male or female with sex room as Mrs wants to see what she likes with BDSM. We will travel for this. Anyone could help or recommend someone or somewhere be great. X"

Have you looked at going to a munch in Plymouth? To meet the right people locally? And I think a place you can rent opened recently, maybe search FL for 'The Royal Plymouth'...not been, but sounds useable

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By *ustcyberMan
over a year ago

North Herts

It’s an old book now but ‘ Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism’ is a great reference.

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By *ormalcouple1974 OP   Couple
over a year ago

plymouth


"looking for someone couple, male or female with sex room as Mrs wants to see what she likes with BDSM. We will travel for this. Anyone could help or recommend someone or somewhere be great. X

Have you looked at going to a munch in Plymouth? To meet the right people locally? And I think a place you can rent opened recently, maybe search FL for 'The Royal Plymouth'...not been, but sounds useable "

I’ve not heard of that will look it up. Thank you

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By *hil_mids63Man
over a year ago

Leamington


"looking for someone couple, male or female with sex room as Mrs wants to see what she likes with BDSM. We will travel for this. Anyone could help or recommend someone or somewhere be great. X"

You're welcome to try out my homemade sex swing sometime.

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire


"BDSM is not just about being restrained and flogged. It's a 2 way relationship but the sub is really the one in charge.

The dom must also administer aftercare, ensuring the sub is comfortable and relaxed. Perhaps a massage afterwards to sooth the sore bits.

We recommend the book KINK 101"

BDSM is also beyond just Dom/sub dynamics.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

After care is a very personal thing.

As a submissive male, I absolutely hate aftercare. It makes me feel very uncomfortable.

My submission is a massive part of our relationship and I don't need any additional caring or loving or anything after we've done something. If I'm not getting enough love and care in my relationship day to day then I shouldn't be submitting.

I view it a little bit like "reclaim sex". If my partner wants to have sex with another man, that's within our boundaries and that freedom is a fundamental part of our relationship. I don't need to have sex with her after to "reclaim" her because that implies she's done something which needs undoing.

I think aftercare is possibly important when you just play with someone one off etc, but then I'd question if that's really submission or just role play.

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