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Swinging, kink, BDSM crossover

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I came back on here couple of months back after my last relationship ended.

When I first came in Fab I very much saw myself as exploring world of swinging and thought it would be something that played part in any future relationships.

Then I exploring underlying interest in BDSM a bit more and having had D/s relationships I now find myself ultimately looking for a sub and a mono focused dynamic.

Came back on here as in meantime I don't see the harm in some good consensual fun until I meet my next long term sub.

Also I thought you never know if the right sub may be on Fab.

Just wondering if others find there is much of a crossover with Fab and BDSM/fetish world?

I don't mean just a bit of spanking or bed restraints but more full on power exchange, heavy impact play etc

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

We've been swinging for Donkeys years. Plus in the community for 12 years. No, they don't cross. 2 very differant worlds, as we've found.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I not sure if cross over is exactly the right term. But there are definitely a few on here who have an active kink life and also swing. However the two scenes tend to be very different in terms of attitudes and personalities. We definitely find the swingers scene a lot more relaxed and enjoyable. Which works for us because we're generally quite private in enjoying our kinks. However sometimes they do come out in the swingers scene, especially with the right company and chemistry. So the two sometimes mix but generally out in wider world with other people we're far more swingers than kinksters. Also we find that certaint nights, clubs and/or parties have more of a kink side than others.

I think you can find the right person for your kinks on here, they will exist. But chances are they will want to keep swinging as well. If your happy to enjoy both aspects fine. If not maybe stick to searching that popular fet site (that we can't mention) and make it clear your only seeking a solo arrangement. Or of courses enjoy both scenes separately to what ever mixture works.

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

Essex

We definitely cross over, so events like Swish at Hellfire work well for us (if anyone is going on 15 Oct, let us know ).

We’ve always had a switch d/s dynamic (M is sub 90% of the time), but we’ve gone further down the rabbit hole since we started swinging this year, mainly because of the naughty people we’ve met here and in clubs. So there’s definitely cross over, but it seems to be less common than we’d initially thought.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

There are definitely some individuals with a foot in both worlds, but generally they don't cross over. The kink and swing scenes are very, very different environments, and in general terms they seem to attract different kinds of people.

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted

If your question is can are there single ladies or couples into such things here and can you meet them then definitely yes! Of course it's not easy but then again meeting a single lady for swinging is not easy. At least you have an interest to set yourself apart.

We are into such things and met here. We know another couple just like that who met here and we know of single ladies who are interested in more serious BDSM activities including heavy impact play, albeit these things take time of course.

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

I’d say they’re two different things totally, and although you might find couples/ individuals like ourselves who like both worlds not often do they cross and if they do it’s never very far. The trust and power I give mark as a sub isn’t something that would be passed to a stranger swinging and if it were it’s likely do be under marks control so therefore I’m pleasing my master by sharing if that’s makes any sense

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By *elisandre300Woman
over a year ago

dontbefuckingnosey

Came for the sex, stayed for the D/s, kink, BDSM

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

We are kinksters first and foremost, and were delighted to find a few kinky rooms at our first club visit

It's been a bit of a learning curve for myself (Xeno) as I've always been monogamous before, maybe it's just my lack of swinging experience but I find there's so much pressure in this world. So I get back in my box and hope I find my kinky niche someday, lol. - Xeno x

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness


"We are kinksters first and foremost, and were delighted to find a few kinky rooms at our first club visit

It's been a bit of a learning curve for myself (Xeno) as I've always been monogamous before, maybe it's just my lack of swinging experience but I find there's so much pressure in this world. So I get back in my box and hope I find my kinky niche someday, lol. - Xeno x"

.

We've been to a few different club themed nights,

we went to a Club Kink night at the one we go to the most and have to say

it was one of the best nights we have been to, there just seemed to be

a much more relaxed feel to the night out and the demos were amazing to see

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

Well, if you take a look at our profile, you'll see that we certainly dabble in fetish and include BDSM.

When it comes to meeting others and fetish, then we wait until after the initial meeting before introducing kink, as it requires a degree of trust - and this can't be gleaned just through online chat. It takes a first meeting to really get the measure of someone - but if we "click", then it's up for discussion for next time.

It was only earlier that I was restrained in our leather sling, blindfolded, nipple-clamped, fucked and driven to multiple orgasms with a wand.

You know - Monday...

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"We are kinksters first and foremost, and were delighted to find a few kinky rooms at our first club visit

It's been a bit of a learning curve for myself (Xeno) as I've always been monogamous before, maybe it's just my lack of swinging experience but I find there's so much pressure in this world. So I get back in my box and hope I find my kinky niche someday, lol. - Xeno x

.

We've been to a few different club themed nights,

we went to a Club Kink night at the one we go to the most and have to say

it was one of the best nights we have been to, there just seemed to be

a much more relaxed feel to the night out and the demos were amazing to see "

Hopefully we have a lot more kinky club experiences to come!!

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"We are kinksters first and foremost, and were delighted to find a few kinky rooms at our first club visit

It's been a bit of a learning curve for myself (Xeno) as I've always been monogamous before, maybe it's just my lack of swinging experience but I find there's so much pressure in this world. So I get back in my box and hope I find my kinky niche someday, lol. - Xeno x

.

We've been to a few different club themed nights,

we went to a Club Kink night at the one we go to the most and have to say

it was one of the best nights we have been to, there just seemed to be

a much more relaxed feel to the night out and the demos were amazing to see

Hopefully we have a lot more kinky club experiences to come!! "

Oops. Meant

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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago

Sent to Coventry

I’m on the Fet site too.

There are loads of people there like me, with Fab profiles too.

I think there is loads of crossover.

I regularly attend hardcore kink events with a FB I met here. We swing together too without any BDSM being involved.

Not sure if that’s what you mean by crossover but it works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met my DD on here

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I'm the opposite. Many years in BDSM lifestyle, but very little as swinger. I agree that there is a little crossover, but generally very different worlds.

Also I'm not looking to find sub / BDSM play partners here. I'd look on other sites for that.

If that side comes out with my meets here, then that's a nice bonus, but not expect.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

Purely my view below.

I would recommend Peter Tupper's book " A Lover's Pinch" a social and cultural history of sadomasochism.

https://www.amazon.com/Lovers-Pinch-Cultural-History-Sadomasochism/dp/1538111179

If you accept (as well as being mad) De Sade was sexually obsessed, BDSM is historically rooted in sex. The Story of O is rooted (although technically non consensual) in partner swapping. How many Roissey Clubs have there been.

My own view is that in the 80's and 90's with the rise of self expression in women and people wanting to adopt more 'conscious' kink practices there was a move away from the sexual partner swapping element but it has always been there. In France and Germany I would suspect there is not such a divide (I have no evidence though).

In the UK I think the division was more due to stricter licensing laws outside of the South East and Midlands, than purely the thought that kink was deeper than swinging. I am all in agreement for kink and swinging having separate events but that is due to the people that attend for sex and have no understanding of kink protocol (as discussed in an Abfabs thread).

I remember when I started 8 years ago, the majority view was that swingers were shallow. However, from Antichrist to Taboo Noir to the missed Subversion Noir, Decadence and recent DVS there were "couples rooms". Actually at Subversion Noir there were public gang bangs. As for Toppers at the much missed Flying Dutchman, I have heard...stories!

I would say 50% of the people who have bottomed for me were from Fab. I have been invited to private BDSM parties were everyone were also on Fab.

I think currently there are number of crossover events.

You can read the description of "Shamed" on another thread.

As I said earlier in the UK it may be more of South East and Midlands v rest of the UK divide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm the opposite. Many years in BDSM lifestyle, but very little as swinger. I agree that there is a little crossover, but generally very different worlds.

Also I'm not looking to find sub / BDSM play partners here. I'd look on other sites for that.

If that side comes out with my meets here, then that's a nice bonus, but not expect."

Completely agree with this

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I'm the opposite. Many years in BDSM lifestyle, but very little as swinger. I agree that there is a little crossover, but generally very different worlds.

Also I'm not looking to find sub / BDSM play partners here. I'd look on other sites for that.

If that side comes out with my meets here, then that's a nice bonus, but not expect.

Completely agree with this"

Thirded.

One of my frustrations with this site, and swinging in general, is that people mistakenly assume that because BDSM is *part* of my life, it's what I want from *every* encounter. This is simply not the case.

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