FabSwingers.com forum: If fab was like bumble

By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Would fab be better for men or worse if it was only the women who can initiate the conversations? Would there be more active single women online?

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

I think it would be better for everyone. Most of my most successful interactions here have come as a result of the woman making the first move. However, there would be a huge number of men still getting no messages, so they would still be moaning constantly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it would be better for everyone. Most of my most successful interactions here have come as a result of the woman making the first move. However, there would be a huge number of men still getting no messages, so they would still be moaning constantly

Women don’t need of have to make the first move on Fab!

Possession of a vagina and mammary glands puts you at a distinct advantage, so I am led to believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can simulate it by blocking single men.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Women don’t need of have to make the first move on Fab!

Possession of a vagina and mammary glands puts you at a distinct advantage, so I am led to believe. "

But it would reduce the number of nuisance messages we receive. You're missing the point I'm trying to make

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

But will women be happier?

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Presumably that would depend on who they message.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Before anyone says it, I know women can use their message filters to be the one who initiates messaging. But I'm wondering if it is made compulsory, would men's behaviour change?

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

"You can simulate it by blocking single men."

I wouldn't want to be part of something that treated me with suspicion based on my gender.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"You can simulate it by blocking single men."

No but what if FAB was originally set up like bumble? I know we have this option but if it was made compulsory from the beginning, would fab be a different place. So only couples and women can only message

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

"Would fab be better for men or worse if it was only the women who can initiate the conversations? Would there be more active single women online?"

That is an option now. Block guys and they can reply to you.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

But will women be happier?"

No because a lot of women prefer men to take the initiative and make the first move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Before anyone says it, I know women can use their message filters to be the one who initiates messaging. But I'm wondering if it is made compulsory, would men's behaviour change? "

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"You can simulate it by blocking single men.

I wouldn't want to be part of something that treated me with suspicion based on my gender.

So you think dating apps, where you can only message if you're matched like on tinder and only women can message first like on Bumble is wrong?

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

"You can simulate it by blocking single men.

No, because I met my partner here and I (male) sent the first message and there are some people who want men to message first.

It should be an option, but not a rule.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Would fab be better for men or worse if it was only the women who can initiate the conversations? Would there be more active single women online?

That is an option now. Block guys and they can reply to you."

I know that...but my question is implying if fab worked like how dating sites like bumble, would fab be an very different site? Would there be more active women etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find bumble irritating. I would hate for fab to go that way. It works perfectly well for those that are smart.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

"You can simulate it by blocking single men.

I wouldn't want to be part of something that treated me with suspicion based on my gender.

So you think dating apps, where you can only message if you're matched like on tinder and only women can message first like on Bumble is wrong?"

No, there's a place and an audience for them. It ain't me. It wouldn't use them out of principle. Equal opportunity or I'm out

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I find bumble irritating. I would hate for fab to go that way. It works perfectly well for those that are smart. "

I find with bumble the men expect the women to do all the chasing. Personally I think conversation should be mutual as well as mutual natural attraction.

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By *ames_SoloMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I have far more success on Bumble, Tinder and Hinge than I do on Fab (purely because women/couples are inundated with messages as my email is a needle in a haystack OR I'm not what they're looking for at that moment).

Fab definitely needs a revamp or a feature that allows you to swipe yes/no SOLELY based on the preferences you're looking for.

Women/Couples don't want to be bogged down with messages/winks.

Men don't want the frustration of not being answered to.

At least with Tinder/Bumble a rejection means the rejected can't go back to the person's profile and message them "Why aren't you interested in me?!" - Because it's then lost in the void and they swipe through the next people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find bumble irritating. I would hate for fab to go that way. It works perfectly well for those that are smart.

I find with bumble the men expect the women to do all the chasing. Personally I think conversation should be mutual as well as mutual natural attraction. "

Size dependent of course!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have far more success on Bumble, Tinder and Hinge than I do on Fab (purely because women/couples are inundated with messages as my email is a needle in a haystack OR I'm not what they're looking for at that moment).

Fab definitely needs a revamp or a feature that allows you to swipe yes/no SOLELY based on the preferences you're looking for.

Women/Couples don't want to be bogged down with messages/winks.

Men don't want the frustration of not being answered to.

You are right. Fab as a platform is very dated in terms of interaction but for £5 a month and all the home made videos who can complain especially the socially inept among us!

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

But will women be happier?"

Some will, some won't. I know a lot of women don't bother with the search function, or reaching out to men first, because they don't need to. They have a constant flow of messages to read, and they can just respond to the ones they like. So cutting that out will probably annoy a lot of women who don't want to change how they use the site. Obviously I don't know how many use it this way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s how it works for me anyway so it would not change much.

I rarely initiate the first message. And prefer to wait for women to contact me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it could be an option in the settings that single men could choose to only recieve messages and can only reply once message has been recieved, could show that some of us men are more genuine and prepared to wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumble made no bloody difference for me when I was on it but whatever.

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By *alty surpriseMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Totally agree with the op..I'm on bumble ...yet with the women messaging first ,it makes so much difference as they aren't inundated and out off by the weirdos,so the genuine ones stand a chance

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Fab definitely needs a revamp or a feature that allows you to swipe yes/no SOLELY based on the preferences you're looking for.

Women/Couples don't want to be bogged down with messages/winks.

Men don't want the frustration of not being answered to.

Oh I'm glad someone with some intellect has replied back. It's interesting to hear how many men say they have more success using other social media or in real life.

Personally, I love for fab to offer this swiping option where only people I am matched messages me if I switch off males can message first option. The current system of searching is more labourous where the profile photos are tiny in comparison. Plus I only can search for male profiles that been active whilst I am online so my choice is limited. I have tried in the past this method and felt my choice was too limited. All I know the current system isn't really working for everyone. Sounds like only handful of people have success.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Totally agree with the op..I'm on bumble ...yet with the women messaging first ,it makes so much difference as they aren't inundated and out off by the weirdos,so the genuine ones stand a chance "

Are you more successful using that system than on fab?

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By *hilliplisa790Couple
over a year ago

Paignton

I think it would destroy the site, the whole point of fab is connecting like minded people, if you deny men from making the first move then you are reducing the opportunity. Just delete messages who don’t appeal to you and move on but don’t restrict the chances

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

It would be worse as a lot of women on here wouldn't send a first message.Plus it is not just men who are abusive in messages on here or just men who send crap first messages.

So no the site should be worse off if that was the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would couples who don’t meet women do?

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By *alty surpriseMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"Totally agree with the op..I'm on bumble ...yet with the women messaging first ,it makes so much difference as they aren't inundated and out off by the weirdos,so the genuine ones stand a chance

Are you more successful using that system than on fab?"
I seem to be ,but with bumble as I travel with work ,they think I'm local to them

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Totally agree with the op..I'm on bumble ...yet with the women messaging first ,it makes so much difference as they aren't inundated and out off by the weirdos,so the genuine ones stand a chance "

On here if women don't want to be inundated they done have to be.That is what filters are for. In fact if they want to use to site where they are the ones to message first they can so just that by blocking males from messaging them so they have to make first contact.

The excuse that others ruin it for genuine guys is just an excuse as well.If you're not getting replies it's because they aren't interested in you due to the message, profile or maybe they are just not in the form to reply at that time.

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By *ames_SoloMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Fab definitely needs a revamp or a feature that allows you to swipe yes/no SOLELY based on the preferences you're looking for.

Women/Couples don't want to be bogged down with messages/winks.

Men don't want the frustration of not being answered to.

You are right. Fab as a platform is very dated in terms of interaction but for £5 a month and all the home made videos who can complain especially the socially inept among us!"

Agreed on that front

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Would fab be better for men or worse if it was only the women who can initiate the conversations? Would there be more active single women online?"

Yes, probably

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would fab be better for men or worse if it was only the women who can initiate the conversations? Would there be more active single women online?

Yes, probably

Fab is, whether you agree or not, a recreational sex site where, supposedly, adults meet for mutual pleasure. If you start putting rules that give preferential rights to certain sections of the community then the whole object of the intention is somewhat pointless.

If you are a single lady or chap and don’t wish to be the subject of an initial approach just use the filters. It really is that simple.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

You would rapidly deplete the pool, and it would become a place full of people who are virtually identical. Just my viewpoint

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