FabSwingers.com forum: Advice sought from couples

By *igvapid OP Man
over a year ago

St Marys

This is my first forum post – so apologies if this is in the wrong section.

I’m really interested to hear from couples specifically (although feel free to jump in if you have something to add) in response to this question, as I genuinely want to change and improve whatever I’m getting wrong here.

Although my profile is quite a bit older (for perving purposes!), I’ve only become a supporter and posted pics and a bio in the last few weeks. In that time I have messaged 3 ladies. I had replies back from all three, met one within a couple of hours and have open invitations from the other two for whenever circumstances allow. I have also messaged six couples; one deleted my message (which is absolutely fine), whilst the other five have read my message and neither replied nor deleted.

I have taken all the advice I can find on this forum to differentiate myself from the dick-pic brigade – carefully considered compatibility and wishes of the couples’ profiles, not pestered, sent a face pic and a well written, intelligent and clear message.

I want to be clear that I do not want this to be a whining post along the lines of ‘why won’t couples meet me’ – I’m a big boy now, I understand the world and am fine with the fact that people may not wish to meet me. However, receiving no response (deletion or reply) to a genuine and polite message is puzzling me. Single ladies receive mountains of unwanted and spammy messages, yet all three of my contacts sifted and replied.

Couples – is there something in my profile or approach which may be off-putting? Is a simple ‘no-thanks’ or a message deletion an unrealistic expectation if my message has been read (and sometimes my profile visited)? Can I do anything to improve my communications with couples in particular?

TIA

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Your profile is actually good as far as single males go, there maybe a few off putting things for couples, some don't do kissing so that may rule you out, but otherwise your profile looks great. Can't offer any constructive criticism.

Mrs

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

No reply is a polite "no thanks", it's in Fabs FAQs. We recently opened up our message filters to Men and our inbox got flooded. We haven't deleted the ones we didn't reply too but may in time, it's not a problem if they're still sat in our inbox. Your lack of verifications may put some off. You seem to be doing very well with single Ladies, so maybe that's the way forward and you'll be able to get some more veris.

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By *igvapid OP Man
over a year ago

St Marys

"Your profile is actually good as far as single males go, there maybe a few off putting things for couples, some don't do kissing so that may rule you out, but otherwise your profile looks great. Can't offer any constructive criticism.

Mrs "

Thanks. Good point about the kissing. I guess it’s a balance between honesty about my own likes & trying not to rule myself out!

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By *igvapid OP Man
over a year ago

St Marys

"No reply is a polite "no thanks", it's in Fabs FAQs. We recently opened up our message filters to Men and our inbox got flooded. We haven't deleted the ones we didn't reply too but may in time, it's not a problem if they're still sat in our inbox. Your lack of verifications may put some off. You seem to be doing very well with single Ladies, so maybe that's the way forward and you'll be able to get some more veris."

Thanks for your points. I have to admit I haven’t read the FAQs!! Best I go do that now…

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Replying to someone your not interested in leaves you open to abuse as a polite no thanks is rarely accepted at face value, it's usually met with abuse or them trying to change your mind & once you've replied, unless you block them they'll forever be able to override any filters you set

As to why it's been read and remains sitting in their inbox not replied to and not deleted, could be any number of reasons

Only one has seen the message and they want the other to see it too (not everyone checks fab daily/weekly)

For me I do that with messages where I might be interested but not right now, I won't reply because that always leads to constant messages & I don't want to be penpals so don't reply until I'm ready to meet

Could have simply forgotten to delete it

Might have read it and still deciding whether to reply or not

Do you see what I mean

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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago

London

I think your profile looks great actually…and extra brownie points for keeping your cock in your underwear!

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Can’t fault it at all. Then again, I reply to 95% of messages anyway, even if it’s a polite no thanks.

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By *evonNewbiesCouple
over a year ago

torquay

Definitely one of the better single men profiles down here in the south west

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In our case, sometimes messages stay in our inbox until we have both caught up on everything together, say for example Athena has been away or working and not been on Fab I will wait till she gets a chance to get up to speed with everything and vice versa… also, couples get more messages off couples than single women and those four way conversations have a much more in depth and longer format to them as you have to iron out the likes dislikes and everything else of four people… which can be complex lol… in our case if we have a couple we are talking to, everything else takes backstage otherwise we will just end up confusing ourselves with who is who and who likes what etc

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By *igvapid OP Man
over a year ago

St Marys

"Replying to someone your not interested in leaves you open to abuse as a polite no thanks is rarely accepted at face value, it's usually met with abuse or them trying to change your mind & once you've replied, unless you block them they'll forever be able to override any filters you set

As to why it's been read and remains sitting in their inbox not replied to and not deleted, could be any number of reasons

Only one has seen the message and they want the other to see it too (not everyone checks fab daily/weekly)

Could have simply forgotten to delete it

Might have read it and still deciding whether to reply or not

Do you see what I mean

I do see what you mean. Thanks for the insight.

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By *igvapid OP Man
over a year ago

St Marys

"I think your profile looks great actually…and extra brownie points for keeping your cock in your underwear!

Thanks!

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By *ew ChapterCouple
over a year ago

Redruth

Tbh it's a good profile for a single man,and I don't think anyone would be put of..sometimes we read messages and the other will read and make a decision (can take a few days depending what we are doing)

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

In fairness it’s a nice profile. Well written, classy pictures and nothing I dislike!

A couple of things I’m not sure if if they have.

We get a lot of messages, we have a general rule now as we used to spend hours trying to reply, if it’s obvious you haven’t read the profile then you don’t get a reply.

Generally if it’s clear you have read the profile, match what I like in a guy ( written on profile) then you would get a reply. Often one of us might read it and then wait for the other to read, if there is a load then it might take a while. So it could be just they haven’t sat down together and gone through them yet!

Also couples are harder to please. You have to be someone both are happy to be with. It’s also going to be a numbers game to a degree… more you message more responses you will get

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Great pictures, good write up. What would stop us from meeting you (apart from we're too old

) is your use of the word 'sharing'. I'm not a bag of sweets. Now this probably wouldn't put others off so may not be significant.

The other thing to consider is that both need to be happy and if a guy feels slightly threatened...

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By *igvapid OP Man
over a year ago

St Marys

Thank you everyone for your positive insights and input. It’s given me a much better perspective on how things work from a couples side of things. I probably need to be more patient!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with us couples is you have to impress both of us. I can’t see any problems with your profile but I think that with a lot and then show my wife and she says no.

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