FabSwingers.com forum: Turning up to a meet empty handed

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Yay or nay?

I mean isn't it just manners to turn up with a bottle of wine or some chocolates?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If we're guests in someone's home we take something. If we're meeting elsewhere we don't

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

We don't expect anything and so far not been disappointed lol.

Don't think it's up to guy to bring anything as let's face it not really going to sit down to a meal or anything.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"We don't expect anything and so far not been disappointed lol.

Don't think it's up to guy to bring anything as let's face it not really going to sit down to a meal or anything. "

No but nothing wrong with being a gentleman.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I don't think it's bad manners to turn up empty-handed. We wouldn't do it, but I'm not fussed when someone else does.

It's not like we're hosting a dinner party!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

If I'm meeting a single lady at hers and we get on or have met before I often ask shall I bring anything , wine , nibbles etc

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'd find it wierd if a meet turned up with chocolates to be honest, unless it's an occasion I wouldn't expect anything.

Mrs

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

We'd be very freaked out if a guy turned up with anything like that! That's like dating behaviour!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

"We'd be very freaked out if a guy turned up with anything like that! That's like dating behaviour! "

Completely agree

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

If i met a woman for a date here or anywhere for that matter id gladly pay for the whole date but id not turn up with chocolates or flowers etc, as theyd just get in the way carrying them around all night

Someone's home then i always ask is there anything i can bring then bring it

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it could be considered polite turning up with a gift of such for the host, though also could be considered to be a bribe, of sorts.

I don't find it ill mannered to turn up empty handed.

Maybe best to ask ahead what they drink and maybe suggest you'll take a bottle.

That is if they are hosting, I mean have you seen the price of gas and electric now

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its evening and you've ascertained they want a drink then wine is fine. Chocolates are weird, a dozen red roses is worse

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

does turning up with your cock in you hand count?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *risky FoxesCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle Emlyn/Stourport

I’m always open to a packet of love hearts

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *..WillowCouple
over a year ago

East Lincs

We don't host at home anymore but all we would expect is bring their own condoms. But 95% never did.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't host at home anymore but all we would expect is bring their own condoms. But 95% never did."

Yes, I keep my own supply but maybe only had one cpl/lone male meet where they actually had their own

tight fuckers

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *..WillowCouple
over a year ago

East Lincs

"We don't host at home anymore but all we would expect is bring their own condoms. But 95% never did.

Yes we did the same always had a supply in the toy box

Yes, I keep my own supply but maybe only had one cpl/lone male meet where they actually had their own

tight fuckers "

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't host at home anymore but all we would expect is bring their own condoms. But 95% never did.

Yes, I keep my own supply but maybe only had one cpl/lone male meet where they actually had their own

tight fuckers "

The blank stare when you say where are your condoms?! What did you think was gonna happen?!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

On a random, one off meet? We wouldn't expect anything as a 'gift' bar the company we've arranged.

Nor would we take anything ourselves.

For a repeat meet with what we'd class as friends? Yep - we'd probably take a bottle but nothing else.

This isn't dating, it's never expected to give or receive anything and there'd be a worry that any attempt to give us anything would raise the expectations as to what may happen on the part of the other party, almost like some sort of bribe.

I understand if people are attending a house or private party that it's more expected you may be asked to bring a bottle or some snacks, but can't think of any other scenario where it should ever be expected.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

"We don't host at home anymore but all we would expect is bring their own condoms. But 95% never did.

Yes, I keep my own supply but maybe only had one cpl/lone male meet where they actually had their own

tight fuckers

The blank stare when you say where are your condoms?! What did you think was gonna happen?!

I'd always insist using my own condoms, at least I know they're in date and not tampered with .

Totally agree with people above, a meet turning up with chocolates or wine without asking first would be a bit odd

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *BWarksCouple
over a year ago

warwick

We’d think it was good manners for single guys to turn up with a bottle of fizz at least

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't show up with anything, nor expect anything.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ecret_Passion777Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Yay or nay?

I mean isn't it just manners to turn up with a bottle of wine or some chocolates?

Mr "

You’re not on a fucking date!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *helroyCouple
over a year ago

Skegness

had a meet with a guy he dint have any money on him for a drink lets just say there was no 2nd meet

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"had a meet with a guy he dint have any money on him for a drink lets just say there was no 2nd meet "

Oh, yep I mean I'd expect to pay for my own cuppa/booze on a social. I'd probably offer to get their's too if I was ordering. But I'd draw the line at paying for their bus home

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I *am* the gift

LvM

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"had a meet with a guy he dint have any money on him for a drink lets just say there was no 2nd meet "

I met a lady , she suggested we walk to the corner shop and get a bottle of wine ...she didn't have any money...it got worse ...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Yay or nay?

I mean isn't it just manners to turn up with a bottle of wine or some chocolates?

You’re not on a fucking date!"

Why so aggressive and rude??

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

Are ladies offended if i insist paying for the 1st date but im willing to go dutch if theres a 2nd?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

A man once bought me flowers, chocolates and wine which made me feel a bit embarrassed. Maybe if we had met before I would have felt more comfortable with this.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"A man once bought me flowers, chocolates and wine which made me feel a bit embarrassed. Maybe if we had met before I would have felt more comfortable with this."

During the date, did yous move from place to place or was this a at home meet?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"had a meet with a guy he dint have any money on him for a drink lets just say there was no 2nd meet

I met a lady , she suggested we walk to the corner shop and get a bottle of wine ...she didn't have any money...it got worse ..."

Go on...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I do things like help them move house or mend their windows. Go into business together selling antiques. Teach their kids computing and electronics. Assemble beds for them.

Mind you though, we don't fuck, we're just good friends who care about each others personal well being and have a good laugh together looking at weird cock pics on fab...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t care if someone turns up empty handed! I don’t really drink so it would be pointless!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"A man once bought me flowers, chocolates and wine which made me feel a bit embarrassed. Maybe if we had met before I would have felt more comfortable with this.

During the date, did yous move from place to place or was this a at home meet? "

He picked me up to go to his hotel.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

The only things we expect our guests to arrive with is a smile.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we'd talked about having glass of wine then yes, I'd take a bottle . I don't expect the host to cover the cost of everything. I wouldn't do flowers or chocolate though unless it was someone I knew well.

Pxx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d think it was good manners for single guys to turn up with a bottle of fizz at least "

Why just single guys?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"A man once bought me flowers, chocolates and wine which made me feel a bit embarrassed. Maybe if we had met before I would have felt more comfortable with this.

During the date, did yous move from place to place or was this a at home meet?

He picked me up to go to his hotel."

That's even more strange

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"If we're guests in someone's home we take something. If we're meeting elsewhere we don't "

This exactly

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"does turning up with your cock in you hand count? "

Unfortunately this is way too true for a lot of men on here...

I hate to say this but with some men, a meet here is no different from a bodily function...

So chocolates and flowers to the Urinal? They just cannot compute...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

If we are hosting we expect a bottle for the lady

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rmainman10Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I take a box of chocolate

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

As a single woman I'd feel it was a little creepy if a man turned up with chocolates on a meet, in fact it would put me on my guard straight away.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would find it more weird if they turned up with something. I guess it depends what sort of meet you're having. If it's come dine with me, a bottle of wine would be great, if you're meeting to fuck then condoms will suffice

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/09/22 22:51:31]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Does a packet if condoms count?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"If I'm meeting a single lady at hers and we get on or have met before I often ask shall I bring anything , wine , nibbles etc

Choccies are nice, but if there's a diabetic around, then maybe not.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does a packet if condoms count?

Absolutely

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *enatton2Couple
over a year ago

West Midlands

We’ve had guys show up without condoms, so we don’t expect gifts lol

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Does a packet if condoms count?

Yes! Safe sex beats zero sex every time.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't host at home anymore but all we would expect is bring their own condoms. But 95% never did.

Yes, I keep my own supply but maybe only had one cpl/lone male meet where they actually had their own

tight fuckers

The blank stare when you say where are your condoms?! What did you think was gonna happen?!

I'd always insist using my own condoms, at least I know they're in date and not tampered with .

Totally agree with people above, a meet turning up with chocolates or wine without asking first would be a bit odd"

Practical if a little dry.........no pun intended!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’ve had guys show up without condoms, so we don’t expect gifts lol"

Perhaps they were Greeks........bearing gifts?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I've yet to have anyone turn up with anything... Maybe I'm doing it wrong!

I've turned up to socials with bakes and plant cuttings before though.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rmainman10Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"As a single woman I'd feel it was a little creepy if a man turned up with chocolates on a meet, in fact it would put me on my guard straight away. "

I do ask the person before the meet... What's their fav chocolate lol

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

My charming smile and the twinkle in my eye should be enough.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've yet to have anyone turn up with anything... Maybe I'm doing it wrong!

I've turned up to socials with bakes and plant cuttings before though. "

MR you are a gift in any event!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our last hosts probably would have been overjoyed with us turning up with at least something to drink. Especially when they realised how much of a dent I was going to leave on their rum collection. MrandMrs1 fantastic hosts x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our last hosts probably would have been overjoyed with us turning up with at least something to drink. Especially when they realised how much of a dent I was going to leave on their rum collection. MrandMrs1 fantastic hosts x"

Class!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x"

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"We don't host at home anymore but all we would expect is bring their own condoms. But 95% never did.

Yes, I keep my own supply but maybe only had one cpl/lone male meet where they actually had their own

tight fuckers

The blank stare when you say where are your condoms?! What did you think was gonna happen?!

I'd always insist using my own condoms, at least I know they're in date and not tampered with .

Totally agree with people above, a meet turning up with chocolates or wine without asking first would be a bit odd"

No offence but I wouldn’t be using a condom offered by someone else. They aren’t a one size fits all deal. Some guys make do but that’s on them. Im very thick and if I’m not using one that fits I’m not going to be doing anything.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?"

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

Usually some flowers and chocolates on a first meet

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *itsAndTaffCouple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

If I'm inviting someone into my home I would never expect anyone to bring anything, if I'm hosting I'm providing whatever necessary for them to face and enjoyable visit

That said I'd never visit someone's empty handed

But I genuinely don't think twice if they turn up at mine empty handed as like I said I'm hosting

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date. "

Sounds like a date to me

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"Usually some flowers and chocolates on a first meet "

Flowers and chocolates are for dates not fab meets. It would come across as creepy to me but we are all different I suppose.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Usually some flowers and chocolates on a first meet

Flowers and chocolates are for dates not fab meets. It would come across as creepy to me but we are all different I suppose. "

This whole mindset is baffling.

Flowers and chocolates creepy.

But letting a complete stranger come in and fuck the shit out of you is perfectly fine!

Look I have intentionally let this thread run to see what people say without much in the way of input.

Firstly.

I disagree it is a date, your meeting someone at an agreed time and place a "date" yes you are not looking for a relationship, however from what I can make out there's many many on here who are looking for a relationship so fucking or sitting and having a glass of wine and a chat what's the difference ?

It's interaction with another.

Second.

The wine or chocs are purely a thing to share before during or after the meet, not a huge bouquet of flowers.

Just something to drink, something to eat,if we are entering I usually get in a few beers if it's a guy coming over maybe some crisps or snacks.

I know many who like to indulge in cake after meets it's been said many times by many people.

So why people are getting their knickers in a twist over brining a bottle of wine or some snacks if it's someone your going to be extremely intimate with,I have no idea.

Clearly manners are a thing of the past for many.

But being a good host doesn't mean creepy and nor should being a good guest.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually bring some French soaps

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Usually some flowers and chocolates on a first meet

Flowers and chocolates are for dates not fab meets. It would come across as creepy to me but we are all different I suppose.

This whole mindset is baffling.

Flowers and chocolates creepy.

But letting a complete stranger come in and fuck the shit out of you is perfectly fine!

Look I have intentionally let this thread run to see what people say without much in the way of input.

Firstly.

It's interaction with another.

Second.

The wine or chocs are purely a thing to share before during or after the meet, not a huge bouquet of flowers.

Just something to drink, something to eat,if we are entering I usually get in a few beers if it's a guy coming over maybe some crisps or snacks.

I know many who like to indulge in cake after meets it's been said many times by many people.

So why people are getting their knickers in a twist over brining a bottle of wine or some snacks if it's someone your going to be extremely intimate with,I have no idea.

Clearly manners are a thing of the past for many.

But being a good host doesn't mean creepy and nor should being a good guest.

Entertaining

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to be a good host :

A good meal or take away , bottle of Prosecco something or something , Lindts, plenty food n snacks , bake a cake , yeah …

I usually accommodate but If I go out depends , if she fancies a drink I ask what she may want from the shops …

I usually ask if she would like me to buy an ice cream or something

As u on way there may as well …

Not sure if ice lollies is the best thing for first socials …

I think I would may struggle with concentrating in the conversation

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I turn up empty hand I don’t feel bad

Cause I will always turn up with a full pocket

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"If we are hosting we expect a bottle for the lady"

Sweet sherry or Babycham?

Gbat

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

Sounds like a date to me"

Well then if you’re meets on here are like dates it’s fairly obvious you’re not a swinger

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *averockrockMan
over a year ago

swindon

I always bring a bottle of prosecco or whine just in case, to break the ice

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not come dine with me

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *amesB66Man
over a year ago

St Peter Port

"Yay or nay?

I mean isn't it just manners to turn up with a bottle of wine or some chocolates?

Mr "

Were I to meet you at your home, then wine or flowers would be reasonable, but anywhere else, then probably not, unless I knew and your likes, very well.

Enjoy your Sunday

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

Sounds like a date to me

Well then if you’re meets on here are like dates it’s fairly obvious you’re not a swinger"

Why is it fairly obvious?

Friday, I met a single lady for late lunch. I met her in the car park of a country pub we ate drank and chatted for nigh on three hours in the autumnal sunshine. We left at gone 6pm and have arranged to meet again this week.

I think that a social meeting to establish connectivity and confirmation of we are who we said we is pretty normal in this day and age don’t you think? That to me is a date!

Now if we end up naked in bed I would call that a fun date! If that’s not swinging then so be it?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

Sounds like a date to me

Well then if you’re meets on here are like dates it’s fairly obvious you’re not a swinger

Why is it fairly obvious?

I think that a social meeting to establish connectivity and confirmation of we are who we said we is pretty normal in this day and age don’t you think? That to me is a date!

Now if we end up naked in bed I would call that a fun date! If that’s not swinging then so be it?"

A date requires different intent. What you’ve described is a meeting a friend for lunch. Unless your intent is to DATE said lady then you’re not on a date.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *IG G77Man
over a year ago

GATLEY

If it's to someones house I take a gift

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

Sounds like a date to me

Well then if you’re meets on here are like dates it’s fairly obvious you’re not a swinger

Why is it fairly obvious?

I think that a social meeting to establish connectivity and confirmation of we are who we said we is pretty normal in this day and age don’t you think? That to me is a date!

Now if we end up naked in bed I would call that a fun date! If that’s not swinging then so be it?

A date requires different intent. What you’ve described is a meeting a friend for lunch. Unless your intent is to DATE said lady then you’re not on a date. "

Still non the wiser and I think you’re being pedantic.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"Usually some flowers and chocolates on a first meet

Flowers and chocolates are for dates not fab meets. It would come across as creepy to me but we are all different I suppose.

This whole mindset is baffling.

Flowers and chocolates creepy.

But letting a complete stranger come in and fuck the shit out of you is perfectly fine!

Look I have intentionally let this thread run to see what people say without much in the way of input.

Firstly.

It's interaction with another.

Second.

The wine or chocs are purely a thing to share before during or after the meet, not a huge bouquet of flowers.

Just something to drink, something to eat,if we are entering I usually get in a few beers if it's a guy coming over maybe some crisps or snacks.

I know many who like to indulge in cake after meets it's been said many times by many people.

So why people are getting their knickers in a twist over brining a bottle of wine or some snacks if it's someone your going to be extremely intimate with,I have no idea.

Clearly manners are a thing of the past for many.

But being a good host doesn't mean creepy and nor should being a good guest.

Maybe because my meets are about sex..... not sitting and sharing a drink and a snack.

You are talking about an actual "date".

Most swingers will maybe have a drink to break the ice but they don't tend to sit around for hours chatting and eating snacks.

I would seriously reconsider if a guy turned up on a first meet with flowers and chocolates as that is really not what I'm looking for.

If I meet someone in a pub for a social I don't even let him buy me a drink.

I don't want to feel like I owe him anything.

Maybe it sounds odd but I have met for socials before and been given chocolates and bought drinks only to be told later when I didn't feel we connected that as he'd spent money on me I should be up for sleeping with him.

I don't allow that to happen anymore.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

Sounds like a date to me

Well then if you’re meets on here are like dates it’s fairly obvious you’re not a swinger

Why is it fairly obvious?

I think that a social meeting to establish connectivity and confirmation of we are who we said we is pretty normal in this day and age don’t you think? That to me is a date!

Now if we end up naked in bed I would call that a fun date! If that’s not swinging then so be it?

A date requires different intent. What you’ve described is a meeting a friend for lunch. Unless your intent is to DATE said lady then you’re not on a date.

Still non the wiser and I think you’re being pedantic."

Semantics are literally what this conversation are about. So when discussing semantics it’s not pedantic to talk about intent.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Usually some flowers and chocolates on a first meet

Flowers and chocolates are for dates not fab meets. It would come across as creepy to me but we are all different I suppose.

This whole mindset is baffling.

Flowers and chocolates creepy.

But letting a complete stranger come in and fuck the shit out of you is perfectly fine!

Look I have intentionally let this thread run to see what people say without much in the way of input.

Firstly.

It's interaction with another.

Second.

The wine or chocs are purely a thing to share before during or after the meet, not a huge bouquet of flowers.

Just something to drink, something to eat,if we are entering I usually get in a few beers if it's a guy coming over maybe some crisps or snacks.

I know many who like to indulge in cake after meets it's been said many times by many people.

So why people are getting their knickers in a twist over brining a bottle of wine or some snacks if it's someone your going to be extremely intimate with,I have no idea.

Clearly manners are a thing of the past for many.

But being a good host doesn't mean creepy and nor should being a good guest.

Maybe because my meets are about sex..... not sitting and sharing a drink and a snack.

You are talking about an actual "date".

Most swingers will maybe have a drink to break the ice but they don't tend to sit around for hours chatting and eating snacks.

I would seriously reconsider if a guy turned up on a first meet with flowers and chocolates as that is really not what I'm looking for.

If I meet someone in a pub for a social I don't even let him buy me a drink.

I don't want to feel like I owe him anything.

I don't allow that to happen anymore. "

Perhaps I don’t care much for the clinical aspect you describe as your modus operandi.

A little communication flirty banter over a glass of wine on a beautiful autumnal afternoon. Perhaps I am old school and mechanical sex is not my gig?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"Usually some flowers and chocolates on a first meet

Flowers and chocolates are for dates not fab meets. It would come across as creepy to me but we are all different I suppose.

This whole mindset is baffling.

Flowers and chocolates creepy.

But letting a complete stranger come in and fuck the shit out of you is perfectly fine!

Look I have intentionally let this thread run to see what people say without much in the way of input.

Firstly.

It's interaction with another.

Second.

The wine or chocs are purely a thing to share before during or after the meet, not a huge bouquet of flowers.

Just something to drink, something to eat,if we are entering I usually get in a few beers if it's a guy coming over maybe some crisps or snacks.

I know many who like to indulge in cake after meets it's been said many times by many people.

So why people are getting their knickers in a twist over brining a bottle of wine or some snacks if it's someone your going to be extremely intimate with,I have no idea.

Clearly manners are a thing of the past for many.

But being a good host doesn't mean creepy and nor should being a good guest.

Maybe because my meets are about sex..... not sitting and sharing a drink and a snack.

You are talking about an actual "date".

Most swingers will maybe have a drink to break the ice but they don't tend to sit around for hours chatting and eating snacks.

I would seriously reconsider if a guy turned up on a first meet with flowers and chocolates as that is really not what I'm looking for.

If I meet someone in a pub for a social I don't even let him buy me a drink.

I don't want to feel like I owe him anything.

I don't allow that to happen anymore.

Perhaps I don’t care much for the clinical aspect you describe as your modus operandi.

A little communication flirty banter over a glass of wine on a beautiful autumnal afternoon. Perhaps I am old school and mechanical sex is not my gig?"

That still isn’t a date unless your intent is to DATE the woman. If not it’s just a social event. A meet up. As I said. It’s semantics. That’s all. Intent is the driving force behind these differences.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

Sounds like a date to me

Well then if you’re meets on here are like dates it’s fairly obvious you’re not a swinger

Why is it fairly obvious?

I think that a social meeting to establish connectivity and confirmation of we are who we said we is pretty normal in this day and age don’t you think? That to me is a date!

Now if we end up naked in bed I would call that a fun date! If that’s not swinging then so be it?

A date requires different intent. What you’ve described is a meeting a friend for lunch. Unless your intent is to DATE said lady then you’re not on a date.

Still non the wiser and I think you’re being pedantic.

Semantics are literally what this conversation are about. So when discussing semantics it’s not pedantic to talk about intent. "

Can you discuss semantics?

In any event you were questioning my intent as a real swinger!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

Sounds like a date to me

Well then if you’re meets on here are like dates it’s fairly obvious you’re not a swinger

Why is it fairly obvious?

I think that a social meeting to establish connectivity and confirmation of we are who we said we is pretty normal in this day and age don’t you think? That to me is a date!

Now if we end up naked in bed I would call that a fun date! If that’s not swinging then so be it?

A date requires different intent. What you’ve described is a meeting a friend for lunch. Unless your intent is to DATE said lady then you’re not on a date.

Still non the wiser and I think you’re being pedantic.

Semantics are literally what this conversation are about. So when discussing semantics it’s not pedantic to talk about intent.

Can you discuss semantics?

In any event you were questioning my intent as a real swinger!"

Because you’re calling it a date which it isn’t unless your intent is to date said person you’re meeting with. It’s not overly difficult.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Usually some flowers and chocolates on a first meet

Flowers and chocolates are for dates not fab meets. It would come across as creepy to me but we are all different I suppose.

This whole mindset is baffling.

Flowers and chocolates creepy.

But letting a complete stranger come in and fuck the shit out of you is perfectly fine!

Look I have intentionally let this thread run to see what people say without much in the way of input.

Firstly.

It's interaction with another.

Second.

The wine or chocs are purely a thing to share before during or after the meet, not a huge bouquet of flowers.

Just something to drink, something to eat,if we are entering I usually get in a few beers if it's a guy coming over maybe some crisps or snacks.

I know many who like to indulge in cake after meets it's been said many times by many people.

So why people are getting their knickers in a twist over brining a bottle of wine or some snacks if it's someone your going to be extremely intimate with,I have no idea.

Clearly manners are a thing of the past for many.

But being a good host doesn't mean creepy and nor should being a good guest.

Maybe because my meets are about sex..... not sitting and sharing a drink and a snack.

You are talking about an actual "date".

Most swingers will maybe have a drink to break the ice but they don't tend to sit around for hours chatting and eating snacks.

I would seriously reconsider if a guy turned up on a first meet with flowers and chocolates as that is really not what I'm looking for.

If I meet someone in a pub for a social I don't even let him buy me a drink.

I don't want to feel like I owe him anything.

I don't allow that to happen anymore.

Perhaps I don’t care much for the clinical aspect you describe as your modus operandi.

A little communication flirty banter over a glass of wine on a beautiful autumnal afternoon. Perhaps I am old school and mechanical sex is not my gig?

Ok ok I give in my assignation with a rather attractive lady was a social engagement prior to meeting for recreational sex. Is that better? Does that make me a real swing type chap?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d think it was good manners for single guys to turn up with a bottle of fizz at least "

Totally agree

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d not want anyone to bring anything other than themselves. We are inviting them over and hosting. This isn’t a date x

It’s not a date? What would you call it?

A meet, a gathering, a social event, an orgy, sex, hanging out… whatever you’d like. It’s just not a date.

Sounds like a date to me

Well then if you’re meets on here are like dates it’s fairly obvious you’re not a swinger

Why is it fairly obvious?

I think that a social meeting to establish connectivity and confirmation of we are who we said we is pretty normal in this day and age don’t you think? That to me is a date!

Now if we end up naked in bed I would call that a fun date! If that’s not swinging then so be it?

A date requires different intent. What you’ve described is a meeting a friend for lunch. Unless your intent is to DATE said lady then you’re not on a date.

Still non the wiser and I think you’re being pedantic.

Semantics are literally what this conversation are about. So when discussing semantics it’s not pedantic to talk about intent.

Can you discuss semantics?

In any event you were questioning my intent as a real swinger!

Because you’re calling it a date which it isn’t unless your intent is to date said person you’re meeting with. It’s not overly difficult. "

No it’s not overly difficult but why are you so angst about my diction?

Let’s agree to call my rendezvous a

Delightful Assignation To Engage and leave it at that?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *g and funnyCouple
over a year ago

Clacton

All we want someone to bring when they turn up is a happy attitude and condoms.

Anyone just turning up with chocolates and/or wine, beer etc we would consider creepy.

Has nothing to do with "being polite" or "having good manners"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would turning up with my toothbrush and pyjamas be acceptable?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago

Sent to Coventry

I take a bottle of wine if they are providing dinner for me, otherwise I bring and expect nothing.

(Like others have said I always have condoms )

Having said that a guy bought a cactus for me as a gift recently. It made me laugh, so was much appreciated

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"All we want someone to bring when they turn up is a happy attitude and condoms.

Anyone just turning up with chocolates and/or wine, beer etc we would consider creepy.

Has nothing to do with "being polite" or "having good manners""

Why is it creepy, what aspect of it freak's you out so much?

I assume that a guy dressing nice and smelling good is also creepy, you know making the effort or do you prefer a guy to turn up a tracksuit and a smile, which obviously isn't creepy... apparently.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d think it was good manners for single guys to turn up with a bottle of fizz at least "

Why single guys? Why not couples or single women?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Yay or nay?

I mean isn't it just manners to turn up with a bottle of wine or some chocolates?

Mr "

No not unless having a drink etc. has be discussed beforehand. To show up with a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates suggests "I have brought you a payment, now you respond with the goods".

A meet is not a date and should never be approach as a date.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I would find it strange someone bringing a gift and abit cheesy tbh. It’s 2022 not 1960

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Under almost any circumstances if I'm invited to someone's house I take a small gift. I don't expect it from other people though. I wouldn't turn up to a social with something though

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never taken anything to a meet and never expected to receive anything either, nor received something.

It would make me feel a bit uneasy if someone bought a gift or a gesture of some kind. It would seem borderline romantic and would put me off.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *9Karm69Man
over a year ago

plymouth/chesterfield

"The only things we expect our guests to arrive with is a smile."

Arrive with manners and leave with smiles all round

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *g and funnyCouple
over a year ago

Clacton

[Removed by poster at 25/09/22 10:16:18]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *g and funnyCouple
over a year ago

Clacton

"All we want someone to bring when they turn up is a happy attitude and condoms.

Anyone just turning up with chocolates and/or wine, beer etc we would consider creepy.

Has nothing to do with "being polite" or "having good manners"

Why is it creepy, what aspect of it freak's you out so much?

I assume that a guy dressing nice and smelling good is also creepy, you know making the effort or do you prefer a guy to turn up a tracksuit and a smile, which obviously isn't creepy... apparently."

They are not visting on a romantic date, they are not visiting to have a social, they are turning up so we can all enjoy some adult fun.

Bringing wine or chocolates to a meet gives the air of over familiarity which we find creept.

It also adds an implied social contract to the meet, as a poster above said "I have brought you a payment, now you respond with the goods"

If we were out for a social meet, where during the night both parties would offer to buy a drink, thats fine. Its a mutual quid pro quo situation.

Just randomly turning up to our house carrying wine or a gift, no thanks.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

[Removed by poster at 25/09/22 10:17:43]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would turning up with my toothbrush and pyjamas be acceptable?"

I've took a toothbrush, and change of clothes or at least knickers if I've stayed overnight. I don't bother with the pj's though

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to have a chat with a little flirting before we fuck so we'd always turn up with a bottle of wine..

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted

Depends on how the meet/evening is billed beforehand. If a guy is turning up for a quick threesome no biggie although would think more of him if he asked. If a couple coming over for a drink before hands start wandering then yes a bit rude not to bring something and we would also take to somewhere else.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s apparent that what should be a relatively simple issue that being like minded adults meet for recreational sex, is burdened with all manner of rules, procedures and protocols.

This activity is supposed to be fun. By bring a bottle of wine or some other imbibe to assist with congeniality should not be viewed with suspicion or treated as an expectation payment. Good Heavens chill out!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We like to have a chat with a little flirting before we fuck so we'd always turn up with a bottle of wine.."
Exactly! Not how I would have articulated the point but succinct and to the point!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I have to say though that if someone turned up with gift wrapped jewellery I'd feel slightly uncomfortable

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"It’s apparent that what should be a relatively simple issue that being like minded adults meet for recreational sex, is burdened with all manner of rules, procedures and protocols.

But for a lot of men it is exactly what you say it isn't.

I've been in that situation where we met for a social he brought gifts, we didn't hit it off but when I said it wasn't working for me his response was he'd spent money so was entitled to some fun.

So yes for me gifts are creepy and suspicious.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say though that if someone turned up with gift wrapped jewellery I'd feel slightly uncomfortable

Or produces underwear they've brought from home for you to wear

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I always bring condoms to a meet.

No I don't expect things to happen but if it dis its better to be prepared

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s apparent that what should be a relatively simple issue that being like minded adults meet for recreational sex, is burdened with all manner of rules, procedures and protocols.

But for a lot of men it is exactly what you say it isn't.

I've been in that situation where we met for a social he brought gifts, we didn't hit it off but when I said it wasn't working for me his response was he'd spent money so was entitled to some fun.

So yes for me gifts are creepy and suspicious. "

Then you are clearly meeting the wrong type of men.

I have very few parameters for this side of my life but one is expect nothing and never take anything for granted.

Now my Friday assignation was pleasant cordial and very enjoyable. Nothing asked for nothing given, I paid for lunch as I am old school and it seemed the correct thing to do. Neither myself nor my date want a full on relationship just regular meetings of both a social and sexual nature. That was discussed in a friendly non aspirational environment.

I maybe nothing special and a trifle uncool but I simply cannot help it I am a romantic fool!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say though that if someone turned up with gift wrapped jewellery I'd feel slightly uncomfortable

Or produces underwear they've brought from home for you to wear

I can’t see you in a pair of Bart Simpson adorned M&S boxers somehow!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"It’s apparent that what should be a relatively simple issue that being like minded adults meet for recreational sex, is burdened with all manner of rules, procedures and protocols.

But for a lot of men it is exactly what you say it isn't.

I've been in that situation where we met for a social he brought gifts, we didn't hit it off but when I said it wasn't working for me his response was he'd spent money so was entitled to some fun.

So yes for me gifts are creepy and suspicious.

Then you are clearly meeting the wrong type of men.

I have very few parameters for this side of my life but one is expect nothing and never take anything for granted.

I maybe nothing special and a trifle uncool but I simply cannot help it I am a romantic fool!"

So basically you are saying it's my fault because the guy I met was an arse???

Thanks for that!

He was lovely on messages and phone calls but got pushy on the meet then said his gifts entitled him to something more.

It only happened once but has made me uncomfortable accepting anything from anyone.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say though that if someone turned up with gift wrapped jewellery I'd feel slightly uncomfortable

Or produces underwear they've brought from home for you to wear

I can’t see you in a pair of Bart Simpson adorned M&S boxers somehow!"

M&S you say?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hand on cock I turn up with protection because I care about my sexual health

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s apparent that what should be a relatively simple issue that being like minded adults meet for recreational sex, is burdened with all manner of rules, procedures and protocols.

But for a lot of men it is exactly what you say it isn't.

I've been in that situation where we met for a social he brought gifts, we didn't hit it off but when I said it wasn't working for me his response was he'd spent money so was entitled to some fun.

So yes for me gifts are creepy and suspicious.

Then you are clearly meeting the wrong type of men.

I have very few parameters for this side of my life but one is expect nothing and never take anything for granted.

I maybe nothing special and a trifle uncool but I simply cannot help it I am a romantic fool!

So basically you are saying it's my fault because the guy I met was an arse???

Thanks for that!

He was lovely on messages and phone calls but got pushy on the meet then said his gifts entitled him to something more.

It only happened once but has made me uncomfortable accepting anything from anyone. "

Dear me, I didn’t say it was your fault.

Anyone who thinks an inducement of any kind will secure favour is clearly being as you say, an arse.

Your hypothesis is that anyone who shows a degree of cordiality is seeking something in return that is not always the case. It seems one unfortunate incident has made you suspicious which saddens me but there it is!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say though that if someone turned up with gift wrapped jewellery I'd feel slightly uncomfortable

Or produces underwear they've brought from home for you to wear

I can’t see you in a pair of Bart Simpson adorned M&S boxers somehow!

M&S you say?

One is assuming your fellow protagonist was a chap and he brought you some of his underwear to clad you in?

Yes I saw the BART Simpson under pants and vest set in Marks autumn sale yesterday. Very catching it was too!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I've yet to have anyone turn up with anything... Maybe I'm doing it wrong!

I've turned up to socials with bakes and plant cuttings before though. "

Cake, you're never alone with cake at a social.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

We would alway ask if they wanted us to bring anything.

The vast majority will say - bring a bottle or just yourselves!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I have to say though that if someone turned up with gift wrapped jewellery I'd feel slightly uncomfortable

Or produces underwear they've brought from home for you to wear

And says these were my exes favourite then bursts into tears

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I have to say though that if someone turned up with gift wrapped jewellery I'd feel slightly uncomfortable

A pearl necklace perhaps?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I've yet to have anyone turn up with anything... Maybe I'm doing it wrong!

I've turned up to socials with bakes and plant cuttings before though.

Cake, you're never alone with cake at a social."

Don't pay for it though.. Could be a danger creepy sign.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Never once turned up to a meet at someone’s home with anything. Expectations (via communication) are always set prior, and i’m never going there to have dinner. Usually any food/drink has been had at a public “get to know you” meet beforehand.

Also i don’t drink alcohol so it would be doubly silly for me to bring a bottle of something i won’t partake in. If the couple (or lady) need to pre-game for some dutch courage prior to my arrival, then can do that on their own time and budget.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say though that if someone turned up with gift wrapped jewellery I'd feel slightly uncomfortable

Or produces underwear they've brought from home for you to wear

And says these were my exes favourite then bursts into tears

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

I find respect and manners attractive regardless if I'm dating or fucking..so if he brought something I'd appreciate it.

I'd think I'd not choose anyone who felt bring respectful automatically signalled dating when it's just fucking but I see some on fab don't consider respect since it's "just a fab person"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"I find respect and manners attractive regardless if I'm dating or fucking..so if he brought something I'd appreciate it.

I'd think I'd not choose anyone who felt bring respectful automatically signalled dating when it's just fucking but I see some on fab don't consider respect since it's "just a fab person""

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

We had a couple we met give us a nice present, husband didn't take part and then handed us the gift, like thank you for fucking my wife

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I find respect and manners attractive regardless if I'm dating or fucking..so if he brought something I'd appreciate it.

I'd think I'd not choose anyone who felt bring respectful automatically signalled dating when it's just fucking but I see some on fab don't consider respect since it's "just a fab person""

You can still respect a person if they come empty handed and you can still respect someone if you turn up empty handed. Fixed it for you

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ames_SoloMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'd bring a selection of Penguin bars, a 6-pack of Ribenas... And then we'd have a lovely old time!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

"I find respect and manners attractive regardless if I'm dating or fucking..so if he brought something I'd appreciate it.

I'd think I'd not choose anyone who felt bring respectful automatically signalled dating when it's just fucking but I see some on fab don't consider respect since it's "just a fab person"

You can still respect a person if they come empty handed and you can still respect someone if you turn up empty handed. Fixed it for you

It Didn't need fixed... those saying it felt as if bringing a gift was dating.. respect isn't exclusive to dating someone. Respect is respect regardless.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find some assumptions a bit silly….like bringing a bottle of wine when you don’t know a person’s circumstances.

I don’t even like wine so it would be pointless!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I find respect and manners attractive regardless if I'm dating or fucking..so if he brought something I'd appreciate it.

I'd think I'd not choose anyone who felt bring respectful automatically signalled dating when it's just fucking but I see some on fab don't consider respect since it's "just a fab person"

You can still respect a person if they come empty handed and you can still respect someone if you turn up empty handed. Fixed it for you

It Didn't need fixed... those saying it felt as if bringing a gift was dating.. respect isn't exclusive to dating someone. Respect is respect regardless. "

And those like yourself are entitled to their opinion. And sorry i may have misinterpreted your comment.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

No gifts... Condoms but no gifts lol... That would weird me out a bit

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *erlins5Man
over a year ago

South Fife

When I first started on fab I took chocolates to my first few meets. I was told it was a little weird so I stopped.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Would it be weird if I turned up with some blue knickers for you to wear?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they don’t bring ice cream their not coming in

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"If they don’t bring ice cream their not coming in

Any particular flavour or make.

(Asking for research purposes only).

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not manners. It's people meeting for sex.

Not prostitution.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd bring a selection of Penguin bars, a 6-pack of Ribenas... And then we'd have a lovely old time! "

This would be cool though.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No gifts... Condoms but no gifts lol... That would weird me out a bit

Maybe add some lube and batteries to that lol

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not manners. It's people meeting for sex.

Not prostitution.

So if a meeting was at a hotel and the residents want a contribution to the costs would that be acceptable?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"No it's not manners. It's people meeting for sex.

Not prostitution.

So if a meeting was at a hotel and the residents want a contribution to the costs would that be acceptable?"

You discuss that ahead of time. And the visitor is well within their rights to say no to such a request. Still not the same as bringing something tangible (and probably edible) to a meet, regardless of location.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not manners. It's people meeting for sex.

Not prostitution.

So if a meeting was at a hotel and the residents want a contribution to the costs would that be acceptable?

All very complicated!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"No it's not manners. It's people meeting for sex.

Not prostitution.

So if a meeting was at a hotel and the residents want a contribution to the costs would that be acceptable?

All very complicated!"

Buying a round of drinks in the bar?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *loudF7Man
over a year ago

South East

When I've had meets at a person's house, I always try and take a wine they enjoy, we may end up just having tea and chat but it's always polite to bring a gift I've found

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not manners. It's people meeting for sex.

Not prostitution.

You are no longer an outsider. Welcome to the community

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *romagefraisWoman
over a year ago

Sunderland

Definite nay. Far too much. I'd find that awkward af.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *asha86Couple
over a year ago

walsall

Weve had meets where someone has turned up with a bottle or two and then theres been times where weve had a laugh on the run up to a meet where we mentioned what cakes we all liked and as a joke the bought one along

but never do we expect anyone to bring anything if we invite you its for your company.... if you get me not for what you're bringing

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *orthernTruckerMan
over a year ago

Trucker (live in Newcastle)

If its a social meet out and about, I feel its its polite of me to offer to pay for 1st round if not 2nd as well (depending on how its going)

If its going to someone's house, even just for a cuppa, I tend to take sweets, cakes or biscuits.

I simply can not turn up empty handed, just the way I was bought up I guess

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it's to someones house I take a gift

If is a lady house I’ll take her dignity

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only things we expect our guests to arrive with is a smile.

Arrive with manners and leave with smiles all round "

And funny wobbly legs …

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We would alway ask if they wanted us to bring anything.

The vast majority will say - bring a bottle or just yourselves! "

Yeah … that’s it , you arrange what is gonna happen

Wine ? Why not ?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know every lady is beautiful and has a gift

So I don’t worry to much ^^

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"If its a social meet out and about, I feel its its polite of me to offer to pay for 1st round if not 2nd as well (depending on how its going)

If its going to someone's house, even just for a cuppa, I tend to take sweets, cakes or biscuits.

I simply can not turn up empty handed, just the way I was bought up I guess

So you’re bringing sweets, cakes or biscuits to someone’s house who may turn out to be heavily dieting, diabetic or just doesn’t want them in the house. (I know best to have this conversation first but let’s be honest you’ve not asked and you’re going for the surprise as you’re being polite)

Or you’ll bring wine or Prosecco but they don’t drink wine or Prosecco. Maybe they don’t drink at all and frankly are off put by this.

Simply turning up as agreed with nothing is the best option unless you’ve asked beforehand to say can I bring anything. It’s not impolite, it’s not rude, it’s not poor manners.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never expect a guy to bring anything but themselves!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its a fuck meet, condoms.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By * New YorkieMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I always bring a bottle of bubbly to the partys I get invited too.. A bottle of wine to a couples meet for a 3sum.. Always do that.. I try to make an effort..

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I always bring a bottle of bubbly to the partys I get invited too.. A bottle of wine to a couples meet for a 3sum.. Always do that.. I try to make an effort.."

Do any of them go "oh no... Now I feel obliged to prostitute myself to you even though I'd rather watch celebrity love Island"?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always take condoms. Depends on the nature of the meet. I’ve taken wine when it was clear it was a dinner and drinks type of evening before any fun would be going down. But the last time I had that kind of a meet was like 2016

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"We’d think it was good manners for single guys to turn up with a bottle of fizz at least "
Tizer ok?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

It would be a no from me. I would find it very strange if a guy showed up with a gift when we were meeting. It actually would make me feel uncomfortable especially on a first social meet.

As long as they show up and are who they say they are on their profile and from their chats that's the main thing as far as I'm concerned .On future meets I do expect them to bring condoms though. I do bring my own as well but I think it's both of our responsibility to bring them.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’d think it was good manners for single guys to turn up with a bottle of fizz at least Tizer ok?

I usually take Irn Bru to set the scene

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"We'd be very freaked out if a guy turned up with anything like that! That's like dating behaviour! "

Exactly.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be a no from me. I would find it very strange if a guy showed up with a gift when we were meeting. It actually would make me feel uncomfortable especially on a first social meet.

So a chap turns up to a meeting with a bottle of wine that would make you feel uncomfortable?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ueenmalaysia9TV/TS
over a year ago

islington

Personally i dont expect anything…but i think its uncouth to not even ask if you should bring something before turning up to someones house, especially if you’re expecting a fuck out of it LOL

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"It would be a no from me. I would find it very strange if a guy showed up with a gift when we were meeting. It actually would make me feel uncomfortable especially on a first social meet.

So a chap turns up to a meeting with a bottle of wine that would make you feel uncomfortable?"

Yeah but a cock up the arse is just fine.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be a no from me. I would find it very strange if a guy showed up with a gift when we were meeting. It actually would make me feel uncomfortable especially on a first social meet.

So a chap turns up to a meeting with a bottle of wine that would make you feel uncomfortable?

Yeah but a cock up the arse is just fine. "

Not how I would of put it but I get where you’re coming from with this comparator!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *nfinitylandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Yeah turning up with gifts would be a bit weird, I wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

But the woman could also act like a lady, and bring something. Why's it always fall on the guy being a gentleman don't we take the fall for everything

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Taking out sexist expectations, remnants from the relic of romantic dating etc, leaves us within the no strings attached arena. No requirements other than what is mutually agreed between the parties.

If it's a social get together, with sharing of mutual assets, then people MAY choose to bring something along. If in a bar etc, then you may alternate buying of rounds. But social conventions are just that - nothing is proscribed and we each do what is right for us. And we can communicate, so that there's reciprocal matching of our preferences.

Men should not be disproportionately imposed upon to fund others. as happens somewhat in clubs.

It's not dating, to woo someone, etc or where in antiquity, someone is expected to demonstrate himself as a potential provider.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"It would be a no from me. I would find it very strange if a guy showed up with a gift when we were meeting. It actually would make me feel uncomfortable especially on a first social meet.

So a chap turns up to a meeting with a bottle of wine that would make you feel uncomfortable?"

Yes because I don't expect or want gifts from people off here.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *nlyfunsMan
over a year ago

Everytime we have met someone they either bought a bottle or we met at a bar and they contributed to the rounds..

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"It would be a no from me. I would find it very strange if a guy showed up with a gift when we were meeting. It actually would make me feel uncomfortable especially on a first social meet.

So a chap turns up to a meeting with a bottle of wine that would make you feel uncomfortable?

Yeah but a cock up the arse is just fine. "

Grow up,what a sad and pathetic comment to make to anyone on here . And actually not that it's any of your business no that would not be happening either.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It would be a no from me. I would find it very strange if a guy showed up with a gift when we were meeting. It actually would make me feel uncomfortable especially on a first social meet.

So a chap turns up to a meeting with a bottle of wine that would make you feel uncomfortable?

Yeah but a cock up the arse is just fine. "

Yes, because that's what I've agreed to. Hope this helps

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"It would be a no from me. I would find it very strange if a guy showed up with a gift when we were meeting. It actually would make me feel uncomfortable especially on a first social meet.

So a chap turns up to a meeting with a bottle of wine that would make you feel uncomfortable?

Yeah but a cock up the arse is just fine.

Not how I would of put it but I get where you’re coming from with this comparator!"

Yes not all metaphors bear close examination.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately