FabSwingers.com forum: under 18 users

By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

There is a post on forums from some one saying they are 16. Just wondering how people feel about 16 year olds using the site.

Of course it is impossible to police. Does it do them any harm ?

Young people can access pretty much any porn site cant they and i assume they do. If i could have done that at 16 i would have, would you ?

And if we can send 16 year olds to war should they be entitled to do all the things any adult does ?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and again....

they get suspended instantly the powers that be are alerted

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"and again....

they get suspended instantly the powers that be are alerted"

yes but they just cocked up or were making a point. Does it matter ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either he's lying I. The forum or lying on his profile either way not a good thing to do

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"Either he's lying I. The forum or lying on his profile either way not a good thing to do

"
well if people get booted for a little lie the site would be pretty much empty wouldnt it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And personally I wouldn't want 16 year olds on here ( only because I have kids near that age and I want adult conversation lol )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no I dont.

let young people experience real life before they even become interested in this sorta lifestyle...16 is already a contentious issue.Even 18 is too young for some folks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Either he's lying I. The forum or lying on his profile either way not a good thing to do

well if people get booted for a little lie the site would be pretty much empty wouldnt it ?"

Yes completely agree however lying that your underage doesn't show the smartest intelligence around

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"Either he's lying I. The forum or lying on his profile either way not a good thing to do

well if people get booted for a little lie the site would be pretty much empty wouldnt it ?

Yes completely agree however lying that your underage doesn't show the smartest intelligence around

"
Yes a bit dumb but if you get booted for being dumb i wouldnt be here. Hope thats not a new policy

But other than being a bit dim is this a pointless rule/law ? it cannot be policed and kids from what i understand look at hardcore porn all over the internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes they do every kid I know uses pornhub or similar, however that doesn't mean they Interact with the adults on those sites, and I certainly wouldn't want to talk to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this twice in the last month - neither on here though - where someone claiming to be 18 has, in an initial message, said they were actually only 16 or 17.

I can only see the situation worsening - had I had access to a PC at 16, i'm pretty sure I'd have given it a whirl.

Teens these days are far more techno savvy than us oldies ever where and more sexually aware too so put the two together and here's what we're left with !

As for whether it should be allowed or not I am not totally decided but falling on the side of 'no' as I think at 16 you are sexually interested but not sexually aware - there is a HUGE difference.

TBH, I think 21 (as a minimum) would be a more acceptable age for sites like this to be taking memberships from, but again it goes back to policing the issue, not to mention the 'age discrimination' related problems.

I only make that statement as by 21, you are a little more self aware / sexually aware and adjusted to life as an adult than you are as a teen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely agree , there are always exceptions as some are more mature than others but looking back to when I was a teenager I can say with confidence I really didn't know what I wanted what I was even really doing with my body or other people's

it takes a certain maturity to full embrace this lifestyle and I don't think many under 18s will have it

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"I've had this twice in the last month - neither on here though - where someone claiming to be 18 has, in an initial message, said they were actually only 16 or 17.

I can only see the situation worsening - had I had access to a PC at 16, i'm pretty sure I'd have given it a whirl.

Teens these days are far more techno savvy than us oldies ever where and more sexually aware too so put the two together and here's what we're left with !

As for whether it should be allowed or not I am not totally decided but falling on the side of 'no' as I think at 16 you are sexually interested but not sexually aware - there is a HUGE difference.

I only make that statement as by 21, you are a little more self aware / sexually aware and adjusted to life as an adult than you are as a teen."
You made some interseting points thanks. I should say that i regularly looked at porn from the age of about 7. I imagine most people on the site also looked at porn before they were 18. It is impossible to police so it seems a pretty futile law. I may be wrong but get the impression youngsters mostly watch porn which in my _iew isnt the best sex education you can get. I would prefer a 16-17 year old to be learning about sex from a site like this because its more true to life and is an education even for me at my age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be a good idea if it wasn't abused but at that age you would just get alot more threads along the lines of "is ne1 gen here m8" and such ( I'm talking on experience from having a 15year old niece and two 14year old step sons) they all think sex is a toy to be bragged about and used to their own advantage and they all want it NOW lol x

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"It would be a good idea if it wasn't abused but at that age you would just get alot more threads along the lines of "is ne1 gen here m8" and such ( I'm talking on experience from having a 15year old niece and two 14year old step sons) they all think sex is a toy to be bragged about and used to their own advantage and they all want it NOW lol x"
Well the law says you can have sex at 16 not 14 or 15. so at 16 i can have gang bangs, orgies, bukkake and bdsm or any other legal sexual practise, i just cant look at it on the internet. To be honest the post you used as an example ive seen a few like that already

Im also wondering what magically happens on your 18th birthday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing magically happens, however if you take a average 16 year old and a average 18 year old the difference can be huge in their outlook on life, however I wouldn't want to play with a 18 year old either lol x and yes I've seen plenty of profiles like that and generally they are from the younger age bracket

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By *rSinfulMan
over a year ago

mysteryville

[Removed by poster at 03/12/12 15:43:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a worry for me as a mother of a 17 and a 19 yr old. I have caught the younger one watching porn and didn't make a big deal of it. Tho I did point out that 'most' girls don't behave like the girls in the porn films.

I don't feel that opening 16 yr olds eyes to this lifestyle would be good for them or for the site.

And I do feel they would be open to be taken advantage of by some of the less scrupulous members

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worry is at 16 despite thinking they're streetwise or experienced, there's a lot of people out there who, given the chance, would exploit their lack of life experience.

It's difficult enough as a fully cooked adult to spot liars and wrong-uns, what chance do these kids have?

And what happens when someone sleeps with a 16 y/o to find they're 15 or 14?

I agree with an earlier post, min age 21 to join

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"It is a worry for me as a mother of a 17 and a 19 yr old. I have caught the younger one watching porn and didn't make a big deal of it. Tho I did point out that 'most' girls don't behave like the girls in the porn films.

I don't feel that opening 16 yr olds eyes to this lifestyle would be good for them or for the site.

And I do feel they would be open to be taken advantage of by some of the less scrupulous members

Indeed! Maybe I'm in "mummy mode", but we should be aiming to protect children, and help them maintain their innocents as long as possible.

Some of the adults struggle to come to terms with this lifestyle, just imagine how a 16 year old would fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The worry is at 16 despite thinking they're streetwise or experienced, there's a lot of people out there who, given the chance, would exploit their lack of life experience.

It's difficult enough as a fully cooked adult to spot liars and wrong-uns, what chance do these kids have?

And what happens when someone sleeps with a 16 y/o to find they're 15 or 14?

I agree with an earlier post, min age 21 to join"

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By *ichaelsmyMan
over a year ago

douglas

Have to be 18 to go to war, not allowed to even forward deploy untill turned 18.

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"The worry is at 16 despite thinking they're streetwise or experienced, there's a lot of people out there who, given the chance, would exploit their lack of life experience.

It's difficult enough as a fully cooked adult to spot liars and wrong-uns, what chance do these kids have?

And what happens when someone sleeps with a 16 y/o to find they're 15 or 14?

I agree with an earlier post, min age 21 to join

well there is a minimum age to join any sex site and yet it is shown as impossible to police. given that there are under age people on porn sites the age restriction seems to be more about the peace of mind for 18 and over people and not protection of the young. Also you can legally have sex at 16, personally i dont get the age restriction at all.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"The worry is at 16 despite thinking they're streetwise or experienced, there's a lot of people out there who, given the chance, would exploit their lack of life experience.

It's difficult enough as a fully cooked adult to spot liars and wrong-uns, what chance do these kids have?

And what happens when someone sleeps with a 16 y/o to find they're 15 or 14?

I agree with an earlier post, min age 21 to join

I think it's about them being protected from themselves.

I'm comfortable that if the law says someone who has attained the age of 18 is to be treated as an adult - then that's fine by me. I might not want to play with them (or if I do - I want to see some evidence that they are not a minor) - but they have the right to make their own mistakes (just as I have over the years).

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

I don't feel that opening 16 yr olds eyes to this lifestyle would be good for them or for the site.

And I do feel they would be open to be taken advantage of by some of the less scrupulous members

"
well done for not making a fuss about them watching porn, i suspect they were mortified tho. But you will know that under 18's use these sites so are they not at more risk now than they would be if it was out in the open ? It seems bonkers to me to have a law that cannot be policed and enforced. especially when you can have sex with who you like at 16, not being able to look at it on a computer seems a bit daft. In the same way that you can smoke at 16 but you just cant buy them. I guess if the government was serious about the law proof of ID would be needed to join a porn sex site. Though that would cause all sorts of problems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are not classed as an adult till your 18, doesnt matter if this is difficult to police, its the law.

Speeding is difficult to police,but we dont just say "sod it" let em go as fast as they like.

From 16 till 18 you are not an adult in the eyes of the law.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are not classed as an adult till your 18, doesnt matter if this is difficult to police, its the law.

Speeding is difficult to police,but we dont just say "sod it" let em go as fast as they like.

From 16 till 18 you are not an adult in the eyes of the law."

Not true you are in Scotland but yet you can't drive a car, buy alcohol or cigarettes or get credit or sign any form of contract well apart from a marriage certificate !!!

I was nearly 20 before I felt ready to have sex and I hand picked the guy I wanted to pop my cherry but I wasn't naive I knew a helluva lit more about sex than all my friends most of whom had been experiencing it since they were 13/14 but doing it and understanding the consequences on emotional physical and social aspects well they didn't have a clue

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"You are not classed as an adult till your 18, doesnt matter if this is difficult to police, its the law.

Speeding is difficult to police,but we dont just say "sod it" let em go as fast as they like.

From 16 till 18 you are not an adult in the eyes of the law."

what is the point of un policable laws ? The law says at 16 i can participate in a gang bang but i cant watch one on the internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The law also says you can drink beer in your home.

You cant go out and buy it though.

Lots of laws you may not like, but you cant pick n choose unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this twice in the last month - neither on here though - where someone claiming to be 18 has, in an initial message, said they were actually only 16 or 17.

I can only see the situation worsening - had I had access to a PC at 16, i'm pretty sure I'd have given it a whirl.

Teens these days are far more techno savvy than us oldies ever where and more sexually aware too so put the two together and here's what we're left with !

As for whether it should be allowed or not I am not totally decided but falling on the side of 'no' as I think at 16 you are sexually interested but not sexually aware - there is a HUGE difference.

I only make that statement as by 21, you are a little more self aware / sexually aware and adjusted to life as an adult than you are as a teen."

I am in agreeance with you there, think 21 yrs old is fine, younger really isn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's ok for under 18's to be on here, but it must happen, it's not like fab asks for I.d. lol

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"The law also says you can drink beer in your home.

You cant go out and buy it though.

Lots of laws you may not like, but you cant pick n choose unfortunately."

Hmm well i am entitled to point out that a law is pointless and un policable. But actually law is intersting because strictly speaking in the uk we have common law, the law of the land. which consists of no harm no loss no fraud no breach of the peace. we are now policed by act/statute which isnt really law at all. the legal definition of an act is it is "a legislative RULE of society given the FORCE of LAW by the CONSENT of the governed. By its own definition it isnt a LAW

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

18 is about right. i was starting to lose my looks by 21.

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

I can't comment on Scotland, however my understanding is...16 is the age of consent, and your parents/guardian are still responsible for your care and well being until you are 18. While they can consent to sex, their parents could still technically ground them and prevent them seei g the person. However i wouldn't want to try that with most teenagers!

It's a cross over period - they can have sex every day if they like but can't legally go into Ann summers and buy a dildo!

At 18, well that's that, if they want to come on sites like this then fine - but to be honest, most won't want to.

Most of us look like old farts to most 18 year olds, and when they realise it's not insta-shag and they are more likely to get a shag on The wheelie bins around the back of asda for a bottle of white lightning, well they'll probably do that.

The ones that want to engage in serious discussion and debate should be welcomed. Personally I wouldn't play with them as a couple as I dont like to play with people who can't properly appreciate our situation, but I'd happily talk to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only make that statement as by 21, you are a little more self aware / sexually aware and adjusted to life as an adult than you are as a teen."

At 21 i was still a virgin, so even at that age not everyone is as aware as you would think. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only make that statement as by 21, you are a little more self aware / sexually aware and adjusted to life as an adult than you are as a teen.

At 21 i was still a virgin, so even at that age not everyone is as aware as you would think. xx"
That is a exception though, most have lost it in their teens.

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By *ondering_yorkshiremanMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near NE Derbyshire/S Yorkshire/Nottinghamshire border

You then get the thing of people just putting a few years on their age, like most teenagers do when trying to blag id situations in shops and clubs.

So you say on all sex sites you have to register on with a credit card, that opens up possibilities of fraud and blackmail, Kids using parents credit cards, and then those who cant get a credit card are then discriminated against.

There are too many contradictory laws in this country, its legal to smoke at 16 but not purchase them till 18. And if your buying for that age bracket you break the law.

But back to the point, you can regulate all you want. But the next time a young looking person walks past you, just think are they, 14,15,16,17 all dressed up? Or ur in a pub? And you chance your luck male and female, do you wanna see them the next day in a school uniform or opposite you in court for sex with a minor?

Ive never asked for id when out on the pull in my younger days!!

Gets you thinking!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm, imagine taking some photos on a meet, putting them up and then having the police knock on your door.

Fuck em if you like but don't go looking for them on the internet, thats just wrong.

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By *nIMidlandsCouple
over a year ago

Rugeley

We think 21 would be a more acceptable age for a sites like this to us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to be honest we look for youngers guys but happy with 17 as a min ! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A 14 year old and a 20 year old are "as a rule/ on average" light years apart in maturity. I'd be hard pressed to tell if the 20 year old was 18 or 20, but either would be legal if we got up to shenanigans. However if the site allowed 16 year olds on, then how long before someone is shagging a 14 year old claiming they are 16?

Then how long before there's a peodo-swingers site uproar in the press?

Yes the site as it stands can't enforce that someone is 18. I can't remember, but don't we have to tick agreement to the site rules - I'm guessing including confirmation that the details provided are correct? So from a legal point of _iew the site is safer should the Daily Heil cry Paedo. Evidence that they remove people they find who are breaking site rules will help them too.

Oh and OP, can you stop banging on about it being unenforceable please? I'm sure it's not intentional, but you're starting to make me think you have something to hide or an ulterior motive for this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont understand why at 16 ur at the age of consent, yet cant go into adult shops, buy porn etc.. whats the thinking behind that..

surely the age of consent should be 18 based on that fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i dont understand why at 16 ur at the age of consent, yet cant go into adult shops, buy porn etc.. whats the thinking behind that..

surely the age of consent should be 18 based on that fact"

100% agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/12 12:24:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I joined this site a few months before I turned 19 for something different to to the normal vanilla sex after experimenting with an ex gave me a taste for a little more. I personally don't agree with the over 21 age as when I joined I was quite mature for my age and have always been open minded about sex and this site has only made me even more mature and open my eyes even more which a lot of people I've met have seen and agreed with obviously people will argue I'm a woman so I'll get more success on a site like this and secondly there is lots of young people who are immature and in all fairness exactly the same can be said of people twice my age. I just tend to feel like I have to stick up for people around my age a lot.

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

a 37 year old man claims to have a 16 year old 'friend' he can bring along to meets!

Yes, the age of consent is 16 but frankly, to me, a 37 and a 16 year old means there is some sexual exploitation going on.

The person in question has been reported to Admin - i'd happily also report to the authorities if I had more details.

It's generally considered that sex between consenting ADULTS is ok. Yes the age of consent is 16 but in the eyes of the law, you are not an ADULT until 18.

My personal opinion is anyone happy to have sex with a 16 year old who is not themselves a teenager needs to be examining their motivation. Because they are not having sex with a consenting adult but a child

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a 37 year old man claims to have a 16 year old 'friend' he can bring along to meets!

Yes, the age of consent is 16 but frankly, to me, a 37 and a 16 year old means there is some sexual exploitation going on.

The person in question has been reported to Admin - i'd happily also report to the authorities if I had more details.

It's generally considered that sex between consenting ADULTS is ok. Yes the age of consent is 16 but in the eyes of the law, you are not an ADULT until 18.

I really wholeheartedly agree.

over 18 means u have sex with over 18..any other age differences above that I have no _iew on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a 37 year old man claims to have a 16 year old 'friend' he can bring along to meets!

Yes, the age of consent is 16 but frankly, to me, a 37 and a 16 year old means there is some sexual exploitation going on.

The person in question has been reported to Admin - i'd happily also report to the authorities if I had more details.

It's generally considered that sex between consenting ADULTS is ok. Yes the age of consent is 16 but in the eyes of the law, you are not an ADULT until 18.

well i met my hubby when i was 17 and he was 38.

if 16 is the age of consent then why would you report him to the authorities?

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

I am not arguing to lower the age to 16. And what is this about a few fake profiles ? I am only pointing out that under 18's regularly look at hard core porn on the internet and join swinging sites. By law they are old enough to have sex in what ever way they want but they just cant look at it, which seems a little silly.

I hoped the thread might inspire some intelligent debate about the internet and how it effects the sexuality and attitude of young people, porn sites, sexual relationships,the law, the age of consent. Personally i find it mind boggling as i grew up in an age when there was no computers and hard core porn was illegal.

Now children at the click of a button can watch beastiality and gang bangs if they like.What does that do to their expectations of relationships and their attitudes to sex ? I was thrilled if i found a screwed up, torn up, slightly mouldy copy of penthouse.

I couldnt really give a monkeys if you are unsettled. In my _iew tackling and having a sensible debate about unsettling subjects is needed more often. It is only recently that paedophilia has become an acceptable thing to recognise and deal with. People rarely mentioned or talked about it before because it was unsettling, disturbing, that attitude didnt do much good did it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a 37 year old man claims to have a 16 year old 'friend' he can bring along to meets!

Yes, the age of consent is 16 but frankly, to me, a 37 and a 16 year old means there is some sexual exploitation going on.

The person in question has been reported to Admin - i'd happily also report to the authorities if I had more details.

It's generally considered that sex between consenting ADULTS is ok. Yes the age of consent is 16 but in the eyes of the law, you are not an ADULT until 18.

Definitely agree

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

"a 37 year old man claims to have a 16 year old 'friend' he can bring along to meets!

Yes, the age of consent is 16 but frankly, to me, a 37 and a 16 year old means there is some sexual exploitation going on.

The person in question has been reported to Admin - i'd happily also report to the authorities if I had more details.

It's generally considered that sex between consenting ADULTS is ok. Yes the age of consent is 16 but in the eyes of the law, you are not an ADULT until 18.

Definitely agree

me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

In a previous post on this thread you state that you would prefer 16-17 yr olds to be learning about sex on a site like this as it is much more 'true to life' !!

This site - and any other similar one along with it is hardly a suitable source of 'sex education'. It is a means for adults who are mature enough to understand the choices this 'lifestyle' offers to interact with similar people - not a 'how to' guide for those with little or no life experience. Young people need to learn and explore at their own pace without being encouraged to dive into something that they are unlikely to be physically or mentally mature enough for.

This comment is what unsettles me the most!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

In a previous post on this thread you state that you would prefer 16-17 yr olds to be learning about sex on a site like this as it is much more 'true to life' !!

This comment is what unsettles me the most! "

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"A 14 year old and a 20 year old are "as a rule/ on average" light years apart in maturity. I'd be hard pressed to tell if the 20 year old was 18 or 20, but either would be legal if we got up to shenanigans. However if the site allowed 16 year olds on, then how long before someone is shagging a 14 year old claiming they are 16?

Then how long before there's a peodo-swingers site uproar in the press?

Oh and OP, can you stop banging on about it being unenforceable please? I'm sure it's not intentional, but you're starting to make me think you have something to hide or an ulterior motive for this!"
Unfortunatly i was hoping for a sensible debate on all the issues this raises which are many. And you have raised one. Ive gone on about unenforcable because i assume it is the site owners who the onus is on to enforce it. I assume too that they may be held responsible and liable should the rules be flouted. An unenviable and impossible position for them which doesnt really seem fair to me. And i am waiting for someone to tell me what is the point of a virtually unenforcable law which the might of the uk police cannot enforce. The only time the law will be enforced is when there is a victim who complains and then of course its to late.

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

"a 37 year old man claims to have a 16 year old 'friend' he can bring along to meets!

Yes, the age of consent is 16 but frankly, to me, a 37 and a 16 year old means there is some sexual exploitation going on.

The person in question has been reported to Admin - i'd happily also report to the authorities if I had more details.

It's generally considered that sex between consenting ADULTS is ok. Yes the age of consent is 16 but in the eyes of the law, you are not an ADULT until 18.

well i met my hubby when i was 17 and he was 38.

if 16 is the age of consent then why would you report him to the authorities?"

Because in law someone under the age of 18 is not a consenting adult.

16 is the age of consent but 18 is _iewed as being an adult.

Sexual exploitation can and does happen when an adult exploits a minor.

So someone who is over 18 (an adult) having sex with someone who is a minor (under 18) is breaking the law, regardless of whether the minor is of the age of consent or not.

This is why i'd tell the authorities so that it can be determined whether this particular minor is being exploited, or not.

I have friends that have a 30 year age gap, but for every good, non-exploitative relationship like theirs (and probably yours) there are hundreds that are not

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"... And i am waiting for someone to tell me what is the point of a virtually unenforcable law which the might of the uk police cannot enforce. The only time the law will be enforced is when there is a victim who complains and then of course its to late."

The point is it is the Law, I'm sure the Police would also love to be able to prevent every murder happening, they can't, and investigate it after there is a victim and guess what - It is also too late for that victim too!

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

"There is a post on forums from some one saying they are 16. Just wondering how people feel about 16 year olds using the site.

Of course it is impossible to police. Does it do them any harm ?

Young people can access pretty much any porn site cant they and i assume they do. If i could have done that at 16 i would have, would you ?

And if we can send 16 year olds to war should they be entitled to do all the things any adult does ?

I agree it would be impossible to police. A 15yr old could put up a profile posing as a 30yr old and have access to everything on the site ( a pitfall of having a 'free' site), but the give-aways would be in his profile, or his chat or his posts in the fourm, and thats what people need to be careful of i guess. This could also be true of an older woman posing as a 16yr old girl, it happens im sure. It cannot be policed but responsible members on here can look out for the obvious signs and report.......the account can be closed, but nothing stops them from making a new one all over again. I find the whole scenario sickening...... I have children in their 20's and cant even contemplate being with anyone of that age group never mind younger.

If this post makes people more aware then thats a plus.

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

If this post makes people more aware then thats a plus.

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

In a previous post on this thread you state that you would prefer 16-17 yr olds to be learning about sex on a site like this as it is much more 'true to life' !!

This comment is what unsettles me the most!

What unsettles me the most is what watching hard core porn does to young people, especially effecting attitudes towards women, relationships and sex. I dont think these healthy at all. A couple of years back there was a very interesting documentary programme on tv about young people and how internet porn was effecting their out look on sex and relationships. None of what they found was positive. However it seems i cant raise realistic questions about the matter without people accusing me directly or indirectly that i have ulterior motives or i am a paedophile. I live in a fairly rough part of london with proper gangs of very young men going around shooting and stabbing each other. They also use sex and violence on very young women as a means of control and power.Violent Gang rape by 16 year old males on even younger women is shockingly very common. Issues like this disturb me. The documentary surveyed young people and found a very large percentage of children as young as 11 were regularly looking at hard core porn and that doing so had influenced in a very negative way their attitudes to sex and relationships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a 37 year old man claims to have a 16 year old 'friend' he can bring along to meets!

Yes, the age of consent is 16 but frankly, to me, a 37 and a 16 year old means there is some sexual exploitation going on.

The person in question has been reported to Admin - i'd happily also report to the authorities if I had more details.

It's generally considered that sex between consenting ADULTS is ok. Yes the age of consent is 16 but in the eyes of the law, you are not an ADULT until 18.

well i met my hubby when i was 17 and he was 38.

if 16 is the age of consent then why would you report him to the authorities?

Because in law someone under the age of 18 is not a consenting adult.

16 is the age of consent but 18 is _iewed as being an adult.

Sexual exploitation can and does happen when an adult exploits a minor.

So someone who is over 18 (an adult) having sex with someone who is a minor (under 18) is breaking the law, regardless of whether the minor is of the age of consent or not.

This is why i'd tell the authorities so that it can be determined whether this particular minor is being exploited, or not.

I have friends that have a 30 year age gap, but for every good, non-exploitative relationship like theirs (and probably yours) there are hundreds that are not"

I re-read my comment about 18 and above for sexual relationships and thought it sounded stupid.I know there are cases obviously where a young couple may be separated by a year ie a 16 and 17yr old..and one becomes 18.

However, I see that entirely different to this as an over 18's sex/swing site.

Its all our duty to protect isnt it?

As this thread stemmed from a previous thread , that was dealt with promptly..it has been a sensible discussion/debate, and I think its a great thanks to the site and users who would consider their open nature of the sexual persuasions to have that 'moral compass' firmly in check.We are tarnished enough in the media for our activities for lacking 'morals'- so its great to highlight what we all would find unacceptable to our sexual lifestyle choices.

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"i dont understand why at 16 ur at the age of consent, yet cant go into adult shops, buy porn etc.. whats the thinking behind that..

surely the age of consent should be 18 based on that fact"

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

In a previous post on this thread you state that you would prefer 16-17 yr olds to be learning about sex on a site like this as it is much more 'true to life' !!

This comment is what unsettles me the most! "

So you prefer them to watch gang bangs and hard core porn as sex education ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

In a previous post on this thread you state that you would prefer 16-17 yr olds to be learning about sex on a site like this as it is much more 'true to life' !!

This comment is what unsettles me the most!

So you prefer them to watch gang bangs and hard core porn as sex education ?"

I prefer parents to be responsible and utilise Internet filters at home, the education system to provide adequate sex education in schools and support and advice services to be available to those with questions and health worries.

Nothing will stop 16-17 year olds access to porn completely - much as when younger we all shared jazz mags at school. Children - and I use that term as they are still under 18 - will be curious and want to see sexually explicit material, experiment with friends their own age (and sometimes sex) - and will try to get around any mechanism put in place to prevent this.

The assumption that all 16-17 yr olds will see hardcore porn and suddenly be 'warped for life' and indulge in every activity they come across is wrong. Yes porn gives a very skewed image 'normal' sexual activity - but it should come as no surprise that young adults _iew it. If this is their only exposure to all things sexual - then their parents are failing them.

And encouraging them to sign up to a swingers site to 'further their education' is like throwing lambs to the wolves. And I'd expect anyone in the forties - particularly those with children to think the idea both ridiculous and extremely dangerous!

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

In a previous post on this thread you state that you would prefer 16-17 yr olds to be learning about sex on a site like this as it is much more 'true to life' !!

This comment is what unsettles me the most!

So you prefer them to watch gang bangs and hard core porn as sex education ?

Im not advocating 16 & 17 year olds be allowed to use a swinging site. I am accepting the reality that they do this already.

I am not suggesting that a swinging site is the best place for them to get a sex education.

I am saying it might be preferable to a gang bang BDSM site.

There is plenty of evidence to show, especially with young men, that watching internet porn negatively effects how they _iew women, sex and relationships. I did not say that watching internet porn will warp them for life. You put "warp for life" in quotations, who are you quoting with such an overly dramatic statement ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

In a previous post on this thread you state that you would prefer 16-17 yr olds to be learning about sex on a site like this as it is much more 'true to life' !!

This comment is what unsettles me the most!

So you prefer them to watch gang bangs and hard core porn as sex education ?

Im not advocating 16 & 17 year olds be allowed to use a swinging site. I am accepting the reality that they do this already.

I am not suggesting that a swinging site is the best place for them to get a sex education.

I am saying it might be preferable to a gang bang BDSM site.

To paraphrase several of your earlier posts -

You would prefer 16-17 yr olds to use a site such as this rather than porn as it more reflects normal life. Swinging is not in any way the 'normal life' for the majority - it is a choice made by people mature enough to deal with the emotions, interactions and understand the interests of like minded individuals.

You see it as unfair that 16-17 yr olds can indulge in gang bangs, bukakke and bdsm and yet cannot _iew it through Internet porn. Good! How many 16-17 yr olds are actually doing (or wanting to at their age) any of the activities you list? Most are just finding their feet through initial dabbling with others.

As the law is 'unenforcable' why is it there? To protect those at risk from falling into the clutches of those with other motives and to try to prevent them making mistakes they will later regret. No system is perfect but any is better than none. I'd welcome tighter control any day. Just because legally someone can have sex at 16 does not make them mature enough to engage in every sex act under the sun!

As for whether or not 16-17 yrs olds are actively joining sites like this - there may be a few - but I doubt to any level you are indicating. And any discovered should be rightly booted off site ASAP! I would be far more worried about the reverse - the sad bastards proactively interacting with those they know to be under 18 via the likes of Facebook - than the odd teen who thinks its big and clever to pretend to be older on a site like this. Any self respecting adult would block and report any suspicions immediately.

You say you're looking for an adult debate on the subject - I really don't think there's much to debate when the topic of 16-17 yr olds is raised.

They are not adults. Don't encourage them to act like adults any sooner than necessary !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To paraphrase several of your earlier posts -

You say you're looking for an adult debate on the subject - I really don't think there's much to debate when the topic of 16-17 yr olds is raised.

They are not adults. Don't encourage them to act like adults any sooner than necessary !

Hows ur eyebrows Obi ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To paraphrase several of your earlier posts -

You say you're looking for an adult debate on the subject - I really don't think there's much to debate when the topic of 16-17 yr olds is raised.

They are not adults. Don't encourage them to act like adults any sooner than necessary !

Hows ur eyebrows Obi ?

Right now - singed but after reading much of the above - worryingly raised!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hows ur eyebrows Obi ?

Right now - singed but after reading much of the above - worryingly raised!!

I've thought for some time you have that 'James Bond' look about ya !

Now I know why

Are you Roger Moore ?

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

twist.twist,twist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hows ur eyebrows Obi ?

Right now - singed but after reading much of the above - worryingly raised!!

I've thought for some time you have that 'James Bond' look about ya !

Now I know why

Are you Roger Moore ?"

Roger Moore by nature - but more of a Sean Connery!

A young one with no hair - obviously!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" And if we can send 16 year olds to war should they be entitled to do all the things any adult does ? "

Just a small point you cannot be sent into a war zone until you are 18. M

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've read through this thread twice and to be honest find the op's attitude a little unsettling.

Why would anyone argue that dropping the age of membership to 16 just because there are probably a minimal amount of fake profiles that belong to those of that age is just a bit beyond me.

Unsettling ? i think you should say what you mean.

Ok. I will say what I mean. You are a 49 year old man. You appear to be advocating this site as a suitable place for under 18s on no onther basis than some must already be here. You have stated that this site is somewhere they could get an education which is frankly ridiculous. You have referred to under 18's within the context of gang bangs, bukkake and BDSM. So yes I finds al;l of that somewhat unsettling. Because I cant understand why anyone would think introducing people under 18 to this life style would be a good idea. Because a recurrent theme on here is that some younger members do not have the emotional maturity to be on a site like this so how would a 16 year old cope?

And to be blunt, as you have said this sort of site is better educationally than porn sites, what sort of education do you think a 16 or 17 year old would get on here?

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By *ctavius Stunt OP Man
over a year ago

london

I wont be adding to this thread anymore. There are people who have completely taken what i have said out of context or twisted it or even quoted me on things I have not said. Not to mention wrongly making assumptions about what my _iew is and even insinuated I am somehow suspect for raising the matter.

I dont actually have a _iew or a fixed opinion aboout any of it. The closest I got to making an opinion was agreeing with a poster who said "the age of consent should be 18." And that this was a logical conclusion if we hold the _iew that 16 and 17 year olds are not mature enough to look at internet porn or join a swinging site untill they are 18.

I started this post because I believe I was the first person to report someone who made a post saying they were 16. And also because I am interested in how the internet is changing society, the way we interract and our relationships. I have to say not always for the best. Especially the questionable morality which is common place on the internet and how that filters out into the real world.

On the subject or child abuse and paedophilia I have spent a little over 20 years trying to raise awareness of its devastating effects in comparison to the lenient sentencing given out to paedophiles. So I am well aware that it is a subject that can raise a strong reaction and often people bury their heads in the sand.

Personaly I find it a great disappointment that we cannot mention young people and sexuality without someone casting aspersions or questioning motives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is a post on forums from some one saying they are 16. Just wondering how people feel about 16 year olds using the site.

Of course it is impossible to police. Does it do them any harm ?

Young people can access pretty much any porn site cant they and i assume they do. If i could have done that at 16 i would have, would you ?

And if we can send 16 year olds to war should they be entitled to do all the things any adult does ?

You can't go to war till your 18 trust me I'm still serving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabshould do what phone companies do have to phone up or use a credit card make small donation of say a pound and hv to verify ther that way if ther 16yr olds on site,, but it still doesnt fully gaurantee it stop it though,, changed days when i was that age no internet jus ladies on tennant lager cans and the daily sport or Escort magazine lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yh but they can join at 15 and 9 mouths that wat they mean

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