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"Unfortunately yes My husband and I have definitely not mastered the knack of communication in a club when you are out on the spot It seems rude to say can we take a moment to discuss, would love to know how others handle these situations It's not helped that I can find someone attractive clothed but if things progress and we undress and they are hairy and not blessed down there my mood changes very quickly While not everyone's cup of tea my husband is quite WE so it's what I'm used to & what I enjoy so if someone comes along that's 5/6 inches or below, I feel like what's the point or even if they are blessed but with a hairy chest and balls, inwardly I'm going ewww but know I'm going to have to go through with things otherwise it looks like I just encouraged the guy so my husband can get to the wife I know the above makes me sound awful so I should say we rarely meet couples for this exact reason & when we do, I do my best to make my preferences known before we get to that point" Why do you feel it rude to ask for a moment to discuss but not rude to have sex with someone you're not attracted to? Personally I'd much rather a couple took a minute and then explained that it wasn't working for them | |||
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"No it's dishonest, hurtful and disrespectful to the person. We met a couple once where the guy wasn't interested in me. He should have just said he just wanted to watch his wife with other people." | |||
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"We had the same situation that prompted the post. We sort of knew this couple from another site. It wasn't planned but we bumped into them at a sex club on the same night. We had a chat as a 4some and the wife and the other guy hit it off. The guy asked did we want to go to a private room? My wife said that could be fun and got up with him and me and his wife followed. He gave the wife a proper hard doggy fuck, wife loves that. I had his wife, but it was only because we had to do something.... My heart wasn't in it somehow....its 100% better if all 4 people are keen. So what would you have done in my situation then? Your wife is keen and your not?" We agreed a long time ago to just say "we're just taking five minutes for a private chat, excuse us". Jesus! You 'had' his wife! The poor woman who you fucked but your heart wasn't in it | |||
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"Yep safe word I think- if you say to your partner I need a whisky it’s a safe word and also an excuse to break the conversation to go get drinks and create space. Of course best to pick a drink you don’t like because it could just mean you want a whisky! " But then what happens if they say we'll come to the bar with you? | |||
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"Unfortunately yes My husband and I have definitely not mastered the knack of communication in a club when you are out on the spot It seems rude to say can we take a moment to discuss, would love to know how others handle these situations It's not helped that I can find someone attractive clothed but if things progress and we undress and they are hairy and not blessed down there my mood changes very quickly While not everyone's cup of tea my husband is quite WE so it's what I'm used to & what I enjoy so if someone comes along that's 5/6 inches or below, I feel like what's the point or even if they are blessed but with a hairy chest and balls, inwardly I'm going ewww but know I'm going to have to go through with things otherwise it looks like I just encouraged the guy so my husband can get to the wife I know the above makes me sound awful so I should say we rarely meet couples for this exact reason & when we do, I do my best to make my preferences known before we get to that point Why do you feel it rude to ask for a moment to discuss but not rude to have sex with someone you're not attracted to? Personally I'd much rather a couple took a minute and then explained that it wasn't working for them" I don't know I guess I presume they'd want/expect an automatic yes, & taking 5 minutes even if you just say it's to freshen up could cause offence, especially if you then go back and say thanks but no thanks, actually as I'm typing this I realise what I'm saying is even more ridiculous than having sex with someone I'm not actually attracted to I should say again it hasn't happened often as we don't look for couples, our preference is singles, but we have occasionally been caught out in clubs when they've approached us | |||
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"Go with the wishes/desires of your lady......every time !" ... the golden rule | |||
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"Isn't the number 1 claim by couples that you need to be really good at communicating with each other before doing the swinging?" Yes but sometimes you don’t know until faced with a situation so then a few winks here and there. Both of us are prepared to sacrifice on our ideals sometimes, within reason, for the greater good. As long as evens out over the long term we are happy. | |||
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"Isn't the number 1 claim by couples that you need to be really good at communicating with each other before doing the swinging? Yes but sometimes you don’t know until faced with a situation so then a few winks here and there. Both of us are prepared to sacrifice on our ideals sometimes, within reason, for the greater good. As long as evens out over the long term we are happy. " Still seems strange that one half of a couple would shag someone that really didn't do anything for them | |||
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"Isn't the number 1 claim by couples that you need to be really good at communicating with each other before doing the swinging?" It is but sometimes you just don't know until you are in the situation. You may have even made plans, had ideas what you wanted but it changes. It's interesting hearing how others handle things | |||
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"Isn't the number 1 claim by couples that you need to be really good at communicating with each other before doing the swinging? Yes but sometimes you don’t know until faced with a situation so then a few winks here and there. Both of us are prepared to sacrifice on our ideals sometimes, within reason, for the greater good. As long as evens out over the long term we are happy. Still seems strange that one half of a couple would shag someone that really didn't do anything for them " Well as with most things there is a spectrum between 100% fancy and 0% detest and not going near them. Can’t always both be at 100% and sometimes neither of us are. Sure many feel the same about us But can still be fun. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Playing in a group is different and less intimate than two couples swapping privately. | |||
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"Unfortunately yes My husband and I have definitely not mastered the knack of communication in a club when you are out on the spot It seems rude to say can we take a moment to discuss, would love to know how others handle these situations It's not helped that I can find someone attractive clothed but if things progress and we undress and they are hairy and not blessed down there my mood changes very quickly While not everyone's cup of tea my husband is quite WE so it's what I'm used to & what I enjoy so if someone comes along that's 5/6 inches or below, I feel like what's the point or even if they are blessed but with a hairy chest and balls, inwardly I'm going ewww but know I'm going to have to go through with things otherwise it looks like I just encouraged the guy so my husband can get to the wife I know the above makes me sound awful so I should say we rarely meet couples for this exact reason & when we do, I do my best to make my preferences known before we get to that point" We have code words for "yes bring it on" and "not in a fucking month of Sundays". Unfortunately on one occasion Mrs K got them the wrong way round! My standards on who I'd fuck while swinging are significantly lower than my former standards for a relationship or even a date (before Mrs K appeared). That doesn't mean I'm taking one for the team - I still definitely enjoy them all, not least because of the group sex dynamic. It's a bit like having an After Eight when you're already stuffed with dinner! | |||
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"Nope More often than not jack will fancy the lady ,but if theres no attraction to the male for me ,we wouldn't meet them in the first place. It would be awful to find someone had slept with you because their partner fancied yours,but they weren't attracted to you . Miss" I agree. It also seems to be about getting what you want at someone else's expense. | |||
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"Its always been our no 1 rule when playing etc. No one takes one for the team xx" Exactly this... gorgeous photos by the way | |||
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" We have code words for "yes bring it on" and "not in a fucking month of Sundays". Unfortunately on one occasion Mrs K got them the wrong way round! My standards on who I'd fuck while swinging are significantly lower than my former standards for a relationship or even a date (before Mrs K appeared). That doesn't mean I'm taking one for the team - I still definitely enjoy them all, not least because of the group sex dynamic. It's a bit like having an After Eight when you're already stuffed with dinner!" Yep we both feel like the too. Phew was wondering if just us Sometimes things don't have to be perfect with a group of people and it's still fun. It's not like you are spending hours with somebody making love. It's a quick blow job here or a 5 minute fuck there. | |||
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"No it's dishonest, hurtful and disrespectful to the person. We met a couple once where the guy wasn't interested in me. He should have just said he just wanted to watch his wife with other people." I agree here. Taking one for the team is not great for you and them. They know when you’re not into it, no matter how much it’s faked. Just tell them, my other half fancies your other half and it’s replicated. Wanna sit and watch them have some fun? And who knows?… If I ever found out I’d been bamboozled just for someone else to have sex I’d be pretty gutted. | |||
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"It is interesting reading most of the replies - very black and white and almost nobody referencing the original question and "not 100% into". How about one 100% into but one only 80% which is still pretty good Surely more shades of grey here than black and white. Perhaps that's where people interested in more group sex scenarios/orgies differ to people who do couples swap or threesomes. The chances of everyone 100% fancying everyone in a group scenario is pretty much zero. " The other original question is 'has anyone ever taken one for the team?'. To me that means doing something you don't really want to do to so that other members of your team can gain an advantage. Now that's great if you're playing football but in this scenario it smacks of one couple assuming their pleasure is more important than another person's dignity. "My partner wants sex with your partner, I don't really want to have sex with you but I'll do it anyway so they get what they want." That isn't ok even in a group scenario in my opinion. | |||
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"It is interesting reading most of the replies - very black and white and almost nobody referencing the original question and "not 100% into". How about one 100% into but one only 80% which is still pretty good Surely more shades of grey here than black and white. Perhaps that's where people interested in more group sex scenarios/orgies differ to people who do couples swap or threesomes. The chances of everyone 100% fancying everyone in a group scenario is pretty much zero. The other original question is 'has anyone ever taken one for the team?'. To me that means doing something you don't really want to do to so that other members of your team can gain an advantage. Now that's great if you're playing football but in this scenario it smacks of one couple assuming their pleasure is more important than another person's dignity. "My partner wants sex with your partner, I don't really want to have sex with you but I'll do it anyway so they get what they want." That isn't ok even in a group scenario in my opinion. " Most people have focused on the black and white taking one for the team bit and not the other Even then not always black and white. There are many cases between really fancying and wanting sex and really not wanting to. Of course if really didn't want to neither of us would. Also if it was always one half (male or female) getting to play with somebody they really fancied and the other half playing with somebody they were just ok with then over time that would be unfair and taking one for the team. We can't be equally happy each time and just hope it evens out over time. Guess I just see things more shapes of grey than black and white - applies to lots of areas of life and often gets me in trouble debating with "black and white" people | |||
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"It is interesting reading most of the replies - very black and white and almost nobody referencing the original question and "not 100% into". How about one 100% into but one only 80% which is still pretty good Surely more shades of grey here than black and white. Perhaps that's where people interested in more group sex scenarios/orgies differ to people who do couples swap or threesomes. The chances of everyone 100% fancying everyone in a group scenario is pretty much zero. The other original question is 'has anyone ever taken one for the team?'. To me that means doing something you don't really want to do to so that other members of your team can gain an advantage. Now that's great if you're playing football but in this scenario it smacks of one couple assuming their pleasure is more important than another person's dignity. "My partner wants sex with your partner, I don't really want to have sex with you but I'll do it anyway so they get what they want." That isn't ok even in a group scenario in my opinion. Most people have focused on the black and white taking one for the team bit and not the other Even then not always black and white. There are many cases between really fancying and wanting sex and really not wanting to. Of course if really didn't want to neither of us would. Also if it was always one half (male or female) getting to play with somebody they really fancied and the other half playing with somebody they were just ok with then over time that would be unfair and taking one for the team. We can't be equally happy each time and just hope it evens out over time. Guess I just see things more shapes of grey than black and white - applies to lots of areas of life and often gets me in trouble debating with "black and white" people " Holding a different opinion on a subject to mine won't get you in trouble with me. | |||
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