FabSwingers.com forum: Pushy after a meet

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We met a guy a few weeks back and had a good time. We told him that even though we'd like to meet again, we prefer it if we're left alone to make contact when we want to play. Not sure if he reads the forums... hopefully not!

Since then, he has messaged us twice without reply, and that's really turning us off from wanting to meet him again.

Couple of questions for the more experienced out there: if he's getting pushy after one meet, is this a warning flag that further meets could lead to an escalation of messages/unwanted attention? Also we're going to message back at some point today but not really sure what to say. We just need him to get some chill and go do his own thing until we're ready to meet again. As we've already said to him, we're really spontaneous with meets and not always in the mood. If he's not free when we want to meet, that's fine, we can try another time, but we want to be the ones asking, not him.

Any advice? Are we being unreasonable?

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

This can be a bit of a pain.

It's quite possible that a threesome with you (or anyone) is a real sexual highlight to him and he'll remember this for ages. Hence, he wants more of the same.

I'd keep him at arm's length, personally. Unless he has a cock that is longer than a arm, in which case it's a different matter.

I'd suggest your message states that you enjoyed seeing him and intend to see him again, but not in the near future, as you are here to experience more variety

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

You are definitely not being unreasonable, OP. You made your intentions very clear and it's him who is disrespectful towards you and what you agreed with him. If I were you, I would remind him the agreement and the fact that this is NSA arrangement. Also, I'd give him a warning that, if he continues to disrespect your wishes and the boundaries you set together with him, you would have to move on and find someone who would respect them.

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By *amesnplanesMan
over a year ago

Banbridge

Perhaps just be straight forward and state you're seeking other new friends and experiences.

Close by stating a reply to your message is not necessary.

There is a fine line between post play sensitive and being a Klingon!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When agreeing to meet for a second time, it's important you're both on the same page. If you communicate differently it's never going to work. People need to be cool and not blow up my phone to make me want to see them again but I also need to understand that some people need more communication than others. It's give and take really but after all boundaries have been laid out, if they can't respect it then it's time to leave it there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say twice in the weeks after is not unreasonable at the moment,after what seems to have been an enjoyable encounter on both sides. if it escalates then yes.

Would you prefer it he ghosted you ??

Just be polite and say it's good to keep in touch by we will last you know when we would like to meet up again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would say twice in the weeks after is not unreasonable at the moment,after what seems to have been an enjoyable encounter on both sides. if it escalates then yes.

Would you prefer it he ghosted you ??

Just be polite and say it's good to keep in touch by we will last you know when we would like to meet up again. "

Ah, sorry, probably wasn't clear. He's messaged us lots more than twice. Each time we tried to calm it down a bit. Eventually we subtly told him not to message, and that we'd message him. But there have been two quite sexual messages which we haven't replied to since then.

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