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Cheating Swingers - Why Should You Care!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Swinging for me is primarily about having a worthwhile sexual experience with one or many that I have a mutual attraction.

I don't see the point of passing up on such experiences because my potential playmates,male or female, are cheating on their partners.

I'm neither a marriage or relationship counselor & I've got better things to worry about than to be the world's moral compass.

I don't buy the "Do unto others as you'd like done to you" argument, because the likelihood of a future partner cheating on me has absolutely nothing to do with me meeting with someone else's cheating partner.

I'm also not naive enough to think that because a future partner doesn't cheat means he wouldn't given an assurance they wouldn't be found out.

So, is such a person really any different from someone who actually cheats?

Another argument I have is that almost every person who swings is cheating on someone. I'm talking about friends & family.

Some would rather die than have their kids, parents, siblings, etc find out about their swinging lifestyle.

Friends & family expect couples to have sex with each other. They would however find it unacceptable to learn that mummy actually loves gagging on a big fat cock while being smacked & fucked up the arse. And also that daddy actually enjoys watching her do this.

So is it okay to hide our swinging lifestyle from our friends & family because they wouldn't approve, but then worry about a man or woman having sex with someone else & keeping it from their partners?

I rest my case, and now I leave it up to all you gorgeous & clever people to tear down my arguments

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I agree with some of what you just says but for me personally I would hate to think that I had been a part of breaking up a relationship. X x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My argument is as flimsy as your moral compass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

family and friends...have no business in ur sex life...that isnt cheating..thats called privacy and respect.Please dont come out with the 'we are lying to others' nonsense.

I've stated before and will state again, I have no problems playing with or alongside people who deceive a partner...but they cannot seek 'approval' from me or anyone else..except their partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In summary .... Yes

I don't think people hide swinging from family just sex is not a shared issue. However it is different with an intimate partner. I thnk so anyway.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

And breathe...

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Is this the end of swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No child should ever know the ins and outs of their parents sex life! Even if the sex life is only ever between the 2 parents! There is no comparrision

As for cheaters, well I don't want any involvement in breaking up families and destroying innocent peoples lives thank you, especially where children are involved. If I meet a cheater then I'm just as guilty as I've allowed and encouraged them to cheat!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No child should ever know the ins and outs of their parents sex life! Even if the sex life is only ever between the 2 parents! There is no comparrision

As for cheaters, well I don't want any involvement in breaking up families and destroying innocent peoples lives thank you, especially where children are involved. If I meet a cheater then I'm just as guilty as I've allowed and encouraged them to cheat!

"

Hit the nail on the head I totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's an awful lot of justification for someone that claims not to care...

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

All I have to say is:

Nice arse Emma

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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Very well argued, and on the face of it, I can see where you are coming from.

However, you're forgetting a very powerful human emotion called JEALOUSY & an equally powerful thing called CONSCIENCE.

Those two things will continue to make it unacceptable for people to cheat & for some to find themselves unable to aid a cheating partner.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

The biggest problem you may get with playing with cheaters is their partner finding out. I don't see their partner having the _iewpoint you have done no wrong. If you did not know they had a partner fair enough you are blameless. If do know you are playing with a cheater you surely have to accept some responsibility if it all goes pear shaped.

I don't see how you can class swinging as cheating on your friend and family?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've said before & I'll say it again. Everyone on here, has their reasons for being here.

If you don't agree with a potential meets _iews or situation, there are plenty more 'swingers on Fabs', your not obilged to meet anyone, but neither do you have the right to judge anyone's life, situation or choice.

As for 'moral compass', as long as your true to your own, surely your free to live your life as you see fit, all be it within the boundaries of society's laws.

With all this in mind, if you have to seek other's approval for your own choices, then maybe you should reconsider them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely it's more about the massive amount of drama your risking more than anything else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet people, sometimes its only one off's...thats how I design myself for the use of swinging.I have no business in other peoples lives..so I wouldnt be delving so deep to find out if they were married or not.

Now if ur mainly for repeat meets, u could start classing that as some form of fb relationship...so yeah thatd probably matter in the cheating aspects.

I certainly wouldnt be determining who's married and who's not at a party/gangbang/club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I meet people, sometimes its only one off's...thats how I design myself for the use of swinging.I have no business in other peoples lives..so I wouldnt be delving so deep to find out if they were married or not.

Now if ur mainly for repeat meets, u could start classing that as some form of fb relationship...so yeah thatd probably matter in the cheating aspects.

I certainly wouldnt be determining who's married and who's not at a party/gangbang/club"

No u have to go on the basis of someone being on here/party/club etc as they are doing so cos they have partners permission or are single. Noone should be delving into anothers personal life. But if it became knowledge to u, maybe through the persons own admission, then I would back right away!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I meet people, sometimes its only one off's...thats how I design myself for the use of swinging.I have no business in other peoples lives..so I wouldnt be delving so deep to find out if they were married or not.

Now if ur mainly for repeat meets, u could start classing that as some form of fb relationship...so yeah thatd probably matter in the cheating aspects.

I certainly wouldnt be determining who's married and who's not at a party/gangbang/club

No u have to go on the basis of someone being on here/party/club etc as they are doing so cos they have partners permission or are single. Noone should be delving into anothers personal life. But if it became knowledge to u, maybe through the persons own admission, then I would back right away!

"

while ur backing away...back into my cock..I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingle!

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By *ctavius StuntMan
over a year ago

london

If you dont care why even mention it ?

I find it morally repugnent. I dont care how hot you look it makes you ugly in my eyes.

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area


"No child should ever know the ins and outs of their parents sex life! Even if the sex life is only ever between the 2 parents! There is no comparrision

As for cheaters, well I don't want any involvement in breaking up families and destroying innocent peoples lives thank you, especially where children are involved. If I meet a cheater then I'm just as guilty as I've allowed and encouraged them to cheat!

"

exactly we dont hide what we do from anyone apart from our kids... (under 11) so wouldnt be discussing our sex life no matter what it was with them..apart from them dont care who knows.. wouldn't meet a cheater dont agree with it but thats up to us..

Don't think you can compare cheaters with parents telling kids about their sex life...

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

The problem that I have encountered is their attitude towards meets.

They don't want to meet in a public place first for a safety meet.

They don't want to get a hotel in case it shows up on their joint credit card bill.

They can only meet at certain times, dictated by them, and get ratty if I'm not available.

They get possessive and jealous if I have other meets.

Obviously this is not true for all attached people, but many of the attached males I have encountered are like this.

I want swinging to be mutual - we contact when we're horny and have some time and hope the other does too. I also like to swap naughty texts and occasional pictures. I don't want to worry about the heartbreak that could be caused if the wrong person saw one of those messages.

And I never want a sobbing, angry woman calling and asking who I am.

There are plenty of genuinely single guys on here so I stay away from the attached ones. I can't guarantee I never play with them, especially not in clubs, but I prefer not too as they generally come with baggage.

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

All I see it as...... If they can lie to their partner whether it be gf or wife...... What else will they lie about to get a fuck?

Ive got no symptoms or signs but Im off to the GUM for a checkup Tuesday for my piece of mind and potential meets/partners.....

If some of these liars had something would they tell you? Theres got to be an amount of trust with some people if your either letting em into your place or goong to theirs.....

Trust to me is paramoint....... If youve not got trust what have you got??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does anyone here actually know if the person/s they are playing with are cheating, there arent any checks that can be done, even when playing with a so called couple both could be fuck buddies playing behind the respective partners backs.

And what about in swingers clubs, Does anyone ask for a marriage certificate and passports to prove..... NO! If it makes you feel good about your self to stipulate and you will not play with people like this then you are really only satisfying your own conscience, when in reality you have probably played with many people male and female playing away from home. But the sex ids great hey lol x

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"How does anyone here actually know if the person/s they are playing with are cheating, there arent any checks that can be done, even when playing with a so called couple both could be fuck buddies playing behind the respective partners backs.

And what about in swingers clubs, Does anyone ask for a marriage certificate and passports to prove..... NO! If it makes you feel good about your self to stipulate and you will not play with people like this then you are really only satisfying your own conscience, when in reality you have probably played with many people male and female playing away from home. But the sex ids great hey lol x "

You can't tell for sure all the time your right but I've had messages from people who state on their profile they aren't single so I wouldn't play with them knowing they weren't single.

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Great thread though its getting lots of replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does anyone here actually know if the person/s they are playing with are cheating, there arent any checks that can be done, even when playing with a so called couple both could be fuck buddies playing behind the respective partners backs.

And what about in swingers clubs, Does anyone ask for a marriage certificate and passports to prove..... NO! If it makes you feel good about your self to stipulate and you will not play with people like this then you are really only satisfying your own conscience, when in reality you have probably played with many people male and female playing away from home. But the sex ids great hey lol x

You can't tell for sure all the time your right but I've had messages from people who state on their profile they aren't single so I wouldn't play with them knowing they weren't single. "
so if you dont know then its ok lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/11/12 14:02:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My argument is as flimsy as your moral compass."
OOH A Moral Compass....Where can I Buy One

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"How does anyone here actually know if the person/s they are playing with are cheating, there arent any checks that can be done, even when playing with a so called couple both could be fuck buddies playing behind the respective partners backs.

And what about in swingers clubs, Does anyone ask for a marriage certificate and passports to prove..... NO! If it makes you feel good about your self to stipulate and you will not play with people like this then you are really only satisfying your own conscience, when in reality you have probably played with many people male and female playing away from home. But the sex ids great hey lol x

You can't tell for sure all the time your right but I've had messages from people who state on their profile they aren't single so I wouldn't play with them knowing they weren't single. so if you dont know then its ok lol xxx"

I didnt say that. I've turned down meets because I knew they were in a relationship. Some people get married then find out their husband/wife is already married so you can never be 100% about anything. If I have even the slightest doubt that someone was in a relationship I wouldn't go ahead.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I actually don't care but the simpering bleating justifications do my nut in.. usually linked to the failings in their partners who are absent from here and unable to give both sides.

you need your hole at any cost, we get it.... just do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does anyone here actually know if the person/s they are playing with are cheating, there arent any checks that can be done, even when playing with a so called couple both could be fuck buddies playing behind the respective partners backs.

And what about in swingers clubs, Does anyone ask for a marriage certificate and passports to prove..... NO! If it makes you feel good about your self to stipulate and you will not play with people like this then you are really only satisfying your own conscience, when in reality you have probably played with many people male and female playing away from home. But the sex ids great hey lol x "

Excellent thread OP!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You cannot compare cheating to not telling family what/where/when/who you have sex with its simply just not in the same boat and equally who wants to no they have split a family up or have someones angry wife/husband turn up on your doorstep, yes you can say that said person is taking the risk and not you but indeed you are part of it and my book we all have a moral duty to try our best to do the right thing and helping someone to cheat is definatly not the right thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does anyone here actually know if the person/s they are playing with are cheating, there arent any checks that can be done, even when playing with a so called couple both could be fuck buddies playing behind the respective partners backs.

And what about in swingers clubs, Does anyone ask for a marriage certificate and passports to prove..... NO! If it makes you feel good about your self to stipulate and you will not play with people like this then you are really only satisfying your own conscience, when in reality you have probably played with many people male and female playing away from home. But the sex ids great hey lol x "

Er exactly what people r saying.. If u don't know they're attached then ur not at fault

We r only talking about if u know the person is attached

Stick with the debate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See swinging for me is a mutual respect and open sexual exploration..

ie a couple, both know and both agree to the swinging.

Cheating is just that,cheating; no mutual respect, no open sexual exploration & If the other half found out, they'd be hurt.

I'm a swinger, out to explore fantasy and Im not just a **** who will play with anyone, My conscience is my guide.

I am an adult and take responsibility for my actions,

Doing someone else's husband, knowing they didnt know Is not something I am interested in at all

Lol at sharing swinging with my kids, I'll just stick them on hamster now shall I They are so young they'd be dissapointed not to see little fluffy things in wheels

Annnnd most of my friends are swingers or in the bdsm lifestyle and my Mum knows I swing,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All I have to say is:

Nice arse Emma "

^^^^^ made me giggle.....

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"How does anyone here actually know if the person/s they are playing with are cheating, there arent any checks that can be done, even when playing with a so called couple both could be fuck buddies playing behind the respective partners backs.

And what about in swingers clubs, Does anyone ask for a marriage certificate and passports to prove..... NO! If it makes you feel good about your self to stipulate and you will not play with people like this then you are really only satisfying your own conscience, when in reality you have probably played with many people male and female playing away from home. But the sex ids great hey lol x "

Only phones between 9-5 Monday to Friday - phone turned off outside "office hourse".

Can only meet during daytime, and asks you not to wear perfume, scented soap etc. Has a near heart attack if you mark them.

Carries own shower gel for afterwards.

Clock watches - and you need to wear a haz mat suit, have full screen test including haemoglobin count before they even kiss you...think the married men are pretty easy to spot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does anyone here actually know if the person/s they are playing with are cheating, there arent any checks that can be done, even when playing with a so called couple both could be fuck buddies playing behind the respective partners backs.

And what about in swingers clubs, Does anyone ask for a marriage certificate and passports to prove..... NO! If it makes you feel good about your self to stipulate and you will not play with people like this then you are really only satisfying your own conscience, when in reality you have probably played with many people male and female playing away from home. But the sex ids great hey lol x

Excellent thread OP! "

Noone has stated u need to proove ur single! Only if u are aware the person is attached! Read the replies properly - this post has no relevance to what is being said and certainly makes no arguement as to why it is ok to meet if u know they r attached

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i initially felt the same way as you about the cheating..but gradually i realised there was an unpleasant feeling left for me when they go back to their happy little lie of a life and pretend i dont exist.

I had an unhappy marriage with virtually no sex.i couldnt bear the idea of cheating.I had respect for him as a person.

so we split,and i started swinging.It was all very unpleasant at the time but at least i can still be friends with my ex now and look him in the eye without feeling guilty.

So when i went to that length to avoid cheating due to my own conscience and moral compass i feel justified in feeling that the ones who are cheating in swinging are not the nicest or most trustworthy of people.

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk


"Swinging for me is primarily about having a worthwhile sexual experience with one or many that I have a mutual attraction.

I don't see the point of passing up on such experiences because my potential playmates,male or female, are cheating on their partners.

I'm neither a marriage or relationship counselor & I've got better things to worry about than to be the world's moral compass.

I don't buy the "Do unto others as you'd like done to you" argument, because the likelihood of a future partner cheating on me has absolutely nothing to do with me meeting with someone else's cheating partner.

I'm also not naive enough to think that because a future partner doesn't cheat means he wouldn't given an assurance they wouldn't be found out.

So, is such a person really any different from someone who actually cheats?

Another argument I have is that almost every person who swings is cheating on someone. I'm talking about friends & family.

Some would rather die than have their kids, parents, siblings, etc find out about their swinging lifestyle.

Friends & family expect couples to have sex with each other. They would however find it unacceptable to learn that mummy actually loves gagging on a big fat cock while being smacked & fucked up the arse. And also that daddy actually enjoys watching her do this.

So is it okay to hide our swinging lifestyle from our friends & family because they wouldn't approve, but then worry about a man or woman having sex with someone else & keeping it from their partners?

I rest my case, and now I leave it up to all you gorgeous & clever people to tear down my arguments "

I agree. Not my problem if they are cheating. Several of my and my wife's FBs are married or with partners that don't know they are cheating. Also I like trying to persuade the female of a couple to meet me behind partners back as I find it v exciting g. Am suprised how many agree to do so. Each to their own though.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc."

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I've never cheated on a partner before and would be uneasy about it on here with a married lady. I have chatted and flirted with a few martied ladies on Fab, but I would avoid playing.

As far as telling family, no way. I dont want to know about their sex lives so I certainly won't share mine. My ex-wife vaguely knows I have some sort of NSA thing with various ladies, but that's about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince"

ooh,i hadnt thought of it like that..yes you have a point!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Zzzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzz

Sorry what was question ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Swinging for me is primarily about having a worthwhile sexual experience with one or many that I have a mutual attraction.

I don't see the point of passing up on such experiences because my potential playmates,male or female, are cheating on their partners.

I'm neither a marriage or relationship counselor & I've got better things to worry about than to be the world's moral compass.

I don't buy the "Do unto others as you'd like done to you" argument, because the likelihood of a future partner cheating on me has absolutely nothing to do with me meeting with someone else's cheating partner.

I'm also not naive enough to think that because a future partner doesn't cheat means he wouldn't given an assurance they wouldn't be found out.

So, is such a person really any different from someone who actually cheats?

Another argument I have is that almost every person who swings is cheating on someone. I'm talking about friends & family.

Some would rather die than have their kids, parents, siblings, etc find out about their swinging lifestyle.

Friends & family expect couples to have sex with each other. They would however find it unacceptable to learn that mummy actually loves gagging on a big fat cock while being smacked & fucked up the arse. And also that daddy actually enjoys watching her do this.

So is it okay to hide our swinging lifestyle from our friends & family because they wouldn't approve, but then worry about a man or woman having sex with someone else & keeping it from their partners?

I rest my case, and now I leave it up to all you gorgeous & clever people to tear down my arguments

I agree. Not my problem if they are cheating. Several of my and my wife's FBs are married or with partners that don't know they are cheating. Also I like trying to persuade the female of a couple to meet me behind partners back as I find it v exciting g. Am suprised how many agree to do so. Each to their own though.

Steve"

the exact words of a cheat - cheats play with cheats as they have no compassion for anyone but themselves, sod anyone elses feelings or lives! its all about out for yourself and ur needs XD

bet the story would be different if the tables were turned on these cheats!

there r plenty of singles to play with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince"

Don't confuse legality with morality.

By the same conclusions, if you are a swinger you are encouraging and aiding in promiscuity which lowers the moral standards in society which encourages cheating and therefore you too are encouraging cheating. The fact is, that you don't encourage someone to cheat, they decide to do it, if they are unable to make decisions, then you shouldn't be having sex with them at all!

I'm afraid, what's being said takes the choice away from the person cheating. It is their choice to do so, not yours. It is your choice whether to take part in the process, not theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince

Don't confuse legality with morality.

By the same conclusions, if you are a swinger you are encouraging and aiding in promiscuity which lowers the moral standards in society which encourages cheating and therefore you too are encouraging cheating. The fact is, that you don't encourage someone to cheat, they decide to do it, if they are unable to make decisions, then you shouldn't be having sex with them at all!

I'm afraid, what's being said takes the choice away from the person cheating. It is their choice to do so, not yours. It is your choice whether to take part in the process, not theirs. "

it is their choice.. and it is my choice to not want to be a part of what they are doing.. exactly what i ahve been saying..

but if u sleep with a cheating and know they are cheating.. then you have some responsibility towards innocent parties getting affected by the cheaters actions as u have been the tool to their cheating..

if ur partner was cheating with mrs A and Mrs a new he had a wife.. would u not lay any blame at Mrs A's feet for what your husband has been doing??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince

Don't confuse legality with morality.

By the same conclusions, if you are a swinger you are encouraging and aiding in promiscuity which lowers the moral standards in society which encourages cheating and therefore you too are encouraging cheating. The fact is, that you don't encourage someone to cheat, they decide to do it, if they are unable to make decisions, then you shouldn't be having sex with them at all!

I'm afraid, what's being said takes the choice away from the person cheating. It is their choice to do so, not yours. It is your choice whether to take part in the process, not theirs.

it is their choice.. and it is my choice to not want to be a part of what they are doing.. exactly what i ahve been saying..

but if u sleep with a cheating and know they are cheating.. then you have some responsibility towards innocent parties getting affected by the cheaters actions as u have been the tool to their cheating..

if ur partner was cheating with mrs A and Mrs a new he had a wife.. would u not lay any blame at Mrs A's feet for what your husband has been doing??"

Nope, why should I? She or He has marital agreement with me. The reality is that I didn't marry the other person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your partner is having an affair or cheating, the other person hasn't stolen them from you, your partner has chosen of their own free will to go with their mistress/boyfriend (or indeed both). This bizare concept that the mistress has responsibility makes the whole thing feel a bit like Jeremy Kyle I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with you, completely.

I just think that people should be honest with the guy/girl they want to fuck.

That's all

K.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince

Don't confuse legality with morality.

By the same conclusions, if you are a swinger you are encouraging and aiding in promiscuity which lowers the moral standards in society which encourages cheating and therefore you too are encouraging cheating. The fact is, that you don't encourage someone to cheat, they decide to do it, if they are unable to make decisions, then you shouldn't be having sex with them at all!

I'm afraid, what's being said takes the choice away from the person cheating. It is their choice to do so, not yours. It is your choice whether to take part in the process, not theirs.

it is their choice.. and it is my choice to not want to be a part of what they are doing.. exactly what i ahve been saying..

but if u sleep with a cheating and know they are cheating.. then you have some responsibility towards innocent parties getting affected by the cheaters actions as u have been the tool to their cheating..

if ur partner was cheating with mrs A and Mrs a new he had a wife.. would u not lay any blame at Mrs A's feet for what your husband has been doing??

Nope, why should I? She or He has marital agreement with me. The reality is that I didn't marry the other person."

no u didnt.. but u dont have to be married to someone to show compassion to others.. thats what makes a selfless caring person XD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your partner is having an affair or cheating, the other person hasn't stolen them from you, your partner has chosen of their own free will to go with their mistress/boyfriend (or indeed both). This bizare concept that the mistress has responsibility makes the whole thing feel a bit like Jeremy Kyle I'm afraid."

yes it is mainly the partners fault.. but a degree of blame lays at the feet of the mistress if she knows they are lying to a partner.. its called being responsiable for ur own actions in life..

everytime the mistress who knows is sleeping with ur husband she is sticking 2 fingers up at u and saying pfft what do i care about u, ur life, ur feelings, why should i care if u have a break down, ur kids are affected for life by this.. very selfish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince

Don't confuse legality with morality.

By the same conclusions, if you are a swinger you are encouraging and aiding in promiscuity which lowers the moral standards in society which encourages cheating and therefore you too are encouraging cheating. The fact is, that you don't encourage someone to cheat, they decide to do it, if they are unable to make decisions, then you shouldn't be having sex with them at all!

I'm afraid, what's being said takes the choice away from the person cheating. It is their choice to do so, not yours. It is your choice whether to take part in the process, not theirs.

it is their choice.. and it is my choice to not want to be a part of what they are doing.. exactly what i ahve been saying..

but if u sleep with a cheating and know they are cheating.. then you have some responsibility towards innocent parties getting affected by the cheaters actions as u have been the tool to their cheating..

if ur partner was cheating with mrs A and Mrs a new he had a wife.. would u not lay any blame at Mrs A's feet for what your husband has been doing??

Nope, why should I? She or He has marital agreement with me. The reality is that I didn't marry the other person.

no u didnt.. but u dont have to be married to someone to show compassion to others.. thats what makes a selfless caring person XD"

oh and u have to take responsibilty for ur actions in all walks of ur life.. if someone throws a banana skin on the floor thats ok cos if an old lady slipped on it and broke her hip, what would it matter they dont know the old lady and have to ties with her.. not their problem.

if u accidently discard ur fag end into a pile of papers outside ur house, pfft who cares aint ur house burning down!

not so nice when ur on the receiving end of someone elses lack of regard for others tho!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince

Don't confuse legality with morality.

By the same conclusions, if you are a swinger you are encouraging and aiding in promiscuity which lowers the moral standards in society which encourages cheating and therefore you too are encouraging cheating. The fact is, that you don't encourage someone to cheat, they decide to do it, if they are unable to make decisions, then you shouldn't be having sex with them at all!

I'm afraid, what's being said takes the choice away from the person cheating. It is their choice to do so, not yours. It is your choice whether to take part in the process, not theirs.

it is their choice.. and it is my choice to not want to be a part of what they are doing.. exactly what i ahve been saying..

but if u sleep with a cheating and know they are cheating.. then you have some responsibility towards innocent parties getting affected by the cheaters actions as u have been the tool to their cheating..

if ur partner was cheating with mrs A and Mrs a new he had a wife.. would u not lay any blame at Mrs A's feet for what your husband has been doing??

Nope, why should I? She or He has marital agreement with me. The reality is that I didn't marry the other person.

no u didnt.. but u dont have to be married to someone to show compassion to others.. thats what makes a selfless caring person XD

oh and u have to take responsibilty for ur actions in all walks of ur life.. if someone throws a banana skin on the floor thats ok cos if an old lady slipped on it and broke her hip, what would it matter they dont know the old lady and have to ties with her.. not their problem.

if u accidently discard ur fag end into a pile of papers outside ur house, pfft who cares aint ur house burning down!

not so nice when ur on the receiving end of someone elses lack of regard for others tho!"

treat others the way u would want to be treated.. isnt that a great saying XD

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

oh and u have to take responsibilty for ur actions in all walks of ur life.. if someone throws a banana skin on the floor thats ok cos if an old lady slipped on it and broke her hip, what would it matter they dont know the old lady and have to ties with her.. not their problem.

if u accidently discard ur fag end into a pile of papers outside ur house, pfft who cares aint ur house burning down!

not so nice when ur on the receiving end of someone elses lack of regard for others tho!"

I'm afraid those sort of highlight my point.

The person (cheater) throwing the banana is responsible, not the person selling it or producing it.

The person throwing the fag end (the cheater) is responsible not marlboro or the tree for dropping leaves.

The person doing those things isn't mostly responsible, they're totally responsible for what has gone on. If you have had a partner cheat on you then I'm sorry, but it was only your partners fault, no one elses. They choose to take it out of their pants and allowing the blame to be put partially on the person they've had sex with is absolving your partner of some of the responsibility for what they did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

oh and u have to take responsibilty for ur actions in all walks of ur life.. if someone throws a banana skin on the floor thats ok cos if an old lady slipped on it and broke her hip, what would it matter they dont know the old lady and have to ties with her.. not their problem.

if u accidently discard ur fag end into a pile of papers outside ur house, pfft who cares aint ur house burning down!

not so nice when ur on the receiving end of someone elses lack of regard for others tho!

I'm afraid those sort of highlight my point.

The person (cheater) throwing the banana is responsible, not the person selling it or producing it.

The person throwing the fag end (the cheater) is responsible not marlboro or the tree for dropping leaves.

The person doing those things isn't mostly responsible, they're totally responsible for what has gone on. If you have had a partner cheat on you then I'm sorry, but it was only your partners fault, no one elses. They choose to take it out of their pants and allowing the blame to be put partially on the person they've had sex with is absolving your partner of some of the responsibility for what they did. "

I've never had a partner cheat that know of, every relationship I've had is cos I ended it

Ok so if u saw someone throw the banana and saw the old lady then approaching and the accident about to happen but just sat back and thought, oh well not my problem, u wouldn't have any blame in it?

If u saw that a persons fag had started a small fire but just walked away and didn't call 999 then not ur fault their house burnt down

U didn't throw the banana skin away and u didn't throw the fag on the papers.. U could of stopped both events occuring but choose not to as its not ur problem?

If ur house burnt down and u found out someone could of stopped it but they choose not to, u wouldn't blame them u would solely blame the person who threw the fag away?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U don't have the power to stop those people throwing away banana skins and fags with no regard, but u do have the power to do ur part to stop the devestation it causes to innocent parties

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Just quickly scanned this thread. Brenda most of the posts are yours! Are you debating this with yourself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just quickly scanned this thread. Brenda most of the posts are yours! Are you debating this with yourself? "

Haha nah get distracted by said 5 year old and forget all what's I was gonna put, then after I have posted I go doh! That's why I have put so many typos too XD

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham

Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"U don't have the power to stop those people throwing away banana skins and fags with no regard, but u do have the power to do ur part to stop the devestation it causes to innocent parties"

I'm afraid these things don't really match. In one you're talking about relationships in one you're talking about deaths. If I see a person I don't know throwing a flaming item into a bunch of leaves outside a house which starts a fire, then of course I'm going to intervene. If I see someone cheating on someone else, then I'm afraid I'm not going to intervene. That doesn't make the cheating my fault or even my responsibility, it makes it the cheaters responsibility. People cheat, lots of them do on a fairly regular basis and loads of them are probably here. I don't judge people on their morals and I don't assume that if someone is cheating that they are the only guilty party. I'm afraid I'm going to have to stick with my _iew that someone who cheats makes their own choices and has to deal with the consequences of that cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

"

Yh the point is if u know they are attached.. If they lie ur not at blame r u XD

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

"

Tan lines.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

Yh the point is if u know they are attached.. If they lie ur not at blame r u XD"

Hang on just a cotton pickin minute! You can't have it both ways.

If it breaks up a relationship then (by your reckoning) you'd be responsible, but not if you didn't know? You'd surely still be responsible for the innocent and devastation and other stuff you said but I've forgotten due to my dementia.

The only way to truly not be involved in a potential break up is to refrain from sleeping with "single men" without their partner there and/or a signed afidavit (witnessed by an independent 3rd party such as their mother in law) saying it's ok and they fully consent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"U don't have the power to stop those people throwing away banana skins and fags with no regard, but u do have the power to do ur part to stop the devestation it causes to innocent parties

I'm afraid these things don't really match. In one you're talking about relationships in one you're talking about deaths. If I see a person I don't know throwing a flaming item into a bunch of leaves outside a house which starts a fire, then of course I'm going to intervene. If I see someone cheating on someone else, then I'm afraid I'm not going to intervene. That doesn't make the cheating my fault or even my responsibility, it makes it the cheaters responsibility. People cheat, lots of them do on a fairly regular basis and loads of them are probably here. I don't judge people on their morals and I don't assume that if someone is cheating that they are the only guilty party. I'm afraid I'm going to have to stick with my _iew that someone who cheats makes their own choices and has to deal with the consequences of that cheating."

I never said anyone would die in the fire.. But how do u know the cheated partner won't end up committing suicide over it? U can't stop a cheater cheating but u don't have to be a part of it!

If u were with a group of people who started saying they were going to go and shout abuse at people just to upset them, u have the choice to walk away and not be a part of it or u could be a small part of it by handing them a megaphone to do it with..

Adultry used to be a crime in this country and still is in other countries.. Is it really just the husband that just gets done for the crime? No a knowing mistress is to.

Cheating is a crime against the cheaters partner, it will have the same affect as a crime as it destroys lives, just the same as having ur house burgled affects the victims, so therefore abetting a crime is a crime too as u have helped the person to commit the crime even tho u didn't do it urself.. If u were involved cos the criminal lied to u then u r innocent.

Its all about showing compassion to others, if this world was more compassionate then it would be a better place.

Don't do unto others what u don't want done to u XD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I actually don't care but the simpering bleating justifications do my nut in.. usually linked to the failings in their partners who are absent from here and unable to give both sides.

you need your hole at any cost, we get it.... just do it."

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

Yh the point is if u know they are attached.. If they lie ur not at blame r u XD

Hang on just a cotton pickin minute! You can't have it both ways.

If it breaks up a relationship then (by your reckoning) you'd be responsible, but not if you didn't know? You'd surely still be responsible for the innocent and devastation and other stuff you said but I've forgotten due to my dementia.

The only way to truly not be involved in a potential break up is to refrain from sleeping with "single men" without their partner there and/or a signed afidavit (witnessed by an independent 3rd party such as their mother in law) saying it's ok and they fully consent"

Exactly...

If a couple ask a guy round for a MMF, how do they know he isn't married ? Cos he says he isn't ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then there are the women who aren't swingers yet "get off" on being homewreckers.

I went with a woman once who openly said "if a man's not good enough for another woman, he's not good enough for me".

In other words, she only went after men in relationships!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

Yh the point is if u know they are attached.. If they lie ur not at blame r u XD

Hang on just a cotton pickin minute! You can't have it both ways.

If it breaks up a relationship then (by your reckoning) you'd be responsible, but not if you didn't know? You'd surely still be responsible for the innocent and devastation and other stuff you said but I've forgotten due to my dementia.

The only way to truly not be involved in a potential break up is to refrain from sleeping with "single men" without their partner there and/or a signed afidavit (witnessed by an independent 3rd party such as their mother in law) saying it's ok and they fully consent"

So if someone married lies and says they are single u r meant to go and get police checks and things to make sure? If u don't know u can't be a part of it!

If a someone asked u to buy a hammer while u popped down b and q as they had some paintings to hang, but then transpired they murdered their wife with it, would u be at fault for buying them the hammer? No but if they said they wanted the hammer to kill their wife u would be to blame too!

U can't be blamed for something u have no knowledge of!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Swinging for me is primarily about having a worthwhile sexual experience with one or many that I have a mutual attraction.

I don't see the point of passing up on such experiences because my potential playmates,male or female, are cheating on their partners.

I'm neither a marriage or relationship counselor & I've got better things to worry about than to be the world's moral compass.

I don't buy the "Do unto others as you'd like done to you" argument, because the likelihood of a future partner cheating on me has absolutely nothing to do with me meeting with someone else's cheating partner.

I'm also not naive enough to think that because a future partner doesn't cheat means he wouldn't given an assurance they wouldn't be found out.

So, is such a person really any different from someone who actually cheats?

Another argument I have is that almost every person who swings is cheating on someone. I'm talking about friends & family.

Some would rather die than have their kids, parents, siblings, etc find out about their swinging lifestyle.

Friends & family expect couples to have sex with each other. They would however find it unacceptable to learn that mummy actually loves gagging on a big fat cock while being smacked & fucked up the arse. And also that daddy actually enjoys watching her do this.

So is it okay to hide our swinging lifestyle from our friends & family because they wouldn't approve, but then worry about a man or woman having sex with someone else & keeping it from their partners?

I rest my case, and now I leave it up to all you gorgeous & clever people to tear down my arguments "

a lot of people will find it offensive for you to put the words "cheating" and "swinging" together.......

so if it helps you to put both together to justify your position... bully for you....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating Swingers - Why Should You Care!

...because if we don't it makes us no better than animals and it makes the act of sex cold and meaningless.

Our ability to exercise choice and to recognise the difference between right and wrong sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.

A few more people on Fab should flex their brains instead of certain other muscles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crime?

I have just looked right through the sex offenders act on line and its not mentioned

think that's a little strong

if you don't like don't Do

life is too short for the worry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

Yh the point is if u know they are attached.. If they lie ur not at blame r u XD

Hang on just a cotton pickin minute! You can't have it both ways.

If it breaks up a relationship then (by your reckoning) you'd be responsible, but not if you didn't know? You'd surely still be responsible for the innocent and devastation and other stuff you said but I've forgotten due to my dementia.

The only way to truly not be involved in a potential break up is to refrain from sleeping with "single men" without their partner there and/or a signed afidavit (witnessed by an independent 3rd party such as their mother in law) saying it's ok and they fully consent

Exactly...

If a couple ask a guy round for a MMF, how do they know he isn't married ? Cos he says he isn't ? "

The point is u have the choice to be a part of something if u know about it.. If u don't then u have no power or choice over the situation.. Is it that hard to fatham? Yes u would still be a part of it but no court is going to find u guilty of something u have no knowledge of!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crime?

I have just looked right through the sex offenders act on line and its not mentioned

think that's a little strong

if you don't like don't Do

life is too short for the worry

"

I said it was a crime in this country, u need to check the history books not the sex offenders list! Still a crime in other countries..

But times move on and marriage is no longer _iewed in the same sacred way it used to be

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

Yh the point is if u know they are attached.. If they lie ur not at blame r u XD

Hang on just a cotton pickin minute! You can't have it both ways.

If it breaks up a relationship then (by your reckoning) you'd be responsible, but not if you didn't know? You'd surely still be responsible for the innocent and devastation and other stuff you said but I've forgotten due to my dementia.

The only way to truly not be involved in a potential break up is to refrain from sleeping with "single men" without their partner there and/or a signed afidavit (witnessed by an independent 3rd party such as their mother in law) saying it's ok and they fully consent

Exactly...

If a couple ask a guy round for a MMF, how do they know he isn't married ? Cos he says he isn't ?

The point is u have the choice to be a part of something if u know about it.. If u don't then u have no power or choice over the situation.. Is it that hard to fatham? Yes u would still be a part of it but no court is going to find u guilty of something u have no knowledge of! "

So the trick is ... Don't ask them if they're married ! Thanks for the tip

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"Crime?

I have just looked right through the sex offenders act on line and its not mentioned

think that's a little strong

if you don't like don't Do

life is too short for the worry

I said it was a crime in this country, u need to check the history books not the sex offenders list! Still a crime in other countries..

But times move on and marriage is no longer _iewed in the same sacred way it used to be"

Thank the Lord x

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By *itboyslim2Man
over a year ago

stevenage


"All I have to say is:

Nice arse Emma "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Long thread and maybe already been asked and answered....

How are we to tell if a guy is married or not ?

If I invited 8 guys to a gangbang and all have them have removed their wedding rings how do I suss the married ones out from the unmarried ones ?

Yh the point is if u know they are attached.. If they lie ur not at blame r u XD

Hang on just a cotton pickin minute! You can't have it both ways.

If it breaks up a relationship then (by your reckoning) you'd be responsible, but not if you didn't know? You'd surely still be responsible for the innocent and devastation and other stuff you said but I've forgotten due to my dementia.

The only way to truly not be involved in a potential break up is to refrain from sleeping with "single men" without their partner there and/or a signed afidavit (witnessed by an independent 3rd party such as their mother in law) saying it's ok and they fully consent

Exactly...

If a couple ask a guy round for a MMF, how do they know he isn't married ? Cos he says he isn't ?

The point is u have the choice to be a part of something if u know about it.. If u don't then u have no power or choice over the situation.. Is it that hard to fatham? Yes u would still be a part of it but no court is going to find u guilty of something u have no knowledge of!

So the trick is ... Don't ask them if they're married ! Thanks for the tip "

The point is, as said before, if someone states they are married or tells u on their own accord then u know what u are doing and being apart of.. But u have to assume that guys are here cos they can be not cos they are deceiving partners..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem that I have encountered is their attitude towards meets.

They don't want to meet in a public place first for a safety meet.

They don't want to get a hotel in case it shows up on their joint credit card bill.

They can only meet at certain times, dictated by them, and get ratty if I'm not available.

They get possessive and jealous if I have other meets.

Obviously this is not true for all attached people, but many of the attached males I have encountered are like this.

I want swinging to be mutual - we contact when we're horny and have some time and hope the other does too. I also like to swap naughty texts and occasional pictures. I don't want to worry about the heartbreak that could be caused if the wrong person saw one of those messages.

And I never want a sobbing, angry woman calling and asking who I am.

There are plenty of genuinely single guys on here so I stay away from the attached ones. I can't guarantee I never play with them, especially not in clubs, but I prefer not too as they generally come with baggage."

Couldn't agree more with this post!

I find that the people who say they don't care whether someone cheats has never suffered the hurt of being cheated on. And I would always doubt the morality of the person who condones cheating as well as the cheater

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham

"I find that the people who say they don't care whether someone cheats has never suffered the hurt of being cheated on"

I couldn't disagree more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I find that the people who say they don't care whether someone cheats has never suffered the hurt of being cheated on"

I couldn't disagree more "

I've never experienced the huirt of being cheated on, but its common knowledge through media how it destroys lives! I would never want to purposely inflict such a thing on others, in any aspect of life! Its called caring about others and not just urself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thing is though that whilst no-one knows about me swinging, I am not deceiving or cheating on anyone so it isn't a big deal whereas cheating on your partner is. Up to people if they do it but I won't meet anyone that is, if the partner finds out its two families destroyed so to speak, whereas at the moment its only one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Then there are the women who aren't swingers yet "get off" on being homewreckers.

I went with a woman once who openly said "if a man's not good enough for another woman, he's not good enough for me".

In other words, she only went after men in relationships! "

And of course some women want what other women have and are not prepared to find their own man, I am referring there though to those women who are mistresses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Then there are the women who aren't swingers yet "get off" on being homewreckers.

I went with a woman once who openly said "if a man's not good enough for another woman, he's not good enough for me".

In other words, she only went after men in relationships!

And of course some women want what other women have and are not prepared to find their own man, I am referring there though to those women who are mistresses"

Yp selfish woman

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Can't we all just get along, the cheaters and the swingers

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth


"Swinging for me is primarily about having a worthwhile sexual experience with one or many that I have a mutual attraction.

I don't see the point of passing up on such experiences because my potential playmates,male or female, are cheating on their partners.

I'm neither a marriage or relationship counselor & I've got better things to worry about than to be the world's moral compass.

I don't buy the "Do unto others as you'd like done to you" argument, because the likelihood of a future partner cheating on me has absolutely nothing to do with me meeting with someone else's cheating partner.

I'm also not naive enough to think that because a future partner doesn't cheat means he wouldn't given an assurance they wouldn't be found out.

So, is such a person really any different from someone who actually cheats?

Another argument I have is that almost every person who swings is cheating on someone. I'm talking about friends & family.

Some would rather die than have their kids, parents, siblings, etc find out about their swinging lifestyle.

Friends & family expect couples to have sex with each other. They would however find it unacceptable to learn that mummy actually loves gagging on a big fat cock while being smacked & fucked up the arse. And also that daddy actually enjoys watching her do this.

So is it okay to hide our swinging lifestyle from our friends & family because they wouldn't approve, but then worry about a man or woman having sex with someone else & keeping it from their partners?

I rest my case, and now I leave it up to all you gorgeous & clever people to tear down my arguments

a lot of people will find it offensive for you to put the words "cheating" and "swinging" together.......

so if it helps you to put both together to justify your position... bully for you.... "
giz a rest mate! Seems like you haven't gotten over the hurt.. Boo hoo! I've never been cheated on, well at least to my knowledge, because I always do the dumping

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk


"Swinging for me is primarily about having a worthwhile sexual experience with one or many that I have a mutual attraction.

I don't see the point of passing up on such experiences because my potential playmates,male or female, are cheating on their partners.

I'm neither a marriage or relationship counselor & I've got better things to worry about than to be the world's moral compass.

I don't buy the "Do unto others as you'd like done to you" argument, because the likelihood of a future partner cheating on me has absolutely nothing to do with me meeting with someone else's cheating partner.

I'm also not naive enough to think that because a future partner doesn't cheat means he wouldn't given an assurance they wouldn't be found out.

So, is such a person really any different from someone who actually cheats?

Another argument I have is that almost every person who swings is cheating on someone. I'm talking about friends & family.

Some would rather die than have their kids, parents, siblings, etc find out about their swinging lifestyle.

Friends & family expect couples to have sex with each other. They would however find it unacceptable to learn that mummy actually loves gagging on a big fat cock while being smacked & fucked up the arse. And also that daddy actually enjoys watching her do this.

So is it okay to hide our swinging lifestyle from our friends & family because they wouldn't approve, but then worry about a man or woman having sex with someone else & keeping it from their partners?

I rest my case, and now I leave it up to all you gorgeous & clever people to tear down my arguments

I agree. Not my problem if they are cheating. Several of my and my wife's FBs are married or with partners that don't know they are cheating. Also I like trying to persuade the female of a couple to meet me behind partners back as I find it v exciting g. Am suprised how many agree to do so. Each to their own though.

Steve

the exact words of a cheat - cheats play with cheats as they have no compassion for anyone but themselves, sod anyone elses feelings or lives! its all about out for yourself and ur needs XD

bet the story would be different if the tables were turned on these cheats!

there r plenty of singles to play with

"

But I don't cheat on my wife she knows fully about it. Far as I'm am concerned its the other party cheating. It is her choice as an adult.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can't we all just get along, the cheaters and the swingers "

Yay to that! I don't judge and don't expect to be judged ...... Opens the floodgates for all ye to judge me

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"Can't we all just get along, the cheaters and the swingers "

I get along with both the swingers and the cheaters

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

So what if that's your thing, you like fuckin' the marrieds... To that I say ROCK n ROLL!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't care...

Then ended up with a stalker and a restraining order against an FBs wife...

I now only play with people who are not married

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"I didn't care...

Then ended up with a stalker and a restraining order against an FBs wife...

I now only play with people who are not married "

What steps do you take to make sure they're not married?

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth


"I didn't care...

Then ended up with a stalker and a restraining order against an FBs wife...

I now only play with people who are not married "
i'll bring out the violins now

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

For me my decision not to knowingly meet and/or play is not about a moral landscape.

It is a result of considering the risk, even if it is infinitesimally small, of being at the receiving end of a phone call from a hitherto unsuspecting partner.

I completely understand, and empathise with people who need to have a sex life outside their marriage/ relationship and I would not dream of judging anybody. There are, in my _iew, many good reasons why people seek this.

I just dont want to be part of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a world of difference between swinging and cheating which has already been said loads of times in this thread and basically what it comes down to is some people will actively look and play with married men and women ...others will not meet them as its seen to be part of the cheating going on.

I dont knowingly meet with married people but since the last time a very pissed off wife rang me asking "who the f**k i was meeting her husband" etc then i wont be telling any lies for them and will direct them straight to that persons profile and let the partner being cheated on decide for themselves if they want to carry on being married

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This post is not about justifying anything. Neither is it about seeking validation or approval of my _iews as anyone with half a brain cell should know. I know people see it differently from me & I was sort of hoping they'd tell us why? Just as I did in my OP.

I still say that I don't see the point of getting myself into a moral quagmire over the fidelity of my playmates when swinging is such a fleeting experience. Most of my swinging experiences are for the moment. I'm not particularly interested in the personal lives of my playmates because they'd play no significant part in my life after they leave. I wish everyone well in life but I can't make myself responsible for the consequences of the choices that adults make.

If a man makes a conscious decision to be unfaithful, fully understanding the risks to his monogamous relationship, that's a matter for him, his partner & who or whatever he calls God, if he has one. It's got nothing to do with me. In other words, whether it is with me, another swinger or a prostitute, a man who has decided to stray will do so. So what good will it have done me, or the man's marriage, if I pass up an opportunity for great sex, if he meets with someone else next week and gets found out? The warm feeling in my heart that I sustained his marriage for an extra week?

I fully respect those who make a choice not to meet with cheating swingers, whatever their reasons may be. If you'd rather not risk getting a call from a heartbroken wife, that's a valid reason. Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her.

I just happen to think that life is too short and considering the lifestyle we lead, it's not worth getting into a moral dilemma over someone else's private affairs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This post is not about justifying anything. Neither is it about seeking validation or approval of my _iews as anyone with half a brain cell should know. I know people see it differently from me & I was sort of hoping they'd tell us why? Just as I did in my OP.

I still say that I don't see the point of getting myself into a moral quagmire over the fidelity of my playmates when swinging is such a fleeting experience. Most of my swinging experiences are for the moment. I'm not particularly interested in the personal lives of my playmates because they'd play no significant part in my life after they leave. I wish everyone well in life but I can't make myself responsible for the consequences of the choices that adults make.

If a man makes a conscious decision to be unfaithful, fully understanding the risks to his monogamous relationship, that's a matter for him, his partner & who or whatever he calls God, if he has one. It's got nothing to do with me. In other words, whether it is with me, another swinger or a prostitute, a man who has decided to stray will do so. So what good will it have done me, or the man's marriage, if I pass up an opportunity for great sex, if he meets with someone else next week and gets found out? The warm feeling in my heart that I sustained his marriage for an extra week?

I fully respect those who make a choice not to meet with cheating swingers, whatever their reasons may be. If you'd rather not risk getting a call from a heartbroken wife, that's a valid reason. Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her.

I just happen to think that life is too short and considering the lifestyle we lead, it's not worth getting into a moral dilemma over someone else's private affairs."

my wife just said on the phone "U gotta fuck that specialchick really hard, she's HOT!"...well..thats what I think she said, I was in tesco buying...fuck...forgot..in fact..how the fuck does she even know I'm on fab!..arRRrrrghhhhhhhh!

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth


"This post is not about justifying anything. Neither is it about seeking validation or approval of my _iews as anyone with half a brain cell should know. I know people see it differently from me & I was sort of hoping they'd tell us why? Just as I did in my OP.

I still say that I don't see the point of getting myself into a moral quagmire over the fidelity of my playmates when swinging is such a fleeting experience. Most of my swinging experiences are for the moment. I'm not particularly interested in the personal lives of my playmates because they'd play no significant part in my life after they leave. I wish everyone well in life but I can't make myself responsible for the consequences of the choices that adults make.

If a man makes a conscious decision to be unfaithful, fully understanding the risks to his monogamous relationship, that's a matter for him, his partner & who or whatever he calls God, if he has one. It's got nothing to do with me. In other words, whether it is with me, another swinger or a prostitute, a man who has decided to stray will do so. So what good will it have done me, or the man's marriage, if I pass up an opportunity for great sex, if he meets with someone else next week and gets found out? The warm feeling in my heart that I sustained his marriage for an extra week?

I fully respect those who make a choice not to meet with cheating swingers, whatever their reasons may be. If you'd rather not risk getting a call from a heartbroken wife, that's a valid reason. Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her.

I just happen to think that life is too short and considering the lifestyle we lead, it's not worth getting into a moral dilemma over someone else's private affairs."
well said... Deserves a standing ovation! People need to chill the f**k out and just have fun...

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham

By Special_Chick   Woman

12 minutes ago

Birmingham

This post is not about justifying anything. Neither is it about seeking validation or approval of my _iews as anyone with half a brain cell should know. I know people see it differently from me & I was sort of hoping they'd tell us why? Just as I did in my OP.

I still say that I don't see the point of getting myself into a moral quagmire over the fidelity of my playmates when swinging is such a fleeting experience. Most of my swinging experiences are for the moment. I'm not particularly interested in the personal lives of my playmates because they'd play no significant part in my life after they leave. I wish everyone well in life but I can't make myself responsible for the consequences of the choices that adults make.

If a man makes a conscious decision to be unfaithful, fully understanding the risks to his monogamous relationship, that's a matter for him, his partner & who or whatever he calls God, if he has one. It's got nothing to do with me. In other words, whether it is with me, another swinger or a prostitute, a man who has decided to stray will do so. So what good will it have done me, or the man's marriage, if I pass up an opportunity for great sex, if he meets with someone else next week and gets found out? The warm feeling in my heart that I sustained his marriage for an extra week?

I fully respect those who make a choice not to meet with cheating swingers, whatever their reasons may be. If you'd rather not risk getting a call from a heartbroken wife, that's a valid reason. Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her.

I just happen to think that life is too short and considering the lifestyle we lead, it's not worth getting into a moral dilemma over someone else's private affairs"

This^^^^^^^

All of it

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I had a hotlist cull yesterday but aaaarrggghhh.... my hotlist just grew by 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not wish to be cited as a home-breaker ever again. Hence I decided against playing with any gent that is in a significant relationship.

What others do and don't do is beyond my control and none of my business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is a difficult subject because a lot of people are here for a reason.

sexless marriage, break up of relationship and others looking just to meet for nsa (i may have missed something out).

i do not judge anyone. just go with the flow and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would not choose knowingly to play with half of a supposedly "committed" relationship, happy if they are both there.

Reasons are,

1, Why bother with potential hassle.

2, don't want the phone call when they check out strange numbers on partners phone.

3, Don't want to have playmate run off pre-orgasm as they are only supposed to be popping out for a chip run.

Saying that, if in a club we never ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This post is not about justifying anything. Neither is it about seeking validation or approval of my _iews as anyone with half a brain cell should know. I know people see it differently from me & I was sort of hoping they'd tell us why? Just as I did in my OP.

I still say that I don't see the point of getting myself into a moral quagmire over the fidelity of my playmates when swinging is such a fleeting experience. Most of my swinging experiences are for the moment. I'm not particularly interested in the personal lives of my playmates because they'd play no significant part in my life after they leave. I wish everyone well in life but I can't make myself responsible for the consequences of the choices that adults make.

If a man makes a conscious decision to be unfaithful, fully understanding the risks to his monogamous relationship, that's a matter for him, his partner & who or whatever he calls God, if he has one. It's got nothing to do with me. In other words, whether it is with me, another swinger or a prostitute, a man who has decided to stray will do so. So what good will it have done me, or the man's marriage, if I pass up an opportunity for great sex, if he meets with someone else next week and gets found out? The warm feeling in my heart that I sustained his marriage for an extra week?

I fully respect those who make a choice not to meet with cheating swingers, whatever their reasons may be. If you'd rather not risk getting a call from a heartbroken wife, that's a valid reason. Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her.

I just happen to think that life is too short and considering the lifestyle we lead, it's not worth getting into a moral dilemma over someone else's private affairs."

And especially this-


"Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By BustyBrunette35 Couple (MF) 3 hours ago

birmingham

"I didn't care...

Then ended up with a stalker and a restraining order against an FBs wife...

I now only play with people who are not married "

What steps do you take to make sure they're not married?

I ask them

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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"

3, Don't want to have playmate run off pre-orgasm as they are only supposed to be popping out for a chip run.

Saying that, if in a club we never ask."

I can see how this can be frustrating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this is a difficult subject because a lot of people are here for a reason.

sexless marriage, break up of relationship and others looking just to meet for nsa (i may have missed something out).

i do not judge anyone. just go with the flow and see what happens."

How about the best reason someone is here ...... They both know exactly when and what their partner is doing because they have no secrets between them they are both swingers and not going behind each others backs ? xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This post is not about justifying anything. Neither is it about seeking validation or approval of my _iews as anyone with half a brain cell should know. I know people see it differently from me & I was sort of hoping they'd tell us why? Just as I did in my OP.

I still say that I don't see the point of getting myself into a moral quagmire over the fidelity of my playmates when swinging is such a fleeting experience. Most of my swinging experiences are for the moment. I'm not particularly interested in the personal lives of my playmates because they'd play no significant part in my life after they leave. I wish everyone well in life but I can't make myself responsible for the consequences of the choices that adults make.

If a man makes a conscious decision to be unfaithful, fully understanding the risks to his monogamous relationship, that's a matter for him, his partner & who or whatever he calls God, if he has one. It's got nothing to do with me. In other words, whether it is with me, another swinger or a prostitute, a man who has decided to stray will do so. So what good will it have done me, or the man's marriage, if I pass up an opportunity for great sex, if he meets with someone else next week and gets found out? The warm feeling in my heart that I sustained his marriage for an extra week?

I fully respect those who make a choice not to meet with cheating swingers, whatever their reasons may be. If you'd rather not risk getting a call from a heartbroken wife, that's a valid reason. Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her.

I just happen to think that life is too short and considering the lifestyle we lead, it's not worth getting into a moral dilemma over someone else's private affairs.

And especially this-

Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her. "

Cos without the woman to cheat with the man wouldn't be able to cheat.. It is mainly the mans fault, but if the woman knows and assists the guy with cheating, she has to shoulder some blame too!

Unless ur so selfish and thoughtless of other people, especially children that can be affected, and only think of the sex u r getting, u deserve what u get from the cheated partner XD

Assisting a cheat is allowing him to cheat, with so many people with the attitude not my problem then good luck when someone has that attitude about u XD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this is a difficult subject because a lot of people are here for a reason.

sexless marriage, break up of relationship and others looking just to meet for nsa (i may have missed something out).

i do not judge anyone. just go with the flow and see what happens."

Its not about the person who is cheating or how they choose to justify it, its about how ur part of it affects the innocent people involved in their deception

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This post is not about justifying anything. Neither is it about seeking validation or approval of my _iews as anyone with half a brain cell should know. I know people see it differently from me & I was sort of hoping they'd tell us why? Just as I did in my OP.

I still say that I don't see the point of getting myself into a moral quagmire over the fidelity of my playmates when swinging is such a fleeting experience. Most of my swinging experiences are for the moment. I'm not particularly interested in the personal lives of my playmates because they'd play no significant part in my life after they leave. I wish everyone well in life but I can't make myself responsible for the consequences of the choices that adults make.

If a man makes a conscious decision to be unfaithful, fully understanding the risks to his monogamous relationship, that's a matter for him, his partner & who or whatever he calls God, if he has one. It's got nothing to do with me. In other words, whether it is with me, another swinger or a prostitute, a man who has decided to stray will do so. So what good will it have done me, or the man's marriage, if I pass up an opportunity for great sex, if he meets with someone else next week and gets found out? The warm feeling in my heart that I sustained his marriage for an extra week?

I fully respect those who make a choice not to meet with cheating swingers, whatever their reasons may be. If you'd rather not risk getting a call from a heartbroken wife, that's a valid reason. Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her.

I just happen to think that life is too short and considering the lifestyle we lead, it's not worth getting into a moral dilemma over someone else's private affairs.well said... Deserves a standing ovation! People need to chill the f**k out and just have fun..."

Yh sod the children who's lifes get turned upside down through the selfish actions of adults! Sod the innocent people as long as u get what u want! Sod helping others its all about looking after no1

Oh wait.. Bet when these people get to a point in their life they need help from others they would expect it

But the children.. Innocent and no control over selfish adults actions!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No child should ever know the ins and outs of their parents sex life! Even if the sex life is only ever between the 2 parents! There is no comparrision

As for cheaters, well I don't want any involvement in breaking up families and destroying innocent peoples lives thank you, especially where children are involved. If I meet a cheater then I'm just as guilty as I've allowed and encouraged them to cheat!

"
defiantly well said couldn't agree more ive had a tart not off this site try to break my family up and there's kids involved it had huge impact on mine & kids lives and most of time still eats me away easier ppl saying move on & forget its HARD!!when I've been hurt and my children but some ppl don't think of that way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No child should ever know the ins and outs of their parents sex life! Even if the sex life is only ever between the 2 parents! There is no comparrision

As for cheaters, well I don't want any involvement in breaking up families and destroying innocent peoples lives thank you, especially where children are involved. If I meet a cheater then I'm just as guilty as I've allowed and encouraged them to cheat!

defiantly well said couldn't agree more ive had a tart not off this site try to break my family up and there's kids involved it had huge impact on mine & kids lives and most of time still eats me away easier ppl saying move on & forget its HARD!!when I've been hurt and my children but some ppl don't think of that way!"

No its amazing the amount of people who live ina little bubble that's all about them. They can't see outside the bubble to see how their actions affect others! Its all about them! U can guarantee everything in their life is based around only their feelings and needs and are incapable of thinking of others

No wonder there is so much crap in this world!

And yet some moan over others grammar.. Since when is grammar destroying lives.. Warped priorities!

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham

What utter crap x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Unless ur so selfish and thoughtless of other people, especially children that can be affected, and only think of the sex u r getting, u deserve what u get from the cheated partner XD

Assisting a cheat is allowing him to cheat, with so many people with the attitude not my problem then good luck when someone has that attitude about u XD"

What does XD mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Emoticon laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

XD is a grin not a laugh

And well I guess if u see it as crap then that's how its _iewed from inside that little bubble,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This post is not about justifying anything. Neither is it about seeking validation or approval of my _iews as anyone with half a brain cell should know. I know people see it differently from me & I was sort of hoping they'd tell us why? Just as I did in my OP.

I still say that I don't see the point of getting myself into a moral quagmire over the fidelity of my playmates when swinging is such a fleeting experience. Most of my swinging experiences are for the moment. I'm not particularly interested in the personal lives of my playmates because they'd play no significant part in my life after they leave. I wish everyone well in life but I can't make myself responsible for the consequences of the choices that adults make.

If a man makes a conscious decision to be unfaithful, fully understanding the risks to his monogamous relationship, that's a matter for him, his partner & who or whatever he calls God, if he has one. It's got nothing to do with me. In other words, whether it is with me, another swinger or a prostitute, a man who has decided to stray will do so. So what good will it have done me, or the man's marriage, if I pass up an opportunity for great sex, if he meets with someone else next week and gets found out? The warm feeling in my heart that I sustained his marriage for an extra week?

I fully respect those who make a choice not to meet with cheating swingers, whatever their reasons may be. If you'd rather not risk getting a call from a heartbroken wife, that's a valid reason. Although, I'd never know why a woman who finds herself in that situation will want to call you, when the responsible party is in the same house as her.

I just happen to think that life is too short and considering the lifestyle we lead, it's not worth getting into a moral dilemma over someone else's private affairs.well said... Deserves a standing ovation! People need to chill the f**k out and just have fun..."

Just because some of us choose not to play with cheaters, does not mean we are less chilled than those who choose to

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"And well I guess if u see it as crap then that's how its _iewed from inside that little bubble, "

You're right, from inside this little bubble that was utter crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people et paranoid about the married individual not deleting messages from their phone or clearing their internet browser etc.

They don't want a scorn wife or husband calling them up.

Which is fair enough, I wouldn't.

I'd like the person to be upfront about it & would need assurances that steps have been taken so that I know they're being careful.

I'd also like to know so that I can make sure that I don't do anything to mess up or cause hassle for them too. ie times they'll be free, best ways to communicate or any "house rules" they may have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it your responsibility if someone else decides to cheat? If you look at it without emotions attached then it is nobody else's responsibility except the person who decides to do it. They will do it whether it's with you or someone else. Therefore my conclusion is if you like them, do it, it won't be your fault, it'll be theirs. You won't be the one splitting up a family, they will. All you'll have done is enact your normal swinging lifestyle.

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"Why is it your responsibility if someone else decides to cheat? If you look at it without emotions attached then it is nobody else's responsibility except the person who decides to do it. They will do it whether it's with you or someone else. Therefore my conclusion is if you like them, do it, it won't be your fault, it'll be theirs. You won't be the one splitting up a family, they will. All you'll have done is enact your normal swinging lifestyle."

Welcome to the bubble, bloody good in here isn't it ?

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince

Don't confuse legality with morality.

By the same conclusions, if you are a swinger you are encouraging and aiding in promiscuity which lowers the moral standards in society which encourages cheating and therefore you too are encouraging cheating. The fact is, that you don't encourage someone to cheat, they decide to do it, if they are unable to make decisions, then you shouldn't be having sex with them at all!

I'm afraid, what's being said takes the choice away from the person cheating. It is their choice to do so, not yours. It is your choice whether to take part in the process, not theirs.

it is their choice.. and it is my choice to not want to be a part of what they are doing.. exactly what i ahve been saying..

but if u sleep with a cheating and know they are cheating.. then you have some responsibility towards innocent parties getting affected by the cheaters actions as u have been the tool to their cheating..

if ur partner was cheating with mrs A and Mrs a new he had a wife.. would u not lay any blame at Mrs A's feet for what your husband has been doing??

Nope, why should I? She or He has marital agreement with me. The reality is that I didn't marry the other person.

no u didnt.. but u dont have to be married to someone to show compassion to others.. thats what makes a selfless caring person XD

oh and u have to take responsibilty for ur actions in all walks of ur life.. if someone throws a banana skin on the floor thats ok cos if an old lady slipped on it and broke her hip, what would it matter they dont know the old lady and have to ties with her.. not their problem.

if u accidently discard ur fag end into a pile of papers outside ur house, pfft who cares aint ur house burning down!

not so nice when ur on the receiving end of someone elses lack of regard for others tho!"
What has the banana got to do with the original point...stick with the debate as you say...know all !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No child should ever know the ins and outs of their parents sex life! Even if the sex life is only ever between the 2 parents! There is no comparrision

As for cheaters, well I don't want any involvement in breaking up families and destroying innocent peoples lives thank you, especially where children are involved. If I meet a cheater then I'm just as guilty as I've allowed and encouraged them to cheat!

defiantly well said couldn't agree more ive had a tart not off this site try to break my family up and there's kids involved it had huge impact on mine & kids lives and most of time still eats me away easier ppl saying move on & forget its HARD!!when I've been hurt and my children but some ppl don't think of that way!"

I really wouldn't worry about a tart like that.

No woman can ever force a man to have sex if he doesn't want to...............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My argument is as flimsy as your moral compass."

I think the point made here, very well made too is about a persons moral compass. The originator of this thread must have known they would get a fair battering for even suggesting that condoning a cheater is a reasonable thing to do and if they didn't think they would get battered, they have no compass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest the issue of cheating hasn't really got anything to do with the person they're having sex with. The person who cheats makes that decision for themselves (unless they've been coerced). It's their choice to go behind their partners back and to deal with consequences of that behaviour. If you feel guilty for your involvement that's your choice, but reality is, you didn't break up the relationship, the person cheating did.

The concept of cheating isn't new and whether you find it repugnant or acceptable, it will happen (or is indeed happening right now)

disclaimer: I'm neither encouraging or discouraging people from cheating or not cheating, marriage or celibacy, monogamy or polygamy, swinging or not swinging and values of orgasms may go up as well as down etc.

If the cheater had noone to cheat with they wouldn't be cheating.. So if u help someone to cheat by making the cheating occur u r part of the crime.. Same as abetting a crime.. If u hand someone the murder weapon knowing they will kill with it then u r just as responsiable for your part in the murder..not rocket sceince

Don't confuse legality with morality.

By the same conclusions, if you are a swinger you are encouraging and aiding in promiscuity which lowers the moral standards in society which encourages cheating and therefore you too are encouraging cheating. The fact is, that you don't encourage someone to cheat, they decide to do it, if they are unable to make decisions, then you shouldn't be having sex with them at all!

I'm afraid, what's being said takes the choice away from the person cheating. It is their choice to do so, not yours. It is your choice whether to take part in the process, not theirs.

it is their choice.. and it is my choice to not want to be a part of what they are doing.. exactly what i ahve been saying..

but if u sleep with a cheating and know they are cheating.. then you have some responsibility towards innocent parties getting affected by the cheaters actions as u have been the tool to their cheating..

if ur partner was cheating with mrs A and Mrs a new he had a wife.. would u not lay any blame at Mrs A's feet for what your husband has been doing??

Nope, why should I? She or He has marital agreement with me. The reality is that I didn't marry the other person.

no u didnt.. but u dont have to be married to someone to show compassion to others.. thats what makes a selfless caring person XD

oh and u have to take responsibilty for ur actions in all walks of ur life.. if someone throws a banana skin on the floor thats ok cos if an old lady slipped on it and broke her hip, what would it matter they dont know the old lady and have to ties with her.. not their problem.

if u accidently discard ur fag end into a pile of papers outside ur house, pfft who cares aint ur house burning down!

not so nice when ur on the receiving end of someone elses lack of regard for others tho! What has the banana got to do with the original point...stick with the debate as you say...know all !!!"

if im a know all for showing compassion to others then im proud to be a know all

the bana is about using another example to get ur point across..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it your responsibility if someone else decides to cheat? If you look at it without emotions attached then it is nobody else's responsibility except the person who decides to do it. They will do it whether it's with you or someone else. Therefore my conclusion is if you like them, do it, it won't be your fault, it'll be theirs. You won't be the one splitting up a family, they will. All you'll have done is enact your normal swinging lifestyle."

as previous said many times.. if u allow it to happen u shoulder some of the blame.. its ur choice to not create a situation

really think a court would judge only the cheater guilty if it was known the other person knew of their situation they would just walk free

its called aiding and abetting

how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think some people et paranoid about the married individual not deleting messages from their phone or clearing their internet browser etc.

They don't want a scorn wife or husband calling them up.

Which is fair enough, I wouldn't.

I'd like the person to be upfront about it & would need assurances that steps have been taken so that I know they're being careful.

I'd also like to know so that I can make sure that I don't do anything to mess up or cause hassle for them too. ie times they'll be free, best ways to communicate or any "house rules" they may have.

"

hold on.. i thought if u played with a cheater how could u be guilty of anything?? so why would u worry about any backlash...

"not my problem" selfish outlook on life

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham

"how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

Because of a decade of this swinging malarky the children of married men have never been an issue, no angry wives, no stalkers, no upset children, no lives devastated.. Nothing of the sort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would someone swinging lead to marriage break-up? It might actually save the marriage!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have an issue with what people get up to in their private lives, on this or other subject matter, however, I do have an issue with those who try to jam their moral highgrounds on other people, and come across as preachy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

Because of a decade of this swinging malarky the children of married men have never been an issue, no angry wives, no stalkers, no upset children, no lives devastated.. Nothing of the sort."

and what do u base this theory on? because u havent heard about and not seen the consequences of the married mans actions and ur own.. humm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have an issue with what people get up to in their private lives, on this or other subject matter, however, I do have an issue with those who try to jam their moral highgrounds on other people, and come across as preachy.

"

call it what u want.. i call it standing up for the innocent people and children who cant speak for themselves..

AND PROUD TO DO SO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would someone swinging lead to marriage break-up? It might actually save the marriage!"

if the cheated on person doesnt take to kindly to their partners going out and having sex with others..

fact of life that, there are examples everywhere!

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


""how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

Because of a decade of this swinging malarky the children of married men have never been an issue, no angry wives, no stalkers, no upset children, no lives devastated.. Nothing of the sort.

and what do u base this theory on? because u havent heard about and not seen the consequences of the married mans actions and ur own.. humm"

Exactly that, not heard, seen or witnessed that my swinging has caused distress to any woman or child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would someone swinging lead to marriage break-up? It might actually save the marriage!

if the cheated on person doesnt take to kindly to their partners going out and having sex with others..

fact of life that, there are examples everywhere!"

Cheating and swinging are not the same thing!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If preaching makes one feel good about him/herself, then be my guest.

Just don't expect everyone else to agree with or care about what one is preaching.

Everyone is capable of having his/her own _iews, opinions and morals, cultivated and formed based on his/her life experiences through the years.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Why would someone swinging lead to marriage break-up? It might actually save the marriage!"

so in fact someone who is cheating is in fact being selfless and is only doing it because they have to...

wow.... how generous of them, lets get them a medal of honour then!!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

the truth of it is..... if it makes you feel better that it is some anonymous figure... fine....

the truth of it is like in the example that lois gave.... and then everyone decided to ignore...

"I dont knowingly meet with married people but since the last time a very pissed off wife rang me asking "who the f**k i was meeting her husband" etc then i wont be telling any lies for them and will direct them straight to that persons profile and let the partner being cheated on decide for themselves if they want to carry on being married"

so lets ask the question.... if this anonymous figure actually became someone on the end of the phone..... or someone that you had to deal with face to face.... are you still using all the bravado I see people using in this thread...

with your health and safety on the line, I seriously doubt it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If preaching makes one feel good about him/herself, then be my guest.

Just don't expect everyone else to agree with or care about what one is preaching.

Everyone is capable of having his/her own _iews, opinions and morals, cultivated and formed based on his/her life experiences through the years.

"

yep and as long as they cant see past themselves to how their actions affect others! this world remains riddled with crime and evil...

good luck when anothers selfish action bites u in the bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would someone swinging lead to marriage break-up? It might actually save the marriage!

if the cheated on person doesnt take to kindly to their partners going out and having sex with others..

fact of life that, there are examples everywhere!

Cheating and swinging are not the same thing!!!! "

erm no! not if the single person on here is doing it without their partners knowledge odh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

Because of a decade of this swinging malarky the children of married men have never been an issue, no angry wives, no stalkers, no upset children, no lives devastated.. Nothing of the sort.

and what do u base this theory on? because u havent heard about and not seen the consequences of the married mans actions and ur own.. humm

Exactly that, not heard, seen or witnessed that my swinging has caused distress to any woman or child."

so in ur logic it hasnt happened.. ok then...

yet so many (user no longer on site)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the truth of it is..... if it makes you feel better that it is some anonymous figure... fine....

the truth of it is like in the example that lois gave.... and then everyone decided to ignore...

"I dont knowingly meet with married people but since the last time a very pissed off wife rang me asking "who the f**k i was meeting her husband" etc then i wont be telling any lies for them and will direct them straight to that persons profile and let the partner being cheated on decide for themselves if they want to carry on being married"

so lets ask the question.... if this anonymous figure actually became someone on the end of the phone..... or someone that you had to deal with face to face.... are you still using all the bravado I see people using in this thread...

with your health and safety on the line, I seriously doubt it.... "

cos as these people have said they have done nothign wrong, its the cheater who cheats.. inability to understand the consequences of their own actions XD

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


""how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

Because of a decade of this swinging malarky the children of married men have never been an issue, no angry wives, no stalkers, no upset children, no lives devastated.. Nothing of the sort.

and what do u base this theory on? because u havent heard about and not seen the consequences of the married mans actions and ur own.. humm

Exactly that, not heard, seen or witnessed that my swinging has caused distress to any woman or child.

so in ur logic it hasnt happened.. ok then...

yet so many (user no longer on site)"

My logic was based on the fact it hasn't happend to me, I wouldnt speak for other people, just my experience.

If it's happend to others then they should be more carefull.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Swinging for me is primarily about having a worthwhile sexual experience with one or many that I have a mutual attraction.

I don't see the point of passing up on such experiences because my potential playmates,male or female, are cheating on their partners.

I'm neither a marriage or relationship counselor & I've got better things to worry about than to be the world's moral compass.

I don't buy the "Do unto others as you'd like done to you" argument, because the likelihood of a future partner cheating on me has absolutely nothing to do with me meeting with someone else's cheating partner.

I'm also not naive enough to think that because a future partner doesn't cheat means he wouldn't given an assurance they wouldn't be found out.

So, is such a person really any different from someone who actually cheats?

Another argument I have is that almost every person who swings is cheating on someone. I'm talking about friends & family.

Some would rather die than have their kids, parents, siblings, etc find out about their swinging lifestyle.

Friends & family expect couples to have sex with each other. They would however find it unacceptable to learn that mummy actually loves gagging on a big fat cock while being smacked & fucked up the arse. And also that daddy actually enjoys watching her do this.

So is it okay to hide our swinging lifestyle from our friends & family because they wouldn't approve, but then worry about a man or woman having sex with someone else & keeping it from their partners?

I rest my case, and now I leave it up to all you gorgeous & clever people to tear down my arguments "

You lost me.. :-/..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actually glad brendas posting on these cheating threads...perhaps itll stop more of them lol

runs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who should be more careful ?

the person who comes on here and pretends they are single to get sex ?

the person they have met with told lies to and now have to deal with the wife/husband ?

the the genuine person on here who has been meeting genuine SINGLE people had lots of fun doing so for ages ?

try having a wife or husband to deal with just once and it will certainly put you off meeting people who are cheating and definately make the next person who wants to meet you have to jump through hoops to put your faith in them to be honest.

Married men or women who are cheating and reading this put it on the headline of your profile and let people make their own choice about meeting you ?

I have met a married guy and had some good fun with him until his wife of 20+ yrs and 3 kids came on the phone, I was her a few years ago wondering who the hell was this woman whose number was on her hubbys phone... pissed off doesnt come close and if you really want to be named in a court divorce case carry on but i certainly dont want that xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for stating your case

But I never said it DID bother me

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham

Lois

You meet guys, what do you do to try and make sure that the guy you are meeting isn't married?

How do you go about making sure that you don't get another wife of 20+ years and kids on the phone to you?

xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

Because of a decade of this swinging malarky the children of married men have never been an issue, no angry wives, no stalkers, no upset children, no lives devastated.. Nothing of the sort.

and what do u base this theory on? because u havent heard about and not seen the consequences of the married mans actions and ur own.. humm

Exactly that, not heard, seen or witnessed that my swinging has caused distress to any woman or child.

so in ur logic it hasnt happened.. ok then...

yet so many (user no longer on site)

My logic was based on the fact it hasn't happend to me, I wouldnt speak for other people, just my experience.

If it's happend to others then they should be more carefull."

just cause u dont know about a married guy u have been with ending up ruining his families life then it hasnt happened..warm in that bubble?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for stating your case

But I never said it DID bother me "

so?

its nice to be able to filter out the sort of people u dont wanna be around XD

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


""how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

Because of a decade of this swinging malarky the children of married men have never been an issue, no angry wives, no stalkers, no upset children, no lives devastated.. Nothing of the sort.

and what do u base this theory on? because u havent heard about and not seen the consequences of the married mans actions and ur own.. humm

Exactly that, not heard, seen or witnessed that my swinging has caused distress to any woman or child.

so in ur logic it hasnt happened.. ok then...

yet so many (user no longer on site)

My logic was based on the fact it hasn't happend to me, I wouldnt speak for other people, just my experience.

If it's happend to others then they should be more carefull.

just cause u dont know about a married guy u have been with ending up ruining his families life then it hasnt happened..warm in that bubble?"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ? "

wow... that is incredibly rude...

so people are telling you in has happened... and your response is "la la la i'm not listening"

so lets use a hypothetical in your case....

look at lois's case a few above yours.... so how would you deal with that situation... other than to call yourself completely blameless because hey... it not your partner!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lois

You meet guys, what do you do to try and make sure that the guy you are meeting isn't married?

How do you go about making sure that you don't get another wife of 20+ years and kids on the phone to you?

xx"

Usually the fact that they cant accom is a bit of a giveaway and only not free to meet at any time of day or night.

The first time i meet someone is usually a social thing and if that person cant meet in an open public place and sat there clock watching is also a giveaway i do like to have a landline number instead of a mobile that gets turned off when that person would be at home with their own partner

After meeting people for some time i have an inbuilt bullshit detector and in all those years only 1 has slipped through the net to my knowledge xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for stating your case

But I never said it DID bother me

so?

its nice to be able to filter out the sort of people u dont wanna be around XD"

I've been meaning to ask this question for a while Brenda, but what does the XD at the end of your messages mean ?

BTW - my earlier sarcasm wasn't aimed at you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ?

wow... that is incredibly rude...

so people are telling you in has happened... and your response is "la la la i'm not listening"

so lets use a hypothetical in your case....

look at lois's case a few above yours.... so how would you deal with that situation... other than to call yourself completely blameless because hey... it not your partner!"

You missed something Fabio,

It's me (Not Lois or anyone else) we were talking about when I said I couldn't say it hadn't happend.

It's happend to Lois and I said I had no knowledge it had happend to me, I was then told I didn't know it hadn't happend

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ?

wow... that is incredibly rude...

so people are telling you in has happened... and your response is "la la la i'm not listening"

so lets use a hypothetical in your case....

look at lois's case a few above yours.... so how would you deal with that situation... other than to call yourself completely blameless because hey... it not your partner!"

sorry Fabio...its also equally as rude as someone who thinks by winning the argument they can call people selfish and absorbed, many have stated their cases.

Now being likened to aiding and abetting a crime...now thats bloody INCREDIBLY rude!

all I think is theres over noseyness and when it comes to this particular type of thread responses ..i'd worry about being grilled wherever I go...just to make sure I was single..

the whole 'debate' has now descended into I'm right, I'll always be right, everyone else is wrong...

*pointing I dont seek married women playing away, buut I know I come into contact with all types over fab...I'm not in the habit of delving deep into their life during MY fun...and what they have elsewhere..is THEIRS.. I'm not blurring the lines.What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Busty the scenario is this you meet a "single" person for fun have a great time and move on to your next meet no problem at all .....

Couple of days later the partner of that person finds out not only your mobile number but also your house location because that person had you on the satnav for the meet

They show up on the doorstep with a suitcase screaming abuse letting all the neighbours know whats gone on and basically going mental

The final parting is her saying she will see you soon in court

How would you personally deal with that?

This is not a rant at you but a genuine question xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ?

wow... that is incredibly rude...

so people are telling you in has happened... and your response is "la la la i'm not listening"

so lets use a hypothetical in your case....

look at lois's case a few above yours.... so how would you deal with that situation... other than to call yourself completely blameless because hey... it not your partner!

sorry Fabio...its also equally as rude as someone who thinks by winning the argument they can call people selfish and absorbed, many have stated their cases.

Now being likened to aiding and abetting a crime...now thats bloody INCREDIBLY rude!

all I think is theres over noseyness and when it comes to this particular type of thread responses ..i'd worry about being grilled wherever I go...just to make sure I was single..

the whole 'debate' has now descended into I'm right, I'll always be right, everyone else is wrong...

*pointing I dont seek married women playing away, buut I know I come into contact with all types over fab...I'm not in the habit of delving deep into their life during MY fun...and what they have elsewhere..is THEIRS.. I'm not blurring the lines.What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business.

"

im stating facts only.. not trying to win an arguement. its not as if ive resorted to name calling or picking on silly little things like grammar errors to try and win..

how is it not likened to crime? in many coutries it is a crime!

define a crime.. its when someone does something to another with no regard of that person for personal gain. such as burglary is for the burglar to gain financially with no regard to the affect on the persons feelings over their personal lifes being intruded or the hard work they did to get what they have.

someone assualts someone cos they have a selfish reason to believe this person has done something against them regardless of the impact on the other persons life as a result of their injuries..

i will never condone the selfish actions of people on innocent parties, ESPECIALLY children!

i cant change the world, but i can do my bit in helping to protect the innocent, what a better place the world would be if many more did the same

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ?

wow... that is incredibly rude...

so people are telling you in has happened... and your response is "la la la i'm not listening"

so lets use a hypothetical in your case....

look at lois's case a few above yours.... so how would you deal with that situation... other than to call yourself completely blameless because hey... it not your partner!

sorry Fabio...its also equally as rude as someone who thinks by winning the argument they can call people selfish and absorbed, many have stated their cases.

Now being likened to aiding and abetting a crime...now thats bloody INCREDIBLY rude!

all I think is theres over noseyness and when it comes to this particular type of thread responses ..i'd worry about being grilled wherever I go...just to make sure I was single..

the whole 'debate' has now descended into I'm right, I'll always be right, everyone else is wrong...

*pointing I dont seek married women playing away, buut I know I come into contact with all types over fab...I'm not in the habit of delving deep into their life during MY fun...and what they have elsewhere..is THEIRS.. I'm not blurring the lines.What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business.

"

the whole debate is about when u know the knowledge of someones martial status not about delving into their lives!!

"What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business" and that capatilised MY is what shows the selfish side of the debate..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The crime being comitted is ADULTERY and whoever helps in that is held responsible being the third party in such.

xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

sorry Fabio...its also equally as rude as someone who thinks by winning the argument they can call people selfish and absorbed, many have stated their cases.

Now being likened to aiding and abetting a crime...now thats bloody INCREDIBLY rude!

all I think is theres over noseyness and when it comes to this particular type of thread responses ..i'd worry about being grilled wherever I go...just to make sure I was single..

the whole 'debate' has now descended into I'm right, I'll always be right, everyone else is wrong...

*pointing I dont seek married women playing away, buut I know I come into contact with all types over fab...I'm not in the habit of delving deep into their life during MY fun...and what they have elsewhere..is THEIRS.. I'm not blurring the lines.What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business.

"

actually paddy... since you are talking about aiding and abetting if you do know that they are married and playing without consent and you meeting then knowingly then that is exactly what you are doing..... (I never mentioned and never said it was a crime..YOU did!, so please don't put words in my mouth)

if you are meeting someone knowingly playing without consent, then you are as culpable in anything that then happens as they are, you made a decision to still meet them, you are in effect part of the consequence!

you can't have the case of having your cake and eating it by KNOWINGLY meeting people playing away without consent and then feign innocence or wash your hands of it and say not my issue if there is a negative consequence of that meet.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"Busty the scenario is this you meet a "single" person for fun have a great time and move on to your next meet no problem at all .....

Couple of days later the partner of that person finds out not only your mobile number but also your house location because that person had you on the satnav for the meet

They show up on the doorstep with a suitcase screaming abuse letting all the neighbours know whats gone on and basically going mental

The final parting is her saying she will see you soon in court

How would you personally deal with that?

This is not a rant at you but a genuine question xx

"

I've no idea how I'd deal with that.

Get my boyfriend and tell him there's some crazy woman at the door, deny everything, tell her my address is in the sat nav and number in his phone because my fella sold him 2nd hand diamond ring off ebay and he came to collect it.. seriously I have no idea.

You said you let one slip through the net... how did/would you deal with that scenario ?

Going back to your other answer.. I wish I had the time to meet guys for a social meet before having sex but in all honesty I just can't do that, I don't get enough time to swing let alone meet first and then meet a 2nd time for fun

I have to take a gamble, just like so many other woman on here... no doubt about it.. I have had sex with married men who were cheating.. does that make me a bad person ? It appears so

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would someone swinging lead to marriage break-up? It might actually save the marriage!

if the cheated on person doesnt take to kindly to their partners going out and having sex with others..

fact of life that, there are examples everywhere!"

Yes and there are also instances of people being able to keep a marriage together as they are getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ?

wow... that is incredibly rude...

so people are telling you in has happened... and your response is "la la la i'm not listening"

so lets use a hypothetical in your case....

look at lois's case a few above yours.... so how would you deal with that situation... other than to call yourself completely blameless because hey... it not your partner!

sorry Fabio...its also equally as rude as someone who thinks by winning the argument they can call people selfish and absorbed, many have stated their cases.

Now being likened to aiding and abetting a crime...now thats bloody INCREDIBLY rude!

all I think is theres over noseyness and when it comes to this particular type of thread responses ..i'd worry about being grilled wherever I go...just to make sure I was single..

the whole 'debate' has now descended into I'm right, I'll always be right, everyone else is wrong...

*pointing I dont seek married women playing away, buut I know I come into contact with all types over fab...I'm not in the habit of delving deep into their life during MY fun...and what they have elsewhere..is THEIRS.. I'm not blurring the lines.What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business.

the whole debate is about when u know the knowledge of someones martial status not about delving into their lives!!

"What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business" and that capatilised MY is what shows the selfish side of the debate.. "

I believe selfish should be replaced with with respect of peoples boundaries on the scene.

And to be honest, I hope ur doing something more proactive in protecting innocent children from failing marriages/relationships than bleating on about it passionately on a swinging site.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The crime being comitted is ADULTERY and whoever helps in that is held responsible being the third party in such.

xx "

I'll remember that the next party/gangbang I'm at xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although adultery is illegal, it is not a crime.

It is illegal in that it can be the reason for the dissolution of a marriage. It is not criminal in that you don't go to jail if you comit adultery. The person who is legally responsible is the person committing adultery, not the person who they are doing it with. Accusing someone of abetting a crime therefore is a moral not a legal statement.

I think this subject is fascinating because a little like politics, we can go over this a thousand times and no one is going to change their vote

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ?

wow... that is incredibly rude...

so people are telling you in has happened... and your response is "la la la i'm not listening"

so lets use a hypothetical in your case....

look at lois's case a few above yours.... so how would you deal with that situation... other than to call yourself completely blameless because hey... it not your partner!

sorry Fabio...its also equally as rude as someone who thinks by winning the argument they can call people selfish and absorbed, many have stated their cases.

Now being likened to aiding and abetting a crime...now thats bloody INCREDIBLY rude!

all I think is theres over noseyness and when it comes to this particular type of thread responses ..i'd worry about being grilled wherever I go...just to make sure I was single..

the whole 'debate' has now descended into I'm right, I'll always be right, everyone else is wrong...

*pointing I dont seek married women playing away, buut I know I come into contact with all types over fab...I'm not in the habit of delving deep into their life during MY fun...and what they have elsewhere..is THEIRS.. I'm not blurring the lines.What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business.

the whole debate is about when u know the knowledge of someones martial status not about delving into their lives!!

"What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business" and that capatilised MY is what shows the selfish side of the debate..

I believe selfish should be replaced with with respect of peoples boundaries on the scene.

And to be honest, I hope ur doing something more proactive in protecting innocent children from failing marriages/relationships than bleating on about it passionately on a swinging site."

the fact that i work in social care makes me proactive.. interesting how u try and degrade me by using the term "bleeting"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

sorry Fabio...its also equally as rude as someone who thinks by winning the argument they can call people selfish and absorbed, many have stated their cases.

Now being likened to aiding and abetting a crime...now thats bloody INCREDIBLY rude!

all I think is theres over noseyness and when it comes to this particular type of thread responses ..i'd worry about being grilled wherever I go...just to make sure I was single..

the whole 'debate' has now descended into I'm right, I'll always be right, everyone else is wrong...

*pointing I dont seek married women playing away, buut I know I come into contact with all types over fab...I'm not in the habit of delving deep into their life during MY fun...and what they have elsewhere..is THEIRS.. I'm not blurring the lines.What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business.

actually paddy... since you are talking about aiding and abetting if you do know that they are married and playing without consent and you meeting then knowingly then that is exactly what you are doing..... (I never mentioned and never said it was a crime..YOU did!, so please don't put words in my mouth)

if you are meeting someone knowingly playing without consent, then you are as culpable in anything that then happens as they are, you made a decision to still meet them, you are in effect part of the consequence!

you can't have the case of having your cake and eating it by KNOWINGLY meeting people playing away without consent and then feign innocence or wash your hands of it and say not my issue if there is a negative consequence of that meet....."

RE: crime:-did I say U said it Fabio?- try reading the post in its general aspect before u claim I've quoted yourself.

I think we are all getting old enough and aware enough to know that crime is quite a strong word when its been thrown into comparisons with the analogies brenda has gave above.

I'll take the risk of not being able to wash my hands from an issue, just like the risk every one of us takes having casual relationships with eachother.

When I find a possible long term and exclusive partner and be outwith the swinging scene, I might be able to sit in judgement of what others do in their sex lives.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Although adultery is illegal, it is not a crime.

It is illegal in that it can be the reason for the dissolution of a marriage. It is not criminal in that you don't go to jail if you comit adultery. The person who is legally responsible is the person committing adultery, not the person who they are doing it with. Accusing someone of abetting a crime therefore is a moral not a legal statement.

I think this subject is fascinating because a little like politics, we can go over this a thousand times and no one is going to change their vote "

it was a crime and still is in some countries..

it can be likened to criminal activity.

and as someone stated earlier, a person who files for divorce can incite adultry and name the person involved.. why would they name the person and the courts take that person into consideration if they were entirely innocent of their actions..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Although adultery is illegal, it is not a crime.

It is illegal in that it can be the reason for the dissolution of a marriage. It is not criminal in that you don't go to jail if you comit adultery. The person who is legally responsible is the person committing adultery, not the person who they are doing it with. Accusing someone of abetting a crime therefore is a moral not a legal statement.

I think this subject is fascinating because a little like politics, we can go over this a thousand times and no one is going to change their vote

it was a crime and still is in some countries..

it can be likened to criminal activity.

and as someone stated earlier, a person who files for divorce can incite adultry and name the person involved.. why would they name the person and the courts take that person into consideration if they were entirely innocent of their actions.. "

In the UK it is NOT a crime no matter how you feel. They name you (which is quite rare) in order to demonstrate one of the five reasons for the dissolution of a marriage. They are NOT looking at the other person only on the person who signed the contract of marriage. There is no LEGAL liability on behalf of the person the adulterer is having sex with. What you are speaking of is a moral and emotional issue not a criminal one. As a general rule the third party is not named if the person admits to the adultery. They are only named if it is contested.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


""how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

just cause u dont know about a married guy u have been with ending up ruining his families life then it hasnt happened..warm in that bubble?"

I'm all for people choosing who they want or don't want to meet, whatever their reasons may be, but I'm sorry Brenda if you feel this strongly about family break ups, lives ruined, kids suffering, etc.., because you never want to have your swinging affect other people's lives.., then you really should stop swinging.

Because if you think lives can only be ruined by meeting cheating spouses, then you're very mistaken. Can you stake everything you hold dear that somebody's life hasn't been ruined as a result of your swinging, even if you only do it with genuinely single guys and couples who both consent to be swingers?

There are couples who start swinging and one of them gets jealous when they actually see their partner having sex with someone else, or enjoying it too much, or doing & enjoying something with others that they don't do or enjoy with them. You don't think something like this could lead to a family break up, with you being named in a divorce proceeding and kids' lives ruined?

And if this happens in a meet I have with such a couple you expect me to feel guilty that I aided the family break up? And not feel the fault squarely lies with them for getting into swinging when they're not ready for it?

Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

If you don't want to meet with "fake singles" because it makes you play with a clear conscience, that's perfectly fine.

For those who aren't bothered by the relationship status of people they meet, because they believe people should be responsible for the choices they make, then please don't throw them this family break up and ruined lives line.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It doesn't mean it has happend either.

It's lovely and warm in this bubble, is it a bit frosty up there on that high horse ?

wow... that is incredibly rude...

so people are telling you in has happened... and your response is "la la la i'm not listening"

so lets use a hypothetical in your case....

look at lois's case a few above yours.... so how would you deal with that situation... other than to call yourself completely blameless because hey... it not your partner!

sorry Fabio...its also equally as rude as someone who thinks by winning the argument they can call people selfish and absorbed, many have stated their cases.

Now being likened to aiding and abetting a crime...now thats bloody INCREDIBLY rude!

all I think is theres over noseyness and when it comes to this particular type of thread responses ..i'd worry about being grilled wherever I go...just to make sure I was single..

the whole 'debate' has now descended into I'm right, I'll always be right, everyone else is wrong...

*pointing I dont seek married women playing away, buut I know I come into contact with all types over fab...I'm not in the habit of delving deep into their life during MY fun...and what they have elsewhere..is THEIRS.. I'm not blurring the lines.What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business.

the whole debate is about when u know the knowledge of someones martial status not about delving into their lives!!

"What is theirs is outwith MY interest and business" and that capatilised MY is what shows the selfish side of the debate..

I believe selfish should be replaced with with respect of peoples boundaries on the scene.

And to be honest, I hope ur doing something more proactive in protecting innocent children from failing marriages/relationships than bleating on about it passionately on a swinging site.

the fact that i work in social care makes me proactive.. interesting how u try and degrade me by using the term "bleeting""

and I have worked in similar circles...working in social care?-does not make u proactive...I dont need to go on about how long but I've seen my fair share.I'd chose drink and drugs as my bleaterable issue if I was really THAT passionate about the subject.

Hats off to ur posts tho, ethically sound and correct, but just because something isnt sitting ethically correct with u..all I have read is an effort win the argument/debate, telling people they live in 'bubbles'...when in fact, ur inside one urself really, its a sign of modern life really.. people grow older, expect more from life,and lack of religious belief possibly plays a huge part.

Its great U have maintained ur stance in life,love and sex..but I dont think we all need educated really.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""how comes no one has said anything about the children involved?"

just cause u dont know about a married guy u have been with ending up ruining his families life then it hasnt happened..warm in that bubble?

I'm all for people choosing who they want or don't want to meet, whatever their reasons may be, but I'm sorry Brenda if you feel this strongly about family break ups, lives ruined, kids suffering, etc.., because you never want to have your swinging affect other people's lives.., then you really should stop swinging.

Because if you think lives can only be ruined by meeting cheating spouses, then you're very mistaken. Can you stake everything you hold dear that somebody's life hasn't been ruined as a result of your swinging, even if you only do it with genuinely single guys and couples who both consent to be swingers?

There are couples who start swinging and one of them gets jealous when they actually see their partner having sex with someone else, or enjoying it too much, or doing & enjoying something with others that they don't do or enjoy with them. You don't think something like this could lead to a family break up, with you being named in a divorce proceeding and kids' lives ruined?

And if this happens in a meet I have with such a couple you expect me to feel guilty that I aided the family break up? And not feel the fault squarely lies with them for getting into swinging when they're not ready for it?

Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

If you don't want to meet with "fake singles" because it makes you play with a clear conscience, that's perfectly fine.

For those who aren't bothered by the relationship status of people they meet, because they believe people should be responsible for the choices they make, then please don't throw them this family break up and ruined lives line."

yes and as i have said so many times, it is down to the person who cheats primarily.. but u have allowed the cheater to cheat.

now i love the way people r bringing in my own eprsonal issues and life now

for starters i have met 2 couples only. what a couple does is their private business.. i dont see how my actions will lead to giving them any problems as they are not deciviving anyone

secondly i only meet young guys.. rarely a guy over 25! so he may have a gf he aint tellign me about.. but the chances of a 20 yr old being settled in a family unit and at such a young age being fed up and going out looking..

i live by my _iews thanks

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Although adultery is illegal, it is not a crime.

It is illegal in that it can be the reason for the dissolution of a marriage. It is not criminal in that you don't go to jail if you comit adultery. The person who is legally responsible is the person committing adultery, not the person who they are doing it with. Accusing someone of abetting a crime therefore is a moral not a legal statement.

I think this subject is fascinating because a little like politics, we can go over this a thousand times and no one is going to change their vote

it was a crime and still is in some countries..

it can be likened to criminal activity.

and as someone stated earlier, a person who files for divorce can incite adultry and name the person involved.. why would they name the person and the courts take that person into consideration if they were entirely innocent of their actions..

In the UK it is NOT a crime no matter how you feel. They name you (which is quite rare) in order to demonstrate one of the five reasons for the dissolution of a marriage. They are NOT looking at the other person only on the person who signed the contract of marriage. There is no LEGAL liability on behalf of the person the adulterer is having sex with. What you are speaking of is a moral and emotional issue not a criminal one. As a general rule the third party is not named if the person admits to the adultery. They are only named if it is contested. "

adultry still ends up in court.. court is court whether its criminal or civil.. if u help someone by allowing them to do something that ends up in a civil court.. thats no more wrong as being in a criminal court..

picking at the criminal aspect does not defer away from the fact u have allowed a cheater to cheat.. if everyone said no to a cheater they wouldnt commit the act of cheating would they..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"The crime being comitted is ADULTERY and whoever helps in that is held responsible being the third party in such.

xx "

Now this is very misleading. ADULTERY IS NOT A CRIME, NEITHER IS IT ILLEGAL!!

It can be grounds for divorce, just as withholding sex from your partner can be grounds for divorce, but none of them are crimes.

Nobody can be sent to prison for adultery nor suffer any consequences if they're cited as the third party in a divorce proceeding, apart from the inconvenience.

Brenda says adultery is a crime in certain countries. Yes it is. In Saudi Arabia, Iran, Afghanistan and most middle east countries. But I don't see how this is relevant here because we are in the UK.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My _iew is that if you are worried about cheaters either stop swinging or don't ask. After all this site is for sexual meets and if you want to meet someone for that reason then their status is no-one else's business including you...enjoy yourself, and leave their morals to them...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The crime being comitted is ADULTERY and whoever helps in that is held responsible being the third party in such.

xx

Now this is very misleading. ADULTERY IS NOT A CRIME, NEITHER IS IT ILLEGAL!!

It can be grounds for divorce, just as withholding sex from your partner can be grounds for divorce, but none of them are crimes.

Nobody can be sent to prison for adultery nor suffer any consequences if they're cited as the third party in a divorce proceeding, apart from the inconvenience.

Brenda says adultery is a crime in certain countries. Yes it is. In Saudi Arabia, Iran, Afghanistan and most middle east countries. But I don't see how this is relevant here because we are in the UK. "

because others see the act as criminal but for some reason we dont.. even tho it destroys lives.

the punishment for ending up being divorced for adultry is the other party getting more out the divorce as the cheater has doen wrong.. so yh they are made to pay for their mistakes

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The crime being comitted is ADULTERY and whoever helps in that is held responsible being the third party in such.

xx

Now this is very misleading. ADULTERY IS NOT A CRIME, NEITHER IS IT ILLEGAL!!

It can be grounds for divorce, just as withholding sex from your partner can be grounds for divorce, but none of them are crimes.

Nobody can be sent to prison for adultery nor suffer any consequences if they're cited as the third party in a divorce proceeding, apart from the inconvenience.

Brenda says adultery is a crime in certain countries. Yes it is. In Saudi Arabia, Iran, Afghanistan and most middle east countries. But I don't see how this is relevant here because we are in the UK. "

dont ppl read the tabloids???? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Although adultery is illegal, it is not a crime.

It is illegal in that it can be the reason for the dissolution of a marriage. It is not criminal in that you don't go to jail if you comit adultery. The person who is legally responsible is the person committing adultery, not the person who they are doing it with. Accusing someone of abetting a crime therefore is a moral not a legal statement.

I think this subject is fascinating because a little like politics, we can go over this a thousand times and no one is going to change their vote "

I love the debate.

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