FabSwingers.com forum: Awkward question!

By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

Wondering how much of arsehole I would be to ask an awkward question!

I’ve played regularly with a lady who is a lot of fun and we’ve a great sexual chemistry. When we meet it’s all really enjoyable and quite comfortable.

Since lockdown has ended we’ve played a lot less and see each other less frequently. When we first met it was part of a MFF scenario. In fact it was a mutual friend that introduced us. After a few more meets and nights out we stopped meeting as a three and I’ve since lost contact with our mutual friend. I still have a desire to meet her again. Would it be really shitty to ask for her contact details again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see what the problem is tbh.

If there was no ‘understanding’ in place between you all then you’re not doing anything wrong.

Viv

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

Realistically I reckon that you probably have a 50% chance of annoying both ladies.

However, it isn’t unreasonable to ask for the contact details of the friend you initially knew.

If I was the one asked, I would be asking our mutual friend whether she wanted me to give out her details.

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By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

We’ve never discussed any sort of agreement and weren’t exclusive. I just didn’t know if it was in bad taste!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What do you think the woman you're still in touch with will feel? She's the only one whose opinion really counts along with the other woman who might not want to be in touch with you again.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

^^ in other words, ask, what have you got to lose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"^^ in other words, ask, what have you got to lose

Absolutely this!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"We’ve never discussed any sort of agreement and weren’t exclusive. I just didn’t know if it was in bad taste!"

Is she seeing anyone else or just you?

Because if the onky person she's currently fucking is you and you ask her for the details of the other woman then it could go tits up and you'll end up with neither. And that's irrespective of whether you've actually agreed on exclusivity or not.

Since you don't have the contact details for the other woman yourself, and it seems she's made no effort to make contact with you then is it worth rocking the boat?

Your choice entirely of course. But I'd tread vert carefully.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This is what would happen if I was the woman you are still in contact with

I would give you the other woman's number (having checked with her first) then block you on all platforms.

Call me illogical or not a proper swinger if you want but I wouldn't like it

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By *ildmanYorksMan
over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

What might be the best approach is when you next see your regular lady is just bring up your mutual friend in conversation.

"By the way, are you still in contact with xxx? Was just wondering how she was as we've not spoken in a while"

Sounds like you're enquiring about how the lady is rather than trying to get in her knickers!

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

Sounds like a case of having your cake and eating it. If the other woman wanted to stay in touch presumably she would have done. If you ask you risk the lady you are seeing getting peed off and stopping your meets, so losing both options. On the upside it could be win win. So, up to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wondering how much of arsehole I would be to ask an awkward question!

I’ve played regularly with a lady who is a lot of fun and we’ve a great sexual chemistry. When we meet it’s all really enjoyable and quite comfortable.

Why have you lost contact with the mutual friend? Has she blocked you?

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Sounds like a case of having your cake and eating it. If the other woman wanted to stay in touch presumably she would have done. If you ask you risk the lady you are seeing getting peed off and stopping your meets, so losing both options. On the upside it could be win win. So, up to you.

I dont understand what the issue is here? So what if he wants to have his cake and eat it...he doesnt owe anything to the mutual friend and theyre not a couple.

Would this even be an issue if it was the other way round and the woman was asking? Would it balls

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

I dont understand what the issue is here? So what if he wants to have his cake and eat it...he doesnt owe anything to the mutual friend and theyre not a couple.

Would this even be an issue if it was the other way round and the woman was asking? Would it balls"

It's not an issue to me. I was just responding to the ops post.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also just because you haven't discussed any sort of agreement there is one. You just haven't discussed if it's the same one

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

You have already admitted that you are not seeing as much of person 1 as before... Is that though choice, agreement or is it just reaching a natural ending

You could raise the topic of a 3sum and her inviting the other woman...

You don't know if 2 told 1 she doesn't want to see you both

If it doesn't bother you potentially losing what you have then just plough right in

Or try the slow testing the ground

You might get a better understanding of what is going on

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Since lockdown has ended we’ve played a lot less and see each other less frequently. When we first met it was part of a MFF scenario. "

So the three of you were regularly having sex together during lockdown ?

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"What might be the best approach is when you next see your regular lady is just bring up your mutual friend in conversation.

"By the way, are you still in contact with xxx? Was just wondering how she was as we've not spoken in a while"

Sounds like you're enquiring about how the lady is rather than trying to get in her knickers!

Definitely the best approach

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

"Realistically I reckon that you probably have a 50% chance of annoying both ladies.

However, it isn’t unreasonable to ask for the contact details of the friend you initially knew.

If I was the one asked, I would be asking our mutual friend whether she wanted me to give out her details."

This all day long, if someone asked me I would pass your details on the other lady that way it would be her choice to contact you. Maybe send a message asking her to pass on your details to the other lady in question rather than as for them

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By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

"You have already admitted that you are not seeing as much of person 1 as before... Is that though choice, agreement or is it just reaching a natural ending

You could raise the topic of a 3sum and her inviting the other woman...

You don't know if 2 told 1 she doesn't want to see you both

If it doesn't bother you potentially losing what you have then just plough right in

Or try the slow testing the ground

You might get a better understanding of what is going on "

It just seems to be coming to a natural end. Life getting in the way, clashing schedules and at times less effort. Not a bad word to be said.

After knowing each other for a while I wouldn’t like to part with bad feeling. We’re not local to each other and haven’t crossed paths unless planning to do so.

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

"You have already admitted that you are not seeing as much of person 1 as before... Is that though choice, agreement or is it just reaching a natural ending

You could raise the topic of a 3sum and her inviting the other woman...

You don't know if 2 told 1 she doesn't want to see you both

If it doesn't bother you potentially losing what you have then just plough right in

Or try the slow testing the ground

You might get a better understanding of what is going on

It just seems to be coming to a natural end. Life getting in the way, clashing schedules and at times less effort. Not a bad word to be said.

After knowing each other for a while I wouldn’t like to part with bad feeling. We’re not local to each other and haven’t crossed paths unless planning to do so. "

Sounds like the mff suited at the time for you all

And that your current situation has just run its course

Based on this i would just move forward

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