FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Deleting messages is GOOD!

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A practical idea - Fab is a bit of a numbers game, especially for single guys.

If I pop a message over and it's opened (mine usually are, I write good openers) and there's no interest, a no thanks is always appreciated but obviously single gals especially get swamped.

However, I do almost always say "If there's no interest just hit delete" which really isn't any more work than not hitting delete.

Yet it seems there are stacks of opened but unreplied messages sitting in inboxes across Fab....perhaps one day I'll get a sudden bonanza of replies and invitations but I doubt it

Wouldn't it be an easy convention to adopt?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tooveMan
over a year ago

belfast

Just delete all your sent messages then you won't know one way or the other.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I delete all my messages in bulk when I get round to it.

It quite clearly says that no reply = no thanks on the site FAQs. No idea why so many guys feel the need to instruct women on how to say no thanks when it’s right there already.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

No, I just prefer the radio silence. It soothes my inner-peace. †

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Because site FAQs are not the definitive guide to good manners, and it wasn't instructing, it was suggesting an alternative approach which seemed to me to be better.

Your reply ha slightly the sort of self important tone which makes Fab a less nice place than it could be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnyadtMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter


"Just delete all your sent messages then you won't know one way or the other. "

Exactly!

A reply is a bonus attitude = better fab times imo

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry


"

Because site FAQs are not the definitive guide to good manners, and it wasn't instructing, it was suggesting an alternative approach which seemed to me to be better.

Your reply ha slightly the sort of self important tone which makes Fab a less nice place than it could be "

Self important tone?

For replying with an opinion that’s different to yours?

Ok then…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset


"

Because site FAQs are not the definitive guide to good manners, and it wasn't instructing, it was suggesting an alternative approach which seemed to me to be better.

Your reply ha slightly the sort of self important tone which makes Fab a less nice place than it could be "

Says you...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Because site FAQs are not the definitive guide to good manners, and it wasn't instructing, it was suggesting an alternative approach which seemed to me to be better.

Your reply ha slightly the sort of self important tone which makes Fab a less nice place than it could be "

What an odd assumption!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A practical idea - Fab is a bit of a numbers game, especially for single guys.

If I pop a message over and it's opened (mine usually are, I write good openers) and there's no interest, a no thanks is always appreciated but obviously single gals especially get swamped.

However, I do almost always say "If there's no interest just hit delete" which really isn't any more work than not hitting delete.

Yet it seems there are stacks of opened but unreplied messages sitting in inboxes across Fab....perhaps one day I'll get a sudden bonanza of replies and invitations but I doubt it

Wouldn't it be an easy convention to adopt?"

Oh dear

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

I like a tidy mailbox so often hit delete. There's no obligation on anyone to do anything, and it's nothing to do with manners.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In fairness I’d not seen this! It’s good to know there are faqs!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnyadtMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I honestly can't get my head around people getting bothered by not getting a reply, they're not interested in you and that's the end if the line, next! Nothing to do with manners. If I get a message from peeps I'm interested in it's read and move on, no reply necessary.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING


"

Because site FAQs are not the definitive guide to good manners, and it wasn't instructing, it was suggesting an alternative approach which seemed to me to be better.

Your reply ha slightly the sort of self important tone which makes Fab a less nice place than it could be "
I understand what this guys actually trying to say, but, god help him and me for saying that the fab world could be a better place than it's now becoming.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either send and forget or just delete your sent messages…

I rarely send messages, so I don’t let it bother me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry


"

Because site FAQs are not the definitive guide to good manners, and it wasn't instructing, it was suggesting an alternative approach which seemed to me to be better.

Your reply ha slightly the sort of self important tone which makes Fab a less nice place than it could be I understand what this guys actually trying to say, but, god help him and me for saying that the fab world could be a better place than it's now becoming. "

Why would it be a better place if women deleted messages quicker?

In particular why would that be better than guys reading the FAQs and accepting that no reply is a reply?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Why would it be a better place if women deleted messages quicker?

In particular why would that be better than guys reading the FAQs and accepting that no reply is a reply?"

Because I don't send out random mailshots, I make an effort to understand the profile and and also give the option for an effortless delete saying no thanks. And if I get that, I block, not out of grump but to make sure I don't send another message in a year or whatever saying "hi, the first may have been lost in the rush"...which as actually led to a few very nice and warm chats and from memory a meet or two...

So it was an idea for another approach, which you are all very welcome not to take but it would have been nice if someone had said "see yr point, good idea".

Just saying.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnyadtMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Oh please!

I tailor every message I send to a profile, so what! I did my best and they still wern't interested, however I've maintained my own standards which is all I'm bothered about, even after all my efforts I know it will possibly be deleted from the off, that's fab. I'm not looking for acknowledgement for my efforts, none of it matters.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry


"

Because I don't send out random mailshots, I make an effort to understand the profile and and also give the option for an effortless delete saying no thanks. And if I get that, I block, not out of grump but to make sure I don't send another message in a year or whatever saying "hi, the first may have been lost in the rush"...which as actually led to a few very nice and warm chats and from memory a meet or two...

So it was an idea for another approach, which you are all very welcome not to take but it would have been nice if someone had said "see yr point, good idea".

Just saying."

The “…also give the option for an effortless delete” is the issue right there.

People don’t need your permission to delete. You’re putting an onus on them to do something to fit your requirements, when they’ve no obligation whatsoever to do that.

There are umpteen threads every week just ‘suggesting’ what people (mostly women) “should do”. They range from full replies, to simple no thanks to suggestions like yours.

When in reality the simplest solution is for folks to read the FAQs, accept what they say and why and go with it. Rather than feeling the need to come up with endless solutions that put the onus on the recipient, rather than them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley


"

Because I don't send out random mailshots, I make an effort to understand the profile and and also give the option for an effortless delete saying no thanks. And if I get that, I block, not out of grump but to make sure I don't send another message in a year or whatever saying "hi, the first may have been lost in the rush"...which as actually led to a few very nice and warm chats and from memory a meet or two...

So it was an idea for another approach, which you are all very welcome not to take but it would have been nice if someone had said "see yr point, good idea".

Just saying.

The “…also give the option for an effortless delete” is the issue right there.

People don’t need your permission to delete. You’re putting an onus on them to do something to fit your requirements, when they’ve no obligation whatsoever to do that.

There are umpteen threads every week just ‘suggesting’ what people (mostly women) “should do”. They range from full replies, to simple no thanks to suggestions like yours.

When in reality the simplest solution is for folks to read the FAQs, accept what they say and why and go with it. Rather than feeling the need to come up with endless solutions that put the onus on the recipient, rather than them.

"

I agree with this. Just because someone may have written what they think is a well thought out message, doesn't give them the right, suggestion, expectation, whatever word you want to use, for the recipient to do anything with that message.

I just don't get why there is so much interest in getting a response to suit the senders needs, when clearly there is no interest from the recipient. It baffles me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *astlincscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tinsel Town

Popcorn please. Salted.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Replies much as expected, I remain unrepentant. But perhaps that's Fab? Perhaps it's modern manners? Who knows...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sales 101. Make it easy for people to say no, they’ll say no. It’s like having the unsubscribe link is big bold letters just after hello.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

It’s highly amusing how many men think women not dealing with their messages in the way they want is poor manners on the recipient’s part.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'm a good girl.

I reject all my suitors in writing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"

A practical idea - Fab is a bit of a numbers game, especially for single guys.

If I pop a message over and it's opened (mine usually are, I write good openers) and there's no interest, a no thanks is always appreciated but obviously single gals especially get swamped.

However, I do almost always say "If there's no interest just hit delete" which really isn't any more work than not hitting delete.

Yet it seems there are stacks of opened but unreplied messages sitting in inboxes across Fab....perhaps one day I'll get a sudden bonanza of replies and invitations but I doubt it

Wouldn't it be an easy convention to adopt?"

Why another thread on this?

Maybe it’s “just hit delete”?

I don’t like to be told what to do (unless I do )

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people reply great, if not thats their choice. There are still plenty of forum topics to enjoy and get to know people through.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t understand why it’s manners to delete immediately but not manners to open and leave unread for a while then delete. If there is no reply they’re not interested. Maybe delete your sent messages?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oldswarriorMan
over a year ago

Falkirk


"Replies much as expected, I remain unrepentant. But perhaps that's Fab? Perhaps it's modern manners? Who knows..."

Your confusing personal expectation with manners.

Expecting people to change to suit your narrative won't work on this site.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enuinecpl101Couple
over a year ago

Co armagh

Genuinely impossible to read all mges xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Genuinely impossible to read all mges xx"

I quite see that and not opening messages I totally get, but if it looked interesting enough to open reading doesn't take so long. Unless you are a very slow reader

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's the option to read it then mark it as unread so best to just accept and move on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Replies much as expected, I remain unrepentant. But perhaps that's Fab? Perhaps it's modern manners? Who knows..."

Nothing to with manners.

No one is obligated to respond to you whether that's via messages on here or if you approach a woman in person

This entitlement is honestly astounding

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyguymkMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

TBH, you have plenty of verifications, so I'm not sure why you find it a problem?

When I/we had a couples profile, the amount of messages we got from single guys made it impossible to reply to all.

Some messages stand out, some don't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Genuinely impossible to read all mges xx

I quite see that and not opening messages I totally get, but if it looked interesting enough to open reading doesn't take so long. Unless you are a very slow reader "

I'd personally look at your profile, read your message and move along. Nothing against you, I'm sure you're lovely... But still

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon

Looking at things from a slightly different perspective. I can see why the Op said it would be helpful to delete.

A couple mentioned that they like to read messages together so they can both agree. ( message read by one but not both) , so recipient assumed not interested.

A lady read a message but didn't have time to respond at that moment. Deleted as assume not interested.

Just two examples and of course the obvious. Why do guys keep sending g messages ?

Maybe we could agree on an etiquette which helps everyone ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Looking at things from a slightly different perspective. I can see why the Op said it would be helpful to delete.

A couple mentioned that they like to read messages together so they can both agree. ( message read by one but not both) , so recipient assumed not interested.

A lady read a message but didn't have time to respond at that moment. Deleted as assume not interested.

Just two examples and of course the obvious. Why do guys keep sending g messages ?

Maybe we could agree on an etiquette which helps everyone ?"

There is an etiquette that helps everyone.

As it stated in the site FAQs 'no reply means not interested'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon


"Looking at things from a slightly different perspective. I can see why the Op said it would be helpful to delete.

A couple mentioned that they like to read messages together so they can both agree. ( message read by one but not both) , so recipient assumed not interested.

A lady read a message but didn't have time to respond at that moment. Deleted as assume not interested.

Just two examples and of course the obvious. Why do guys keep sending g messages ?

Maybe we could agree on an etiquette which helps everyone ?

There is an etiquette that helps everyone.

As it stated in the site FAQs 'no reply means not interested'"

But the above sample of examples show that it's not necessarily the case A delete is a clear indication requiring no effort. ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Looking at things from a slightly different perspective. I can see why the Op said it would be helpful to delete.

A couple mentioned that they like to read messages together so they can both agree. ( message read by one but not both) , so recipient assumed not interested.

A lady read a message but didn't have time to respond at that moment. Deleted as assume not interested.

Just two examples and of course the obvious. Why do guys keep sending g messages ?

Maybe we could agree on an etiquette which helps everyone ?

There is an etiquette that helps everyone.

As it stated in the site FAQs 'no reply means not interested'

But the above sample of examples show that it's not necessarily the case A delete is a clear indication requiring no effort. ?"

Sure... But a no response, is still a response, no?... In life if you knocked on someone's door and they didn't physically answer it. Would you leave after a few minutes? Or camp outside their doorstep for 3mths in the hope they eventually would open the door?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Looking at things from a slightly different perspective. I can see why the Op said it would be helpful to delete.

A couple mentioned that they like to read messages together so they can both agree. ( message read by one but not both) , so recipient assumed not interested.

A lady read a message but didn't have time to respond at that moment. Deleted as assume not interested.

Just two examples and of course the obvious. Why do guys keep sending g messages ?

Maybe we could agree on an etiquette which helps everyone ?

There is an etiquette that helps everyone.

As it stated in the site FAQs 'no reply means not interested'

But the above sample of examples show that it's not necessarily the case A delete is a clear indication requiring no effort. ?"

It is a clear indication

If someone wanted to meet you they would respond lol

Why is this so hard to understand?

How would they get to know you and potentially arrange a meet if they make zero contact with you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry


"Looking at things from a slightly different perspective. I can see why the Op said it would be helpful to delete.

A couple mentioned that they like to read messages together so they can both agree. ( message read by one but not both) , so recipient assumed not interested.

A lady read a message but didn't have time to respond at that moment. Deleted as assume not interested.

Just two examples and of course the obvious. Why do guys keep sending g messages ?

Maybe we could agree on an etiquette which helps everyone ?

There is an etiquette that helps everyone.

As it stated in the site FAQs 'no reply means not interested'

But the above sample of examples show that it's not necessarily the case A delete is a clear indication requiring no effort. ?"

No reply is a clear indication that, at that time, the recipient doesn’t wish to reply. For whatever reason.

The easiest thing would be for the site etiquette, that’s quite clearly stated in the FAQs, to be accepted by people who think it shouldn’t apply to them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't reply to messages if I'm bit interested. Its not rude, I get so many I'd be here all day, it's just a quick and easy way for me to manage my messages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top