FabSwingers.com forum: Has your vibrator changed your sex life?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A few years ago I had an ex who we will call C, C had been single and celibate for two years, during which her only sexual partner was a vibrator. The only way for C to cum while having sex was for her to be on top of me going at it with her button like a mad woman, it was pretty weird. As much as she wanted to make it my fault I had been with several women in that two year period and had no complaints in that department. I was actually with K before and she regularly told me whenever she was cumming, which happened several times whenever we had sex. K would frequently tell me I'd have her cumming like a train. The older and freakier I get the more women tell me they have experiences with me that they've never had before and as much as I'm thankful to have been that person for them, I personally still feel like I could do with gaining a lot more experience myself, if I'm to be honest. Especially when you have a profile in a place like this.

Anyway I don't think C ever accepted the idea that, after two years straight of training her brain and body to only cum with a vibrator, it would take a while of retraining her brain and body to get back to a more natural state, where she could enjoy more pleasure from Normal interactions with human beings.

Recently I met M, we saw each other for a while, she had broken up with her husband and was waiting for the divorce to be processed.

One day after we had met a few times we were chilling on my couch talking about the last time we met, which happened to be the first time I had visited her house. She told me if she had known that I was coming over to fuck her, she probably wouldn't have made herself cum four times before that day, thinking about getting fucked by me! We laughed about it and I asked her about what she had done that day and M told me about her egg shaped vibrator that helped her get there rather quickly. I told her the story about my experience with C and she lit up, said OMG, I was right and started to tell me that back in the day, before she started to use a vibrator she'd get so turned on and excited that she'd squirt, she'd often leave a big mess and sometimes she felt conscious about it, but since she began using a vibrator, that stopped happening for her altogether and hadn't happened for years! She asked me if I thought there was a way for her to get back to that place? I said I couldn't be sure, but If there was, it would probably start with getting rid of her vibrator and pleasuring herself with her fingers, because any human being she comes into contact with will have fingers and that would probably be a good start. She told me she hadn't actually done it with her fingers for ages. I gave her a nice kiss and told her if she wanted to, she could do it right there on the couch in front of me, I'd be glad to watch and if she wanted to do it with my cock in her mouth, I'd be happy to help haha! She said she didn't think she could concentrate on sucking my cock and making herself cum at the same time, so I stood up, pulled my cock out and told her I'd fuck her face if it made things easier, to which she agreed, took my cock into her mouth and slid her hands into her pants. She played with herself until she came while I was holding her hair and fucking her face and when she was done, I took her to the bedroom for a few rounds. Funny I remember so much more about this than other things!

She said after she did try for a few days with her fingers but the vibrator was just too hard for her to stay away from. We had another interesting experience with the vibrator the last time we met but if you lot like this, maybe I'll write about that in another thread, today I'd like to stay on topic.

I'm especially curious in a place like this to hear some of the experiences of what ladies remember their bodies being like and reacting to sex before using vibrators and how things changed afterwards.

So I'm curious, has your vibrator changed your sex life?

Was sex with people different before using vibrators and toys?

Has it changed much for you after?

Did you start having sex with people or toys first?

Have toys made sex with people more or less pleasurable for you?

Or have you needed more toys and more kinks to become satisfied as your "tolerance" for sexual interactions or your appetite for fun with toys grows?

I think it's super interesting and this is a great place to have the conversation!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Not really, I like a vibrator but can't beat the real thing, the connection, knowing he's turned on, making him moan are all the things that lead me to a great orgasm. DIY by vibrator is never as intense and normally just a quick fix.

Mrs

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"Not really, I like a vibrator but can't beat the real thing, the connection, knowing he's turned on, making him moan are all the things that lead me to a great orgasm. DIY by vibrator is never as intense and normally just a quick fix.

Mrs "

This! Despite my DIY massage gun vibrator being incredible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not you can't beat the real thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mrs "

This I find most interesting as the "human element" plays a big part.

It's also something I find somewhat concerning as the 3 answers here are from people my age or a little bit older. K was older than me and she was fine, C & M were both around five years younger than me and had similar experiences and problems.

One thing I've found with a lot of the younger generation with a much longer exposure to smartphones, dating apps and social media is text messages allow them human contact without human interaction, for many of them text is the primary mode of interaction and in real life interactions are secondary to them, not exactly second nature.

It seems from my experience a lot of these women become immune to the "human element" of sex from overexposure to sex toys, because the majority of their sexual interactions are with inanimate objects.

Like the moans the groans, the changes in the how hard a man is or how much they're turning him on, none of this registers for them, have any other men experienced this?

Like I met R twice, she was 32, had never been in a relationship in her life, hadn't had sex for over two years and had a "computer mouse" sort of vibrator and although she squealed like a pig when she came from intercourse, whenever we had sex, having sex with an actual person seemed like a super weird experience for her, like she wasn't really used to having intercourse with something that had a mind of it's own haha.

Maybe I've just met too many weird women from dating apps,who knows.

I'd love to hear from more single or younger people, or from men about some of their experiences, or if I'm the only one that's putting any of this together

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm too old to answer the questions asked but I like my vibrator and I won't be 'training' my body and brain to do without it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Mrs

This I find most interesting as the "human element" plays a big part.

Like the moans the groans, the changes in the how hard a man is or how much they're turning him on, none of this registers for them, have any other men experienced this?

Maybe I've just met too many weird women from dating apps,who knows.

I'd love to hear from more single or younger people, or from men about some of their experiences, or if I'm the only one that's putting any of this together "

Masturbation is a good thing though, right? If you're not in a relationship for whatever reason it's the next best thing.

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By *ccllWoman
over a year ago

Chippenham

Yes and no.

I would say that since getting some toys in the last few years (because my rather nasty ex went ballistic when I had a tiny bullet vibrator) that I've finally worked out my own body and now I can have a good time even if I'm alone.

I would also say that I really can't be bothered with fingers very often anymore because it takes so much longer and isn't usually as intense.

But you can't beat the real thing and I think whether or not I finish depends on how comfortable I am with the person (so I can get out of my own head) rather than because I have a vibrator. The right person can make me finish just as quickly as a toy and I would say I enjoy it more too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mrs " "

I don't think you're too old to answer the question at all and if it's not broke, don't fix it lol

I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation to a point, however many of us will have heard about men who wank and watch porn until they can't get it up for "normal women".

If it's not inhibiting your ability to have pleasure with people, I see nothing wrong with it.

However as you say if it's a "quick fix" that's one thing, if it's your only fix, that's something completely different...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes and no.

I would also say that I really can't be bothered with fingers very often anymore because it takes so much longer and isn't usually as intense.

So I'm curious, I have so many questions of which these are a few lol

Before toys I imagine it was just your fingers right?

Do you feel like the vibrator took the levels of Intensity of your orgasms up in general?

Like before you had your fingers and that was cool but now the vibrator is another level, or is it more before your fingers could get you to that level and now they just can't?

Before the vibrator did you need the "right person" to make you finish?

Or was getting into sexual situations enough to get there?

Would you mind sharing?

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By *ccllWoman
over a year ago

Chippenham

"Yes and no.

I would also say that I really can't be bothered with fingers very often anymore because it takes so much longer and isn't usually as intense.

So I'm curious, I have so many questions of which these are a few lol

Before toys I imagine it was just your fingers right?

Do you feel like the vibrator took the levels of Intensity of your orgasms up in general?

Like before you had your fingers and that was cool but now the vibrator is another level, or is it more before your fingers could get you to that level and now they just can't?

Before the vibrator did you need the "right person" to make you finish?

Or was getting into sexual situations enough to get there?

Would you mind sharing?"

No fingers never got me the same result, obviously it was fun but this is a whole different level, quite frankly I've got short arms and small hands and I just can't quite reach the parts a man or a vibrator can haha!

Yes and no to the question about getting there. It was always the same person so I was very comfortable so no not a problem. Since then I've had some trauma etc... And I'd say confidence is shaken a bit so I find it harder in general to finish unless it's someone I'm totally comfortable with (or I've had some wine).

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh I love the taste of wine on a woman's lips haha

I never really considered the short arms part either haha

The trauma aspect is a really interesting aspect of it too. It's good you're actually aware of that and cool with sharing it. I think it's hard not have trauma or have to deal with "trauma" especially on online platforms these days.

However it's good to take the positives you can from experiences, as it can be quite easy to hold on the negative parts.

Getting comfortable and trusting someone makes a big difference too.

I hope you're meeting people you can be comfortable with. You sound like a pretty cool, honest and straight forward person person to talk to.

It sounds like you're doing pretty well!

Did the trauma and bad experiences lead you to spending longer periods alone hence using the vibrator more?

Could that potentially have anything to do with you taking longer to finish now?

Do you think you could get back to being really comfortable to finishing with someone all the time, or more than once in a session?

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Thought.. Same for men? D struggled to reach orgasm for quite a while since we met, after a sexless marriage and taking care of himself for over a decade..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thought.. Same for men? D struggled to reach orgasm for quite a while since we met, after a sexless marriage and taking care of himself for over a decade.."

I don't see why it would be different for a man to be fair. Our brains function in the same ways.

I imagine he's finished rehabilitation and is firing on all cylinders now? Haha :D

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"Thought.. Same for men? D struggled to reach orgasm for quite a while since we met, after a sexless marriage and taking care of himself for over a decade..

I don't see why it would be different for a man to be fair. Our brains function in the same ways.

I imagine he's finished rehabilitation and is firing on all cylinders now? Haha :D"

Was always firing.. lol it was just the detonation..

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By *ccllWoman
over a year ago

Chippenham

Oh I love the taste of wine on a woman's lips haha

I never really considered the short arms part either haha

However it's good to take the positives you can from experiences, as it can be quite easy to hold on the negative parts.

Getting comfortable and trusting someone makes a big difference too.

I hope you're meeting people you can be comfortable with. You sound like a pretty cool, honest and straight forward person person to talk to.

It sounds like you're doing pretty well!

Did the trauma and bad experiences lead you to spending longer periods alone hence using the vibrator more?

Could that potentially have anything to do with you taking longer to finish now?

Do you think you could get back to being really comfortable to finishing with someone all the time, or more than once in a session?"

I'm not meeting at all at the moment, mostly read the forums to be honest haha! But yes I think I can be comfortable, generally speaking finishing multiple times was never something I had an issue with because I wasn't over thinking anything. Now I worry too much but I'm sure it'll get better.

I'd say using the vibrator more was more because I was single and after a not nice relationship I had never really learned what I did and didn't like. It was more working out how my body works and now it's quite nice to not have to rely on a man being around (and being half decent) for me to have a good time. But I would always choose the real thing over a wank, you don't get intimacy from silicone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh I love the taste of wine on a woman's lips haha

I never really considered the short arms part either haha

However it's good to take the positives you can from experiences, as it can be quite easy to hold on the negative parts.

Getting comfortable and trusting someone makes a big difference too.

I hope you're meeting people you can be comfortable with. You sound like a pretty cool, honest and straight forward person person to talk to.

It sounds like you're doing pretty well!

Did the trauma and bad experiences lead you to spending longer periods alone hence using the vibrator more?

Could that potentially have anything to do with you taking longer to finish now?

Do you think you could get back to being really comfortable to finishing with someone all the time, or more than once in a session?

Thanks for your input

You definitely don't get intimacy alone lol

I know what you mean where the forum here can seem to be energy giving and the meeting side can just be very draining haha

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