FabSwingers.com forum: Winked back but don't read messages?

By *nicornExplorers OP Couple
over a year ago

north east

So something we've found a lot, and we mean a lot recently.

We will wink and the said party wink us back, so we approach in a well written message, engaging from both a profile description and generally polite opener.

Then we spend weeks on unread?

Why wink if you have 0 interest in actually engaging?

Does anyone else have this particular experience?

(We read the description always before messaging incase they have any particular mentions to likes/dislikes or preferences that do not align with ours).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t use winks so can’t really comment but I’m sure lots of single males would be happy to read it isn’t just them being left unread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I have had that experience a couple of times. It’s really frustrating, I tend to think perhaps the message gets lost in a torrent of others… but I don’t want to message again in case it’s seen as pestering!

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By *xJustForFun!Couple
over a year ago

aberdeen

Could just be location.

We've had lots of winks from people all over the country recently. Some we message back and have had some cracking conversations and laughs with. Others we just wink back.

Nice to be nice to one another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had this a lot in the past but decided to try and engage with people again recently.

Local couples send us a wink, we wink back and send a well written message and we don't ever hear back. It's why we don't usually respond to winks as they never seem to mean much. Just feels slightly confusing to us as we're wondering if we did something "wrong".

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Maybe it's because you're not looking for single guys

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By *agicfingers1Man
over a year ago

near Brighton

"Yes, I have had that experience a couple of times. It’s really frustrating, I tend to think perhaps the message gets lost in a torrent of others… but I don’t want to message again in case it’s seen as pestering!"

Same here

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

"So something we've found a lot, and we mean a lot recently.

We will wink and the said party wink us back, so we approach in a well written message, engaging from both a profile description and generally polite opener.

Then we spend weeks on unread?

Why wink if you have 0 interest in actually engaging?

Does anyone else have this particular experience?

(We read the description always before messaging incase they have any particular mentions to likes/dislikes or preferences that do not align with ours)."

Yep, it’s an odd way of interacting here sometimes. Not a lot we can do about it apart from think ‘their loss’ and move onto the next ones.

Sometimes it could be half the couple winked but the other picked up the message and didn’t agree with the other partner. It’s shitty to be ignored like that but inevitable as people don’t have to interact.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Ignore winks most of the time.

When we do acknowledge them 95% of the time neither a wink back nor a nice message goes anywhere so what's the point?

Yeah one or two led to meets in our time here but but we are firmly in the camp of "if you want to get to know us just message".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get this quite alot but i think it’s because they get so many messages the message gets lost unfortunately

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By *8v3nCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Well first of all I am not too bothered about using fabs features in a way which ought to be "the right way". Second our profile is couples profile both of us has access. So sometimes I can do one things and L goes - naw not bothering. So yeah coms I agree could look a bit confusing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wink system is very hit and miss. If I wink and they wink back I usually message but so many don't when it's vice versa.

I guess really if someone stands out enough to wink them then It would probably be best to just message first instead

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By *nicornExplorers OP Couple
over a year ago

north east

It's massively odd, we read profiles so if 1 says they don't respond to winks, then we straight up message.

But when someone winks in response you'd naturally believe that's the "yes please message us", least that's how we believe the translation of the feature works.

Who knows, we won't send more than 1 message as it feels like pestering and not to be to over confident but believe we are a fantastic couple to chat too atop of our other redeeming factors im sure hehe

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By *nicornExplorers OP Couple
over a year ago

north east

Quality over quantity, we like to engage single males at our own choosing, a free for all dick pic really isn't within our desire preference, sadly majority ruin for minority, but such is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quality over quantity, we like to engage single males at our own choosing, a free for all dick pic really isn't within our desire preference, sadly majority ruin for minority, but such is."

You do it your way. I think a wink is an easy way to break the ice sometimes, but if reciprocated I definitely look to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get it quite a lot too… I find it bizarre to show interest and not follow it through but who knows why … *shrugs*

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Yes we’ve had this and also us returning a wink back and then nothing!

The problem is with winks sent is that unless you hotlist them then it doesn’t show a list of who you’ve winked at.

So if the wink is returned and they don’t message from that they fall down the crack

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"So something we've found a lot, and we mean a lot recently.

We will wink and the said party wink us back, so we approach in a well written message, engaging from both a profile description and generally polite opener.

Then we spend weeks on unread?

Why wink if you have 0 interest in actually engaging?

Does anyone else have this particular experience?

(We read the description always before messaging incase they have any particular mentions to likes/dislikes or preferences that do not align with ours)."

Our view is that most couples profiles are Male driven. They wink, then maybe show the Lady the message and she says "no thanks". We have loads and loads of experience of returning winks and nothing happens. Also swapping messages and face pics, they say they'd love to meet, then nothing. We suspect the Men send the winks and messages, then the Lady get involved and it's a no. Some would say the site has a very large number of time wasters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So something we've found a lot, and we mean a lot recently.

We will wink and the said party wink us back, so we approach in a well written message, engaging from both a profile description and generally polite opener.

Then we spend weeks on unread?

Why wink if you have 0 interest in actually engaging?

Does anyone else have this particular experience?

(We read the description always before messaging incase they have any particular mentions to likes/dislikes or preferences that do not align with ours).

That makes a lot of sense actually about one half showing the other and then them not being interested…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not exactly the same, but similar. I've had one lady message me recently. Her profile looked genuine too. Her message was well written out, so happily replied. She got back a few days later, although she'd been online numerous times. No problem I thought. Then she replies with another lovely message. Great I think. I reply. Same thing happens again. I Block! Do one you nugget. You're either interested or you're not. She messaged me first too. I don't get it, but hey ho.

I blocked another person around the same time. Pretty much exactly the same thing, except I messaged her initially. But ultimately, both being silly buggers.

I don't get why people do this, I don't actually care either. Move on

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By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"The wink system is very hit and miss. If I wink and they wink back I usually message but so many don't when it's vice versa.

I guess really if someone stands out enough to wink them then It would probably be best to just message first instead

Definitely agree, very hit and miss.

On the rare occasion I receive a wink, I read the profile carefully, wink back, and then politely message them/her. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've considerately replied to messages, and then not heard anything again. I try not to take it personally...lol

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I think the wink is my main method of engagement at this point. Usually looking for souls such as yourselves who will take the time.

Maybe just gotten a rotten egg this time around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found that sometimes I will message someone, they reply and we have a nice, interesting chat, make some outline plans to meet up, they go offline, and you never hear from them again. I recently had exactly that from a lady who was just down the road (literally) from me, so frustrating.

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