FabSwingers.com forum: One half of the couple

By *ountry Peaks OP Couple
over a year ago

In The Surrey Hills

If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

We wouldn’t.

It’s whatever works for the couple though, everyone is different.

If we all thought and felt the same then we wouldn’t want for variety

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By *icepair2012Couple
over a year ago

Crewe

Mr here, I wouldn’t do that but mrs has and dose sometimes but that’s our dynamic and how we play, each to there own?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally no.

We're in this together.

Miss S x

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By *handlerMonicaCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

If everyone involved agrees to it, then bt definition it's acceptable. We wouldn't generally do it ourselves, although M did once meet a single guy for a coffee social, ahead of a planned meet with him.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Personally I wouldn't meet 1 half, and 9/10 it would be the male half, I'd take it as it was a single male pretending to be a couple, plus I want to social with both people I'd be meeting.

Mrs

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We would think they're not actually a couple.

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By *esi_in_brusselsMan
over a year ago

Brussels, Belgium

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

Nope, you may meet at a public place to check the chemistry but if I'm meeting one half of the couple then it's not a couple.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

If only the guy turned up for a social meet I would assume there is no other half.

A fair few single men pretend to be a couple. They hope on the day of a meet they can say the wife is ill, the wife's mother is ill and she is looking after her, etc. They hope the meet will still go ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

We wouldn’t we always go together , anyhow that’s the joy of socials they can be great fun with chat and giggles

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Not acceptable for us. We're not here to be vetted on someone else's behalf

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Which one of you would be doing the vetting op?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I’m meeting a couple I want to talk to both first and meet both together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

No way. There are too many guys pretending to be a couple.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

How many of the comments from couples above would honestly still apply if it was the female half that wanted to meet socially with you first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many of the comments from couples above would honestly still apply if it was the female half that wanted to meet socially with you first?

Still it would be a no

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By *ecret-64Couple
over a year ago

Wrexham

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting

process?

We have done this, it definitely works. X

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

We're poly and meet separately so yes. But if a couple wasn't we'd think it was suspect tbh.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"How many of the comments from couples above would honestly still apply if it was the female half that wanted to meet socially with you first?

Still no. It's rude to expect both of us to turn up while only one of the other couple does. The exception to this in my opinion is if the dynamic is that one partner chooses for the other and that's agreed between everyone

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

Sounds a bit weird to me. We’re a couple seeking a couple, no exceptions.

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By *inkyFunCplCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Normally we would say no but lately we have considered it as childcare is so rare for us we’d like a social if unsure and then both available on the child free night. Obviously group chats and everyone views already agreed.

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By *KG12Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

We wouldn't, and possibly wouldn't meet for a social if it was only one half of the couple either.

But every1 has to do what works for them

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'm half a couple and no I wouldn't want to do this

We always all meet socially to check there's attraction for all 4 of us .I'm a picky bugger anyway so would have to see someone face to face myself & decide if they're for me.

I would never presume I could just meet a couple or half a couple and not have jack's input either .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

Please can you elaborate on why the question?

For example, is there something which has prompted this situation for you two?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If all agree, of course it is.

I'm thinking though, it can put people off.

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

If agreed before hand, why not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Mrs) have met the female half of the couple socially before and I would again. It worked out well, a couple of drinks, bit of a chat, was a nice afternoon

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By *incscarcoupleCouple
over a year ago

GRIMSBY

Normally as a couple but I did meet another female once for social on my own when sorting out a surprise for mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wouldn't personally as we both would need to see if the chemistry and attraction is right with the other couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It surely depends on how much one partner trusts the others judgement?

I can see the benefit of perhaps one partner meeting up to see how they would click and if they do (and they feel their partner would get on with them) then have a second.

The couple would need to both click with the third (and fourth?) and via versa.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Once one half has met us and we've passed the vetting process (whatever that is and I have a pretty good idea

) what happens if we eventually get to meet the other half and *we* don't want to go ahead?

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By *ountry Peaks OP Couple
over a year ago

In The Surrey Hills

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

Please can you elaborate on why the question?

For example, is there something which has prompted this situation for you two?

It was a suggestion put forward to us, as due to shift work we can’t always be available for a social together.

Although I’ve probably not worded the question exactly as it was proposed, or very well it would seem.

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By *ountry Peaks OP Couple
over a year ago

In The Surrey Hills

"Once one half has met us and we've passed the vetting process (whatever that is and I have a pretty good idea

) what happens if we eventually get to meet the other half and *we* don't want to go ahead?"

Same as any other possible meet if not all getting on/ don’t fancy. Don’t think there was ever a plan to sign contracts binding the agreement

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Once one half has met us and we've passed the vetting process (whatever that is and I have a pretty good idea

) what happens if we eventually get to meet the other half and *we* don't want to go ahead?

Same as any other possible meet if not all getting on/ don’t fancy. Don’t think there was ever a plan to sign contracts binding the agreement

Ok. It would just be a bit awkward from our point of view if we'd met one half agreed to go ahead then on the day changed our mind.

You said just now that due to shift work you're not available at the same time for a social. How about socials where play is an option? Could you both be available for that maybe,?

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By *ountry Peaks OP Couple
over a year ago

In The Surrey Hills

"Which one of you would be doing the vetting op?"

Either/ or

It shouldn’t matter, as a couple we both know what we’re looking for and like, as we communicate with each other before any thing happens.

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By *ountry Peaks OP Couple
over a year ago

In The Surrey Hills

"Once one half has met us and we've passed the vetting process (whatever that is and I have a pretty good idea

) what happens if we eventually get to meet the other half and *we* don't want to go ahead?

Same as any other possible meet if not all getting on/ don’t fancy. Don’t think there was ever a plan to sign contracts binding the agreement

Ok. It would just be a bit awkward from our point of view if we'd met one half agreed to go ahead then on the day changed our mind.

You said just now that due to shift work you're not available at the same time for a social. How about socials where play is an option? Could you both be available for that maybe,?

Not having much experience, we’d class a social as a social evening (other times may suit) getting to know whoever in a relaxed situation. A play meet would be totally different, and something we’d only do together

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Once one half has met us and we've passed the vetting process (whatever that is and I have a pretty good idea

) what happens if we eventually get to meet the other half and *we* don't want to go ahead?

Same as any other possible meet if not all getting on/ don’t fancy. Don’t think there was ever a plan to sign contracts binding the agreement

Ok. It would just be a bit awkward from our point of view if we'd met one half agreed to go ahead then on the day changed our mind.

You said just now that due to shift work you're not available at the same time for a social. How about socials where play is an option? Could you both be available for that maybe,?

Ok. I'm a strong believer that people must do this swinging stuff in the way that suits them but how can the person/people you meet individually get to know the absent partner in a relaxed way? Or have I misunderstood and you'd do two socials, one each so to speak?

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

It depends on the dynamic of the couple if they meet separately then that would be fine.

We only meet as a couple and we only meet couples so we wouldn’t want to be vetted by only one half of the couple.We have to have a 4 way connection or we won’t take things any further.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

That would very much seem to be a one way vetting process!

Gbat

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

We all have busy lives and can be difficult to arrange meets let alone socials where all are free lol. In any situation most would like to have some attraction to all parties involved so a meeting by only 2 or 3 as opposed to all of you would not achieve this end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the first time meeting but Sooz has met both couples and guys by herself both socially and for fun. But we had got to know them well and never had any problems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Horses for courses. I have met a few people by myself, but not as a vetting process. The better half wouldn't meet anyone by herself.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"If a couple wish to meet another couple or single, Is it acceptable for just one of them to meet socially first, almost like a vetting process?

No at all.

We meet as both a couple and seperatly.

If we where going out together as a couple or even as seperate singles to meet a couple then we expect to meet a couple not just one half.

We certainly would not advertise ourselves as a couple / arrange a couples meet just for me "Mr" to show up with some bollocks story about why my wife's not there.

Been on here long enough to have heard this story as well. We once arranged to meet a couple who at the last moment said only he was coming to "vett" us both.

Instant red flag and told them.where to go.

Assuming for a moment it wasnt a single guy pretending to be a couple, pardon my French but who the fuck did he think was? Why do we have to be vetted by one half of a couple but we don't get to vett them both? Smells of horseshit because it is horseshit.

We have however certainly had meets where I (male half) have met a couple for them to meet my wife at a later time...but in those cases it was the couple looking for a single guy and I joined them in a single capacity...and then later as a couple in a couple capacity.

So no...not acceptable unless the parties in question are looking to meet one half of a couple to begin with.

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