FabSwingers.com forum: Ask first?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I thought anal sex was something that deserved some communication first. No? Why is it, the last two guys I’ve been with have tried to just force it in, mid session, no words spoken about it, and then acted wounded when I was annoyed and asked them to stop?

Am I wrong? I’m starting to feel like I need to hand out laminated lists of rules now….

(Definitely laminated

)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ob.42Man
over a year ago

Near Yarmouth

Even if it's listed on interests, it isn't something that should be attempted without permission surely?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *damsmith12233Man
over a year ago

leicester

"I thought anal sex was something that deserved some communication first. No? Why is it, the last two guys I’ve been with have tried to just force it in, mid session, no words spoken about it, and then acted wounded when I was annoyed and asked them to stop?

Am I wrong? I’m starting to feel like I need to hand out laminated lists of rules now….

(Definitely laminated

I would hazard a guess at it being polite to ask before to knock on said back door

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow

No words!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antricSeeker60Man
over a year ago

Durham

Some people have know idea about respecting other’s boundaries and yeah definitely laminated

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

Your not wrong anal is something I always tell guys I won’t do on a first meeting. I also go through my boundaries first before any fun takes place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinstrapMan
over a year ago

Barnsley

It would defo need to be discussed and chatted about before hand....damn cheeky to just try to bob it in there ha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he said it so quietly you didn't hear haha "am going in"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe he said it so quietly you didn't hear haha "am going in" "
not funny!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atandasmileMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Am I wrong? I’m starting to feel like I need to hand out laminated lists of rules now….

(Definitely laminated

Do you get to keep the laminated fuck list as a coaster afterwards?

But, more seriously, you're not wrong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

I had this a while back. Difference being, he went in anyway

Apparently, being on all fours was tantamount to saying "slip it up my jacksy, will ya?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

That's not consensual and so could be construed as r*pe (can't use the word it's banned ) - definitely not on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you wrong for getting annoyed at a man attempting to do something to you that didn't consent to? NO.

Just because he's already balls deep in one hole, doesn't mean he automatically has the right to get balls deep in the other hole. Its your body so its always your choice. Even if it kills the sexual energy and mood, if you don't want to do it, don't.

I mean how about you randomly shove a finger up their arse next time and see how they like it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe he said it so quietly you didn't hear haha "am going in" not funny!"

I was just making light of the situation didn't mean anything bad by it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had this a while back. Difference being, he went in anyway

Apparently, being on all fours was tantamount to saying "slip it up my jacksy, will ya?" "

Right? Do they get confused?!! I’m not so naive I actually think they do. I’m so staggered, and trying not to take it really personally as a sign of a complete absence of respect for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Not something I would do without consent either before or during, wouldnt tollerate it being done to my wife.

Its not on and guys like that need dealing with. Might wanna speak to the police.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

It's something that should be discussed beforehand and anyone who tries it without asking first about it in my mind is a misogynistic dickhead. One guy I met tried it with me and I told him in no uncertain terms he had no right to presume he could do that .What was worse was I had told him beforehand it was not something I would do with him. The meet ended there and then.

It's disgusting that some people think only of what they want and have no respect or idea of consent either. Just because someone has agreed to have sex with you does not mean they get to use your body for their pleasure alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If you really don’t like it, tell them beforehand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you really don’t like it, tell them beforehand "

I will now

But what I’m saying is, I didn’t know I had to. That’s what I mean - do people need user guides for sex now?! Did I get unlucky, or is this a sign of the times…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you really don’t like it, tell them beforehand

I will now

But what I’m saying is, I didn’t know I had to. That’s what I mean - do people need user guides for sex now?! Did I get unlucky, or is this a sign of the times…"

Your a very beautiful woman so your going to get a lot of attention even from people who will try and take advantage of the situation unfortunately

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iren!Woman
over a year ago

leeds

Ahhhh what a horrible experience!

Concent is 100% required before anything.

My fantasy is to have two guys but I am not interested in anal but it's almost expected. When I mention I am not interested they always seem shocked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you really don’t like it, tell them beforehand "

You shouldn't need to. Anal sex is just like hopping in a cab after a night out and wondering whether the driver had a busy night... YOU ALWAYS ASK!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Fabbers are usually big on clear communication.

So ladies, communicate that anal is off the table

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fabbers are usually big on clear communication.

So ladies, communicate that anal is off the table "

So no anal on top of the table? Noted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you really don’t like it, tell them beforehand

You shouldn't need to. Anal sex is just like hopping in a cab after a night out and wondering whether the driver had a busy night... YOU ALWAYS ASK!

You talk a lot of sense.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

"Fabbers are usually big on clear communication.

So ladies, communicate that anal is off the table "

But they shouldn't have to. What is wrong with some men that they think they can do what they want without consent?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"If you really don’t like it, tell them beforehand

You shouldn't need to. Anal sex is just like hopping in a cab after a night out and wondering whether the driver had a busy night... YOU ALWAYS ASK!

You talk a lot of sense."

Are you going to try the leaving it to chance tactic with guy number 3?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Fabbers are usually big on clear communication.

So ladies, communicate that anal is off the table

But they shouldn't have to. What is wrong with some men that they think they can do what they want without consent?"

If a woman is having sex with someone then she absolutely should have to communicate her absolute no gos

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you really don’t like it, tell them beforehand

You shouldn't need to. Anal sex is just like hopping in a cab after a night out and wondering whether the driver had a busy night... YOU ALWAYS ASK!

You talk a lot of sense.

Are you going to try the leaving it to chance tactic with guy number 3?"

No, I’ve already said ‘I will now’ in response to your previous message about this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok cool. Laminated list and serious pre sex discussion with frowning, it will have to be

This is why single women have such long profiles, eh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok cool. Laminated list and serious pre sex discussion with frowning, it will have to be

This is why single women have such long profiles, eh"

Can we get a copy of the laminated list?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok cool. Laminated list and serious pre sex discussion with frowning, it will have to be

This is why single women have such long profiles, eh"

Perhaps try the same with a strap on, seriously I think there is to much influence from porn films. People should learn to communicate and try seduction

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

Some men may be limited by their (lack of) brain cells or common sense, especially in the heat of the moment.

It’s no excuse not to ask before hand though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otdave75Man
over a year ago

Chandlers Ford

WTF, can’t believe anyone would do that. Have a greased up dildo to hand next time and shove it in them and see how they like it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otdave75Man
over a year ago

Chandlers Ford

In fact, don’t grease it up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A gentleman always asks first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok cool. Laminated list and serious pre sex discussion with frowning, it will have to be

This is why single women have such long profiles, eh"

I think you should just save both you and your partners time and invest in a shock collar for him to wear. T&C's of sex with you, no shock collar, no rumpy pumpy. Cuts out all the boring pre play rule lectures because now, if he does anything you don't like... ZAP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Permission to act is the key otherwise it's a criminal offence

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok cool. Laminated list and serious pre sex discussion with frowning, it will have to be

This is why single women have such long profiles, eh

Can we get a copy of the laminated list?"

Absolutely, Sunshine. There will be a £10 admin fee though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok cool. Laminated list and serious pre sex discussion with frowning, it will have to be

This is why single women have such long profiles, eh

Can we get a copy of the laminated list?

Absolutely, Sunshine. There will be a £10 admin fee though

Admin fee god dam what about a free sample?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"I had this a while back. Difference being, he went in anyway

Apparently, being on all fours was tantamount to saying "slip it up my jacksy, will ya?"

Right? Do they get confused?!! I’m not so naive I actually think they do. I’m so staggered, and trying not to take it really personally as a sign of a complete absence of respect for me"

I was agreeing with you. And sharing a very unfortunate incident from a couple of years ago. I should have gone to the police, as it was most certainly r@pe, in my view. However, the thought of having my phone taken into evidence put me off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

"I had this a while back. Difference being, he went in anyway

Apparently, being on all fours was tantamount to saying "slip it up my jacksy, will ya?"

Right? Do they get confused?!! I’m not so naive I actually think they do. I’m so staggered, and trying not to take it really personally as a sign of a complete absence of respect for me

I’m so sorry something like this occurred. I hope you have had the opportunity to properly process and try and deal with this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

no your not wrong,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"I had this a while back. Difference being, he went in anyway

Apparently, being on all fours was tantamount to saying "slip it up my jacksy, will ya?"

Right? Do they get confused?!! I’m not so naive I actually think they do. I’m so staggered, and trying not to take it really personally as a sign of a complete absence of respect for me

I’m so sorry something like this occurred. I hope you have had the opportunity to properly process and try and deal with this."

Ach, I'm fine. Thank you. It was a while ago. Once the pain went & I talked it through with a good friend & made my decision not to report him, I moved on.

Nothing like that has ever happened since, he was obviously a bad 'un.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

"I had this a while back. Difference being, he went in anyway

Apparently, being on all fours was tantamount to saying "slip it up my jacksy, will ya?"

Right? Do they get confused?!! I’m not so naive I actually think they do. I’m so staggered, and trying not to take it really personally as a sign of a complete absence of respect for me

I’m so sorry something like this occurred. I hope you have had the opportunity to properly process and try and deal with this.

Ach, I'm fine. Thank you. It was a while ago. Once the pain went & I talked it through with a good friend & made my decision not to report him, I moved on.

Nothing like that has ever happened since, he was obviously a bad 'un.

I’m glad you are OK. Hopefully Karma or the Universe will sort him out.

Peace and Respect

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

You're absolutely not wrong in thinking that. Some guys need to realise that not every woman enjoys anal and if they do, consent is required, as well as appreciating that meeting up is not solely about their own personal enjoyment. The best sex is when you are both on the same page and pleasuring each other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

Don’t really get why blokes want anal sex all the time me myself it doesn’t really feel any better than pussy or maybe it’s just me I only even done anal with one person.but you should atleast be polite enough to ask.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He absolutely should not have tried to go there... I always before a meet run through my 'list'. What's on the table, what is not, what I will do, what I will not. What 'may' be offered, and what definitely isn't. I'd say I'm actually pretty clinical in how I steer that discussion around... As in chat/flirt - okay let's have the 'adult consent talk then'. And it has worked fairly well for me. I think if the cards aren't laid on the table then boundaries can be blurred... Lay out your stall early though I think.

However, that's in absolutely no way condoning their actions at all! Or stating you shouldn't have just expected them to go on being respectful enough to ask first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *haron StonerTV/TS
over a year ago

Haywards Heath

Wah, well what do you think would happen meeting total strangers on a sex site.

Hearts n flowers? You were lucky they didn't bring their mates as well to fuck you.

You take chances on here and its no different than real life meeting people away from here.

You never know what shit your meeting til you do.

You are here on your own so be careful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wah, well what do you think would happen meeting total strangers on a sex site.

Hearts n flowers? You were lucky they didn't bring their mates as well to fuck you.

You take chances on here and its no different than real life meeting people away from here.

You never know what shit your meeting til you do.

You are here on your own so be careful. "

Meh! If you facetime/chat/social first, and/or only at a club then it's at least damage/danger limitations. Less chance of something going wrong when on a home meet you have someone's phone number, reg plate/photo, and pass those details on to someone else too... Just because it's a 'sex site' doesn't equal anyone having to be stupid!... I did more risky behaviour back in my early twenties jumping in a taxi back to a total randomers house after a night out than I've ever done on here to be honest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread