FabSwingers.com forum: Manners

By *ugbyunion OP Man
over a year ago

good old yorkshire Sheffield

What is wrong with some people a polite message saying hello and asking how they are , you meet their age and sex in what they are looking for then they block you without a single reply a simple no thanks would be more polite.

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By *roggMan
over a year ago

haverfordwest

it is a bit of a puzzle with some people and their pyscolgy on here although there are plenty of genuine and good people on here. i think that blocking is something that does happen to many people aswell - maybe it is men who experience it more than others on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can imagine how much mail single ladies and some couples get, it's always possible to reply to every message, if you were not what they were looking for they may have blocked you to stop repeat messages. Just because they haven't answered doesn't mean they are rude!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

dont worry about it .. people meet - other people flirt with the idea.

Youll see regular posters asking for meets - every day of the week in some cases, though they never put an updated verification on.

Mostly they are wanting face pics or a tele number.. folks is folks im afraid.

It is a frustration, but when a meet gets on - nothing beats it so keep you rhead at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit I don't like....Hi how are u .... Messages and tend to ignore them, but I wouldn't block someone for it. It's just a bit dull and doesn't spark any interest in the slightest. But that's just me x

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"What is wrong with some people a polite message saying hello and asking how they are , you meet their age and sex in what they are looking for then they block you without a single reply a simple no thanks would be more polite."

I am only speaking for myself and I can understand people saying that cannot possibly reply to all messages.

I totally get that, however, I do try to reply to all messages even though most are a very brief "Thanks for mailing me, but we are looking for different things. Best of luck" - takes a couple of seconds and perhaps I dont get as many messages as other people.

I just think that I dont know who is at the other end of my message, maybe somebody who has already tried a few people and had a few rejections or just a really bad day. I dont want to make anybody feel worse for my reply. But hey that is just me - I respect other people feeling different about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taken from the sites FaQ

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Well I've just blocked someone after sending them a not so pleasant response to their message. They will no doubt come on here like you bleating about sending a nice message, meeting my criteria blah blah and got blocked.

But why, after reading my profile would a bi taxi driver contact me to have sex in the back of his cab tonight?!!

I bet you DON'T meet what the other person is looking for, but you thought you'd chance it anyway.

I could be wrong...but I doubt it!

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

I think what the problem is and its got nothing to do with manners.....

Its due to messages received earlier, alot of people,quite often men from what Ive been told..... They dont accept a polite no thanx,they get abusive....

So if someone doesnt reply your not for them.... Dont gripe about it...... Concentrate your efforts on the ones that do answer you and are interested

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I can honestly say I only ever had a handful of messages that were a bit childish. Not abusive just the "teddy has been thrown out the cot" type when I said I was not interested.

I am fully aware that we dont have to reply and that it is not considered rude not to reply to each message. It is just something I prefer to do.

I will say though that once I have sent my polite but assertive "no, thanks" I will not usually reply to any further messages.

We all have our own way of handling our email traffic I guess

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think what the problem is and its got nothing to do with manners.....

Its due to messages received earlier, alot of people,quite often men from what Ive been told..... They dont accept a polite no thanx,they get abusive....

So if someone doesnt reply your not for them.... Dont gripe about it...... Concentrate your efforts on the ones that do answer you and are interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the nature of the site - I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked by people I've never even messaged or spoken to lol

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

It's the nature of the site - I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked by people I've never even messaged or spoken to lol"

Actually you have a point - I have been blocked by people with whom I have never spoken or interacted in any way. It is what it is

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By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter

The FAQ is tailored to make the site work.

How to kill a site like this is to have 497 rules that users must adhere to or be banned.

Nevertheless, not all that is proscribed or illegal in society is the inverse of the complete guide to behaving honourably and respectfully to others.

CTRL+C will copy and simple "Thank you but no thanks" message from notepad and CTRL+V will paste it into a reply, that and one click to send.

If you are getting 500 messages a day and 499 of them are not what you seek, then all you need to do is rewrite your profile so that it accurately reflects what you do and more importantly do not seek.

The Block button can them come in to play.

============================

If your FIRST resort is to hit the block button, or simply delete and ignore with no reply, then frankly it is rude, and one cannot be rude to others, yet in the same breath expect to be treated with respect by others.

Obviously this is only my own personal opinion and not a criticism of others, I don't own you or anyone else (on here at least... lol) so have to right to say how they should behave.

But candy always attracts nicer people than vinegar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But why, after reading my profile would a bi taxi driver contact me to have sex in the back of his cab tonight?!!

I bet you DON'T meet what the other person is looking for, but you thought you'd chance it anyway.

I could be wrong...but I doubt it!"

Well there's a dent to my ego. I think I got the same message from the same taxi driver. There I was thinking I was special.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

So you are in my age range, you are not married, you fit the other things I have in my profile. What about the stuff I don't have in there? That attraction when I look at your photos, that twinkle in your eye I'm looking for, that certain look that says "I'm gonna fuck you like I stole you." No? None of those, thats why I may block you. Please note use of you is not intended personally, it is merely an example.

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Sometimes its not you as a person thats blocked it maybe just ALL single males for example...... Sometimes people will ban local people as they want to keep their swinging activities hush hush

I had someone decline contact with me because they said someone who'd left me a veri was a nutter.....

Life goes on..... Why try and workout why someone doesnt want you.....

Its a numbers game.... Cast your net wider and have fun

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By *amie0151Man
over a year ago

Wallasey

Good manners cost nothing

Thank you for reading my reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not replying has nothing to do with manners quite simply if we look at your profile and/or message and decide we arent going to meet you then we wont message you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really? Does this sort of thing go on?

I can't believe it.

I always thought everyone replied nicely to every message they were sent, its only polite and wouldn't take long at all.

I strongly suggest that everyone here creates a new forum topic along these very lines to make sure the subject gets maximum exposure as this revelation with be dynamite and blow the lid off this scandal! I'm sure no one has.mentioned it so far either.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

If we look at someones profile and they aren't for us for any reason we block them. It's not personal, just away of marking.

I do think there should be a dustbin for these threads though. None bring up anything new.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What makes it difficult when people don't reply to messages is that I'm not sure they don't want to at least chat to me. Just because a message has been deleted does not necessarily mean they aren't interested, or am I being a tad optimistic? Thing is, if you then send another message or two, you come across as a stalker or desperate. If they don't reply to the 2nd message, I usually block them as I don't want to pester folks.

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

If I send a message and get no reply I assume theyre not interested but this int always the case....

I do like how fab remind us about who Ive contacted though..... Great idea

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"What makes it difficult when people don't reply to messages is that I'm not sure they don't want to at least chat to me. Just because a message has been deleted does not necessarily mean they aren't interested, or am I being a tad optimistic? Thing is, if you then send another message or two, you come across as a stalker or desperate. If they don't reply to the 2nd message, I usually block them as I don't want to pester folks."
Why does it confuse you? If they wanted to chat to you surely they would answer the message, not delete it???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What makes it difficult when people don't reply to messages is that I'm not sure they don't want to at least chat to me. Just because a message has been deleted does not necessarily mean they aren't interested, or am I being a tad optimistic? Thing is, if you then send another message or two, you come across as a stalker or desperate. If they don't reply to the 2nd message, I usually block them as I don't want to pester folks. Why does it confuse you? If they wanted to chat to you surely they would answer the message, not delete it???"

Because sometimes the message has been read and left up for a few days before being deleted. Maybe I'm being optomistic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe...just maybe... THEY JUST DONT FANCY YOU.

Stop whining and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst feature of Fab is the status on sent messages. It just makes some people obsess over what's not been read, what's not been replied to, what's been deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why if they are not interested, did not ask you to mail them and have not mailed you personally then its reasonable to ignore and block. I am pretty certain you dont contact every junk mail company who contacts you telling them politely you are not interested.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"The worst feature of Fab is the status on sent messages. It just makes some people obsess over what's not been read, what's not been replied to, what's been deleted."

no way - it shows you exactly who is messing you about

i.e if they read your message and dont relpy ...... dont bother messaging them again

if they dont read your reply ... they never had any inerest in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The worst feature of Fab is the status on sent messages. It just makes some people obsess over what's not been read, what's not been replied to, what's been deleted.

no way - it shows you exactly who is messing you about

i.e if they read your message and dont relpy ...... dont bother messaging them again

if they dont read your reply ... they never had any inerest in the first place

So what you're really saying is if you don't get a reply, they're not interested. So why would you need to see the status?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the following a tad annoying.

I get a polite message asking about my health.

I answer politely.

They ask for the chances of a meet.

I politely decline.

A bit later I get another enquiry about my health.

A bit later yet another

aaaaaaand another

Chances are if I'm not interested in meeting I'm also not inerested in chatting. So it just becomes irritating, that would eventually make me BLOCK

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

god it feels like an epidemic of the same question at the moment... de ja vu all over again.....

is it 5 times in the last 2 days now....

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