FabSwingers.com forum: are modern swingers rude ?

By *orseydave OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich NR5

Ive noticed a trend of when contacting couples, they norm lately is not a polite "thanks but no thanks", but a short curt badly spelt rude reply, and then when one replies simply to say "thanks for replying etc and hope all goes well" - you find yourself blocked !!!

These people need to learn some basic british manners, many times in the past ladies have suggested i join them for a drink in the pub etc, i would never dream of being rude to them, and then blanking them, so why do the lowlifes who frequent this site behave like this ?

PS NOT everyone is a lowlife, but it does seem to attract its fair share

Manners costs nothing and this country needs to start teaching it again

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Pop over to the swingers board. It is currently being debated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the second thread like this today!

Must be a Wednesday thing.

No-one is under any obligation to reply to any message. Common courtesy may exist in the real world but not on the internet where people don't have to physically face others.

Its that simple, there's no point worrying about it. Just deal with it and find someone who will reply.

And by British manners I assume you mean "Hello, do you mind if we have your country little brown person? You do mind? Oh well, this is what we call a gun so we're taking it anyway. What ho!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll say the same as i always say on such theads, i dont reply to men (i say men because its only men i meet i know couples and women can be abusive too) because i got fed up of getting nasty messages back from guys who couldnt take a thanks but no thanks

why should i reply to people only to be told im a fat ugly bitch anyway who should be greatful of their offer?

So if men think im ignorant for not replying its mens fault i dont reply as they put me off sending polite no thanks messages, so whos the real ignorant fookers?

And yes i know not all men are like that on here but untill i send a no thanks reply i dont know whos polite and will accept that and who will get offensive so i just dont send out no thanks replies to anyone

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"And by British manners I assume you mean "Hello, do you mind if we have your country little brown person? You do mind? Oh well, this is what we call a gun so we're taking it anyway. What ho!""

But we do it with our little finger crooked! What could they possibly complain about?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm not modern so I'm ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive noticed a trend of when contacting couples, they norm lately is not a polite "thanks but no thanks", but a short curt badly spelt rude reply, and then when one replies simply to say "thanks for replying etc and hope all goes well" - you find yourself blocked !!!

PS NOT everyone is a lowlife, but it does seem to attract its fair share

Manners costs nothing and this country needs to start teaching it again"

I could not agree more , very well put indeed.

To many over inflated who's out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why should i reply to people only to be told im a fat ugly bitch anyway who should be greatful of their "

I know people say those things but trust me not all men are. I personally would never ever dream of saying such things.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

From the threads I have read people find it easier to say no and then block . It isnt meant to be offensive they are just making sure there are no further messages .

If someone compliments me and there is no attraction I just say thank you and delete all further messages. If i say thank you but no thanks I get a rude message back saying they werent asking for anything so I find it easier just to keep it short then delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive been waiting for a thread that mentions this.. they said a poilte no thanks then blocked me part..

People r protecting themselves from the abuse that normally follows a polite no thanks.. or the guys who cant take no for an answer..

on precious debated threads people have said why not send a no thanks and then block so there is no come back and i have maintained that can u imagien how people will feel to being blocked.. so thanks for showing how it makes people feel when they do block..

if u wanna blame someone.. blame those that cant handle rejection, which is a high percentage.. they are the ones who spoil it for everyone else..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some on here are over sensative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with NN, why reply only to end up in an argument, we're not being rude at all, just less tollerant to people who don't read your profile, why list your likes/dislikes if they don't read your profile, we all start off with good intentions but over time the rude people do get to you and you become hardened to your requirements. Is that our fault? I think not. I have very strong opinions about bi guys so rather thamn offend I ask them not to contact me, it doesn't stop them so who is being rude?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people in general can be c**ts

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"ive been waiting for a thread that mentions this.. "

Really? Not very long I would imagine! There are about 10 a day

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By *r-MissCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I really don't understand why guys do this, if a person has taken the time to reply with a no thanks (even if it's spelt wrong), why do they feel the need to reply back?

A no thanks is the end of the communication, pure and simple. Don't get hung up on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some on here are over sensative"

And me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive had people block me i've never even messaged lol

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

PS NOT everyone is a lowlife, but it does seem to attract its fair share

Manners costs nothing and this country needs to start teaching it

again"

Okay ..ground hog day ... we reply thanks but no thanks and then as a rule we block.. as we dont save emails so forget whats said and nearly always get repeat messages and pleads from samem guys over and over.. so saves all the hassel.. also notice guys will leave it for a bit change profile accordig to why

you said no and try again.. we make notes on all so we know what profile said first round of messages... So agree with blocking.

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

"I agree with NN, why reply only to end up in an argument, we're not being rude at all, just less tollerant to people who don't read your profile, why list your likes/dislikes if they don't read your profile, we all start off with good intentions but over time the rude people do get to you and you become hardened to your requirements. Is that our fault? I think not. I have very strong opinions about bi guys so rather thamn offend I ask them not to contact me, it doesn't stop them so who is being rude? "

completely agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some on here are over sensative"

And offensive, don't affect me but does lots of others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive had people block me i've never even messaged lol"

Ha ha ha me to

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"ive had people block me i've never even messaged lol

Ha ha ha me to "

I've had people on my friends list and who I've been verified by block me. No idea why.

(sh)It happens.

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By *aybe_amyWoman
over a year ago

Wales

Maybe some people get messages from people that they've already made their minds up on from the forums. So if I was messaged by someone I'd previously seen airing _iews in the forums that I found offensive, eg racist or ummm I dunno, just picking a subject at random unrelated to the OP, TV bashing, then I'd have no hesitation in being 'rude' and deleting the message without replying.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am so feeling the pain of the people who don't get replies.

there you go, I felt the pain.

I'm over it

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Blocking isn't done to offend or because people are upset/annoyed. It's simply a tool of the site which ensures that people who you have no interest in do not show up on further searches and you do not show up on theirs.

Yes people do use it when someone has crossed a line. But that is not it's only role.

So if someone has said no thanks them blocking you is just the full stop at the end of that sentence.

And it's perfectly reasonable for someone to go through a search and block every one who doesn't tickle their fancy.

Don't take it so personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe some people get messages from people that they've already made their minds up on from the forums. So if I was messaged by someone I'd previously seen airing _iews in the forums that I found offensive, eg racist or ummm I dunno, just picking a subject at random unrelated to the OP, TV bashing, then I'd have no hesitation in being 'rude' and deleting the message without replying. "

i would just block them, because there not my type of people.

some people are just too stupid to know when they have done something wrong.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I've said it before, I've only had one semi-abusive response to an email and that wasn't even a no thanks! I gave a guy a 2nd chance cos I liked the look of his pictures (shallow, moi???) and messaged him back saying something like "show me you've read my profile and we'll see where we go from there" only to receive back "I'm not gonna read War and Peace to get a shag"...

I filter the majority of the numpties by asking for a joke in the first message - no joke = instantablock, joke but don't appeal to me = thanks but no thanks...only follow up messages are then the thanks for replying ones which I read and delete - end of convo...

I also use the private notes feature when I've sent a no thanks so I know if they try again - I also use that for the odd forum numpty who may have got on my tits for the wrong reason, so if ever they're looking to, oh I dunno, visit Cumbria and open a club for example...if I come up on their search radar and get a message off them, I'll be able to respond accordingly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've said it before, I've only had one semi-abusive response to an email and that wasn't even a no thanks! I gave a guy a 2nd chance cos I liked the look of his pictures (shallow, moi???) and messaged him back saying something like "show me you've read my profile and we'll see where we go from there" only to receive back "I'm not gonna read War and Peace to get a shag"...

I think I wet meself at the last paragraph!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's ridiculous amounts of rudeness on here. Above the average amount of rudeness in a normal world.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I think I wet meself at the last paragraph!

I sniggered!

Till I realised she meant me...

I'd say something here but I'd only get a spanked bum cos you're not to use the forums to get around a block...

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By *arry_UkMan
over a year ago

birmingham/

I think it's not just swingers ... The modern world is rude

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I am so feeling the pain of the people who don't get replies.

there you go, I felt the pain.

I'm over it"

that made me laugh... I am a bad man but what the heck...

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

"I think it's not just swingers ... The modern world is rude

did someone say something ??

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I think I wet meself at the last paragraph!

I sniggered!

Till I realised she meant me...

I'd say something here but I'd only get a spanked bum cos you're not to use the forums to get around a block...

TD, you'd always be welcome in Arse End my darling...I'll spank you if you insist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair it doesnt matter whether its the first thread or 59th thread, not everyone sits atatched to the the keyboard all day. Ignore the guys who say "heard it all before" and just read the more positive threads - good luck!

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By *rank_SimoneCouple
over a year ago

Bideford

Suppose it all depends on how many mails they get. If they get many its obviously difficult to reply to all.

So no reply means they are not interested, and besides sometimes when you say thanks but no thanks you get a nasty mail back.

We don't get many mails so we always try and reply, but if its obvious they haven't read our profile then we might ignore them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive noticed a trend of when contacting couples, they norm lately is not a polite "thanks but no thanks", but a short curt badly spelt rude reply"

I find it highly 'interesting' to hear about those who judge an initial contact attempt from someone in terms of their syntax and semantics, insisting on a word perfect message for which anything less is a 'fail'. Yet when care and effort has been taken by someone initiating a contact by message to have this blurted, hacked-together reply someone has obviously bashed together which reflects on the care and consideration given by one person towards another.

It would then seem that the sauce for the goose is not neccessarily that self-same jus as the gander enjoys. This lends gravitas to the idea that some people latch onto any excuse however implausible as a meet avoidance strategy.

Wolf

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Most single guys on here are losers in the real world because let's face it, pussy is everywhere out there so why do they have to come here to get laid?! When I was a single guy I wouldn't even remotely consider coming on here and be rejected over and over again plus at any one time I had at least 8 fitties on the go...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah... The other "no reply" thread was more fun. Think I will block the OP for being repetitive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

where everyone is faceless they are also treat others with contempt.

what the internet brings im afraid.

just remember that once couples were singles too so you'll be fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah... The other "no reply" thread was more fun. Think I will block the OP for being repetitive.

Well I'm bored, I could liven it up if you like? The OP absolutely loves me and we have this Ross/Rachel thing going on.

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

"Nah... The other "no reply" thread was more fun. Think I will block the OP for being repetitive.

Well I'm bored, I could liven it up if you like? The OP absolutely loves me and we have this Ross/Rachel thing going on. "

Jodie you'll have wait til we get the popcorn again, then it'll be fun.. undefeated so far !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am so feeling the pain of the people who don't get replies.

there you go, I felt the pain.

I'm over it"

I think I'm feeling it too ... oh no, it was just wind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree 100% - there is no excuse for rudeness - if we are not interested, we always reply with a polite "no thanks" - some couples never even reply, (I am aware I am not bi enough for a lot of couples, but they could reply and tell me this!!) which I also think is rude!!

Manners cost nothing - if you are not interested (everyone's tastes are different!!) - say so politely!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see that there is any obligation to reply to messages let alone be polite etc. I don't see why people moan about it, clearly you weren't their cup of tea and no amount of threads about how rude they are will change that, focus your energy on the next couple etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As we said on the previous thread - it depends how many messages you get , the time you get them and the nature of the message .

Some days , most may be replied to and others none - depending on how busy one is or on ones mood .

Remember that unless one has advertised a meet most messages are random and unsolicited so can anyone explain why we should drop everything to answer a question from a stranger ?

On the other hand , if we have put out for a meet on our status or meets and events we would answer any messages we find interesting - and ignore those we don't .

If one person in a pub / club on a Saturday night kept being asked by random strangers if they fancied a shag you can bet your life they would get fed up !!!

It's the same on here - the option to not reply and block is there for this who get fed up of pestering !

So whether your message is well written and polite or not - the recipient may just not be in the mood or be fed up of loads of messages - don't get upset by it , it's just life

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I cry myself to sleep each night when I see my messages being deleted one at a time...

I'm not sure I can carry on anymore... you... you all go ahead without me... it's better this way... ... ...

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

"I agree 100% - there is no excuse for rudeness - if we are not interested, we always reply with a polite "no thanks" - some couples never even reply, (I am aware I am not bi enough for a lot of couples, but they could reply and tell me this!!) which I also think is rude!!

Manners cost nothing - if you are not interested (everyone's tastes are different!!) - say so politely!!"

Okay this is all well and good, but for example we got messaged yesterday with very short message.. anyway went on and on sounded odd so yes turned out he was attached.. and despite us saying no thanks, he kept coming back and wanting pics and for us to tell him what we got up to as he wanted a wank !! and would not take no for an answer we were very polite but kept saying sorry we are here to meet not provide material for you to wank over.. we will not meet you as no veris and attached going behind his partners back (he admitted that) .. and still he kept pushing for pics etc.. so in the end the politeness went out the window and okay not the norm.. but he wasn't getting the message.. so we replied with a very blunt to the point message.. he really seemed to think that we were here for his benefit and that really annoyed me.. if he had left it after the first even second no thanks it would not have happened.. was he respectful and polite.. NO.. did he deserve a polite response.. NO we don't think he did at that point... we had done plenty of polite messages and he wasnt listening.. sometimes some people don't get the message anyother way after from blunt to the point.. is it a regular way of responding NO but sometimes you have to get the message across.. and then blocked him.. could have just blocked him but why should we put up with what he was saying and leave it and not reply.. he was making out that we were the ones being difficult because he wanted a meet and couldn't get one so the least we should do is send him face and body pics and tell him stories of what we to so he can wank.. plenty of sites for that .. thats not what we do.. Sadly its the people (not all we know) using site that sometimes force people to bite.. just somtimes you get pushed too far..

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By *elrose57Couple
over a year ago

reading

we always message people who take the time to make contact with us, i would like to think it is polite, and right thing to do, i would like to point out, its not just swingers, it is people in every day life, we now live in an electronic age, the art of talking is going out the window and so is manners,you only have to look around you to see every young person on a mobil phone texting tweeting some crap about there life , we will carry on the way we are, and still message people back, evan the ones that dont read your profile, there are so many of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have blocked him too - people also need to accept that "no" means "no" - pestering is also rude and won't get you anywhere!!

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

"I would have blocked him too - people also need to accept that "no" means "no" - pestering is also rude and won't get you anywhere!!"

Thats the main trouble really.. we nearly fainted had one in the last week that when we messaged thanks but no thanks.. one guy came back and said no worries thanks anyway have fun... well we were stunned.. felt like printing it and framing it tbh !!!

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By *elrose57Couple
over a year ago

reading

we usaly get after we message guys to say thanks but no thanks, they come back to us with, well if you change your mind you know where i am,i just wish we got a pound coin everytime

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I would have blocked him too - people also need to accept that "no" means "no" - pestering is also rude and won't get you anywhere!!

We get a lot more guys who say "no problem, have fun" than say things like "why not" or "you don't know what you're missing". We find more polite single men than rude ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most single guys on here are losers in the real world because let's face it, pussy is everywhere out there so why do they have to come here to get laid?! When I was a single guy I wouldn't even remotely consider coming on here and be rejected over and over again plus at any one time I had at least 8 fitties on the go...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are modern swingers rude ?

I can't give a conclusive answer, but can say that very few have been rude to me

That said, I haven't really given them any cause to be

Have you ?

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

"I would have blocked him too - people also need to accept that "no" means "no" - pestering is also rude and won't get you anywhere!!

We get a lot more guys who say "no problem, have fun" than say things like "why not" or "you don't know what you're missing". We find more polite single men than rude ones."

Maybe its a welsh thing !! we live here but are not welsh.. but the main here seems to be youngsters needing shag now and because they are clearly gods gift to women they can't understand why you would not be falling over trying to get your knickers off so quick for them.. and are so stunned at the fact you say no thanks.. that they just have to keep checking to make sure you didn't mistype the reply.. as you must have meant yes please how soon ..

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By *uchmoor69Man
over a year ago

atherstone

The biggest trouble ,there is loads more men than women who will frequent the chat site and after reading lots complaints from women saying "no i have no interest in you", that should be the end of it. It should not turn into a battle, calling her names or making her feel she should leave or change her chatroom name/id just because she just want to chat to her friends. Unfortunately the men who do get ignored are usually the decent ones like me and maybe the men gentleman above! Thou i don't like it, that's what it has become, there is arseholes everywhere on here and its like walking through a minefield.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Not everyone does'nt reply

The same as not everyone reads a profile properly before sending a message

Manners works both ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We dont reply to all messages not because we rude, just cant bother to reply if our profile is not read correctly. A message saying "hi, to you both" or hi you two how are you" will usually get a reply of "we are well thank you" maybe leading to" sorry not free today but keep in touch". messages saying "hi, like your bum/pussy, want to meet, doesnt get a reply...I hubby who is checking messages appreciates the compliment about my bum from a guy but not a ctriteria for a meeet, if profile is read correctly. as for my pussy well i have to check make sure something hasnt dropped off. So in a nutshell if someone has taken the time to acknowledge that we are a couple and we both involved then we if not busy will reply.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

We get a lot more guys who say "no problem, have fun" than say things like "why not" or "you don't know what you're missing". We find more polite single men than rude ones."

Me too, I'm feeling a bit left out now, can someone send me an abusive message please so I've something to rant about seeing as it's Thursday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get a lot more guys who say "no problem, have fun" than say things like "why not" or "you don't know what you're missing". We find more polite single men than rude ones.

Me too, I'm feeling a bit left out now, can someone send me an abusive message please so I've something to rant about seeing as it's Thursday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me too, I'm feeling a bit left out now, can someone send me an abusive message please so I've something to rant about seeing as it's Thursday

OK, if we must

but you have to send us a polite "f-off not interested" message first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

know how you feel hun couples are so rude we have had a few of them we send a email say about a party all they do is just read email or block what the hell is that all about? some couples are to much up there own ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have 2 block im afraid mate. Some peeps just dont take no for an answer so the block button does the trick. Sorry if that hurts.

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