FabSwingers.com forum: Most delusional status you've seen

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Most delusional status you've seen during your time on Fab.

Some are so hilarious we're not sure if they're being serious or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are plenty of profiles on here that are just a long list of "Don't wants", they are really annoying, I just skip past them tbh.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've seen some from people claiming to be strong and supportive but in reality are divisive and a complete trainwreck.

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By *he Wrangler and BelleCouple
over a year ago

Bishops Strortford

Usually its "Wants to meet for sex now". Some women I am sure do, most men I am sure don't.

You might see "Thank you for last night, you know who you are" but no new verification, which always makes me wonder.

D x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen a status that just said.....need a woman for a blowjob now. Here's my number...no questions asked

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

It's usually the new accounts set up by single guys who clearly have no idea about swinging or the lifestyle. No photos. No bio. Yet they expect immediate success. It's sad when people think this site is tinder. It's not. It's a site for swingers.

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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago

Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun

"Why are women so fussy here? We're all here for the same thing" posted by a fairly new generic profile with simply a cock picture.

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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago

Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun

"It's usually the new accounts set up by single guys who clearly have no idea about swinging or the lifestyle. No photos. No bio. Yet they expect immediate success. It's sad when people think this site is tinder. It's not. It's a site for swingers."

They hear that this place is about sex, so they just assume it'll be much easier than tinder as they don't even have to fake a conversation first.

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By *urvybeckiWoman
over a year ago

Enfield

Usually it's single guys demanding a meet no questions.....how supposed to know where they are if can't ask???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people think this is fb with their status’s like what they done today or people looking for a tradesman on here

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

There's a bloke on my updates keeps posting how desperate he is for sex and how anyone will do.

I don't know why he thinks anyone would be tempted by that .

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"Honest guy, looking for discreet meet as married"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually ones that moan they don’t get a reply or haven’t had a meet. When I look at their profile, they perhaps joined within last 2wks!!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Usually ones that moan they don’t get a reply or haven’t had a meet. When I look at their profile, they perhaps joined within last 2wks!!

And usually have no profile text and no pics !or just cocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw

ride my kok until your pussy cums and pisses all over my kok and balls

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

I love seeing a ranty status, saw one the other day naming someone because he had turned up for a meet and hadn't bought the pizza and packet of cigs she'd asked him to bring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love seeing a ranty status, saw one the other day naming someone because he had turned up for a meet and hadn't bought the pizza and packet of cigs she'd asked him to bring

I think every meet should turn up with pizza!

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

[Removed by poster at 31/07/22 17:22:19]

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"I love seeing a ranty status, saw one the other day naming someone because he had turned up for a meet and hadn't bought the pizza and packet of cigs she'd asked him to bring

I think every meet should turn up with pizza!"

not sure what she was more annoyed about tbh, not getting the pizza or the cigs!

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By *elpful and caringMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

Mine it totally outrageous and completely unbelievable.

No wonder no one messages me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/22 17:27:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exceptional males only

Single men - we'll find you

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

What makes me laugh is when they have a status up that’s says something like ‘feeling really randy will empty my balls into anything with a hole’

Then you get a message from them saying how sexy you are. Absolutely no interest on their profile towards TV/TS and they’re straight.

Sorry mate I’m not that hole you’re looking for

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By *klifeCouple
over a year ago

reading

When they put … “anyone free now”

Every single night of the week …

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

It’s the blokes who look like Mr. Gove who write ‘I’m a Sex God waiting for a Sex Goddess to beg for my dick!’

Palm to forehead and roll head side to side in disbelief!

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

"There's a bloke on my updates keeps posting how desperate he is for sex and how anyone will do.

I don't know why he thinks anyone would be tempted by that ."

Sounds to me like an advert for a diary kept free for his female equivalent to venture forth and nab him lol!

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Usually its "Wants to meet for sex now". Some women I am sure do, most men I am sure don't.

You might see "Thank you for last night, you know who you are" but no new verification, which always makes me wonder.

D x"

Not everyone gives them or asks for them

They may have met a few times before and dont verify every time

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"It’s the blokes who look like Mr. Gove who write ‘I’m a Sex God waiting for a Sex Goddess to beg for my dick!’

Palm to forehead and roll head side to side in disbelief!

I saw a man's profile bio the other day, it said he was exceptional and extremely good looking, looking for an exceptional woman, guarantee any woman would want to meet him again, but unlikely he would want to meet again as he has very high standards and no woman has ever lived up to them! Been on here over a year one close up dick pic, and has had no meets, baffling!

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

Those random update statuses that you are some how supposed to understand, but with no context.

Along the lines of "You knew what would happen."

I mean, if they want to send someone a message, then send them a message, don't leave it hanging out there in the ether.

Gbat

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By * o yWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I love seeing a ranty status, saw one the other day naming someone because he had turned up for a meet and hadn't bought the pizza and packet of cigs she'd asked him to bring

Pure Class. Lol

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

There's a lot...

People treating it like Facebook... its the most cringe think I see on here usually.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I've seen a status that just said.....need a woman for a blowjob now. Here's my number...no questions asked"

You weren't supposed to share our PM's

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"I love seeing a ranty status, saw one the other day naming someone because he had turned up for a meet and hadn't bought the pizza and packet of cigs she'd asked him to bring

I think every meet should turn up with pizza!

not sure what she was more annoyed about tbh, not getting the pizza or the cigs!"

I wonder if she also annoyed, with check out, queue or self service

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By *ylvieMWoman
over a year ago

Aylesbury

All the "im horny, any women about?" Type ones.

My personal fave was "in a layby on the A41, will be here for 30 mins, come meet me"

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

"Ladies - form a queue"

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By *edplusoneCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

One that say something like “Amaze us” or “Impress us”.

Piss off lol

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Announcements that they are leaving but never do

was this for a leaving party

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By *assagejMan
over a year ago

Bude

Classy professional couple =‘skip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Younus has a good one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the profiles that insist you read the whole profile to find a special word to put in the message header

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By *isiek 777Man
over a year ago

Telford

This thread is a pure gold mine!

Need to save some of those, hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Younus has a good one lol"

Had to have a look….

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Don’t really see the point in the status thing? Does many people actually read them?

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By *ittlekinks38Woman
over a year ago

outside belfast x

The usual "anyone free now" or "really need fun" or "I need a bj any takers" the absolute desperation of people isn't a good look I don't think ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Younus has a good one lol

Had to have a look….

Fab gold right there lol

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By *hilledGuyClactonMan
over a year ago

Little clacton

Meet now (at 3 in the morning)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On an hour ago

"want a nice shaved pussy to lick and pound??“

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know who you are

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Saw the other day from a young single guy something like :

I'm available tonight for one of you lucky ladies. Haven't licked pussy for ages really up for it, so who will it be.

Soo funny.. Surprised he didn't add, "1st cum 1st served"

Either delusional or comical???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you know, you know

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Years ago, I saw someone post something like "wife is taking me back soon, get it while I'm still here"

Multiple times a day for at least six weeks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Years ago, I saw someone post something like "wife is taking me back soon, get it while I'm still here"

Multiple times a day for at least six weeks "

Hilarious and weird at the same time

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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago

Sent to Coventry

Hangover horn. Need it sucking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most delusional status you've seen during your time on Fab.

Some are so hilarious we're not sure if they're being serious or not

Woman in Doncaster used to type at around 5.40 am some mornings something along lines of: "Need a good fuck before I go to work. My bus is at 6.10. Anyone free?"

Saw a 19 yr old girl from Newcastle (allegedly as the profile said anyway) post: "Get a full month of fucking me if you buy me a car"

I think fab deleted her LOL

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Hangover horn. Need it sucking

Hey, thats not delusional. Theres always a chance

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By *im4play4uMan
over a year ago

Hemel Hempstead

Bored!....

Do people think a hot wife is going to say " god i want to ride a bored man so much tonight!" ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hangover horn. Need it sucking

Hey, thats not delusional. Theres always a chance

Hahaha haha good luck with that a pick up line Teehee

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By *lcoupleneCouple
over a year ago

morpeth

[Removed by poster at 31/07/22 20:27:41]

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By *lcoupleneCouple
over a year ago

morpeth

“We’ve split only male half here now”

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Hangover horn. Need it sucking

Hey, thats not delusional. Theres always a chance

Hahaha haha good luck with that a pick up line Teehee

Do i have to be hungover?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"“We’ve split only male half here now”

Ohyeah

thats a regular one isn't it.

Although, seen that written at the start of a few mfcouple profiles in the detail blurb, which actually seemed quite an honest approach. To get it out there sooner than later. But then that is if they've recently split & cld get back together. If it turns out he's been single for a while then that's basically having a couple profile deceitfully.

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By *ylvieMWoman
over a year ago

Aylesbury

[Removed by poster at 31/07/22 20:39:56]

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London

"There are plenty of profiles on here that are just a long list of "Don't wants", they are really annoying, I just skip past them tbh."

Yes too many “don’t wants” but nothing about what they really want

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By *ylvieMWoman
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"Younus has a good one lol"

Candy Balls always entertains also

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

Certainly in my local area there's too many to choose from.

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

"Most delusional status you've seen during your time on Fab.

Some are so hilarious we're not sure if they're being serious or not

Woman in Doncaster used to type at around 5.40 am some mornings something along lines of: "Need a good fuck before I go to work. My bus is at 6.10. Anyone free?"

Saw a 19 yr old girl from Newcastle (allegedly as the profile said anyway) post: "Get a full month of fucking me if you buy me a car"

I think fab deleted her LOL "

Question is: what sort of car was she worth? If she was hot I might have bought her a Ferrari - one of those little radio controlled models - amd claimed my prize!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Deleting my profile tonight”

No, you’re not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yup that's another regular..

They write 'I'm deleting my account (sometimes a mini rant)' then forget to clear the status. You then see that 12 or 24 hours later, they're still active.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

[Removed by poster at 31/07/22 22:43:57]

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

People with a wish list a Mike Long and totally unrealistic set of demands

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By *ndyn50000Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

On an hour ago

"want a nice shaved pussy to lick and pound??“

KJ"

My Sphynx cat has just seen this and run out the door....

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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

Can't accommodate

Won't travel

Don't do clubs

Uh? So how exactly do you expect to meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are plenty of profiles on here that are just a long list of "Don't wants", they are really annoying, I just skip past them tbh."

God I can't stand them

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Can't accommodate

Won't travel

Don't do clubs

Uh? So how exactly do you expect to meet? "

Car meet, within 500m of home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And new member for 24 hours lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones that say : I have hundreds of messages and cannot read them all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delusional I'm not sure but terrible when a guy goes on about some negative messages he's received or a rejection and he gets really aggressive about it on his status. Red flag.

Also, people who think it's facebook but then don't want to discuss it. One guy I was talking to put an update about a special girl on fab. When I asked about it, he said that he wanted to be discreet about it and not talk about it! Maybe don't mention it publicly next time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love seeing a ranty status, saw one the other day naming someone because he had turned up for a meet and hadn't bought the pizza and packet of cigs she'd asked him to bring

I think every meet should turn up with pizza!

not sure what she was more annoyed about tbh, not getting the pizza or the cigs!"

So she was hangry and needed nicotine! Don't anger the beast and then expect sex!!!

Note to myself: ask for food for my next meet and errr I don't smoke anymore... can I ask for shoes instead? Or a handbag? Jewelry?

My meets don't even usually bring condoms! Luckily I do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they emphasize the need for total discretion yet they have dogging as one of their interests.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love seeing a ranty status, saw one the other day naming someone because he had turned up for a meet and hadn't bought the pizza and packet of cigs she'd asked him to bring

OMG! Really??? That's just not on, naming and shaming is a big no-no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m looking for a stud. I’ve got an STD. All I need is U

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just seen this one:

Any word bed hubby's as dry as my wife give me a shout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m looking for a stud. I’ve got an STD. All I need is U"

Haha

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

"There are plenty of profiles on here that are just a long list of "Don't wants", they are really annoying, I just skip past them tbh."

Maybe you don't realise it, but the whole point of that long list is that it means certain types of people will skip past them.

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By *elpful and caringMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

Sounds like a Roy Chubby Brown joke!

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By *3xDECouple
over a year ago

nottingham

The repetitive posters.

“At home glory hole, come get your cock sucked!”

Or the “who’s up for some ff/fff/ffm etc fun now?”

Just stick up a meets post ffs. They wouldn’t need to post it at the time if people were actually interested

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

"I love the profiles that insist you read the whole profile to find a special word to put in the message header "

Ha ha that’s us! Won’t change though

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

And new member for 24 hours lol"

Yes always a new account. The same guy sets up an account leaves after a fortnight and repeats the process indefinitely!

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

For us the most delusional statuses (and profiles and forum posts) are from people (in reality almost always single men) who appear to think they can get sex with almost zero effort and the couple/female should just ignore their own preferences or lower their standards and just be grateful!

Swinging really isn’t rocket science.

Rule 1 No effort = No fun.

Rule 2 Don’t be offended if a person doesn’t fancy you (just “man up”).

Rule 3 It isn’t only about what you want, it also matters what the other person/people want so find out!

Rule 4 Be polite and treat people with respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On couples profile - ‘only male half playing at the moment’

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell

The ones asking if someone will buy them a site supporter's pass...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Although this is on the 'Meets' section (not status)

"Meet at: yours"

And a date.

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By *onewolf444Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I'm done with fab, I'm off"

Still there days and weeks later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn’t agree more !

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Guys that say they're working their way through their messages, will reply when they can... Of course you are lol

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Couples who post on their status that they are looking for a meet now with a single guy who has cocaine.

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell

"Couples who post on their status that they are looking for a meet now with a single guy who has cocaine. "

The other day I saw one offering a fuck in exchange for "snow"...

...."Anyone/Who's got 420?" is quite common...

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