FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Polyamorous relationship

Jump to newest
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me polyamory means they are in relationships that can have multiple partners with consent of all those involved and control or managing techniques for jealousy.

When I was practicing it, it was all agreed by the four of us, who, if anyone would be added. It was almost like an interview and application!! If one of us wasn’t happy then the others would not play with them.

We never did one offs. Basically we were a big family and to be honest only met one or two people outside of it.

Unfortunately people use the word poly now as a way of cheating!!

For me if someone says they are poly or playing with consent I ask to speak to their partner(s), if they can’t do that I assume it’s playing without consent and I won’t do that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon

Makes sense but ive had messages from guys pretending to be a couple. Bloody pain but you have to put up with it. What is sapiosexual while we're at it ?

Can't be bothered to get my dictionary out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Makes sense but ive had messages from guys pretending to be a couple. Bloody pain but you have to put up with it. What is sapiosexual while we're at it ?

Can't be bothered to get my dictionary out."

Somebody who finds intelligence arousing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I'm no expert but I wouldn't think a polyamorous guy would be looking for casual sex.

I think you're right not to trust him as it sounds like b/s to cover his cheating.

K

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm no expert but I wouldn't think a polyamorous guy would be looking for casual sex.

I think you're right not to trust him as it sounds like b/s to cover his cheating.

K

"

Aren’t poly folks allowed to like casual sex?

Plenty of people are in relationships but meet alone, poly relationships are just another type

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure what the issue is. What does poly and swinging have to do with each other? They aren't mutually exclusive.

We are both poly. We are not eachother's only relationship. But we aren't on here looking for new partners, we are on here to make friends and swing. Eros also has a single profile because he's a swinger too.

Pxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this. "

It means that they’re open to the potential for multiple relationships, not that they’re necessarily within them at this current moment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ameskathCouple
over a year ago

london

love to chat with any couples in a poly relationship--something we have discussed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obbiKentMan
over a year ago

maidstone


"Makes sense but ive had messages from guys pretending to be a couple. Bloody pain but you have to put up with it. What is sapiosexual while we're at it ?

Can't be bothered to get my dictionary out.

Somebody who finds intelligence arousing "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obbiKentMan
over a year ago

maidstone


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this.

It means that they’re open to the potential for multiple relationships, not that they’re necessarily within them at this current moment.

"

think it means they are committed to multiple partners, with or without the sex

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a number of poly relationships when I was a student. We shared one another in a very loving and caring way.

It’s not without its complexities emotionally but lovely if your not too possessive or jealous.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d find it confusing too since amory means love. Surely if you’re in a relationship but allowed to fuck others that’s an open relationship.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"Makes sense but ive had messages from guys pretending to be a couple. Bloody pain but you have to put up with it. What is sapiosexual while we're at it ?

Can't be bothered to get my dictionary out.

Somebody who finds intelligence arousing "

And quite a few think that describing themselves as sapiosexual make them intelligent. Actually you can be as thick as pigshit and be sapiosexual.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obbiKentMan
over a year ago

maidstone


"Makes sense but ive had messages from guys pretending to be a couple. Bloody pain but you have to put up with it. What is sapiosexual while we're at it ?

Can't be bothered to get my dictionary out.

Somebody who finds intelligence arousing

And quite a few think that describing themselves as sapiosexual make them intelligent. Actually you can be as thick as pigshit and be sapiosexual."

true, if you have a dictionary

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I can’t help but think that if folks are confused or curious, doing some research would help.

There are lots of different forms of poly relationships and rarely are dynamics the same, just as there are different dynamics in swinging.

I’m in a poly open relationship but mine is different from someone else’s

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"I'm no expert but I wouldn't think a polyamorous guy would be looking for casual sex.

I think you're right not to trust him as it sounds like b/s to cover his cheating.

K

Aren’t poly folks allowed to like casual sex?

Plenty of people are in relationships but meet alone, poly relationships are just another type "

If you're asking me if they're allowed then of course they are - I just thought the amorous part of the description meant something significant.

I'm of the opinion that a relationship that included casual sex with others would be better described as 'open' rather than polyamorous.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I don't think the girlfriend gives them the "right" but more she's okay with it because they have transparency and don't feel uncomfortable.

As far as poly and swinging goes, you can be polyamorous and enjoy casual sex. You could be in a relationship with one man, engaged to another and fucking a few more. If there are feelings for more than one, you're open to the idea than you're poly, even if it's more poly open.

Think of it like a venn diagram.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As other people have said, they arent mutually exclusive.

I like having multiple romantic/meaningful relationships. These are people who I do life with, who I love and negotiate with about our wants and needs.

I also like having casual sex with people - it adds variety to my sex life as I can explore my kinks, group play, and just that casual sex vibe you get when there are no attachments. Its also fun to play with different people sometimes.

So long as partners are aware and comfortable with it, then a poly person can absolutely enjoy casual sex outside their poly relatiomships.

Fay x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I think a lot of people use the term poly when they mean ethical non-monogany

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot of people use the term poly when they mean ethical non-monogany"

Yes, some people.dont know the difference. Even if they are poly, there are so many different kinds of poly that they might be talking about something completely different to you!

A closed triad is very different to solo poly for example.

So its worth asking questioms to find out what "poly" means to them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I think a lot of people use the term poly when they mean ethical non-monogany"

This is very true. I don't want to sound like I'm gatekeeping the poly world but I've noticed it a lot more, recently, on the site. I think poly is trendy right now. Kind of. And so people describe anything as poly.

Even within that there's such a myriad of dynamics. So maybe the men are poly, enjoy casual sex with women and don't want to date everyone they stick their penis in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"I think a lot of people use the term poly when they mean ethical non-monogany"

I would describe myself as polyamorous because I only enjoy sex with women I'm physically and emotionally attracted to. Niki however prefers an emotional connection but also enjoys casual sex, so we would describe our relationship as ENM rather than poly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think the girlfriend gives them the "right" but more she's okay with it because they have transparency and don't feel uncomfortable.

As far as poly and swinging goes, you can be polyamorous and enjoy casual sex. You could be in a relationship with one man, engaged to another and fucking a few more. If there are feelings for more than one, you're open to the idea than you're poly, even if it's more poly open.

Think of it like a venn diagram. "

Your spot on Mell. Well put.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I’d find it confusing too since amory means love. Surely if you’re in a relationship but allowed to fuck others that’s an open relationship. "

That was my query. I knew this guy I fucked saying he fucks multiple women, who some know eachother and hang out with eachother. But to me none of this sounded like a loving relationship. He was just basically fucking anyone he wanted etc and telling women he is a poly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I think a lot of people use the term poly when they mean ethical non-monogany

I would describe myself as polyamorous because I only enjoy sex with women I'm physically and emotionally attracted to. Niki however prefers an emotional connection but also enjoys casual sex, so we would describe our relationship as ENM rather than poly.

"

Im still confused, as ENM by definition sounds more like polyamourous, where you have multiple romantic partners. Surely casual sex isn't exactly romantic? Especially if it's just meeting folks quickly in clubs etc? Like it's ok to be on dating sites looking for hook ups and being in a poly or ENM relationship with 2 people? Like a guy who has two girlfriends and tells them he still wants to be on tinder? I'm so confused with these terms

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I don't think the girlfriend gives them the "right" but more she's okay with it because they have transparency and don't feel uncomfortable.

As far as poly and swinging goes, you can be polyamorous and enjoy casual sex. You could be in a relationship with one man, engaged to another and fucking a few more. If there are feelings for more than one, you're open to the idea than you're poly, even if it's more poly open.

Think of it like a venn diagram. "

Oh so you need to say I am in a open poly relationship if you have two people you're in a loving relationship but want casual?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can’t help but think that if folks are confused or curious, doing some research would help.

There are lots of different forms of poly relationships and rarely are dynamics the same, just as there are different dynamics in swinging.

I’m in a poly open relationship but mine is different from someone else’s"

If everyone has a different version of the terms how can research be possible? It sounds like there is no defined universal explanation.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d find it confusing too since amory means love. Surely if you’re in a relationship but allowed to fuck others that’s an open relationship.

That was my query. I knew this guy I fucked saying he fucks multiple women, who some know eachother and hang out with eachother. But to me none of this sounded like a loving relationship. He was just basically fucking anyone he wanted etc and telling women he is a poly."

Sounds like that would be solo poly.

He is single but fucks around and puts a trendy term on it so the women think it's ok.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot of people use the term poly when they mean ethical non-monogany

I would describe myself as polyamorous because I only enjoy sex with women I'm physically and emotionally attracted to. Niki however prefers an emotional connection but also enjoys casual sex, so we would describe our relationship as ENM rather than poly.

Im still confused, as ENM by definition sounds more like polyamourous, where you have multiple romantic partners. Surely casual sex isn't exactly romantic? Especially if it's just meeting folks quickly in clubs etc? Like it's ok to be on dating sites looking for hook ups and being in a poly or ENM relationship with 2 people? Like a guy who has two girlfriends and tells them he still wants to be on tinder? I'm so confused with these terms "

ENM is an umbrella term that encompasses lots of different things. It includes any form of non-monogamy (having sex with more han one partner) that is ethical (i.e. not lying to, decieving or manipulating anyone). It includes people who have lots of casual partners or one night stands, as well as swingers, people in open relationships, people in closed poly relationships, people who are solo poly and probably other people I havent thought of!! It can be purely sexual, purely romantic, or a combination of the two.

The only people who arent included under ENM are:

People who only have (or seek) one partner (monogamous)

People who are cheating or lying to their partners (not ethical)

People who dont have any sexual partners.

Polyamory is a specific kind of non-monogamy. People who describe themselves as polyamorous generally have (or seek) multiple romantic or otherwise meaningful connections. Poly means "many" and amory means "love". A poly relationship generally consists of more than casual sex.

Someone who has lots of one night stands but doesnt lie about it is ENM but not poly.

Someone who has several romantic connections is poly... they are also ENM!

I hope that clears up the difference between those 2 terms.

Is it ok to be poly and have 2 partners and also be looking for hookups? Yes. So long as partners are aware and comfortable with that, its ok! I describe myself as a poly person who also enjoys casual sex.

If you have bad feelings about someone, its likely they arent doing ENM and/or poly is a healthy way. In which case, avoid!

Fay x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

We’ve been in what would be termed as a closed triad relationship and also experimented with a good few other dynamics that would come under the poly banner.

Living a poly lifestyle means lots of different things to lots of different people.

We do feel like it’s become a bit of a buzz word for everything lately though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *om_Sub69Couple
over a year ago

Derby

Would love a poly relationship. Plenty of room to treble the size of the bed to accommodate x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I don't think the girlfriend gives them the "right" but more she's okay with it because they have transparency and don't feel uncomfortable.

As far as poly and swinging goes, you can be polyamorous and enjoy casual sex. You could be in a relationship with one man, engaged to another and fucking a few more. If there are feelings for more than one, you're open to the idea than you're poly, even if it's more poly open.

Think of it like a venn diagram.

Oh so you need to say I am in a open poly relationship if you have two people you're in a loving relationship but want casual? "

Well you don't need to but if you're in to ethical non-monogamy and polyamory within that, yeah... probably best to tell people. Some people don't want to have sex with those who are actively dating others.

Dynamics are complicated. Even more so nowadays!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I think a lot of people use the term poly when they mean ethical non-monogany

I would describe myself as polyamorous because I only enjoy sex with women I'm physically and emotionally attracted to. Niki however prefers an emotional connection but also enjoys casual sex, so we would describe our relationship as ENM rather than poly.

Im still confused, as ENM by definition sounds more like polyamourous, where you have multiple romantic partners. Surely casual sex isn't exactly romantic? Especially if it's just meeting folks quickly in clubs etc? Like it's ok to be on dating sites looking for hook ups and being in a poly or ENM relationship with 2 people? Like a guy who has two girlfriends and tells them he still wants to be on tinder? I'm so confused with these terms

ENM is an umbrella term that encompasses lots of different things. It includes any form of non-monogamy (having sex with more han one partner) that is ethical (i.e. not lying to, decieving or manipulating anyone). It includes people who have lots of casual partners or one night stands, as well as swingers, people in open relationships, people in closed poly relationships, people who are solo poly and probably other people I havent thought of!! It can be purely sexual, purely romantic, or a combination of the two.

The only people who arent included under ENM are:

People who only have (or seek) one partner (monogamous)

People who are cheating or lying to their partners (not ethical)

People who dont have any sexual partners.

Polyamory is a specific kind of non-monogamy. People who describe themselves as polyamorous generally have (or seek) multiple romantic or otherwise meaningful connections. Poly means "many" and amory means "love". A poly relationship generally consists of more than casual sex.

Someone who has lots of one night stands but doesnt lie about it is ENM but not poly.

Someone who has several romantic connections is poly... they are also ENM!

I hope that clears up the difference between those 2 terms.

Is it ok to be poly and have 2 partners and also be looking for hookups? Yes. So long as partners are aware and comfortable with that, its ok! I describe myself as a poly person who also enjoys casual sex.

If you have bad feelings about someone, its likely they arent doing ENM and/or poly is a healthy way. In which case, avoid!

Fay x

"

Wow got ya...so complicated. Personally it's far too confusing for me. I just stick to swinging couples who have ENM relationship (no idea just there). But basically a couple who consent eachother to go off and have casual sex as long as they return back to eachother as they are in love!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

My ideal relationship is married to a bi guy who enjoys only FMM but that's all we do... I keep dreaming of him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My ideal relationship is married to a bi guy who enjoys only FMM but that's all we do... I keep dreaming of him "

Same

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me polyamory means they are in relationships that can have multiple partners with consent of all those involved and control or managing techniques for jealousy.

When I was practicing it, it was all agreed by the four of us, who, if anyone would be added. It was almost like an interview and application!! If one of us wasn’t happy then the others would not play with them.

We never did one offs. Basically we were a big family and to be honest only met one or two people outside of it.

Unfortunately people use the word poly now as a way of cheating!!

For me if someone says they are poly or playing with consent I ask to speak to their partner(s), if they can’t do that I assume it’s playing without consent and I won’t do that "

Chesty and I are poly. We only have partners that becomes a true poly. We don't do solos at all. It saves drama and hassle and people losing trust in others. Also negates the whole scenario of one person feeling they are getting less than the others. So that's why we only play with all parties involved

Max

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My ideal relationship is married to a bi guy who enjoys only FMM but that's all we do... I keep dreaming of him "

Haha ditto!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I have been fortunate enough to have enjoyed several polly relationships over the years. And each one was a unique dynamic and uniquely special.

The first was with an older cuckold couple. We lived together for over a year and as with most it was a closed relationship.

I had anoyher great polly relationship with a bi girlfriend and we would pick up/date and sometimes just fuck bi guys or girls together.

And I have been a casual 3rd in a few relationships where I was only sleeping with one of the partners...

But what you're describing is more along the lines of ENM than a Polly lifestyle. Not a bad thing.... just different.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

If you watch the Netflix series "How to build a sex room" there is a poly family on there consisting of 7 all connected in one way or another

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Why should they have a couple's profile? Maybe their partner doesn't swing?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ocoTemptationMan
over a year ago

london

As Obi-Wan once said only a Sith deals in absolutes. Just as no two swinging couples have absolute static boundaries neither to people in polyamorous relationship.

Just as some swinging couples can be dishonest with each other, poly people can too.

The common thread however one sees oneself is to stay true to being Ethical (honest and open with all partners) in ones non-monogamy.

To my mind the major distinction between swinging and poly is that partners don't try to impose a blanket ban on ones partner developing a deep bond (potentially transitioning into love) with other partners.

For anyone genuinely curious I highly recommend reading or listening to the audiobook of "The Ethical Slut"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornyedinburghcoupleCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

looking for a female to join our relationship. we have been into full swing and swap looking into polyamourous relationship get in touch xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Why should they have a couple's profile? Maybe their partner doesn't swing?"

Ok if that's the case then be more helpful if they state that in their profile rather than a few messages on. As I want a husband who got consent from his wife to play. So I prefer couple profiles. And yes, I do get these offers on fab.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Why should they have a couple's profile? Maybe their partner doesn't swing?

Ok if that's the case then be more helpful if they state that in their profile rather than a few messages on... And yes, I do get these offers on fab."

Why is their arrangement any of your business?

I'm not sure what your 'And yes' statement is meant to mean.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to explore real Polygamy. Being a sister wife but also being able to be intimate with the wives... Love and respect of the whole thing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this. "

We have a couples profile and both have singles profiles. We meet as a couple and as singles.

Officially we say we are open marriage (I'll come back to poly later) and if any lady spends just a few moments reading the profile and our veri's (which are mostly about our social interactions rather than what we are getting up to and with whom), they would see it's all above board.

We both like to meet ladies and couples together but due to how our private lives are with work and what we both enjoy, single meets work well for us both as well..with the right person or persons. For example, if I'm off the scene with work for 3 months should my wife stay at home or should she go out and have a good time with a girlfriend? S

At the end of the day, our single accounts reference our couples account anyway but it really boils down to this. We have obligations where we cant always be together. Some individuals wont meet couples but meet singles. Maybe I'll be interested in meeting certain people but my wife isn't or vice versa. Maybe someone has a spesific kink I'm into but my wife isn't?

Or it's just my wife wanting to indulge her cuckquean kink which is very much a big thing for her. There's a lot.

Now I totally get your confusion. A lot of people are confused about it. But spend any time at a swingers social event talking with people and you'll find all sorts of different dynamics going on for different people. For us it's no different than any other couples or individuals "thing". We're all different and that's the joy of it. People either take us as we are or they don't.

But with Fab and the endless parade of people making claims that are not true about their personal situations, the time wasters and the fakes, certain things will always raise suspicion with certain people. More than once I've been accused of being a cheat or not being honest about things but so what? It used to annoy me but these days whats the point? I'm not going to change the mind of a random internet stranger who doesn't know me, my wife or the life we enjoy. thats not a pop at you either. Just a general statement. People either take the time to know us or they dont. We've met multiple fab users and fab forum users over the years and for those who took me at face value, they know it's all true. Thats all that matters.

But going back to the Polyamorous thing. Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. We're not poly but we are not against it either. Personally, we've discussed it and if the right woman came along, sure, we would be all for it, be it a lady who was into us both or just one of us. It's never happened, we are not actively looking for it and we don't expect it to happen either but we just acknowledged long ago that it could happen, especially with the lifestyle we have .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amasoporkyCouple
over a year ago

midlands

It’s something we would love to chat about and maybe explore

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Why should they have a couple's profile? Maybe their partner doesn't swing?

Ok if that's the case then be more helpful if they state that in their profile rather than a few messages on... And yes, I do get these offers on fab.

Why is their arrangement any of your business?

I'm not sure what your 'And yes' statement is meant to mean. "

No idea why you being so defensive either. Lol happy fabbing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Polyamorous relationships can be open or closed. So until April, I had two partners so my relationships were polyamorous but we were also open so me and both my partners could have casual sex with others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this.

We have a couples profile and both have singles profiles. We meet as a couple and as singles.

Officially we say we are open marriage (I'll come back to poly later) and if any lady spends just a few moments reading the profile and our veri's (which are mostly about our social interactions rather than what we are getting up to and with whom), they would see it's all above board.

We both like to meet ladies and couples together but due to how our private lives are with work and what we both enjoy, single meets work well for us both as well..with the right person or persons. For example, if I'm off the scene with work for 3 months should my wife stay at home or should she go out and have a good time with a girlfriend? S

At the end of the day, our single accounts reference our couples account anyway but it really boils down to this. We have obligations where we cant always be together. Some individuals wont meet couples but meet singles. Maybe I'll be interested in meeting certain people but my wife isn't or vice versa. Maybe someone has a spesific kink I'm into but my wife isn't?

Or it's just my wife wanting to indulge her cuckquean kink which is very much a big thing for her. There's a lot.

Now I totally get your confusion. A lot of people are confused about it. But spend any time at a swingers social event talking with people and you'll find all sorts of different dynamics going on for different people. For us it's no different than any other couples or individuals "thing". We're all different and that's the joy of it. People either take us as we are or they don't.

But with Fab and the endless parade of people making claims that are not true about their personal situations, the time wasters and the fakes, certain things will always raise suspicion with certain people. More than once I've been accused of being a cheat or not being honest about things but so what? It used to annoy me but these days whats the point? I'm not going to change the mind of a random internet stranger who doesn't know me, my wife or the life we enjoy. thats not a pop at you either. Just a general statement. People either take the time to know us or they dont. We've met multiple fab users and fab forum users over the years and for those who took me at face value, they know it's all true. Thats all that matters.

But going back to the Polyamorous thing. Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. We're not poly but we are not against it either. Personally, we've discussed it and if the right woman came along, sure, we would be all for it, be it a lady who was into us both or just one of us. It's never happened, we are not actively looking for it and we don't expect it to happen either but we just acknowledged long ago that it could happen, especially with the lifestyle we have .

"

I think I got it now that. There's all sorts of versions of poly...no actually still haven't got it. I think EMN is easier to understand than poly. Too many variations blow my mind tbh.

Ok so if a married or very committed couple asked if I want to just have sex with the male part of the couple. Would they call their relationship an "open relationship"? So a poly couple who have multiple romantic lovers as well as one night stands is called "open poly couple/group"?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this.

We have a couples profile and both have singles profiles. We meet as a couple and as singles.

Officially we say we are open marriage (I'll come back to poly later) and if any lady spends just a few moments reading the profile and our veri's (which are mostly about our social interactions rather than what we are getting up to and with whom), they would see it's all above board.

We both like to meet ladies and couples together but due to how our private lives are with work and what we both enjoy, single meets work well for us both as well..with the right person or persons. For example, if I'm off the scene with work for 3 months should my wife stay at home or should she go out and have a good time with a girlfriend? S

At the end of the day, our single accounts reference our couples account anyway but it really boils down to this. We have obligations where we cant always be together. Some individuals wont meet couples but meet singles. Maybe I'll be interested in meeting certain people but my wife isn't or vice versa. Maybe someone has a spesific kink I'm into but my wife isn't?

Or it's just my wife wanting to indulge her cuckquean kink which is very much a big thing for her. There's a lot.

Now I totally get your confusion. A lot of people are confused about it. But spend any time at a swingers social event talking with people and you'll find all sorts of different dynamics going on for different people. For us it's no different than any other couples or individuals "thing". We're all different and that's the joy of it. People either take us as we are or they don't.

But with Fab and the endless parade of people making claims that are not true about their personal situations, the time wasters and the fakes, certain things will always raise suspicion with certain people. More than once I've been accused of being a cheat or not being honest about things but so what? It used to annoy me but these days whats the point? I'm not going to change the mind of a random internet stranger who doesn't know me, my wife or the life we enjoy. thats not a pop at you either. Just a general statement. People either take the time to know us or they dont. We've met multiple fab users and fab forum users over the years and for those who took me at face value, they know it's all true. Thats all that matters.

But going back to the Polyamorous thing. Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. We're not poly but we are not against it either. Personally, we've discussed it and if the right woman came along, sure, we would be all for it, be it a lady who was into us both or just one of us. It's never happened, we are not actively looking for it and we don't expect it to happen either but we just acknowledged long ago that it could happen, especially with the lifestyle we have .

I think I got it now that. There's all sorts of versions of poly...no actually still haven't got it. I think EMN is easier to understand than poly. Too many variations blow my mind tbh.

Ok so if a married or very committed couple asked if I want to just have sex with the male part of the couple. Would they call their relationship an "open relationship"? So a poly couple who have multiple romantic lovers as well as one night stands is called "open poly couple/group"?"

ENM is a good catch all. As long as all parties are aware (like in our case and whomever we meet) is aware, it's all good.

And yes, I suppose a married couple would call that an open relationship. We would anyway. When it's just sex and socially based then for us that defines open marriage. It's only when romantic, commitment or relationship elements come into play that it's poly in our eyes. Such as always seeing that person on a regular basis, having dates as well as sex etc. More than swinging in effect.

But then there's the possibility that having an open marriage can lead to a polyamorous relationship...or not. Depends who you speak to.

Unfortunately, from what we can ascertain there is no one catch all definition or arrangement that covers each relationship dynamic specifically. What one person sees as polyamorous another might just see as open marriage.

In the grand scheme of it all, I just know where we are after 25 years of an open marriage and all I can say is, we like where we are on the spectrum and we are open to new things....but we get that some people are confused by it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ocoTemptationMan
over a year ago

london

I don't blame you for being confused. The termology and variety of options can hurt your head when you first get into it. It certainly did with me lol.

In my case I've had a single male profile on here for the best part of two decades and when I've got into relationships with people I have created couples profiles but wouldn't dream of deleting or hiding my original profile. However for those who read profiles I do make it clear when I'm also in a relationship.

Another reason why poly people may have a single profile is that with their approach to polyamory their primary partner may be themself as opposed to someone else. So from that person's perspective if they were to have a couples profile they might have a concern that it is misleading and create a sense of hierarchy above all others in the mind of the other partner and from the self primary partner's perspective its the last thing that they would want.

Plus things could get confusing really quickly if they create a couples profile with all the partners they are very close to or have fallen in love with.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I don't blame you for being confused. The termology and variety of options can hurt your head when you first get into it. It certainly did with me lol.

In my case I've had a single male profile on here for the best part of two decades and when I've got into relationships with people I have created couples profiles but wouldn't dream of deleting or hiding my original profile. However for those who read profiles I do make it clear when I'm also in a relationship.

Another reason why poly people may have a single profile is that with their approach to polyamory their primary partner may be themself as opposed to someone else. So from that person's perspective if they were to have a couples profile they might have a concern that it is misleading and create a sense of hierarchy above all others in the mind of the other partner and from the self primary partner's perspective its the last thing that they would want.

Plus things could get confusing really quickly if they create a couples profile with all the partners they are very close to or have fallen in love with.

"

So if the poly person's partner opposes it then would they be a cheating poly on here? That's what I didn't sign up for, to be part of cheating so for me clarity is paramount.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"love to chat with any couples in a poly relationship--something we have discussed "

I have an open relationship with my partner of 13 years. While currently only open, we have both had separate partners within this time and had a mutual partner. Feel free to DM and ask any questions you may have.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ocoTemptationMan
over a year ago

london


"I don't blame you for being confused. The termology and variety of options can hurt your head when you first get into it. It certainly did with me lol.

In my case I've had a single male profile on here for the best part of two decades and when I've got into relationships with people I have created couples profiles but wouldn't dream of deleting or hiding my original profile. However for those who read profiles I do make it clear when I'm also in a relationship.

Another reason why poly people may have a single profile is that with their approach to polyamory their primary partner may be themself as opposed to someone else. So from that person's perspective if they were to have a couples profile they might have a concern that it is misleading and create a sense of hierarchy above all others in the mind of the other partner and from the self primary partner's perspective its the last thing that they would want.

Plus things could get confusing really quickly if they create a couples profile with all the partners they are very close to or have fallen in love with.

So if the poly person's partner opposes it then would they be a cheating poly on here? That's what I didn't sign up for, to be part of cheating so for me clarity is paramount."

I think wires are being crossed. If you're an ENM poly/swinger there is no cheating. Its all about open communication. No two people on this planet ever have 100% matching desires. To me the goal is to find someone with enough overlap to have a relationship with. If there is enough overlap awesome. If there isn't enough overlap and making a go of it would be too much work the open communication saves you from bringing unnecessary pain/hurt into each others lives.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I’d find it confusing too since amory means love. Surely if you’re in a relationship but allowed to fuck others that’s an open relationship. "

That’s right not all poly people have open relationships. And not all poly people are deni sexual either ! For me poly is the desire and practice to have intimate feelings for multiple women. So it’s not a full definition of who you are, just one aspect

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"

So if the poly person's partner opposes it then would they be a cheating poly on here? That's what I didn't sign up for, to be part of cheating so for me clarity is paramount."

Doesn't matter if it's poly or open marriage. If the partner opposes, it's not a good sign but it's not necessarily cheating though. It just means they have an issue between themselves they need to resolve. It really depends on that couple. It's something we wouldn't get involved with but cant always say it's cheating because it depends on their own rulebook.

To clarify what I mean, both my wife and I have have the power of veto over each others meets. If either of us was unhappy about a meet the other was having, we agreed we could put a stop to it, no questions asked. She says no to me about meeting a lady, I do not meet that lady. It's never ever happened but it could. Just the same as if I was unhappy about her going off to the club on her own, I could stop it. Again never happened but it could. Thats our agreement.

It's the same principle as when we are meeting a couple as a couple. If we are not both on the same page it does not happen. To be fair, it's only ever been couple meets where one of has said no for one reason or another.

The point here is, my wife and I mean more to each other than any meet meet or random hook up. We've built a life and family together and we wont throw that away just for the sake of being horny or a shag. On the flip side though, we have both always been on the same page about monogamy and we actively enjoy the other misbehaving with others. Very much so in fact. Yeah, we know we could potentially end up going down the poly route and it's a bridge we will cross if and when that day comes but our dynamic works for us and we know variations on that work for others.

Everyone is different. We know some people wont entertain our "thing" and that some people are suspicious and/or are confused by it but thats the point. It's "our thing" not anyone else's. Just as some guys like to be cuckolded or some people are into BDSM, everyone has their thing.

And honestly, due to the amount of guys and gals on here who are cheating I can see why some people wont go near anyone who is married. Dosent mean it's fair to tar every married person with the same brush though. We're swingers, this is a swingers site and we are just doing what swingers do.

I would suggest to anyone who open to meet meeting a married person but not wanting to get involved in drama or be the victim of lies, if in doubt ask to video call them and their spouse together or meet them both for a social. My wife would happily do either just as I would for her. It's extra hoops but if you think you'll have a fun time with that person that way you'll know for sure that they are being completely honest with you and those who are not, well they will have all the excuses in the world.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"So if the poly person's partner opposes it then would they be a cheating poly on here? That's what I didn't sign up for, to be part of cheating so for me clarity is paramount."

Yes they would. You can be poly and still cheat... But a couple's profile won't always help avoid that.

I'm poly, married to a monogamous man.

He is fully aware, has met previous Partners, met the occasional person from fab to say hello to if required.

But especially with one off meets or causal encounters he'd actually rather not be involved at all (he's asexual so doesn't really get why I like one offs).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"So if the poly person's partner opposes it then would they be a cheating poly on here? That's what I didn't sign up for, to be part of cheating so for me clarity is paramount.

Yes they would. You can be poly and still cheat... But a couple's profile won't always help avoid that.

I'm poly, married to a monogamous man.

He is fully aware, has met previous Partners, met the occasional person from fab to say hello to if required.

But especially with one off meets or causal encounters he'd actually rather not be involved at all (he's asexual so doesn't really get why I like one offs). "

Not to hijack the thread but holy moley that black dress is amazing on you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this. "

There are many variations of polyamorous relationships, I class my relationship with my wife as poly as she has a loving relationship with a BF as well as being in a loving marriage with me, the fact me and him are straight and don't really interact is irrelevant, her and her BF currently don't engage in casual sex with anyone else however I am free to if I please and I'm also free to pursue a loving relationship with another woman if I wish, to me poly means being able to love more than one at the same time but others it might mean something different,

I choose to have a singles profile as it is only me looking for others at the moment, I don't believe it would be fair on others me using a couples profile to try and arrange meets on my own. Bry x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people are a bit fixated on labels, and it can often work against them.

During my life I've met poly people having mono relationships, one-sided poly relationships where the partner is mono and so on. I've also met people who are emotionally mono, but sexually very promiscuous.

It's up to the individual to choose their own lifestyle -- but becoming fixated on a definition can be quite limiting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, I find it weird that the opposite of polyamory is considered to be monogamy -- but correctly it's monoamory, and the opposite of monogamy is polygamy.

Yes, I'm pedantic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me the labels actually helped, it some how normalises it and reassures me that there are other people out there doing the same thing, but can equally understand that for some the labels could work against them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"So if the poly person's partner opposes it then would they be a cheating poly on here? That's what I didn't sign up for, to be part of cheating so for me clarity is paramount.

Yes they would. You can be poly and still cheat... But a couple's profile won't always help avoid that.

I'm poly, married to a monogamous man.

He is fully aware, has met previous Partners, met the occasional person from fab to say hello to if required.

But especially with one off meets or causal encounters he'd actually rather not be involved at all (he's asexual so doesn't really get why I like one offs).

Not to hijack the thread but holy moley that black dress is amazing on you. "

Thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I think people are a bit fixated on labels, and it can often work against them.

During my life I've met poly people having mono relationships, one-sided poly relationships where the partner is mono and so on. I've also met people who are emotionally mono, but sexually very promiscuous.

It's up to the individual to choose their own lifestyle -- but becoming fixated on a definition can be quite limiting."

But if you don't know that person which often happens on fab, a quick label helps to identify you as a person. Like I'm a domme so not keen on dom men, quick way to help people not waste their time barking up the wrong tree as I would never be submissive on fab

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But if you don't know that person which often happens on fab, a quick label helps to identify you as a person. Like I'm a domme so not keen on dom men, quick way to help people not waste their time barking up the wrong tree as I would never be submissive on fab"

That's also true, yes -- so maybe we need more labels rather than fewer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/08/22 21:07:32]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Just read you original post OP and I would define that as an open relationship. My wife is happy for me to see other people for sex but I am not poly. She prefers the poly life rather than just occasional sex with other people. We have a couples account but we are unlikely to use it unless we want to join a social.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this. "

Hi the way I understand polyamory is that you can have multiple fulfilling relationships not necessarily loving some of them might turn out to be loving some might not.

I am in a polyamorous relationship I say that because my wife has another loving relationship as well as me, she is happy with just the two of us and doesn't currently want to carry on swinging where as I do, so with full consent I have hidden our couples account and set up a single guys account as I don't want to give anyone the false impression that they might be meeting us both or even talking to us both, I'm always honest about it and let anyone I'm chatting to know so they can decide for themselves if they are comfortable with our arrangement or not.

Hope that makes sense. Nick

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eterinpantiesukMan
over a year ago

southam

II thought a polyamorous relationship was where the wife was free to offer sex to other men or even invite them to live wiht her but hubby was to concentrate entirely on her pleasure and not mess about with other women

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"II thought a polyamorous relationship was where the wife was free to offer sex to other men or even invite them to live wiht her but hubby was to concentrate entirely on her pleasure and not mess about with other women"

Think you might benefit from googling it, there are lots of different types of polyamorous relationships and what you are talking about sounds more like a hotwife/cuckold type of thing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

I’m poly, we have a couples profile here but we also might meet separately, although that’s not what I’m looking for here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m poly, we have a couples profile here but we also might meet separately, although that’s not what I’m looking for here. "

Although I'm in a Poly relationship I'm unsure if that makes me Poly I like the Idea of having a secondary relationship alongside my primary relationship but unfortunately while love is infinite time is not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

In my peer group it's quite a hot topic and a bit overused. Me and my GF are in an open relationship, we have no interest in other partners or including anyone else in our relationship. I can only be emotionally unavailable to one person at a time!

We both enjoy casual sex with other people though. I think like other people have pointed out, poly gets mixed up with ethical non monogamy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/10/22 12:34:09]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my peer group it's quite a hot topic and a bit overused. Me and my GF are in an open relationship, we have no interest in other partners or including anyone else in our relationship. I can only be emotionally unavailable to one person at a time!

We both enjoy casual sex with other people though. I think like other people have pointed out, poly gets mixed up with ethical non monogamy."

But then I would class ethical non monogamy as swinging, open relationships and polyamory basically anything that isn't monogamous with consent

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"In my peer group it's quite a hot topic and a bit overused. Me and my GF are in an open relationship, we have no interest in other partners or including anyone else in our relationship. I can only be emotionally unavailable to one person at a time!

We both enjoy casual sex with other people though. I think like other people have pointed out, poly gets mixed up with ethical non monogamy.

But then I would class ethical non monogamy as swinging, open relationships and polyamory basically anything that isn't monogamous with consent"

Poly is much more focused on multiple partners with an emphasis on them being equals. A three way relationship for example rather than a couple with someone on the side. ENM swinging and open relationships are the same to me. People are going to have their own ideas about how they look though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my peer group it's quite a hot topic and a bit overused. Me and my GF are in an open relationship, we have no interest in other partners or including anyone else in our relationship. I can only be emotionally unavailable to one person at a time!

We both enjoy casual sex with other people though. I think like other people have pointed out, poly gets mixed up with ethical non monogamy.

But then I would class ethical non monogamy as swinging, open relationships and polyamory basically anything that isn't monogamous with consent

Poly is much more focused on multiple partners with an emphasis on them being equals. A three way relationship for example rather than a couple with someone on the side. ENM swinging and open relationships are the same to me. People are going to have their own ideas about how they look though."

This is where I would respectfully disagree there are so many varieties of polyamory and yes there are some where everyone is equal and all in one relationships together and if you ask most people that is how they would imagine it to be, but after doing tonnes of reading about the subject and listening to podcasts it is actually the less common way of practising polyamory, there is no right way or wrong way so long as everyone involved is happy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"In my peer group it's quite a hot topic and a bit overused. Me and my GF are in an open relationship, we have no interest in other partners or including anyone else in our relationship. I can only be emotionally unavailable to one person at a time!

We both enjoy casual sex with other people though. I think like other people have pointed out, poly gets mixed up with ethical non monogamy.

But then I would class ethical non monogamy as swinging, open relationships and polyamory basically anything that isn't monogamous with consent

Poly is much more focused on multiple partners with an emphasis on them being equals. A three way relationship for example rather than a couple with someone on the side. ENM swinging and open relationships are the same to me. People are going to have their own ideas about how they look though.

This is where I would respectfully disagree there are so many varieties of polyamory and yes there are some where everyone is equal and all in one relationships together and if you ask most people that is how they would imagine it to be, but after doing tonnes of reading about the subject and listening to podcasts it is actually the less common way of practising polyamory, there is no right way or wrong way so long as everyone involved is happy"

Like I said, people have their own ideas about what things mean.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my peer group it's quite a hot topic and a bit overused. Me and my GF are in an open relationship, we have no interest in other partners or including anyone else in our relationship. I can only be emotionally unavailable to one person at a time!

We both enjoy casual sex with other people though. I think like other people have pointed out, poly gets mixed up with ethical non monogamy.

But then I would class ethical non monogamy as swinging, open relationships and polyamory basically anything that isn't monogamous with consent

Poly is much more focused on multiple partners with an emphasis on them being equals. A three way relationship for example rather than a couple with someone on the side. ENM swinging and open relationships are the same to me. People are going to have their own ideas about how they look though.

This is where I would respectfully disagree there are so many varieties of polyamory and yes there are some where everyone is equal and all in one relationships together and if you ask most people that is how they would imagine it to be, but after doing tonnes of reading about the subject and listening to podcasts it is actually the less common way of practising polyamory, there is no right way or wrong way so long as everyone involved is happy

Like I said, people have their own ideas about what things mean."

exactly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"In my peer group it's quite a hot topic and a bit overused. Me and my GF are in an open relationship, we have no interest in other partners or including anyone else in our relationship. I can only be emotionally unavailable to one person at a time!

We both enjoy casual sex with other people though. I think like other people have pointed out, poly gets mixed up with ethical non monogamy.

But then I would class ethical non monogamy as swinging, open relationships and polyamory basically anything that isn't monogamous with consent

Poly is much more focused on multiple partners with an emphasis on them being equals. A three way relationship for example rather than a couple with someone on the side. ENM swinging and open relationships are the same to me. People are going to have their own ideas about how they look though.

This is where I would respectfully disagree there are so many varieties of polyamory and yes there are some where everyone is equal and all in one relationships together and if you ask most people that is how they would imagine it to be, but after doing tonnes of reading about the subject and listening to podcasts it is actually the less common way of practising polyamory, there is no right way or wrong way so long as everyone involved is happy

Like I said, people have their own ideas about what things mean.

exactly"

But then time has to be spent understanding their terms of relationship and you end up either agreeing or disagreeing...wasted time and energy? When a precise term help to eliminate this? Its like being really attracted to a guy who says he's straight but in reality he isn't. But you just can't accept his physical involvement with other men?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my peer group it's quite a hot topic and a bit overused. Me and my GF are in an open relationship, we have no interest in other partners or including anyone else in our relationship. I can only be emotionally unavailable to one person at a time!

We both enjoy casual sex with other people though. I think like other people have pointed out, poly gets mixed up with ethical non monogamy.

But then I would class ethical non monogamy as swinging, open relationships and polyamory basically anything that isn't monogamous with consent

Poly is much more focused on multiple partners with an emphasis on them being equals. A three way relationship for example rather than a couple with someone on the side. ENM swinging and open relationships are the same to me. People are going to have their own ideas about how they look though.

This is where I would respectfully disagree there are so many varieties of polyamory and yes there are some where everyone is equal and all in one relationships together and if you ask most people that is how they would imagine it to be, but after doing tonnes of reading about the subject and listening to podcasts it is actually the less common way of practising polyamory, there is no right way or wrong way so long as everyone involved is happy

Like I said, people have their own ideas about what things mean.

exactly

But then time has to be spent understanding their terms of relationship and you end up either agreeing or disagreeing...wasted time and energy? When a precise term help to eliminate this? Its like being really attracted to a guy who says he's straight but in reality he isn't. But you just can't accept his physical involvement with other men?"

Normally it's pretty simple to explain there terms and over time Poly relationships change in different ways just like any normal monogamous relationships the simplest way to explain mine and my wife relationship currently is that we are half poly half open relationship shes on the poly side of it and has another romantic relationship I on the open relationship side, have multiple sexual relationships, hence why I'm on here, if you can find a team for that I'd be happy to take it on lol the main thing is it works for us and if I was to decide I wanted another romantic relationship who ever it was with would already know alot about my dynamic and would be able to decide themselves if they wanted to have a go at it or not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andSCouple
over a year ago

PDI for now


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this. "

There's polyamorous and there's open relationships and I think someone's got their explanation wrong.

The situation you're describing sounds more likely to be an open relationship than anything else.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'm really confused when people tell me they're in a polyamourous relationship but their girlfriend gives them the right to have casual sex with women. By definition, doesn't poly mean being in loving relationship with more than one person? So shouldn't they be better to have couple profile rather than a single man profile? I would find it difficult to trust these single men profiles claiming this.

There's polyamorous and there's open relationships and I think someone's got their explanation wrong.

The situation you're describing sounds more likely to be an open relationship than anything else."

Open relationships only then to be having other sexual relationships, polyamorous relationships are when you have other loving relationships

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19664033/polyamory-vs-open-relationships/

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poly is loving more than one person, a thruple. Not the same as a sexual threesome.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Poly is loving more than one person, a thruple. Not the same as a sexual threesome."

It doesn't have to be a Thruple and is actually a less common type of polyamory, you are 100% correct about loving more then one person though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Poly is loving more than one person, a thruple. Not the same as a sexual threesome.

It doesn't have to be a Thruple and is actually a less common type of polyamory, you are 100% correct about loving more then one person though"
I love more than one woman but I'm not with them anymore lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top