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Should men message first ?

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By *ad boy maverick OP   Man
over a year ago

basildon

I wonder if we'd be better off not messaging till we are messaged .

1/ Reason being it would stop women and couples being plagued by unwanted messages.

2/ It would give them more time to look for what they want.

3/ Those that make an effort with their profile might stand more of a chance and not get mixed into the bulk delete.

What are your thoughts ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think it would have any effect unless every man on the site stopped for a month. I can't see that happening.

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By *ad boy maverick OP   Man
over a year ago

basildon

Regrettably I agree. Shame though. It would be better or maybe couple and women should just block singles so they can control what happens. Ie unblock search and then reblock. ?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"I wonder if we'd be better off not messaging till we are messaged .

1/ Reason being it would stop women and couples being plagued by unwanted messages.

2/ It would give them more time to look for what they want.

3/ Those that make an effort with their profile might stand more of a chance and not get mixed into the bulk delete.

What are your thoughts ?"

Sounds good. Do it

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

If people want this they can set their filters to block single mens messages.

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Get where you are coming from OP few issues might be:

-Some ladies like the man to make the 1st move & take the lead

-Some ladies won't message 1st cause they fear rejection

-Like someone said 'ladies & couples can always change their message filters so they get to message 1st if they fancy'

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By *ickingdelightMan
over a year ago

Cotswolds

Could be more, men can’t message women, or couple profiles but they can wink.

If female/couple wink back the male can then message, or if women messages first then it unlocks replying etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get where you are coming from OP few issues might be:

-Some ladies like the man to make the 1st move & take the lead

-Some ladies won't message 1st cause they fear rejection

-Like someone said 'ladies & couples can always change their message filters so they get to message 1st if they fancy' "

This

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By *ase4122Man
over a year ago

Lancashire


"I wonder if we'd be better off not messaging till we are messaged .

1/ Reason being it would stop women and couples being plagued by unwanted messages.

2/ It would give them more time to look for what they want.

3/ Those that make an effort with their profile might stand more of a chance and not get mixed into the bulk delete.

What are your thoughts ?"

Be alot of men sat with their fingers up their ass waiting to be messaged,me included

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If people allow messages, then it's reasonable for others to message, of any gender, if their profile doesn't request that you don't.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

I think it should be if you like and are interested in someone ..message them ..that goes for men and women ..whats the worse that will happen

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

I do wish more women did message first

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By *ickingdelightMan
over a year ago

Cotswolds


"I think it should be if you like and are interested in someone ..message them ..that goes for men and women ..whats the worse that will happen "

What happens is guys bombard a new female as ‘fresh opportunity’ which most likely scare them off.

Yes in perfect world 100% agree but with the hard truths of there are more guys than women on this site, limiting guys from spamming every female with a pulse, it allows a more enjoying experience for women.

So by having a way to stop guys messaging unless female winks or messages first resolves that.

But I expect nothing will actively change

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By *iredhandMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"I do wish more women did message first "

Maybe they do but you might not be what they’re looking for? Lots of guys on here for far fewer ladies to choose from so the odds are stacked against you to begin with. In a way, fab is no different from the real world as women in general wouldn’t make first contact in a bar either, unless you have a different experience?

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By *reampie_yourwifeMan
over a year ago

barnsley

Don’t see anything wrong with guys messaging first, if couples or lady’s don’t want messaging they can always block single guys.

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

It's bad enough now with single guys pretending to be a couple

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

It's not time that stops me messaging first, it's trawling through the search list for even one profile worth messaging.

Sometimes it's worth the boredom and page after page for that one profile that resonates.

We may get 'bombarded' but it takes a lot less time than you'd think to click through their profile and message and delete to allow us to focus on meaningful communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op why do you beleive us women dont message first ??? just because you recieved none dont mean we dont

us women are not the reserved little shy things you hope we are ...if i see a profile i like i message its that simple know plenty other women do the same...

i like a full inbox because it gives me a chance to pr block those im defo not interested in

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east


"It's not time that stops me messaging first, it's trawling through the search list for even one profile worth messaging.

Sometimes it's worth the boredom and page after page for that one profile that resonates.

We may get 'bombarded' but it takes a lot less time than you'd think to click through their profile and message and delete to allow us to focus on meaningful communication. "

Waves to get your attention ....im over here ..no need to troll though profiles

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Winking is better...then if she winks back, message. Don't go straight in with crazy messages and friends request

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just wish guys would read our profile properly first before messaging ... most don't and they send messages that really are not going to result in anything more than the delete button being hit.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"It's not time that stops me messaging first, it's trawling through the search list for even one profile worth messaging.

Sometimes it's worth the boredom and page after page for that one profile that resonates.

We may get 'bombarded' but it takes a lot less time than you'd think to click through their profile and message and delete to allow us to focus on meaningful communication. "

Yes when i go hunting, I literally go through pages of unsuitables. It's total mindfield.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east


"It's not time that stops me messaging first, it's trawling through the search list for even one profile worth messaging.

Sometimes it's worth the boredom and page after page for that one profile that resonates.

We may get 'bombarded' but it takes a lot less time than you'd think to click through their profile and message and delete to allow us to focus on meaningful communication.

Yes when i go hunting, I literally go through pages of unsuitables. It's total mindfield."

WAVESSSS

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"I wonder if we'd be better off not messaging till we are messaged .

1/ Reason being it would stop women and couples being plagued by unwanted messages.

2/ It would give them more time to look for what they want.

3/ Those that make an effort with their profile might stand more of a chance and not get mixed into the bulk delete.

What are your thoughts ?"

Well if you're going to opt out I'll opt in only fair one way to cut the numbers down

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