FabSwingers.com forum: Is it just me? Or...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

... Is it incredibly hard to initiate even a conversation with women on here for a single male? I'm new (as you can tell) but came on here excited thinking new experiences/fun times ahead etc and to be honest so far it's just been a bigger dent to my already damaged confidence (don't let the pics fool you).

I've tried different ways of initiating conversation and I actually read profiles but I'm literally getting nothing back, so far I've had two potential girls who I've been messaging. One has blocked me for some random reason mid-conversation (I know you are what you thinking “You must have done something wrong got her to stop messaging you” right? The last message I sent had no talk of meeting and I asked how her day had gone, that's it) and the other has just stopped messaging even though things seemed to be goin well :S

I'm not exactly expecting women to be flooding to me asking to meet them this very second but I didn't think it would be so dam hard to even speak with women on here! It genuinely seems harder than just going to a club or something. Just for the record I am willing to speak with them and get to know them first, I'm willing to go as fast or slow as they want as long as they are genuine and won't mess me around. I'm not sure if its because they just think men are desperate on here but the truth is this isn't some last resort option for me to have sex, I'm on here to meet like-minded people and take away some of the hassles of having to see what girls are into etc here you can clearly see that from their profiles.

The worst thing about all this though, and before I start I would like to say I mean no offence when I say this to anyone. I'm straight but I'm getting messages, friend requests and winks/fab pics from bi sexual/gay men or transvestites. Now while I'm not homophobic and I am flattered I'm at least getting some attention, its not the kind I want and its making me feel a bit worse as I'm starting to wonder if I seem to have a kind of gay aura which is why they are going for me (even though I clearly state in my profile I'm after girls and I'm straight) because I'm not trying to lead any guys on (can't believe I'm sayin all this lol).

I'm just wondering if any other single males are struggling on here? I got verified asap as I wanted it to be clear I was genuine but something isn't clicking and I don't know what it is. I came on here thinking I would have a fun enjoyable experience but in all honesty I'm considering closing my account already as I get the feeling I'm gonna seeing this happen for a long time (i.e. Forever! lol) but yeah, if I'm not the only one please let me know because right now I feel like I'm the problem. Hi everyone by the way lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to be a whinger.. but fuck it.

Is it just me or are more and more of these posts creeping out of the 'Advice threads' into the other threads?

I avoid the advice threads for the most part, Can't these types of posts get moved to the right forum instead of cluttering up every other place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a woman opens your message she will most probably click on your profile to find out more about you first only to see a one line profile....then simply delete your message since you hardly say anything about yourself what so ever.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"... Is it incredibly hard to initiate even a conversation with women on here for a single male? I'm new (as you can tell) but came on here excited thinking new experiences/fun times ahead etc and to be honest so far it's just been a bigger dent to my already damaged confidence (don't let the pics fool you).

how long did it take to compose & type this, put the same in to your profile and you will be onto a winner...

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMFG...

Only just seen you've been here 7 days.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

u seem like a nice guy so here is a little advice use the chat rooms and go to socials at clubs if u like the idea of clubs honestly face to face is sometimes easier x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and put effort into your profile cause at moment to be honest its rubbish one line seriously !!!!!!!!!!!!!! this makes u stand out in the wrong way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly block single males to stop their attention.

Secondly, this post shows that you can write so why on earth is your profile 1 line long? Your profile is your shop window and it is crap.

You have good pictures and can accomodate, write a half decent profile and I'd be surprised if you still struggle.

As for the 2 people that have replied and the messages dried up - no one likes pushy people but equally the way you tell it they met have thought that it was going nowhere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I'll be honest, the reason I didn't write a big bio is for the simple reason that I thought everyone here was after the same thing... Sex. I just thought there's not much point writing my life story on here as this isn't for dating, its for meeting people you like and having fun. I've actually read some womens profiles who say, and I quote “I don't want to know you, I just want some fun”. So me being new here I just ran with that thought process and didn't write anything as I thought attraction would take primary concern over what you write because besides, people can make up what ever they want on their profile about themselves right? I actually take time to do messages and incorporate what I've read into it but that doesn't seem to be enough.

@ Mr. Naughty, Fair enough yes, I am new here (which I clearly stated in my first post anyway) but I have sent enough messages to have expected some kind of progress by now, I wouldn't have took time to write all this if I didn't think it was justified so you just have to take my word that I am saying it as I feel it has been long enough to ask others. Since joining in these 7 days I've had a transvestite and a bi sexual guy wanting to meet me within the 3 days I was here, so why can't I find that from a woman? I really don't see how new or old I am here affects what I am saying to be honest.

@Just_fia, About the wrong room, I'm new here as stated before so that's my error and if this needs to be moved that's fine but hopefully it doesn't go to a dead part of the forum which no one reads so it can fade to nothing as I am trying to hear feedback from other people about their experiences on here but one thing I will say is, you could get the gist of what this was about from the beginning so you could have easily just stopped reading and just leave the thread, with all due respect.

Thanks to the @_iew, nawty_oreo and Crystal_Wheels who constructively gave feedback tho (and Mr. Naughty cause his initial post was trying to be helpful). I didn't really think my profile would matter much on here, more attraction but if that's what it is I will give it a go but I'm not really a confident person to write an essay on myself about all this stuff to be honest, but ill give it a go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The title could've been anything, but rest assured I stopped reading in record time.

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By *ittle Minx 73Woman
over a year ago

South Suffolk

how long did it take to compose & type this, put the same in to your profile and you will be onto a winner...

good luck"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The title could've been anything, but rest assured I stopped reading in record time.

That's great, no inconvenience caused then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i get a message 1st thing i do is look at the profile

if the profile doesn't interest me i dont bother replying

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Well I'll be honest, the reason I didn't write a big bio is for the simple reason that I thought everyone here was after the same thing... Sex. I just thought there's not much point writing my life story on here as this isn't for dating, its for meeting people you like and having fun. I've actually read some womens profiles who say, and I quote “I don't want to know you, I just want some fun”. So me being new here I just ran with that thought process and didn't write anything as I thought attraction would take primary concern over what you write because besides, people can make up what ever they want on their profile about themselves right? I actually take time to do messages and incorporate what I've read into it but that doesn't seem to be enough.

if you are confident enough to call yourself Python on a sex site, you can string a few words together

good luck and have fun

all the best

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can I just ask then... What exactly is it you women wanna see/read exactly? Do you wanna know about me or what I'm trying to find on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've inadvertently fallen into the trap that many people before you have (myself included), that is, people are only here for sex. The fact is, people do read profiles, at least some do, and the better your profile, the more your chance of success. Add to that, you'll go through purple patches when you have many people wanting to message you and then there will be the times of drought, when you can't even buy a response from prospective swingers.

A few years ago things were a lot easier for single males on FAB. You only have to compare the number of swingers on here to say four years ago, the figure has gone up 50%, and of that increase, you can bet that us single males have accounted for the bulk of the increase.

I've been through the situations you describe and sometimes it's peeed me off so much that I ve left FAB. My advice is to persevere and above all, don't take it too seriously, after all, it's supposed to be fun! Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've inadvertently fallen into the trap that many people before you have (myself included), that is, people are only here for sex. The fact is, people do read profiles, at least some do, and the better your profile, the more your chance of success. Add to that, you'll go through purple patches when you have many people wanting to message you and then there will be the times of drought, when you can't even buy a response from prospective swingers.

Thanks for taking time out to read the thread man, and that goes for everyone on here who has messaged constructive feedback! I kinda get it now and I will try and see how this goes, I've spoken with a nice lady on here who has told me apparently there's a lot of fakes and time wasters on here so I kinda understand more now about why this happens. I've updated my profile so if any of u guys would like to give me feedback either on here or via private message that's appreciated

here's hoping things can turn around soon! Hope everybody has fun on here x

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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

It's not all about sex my dear, it can also be about the journey e.g mutual attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello mat swap your sex over and looking for men and see the mental choice they have it will fuck with your head then you will know why

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By *hérieWoman
over a year ago

North Wales

"It's not all about sex my dear, it can also be about the journey e.g mutual attraction."

Spot on.

Be patient, polite and persevere. It is early days.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Well your profile looks fien now and you look great. How would you feel about going to a swinger club to get a meet verification? I know Chams has a waiting list a mile long for single blokes but if you get on a social party list you would meet a fair few people and that would help you a lot.

Look here:

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/130512

or keep an eye on the meet requests and parties forum. There's usually a New Years Eve party too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They will only chat if they want to and 9 times out of 10 they won't. Wait untill they contact you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I am going to state the obvious

You are a good looking lad but you are young - I think that the majority of women on here are outside your age range - you should be going to clubs and pubs not looking online for easy free sex - on here it is definately not easy sex

Calling yourself Python will impress some but most it won't

Women get inundated with messages from everything from genuine sexy men to pissed up idiots too frightened to actually meet

As said before learn to use your filters if you only want messages from women

And leave it a lot longer before you complain about not gets meets

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok I am going to state the obvious

Calling yourself Python will impress some but most it won't

Women get inundated with messages from everything from genuine sexy men to pissed up idiots too frightened to actually meet

As said before learn to use your filters if you only want messages from women

And leave it a lot longer before you complain about not gets meets

Good luck x"

While this message is blunt and to the point, I thank you... Because I would rather hear the truth than people beating around the bush wasting my time.

Well I can't stand for the guys with fake profiles/time wasters but all I can say is this... I'm genuine just like other guys on here and my time is precious too, so if it means me leaving this site early and doing things the old fashioned way then so be it as I'm not just a desperate guy on here in need of sex.

The name Python isn't actually me just trying to impress women to jump into bed with me, I'm not so young and naïve as to think me putting a name like that would attract attention. It actually is a nickname adopted from high school that has stuck with me.

Being honest I don't think my time here has anything to do with me complaing/askin for feedback as I could messaged 100 women for all anyone knows on here during that period of time which would validate me asking these questions.

It would seem that way, its sad but maybe I just am too young to be on this website and earn a genuine meet... Thing is and again no offence to anyone on here, I wouldn't intend to be on here in my 30's to 40's... That's why I'm on here now while I am young, but I guess women don't wanna believe that which is fair enough, I will only try for so long before I just write this site off as a bad decision as this isn't exactly my last chance at fun.

It's kinda sad that this site has to be define by an age category but sometimes that's just how it goes, oh and for the record... The name Python isn't just me trying to impress a woman to thinking I'm well hung, its actually a nickname I've had since high school (believe it or not) I'm not so young and naïve to think that me giving myself a name like that is going ensure women thinking I've got a monster in my trousers and I'm going to get hundreds of offers (again with no disrespect intended). Thanks for everyone who has messaged and positively contributed to this thread though, it has helped and maybe things will change and if not, I will delete my profile and do things the old fashioned way. Happy swinging people! x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well your profile looks fien now and you look great. How would you feel about going to a swinger club to get a meet verification? I know Chams has a waiting list a mile long for single blokes but if you get on a social party list you would meet a fair few people and that would help you a lot.

Look here:

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/130512

or keep an eye on the meet requests and parties forum. There's usually a New Years Eve party too."

Thanks for the compliment and the offer. Being new to all this I'm not sure if I would have confidence to just go to one of these parties alone but I will definitely give it some consideration as from what I've heard that's one of the best ways for single males on here.

Err I was little tipsy when writing my last post hence the repeat of one of the sentences (it was the weekend after all lol) but also apologies if anything I said came across offensive in my post didn't mean to disrespect anyone and hope it didn't sound that way. Sorry for bumping the thread, I know its kinda run its course now but thanks to everyone who's messaged me and contributed. Have fun everyone

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