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empty feeling?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

think this question is more for the single ladies,

ok ,as a single lady myself ,after a meet,i am often left with an empty feeling and have many times felt like an unpaid prostitute.Now this is not because of they way the guys have treated me,as they have all been very polite indeed.Just that many times i have felt it to be so cold.In a couple, i would imagine having the emotional back up from each other after a meet sort of makes things alright.Your views and thought please.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends on what you want from a meet.

For me I am meeting them purely to have fun, i get it and leave feeling freshly laid and quite content.

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

A lot of it depends on how long the meet lasts, if they arrive and you're both half naked ready for action and leave with no emotional feelings it will feel cold, have you tried meeting someone for a drink / meal, and considered an overnight stay?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/11/09 14:50:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If I was ever left feeling like that I would stop

or start charging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It all depends on what you want from a meet.

For me I am meeting them purely to have fun, i get it and leave feeling freshly laid and quite content.

"

oh thats just what i was going to say lol

i only want sex from this site so when they have gone im happy, back to my kids and thats how i like it

i would say if your left feeling empty and used after a meet maybe swinging isnt for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us swinging is simply NSA fun, anything beyond that is not swinging

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I think there may be middle ground - at one end of the scale is the

"wipe cock on curtains, dress and out the door before she's got her breath back"

And at the other is a more "partner-like" experience.

We're all at a point on the line between those two, it's just a question of making sure all participants are at similar points. It could be that the OP would appreciate a little more chat/coffee/spooning afterwards, and her playmates aren't aware of the need.

Or, I could be talking utter bollocks.

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

if i felt like that i'd stop as it would mean i was looking for something that swinging couldnt provide.

i swing with people i like to get to know and play with more than once, so i come away feeling confident and having had a great time with friends , and eager to repeat the experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perhaps underneath you are looking for more than sex and thats leaving you feeling empty?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"perhaps underneath you are looking for more than sex and thats leaving you feeling empty?"

I agree with the Fyfees. When someone is looking for a love, emotional, friend companion substitute ... a shag is going to leave them feeling empty.

Sometimes i'd just love a cuddle. I'd never look for one on here tho ...

Thish ish a shexsh shite

Shite! Shnigger !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats so sad... I can't believe some of you being so flippant..

My advice would be think about what your seeking, is havinga guy over and having fun is leaving you feeling empty and cold after, maybe line up two or three and give them time slots, soon you'll know when the emptiness stops and your glad of your own company again..

Take no notice of this lot. All they think about is wild abandoned good fun no strings attached sex... Pahhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think there may be middle ground - at one end of the scale is the

"wipe cock on curtains, dress and out the door before she's got her breath back"

And at the other is a more "partner-like" experience.

We're all at a point on the line between those two, it's just a question of making sure all participants are at similar points. It could be that the OP would appreciate a little more chat/coffee/spooning afterwards, and her playmates aren't aware of the need.

Or, I could be talking utter bollocks. "

I agree with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said Notts, this is a genuine sounding person with a genuine issue, looking for advice/help.

I think it should be understood that while there are a lot of folk on here who really are into the basic NSA fun, but there are others, who still call themselves "swingers", who look for a very definite social side to things and although still treating it as NSA, are also into making friends and seeing people more than once.

So my tuppence worth, would be to suggest that the lady has a serious think about exactly what she's looking for, and then go forwards from there!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the most important part of all of this is if you connect to the person mentally as well as physically.....

Whether you are a 'swinger'..or looking for 'NSA' if there's no attraction there's no action....

Or does that also make me here for the wrong reason?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I currently not able to form any emotional attachment. However, I have needs that cannot be satisfied by "toys". Hence I joined adult sites such as FAB in order to find NSA fun.

For the meets I have had, I felt content and relaxed afterwards.

I did not feel empty, and was rather glad to be going home/sleep in my bed on my own etc...

Although waking up and cuddling up to someone from time to time is nice, however, I do not want the hassle of sharing my life with anyone at present.

Each to their own, and I may feel differently after a period of time.

Right now, I just want fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

well i went on a dating site ,and all the blokes wanted a shag ....i went to church ...and the vicar knew i played the keyboard and asked me to look at his organ.....so i came on here ,knowing that at least i would get a shag with honest about it guys,still feel empty.Maybe i SHOULD charge ,but money embarreses me and i'd only ask for a fiver and if they asked for 3 quid change ,i'd rummage through my purse gathering all me shrapnel.Maybe i'll go to pottery lessons,at least i'll come away with something .. a dodgey looking vase and feel satified that 'i made that i did'...hmmm

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"

Or, I could be talking utter bollocks.

I agree with you."

Fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i 1st started playing i never felt empty....but did feel quite cheap. took me a while to enjoy and let my hair down but now i hate the after sex chats find them quite awkward and prefer for the blokes to shoot off. every one is different and after different experiences.....maybe you should opt for an over night meet xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well said Notts, this is a genuine sounding person with a genuine issue, looking for advice/help.

I think it should be understood that while there are a lot of folk on here who really are into the basic NSA fun, but there are others, who still call themselves "swingers", who look for a very definite social side to things and although still treating it as NSA, are also into making friends and seeing people more than once.

So my tuppence worth, would be to suggest that the lady has a serious think about exactly what she's looking for, and then go forwards from there!!

"

Uhmmmmmmmmmm Glasgae .. this is Orson calling. Read Notts post again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well i went on a dating site ,and all the blokes wanted a shag ....i went to church ...and the vicar knew i played the keyboard and asked me to look at his organ.....so i came on here ,knowing that at least i would get a shag with honest about it guys,still feel empty.Maybe i SHOULD charge ,but money embarreses me and i'd only ask for a fiver and if they asked for 3 quid change ,i'd rummage through my purse gathering all me shrapnel.Maybe i'll go to pottery lessons,at least i'll come away with something .. a dodgey looking vase and feel satified that 'i made that i did'...hmmm "

Well that made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generaly go make a cuppa while he is dressing back up and it gives time to get my thoughts together. It also breaks the ice if things are not going well you can leave or ask them to leave.

Was at one meet and had dressed when we started kissing and got carried away. Next we were playing again and in the end had to run out the door as would be late for the train so not always able to gaged the response of the people that you play with.

I do like to let them know I got home safetly and that I enjoyed myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if a first meet goes well, i kinda like either that one or next ones to be overnight, sex is quite emotional and i kinda like being able to snuggle someone all night afterwards, which usually means you wake up a couple of times... (new partner syndrome)

i think it's almost like being madly in love with this person for the night, but then they go and you fall madly in love with someone else for the night next time, then you get to get rid of him till next time .... :D

them clearing off after a couple of hours, is great if the meet hasn't gone so well tho lol .... but i do tend to feel empty when meets have gone like that ... and often fone a friend to come round after lol....

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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago

south staffs

@Hornyslutdog

I tend to agree. Sex for me is quite emotional. After all I am opening up my most intimate parts - physical and mental - to the guy I am with and enjoy it enormously when I get the same feeling back again. I need to click/engage with that person to the point where it feels like falling in love. That for me is the best meet, and they do get better the more I see that person again.

It is always worth spelling out what you expect / hope for when planning a meet with someone, then you both know what you are going for.

Hugs to all

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jane, I agree with you.

It's all well and good knowing what you want at the beginning....what happens if your feelings change though?

It's lovely having a regular partner, and I agree, it gets better and better as you get to know them, but it is sometimes difficult to stay emotionally unattached...for me anyway x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jane, I agree with you.

It's all well and good knowing what you want at the beginning....what happens if your feelings change though?

It's lovely having a regular partner, and I agree, it gets better and better as you get to know them, but it is sometimes difficult to stay emotionally unattached...for me anyway x"

i think its difficult for most people to stay emotionally unattached when they meet regular, the more you see someone the more you become friends and friends come with emotions, in one way or another, thats what makes you friends

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"think this question is more for the single ladies,

ok ,as a single lady myself ,after a meet,i am often left with an empty feeling and have many times felt like an unpaid prostitute.Now this is not because of they way the guys have treated me,as they have all been very polite indeed.Just that many times i have felt it to be so cold.In a couple, i would imagine having the emotional back up from each other after a meet sort of makes things alright.Your views and thought please.xx"

Rather than views I have a few questions for you to think about:

1 - what do you really want?

2 - how far does what you are currently doing go towards getting what you really want and how much is just a substitute for what you really want?

3 - why do something which leaves you feeling empty?

4 - what harm could those feelings do to you in the long run?

5 - if you know it will make you feel empty and need to hide that from the people you meet... who are you really trying to fool and why?

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