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How to get partner into swinging

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By *lueeyes3082 OP   Man
over a year ago

nr kettering

Any tips to get your partner into swinging. She isn't as adventurous as me but would love to get her into it

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Talk to her

Tell her your fantasies, ask her about hers

Ask her if she's ever thought about swinging, swapping, threesomes etc

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By *lueeyes3082 OP   Man
over a year ago

nr kettering

Tried all those we been together 10 years but she is quite vanilla. Dont know if to just come out with it but don't want to cause a row lol. Thanks for the advice though I appreciate it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably start with telling her you’ve been on here for over a year as a single male, and take it from there

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Does she know your on fab

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By *lueeyes3082 OP   Man
over a year ago

nr kettering


"Probably start with telling her you’ve been on here for over a year as a single male, and take it from there "

She knows

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By *lueeyes3082 OP   Man
over a year ago

nr kettering


"Does she know your on fab "

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel your pain. My old girlfriend years ago would never go for it and was just one of those things. Brought it up once and she went mad so didnt bring it up again and had to be vanilla for a few years sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably start with telling her you’ve been on here for over a year as a single male, and take it from there "

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.


"Any tips to get your partner into swinging. She isn't as adventurous as me but would love to get her into it "

Listen to a few bedhoppers podcasts with her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just chat ask her does she have any fantasies about involving other people & go from there that's all I can say

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Talk to her

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By *lueeyes3082 OP   Man
over a year ago

nr kettering


"Any tips to get your partner into swinging. She isn't as adventurous as me but would love to get her into it

Listen to a few bedhoppers podcasts with her. "

Thanks il try that.

And thanks for not needing to post sarcastic comments like some others. Appreciated x

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By *errysMan
over a year ago

milton keynes and kent

I think the best thing do do is research about coercion and give some thought as to weather you actually want to be married to this lady and then ask her if she would be interested in having a swingers lifestyle, then when she says no forget all about it or get divorced.

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By *ysteriousgirl97Woman
over a year ago

Coventry


"I think the best thing do do is research about coercion and give some thought as to weather you actually want to be married to this lady and then ask her if she would be interested in having a swingers lifestyle, then when she says no forget all about it or get divorced."

Yep. This is the blunt reality unfortunately.

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By *iromancergirl1Woman
over a year ago

bolton

I’d say if you have already broached the subject with her and she has no then that’s your answer and she is very unlikely to change her mind it just isn’t for some people but if she is ok for you to be on hear then that’s at least something to be positive about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Emphasise that you find the idea of threesomes hot perhaps?

Maybe even suggest a mfm threesome first to ally any fear / suspicion she may have that you just want to shag other women?

She's your wife, you know how to talk to her better than we do.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Ask them if they are interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just aren't interested and never well be. No amount of persuading can change their minds and will probably just put them off the idea even more.

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

She knows your on fab so would assume she knows what it’s all about and is happy for you to meet other people. Obviously it’s not for her.

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By *23RouteCouple
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Didn’t take much , I just said I think so and so fancies you and can’t blame him you look lovely , and she turned really flirty ! my wife admitted to me , that red wine removes her knickers when I first met her !!!!!

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By *mMrbrightsideMan
over a year ago

wakefield


"I think the best thing do do is research about coercion and give some thought as to weather you actually want to be married to this lady and then ask her if she would be interested in having a swingers lifestyle, then when she says no forget all about it or get divorced."

Was just going to say the same, it’s maybe not about the swinging but your relationship. Sadly by the sounds of it you both want different things out of life, you obviously both love each other so try and talk maybe see a councillor. Hopefully it works out for you op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. And if she doesn’t want to talk. Ask her why? And then talk about that.

They will have the answers more than strangers on the internet. And getting ‘her into it’, is about her making the choice, not you.

I cannot stress how much and how important communication is in a relationship.

*just my opinions, and you asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any tips to get your partner into swinging. She isn't as adventurous as me but would love to get her into it "

You firstly have to have great communication with your partner and make sure you get on well and already have a good sex life before even considering it . If your all above then tell her how you feel and see how she reacts to it that's all you can do and then just see if she brings it up off her own accord again

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.


"I think the best thing do do is research about coercion and give some thought as to weather you actually want to be married to this lady and then ask her if she would be interested in having a swingers lifestyle, then when she says no forget all about it or get divorced.

Yep. This is the blunt reality unfortunately. "

Very good point if you ask and she’s not interested then that’s the point you drop it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she knows you’re on here then she should know your in to swinging.

If she doesn’t know you’re on here then maybe tell her that you have a fantasy of watching her with another woman/guy and see what reaction you get or say you want to spice it up a bit and go to a swingers club, you can even say when we are at the club we only play together on our own but she might change her mind once in there and want more action.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you are originally dating or meeting someone new, mention it so you meet someone compatible from the off.

It may take longer to meet someone but at least you know they have the same interests as you.

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By *inna and SaintCouple
over a year ago

Sherbourne

If she is not into it then she isnt into it so pursuing it will potentially be an issue.

If she is a reluctant about aspects of it then if she will say what these factors are - you may get to discuss and understand objections or concerns and find a medium.

Some folk are just vanilla or monogamous - its as simple as that.

If she is so dead set against it then I am not sure why she is OK with you being on a swing site ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suggest going to a club just to watch. Make it clear you wouldn't have to play and that you remain clothed. Once she has seen the scene, you never know. That's how we started. Good luck! M

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

If she knows your on here that's great, maybe let her have a browse, offer to go to a club, maybe just watch or you both go and get a private room, ease her in.

I will say as it's happened to me in the past, repeatedly asking/nagging to do something she's uncomfortable with will result in her become very turned off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any tips to get your partner into swinging. She isn't as adventurous as me but would love to get her into it "

At the risk of stating the obvious but if her indoors knows you have a profile on a recreational sex site and that (presumably) knows you are meeting people then what’s the issue?

If you have fessed up to the Fab dalliance and she is still not interested then is the time for talking done?

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

You don't get anyone into swinging. It's a choice they make themselves. Anything else is coercion or bullying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably start with telling her you’ve been on here for over a year as a single male, and take it from there "

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By *iredhandMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It’s a reality that some people are not able to separate the emotional and physical aspects of sex. For those swinging is the opposite of what they want from a relationship. You need to decide whether your relationship with your partner means more than the pleasure you’d get from swinging.

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By *orkcoastguyMan
over a year ago

Bridlington.


"I think the best thing do do is research about coercion and give some thought as to weather you actually want to be married to this lady and then ask her if she would be interested in having a swingers lifestyle, then when she says no forget all about it or get divorced."

Sadly, when one party in a relationship wants to swing and the other doesn't it can gnaw away at one so much that it can sunder an otherwise good relationship.

We can offer all the advice in the world but if it doesn't work sadly that is often the outcome.

Good luck and I mean that for you both.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between."

So did you do it to make him happy ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between.

So did you do it to make him happy ?"

I'd assume that to be the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between."

I'm sorry to learn of this, I hope you find your peace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any tips to get your partner into swinging. She isn't as adventurous as me but would love to get her into it "

Talk openly with her, explain what you are interested in and ask if he interests her too.

If she's not interested, there's your answer.

Don't try to coerce or persuade her into this scene.

If it's not for her, re-evaluate what's most important to you, swinging or the relationship you currently have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confused when people say if you've asked her and she isn't interested then drop it or get divorced.

Don't people change their minds and preferences over time? Maybe she is going by what she thinks it is, not what it can be.

Best thing is education. See if she's willing to find out about it by simply researching together. Maybe she'll be totally uninterested, or who knows, she might discover an element of it that she's curious about and interests her too.

Plenty of times swinging wives who were totally against it end up becoming the driving force.

Message me if you want to chat sense after you've pulled all the daggers out of your back. Lol

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between.

So did you do it to make him happy ?

I'd assume that to be the case. "

That’s correct.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between.

I'm sorry to learn of this, I hope you find your peace. "

Thank you. I’m doing much better today x

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By *ndianchocolateMan
over a year ago

Pinner

Have u tried to watch porn with the role play scenarios and see if it’s something she likes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between.

I'm sorry to learn of this, I hope you find your peace.

Thank you. I’m doing much better today x"

That's better to read. Xx

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock


"Probably start with telling her you’ve been on here for over a year as a single male, and take it from there

She knows "

If she knows you're here & doesn't mind and has expressed no interest in experimenting herself I think you have your answer she's simply not interested & that's fine we are all different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm confused when people say if you've asked her and she isn't interested then drop it or get divorced.

Don't people change their minds and preferences over time? Maybe she is going by what she thinks it is, not what it can be.

Best thing is education. See if she's willing to find out about it by simply researching together. Maybe she'll be totally uninterested, or who knows, she might discover an element of it that she's curious about and interests her too.

Plenty of times swinging wives who were totally against it end up becoming the driving force.

Message me if you want to chat sense after you've pulled all the daggers out of your back. Lol"

This comment is the truth

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By *angbangcouple6969Man
over a year ago

Walsall

My hubby just told me straight before we got married. He told me he was a cuckold and the dynamic must be part of our lifestyle.

I was a little upset at first but after the first time I realised I loved the setup and have never looked back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don't get anyone into swinging. It's a choice they make themselves. Anything else is coercion or bullying. "

Bit wrong to say coercion or bullying, some people might think that it’s seedy at first but if they went to a club and saw first hand that it’s not all whips, spanking, chains etc and it’s people having a laugh and a good time then they might be more open to it.

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By * U mineMan
over a year ago

Fun


"You don't get anyone into swinging. It's a choice they make themselves. Anything else is coercion or bullying.

Bit wrong to say coercion or bullying, some people might think that it’s seedy at first but if they went to a club and saw first hand that it’s not all whips, spanking, chains etc and it’s people having a laugh and a good time then they might be more open to it. "

We go to different clubs for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between."

What happened that forces the relationship to end? Was it you that didn’t like it and decided against doing it again or was he pushing you to keep doing it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don't get anyone into swinging. It's a choice they make themselves. Anything else is coercion or bullying. "

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"I can share my personal experience of being “persuaded” into swinging by my ex partner. All I can say it didn’t end up well for the relationship and caused me unspeakable trauma to the point I can’t get intimate with anyone. Setting up my own account is my way of trying to deal with it. My advice is rethink your priorities. Looks like it’s either your relationship or your presence on here and there’s nothing in between.

What happened that forces the relationship to end? Was it you that didn’t like it and decided against doing it again or was he pushing you to keep doing it?"

Bit of both, tbh. We were looking for totally different things so was better just to part ways.

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By *lueeyes3082 OP   Man
over a year ago

nr kettering

Thanks everyone for the advice

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Ask her, accept her decision or get a new partner if your not happy to be in that relationship.

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By *inTonic2018Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

She knows you have a single profile on here and you've implied that she's stated she's not interested in swinging. It seems there may be a communication issue? Did you just tell her about your profile on here, or was there an agreement that you could go ahead and set one up? It seems weird that she knows about your involvement on here and does not want to engage in talking about it. I'd suggest you need to have an honest and open chat about why you're on here. It sounds a bit like she's washed her hands with your interests, which would be a concern for me.

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