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Who’s open about swinging?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Random ponderings from total newbies to the scene (just never had the opportunity to explore until recently)…who is open with people about swinging/playing/ethical non-monogamy? Or do you prefer to keep is discreet?

We live in a small part of the world where everyone knows everyone, so we are bound to be “found out” at some point. If that happened we wouldn’t be bothered, but at the same time we aren’t exactly shouting it from the rooftops. Thoughts?

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We keep it private, we don't even discuss our own sex life with friends. We also don't put our actual postcode as a location so we don't show up in local updates. If we saw someone we knew in a club we'd say hello, it wouldn't be a problem, we're there for the same reason. But what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t hide it, but also don’t really talk about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Random ponderings from total newbies to the scene (just never had the opportunity to explore until recently)…who is open with people about swinging/playing/ethical non-monogamy? Or do you prefer to keep is discreet?

We live in a small part of the world where everyone knows everyone, so we are bound to be “found out” at some point. If that happened we wouldn’t be bothered, but at the same time we aren’t exactly shouting it from the rooftops. Thoughts? "

Sums up

My views

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have always treated it as completely separate to our regular life. Would never want the two to overlap.

However we have met quite a few people thro Fab who have told thier friends/family and post public face pics etc.

So I guess everyone's different.

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By *hocolateRodMan
over a year ago

London and over UK


"Random ponderings from total newbies to the scene (just never had the opportunity to explore until recently)…who is open with people about swinging/playing/ethical non-monogamy? Or do you prefer to keep is discreet?

We live in a small part of the world where everyone knows everyone, so we are bound to be “found out” at some point. If that happened we wouldn’t be bothered, but at the same time we aren’t exactly shouting it from the rooftops. Thoughts? "

Am totally private about it - it actually is part of the turn on . Most my friends think i lead dull, quiet life - and i encourage them to think that.

If they only knew that i had spend the weekend with a couple indulging in some MFM fun!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I relate to this! In real life I am sensible and boring, and seem very ‘vanilla’…and to an extent I have been until J & I got together and it unlocked that door in my head that led us to Fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/07/22 21:17:09]

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By *tarburst babydollMan
over a year ago

Dingwall

Being from the same part of the world as you OP who stay in a small town we ended up getting outed by a meet which is a bit of a long story for here. After a while we got over the fact that everyone in the town knew about our preferences. We just thought OK we are not doing anything illegal, we are not ashamed of our lifestyle choice which is why we have no problem having face pics on our profile.

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I keep it to myself and admit that gives me a little kick too.

There are a couple of people in my life who know but I’m very close to them and they aren’t exactly vanilla themselves…

… other people in my life think I’ve been celibate for 20 years!

Some would be shocked, some would look down on it and me they wouldn’t get it, some would think it gave them a free pass! So all in I prefer to keep to myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t advertise it but also don’t care if anybody finds out

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By *ysteriousgirl97Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

A few of my close friends know (and also my boss from work, told him d*unk on a night out by accident ) but I really wouldn't want to be outed to those I didn't want to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it's not the sort of thing you would openly advertise to wider society.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Some of our friends and family know. It's not a close guarded secret, we don't mind people knowing but it's not something we openly advertise without context.

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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral

It's a story we are not looking to share anytime soon but (like the OP said) if word did get out we would deal with it.

Our kids would probably find it hard to understand, everybody else though could GTF if they weren't happy.

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By *ee And MikeCouple
over a year ago

Cannock


"Some of our friends and family know. It's not a close guarded secret, we don't mind people knowing but it's not something we openly advertise without context."

We are the same, my mother in law knows about our cuckolding lifestyle and a few close friends. To be honest no-one seems that bothered these days we find, it’s a lot more open world than it was, say 20 years ago.

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By *mizhereMan
over a year ago

bridgend and surrounds

With my ex our family and friends knew but we didn’t broadcast it

Our choice how we enjoyed our sex lives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone asked I would tell them, but I wouldn’t bring it up in everyday conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people know I swing(my kids, friends etc) I'm not hiding what I do but I don't blurt it from the tree tops. If people find out and don't like it then that's their problem do deal with not mine. I'm having the time of my life and will continue to do so

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/07/22 07:26:57]

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By *mMrbrightsideMan
over a year ago

wakefield

A few very close friends know I swing and I even introduced a couple who Iv known for years. Mentioned it on a d*unken night out and to my surprise wanted to know everything as they were contemplating it for months. They’ve been swinging for about a year now (no we haven’t) I’d rather stay good friends

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By *pslad99Man
over a year ago

pinewood

I keep it private as you get judged you know what people are like when they don’t understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few of my friends know about this, but it’s kept private from family and work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not very open. 2 people know. One friend who doesn’t judge and laughs when we talk about anything.

Another who thinks it’s morally wrong. and that’s when I stopped wanting to be open about stuff with friends. So I’m pretty private about sexy stuff outside of fab.

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By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

We’re quite open about it, not with family, but if a colleague asks what I did on weekend, they’ll get an honest answer. The only draw back is some friends (male) seem to think we are now sexually fair game and get a bit too overfamiliar with Ms Ticklish

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove


"I’m not very open. 2 people know. One friend who doesn’t judge and laughs when we talk about anything.

Another who thinks it’s morally wrong. and that’s when I stopped wanting to be open about stuff with friends. So I’m pretty private about sexy stuff outside of fab. "

Ooc what are your friend's moral objections?

At my husband's work there was a couple that was openly swinging, there was a fair amount of snide remarks and a couple people making fun of them and being hostile, which we found a bit shocking. This was a few years ago now but Brighton is meant to be progressive... I feel concern for people in some more traditional parts of the UK.

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By *ornycouplepzCouple
over a year ago

here and there

We are very open most friends and family know ,we don't care if we are judged or not .at the end of the day life is too short to worry about other people who may or may not like your life choices .and to be fair most people that we have spoke to and thay dislike it are normally the ones who are jealous because thay are not brave enough to try it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We keep it private, we don't even discuss our own sex life with friends. We also don't put our actual postcode as a location so we don't show up in local updates. If we saw someone we knew in a club we'd say hello, it wouldn't be a problem, we're there for the same reason. But what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. "

What she said !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A few of my close friends know (and also my boss from work, told him d*unk on a night out by accident ) but I really wouldn't want to be outed to those I didn't want to know. "

I hope your boss gave you a rise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m not very open. 2 people know. One friend who doesn’t judge and laughs when we talk about anything.

Another who thinks it’s morally wrong. and that’s when I stopped wanting to be open about stuff with friends. So I’m pretty private about sexy stuff outside of fab.

Ooc what are your friend's moral objections?

At my husband's work there was a couple that was openly swinging, there was a fair amount of snide remarks and a couple people making fun of them and being hostile, which we found a bit shocking. This was a few years ago now but Brighton is meant to be progressive... I feel concern for people in some more traditional parts of the UK.

"

That’s it, the snide remarks. And their voice of distaste. I’m fine with opinions, but nastiness is not what we ask for, is it, and yes. Trying to make fun. (Trying )

Done people refuse to ask enough questions and just push their own opinions first. I think that’s what the problem is a lot of the times.

My other open minded friend? I get questions and they listen to me. We’d all like more friend like that, wouldn’t we?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

People are much more open to it now days, it’s almost mainstream in young people etc.

You’re better of not using wired labels people outside this community don’t understand , sharing is a term I’ve used on regular dates before that people do understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't talk about our private life but we don't hide or sneak about.

If we saw someone we knew on here or at a social/club we'd chat like we were at a pub.

We'd never mention that we saw them to anyone and expect the same.

G and P xx

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I keep it private ,I'd never want people from work to know tbh .I dont have any immediate family left ,so that wouldn't be an issue.I like it being my little secret .

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By *i_guy_sloughMan
over a year ago

Langley

We don’t advertise it by bringing it up in conversation but it’s not something we are ashamed of and try to hide either. If someone recognised us from our swinging it wouldn’t be a problem.

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By *angbangcouple6969Man
over a year ago

Walsall

We don't hide what we do because we love our lives and each other.

We have been recognised many times from here and our friends and families all know.

It's nothing to be ashamed of but obviously we don't have a banner outside our home. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to keep discreet about what we do

Because of family! We don’t know what some reactions would be

A few close friends know that’s all

But we have involved these close friends to keep them quiet haha

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

I don't walk into a room a start announcing it. However most mates know and due to someone asking me about how the swinging was going while my mother was in the room, she knows too lol The issue I have when people find out is sometimes feel the need to explain myself and what it's about as alot of vanillia people are still ignorant to what swinging really is and just assume I will drop my knickers for anyone...like some of them do at the end of a Friday night out. They hate it when that's pointed out lol

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By *ornycouplepzCouple
over a year ago

here and there


"I don't walk into a room a start announcing it. However most mates know and due to someone asking me about how the swinging was going while my mother was in the room, she knows too lol The issue I have when people find out is sometimes feel the need to explain myself and what it's about as alot of vanillia

people are still ignorant to what swinging really is and just assume I will drop my knickers for anyone...like some of them do at the end of a Friday night out. They hate it when that's pointed out lol "

My auntie told my mum,and ever since she found out she would always ask how our.night went at the club lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Openly promote it at work. Haven’t told any close family other than my sister as they’re very reserved but would love to be 100% open about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It’s so interesting reading other peoples’ thoughts and experiences around this. I (F) have a close female friend who I talk to about this side of me, she is on Fab as well with her partner, and I love having someone who ‘gets it’. I’d definitely agree that the world in general is a bit more accepting - to me I feel that it’s sex, it’s fun, and it’s also meeting like-minded people if nothing else…

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By *goodlengthMan
over a year ago

near Trowbridge

I like that it’s my secret to all but a very few. The separation between my normal (highly respectable) life and my swinging life makes it all the more exciting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Being from the same part of the world as you OP who stay in a small town we ended up getting outed by a meet which is a bit of a long story for here. After a while we got over the fact that everyone in the town knew about our preferences. We just thought OK we are not doing anything illegal, we are not ashamed of our lifestyle choice which is why we have no problem having face pics on our profile. "

We haven’t met anyone in person yet, but this is the kind of thing that worries me - I just wish people would be more open-minded because at the end of the day it is just some fun that’s not doing anyone any harm x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like that it’s my secret to all but a very few. The separation between my normal (highly respectable) life and my swinging life makes it all the more exciting. "

I (mrs) feel a bit like this - on the face of it I am so boring and sensible, and have been called frigid in the past because I have never just jumped into bed with everyone with a pulse lol. It’s a bit of a thrill knowing that actually, I’m far from frigid and boring and only a select few are ever going to find this out. And my partner J will always get the best of me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't walk into a room a start announcing it. However most mates know and due to someone asking me about how the swinging was going while my mother was in the room, she knows too lol The issue I have when people find out is sometimes feel the need to explain myself and what it's about as alot of vanillia

people are still ignorant to what swinging really is and just assume I will drop my knickers for anyone...like some of them do at the end of a Friday night out. They hate it when that's pointed out lol

My auntie told my mum,and ever since she found out she would always ask how our.night went at the club lol"

Haha - that’s brilliant! She is probably curious as well

F (mrs)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't walk into a room a start announcing it. However most mates know and due to someone asking me about how the swinging was going while my mother was in the room, she knows too lol The issue I have when people find out is sometimes feel the need to explain myself and what it's about as alot of vanillia people are still ignorant to what swinging really is and just assume I will drop my knickers for anyone...like some of them do at the end of a Friday night out. They hate it when that's pointed out lol "

Exactly this - I’m not sure why people think swinging is the same slutty behaviour as fucking random people at the end of a night out. To me it’s far more classy than that, and no - they don’t like it when you point it out to them haha

F (Mrs)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People are much more open to it now days, it’s almost mainstream in young people etc.

You’re better of not using wired labels people outside this community don’t understand , sharing is a term I’ve used on regular dates before that people do understand "

I like the “ethical non monogamy” term seems to be used a bit more - I never really knew it was a thing and wish that I did before now. I was chatting to someone there who suggested that the lifestyle was taught as part of sex and relationship education to young people, perhaps people would then grow up to form more meaningful relationships instead on confirming to traditional norms that we are conditioned to believe in (in my case - meet a nice man and settle down to have 2.4 children - it just never felt right and I never felt happy or fulfilled. Until I met J, and suddenly everything makes sense)

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london


"Being from the same part of the world as you OP who stay in a small town we ended up getting outed by a meet which is a bit of a long story for here. After a while we got over the fact that everyone in the town knew about our preferences. We just thought OK we are not doing anything illegal, we are not ashamed of our lifestyle choice which is why we have no problem having face pics on our profile. "

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"I don't walk into a room a start announcing it. However most mates know and due to someone asking me about how the swinging was going while my mother was in the room, she knows too lol The issue I have when people find out is sometimes feel the need to explain myself and what it's about as alot of vanillia people are still ignorant to what swinging really is and just assume I will drop my knickers for anyone...like some of them do at the end of a Friday night out. They hate it when that's pointed out lol

Exactly this - I’m not sure why people think swinging is the same slutty behaviour as fucking random people at the end of a night out. To me it’s far more classy than that, and no - they don’t like it when you point it out to them haha

F (Mrs)"

People are conditioned to see heterosexual monogamy and morality as the norm, as it represents the traditional family unit and Christian attitudes to pleasure. Consequently anything that deviates from that represents a threat to established norms, which is scary, and most people instinctively attack or mock that which scares them.

It’s probably the case for most people that I’d they actually find out anything to do with the reality they’d want to participate themselves…but could never be brave enough to step beyond the traditional.

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By *tarburst babydollMan
over a year ago

Dingwall


"Being from the same part of the world as you OP who stay in a small town we ended up getting outed by a meet which is a bit of a long story for here. After a while we got over the fact that everyone in the town knew about our preferences. We just thought OK we are not doing anything illegal, we are not ashamed of our lifestyle choice which is why we have no problem having face pics on our profile.

We haven’t met anyone in person yet, but this is the kind of thing that worries me - I just wish people would be more open-minded because at the end of the day it is just some fun that’s not doing anyone any harm x"

People are a lot more open minded about it now than years ago but I still think that up in this are we are well behind other areas in this regard

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't walk into a room a start announcing it. However most mates know and due to someone asking me about how the swinging was going while my mother was in the room, she knows too lol The issue I have when people find out is sometimes feel the need to explain myself and what it's about as alot of vanillia people are still ignorant to what swinging really is and just assume I will drop my knickers for anyone...like some of them do at the end of a Friday night out. They hate it when that's pointed out lol

Exactly this - I’m not sure why people think swinging is the same slutty behaviour as fucking random people at the end of a night out. To me it’s far more classy than that, and no - they don’t like it when you point it out to them haha

F (Mrs)

People are conditioned to see heterosexual monogamy and morality as the norm, as it represents the traditional family unit and Christian attitudes to pleasure. Consequently anything that deviates from that represents a threat to established norms, which is scary, and most people instinctively attack or mock that which scares them.

It’s probably the case for most people that I’d they actually find out anything to do with the reality they’d want to participate themselves…but could never be brave enough to step beyond the traditional."

You’ve absolutely hit the nail on the head there - people should just let themselves be even a little bit hedonistic and then they would be so much happier lol

F (Mrs)

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

We've been swinging for over 25 years. We're open-ish about it.

We started swinging cos my wife sent me to see one of her freinds after a girls night out and that started it off. So my wifes freinds new straight away lol. We then got busted by my friend (who saw photos on our pc that they shouldn't have but shit happens). He's totally vanilla but knows a few of his mates are swingers and gives zero shits. My wifes work freinds know cos we where seen entering a club and questions where asked (and they dont care). Then family found out (one to many vauge weeknds away gave it away) and that was that. We don't advertise it, don't talk about it with family but we dont hide it either. No one cares but we are lucky enough to have freinds and family who are open minded and dont give a hoot. What we do in private and with whom is our business, not theirs and they respect that and if it does bother someone, that's their issue, not ours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We keep it private, we don't even discuss our own sex life with friends. We also don't put our actual postcode as a location so we don't show up in local updates. If we saw someone we knew in a club we'd say hello, it wouldn't be a problem, we're there for the same reason. But what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. "

100% agree with what you have written

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We've been swinging for over 25 years. We're open-ish about it.

We started swinging cos my wife sent me to see one of her freinds after a girls night out and that started it off. So my wifes freinds new straight away lol. We then got busted by my friend (who saw photos on our pc that they shouldn't have but shit happens). He's totally vanilla but knows a few of his mates are swingers and gives zero shits. My wifes work freinds know cos we where seen entering a club and questions where asked (and they dont care). Then family found out (one to many vauge weeknds away gave it away) and that was that. We don't advertise it, don't talk about it with family but we dont hide it either. No one cares but we are lucky enough to have freinds and family who are open minded and dont give a hoot. What we do in private and with whom is our business, not theirs and they respect that and if it does bother someone, that's their issue, not ours. "

That’s the ideal situation, isn’t it? With no one giving a shit - live and let live, and all that. In the part of the country where we are, it’s a very small world and people on the whole are not very open minded. The scene and anyone being involved in it would be considered a scandal haha. It’s still some sort of scandal when someone comes out - my ex MIL refused to be served by someone in a local shop who was gay, that’s what we are dealing with….!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We keep it private, we don't even discuss our own sex life with friends. We also don't put our actual postcode as a location so we don't show up in local updates. If we saw someone we knew in a club we'd say hello, it wouldn't be a problem, we're there for the same reason. But what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.

100% agree with what you have written "

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been a “talk about sex” person until I met J (Mr) and started connecting with like-minded people. I feel comfortable talking about fantasies and reliving things that have happened in the bedroom. However as far as my friends not on the scene go, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom too

F (Mrs)

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman
over a year ago

LEEDS

Some friends know I swing however they are swingers too... we met before finding each other on here/in clubs.

Most people think I'm boring as hell and sit at home all weekend crocheting and stopped inviting me out to the pub (good cos i was sick of saying "nah ive got a blanket that needs finishing" when i was really going to a club, orgy etc). That's the way I prefer to keep it as my private life is well private.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some friends know I swing however they are swingers too... we met before finding each other on here/in clubs.

Most people think I'm boring as hell and sit at home all weekend crocheting and stopped inviting me out to the pub (good cos i was sick of saying "nah ive got a blanket that needs finishing" when i was really going to a club, orgy etc). That's the way I prefer to keep it as my private life is well private."

In all honesty, I would rather spend my time with like-minded people in the scene than sitting in a pub throwing drinks down my neck. I much prefer connecting with people and having a laugh and if it leads to consensual sex all round then even better lol. I don’t really get asked on nights out any more because I always say no thanks. And it doesn’t bother me. If people think I’m boring then so be it lol

F (Mrs)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We keep it private, but would nice if we could flaunt it x be easier to find people x

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman
over a year ago

LEEDS


"Some friends know I swing however they are swingers too... we met before finding each other on here/in clubs.

Most people think I'm boring as hell and sit at home all weekend crocheting and stopped inviting me out to the pub (good cos i was sick of saying "nah ive got a blanket that needs finishing" when i was really going to a club, orgy etc). That's the way I prefer to keep it as my private life is well private.

In all honesty, I would rather spend my time with like-minded people in the scene than sitting in a pub throwing drinks down my neck. I much prefer connecting with people and having a laugh and if it leads to consensual sex all round then even better lol. I don’t really get asked on nights out any more because I always say no thanks. And it doesn’t bother me. If people think I’m boring then so be it lol

F (Mrs)"

I like our kind of boring

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some friends know I swing however they are swingers too... we met before finding each other on here/in clubs.

Most people think I'm boring as hell and sit at home all weekend crocheting and stopped inviting me out to the pub (good cos i was sick of saying "nah ive got a blanket that needs finishing" when i was really going to a club, orgy etc). That's the way I prefer to keep it as my private life is well private.

In all honesty, I would rather spend my time with like-minded people in the scene than sitting in a pub throwing drinks down my neck. I much prefer connecting with people and having a laugh and if it leads to consensual sex all round then even better lol. I don’t really get asked on nights out any more because I always say no thanks. And it doesn’t bother me. If people think I’m boring then so be it lol

F (Mrs)

I like our kind of boring "

Haha - yeah I reckon our kind of boring is absolutely the best

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By *exandthesuburbans83Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

We are selective with who we tell mostly because of how people may react or may gossip with others that we may not want knowing. That said, we do joke about it with people who don't know as its kinda kinky and one or two friends have asked us so we then told them but we don't go out shouting about it. Plus, friends that do know are quite intrigued

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The door

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

No one knows apart from my Fab friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think being single it's judged differently than couples who swing!

My best friend knows as I always inform her if I have a meet etc for safety reason as you never know, she says its not for her but kinda of accepts my life choices.

A couple of close male friends know and find it fascinating what I get up to.

However I d*unkenly told my sister bits of my swing experiences who told my mum who now rarely talks to me, I have a very religious disapproving family.

It's my life my choices, too old to care what others think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t talk about it but if someone found me here hey ho,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are pretty open, faces on profile, wouldn't deny it if asked and my friends are all aware. Some of my family might be a little shocked but they'd get over it lol!

In general we are like us or lump us sort of people, not too bothered about the opinions and judgments of small minded people. I pity them, for the excitment they miss out on really

Charlotte x

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By *6geezWoman
over a year ago

Wantage

I was outed by a guy I turned down from here.

He told family members and close friends by posting it on my social media.

At first I felt embarrassed until a close vanilla friend said "own it girl"

After my initial red face, I thought, do you know what, I will. Never looked back.

People will judge you have having a crap top on or a colour that doesn't match.

I just think bollocks to them now. Don't like my lifestyle don't be in my life.

My family all speak to me and the real friends I have are still around. If anything the shallow ones I don't miss anyway.

he did me a favour

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By *ireIce2019Couple
over a year ago

Brighton

Totally not, was thinking about a swinger tattoo or something but I’m not sure there is a symbol or swinging

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No one knows apart from my Fab friends. "

I love it how you’ve used the term Fab Friends, that’s how we feel about people we’ve connected with on here as well

F (Mrs)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think being single it's judged differently than couples who swing!

My best friend knows as I always inform her if I have a meet etc for safety reason as you never know, she says its not for her but kinda of accepts my life choices.

A couple of close male friends know and find it fascinating what I get up to.

However I d*unkenly told my sister bits of my swing experiences who told my mum who now rarely talks to me, I have a very religious disapproving family.

It's my life my choices, too old to care what others think.

"

That’s a shame that family disapprove like that. But at the end of the day, as long as you are happy and having fun that is the main thing. Life is far too short. I never even realised that singles could be involved in the scene until J (Mr) and I started to explore together, my eyes really have been opened and I’m amazed swinging is just not generally widely more accepted

F (Mrs)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We keep it private, but would nice if we could flaunt it x be easier to find people x"

100% agree with you there - would be nice if it still wasn’t seen as so taboo.

I was chatting to someone else who felt that ethical non-monogamy etc should be part of sex ed in schools, so people felt more comfortable exploring and expressing their sexuality, and they said they felt this would lead to people being happier overall, and relationships being more fulfilling. I think they made a great point, actually

F (Mrs)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We are pretty open, faces on profile, wouldn't deny it if asked and my friends are all aware. Some of my family might be a little shocked but they'd get over it lol!

In general we are like us or lump us sort of people, not too bothered about the opinions and judgments of small minded people. I pity them, for the excitment they miss out on really

Charlotte x"

You have very much the same attitude as John and I - and we were actually talking recently about the fact that judgmental people are in fact missing out on a whole other world of fun haha. On the face of it, I seem very goody two shoes, boring and straight laced…and I suppose part of the thrill for me is that I’m very much not, and am just selective about who gets to see that side of me

Fiona x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was outed by a guy I turned down from here.

He told family members and close friends by posting it on my social media.

At first I felt embarrassed until a close vanilla friend said "own it girl"

After my initial red face, I thought, do you know what, I will. Never looked back.

People will judge you have having a crap top on or a colour that doesn't match.

I just think bollocks to them now. Don't like my lifestyle don't be in my life.

My family all speak to me and the real friends I have are still around. If anything the shallow ones I don't miss anyway.

he did me a favour "

What a horrible experience, but that’s absolutely the right attitude to have. John and I have talked about what happens if we are outed, which is highly likely where we live. And both of us have said we will just shrug our shoulders and carry on regardless…we would feel sorry for these people who are actually missing out on a whole other world of fun, as I replied to Charlotte earlier on in the thread. If people wanted to try and make a fool of us on social media, crack on - these people will end up going back to their sad wee lives, finding someone else to pick on, while we carry on having a happy and fulfilled life and relationship… love your pics by the way

Fiona x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Totally not, was thinking about a swinger tattoo or something but I’m not sure there is a symbol or swinging "

Funnily enough, I (F, Mrs) looked into this and there is a swingers symbol - can’t attach a pic but do a Google search for swinger symbol swing, or something, it should come up. Apparently things like upside down pineapples, flamingoes and even garden gnomes are all symbols, too lol. My eyes have been well and truly opened!

Fiona (Mrs)x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both have friends that know what we do but we don't tell everyone but if it came a day and someone asked us we wouldn't lie about it.

Curvy

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By *aughty2yorksCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

A couple of close friends know what we do, but other than that it’s mainly people we’ve met through here and stayed friends with x

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By *untime1969Couple
over a year ago

Huddersfield

I Mr don't tell anyone,not ashamed and if anyone wanted to know if tell them, it's just not something I tell people,Mrs however has a few friends she tells, and is quite specific, what happened what went where etc not who or names etc,! But we tend to go to clubs far away so it's easy to be discrete!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quiet for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We both have friends that know what we do but we don't tell everyone but if it came a day and someone asked us we wouldn't lie about it.

Curvy"

Yeah, I think that would be the same for us - if someone asked, we wouldn’t lie about it either.

F x

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

I'm not shy about it, but if the conversation ever goes that way in vanilla life I always give the warning "I'll never lie about anything - just be sure you really want to know the answers before asking the questions..." kind of puts most people off!

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By *rcadian110Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

We are open about it as, for us, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We are a loving couple who adore each other and help others where we can. Our sex life doesn't change that. I'm proud of my wife and how stunning she is. If people are offended by our choices the they don't need us to be their friends. We are who we are and if that's not for you then have a great life without us in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We both have friends that know what we do but we don't tell everyone but if it came a day and someone asked us we wouldn't lie about it.

Curvy

Yeah, I think that would be the same for us - if someone asked, we wouldn’t lie about it either.

F x"

We've never yet after 5 years of being active, been asked if we have ever done anything remotely close to the things we have been involved in.

The mere thought that anyone would,fills with dread. Honestly don't know what we'd say??? (probably quickly try changing the subject to hopefully distract)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm not shy about it, but if the conversation ever goes that way in vanilla life I always give the warning "I'll never lie about anything - just be sure you really want to know the answers before asking the questions..." kind of puts most people off!"

That’s a very eloquent way to tell people to f**k off and mind their own business - love it!

F (Mrs)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We both have friends that know what we do but we don't tell everyone but if it came a day and someone asked us we wouldn't lie about it.

Curvy

Yeah, I think that would be the same for us - if someone asked, we wouldn’t lie about it either.

F x

We've never yet after 5 years of being active, been asked if we have ever done anything remotely close to the things we have been involved in.

The mere thought that anyone would,fills with dread. Honestly don't know what we'd say??? (probably quickly try changing the subject to hopefully distract) "

Thing for us, living where we do, it’s a very small world - it’s highly possible we will be outed either through people snooping on here or through meets. So it’s always at the back of our mind how we would deal with it, I suppose. I’d care a lot less if we lived in a more urban and metropolitan part of the world

F (Mrs)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We are open about it as, for us, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We are a loving couple who adore each other and help others where we can. Our sex life doesn't change that. I'm proud of my wife and how stunning she is. If people are offended by our choices the they don't need us to be their friends. We are who we are and if that's not for you then have a great life without us in it"

That’s a great attitude to have

F (Mrs)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't broadcast it to anyone, but I'm aware of couples local to me, and we have spoken occasionally on here. Don't think I would be impressed if people close to me knew

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By *exandthesuburbans83Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE


"Totally not, was thinking about a swinger tattoo or something but I’m not sure there is a symbol or swinging

Funnily enough, I (F, Mrs) looked into this and there is a swingers symbol - can’t attach a pic but do a Google search for swinger symbol swing, or something, it should come up. Apparently things like upside down pineapples, flamingoes and even garden gnomes are all symbols, too lol. My eyes have been well and truly opened!

Fiona (Mrs)x"

We have pampass plant vases in our porch and pineapples everywhere. Decided to own it rather than hide it. Life is to short to not enjoy your own skin. Even got jewellery and clothing that has pineapples on to show it off

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By *kmygfCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton


"We keep it private, we don't even discuss our own sex life with friends. We also don't put our actual postcode as a location so we don't show up in local updates. If we saw someone we knew in a club we'd say hello, it wouldn't be a problem, we're there for the same reason. But what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. "

We are exactly the same, even down to putting a different postcode. We would be mortified if anyone we knew found out. We are very private people, and do worry about people knowing.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Our family and friends know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Totally not, was thinking about a swinger tattoo or something but I’m not sure there is a symbol or swinging

Funnily enough, I (F, Mrs) looked into this and there is a swingers symbol - can’t attach a pic but do a Google search for swinger symbol swing, or something, it should come up. Apparently things like upside down pineapples, flamingoes and even garden gnomes are all symbols, too lol. My eyes have been well and truly opened!

Fiona (Mrs)x

We have pampass plant vases in our porch and pineapples everywhere. Decided to own it rather than hide it. Life is to short to not enjoy your own skin. Even got jewellery and clothing that has pineapples on to show it off"

I love this! I only recently found out about the pineapples thing, I may get a tattoo incorporating it

F (Mrs)

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