FabSwingers.com forum: Ghosting

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

Arrange a meet after a long time of chatting, photo exchanges etc etc and then in the immediate hours before losing contact and discovering they’ve blocked your number. So in short, I’ve sent over my very best wanking material, they’ve seemingly got what they want and I’m left wondering what the hell I’ve done.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dventurous biMan
over a year ago

tesside

More fool them!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sp6969Man
over a year ago

stratford

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening? "

Don’t let them get you down you are gorgeous and it’s their loss x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agpie and RavenMan
over a year ago

Leicester

The real question is; have you learnt your lesson?

Frank

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening? "

Do you mean explicit pictures when you say wanking material?.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't do sex chat or send sex pics before I've met them in person.

They had a wank and have no need to meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

I've lost count how many times it's happened to me, I sometimes think it was their plan from the start, just wind up an old man

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems to happen a lot, unfortunately it’s just the way some people are, I just forget about it and move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening? "

Sorry you've had this experience.

Don't send your very best wanking material. They haven't seemingly got what they wanted they *have* got it.

We found this out the hard way early on. It's why we don't do 'sexy' chat or send explicit pictures.

Hope you have a better experience in the future

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

They got what they wanted and they're done.

Don't engage in sex chat or photo swapping before you meet them x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening?

Do you mean explicit pictures when you say wanking material?.

Yes but not with that being the sole intention but more as a ‘get to know one another’ type thing(sounds slightly bizarre I know but it is a swinging site I suppose). I’m not actually bothered that they have them, they’re really no different to what I have on my profile but perhaps I’ll hold off in future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itsAndTaffCouple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

You haven't done anything other than fulfill their needs

Lots on here have no intentions of meeting they just like the thrill of the chase and want some new material to wank to which out profiles provide

If they find someone to chat and exchange photos with while having a wank it's like they've won the lottery

You just have to move on and try and get a tough skin so this stuff bounces off of you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Like others have said I don't do sex chat or photos before I meet anyone. I learnt early on that some men on here are just looking for wank material and nothing else.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening?

Do you mean explicit pictures when you say wanking material?.

Personally I think it's a bit foolish to send pics and engage in sex chat to a stranger at the end of a keyboard. I reveal nothing until we have met face to face.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady GoodwitchWoman
over a year ago

Witchery wish lane

Yes I've had that, many times, I don't send wanking material now, there really are some sad arseholes on here lots fake accounts! Don't let it wind you up, they are not worth it, tbh this site i don't trust anyone, take care and good luck xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I've had that, many times, I don't send wanking material now, there really are some sad arseholes on here lots fake accounts! Don't let it wind you up, they are not worth it, tbh this site i don't trust anyone, take care and good luck xx"

Why are they sad arseholes? Wanking is fun. If someone sends them wanking material they should enjoy wanking over it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xplorerKMan
over a year ago

Stafford

It’s the worse feeling. All of my meets have been through Kik tbh, I get stood up and ghosted on here all too often…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I hate people who ghost. There's no need for it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes unfortunately this is a very common occurrence!! I quite often chat and we get on and then at the last minute they state I’m not their type. This site is full of oddity and really can test your character.

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening? "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been 'ghosted' quite a few times on here. After building a rapport with someone and seeming to have a lot of things in common, to then have them disappear is quite a letdown. Especially when they seem to be genuinely interested in meeting up. But, I'm still here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Don't send your best wanking material x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't send your best wanking material x"

Don't send any wanking material!

Those who actually meet in real life will want to do exactly that.

All your doing is attracting fantasist, dreamers and pic collectors atm xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

We never send pictures. We have a few on the profile, but nothing we would call wank fodder! If they want to see either of us in the raw, they meet us. We have had conversations that have led nowhere, but we accept that we may not have been quite what they were looking for.

We did used to meet single guys, but if we didn't send explicit shots, most melted away. We did meet some, the problem we found was after a social, they kept the convo going, asking for pictures prior to a meet. We only did this once, the guy blocked us.

Never give out photos, you have no idea what they are doing with them, we found Innuendos pictures from the guy who tricked us, on another swingers site.

Anyone wants to see what Innuendo is like all sexied up? Chat room, Saturday nights! (Bi-Directing room normally!)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *romagefraisWoman
over a year ago

Sunderland

Yeah, too many people have no intention of meeting up and just use these sites like a free OF. Now I don't like to have more than a couple of conversations with someone before meeting up. I find the more time spent messaging the less chance you have of meeting them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

they are sad little wankers..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are they sad arseholes? Wanking is fun. If someone sends them wanking material they should enjoy wanking over it.

Because they are wasting peoples time that actually want to meet. You can just view photos and videos on here without pretending you want to meet with someone. Why lead people on and get their hopes up. It's sad and pathetic behaviour.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening?

Do you mean explicit pictures when you say wanking material?.

It'll probably make you more cautious going forward to try to avoid further disappointment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

As a woman on here I've found you have 2 tactics.

Firstly, you can treat everyone like a lying, cheating asshole, and the people you want are repelled by that attitude.

Or you treat everyone like a decent human, and occasionally the ones that are reprehensible, ghost you.

Its a conundrum OP.

Don't let them get you down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gfbMan
over a year ago

thorne

Nothing wrong with bit of excitement before meet can sex chat and still turn up for a meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely baffles me, I thought that would add to the anticipation and intensity of finally meeting after all the build up / building the connection between the 2 of you. Why go through all that trouble for a wank when you could be meeting in the flesh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for everyone’s advice and input! Lesson learnt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *6geezWoman
over a year ago

Wantage

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening? "

Many oh so many times. Then you get guys asking why I take no shit.

Out of every 10 guys on here. 8 are chat wankers, daydreamers or pic collectors.

And then they question why they have a bad rep

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Don't send your best wanking material x

Don't send any wanking material!

Those who actually meet in real life will want to do exactly that.

All your doing is attracting fantasist, dreamers and pic collectors atm xx"

I've never sent other pics to anyone before meeting and it's worked for me.

I find it's the decent guys who don't ask for more pics, those that do just prove that they aren't for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lan100100Man
over a year ago

Preston

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening?

Many oh so many times. Then you get guys asking why I take no shit.

Out of every 10 guys on here. 8 are chat wankers, daydreamers or pic collectors.

And then they question why they have a bad rep

Exactly ruins it for genuine men that would love a meet and get to know someone.

They have let a good thing go

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not one for ranting and perhaps I’m just being a sensitive soul but I find being ghosted even on here(as oppose the dating world) so rude and I’d even say upsetting.

This has happened 2 or 3 times now and makes me wonder whether that was their intention all along.

Do people have the same experience and if not, how do you prevent it happening?

Many oh so many times. Then you get guys asking why I take no shit.

Out of every 10 guys on here. 8 are chat wankers, daydreamers or pic collectors.

And then they question why they have a bad rep

Exactly ruins it for genuine men that would love a meet and get to know someone.

They have let a good thing go "

I've recently been ghosted so not just mindless guys doing it some females too, well assuming they were actually females.

Decent guys just don't get a chance on here because of idiots.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this has happened to me as well , put me off meeting ...like frustrated is putting it lightly ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or you get the chatting back and forth .. then all talk of a social meet, and then boom … blocked lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab can be a frustrating place. I try and wean out the time wasters with a no sexting/pic swapping rule. However in my first month back I still had three socials cancelled/ghosted. But if they can’t take time for a coffee it tells me we aren’t compatible.

There are good people and guys on fab you’ve just got to sift.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iredhandMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Unfortunately it’s all part of life on fab and any other online contact medium. The internet allows people (men, women and ‘couples’) to create a profile that could be a complete work of fiction to gain the attention they seek, while retaining anonymity. In engaging in conversation with them and sharing your own information, there is a degree of risk involved. Unless you’re completely comfortable sharing any information (incl. pictures) it is probably best not to. While I’ve been fortunate in meeting genuine people on here over time, there have been a few timewasters too. It is difficult to identify them to be fair, so if it turns out that they are, so be it. Judging by your pics you shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone genuine sooner rather than later.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've experienced being ghosted IRL several times. It's quite frustrating as you are left wondering if you said or did anything wrong even when you haven't. I usually take the view that it's a reflection of the other person rather than anything to do with myself. I am pretty self-aware and know if I've said or done something wrong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rblue44Man
over a year ago

Maidstone

To be honest it’s fab. I have been ghosted for any 121 meets on here sad really.the only genuine meets I get is from the party scene. So now if I want to meet I always suggest at a party. I say this with confidence having been on the site for over 5 years

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree OP, had it done to me loads of times and yes it is upsetting especially if you haven't done anything that would cause offence in the first place...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This afternoon I was blocked by a very rude woman because I didn't get her sarcasm, told me I didn't have an effing clue...pfffffttt.

This is after 2 weeks of chat, swapping numbers (her idea)

Eeee, some people eh?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Just be patient don't rush to meet it's a great way to w++d out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread