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Timewaster

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By *unner6969 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bicester

Another day, another no show = another timewaster.

I know it is par for the course… but what do they get out of this? Really curious to know why you would spend literally hours ‘chatting’ on the internet, agree to meet up and then go cold, no turn up, no response?

Some very sick people out there?

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By *atentHeelsCouple
over a year ago

Salford

Because many single guys just like to get off talking about it virtually, blow their load then that’s that. They should stick to talking fantasies rather than meets to avoid wasting everyone’s time.

It was countless instances of this which is why we no longer meet anyone off here unless they come to see us at a club. That way we’re not left disappointed when they don’t turn up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another day, another no show = another timewaster.

I know it is par for the course… but what do they get out of this? Really curious to know why you would spend literally hours ‘chatting’ on the internet, agree to meet up and then go cold, no turn up, no response?

Some very sick people out there?"

Sorry to hear that mate!

I’ve experienced this too.

Seems to be more and more prevalent on here for some reason.

Funny thing is… I never used get that years ago…

Especially before smartphones when we used chatlines..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another day, another no show = another timewaster.

I know it is par for the course… but what do they get out of this? Really curious to know why you would spend literally hours ‘chatting’ on the internet, agree to meet up and then go cold, no turn up, no response?

Some very sick people out there?

Sorry to hear that mate!

I’ve experienced this too.

Seems to be more and more prevalent on here for some reason.

Funny thing is… I never used get that years ago…

Especially before smartphones when we used chatlines.."

Used chatlines. Met tons genuine one's off there. Many on the same day in the evening.

Even the lines have hit the dreaded wall. Many many blaggers/teasers/timewasters.

Like you say never had this problem before the smartphone era.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another day, another no show = another timewaster.

I know it is par for the course… but what do they get out of this? Really curious to know why you would spend literally hours ‘chatting’ on the internet, agree to meet up and then go cold, no turn up, no response?

Some very sick people out there?

Sorry to hear that mate!

I’ve experienced this too.

Seems to be more and more prevalent on here for some reason.

Funny thing is… I never used get that years ago…

Especially before smartphones when we used chatlines..

Used chatlines. Met tons genuine one's off there. Many on the same day in the evening.

Even the lines have hit the dreaded wall. Many many blaggers/teasers/timewasters.

Like you say never had this problem before the smartphone era.

"

Totally

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By *unner6969 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bicester


"Because many single guys just like to get off talking about it virtually, blow their load then that’s that. They should stick to talking fantasies rather than meets to avoid wasting everyone’s time.

It was countless instances of this which is why we no longer meet anyone off here unless they come to see us at a club. That way we’re not left disappointed when they don’t turn up. "

I was (supposed to be) meeting the female half of a couple in an open-relationship. Nothing to do with single men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because many single guys just like to get off talking about it virtually, blow their load then that’s that. They should stick to talking fantasies rather than meets to avoid wasting everyone’s time.

It was countless instances of this which is why we no longer meet anyone off here unless they come to see us at a club. That way we’re not left disappointed when they don’t turn up.

I was (supposed to be) meeting the female half of a couple in an open-relationship. Nothing to do with single men."

So what happened from this couples end?

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton


"Because many single guys just like to get off talking about it virtually, blow their load then that’s that. They should stick to talking fantasies rather than meets to avoid wasting everyone’s time.

It was countless instances of this which is why we no longer meet anyone off here unless they come to see us at a club. That way we’re not left disappointed when they don’t turn up.

I was (supposed to be) meeting the female half of a couple in an open-relationship. Nothing to do with single men."

That's what you think!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because many single guys just like to get off talking about it virtually, blow their load then that’s that. They should stick to talking fantasies rather than meets to avoid wasting everyone’s time.

It was countless instances of this which is why we no longer meet anyone off here unless they come to see us at a club. That way we’re not left disappointed when they don’t turn up.

I was (supposed to be) meeting the female half of a couple in an open-relationship. Nothing to do with single men.

That's what you think! "

Go on giss a clue? Mystic meg!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's what you think! "

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Are you sure it was really a couple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life getting in the way

Cold Feet

Catfishing

Enjoy other peoples misery

Just a cunt

Take your pick

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By *unner6969 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bicester


"Are you sure it was really a couple? "

Indeed. “She” chatted convincingly and we didn’t have deeply erotic sex chat, so if it was a bloke getting off on our chat, then he is easily pleased, haha

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Are you sure it was really a couple? "

Was probs a horny bloke getting off on messing your around, and the woman didn’t exist.

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By *unner6969 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bicester


"Are you sure it was really a couple?

Was probs a horny bloke getting off on messing your around, and the woman didn’t exist."

Sadly, you are probably right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Life getting in the way

Cold Feet

Catfishing

Enjoy other peoples misery

Just a cunt

Take your pick "

Just a cunt made me chuckle

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By *straightguys4uMan
over a year ago

bromley

Voice verify.

Ask them to withhold their number and leave you a voicemail.

The usual excuses are -

This is my work phone

Can’t talk right now

She’s not here at the moment

To which I usually say, fine - just get her to call and say “hello there, tried to call and will try again later”

Or any kind of bland message.

I find, that I never hear from them again.

Get the voice verify idea into your chat early - if they are gen, then they will understand.

Fabs is full of fakes, making new profiles every day to get around you blocking them.

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By *exymarvelMan
over a year ago

cardiff

Got chatting to a couple, spent a few days getting to know one another to then to be told on the day we planned 2 meet its male only present.

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By *cottish-sin69Man
over a year ago

scotland

Hold on so many couples and single woman on here are quick to jump straight to oh it must if been a horny man, op has said it was a woman not a guy, ive been on the receiving end of a female time waster as well, so i know its not just guys who do it exclusivly

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset


"Are you sure it was really a couple?

Indeed. “She” chatted convincingly and we didn’t have deeply erotic sex chat, so if it was a bloke getting off on our chat, then he is easily pleased, haha "

There's your answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another day, another no show = another timewaster.

I know it is par for the course… but what do they get out of this? Really curious to know why you would spend literally hours ‘chatting’ on the internet, agree to meet up and then go cold, no turn up, no response?

Some very sick people out there?"

Out of interest, was the person /couple green circle verified and not green flag verified? I've seen a real increase in those without fab veris but veri by others, usually offering something too good to be true?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Don't engage in wank chat and you'll find the fakes and wankers will give up pretty quickly.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"Hold on so many couples and single woman on here are quick to jump straight to oh it must if been a horny man, op has said it was a woman not a guy, ive been on the receiving end of a female time waster as well, so i know its not just guys who do it exclusivly "

May have been a man pretending to be a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you sure it was really a couple?

Indeed. “She” chatted convincingly and we didn’t have deeply erotic sex chat, so if it was a bloke getting off on our chat, then he is easily pleased, haha "

Did you speak to the female over either the video call or voice call?

If not then she probably didnt exist buddy.

KJ

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

Block and move on. Loads of timewasters on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another day, another no show = another timewaster.

I know it is par for the course… but what do they get out of this? Really curious to know why you would spend literally hours ‘chatting’ on the internet, agree to meet up and then go cold, no turn up, no response?

Some very sick people out there?"

I had my first one yesterday and posted in the other forum. They had messaged me the night before to say 'see you tmorw'.

I gave them my mobile and said please text or ring if you can't make it. Nothing!

Sat in the pub beer garden for 50 mins. messaged them no response. The only consolation was having a nice cold beer on a sunny day. I've reported them (see 'report' on their profile page as a 'no show')

I see that they read my messages, deleted them (no apology) then blocked me this morning

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By *onaldandjacquelineCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Thats fab for you, mrs gets a lot of attention wherever we go, we asked for meet last month, got let down by 5 timewasters in 3 days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Life getting in the way

Cold Feet

Catfishing

Enjoy other peoples misery

Just a cunt

Take your pick "

'just a cunt'

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By *heonixrising500Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

Drove 200 mile last week and a hotel then blocked typical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had the same with my last couple meets ..put me off meeting..even from those that have verified meets on their profile. Any time I've had to change/canc meets I try to let the other person know within a reasonable time .

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By *ucelleCouple
over a year ago

Bishops Stortford

Not sure any real couples on here. Looking elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had the same with my last couple meets ..put me off meeting..even from those that have verified meets on their profile. Any time I've had to change/canc meets I try to let the other person know within a reasonable time ."

Good to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gotta be a voice call at least before I'd go to the effort of any meet. Anyone that can't do that across at least one of the many different platforms some of which don't require divulging a phone number are very unlikely to arrive in person.

Having dragged my bad bitch to another town to meet another couple for an impromptu meet that they didn't show for and not using the call protocol up front we won't be doing it again.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I appreciate that the OP is frustrated and realises that timewasting is 'par for the course'. but I read this last night and thought I'd put some more general advice here, that includes some reasons why some people can 'suddenly' change their minds....

Assuming that you're working on ways of spotting fantasisers (even when they can’t spot themselves), and you’ve done a bit of subtle digging to find out what can go wrong, I think you simply need to always offer people some way of backing out. Even during the contact phase, and then continued up to the meet itself.

These are the biggest ‘rules’ for me:

Always leave someone room to back out, and never 'lean' on anyone to make it happen. Even subtle leaning never really works with Fab, how could it? So avoid constant talk of being 'stood up' at various different times, as that kind of vicarious guilt trip really is the quickest way to ensure it happens all over again! It could either make people worried about backing out when they might actually want to (i.e. the slow let-down), or make people want to back out when they didn’t because they now feel pressured into relinquishing their right to change their minds! (the earlier more-sudden removal!)

Do things like mention the names of ‘timewasters’ and you could really be turning the actual person you are talking to away. Always be friendly and kindly if you can. Too much confidence can actually be a little intimidating sometimes.

Make sure you never forget that there are countless things that can scupper organised meets anyway, from no-longer feeling in the mood (or no longer feeling attraction) during the initial conversation, to no longer feeling up or able just before the time of the meet! ‘No longer into it’ and ‘no longer able’ are essentially the same thing end of the day.

When you offer people easy ways out you are far less-likely to be be stood up in a really awkward way. And then it’s so much easier to just put things down to the 'Fab reality': that the odds are ultimately against most planned-in-advance meets from happening anyway.

(You could look at it this way.. Like many here I have some good contacts who I've met a number of times, but every now and then we let each other down. But because we are in contact and upfront about it all, it's never really considered 'timewasting'. Except of course it is, it's just forgiven because we know each other, and we understand that stuff happens in life – including (lets be honest) not being up for it for whatever reason. Which just happens.)

Is it always best to plan ahead?

Perhaps the best way to ‘increase the odds’ is to risk organising the meet on the free day, and to strike while the iron is hot?

To arrange something when it’s almost at the preferred date - or even on the day itself, could actually improve the chances of action by quite a bit. You can instigate this by looking at people who are 'Meeting Now' at the times you are free, and just arranging to head off to see them. (People can also set calendar dates for the future on Fab, but that will still have a couple of the problems related to all meets in advance. It’s good to promote things like this on your profile if you are interested in them btw.).

Fab provides ‘meeting today’ as you clearly can't beat two parties who are ready, willing and able. But again, even if people are free that day, always keep it open and simple; "We (I) can get in the car and come up right now - what do you say? Or if it's not convenient maybe we can do it again some time - what do you think?" You could say the above to anyone of course, regardless of their meeting status. Remember though, avoid those vicarious guilt trips! Ensure you cover the important details re sex and attraction, but keep the rest as simple as you can.

Lastly, it's good advice to make sure you've seen each others faces too. This is important psychologically, even when people say they don't care what you look like. So consider using your most attractive face pics for this, even if they happen to be normal or clothed ones (this won't matter after you are getting on, unless there’s a feeling that you are hiding yourself - but of course you should really have dealt with all of that side of things by now, as leaving too many important things to the end is never a good idea if you want to avoid being let down!).

And remember to keep in touch on the journey(s) too, simply so people can have that opportunity to back out. I mean, who really wants to meet for sex when the other party either isn’t (or is no-longer) ultimately able to for some reason? The reason, in this sense, really doesn’t matter at all.

(ps. none of this is from a sub/dom perspective, which can have a different dynamic in certain areas.) --ps

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By *igrating ladMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

I had a meet arranged with a bi couple a few weeks ago. All seemed very genuine and I was looking forward to it. Spoke to them both on phone which helped settle my nerves as hate time wasters. I then headed over to their way to park up on this road and guess what I message nothing not even a read tick on messages. I logged on to see if they were online only to find I’m blocked. Made me feel sick specially as at times like that you feel like all eyes are on you. I felt truly gutted specially as at the time we had those petrol problems, not only that but as a guy having the chance to meet a couple that had similar interests was a dream. Obviously that it was only a dream.

Scared to have meets now as I feel like this will happen again but fingers crossed my faith will be restored x

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I had a meet arranged with a bi couple a few weeks ago. All seemed very genuine and I was looking forward to it. Spoke to them both on phone which helped settle my nerves as hate time wasters. I then headed over to their way to park up on this road and guess what I message nothing not even a read tick on messages. I logged on to see if they were online only to find I’m blocked. Made me feel sick specially as at times like that you feel like all eyes are on you. I felt truly gutted specially as at the time we had those petrol problems, not only that but as a guy having the chance to meet a couple that had similar interests was a dream. Obviously that it was only a dream.

Scared to have meets now as I feel like this will happen again but fingers crossed my faith will be restored x"

---Such a bummer for people this. Those no-showers don't know what to do when they want-out of something, so a number of them simply block. It's just the easiest thing to do for some people. Try not to take it personally, they don't know you at all, they simply changed their minds for some reason(s) and you'll likely never know why it was. It may have little to do with you at all, they could have just fallen out with each other or something. So many things can happen to get in the way of a meet.

Despite all I wrote above (about giving people room to back-out), nothing can really legislate for some form of last-minute change of heart I'm afraid. --pt

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By *igrating ladMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I had a meet arranged with a bi couple a few weeks ago. All seemed very genuine and I was looking forward to it. Spoke to them both on phone which helped settle my nerves as hate time wasters. I then headed over to their way to park up on this road and guess what I message nothing not even a read tick on messages. I logged on to see if they were online only to find I’m blocked. Made me feel sick specially as at times like that you feel like all eyes are on you. I felt truly gutted specially as at the time we had those petrol problems, not only that but as a guy having the chance to meet a couple that had similar interests was a dream. Obviously that it was only a dream.

Scared to have meets now as I feel like this will happen again but fingers crossed my faith will be restored x

---Such a bummer for people this. Those no-showers don't know what to do when they want-out of something, so a number of them simply block. It's just the easiest thing to do for some people. Try not to take it personally, they don't know you at all, they simply changed their minds for some reason(s) and you'll likely never know why it was. It may have little to do with you at all, they could have just fallen out with each other or something. So many things can happen to get in the way of a meet.

Despite all I wrote above (about giving people room to back-out), nothing can really legislate for some form of last-minute change of heart I'm afraid. --pt"

I agree and I do see where your coming from. Stay safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because many single guys just like to get off talking about it virtually, blow their load then that’s that. They should stick to talking fantasies rather than meets to avoid wasting everyone’s time.

It was countless instances of this which is why we no longer meet anyone off here unless they come to see us at a club. That way we’re not left disappointed when they don’t turn up. "

I think you guys are right, might have to start going the clubs, to many time wasters, lifes too short!

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