FabSwingers.com forum: str8 guys who are bi?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

why do so many men have str8 on their profile yet respond to profiles and admit to being bi?

is biphobia or indeed homophobia a real threat?if so why?this is after all a swinging site for adult hedonists to meet have fun and to not conform to what we are told to be....is sex between consenting adults regradless of sexual orentation what we are all about?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Iv been trying to find you a thread that could have answered your question but don't know where its gone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they are simply bi denied or possibly bi confused but what ever I suspect someone will be along shortly to tell us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its probably because they think that admitting to being bi or even having a passing interest in the bi side of things will put straight people off replying to their profile. Some straight people will be put off, that's for sure .... but such as life

I used to feel that way at one time, but now state on my profile that I have a mild interest in that side of life. If it puts people off from meeting well that's just tough titty - there are plenty more fish in the sea

Each to their own, I think it's just a "man thing" hey ho !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they put str8 to meet the single fems , and say there bi to get more cpls interested ... well thats wot my survey said lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We know of one couple that changed their profile from Bi to Straight, shortly after we had been honest and said we wasn't interested as the gent was Bi, they messaged back a couple of days later and it had changed, so I guess others have had a similar response.

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

On our very first meet with a cpl a few yrs ago the on profile the guy was str8 and the girl was bi which was what we were after when it came to playing the 2 girls were getting down to it on the bed and we were naked waiting to join but the guy kept getting far too close (rubbing it up against my leg I would say)I would move away he would move closer I said to mrs there was something not right about him and I saw them on another site and his profile said bi which is fine but he said str8 when we met them and he knew I was str8 so why try it on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However its dressed it just comes down to dishonesty,underhanded duplicity and missrepresentation.

I recently saw a profile from a gay t/v,no problem with that,he was honest,what you see is what you get. However,what gripped my gnads was the first guy to varify him was a "straight" single guy giving thanks for a horny time.

This guy had nothing on his profile to say he was anything other than straight.I also notice he didn't reciprocate by putting any varification from the gay t/v.

Only when you looked at his "wanting to meet" did it include TV/TS. It just makes us wonder what else these guys lie about.Rant over.

Trace & Ric

XXXX

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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago

south staffs

I wonder if a lot of men who are basically straight, when in the right company and situation, don't mind being orally bi with the man of the couple one or both ways??

Why would it put some people off meeting a person if they admit to being bi ??? Surely you lay down ground rules early on, so there should be no problem.

I think it is vital that everyone on a site like this can be totally honest, without being lambasted for it by "the righteous brigade" ( having recently also read the Bareback thread)

Live by your own rules and don't try to rule others.

That is just my personal opinion.

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We know of one couple that changed their profile from Bi to Straight, shortly after we had been honest and said we wasn't interested as the gent was Bi, they messaged back a couple of days later and it had changed, so I guess others have had a similar response.

"
We had the same thing on another site from a couple who are also on here.

They contacted us with him down as Bi on their profile,we declined saying we only played with straight guys.

Some months later they contacted us again,only this time he was down as straight.We pointed this out and they said it was a mistake before,that they hadn't realised they had Bi on his stats.What,for 6 months and they never realised? Yeah,and my cocks a kipper!

Needless to say we never met but know a couple who did and they said he was Bi.

This sort of thing is a pet hate of ours and really winds us up.Can you tell,lol?

Trace & Ric

XXXX

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

It would not put us off if the male said he was bi just as long as he is up front about it and knows that I am not and never will be and respects that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was on another site and there was a chat room called "str8 guys who suck cock "

and it was full, lol u couldnt get in, .... confused.com lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was on another site and there was a chat room called "str8 guys who suck cock "

and it was full, lol u couldnt get in, .... confused.com lol

Should be titled, Chatroom for the deluded, or guys in denial, lol, obviously it seems ok to say I am straight and suck cock,lol.

I have no problem with sexuality tbh, but a spoon is a spoon ain't it, lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"i was on another site and there was a chat room called "str8 guys who suck cock "

and it was full, lol u couldnt get in, .... confused.com lol

Should be titled, Chatroom for the deluded, or guys in denial, lol, obviously it seems ok to say I am straight and suck cock,lol.

I have no problem with sexuality tbh, but a spoon is a spoon ain't it, lol.

Unless Uri Gellers been at it! lol

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

"i was on another site and there was a chat room called "str8 guys who suck cock "

and it was full, lol u couldnt get in, .... confused.com lol

Yes saw that one too and it threw me,a contradiction there actualy it was from the same site that we had the muddled up guy wonder if thats his chat room lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would it put some people off meeting a person if they admit to being bi ??? Surely you lay down ground rules early on, so there should be no problem.

I think it is vital that everyone on a site like this can be totally honest, without being lambasted for it by "the righteous brigade"

Live by your own rules and don't try to rule others.

That is just my personal opinion.

Jane x"

Well, we didn't want to meet the couple with the Bi Guy simply because with all due respect my partner is repulsed by the thought of guy on guy( sorry if that offends but that's how it is here, so she might be daft in thinking this, but she is concerned a guy may take too much interest toward me, as someone above also states has happened to them, so is possible, we don't suggest anyone changes, we are not being righteous, we are living by our rules and not trying to rule others, it's our preference, we do what we like and I recommend everyone does the same, but be honest at least here about it.

ok, so I waffled a bit there, I had one eye on other things, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If naming and shaming was allowed on this site I could give u a list of literally hundreds of "straight" men that have contacted me. It annoys me and they always get the same answer - NO! These same guys are also trying to get meets with straight couples - pretending to the guy that they are straight. Grrrr!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"why do so many men have str8 on their profile yet respond to profiles and admit to being bi?

I found the thread i was looking for ages ago its quite enlightening

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/821

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many straight males who are orally bi only and can take it or leave it.

Dont class themselves as bi sexual

And being a bi male myself neither would i class them as bi sexual or even bi curious to me they are straight males that like sucking cock and are comfortable with brushing against or getting close to other males whilst giving a female a good time

Maybe there should be another term such as male comfortable lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't understand why, as a bi male. Couples think I'm gonna jump the male half as soon as I set eyes on him

I class myself as bi because I know, if the mood takes me I will suck cock.

BUT.

I don't really fancy guys. I love the female form to much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep people think that lol

Never occurs to them that the bi male might not even fancy sucking their cock lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep people think that lol

Never occurs to them that the bi male might not even fancy sucking their cock lol"

At last! Someone who understands :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Les has just said that that can apply to women as well you may all get on with each other ie male female in a couple but even in a fully bi meet when the males are bi and the females are bi

it dosent always mean that the same sex partners would want to go with each other

if you get my drift pmsl xx

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

I personnaly dont think that and as I have said above I dont have a problem with bi male cpls as long as they understand I am not and keep it that way but (and remember this was our first meet with anyone)the timeI am talking about the guy was def trying a little bit towards me after stating on his profile he was str8.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes totally agree with you if any male bi, bicurious, or just a straight gut that sucks cock comes on to a male with out any indication from the other male that he is welcome then this is wrong wrong wrong and you have every right to be bloody anoyed if possible things like that should be dissussed before the meet i never push my sexuallity on to anyone and always respect others limits but i realise that a lot do unfortunatly lucky they are the minority.

Craig

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

I can understand this to some degree - and why its on my profile that i will approach couples as I like to choose my female rather than them making the decision.

It also doesnt mean that i would jump on any female i got the chance to have a meet with - and do sometimes feel that some women do do it just to lease their partners, and that doesnt make for a comfortable play.

Its still has to be agreed by ALL parrties as to how you play and how far you go.

Maybe sometimes this is not discussed enough beforehand...???

Just a thought xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can understand this to some degree - and why its on my profile that i will approach couples as I like to choose my female rather than them making the decision.

Its still has to be agreed by ALL parrties as to how you play and how far you go.

Maybe sometimes this is not discussed enough beforehand...???

Just a thought xx

Yep agree totally if you intend to have fun with some one then it makes sence to disscuss things first

Granted this isnt always easy with quick or club meets but with an arranged meet it can be done

Craig x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have heard that there are even men that dress up as women on here specifically for this sort of activity......Disgusting, in the best possible taste!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know of a bi gentleman on the site who prefers to keep his sexuality private, as adding the worde BI leads to numerous messages from men who want to try their BI side , so he his sexuality is usually discussed with the relevant parties before he agrees to meet .......

PLUS one final snippet...... not sure if you know this....... the men who are BI on the site do contact the straight men and the straight men are getting little fed up of it to say the least......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

snip

Well, we didn't want to meet the couple with the Bi Guy simply because with all due respect my partner is repulsed by the thought of guy on guy( sorry if that offends but that's how it is here

snip"

But not repulsed with F on F?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

snip

Well, we didn't want to meet the couple with the Bi Guy simply because with all due respect my partner is repulsed by the thought of guy on guy( sorry if that offends but that's how it is here

snip

But not repulsed with F on F?

And, if they both look very nice, and you have both agreed the ouline of what your happy with, fun all round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think at the end of the day most guys don't put bi in their profile because it puts some people off.

I am as honest as I can be on here. Yes I'm bi and married. And it's put people off taking to me. I'm bi yes, but its more about going with the flow than it is about liking men.

What makes me laugh are the 'openminded' people on here that run a mile as soon as they see the word bi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think at the end of the day most guys don't put bi in their profile because it puts some people off.

I am as honest as I can be on here. Yes I'm bi and married. And it's put people off taking to me. I'm bi yes, but its more about going with the flow than it is about liking men.

What makes me laugh are the 'openminded' people on here that run a mile as soon as they see the word bi."

What makes me laugh is the naivety of thought some folk have with the notion that folks in this lifestyle are some how open minded

Folk in this lifestyle come from every section of life and bring with them all the associated baggage that being a human has. Until people can get their heads round that, their misconceptions about how we are all supposed to behave will continue to lead to confusion and frustration.

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By *ocalMan
over a year ago

Manchester

well as a newish bi guy with very little bi experience i can fully understand straight husbands feeling threatened by having a naked bi guy near them no matter how much the bi guy says he is not interested in him, as for me, i dont fancy blokes in the slightest not even the supposedly fit guys like beckham clooney depp or who ever, and I can honestly say (and i know this because I have been in this situtation)that if a husband tells me he is straight then i wont even look at him or think to look at him in a sexual way at all, but at the same time i can understand him thinking i will be.

i have never instigated the 1st contact with any male, bi or straight, on here or couples where the husband has said he is straight, but i have had numerous emails off straight single males and straight husbands, some of whom say they are bi and some say bi-curios, and many of them, especially the husbands think because you have bi on your profile then you are some sort of promiscuous homo that will suck anything on offer, witch couldnt be further from the truth as far as i am concerned

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

"What makes me laugh is the naivety of thought some folk have with the notion that folks in this lifestyle are some how open minded

hmmm that's just another generalisation, we find some folks in this lifestyle are truly open minded, and some are not.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was on another site and there was a chat room called "str8 guys who suck cock "

and it was full, lol u couldnt get in, .... confused.com lol

Thats like saying "I'm not gay but I've fucked a guy who was!",lol.

Ric

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was on another site and there was a chat room called "str8 guys who suck cock "

and it was full, lol u couldnt get in, .... confused.com lol

Thats like saying "I'm not gay but I've fucked a guy who was!",lol.

Ric

XX"

Funny you should say that.....:D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was on another site and there was a chat room called "str8 guys who suck cock "

and it was full, lol u couldnt get in, .... confused.com lol

Thats like saying "I'm not gay but I've fucked a guy who was!",lol.

Ric

XX"

Apparently it's not gay if you don't push back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both E and I are bi and have had the discussion between our selves on how we present our profile on fab. On another site we set out to be totally open about both our bi sides, this resulted in less responses to our messages even though either of us can play 110% straight if thats what the other couple want.

As a little experiment (and yes it was very naughty of us) we left D's profile as straight and not bi. It's amazing the difference in resposes and contacts. So... it just goes to show there isn't that many totally open minded people out there.

Anyway, we're back to being bi now as we know that anyone we do meet we will know that they are totally confortable with us and in reality makes the meet so much more fun.

Oh and if advertised straight people do contact us and say they are really bi... we don't mind. Everybody has reasons why. (as did we

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can never understand why people would lie on their profile just to meet people who didn't meet their criteria.

Doe's it make them feel good to think they pulled a fast one or got one over on a couple who wouldn't ordinarily have met them.Is it "High Fives" as they get in the car to go home?

As it says on our profile Trace is Bi and we only meet Bi fem couples. Therefore theres no way she'd pretend she was straight just to meet straight women for my sake,nor would I want her to.

We'd rather just meet people with the same sexual preferences as ourselves honestly.We don't think we'd enjoy a meet knowing we'd conned the couple about our sexuality.

The same would apply wether I too was Bi,Gay or Transexual.

Trace & Ric

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly why our profile is now exactly the same on here as it is on LS. We're relativly new to the scene and didn't believe what some people have said about putting bi on our profile putting people off. Obviously this definately is the case and feel we have made a big boo boo. Anyway, we know now the scene a bit more, and now know what we may be up against regarding people's choices.

We thought being bi (well male anyway) wasn't a big issue. Playing straight is easy for us and we're very open about our sexuality. But after reading some other threads we've both had a bit of a shock with regards to other peoples views on it.

We're a very genuine couple and feel really guilty about not putting D down as bi to start of with.... we just didn't believe what other had said to us about the reduction in responses we'd get otherwise.

We'll honesty is definately best and wow what a learning experince we've had so far. Luckly I think myself and E learn from our mistakes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've met both straight, straight/bi and bi couples so far and on every occasion not passed any boundries set. For example we only only only have safe sex ! and neither of us kiss the opposite sex above the neck. I guess a bi guy not touching a straight guy or a bi girl not touching a straight girl is a boundry some people think are easy to break compared to other ?

Anyway think we've come across as rather defensive (embrassed) on this post. And anyone who has contacted us who would definately not go with a couple who the male is bi... please accept our sincerlist apologies.

Luckly the only couple we've actually met from fab so far (all the others have been from LS) knew we're were both bi as we'd started chatting on LS first.

phew sorry for such a long post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to have an issue with the anti bi guy stuff in the swinging world but over the years I dinna really care now.... there is truly room for us all and if a couple are honest enough to put it on their profile, its cool, thats their preference and that must be respected.

altho still to find my first profile that shouts NO BI FEMS..... maybe the ladies are less homophobic lol xx or the macho males still desire the FFM thing too much lol xxx

as I say, room for us all xxx .

and I do get a wee chuckle scrollin down the verifications on the profiles of the 'anti bi guys ' couples looking at the 'str8' guys they have met... thinking he sucked me and he sucked me and he is sucked me lol ... not everyone is as honest.... and just cause it says str8 lol ....

and saying that ..... have also met some guys from str8 couples in gays saunas..... they obviously took the wrong turning at the str8 sauna this way and the gay sauna that way sign.

wish everyone in the swinging world respect based fun xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to have an issue with the anti bi guy stuff in the swinging world but over the years I dinna really care now.... there is truly room for us all and if a couple are honest enough to put it on their profile, its cool, thats their preference and that must be respected.

altho still to find my first profile that shouts NO BI FEMS..... maybe the ladies are less homophobic lol xx or the macho males still desire the FFM thing too much lol xxx

as I say, room for us all xxx .

and saying that ..... have also met some guys from str8 couples in gays saunas..... they obviously took the wrong turning at the str8 sauna this way and the gay sauna that way sign.

wish everyone in the swinging world respect based fun xxxxxx"

No offence meant but your mentioning your visits to gay saunas is the main reason we and many other couples we've spoken to won't meet Bi guys.

The simple truth is,as we said on a similar thread,many couples just don't trust them.Which is also the reason so many won't meet single guys either.

As for why you never see NO BI FEMS, girl on girl is about the safest sex you can have.How many Gay Saunas for women do you see,or how many women do you hear of Cottaging or hanging round toilets for casual sex?

We all know guys do it,theres a good chance there are Bi guys on here that do,both attached and single.Its a chance that us and many other couples just aren't prepared to take.

As was said earlier,no offence meant, just telling it like it is.

Trace & Ric

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No offence meant but your mentioning your visits to gay saunas is the main reason we and many other couples we've spoken to won't meet Bi guys.

The simple truth is,as we said on a similar thread,many couples just don't trust them.Which is also the reason so many won't meet single guys either.

We all know guys do it,theres a good chance there are Bi guys on here that do,both attached and single.Its a chance that us and many other couples just aren't prepared to take.

As was said earlier,no offence meant, just telling it like it is.

Trace & Ric

XXXX

Blimey talk about tarring everyone with the same brush......

So how many straight men use prostitutes and get STIs that way ? or bi/straight women who have got an STI from sleeping around unprotected ?

How about a women going down on another women and transmitting herpes for example from say a cold sore ?

So from my little examples... that makes all everyone off limits.

God I'd never ever do the stuff mentioned in the last post, and a bet 99% of the others you've tarred wouldn't either........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well trace and rick.....

saunas are saunas and yu may be surprised many folks use them ... even str8 men to have sex with ladies...

ffs what a down right bizarre response....... as for public toilets .... no comment ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No offence meant but your mentioning your visits to gay saunas is the main reason we and many other couples we've spoken to won't meet Bi guys.

The simple truth is,as we said on a similar thread,many couples just don't trust them.Which is also the reason so many won't meet single guys either.

We all know guys do it,theres a good chance there are Bi guys on here that do,both attached and single.Its a chance that us and many other couples just aren't prepared to take.

As was said earlier,no offence meant, just telling it like it is.

Trace & Ric

XXXX

Well we have our answer now. This is why so many bi guys say they're str8. Because it seems bi guys have no idea how to practise safe sex and mostly carry STD's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and thank god couples like that wouldnt take a chance wi a guy in his 40's like me, who has never had an std in his very wild sex life ..... not that I would ever ask them to...... ( but will continue to get screened every 6 months cause never say never )

they would be so busy kissing their reflection in the mirror... obv no offence meant xxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and thank god couples like that wouldnt take a chance wi a guy in his 40's like me, who has never had an std in his very wild sex life ..... not that I would ever ask them to...... ( but will continue to get screened every 6 months cause never say never )

they would be so busy kissing their reflection in the mirror... obv no offence meant xxxxxxxxxxx

:D pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No offence meant but your mentioning your visits to gay saunas is the main reason we and many other couples we've spoken to won't meet Bi guys.

The simple truth is,as we said on a similar thread,many couples just don't trust them.Which is also the reason so many won't meet single guys either.

We all know guys do it,theres a good chance there are Bi guys on here that do,both attached and single.Its a chance that us and many other couples just aren't prepared to take.

As was said earlier,no offence meant, just telling it like it is.

Trace & Ric

XXXX

Blimey talk about tarring everyone with the same brush......

So how many straight men use prostitutes and get STIs that way ? or bi/straight women who have got an STI from sleeping around unprotected ?

How about a women going down on another women and transmitting herpes for example from say a cold sore ?

So from my little examples... that makes all everyone off limits.

God I'd never ever do the stuff mentioned in the last post, and a bet 99% of the others you've tarred wouldn't either........"

If you check you'll see that we said that a lot of couples don't trust single straight guys either.You only have to check out the varification lists of barebackers and gay guys to see why not.

As for Bi fems with cold sores......well,come on.......would you play with anyone with a cold sore? We definitely wouldn't.

As we also said,these are not just our oppinions but also many couples we've spoken to.Many won't say so because they're probably afraid of confrontation but you asked for honest reasons.

Also we have several gay male friends, such as the two we were at a vanilla party with last night.And its because of what these friends have told us,that we don't meet Bi guys.

They've told us of gay dogging sites that are frequented by attached and unattached Bi and "straight" guys.

These guys really(and rightly so)piss the majority of the gay guys off with their ideas of safe sex,which usualy means not getting their faces in any camera shots,or getting their shoes muddy. They say some of the antics of these guys beggar belief and is downright scarey.

So there you have it straight from the horses mouth and to us,and many others,its definitely not worth the risk.

Trace & Ric

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have several gay male friends, such as the two we were at a vanilla party with last night.And its because of what these friends have told us,that we don't meet Bi guys.

I'm sorry but, just because some friends of yours have had a bad time with bi guys. You guys have thought, all bi guys must be the same. Thats pretty narrow mind of you don't you think?

Thats like me saying I won't meet girls with green eyes, cause a mate of mine said every girl HE'S met with green eyes has been a nightmare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your still tarring every single gay or bi guy with the same brush. Just because what some un attached gay guys have told you. Thats like saying everyone in the swinging scene is just out to shag everyone they can.... which is definately not the case.

And cold sores do not have to be evident for the herpes virus to be trasmitted, it was given as an example of how fem fem bi play is not totally safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your still tarring every single gay or bi guy with the same brush. Just because what some un attached gay guys have told you. Thats like saying everyone in the swinging scene is just out to shag everyone they can.... which is definately not the case.

And cold sores do not have to be evident for the herpes virus to be trasmitted, it was given as an example of how fem fem bi play is not totally safe.

Thank you guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they would be so busy kissing their reflection in the mirror... obv no offence meant xxxxxxxxxxx

Oh,so you ask for honest reasons why many couples won't meet Bi guys and when you don't like the reasons (which are shared the couples we talk to on the subject,including gay ones) you don't like it.Would you rather we lied to keep favour and let you keep labouring under a misshaprehension? What purpose would that serve?

It would appear we also have to be up ourselves if we take whatever precautions we deem necessary to be safe.Even if that means not playing with certain sections of the community.

Now THAT IS bizzare!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they would be so busy kissing their reflection in the mirror... obv no offence meant xxxxxxxxxxx

It would appear we also have to be up ourselves if we take whatever precautions we deem necessary to be safe.Even if that means not playing with certain sections of the community.

Now THAT IS bizzare!

It's not that you're being honest guys. Its that you're making your minds up and taring every single bi guy with the same brush, without getting to know any of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

here here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"here here"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they would be so busy kissing their reflection in the mirror... obv no offence meant xxxxxxxxxxx

It would appear we also have to be up ourselves if we take whatever precautions we deem necessary to be safe.Even if that means not playing with certain sections of the community.

Now THAT IS bizzare!

It's not that you're being honest guys. Its that you're making your minds up and taring every single bi guy with the same brush, without getting to know any of them"

As we've repeated several times,we have many gay/bi/transexual friends.So obviously we have got to know them well but that doesn't mean we'd feel comfortable with them in a sexual situation and they respect that.Some,by their own admission,do/have sailed close to the wind,so have some of our straight friends.

It's our and anyone elses prerogative to meet/play with someone or not for whatever reason/s we see fit,wether straight,Bi or whatever.

It's just that we've given our reasons instead of saying "just because" which is often translated as "personal preference".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As View said previously there's room for all sexual orentations on the site All you can do is be honest about what your looking for and respect another's boundaries which to me and my wife is the biggest thing, if a fem she's str8 then we have to respect that and we know of several fems who are very str8.We have to expect that people on a site will not be honest but this is a very small percentage whoo spoil it for others but through word of mouth (no pun intended) are generally found out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cheers david , my orginal point was exactly that... honesty on profiles.

respect to the couples who do say they wont meet bi guys...

respect to the guys who say they are bi and not str8 to get more fun based on an untrue declaration....

anyway, thats it from me on this subject ..

I have gay friends too and even have some black ones and also a disabled friend .... I am very cosmoploitan lol

and my friend who happens to be a black lesbian in a wheelchair , well I trail her to all the parties to champion my diversity.

respect to all and have lots of fun ..

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

could i just say that from my experience on fab that the bi guys i have met with always INSIST on safe sex yet i have found that a few of the straight guys have tried to chance their luck and ask for bareback....needless to say they were met with a definite no.

i want to play safe and have recently had a full sexual health check which i was happy to see was all clear( had been naughty before i was married 20 yr ago - no protection a few times) and know some of the guys take their sexual health very seriusly too.

all in all it is down to the individuals choice whether they meet with biguys for fun or not but no one should be judged based on their sexuality.me personally i love fun with bi guys. bring it on guys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks _adcow. Thats exactly what I was trying to get at earlier on. Your right everyone had a choice of who they go with.... BUT when someone accuses someone else of being dirty and STD ridden just because they are bi or gay... well that really is a pisser.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bottom line...(pardon the pun)

Anyone and i mean anyone who is worried or concerned about anyone elses sexual preferences....is in fact really more concerned about their own!

Its arrogance of the highest order to assume that just because someone is bi they will automatically want to jump you...

Live and let live.. and is it not sad that as swingers we still seek to judge the sexual antics of others

vol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oo and forgot to add....

gay men and bi men and the saunas and the public tiolets etc..ha ha ha ha

thats as right as saying...

every swinger has no morals

every swinger has no principles

every swinging couple the man is pimping his wife

all swingers are dirty

all men cheat

all women are slappers

all blondes are thick

all men are perverts

all women are frigid

all red heads a firey

all of the above is a lot of nonsense

stay happy

vol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have to agree with Voluptuous - people are bi in a number of different ways and like different things - doesnt essentially mean they will instantly want you!!! Not too many people mind bi woman and wouldn't complain about them not telling you in their profile, but telling you later or even surprising you ha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep but you forgot to mention that swingers should sleep with anyone and expect to have their preferences questioned if they don’t, no means no, and if people don’t want to meet certain individuals for whatever reason that should be that. It’s called choice and nobody should be slated or ridiculed for making their choice even if we don’t all agree with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no means no and should ALWAYS be respected..end of.

Sexual preference again should always be respected....

This is not about sexual preference or no not meaning no, its about people stereotyping and in a particularily horrible way.

No one would suggest you should see bi or str8 or whatever if that is not your choice. But just because you feel that way is not a reason to assume everyone wants to leap on or that these people must engage in some sort of hideous and unsavoury activity...

...especially when we as swingerss are supposed to be open minded and accepting about sexual antics that the populous wouild consider unsavoury...

..activities that we are forced to hide and cover up for fear of what nonsense the neighbours or popular press would say to us.

All based on half truths lies and exageration.

If we would wish for some form of acceptance and equality then at the very least we should start within our own ranks and stop stereotyping those that dont always fall into our own sexual bag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do see where you are coming from, although whilst gay and bisexual men are regarded as high risk in terms of HIV on a weekly basis by the media then unfortunately you will always get this stereotyping, but are these warnings backed up by facts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will say for the 3rd time....

THE COUPLES WHO SAY 'NO BI GUYS' ARE TO BE RESPECTED FOR THEIR HONESTY AND THEIR CHOICE.....

THE BI GUYS WHO ARE HONEST ALSO DESERVE THE SAME....

however the assumption of disease ridden cummunity is offensive in the extreme.....

of course, the redlight districts, brothels full of eastern europeans girls whose passports have been taken, massage parlours, escort sites on the web , doggin sites ( some of the above people pay more for bareback ) are TOTALLY FULL OF BI GUYS WHO ARE TAKING A DAY OFF FROM GAY SAUNA'S OR KNEELING IN A GENTS LOO'S....

and the very clean living single/ married STR8 guys are sitting on the sofa with wife / gf's watchin EASTENDERS.

I choose to go to a gay sauna from time to time as I find the idea of cottages/toilets/woods ,where innocent kids, dog walkers, could be exposed to UNACCEPTABLE behaviour.

anyway am bored now lol ...

so wish everyone well , fun, and safe sex......

in the meantime.....

I will read every profile , digest information , decide if I am compatible to their requirements , chat , see if we connect , meet up, sit and chat thro boundaries , if all agree ...... hopefully great sex and new friendship.

view xx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

" .... and the very clean living single/ married STR8 guys are sitting on the sofa with wife / gf's watchin EASTENDERS.

Actually they are more likely to be in the "straight men who suck cock" chatroom on a certain other site whilst wifey is at the supermarket...

It's amazing who you bump into in there lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fab polo lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well done for making us laugh all getting too serious ...... me included

apologies , off ma soapbox xx

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

@trace & rick

You know we said we were gonna keep off this subject after all the fuss on the bareback thread.... but there is one thing about your statement regards fem-fem bi sex that we really just have to comment on.

So it's the safest form of sex apparently. Well apart form the fact that certain STDs are quite common in the lesbian community we would much rather make an observation of our own more relevant to this lifestyle.

A couple weeks ago we were at at a party - there were a few couples there we already met before and quite a few we didn't know. Now out of all those present, most everyone seemed to be happily enjoying safe sex. OK we were in an unusual situation maybe as one of the other couples were friends we always bareback with, the another couple we knew are friends who always do safe because that's what they prefer (they know we would do otherwise but we respect their choice of course).

To us this is really is not a problem (we know to you it is totally weird for some reason that we enjoy both but we justt call it open-minded) so there we were in this group of 8 couples, barebacking with our friends and playing safe with the others (gotta respect everyones boundaries yep) and no one at all even batted an eyelid at this.

But what we did notice (and comment on later) is quite a few of the girls were happily playing together in groups of three or more, sharing toys and fingers and they obviously had no problem with this sort of activity. We doubt this is an uncommon event at parties either.

It doesn't worry us, buto in that situation, who do you feel (if anyone) is taking the risk?

xxx

J&R

P.S we used to put safe sex on our profile - now we don't. It's hard to kow what to tick when you are open minded to either. Anyway we have found get the same amount of meets either way (and roughly the same proportion that come from couples who put safe sex or not). Now that does not seem to fit in with your philosophy either about what "many others" do, could you explain it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We do see where you are coming from, although whilst gay and bisexual men are regarded as high risk in terms of HIV on a weekly basis by the media then unfortunately you will always get this stereotyping, but are these warnings backed up by facts? "

Its not just the media but also the various leading Health Organisations that regard it as high risk,so its hardly steriotyping.

However,lets finaly clear a few misconceptions up here, once and for all.

Do we believe that all Bi guys on swing sites,attached or single,have std's and meet guys for unsafe sex in public W.C's or wherever?

No,of course not!

Do we believe that some do?

The law of averages would mean we'd say yes!Also the fact that they've closed or demolished several public W.C's in our area alone,because of guys meeting for sex,means its a fact that it happens.

Do we believe that a good percentage of "straight" single/attached guys would meet Bi/Gay guy/s for sex,safe or otherwise?

Emphaticaly yes,check varifications!

Do we believe that there are straights of both sexes attached or single who indulge in unsafe sex with hetero one night stands?

Of course!

Do we respect openly Bi,Gay and TV/TS's?

Absolutely,without doubt! Its the dishonest,underhanded "straights" we dislike.

We've stuck our necks out by being honest and giving our reasons why we don't meet Bi guys.As we said before, these reasons are also the views of others we have spoken to.However they obviously prefer to keep a lower profile,thats their prerogative.It leaves us to take the flack but such is life.

We're all responsible for our own safety and if that means not meeting the sections of the community we view as a risk,so be it.Wether they're Bi,Gay,Straight,Barebackers or Cream Pie Filchers.That's our prerogative as well as anyone elses and one we choose to exercise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"@trace & rick

It doesn't worry us, buto in that situation, who do you feel (if anyone) is taking the risk?

xxx

J&R

For one thing Trace always uses condoms on strap ons and toys.

The thing that "many others" do,as you'll recall from the Bareback thread,seems to be the opposite to the philosophy you adhere to regarding safe sex.

We can never make sex with others 100% safe but we can make it as safe as it can be,that means all of the time not just some of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HIV in the UK: facts and statistics

HIV is the fastest growing serious health condition in the UK. By 2009 it's estimated that there will be over 80,000 people living with HIV, a quarter of whom will be undiagnosed.

Heterosexuals

The number of people newly diagnosed with HIV in the UK who contracted the virus through heterosexual sex, either in the UK or abroad, is increasing. In 1999 heterosexual sex overtook homosexual sex as the most common route of transmission among new HIV cases overall.

In 2007, heterosexual transmission accounted for 55% of those diagnosed in the UK. However, the overall risk of acquiring HIV through heterosexual sex in the UK remains relatively low. The majority of people diagnosed in the UK with HIV transmitted through heterosexual sex were actually exposed to the virus overseas, often in areas such as sub-Saharan Africa where it is more widespread.

Statistics

In 2007, about 77% of heterosexually acquired HIV that was diagnosed in the UK, was probably acquired overseas.

Those infected with HIV through heterosexual sex account for:

the highest proportion of newly diagnosed HIV cases in each year since 1999

55% of new HIV cases in 2007, up from 37% in 1997

50% of the total cases presenting for care, which is more than any other group (MSM now account for 42%)

Amongst those diagnosed with heterosexually acquired HIV:

around two thirds are Black African

many women are diagnosed by routine testing during pregancy

In 2007, 36% of heterosexual women and 42% of heterosexual men were diagnosed late.

The number of people newly diagnosed with HIV and probably infected through heterosexual sex in the UK rose from 534 in 2005 to 960 in 2007. This shows the ongoing impact of the global HIV epidemic, with many of these probably being infected by partners exposed to the virus abroad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I WILL ALWAYS PRACTISE 'SAFE SEX' and applaud all others who do so.

and again I am big enough to apologise to anyone I may have offended during this thread.

view x

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Actually Trace & Rick, we applaud you for sticking your necks out and taking the flack. Something we are not afraid of either so in that respect at least, we are very similar people you and us.

xxx

J&R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have apologised twice if i have offended anyone during this thread..

I have had people's opinion directed at me......

I have directed my opinion to them....

and I have apologised ....

so no flack from me ........

for the 4th time..... I applaud the couples who are honest on their profiles and say no bi guys. THEIR CHOICE...... AND MUST BE RESPECTED.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

OK I think the OP has had their question answered so lets leave it at that

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