FabSwingers.com forum: Who's given up on Fab?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have been here for around 6 months and to be honest, the experience has become more and more depressing as time goes on. We realised that the site was full of fake profiles, ignorant and rude guys that don't or can't read, and time-wasters. We felt like we had loads to offer, (in our opinion are a good-looking, slim, fit couple). We thought that clubs would be the best option, but our first visit to VA was so off-putting that we are now in a position where we are probably just going to give up on the whole idea. Has anyone else had the same experiences, to the point they give up?

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By * -and- LCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Absolutely! It started off really fun with a few interesting meets. Then after two no-shows and multiple fakes, it's become boring...yet we are still here, hoping for it to get better!

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By *sLillyMrWolfeCouple
over a year ago

near you...

What happened at VA? We've only had good times there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard to find genuine fun people on here,it's a fact!majority are full of shit and lying about everything and anything. Pretending to be better than they actually are.why it's needed?God only knows...

This is our 3rd or 4th time when we on couples profile.dont get much out of it...

Maybe it's our fault?

We are just two boring feckers

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

No I've enjoyed my time on fab. I never let it effect my life negatively really .

I also have searched for people I want to meet rather than expect them to find me first when I am doing new meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a lot of fakes and it can get really annoying at times but there are also a lot of genuine people out there.

Just put it on the back burner for a bit then see how you feel. We took at break of 7 months or so and have just come back. Had a couple of great meets last week. It can get frustrating though when you’re looking for something particular, and you know it’s out there but the effort you have to put in at times doesn’t seem worth it.

I think it can become a bit all consuming at times, especially in the beginning.

Why did you have such an awful time at VA?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Nope.

Been here 14 years as a single and as a couple. Never had any plans to give up although have taken frequent breaks.

A cliche....but you get out what you put in.

Are you being proactive and looking for profiles that you're attracted to, or like many couples, just waiting for incoming messages and then moaning about the quality?

You've had one bad club experience. That doesn't reflect clubs in general or I suspect VA itself.

I can't comment on how your profile looks as a.) you've nor asked specifically for feedback and b.) you've hidden it.

But there are many, many couples and singles having a whale of a time on here and using the site successfully. Anyone can. It just depends on how you choose to use it.

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By *razy ShenanigansCouple
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Just out of interest guys, what was so off putting about VA? Seen a number of couples post about a bad first club experience and although you and they are well with your rights to feel put off by it, the general advice has been to try not to let it make you give up but give a different club/night a go

For the most part, the decent clubs will generally be really good fun with the bad experiences being a rare occasion. Maybe have a scope around at some other reviews and give it another try? As you may find just one good night will change your mind completely

As for Fab itself, yes it is very hard work on here, we were the same, joined full of hope of a brimming lifestyle full of regular great times but have found that after the initial influx of interest, it soon descends into eye rolling mediocrity

It takes a thick skin and a lot of patience and we hold out for the decent ones (there are some here!) But for the most part, the advice is to get into the club scene as that is the most rewarding way....you just need to find the right place and event for yourselves

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

I've always said FAB would lose a lot of the time wasters and fantasists if it become a subscription site but that will never happen

As to your visit to VA I've never been but I've only ever heard good things do shocked you Gad a bad visit, my personal experience is all clubs have good and bad days, I think you need to try them at least 3 times to get a real feel for the place

Especially if it's your first ever club visit and others are aware of that they can make a beeline for you making the whole experience unpleasant, I always try and attend any venue for the first time on a quiet night, I'll message or call the venue first to find out what night is usually the quietest as it gives me the opportunity to check out the facilities, get a feel for the place before diving right in

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

Yep can only agree.

Ive even so called friends on the site that have 3 profiles...

Its to get around bans when there blocked from chat rooms etc,

Takes all the fun out of it.

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By *e-funcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Regrettably it’s a reflection of the world in general, just look at social media and the issues the big companies have and they have millions to spend on trying to get rid of spam and fake accounts, regrettably Fab doesn’t have that kind of money so you have to put the work in yourself.

We generally look for well thought out profiles, profiles with avatars and pictures and people who have clearly put an effort into their profile so you know what they are looking for. For me a well thought out profile shows someone who wants to put some effort in and hasn’t just created an account to get their kicks.

Fake accounts are rife, we even have someone who we have met and created a new account and pretended he hadn’t met us!! Very weird.

Just be wary, patient and you will get there.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

On the whole Fab works for me. I know on several occasions I have been ghosted, gaslighted and had it tried on by chancers but that is all part of the charm.

Once in a while you meet real people, you have a great time and enjoy yourself and all the bad shit is forgotten; for a while anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A number of people have asked about VA and our experience. Some may think we are over reacting, but it’s how we felt about the venue. It may have been because the owners were away.

We booked a room and arrived at 7pm, we had never been before and we were shocked at how rundown and dirty the place was. There was an old sign one one door directing us to the front, we drove round and it was completely overgrown, including the car park. There were old dirty sheets covering some windows. We tried calling the club numerous times but no answer.

We were expecting something worth £85, rather than a rundown old building stuck on the side of a busy dual carriage, covered in cobwebs, smelling like a public toilet, tired bathroom and no staff. The bed looked clean but god know what the mattress was like based on everything else.

Looking out the window all we could see was more dirt, more cobwebs, hundreds of cigarette butts on the floor and half full beer glasses scattered around.

Some people may be happy in those conditions but we certainly are not. We felt that we could not stay in the hostel (sorry it can not be described as a hotel), so we turned round a drive the 2.5 hour home. From what we saw, there was no way we would want to get naked in the club.

I am going to unhide our profile for a while as I gather a few are interested.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"A number of people have asked about VA and our experience. Some may think we are over reacting, but it’s how we felt about the venue. It may have been because the owners were away.

Looking out the window all we could see was more dirt, more cobwebs, hundreds of cigarette butts on the floor and half full beer glasses scattered around.

I am going to unhide our profile for a while as I gather a few are interested."

That sounds horrible.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nope.

Been here 14 years as a single and as a couple. Never had any plans to give up although have taken frequent breaks.

A cliche....but you get out what you put in.

Are you being proactive and looking for profiles that you're attracted to, or like many couples, just waiting for incoming messages and then moaning about the quality?

You've had one bad club experience. That doesn't reflect clubs in general or I suspect VA itself.

I can't comment on how your profile looks as a.) you've nor asked specifically for feedback and b.) you've hidden it.

But there are many, many couples and singles having a whale of a time on here and using the site successfully. Anyone can. It just depends on how you choose to use it.

We were very proactive and found numerous males, couples and ladies, but every single one wasted our time. Trying to arrange socials was painful, so we binned them and moved on. I have unbidden our profile for a while.

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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Sorry to hear about your experience, OP. I guess getting time wasters is always a possibility, but once you're able to find that out and block them over time, the genuine and reliable ones will be left and then you can really start to enjoy what fab has to offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my fab experience, love the organised socials and fully immersed In this lifestyle. Always show up if/when I say, read profiles and will not respond if I don't meet the criteria or a couple/single are not for me ( different interests etc ) it was a steep learning curve initially. After some early stumbles though I have made some amazing friends and had some even better experiences that I would never have if I hadn't joined fab.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I was wondering earlier if removing free single male accounts would help?

It’s not like it’s expensive, but might help to filter things a little.

And not allow unverified accounts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A number of people have asked about VA and our experience. Some may think we are over reacting, but it’s how we felt about the venue. It may have been because the owners were away.

Looking out the window all we could see was more dirt, more cobwebs, hundreds of cigarette butts on the floor and half full beer glasses scattered around.

I am going to unhide our profile for a while as I gather a few are interested."

Yeah I don’t think I’d of stayed either.

The first club we went to was on an industrial estate and you had to go up a dark concrete staircase into a very strange building lol

But the club was quite fun lol

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By *immesomemoreMan
over a year ago

basingstoke

I think with fab you just have to use that expression “it is what it is”

Obviously as a single guy I have different issues with it than you. But they boil down to the same kinda thing.

I just find it’s best to dip in and out, then hope for the best.

Good luck with however you proceed.

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By *inkyisfunukMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I’ve drifted away from fab and then come back a few times now. It’s seems to go in cycles, I’ve been through periods where I’ve had many fantastic meets, then there’s been times where it’s been seemingly impossible to find genuine/compatible people. It’s seems to be leaning towards the latter at the moment, but I’m sure things are fine for others. Just got to stick at it I think.

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By *unni6969Man
over a year ago

....

I find with fab you get chatting then the person your talking to inbox probs gets so full your msgs just get lost and I don't like to keep trying to pester.

Iv been on and off as a guy for over 10 years and in all that time only had 1 meeting from here.

But as other have pointed out in that time iv seen a lot more fakes profiles than ever before it's actually hard now to no who is genuine and then you still have to fit what they are looking for.

I generally have a lot more scuess on dating site than on here.

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By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

"We have been here for around 6 months and to be honest, the experience has become more and more depressing as time goes on. We realised that the site was full of fake profiles, ignorant and rude guys that don't or can't read, and time-wasters. We felt like we had loads to offer, (in our opinion are a good-looking, slim, fit couple). We thought that clubs would be the best option, but our first visit to VA was so off-putting that we are now in a position where we are probably just going to give up on the whole idea. Has anyone else had the same experiences, to the point they give up?"
its a game of swings and roundabouts on here,,, some great times and some boring crap times,,, 6 months is not long on here to get used to the way the site runs and finding out all the pitfalls it has on it,,, slowly but surely you will get to know and recognise fakes on here and by asking the same question in different ways you will learn how to get the fakes to trip themselves up,,, just keep at it,,,

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Nope.

Been here 14 years as a single and as a couple. Never had any plans to give up although have taken frequent breaks.

A cliche....but you get out what you put in.

Are you being proactive and looking for profiles that you're attracted to, or like many couples, just waiting for incoming messages and then moaning about the quality?

You've had one bad club experience. That doesn't reflect clubs in general or I suspect VA itself.

I can't comment on how your profile looks as a.) you've nor asked specifically for feedback and b.) you've hidden it.

But there are many, many couples and singles having a whale of a time on here and using the site successfully. Anyone can. It just depends on how you choose to use it.

Thanks for the update. I've never been to VA but that doesn't sound like a great first experience at all. That said I've heard good things about the club itself so maybe it's a case of a post covid situation where things have been left that should have been attended to.

Having read your profile here's my 2p's worth.

You're entitled to your preferences as anyone is but maybe think about how you've worded your thoughts on body size. It does come across a tad negatively and there are probably better ways to express your taste on this.

You make multiple references to clubs which gives the impression that you're experienced in the club scene, yet this post states otherwise. Maybe look to contact couples and profiles that are regular club goers to arrange to attend with them to get better acquainted with things - many would have no issue with this.

Apart from that the profile seems fine - good variety of images and not the usual 'just the female' selection.

Don't give up. Things often take time and will then suddenly fall into place. Fine tune your profile and try the club route again. There's always plenty of posts in the swingers club forum to give you indications of what's on and who attends.

Good luck.

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By *oudandProudCouple
over a year ago

Dunstable

We only use fab to keep in contact with our friends and club events .. we attend jaydees absolutely love it there its a 6 hour round trip so we tend to stay for the weekend.. we just meet and talk with people that are at the club rather than arranging meets on fab .. sorry to hear about your bad experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i still here not had much luck here at all gettold not my type no reply there are a lot of time wasters on here but maybe one day i will meet somene for fun never know

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

I would say give the club another chance as we’ve only ever had great nights there - granted the rooms are basic, but are used more for convenience than a luxury stay away.

The Wyboston Spa hotel has some amazing rooms if you opt for the deluxe ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear VA was grim, we are going there on Wednesday but just for the day. May I ask when you attended? Hope like minded couples close to you both get in touch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its swings and roundabouts on here.

Most people will have some good and bad experiences on here.

6 months isn't that long on the site so my advice is stick with it.

I'm on/off 4 years at this stage and dont consider myself a "swinger" as I've had more coffee meets and attended more socials/mngs than had actual fun. But I know quite a few couples and singles who are enjoying the swinger experience but it takes times, it takes sorting through the time wasters and fake profiles. You do get what you put into it.

Think some people join and think they will be knee deep in cocks and fanny's and maybe some are but quality over quantity would be my advise.

Stick with it and hopefully your fab experience will get better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The whole site has changed over the last couple of years and there are definitely a large number of people/fake profiles just on here for a laugh which is the main reason for the change...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear VA was grim, we are going there on Wednesday but just for the day. May I ask when you attended? Hope like minded couples close to you both get in touch"

The Wednesday day session is certainly the best time to attend VA...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear VA was grim, we are going there on Wednesday but just for the day. May I ask when you attended? Hope like minded couples close to you both get in touch

The Wednesday day session is certainly the best time to attend VA..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes sometimes I feel the same. My first visit to a club was an awful experience, and I would estimate probably 8 out of 10 guys disappear or stand me up. I joined in April 2020 though, and any long-standing member I’ve chatted with has said that it has changed since the pandemic and is absolutely full of fantasists and guys who think it’s an easy shag/hookup site, and that it used to be so much better. It’s why fab really isn’t a priority to me and if a meet drops out I don’t rush to fill the spot x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear VA was grim, we are going there on Wednesday but just for the day. May I ask when you attended? Hope like minded couples close to you both get in touch"

It was around 3 weeks ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes sometimes I feel the same. My first visit to a club was an awful experience, and I would estimate probably 8 out of 10 guys disappear or stand me up. I joined in April 2020 though, and any long-standing member I’ve chatted with has said that it has changed since the pandemic and is absolutely full of fantasists and guys who think it’s an easy shag/hookup site, and that it used to be so much better. It’s why fab really isn’t a priority to me and if a meet drops out I don’t rush to fill the spot x"

Exactly this...

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By *eeds fun guyMan
over a year ago

yorkshire

Absolutely! It started off really fun with a few interesting meets. Then after two no-shows and multiple fakes, it's become boring...yet we are still here, hoping for it to get better! "

You guys sound and look gorgeous keep the filter on and the nice guys and girls will come to the top

good luck x

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By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago

N Peterborough.

You guys sound and look gorgeous.... "

Agreed.

It is difficult on fabs but it is worth persevering. We've met some lovely guys and couples despite the timewasters and no shows.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"A number of people have asked about VA and our experience. Some may think we are over reacting, but it’s how we felt about the venue. It may have been because the owners were away.

Looking out the window all we could see was more dirt, more cobwebs, hundreds of cigarette butts on the floor and half full beer glasses scattered around.

I am going to unhide our profile for a while as I gather a few are interested."

Did you actually go into the club? Unsure by what we read/misread..

We've been to VA twice now and had a fantastic time on both.. Will utterly agree with your evaluation of the exterior of the place mind! Looks grim to say the least..

Inside the club however was clean and well laid out. We wouldn't hesitate to go back, but reservations on staying there from what you've said..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear VA was grim, we are going there on Wednesday but just for the day. May I ask when you attended? Hope like minded couples close to you both get in touch

It was around 3 weeks ago."

Thank you, keep at it, as others have said, great profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be quite underwhelming at times, probably best to have low expectations of any attempts at contact and it can only get better from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fab works for us ...we use the tools provided ....we play often cant remember the last let down ...

we have a process we stick to when meeting in that process its easy to find out who fake whos note who wanking whos not and whos dreaming and whos not..

we block we block anyone we are not interested in we block any bad status profiles we block peopole who bad mouth others we block block block..

and that where our success have been the block button its like s in the garden you remove the s same thing on here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to the guys who have problems thats not the site fault that theres a massive imbalence come on guys the only reason its hard for you is because there are so many of you add in that most of you aint got a clue about swinging and join for sex on a plate then its alway going to be hard ...very very hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many timewaserrs and chatterboxes but I do still find a few good people who actually do meet after chatting.

The rude disrespectful people do my head in BLOCK and Report list is getting longer.

Happy Fabbing all men have Dick's but not all of us behave like one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

Been here 14 years as a single and as a couple. Never had any plans to give up although have taken frequent breaks.

A cliche....but you get out what you put in.

Are you being proactive and looking for profiles that you're attracted to, or like many couples, just waiting for incoming messages and then moaning about the quality?

You've had one bad club experience. That doesn't reflect clubs in general or I suspect VA itself.

I can't comment on how your profile looks as a.) you've nor asked specifically for feedback and b.) you've hidden it.

But there are many, many couples and singles having a whale of a time on here and using the site successfully. Anyone can. It just depends on how you choose to use it.

Definitely not a time waster here and you certainly have a nice sounding profile and some equally nice pics too

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By *immesomemoreMan
over a year ago

basingstoke

Oh yeah, I know I’m ten a penny

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By *azzolatinoMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I’ve been on the site a while now with not much luck after a long break. Had lots of fun first time round but not this time…Avarage guy, avarage cock, but I think my biggest downfall frankly is my honesty on my profile. All the stuff couples and ladies avoid.

1. Height…I could lie but what would that achieve

2. Relationship status…

3. Bi-sexual

Constructive criticism of my profile is welcome!

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I love fab, I have this account and also a couples account. Do prefer going to clubs though and don’t fully rely on fab by any means. Have only ever have positive experiences in clubs, going alone and as a couple. There are plenty of nights to cater to what you might be looking for.

Use your filters accordingly. Do the searching yourself if you don’t want the masses messaging you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve been on the site a while now with not much luck after a long break. Had lots of fun first time round but not this time…Avarage guy, avarage cock, but I think my biggest downfall frankly is my honesty on my profile. All the stuff couples and ladies avoid.

1. Height…I could lie but what would that achieve

2. Relationship status…

3. Bi-sexual

Constructive criticism of my profile is welcome! "

I think you should start your own thread if you want advice…

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"A number of people have asked about VA and our experience. Some may think we are over reacting, but it’s how we felt about the venue. It may have been because the owners were away.

Looking out the window all we could see was more dirt, more cobwebs, hundreds of cigarette butts on the floor and half full beer glasses scattered around.

I am going to unhide our profile for a while as I gather a few are interested."

Did you actually go into the club? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im up n down its not fabs fault tho its my own my time and availability is becoming less and less

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

Been here 14 years as a single and as a couple. Never had any plans to give up although have taken frequent breaks.

A cliche....but you get out what you put in.

Are you being proactive and looking for profiles that you're attracted to, or like many couples, just waiting for incoming messages and then moaning about the quality?

You've had one bad club experience. That doesn't reflect clubs in general or I suspect VA itself.

I can't comment on how your profile looks as a.) you've nor asked specifically for feedback and b.) you've hidden it.

But there are many, many couples and singles having a whale of a time on here and using the site successfully. Anyone can. It just depends on how you choose to use it.

The challenge for couples meeti_g couples is God knows how many diaries to co-ordinate.

4 adults minimum, children of varying ages, add in school and work commitments and you'll begin to see the challenge.

Patience (lots) and due diligence(lots)

Winston

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I think that is one of the reasons why clubs don't appeal to me. Herds of unattached males who, having paid their £40 entrance fee, expect somone elses wife is going to agree to fuck them. On the other hand groups known to each other probably find it a social event.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Nope.

Been here 14 years as a single and as a couple. Never had any plans to give up although have taken frequent breaks.

A cliche....but you get out what you put in.

Are you being proactive and looking for profiles that you're attracted to, or like many couples, just waiting for incoming messages and then moaning about the quality?

You've had one bad club experience. That doesn't reflect clubs in general or I suspect VA itself.

I can't comment on how your profile looks as a.) you've nor asked specifically for feedback and b.) you've hidden it.

But there are many, many couples and singles having a whale of a time on here and using the site successfully. Anyone can. It just depends on how you choose to use it.

The challenge for couples meeti_g couples is God knows how many diaries to co-ordinate.

4 adults minimum, children of varying ages, add in school and work commitments and you'll begin to see the challenge.

Patience (lots) and due diligence(lots)

Winston

Wise words!

And don't forget that with couples you have four people that will need to be attracted to each other. Nobody should ever take one for the team, hence it's often trickier to arrange than threesomes and 1-2-1meets between singles.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

V.A was the first club I went although about 4 years ago,

Apart from the location and old looking building it was clean inside compared to the 2 other clubs I've been to and the staff very friendly,

As for meeting and timewasters, I'd stick to people who have met a number of people themselves, (say 5 plus and recent meets)

Maybe even meet them at a club for a social if they don't turn up just chat with other people and treat it as just a night out and putting your faces on the club scene, Book a local hotel so if the social goes well you could all go back to your hotel if you don't like the idea of playing at the club

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Bye then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

Been here 14 years as a single and as a couple. Never had any plans to give up although have taken frequent breaks.

A cliche....but you get out what you put in.

Are you being proactive and looking for profiles that you're attracted to, or like many couples, just waiting for incoming messages and then moaning about the quality?

You've had one bad club experience. That doesn't reflect clubs in general or I suspect VA itself.

I can't comment on how your profile looks as a.) you've nor asked specifically for feedback and b.) you've hidden it.

But there are many, many couples and singles having a whale of a time on here and using the site successfully. Anyone can. It just depends on how you choose to use it.

The challenge for couples meeti_g couples is God knows how many diaries to co-ordinate.

4 adults minimum, children of varying ages, add in school and work commitments and you'll begin to see the challenge.

Patience (lots) and due diligence(lots)

Winston

Wise words!

Absolutely. 4 way attraction is probably the biggest challenge of all.

Winston

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We have been to VA a few times and the club itself is one of our favourites. It’s got a nice vibe and we have had some fantastic experiences in there.

We’ve not stayed at the hotel but I wouldn’t use that as a reflection of the club itself. We’ve stayed at the Wyboston Spa hotel down the road and that’s been great.

In terms of meeting people, you have a very broad meeting scope…singles, couples can meet Mrs alone or part of a couple. So I can see that being a little confusing/off-putting to some. Is Mr in or is he not!

In regards to FAB, use it for your benefit…we use several other options, so we don’t rely on here. You have the FaF brigade, the fantasists and also decent people…it’s just about ing through them.

We chat and chat to people to establish they are on our wavelength and so we’ve not had any horror experiences yet.

It’s all about developing connections and some people you’ll want to play with and others you’ll just want to chat.

You both look in good shape and if you lived closer we’d possibly be up for meeting but certainly happy to chat.

Maybe going to a club with another couple would work better. Maybe talking it through with others would help.

You’re welcome to send us a message…

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Also we’ve been to quite a few clubs and each one can change depending on the night you go.

It sounds like you didn’t get to attend the club, being put off by the hotel, which does sound grim.

But the rooms are just an add on…the club itself is very clean…

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

Gave up on trying to arrange meets on fab around 10 years ago.

We use the site to our advantage now.

As a means to keep in contact with people we have met or to keep an eye open for any parties that may interest us.

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By *mudge354Man
over a year ago

Mid Sussex

Fab used to be really good but like others have said there are a lot of fakes and no show. Its so hard to get a genuine meet. I do feel very disheartened by it all.

I have had more luck on FPP.

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By *anshee99Woman
over a year ago

all over

I've never seen VAs accommodation but the club itself is one of the cleanest and most modern I've visited out of 20+

I don't rhink you should let that put you off clubs for life. Try somewhere else or book a Premier Inn. They aren't designed to stay over in and alot that offer it are a basic added on option

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Gave up on trying to arrange meets on fab around 10 years ago.

We use the site to our advantage now.

As a means to keep in contact with people we have met or to keep an eye open for any parties that may interest us. "

That just about all I use fab for now

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By *sLillyMrWolfeCouple
over a year ago

near you...

"I was wondering earlier if removing free single male accounts would help?

It’s not like it’s expensive, but might help to filter things a little.

And not allow unverified accounts. "

If this means a discount for couples and girls, then we're all for it.

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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

Why was VA such a disappointment?

We have been 3 times, first was good, 2nd was awful, 3rd was Bi night and brilliant.

As for Fab you do have to tolerate the crap, there are some normal (us) folks on here. I do get your frustration

MR R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say that we have necessarily given up, but if anyone wishes to meet us, they will certainly have to stand out from the crowd and most definitely be required to make some effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why was VA such a disappointment?

We have been 3 times, first was good, 2nd was awful, 3rd was Bi night and brilliant.

As for Fab you do have to tolerate the crap, there are some normal (us) folks on here. I do get your frustration

MR R"

I agree totally, I have never had a disappointing visit to the VA, I do go to their midweek daytime session though, which on all accounts is better... But you are right us normal folks do get little frustrated with this site of late...

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By *ilfMan
over a year ago

GLOUCESTER

Eh, tbh you'll get fakes, time wasters etc everywhere. Coming out of lockdown I noticed a lot of genuine swingers leaving and a lot of insecure people joining just for attention, to dish out their snap/insta details, as well as couples with serious relationship problems that won't be solved by swinging.

Go to an organised social and do try clubs again. We have the best experiences and times with people met at those.

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By *orkcoastguyMan
over a year ago

Bridlington.

What a shame. You look like a hot couple and I urge you to stick it out a bit longer.

One learns to recognise the fakes and idiots but there are lots of really nice and sexy people on here.

Hang on in here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sorry to read that you’ve had this experience, especially since you seem to be a genuinely decent couple. I met some great couples when I was on here pre-covid (2019) and I hope they would say positive things about me, and I know they’d met other guys and had brilliant experiences with them too.

So, there are good people on board the good-ship FAB, but it seems that since covid, they’re hidden amongst even more dross, as chancers and charlatans now proliferate.

It would be a shame to see you go, but wish you the very best with your onward journey. Otherwise, do drop me a message

good luck!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I gave up on the club scene, but that was because I fall in to the unwanted category of ‘straight single guy’

Fab can be a bit of a slow burner at the best of times though, and even now, some people are only just starting to feel happy about meeting others since the pandemic. I wouldn’t give up if I were you, as you do look like an attractive couple. Just hang out in the forums and chat shit, you’ll find people to connect with soon enough. There’s no rush is there?

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

VA is actually quite nice inside to be fair, however from the outside it does look like a derelict pub.

personally i'd never stay in accomodation at a club as you kinda know your in a bed thats been well used for want of a better word

theres a few hotels nearby to stay in and either drive to club or get a uber

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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

The whole site has changed over the last couple of years and there are definitely a large number of people/fake profiles just on here for a laugh which is the main reason for the change..."

I was reading a thread on the forum today....and there lots of single guys proudly stating "if their wife knew they were on here she'd kill me"!! To me that's not a swinging site attitude...more like Tinder

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"Regrettably it’s a reflection of the world in general, just look at social media and the issues the big companies have and they have millions to spend on trying to get rid of spam and fake accounts, regrettably Fab doesn’t have that kind of money so you have to put the work in yourself.

Fake accounts are rife, we even have someone who we have met and created a new account and pretended he hadn’t met us!! Very weird.

Just be wary, patient and you will get there. "
Good point, it is a reflection of society.Clubs are the same whether sex or night clubs. Some nights are good, some nights are rubbish. And further, you get out what you put in...

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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

Like a few people on here I have looked at your profile...you are a good looki_g couple....dont give up

Mr R

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"I was wondering earlier if removing free single male accounts would help?

It’s not like it’s expensive, but might help to filter things a little.

And not allow unverified accounts. "
The OP also mentions couples that stood them up,are you also going to remove free couple accounts as well? I honestly don't know what you will be filtering. The OP got the same bad experience when they visited a fee paying club. Making this site a fee paying/subscription site will not out idiots.Idiots have money as well!

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

FS is a harsh place...... should be more help and info for people on how to navigate around this site ?

could help improving this site by getting rid of multiple fake profiles... blokes who s hobby is posting pictures of their wives... hard to separate the genuine people ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/06/22 19:35:32]

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By *tinerant scribeMan
over a year ago

County Durham

My first dozen or so experiences on sites and at clubs were hit and miss, but more miss. Things improve but it does take time.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

As David Soul said “don’t give up on us baby”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have basically given up on fab for meets, many years ago everything just seemed easier now it seems so time consuming.

We stay as we enjoy the forums and if the urge takes us we visit a club although that is very rare now.

You'll know deep down if you want to carry on or give up and put it down to experience.

Good luck with whatever direction you choose.

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Thinking of giving up yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The (quite unexpected) amount of phobia on here is killing it (for me).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/06/22 20:25:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over 5 years and not one meet for figure x

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By *issitCouple
over a year ago

Banbury

Hey OP, we’ve been on fabs for around 4 years I think, swinging for around 15. The whole thing is a journey and you Learn all the time. We dip in and out of fabs as life allows. Much of the feedback given is very valid, Fabs is just one part of this hobby. We’ve been lucky to meet some awesome people and have generally managed to filter the time wasters, although we’ve all had a few!

Take a break, and see how you feel a bit further down the line.

Best of luck with your saucy journey x

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm happy with my pace on here. It suits me but even if it didn't that wouldn't be the fault of the site.

I've never been to a club so can't comment on any of them but if I was continually having issues with timewasters and fantasists I would be inclined to look at the common denominator which would be me.

I've been here 5 years and never once been stood up or been a no show and I can guarantee there are many many others who can say likewise.

If something was happening over and over I might start thinking about looking at my own approach and start vetting those I'm talking to differently.

How many different definitions for timewaster have we had on here over the years?

It can mean many things including wasting your own time.

There have been a number of threads advising guys how to behave on here and how they can improve things for themselves. The attitude has always been that women and couples don't need a strategy or a guidebook because they will be inundated with messages and requests regardless.

Of course they will but apparently not with the type of messages and requests they actually want so maybe the no strategy, winging it approach isn't working for many.

Every thread started by a man complaining about his lack of success after 6 months is met with comments about how 6 months is nothing and patience and effort is required.

Surely the same applies across the board to everyone?

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Im a single fella on here so at this stage im only on here for the craic on the forum as I've slightly given up on getting meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the same for all the genuine people on here, be it couples, women, men, CD/TV's

Im on another site and posed the same question...

Perhaps the whole lockdown and now financial disruption is putting a strain on perpole.

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By *laze.esqMan
over a year ago

Local

This my single profile as on here with gf aswell but we don't live together. I certainly struggle by myself to meet people (can't blame anyone for liking the gf more than me).

We have been to a few clubs and we like VA. Had both ends of the spectrum of nights. Bi night we could barely move for people and was a little over whelming and then where nearly everyone was in the hottub but both were really good nights

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By *laze.esqMan
over a year ago

Local

I should also mention that even after a few years on here as a couple there has only been a select handful of singles that we found to be reliable. Keep trying and talking to people it's usually worth the work

Shame I'm not closer to you.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Have a look into the club and parties it saves fab for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

28 years on the scene mainly looking for guys in those 28 years there are only about 5 guys we call friends ...

thats how hard it can be to find reliable guys ..

as for couples all that we call friends are from the scene that was about 20 years ago all real meet swingers all really good friend we all communicate we all share info on who to avoid ... we all say how hard it is to meet couples today some of us no longer bother and only meet in clubs ... meeti_g couples is hard unless you have no preference and meet anyone .. alot of couples seem to have lost the swing content

woman on woman fun on fab forget it most single women on here are not here to swing its more complex (not saying thats wrong) ... best way for fem on fem is gay clubs /gay nights

theres no right or wrong on how to use the site but its watered it down people admiting they are only on here to chat and have a laught others to stroke there ego some to troll and just pissed people of ..to swing you have to wade thru all that to get to what the site was about in the first place ..... swinging

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"A number of people have asked about VA and our experience. Some may think we are over reacting, but it’s how we felt about the venue. It may have been because the owners were away.

Looking out the window all we could see was more dirt, more cobwebs, hundreds of cigarette butts on the floor and half full beer glasses scattered around.

I am going to unhide our profile for a while as I gather a few are interested."

It's very sad that your first experience of the Vanilla Alternative had you feeling the way you are feeling.

I have been attending since the very first month they opened, I am in no way affiliated with the club but I do attend the Milf club on a Wednesday regularly.

The venue itself is absolutely beautiful inside and has been luxuriously renovated and redecorated in the last couple of years.

I have always found the hotel rooms, and the club interior to be spotless.

Did you have a look around the Club facilities and playrooms?

The owners and the team are always doing everything they can to ensure a clean environment for everybody, I'm not sure of the circumstances of your visit, but my experience over the last almost 12 years has been very different.

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By *iptoptottyWoman
over a year ago

Watford, Herts

I have been to quite a few clubs, including the VA, and always found them spotlessly clean. As users of the facilities you are also expected to clean up behind yourself.

Have you ever considered that every mattress on every hotel bed has probably had a fair amount of people having sex on them? So this could be a rather generic thought and not just levelled at the VA?

Clubs are based in the most unusual of places. In my experience they can be old buildings, on industrial estates, on farmland, beside busy roads. Whatever the location of the club though, the interiors, play areas and services provided have always been scrupulously clean. The owners of these clubs go to huge efforts to make their clubs welcoming. I am so shocked that you appear to be in the minority about the VA. I suspect you “ewww” at everything. Maybe clubs aren’t for you with that attitude?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just hold on I got like that about fabs but I hide my profile come back in December and had some lovely meets but then again out of the wood work come the time waste people I Laugh about it now as I only meet at clubs then yesterday looking through the looked at Section and I see a gentleman who was not Verified red Flag but I text him and so glad I did was a gem

so will be seeing again as after all it's fun site so just keep going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree with all the comments

Was on around 5 years ago was awesome then, people chatting and meets easy to come by.

Roll on now, face peoples snd rude people instant delete must be single guy pretending

Not sure why it gone down hill

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By *aughtyAlex2021Woman
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

Hey. Some advice from me as a single female. I think your profile sounds, want for a better word, stuck up. It reads we don't like a, b and c. It doesn't sound inclusive as in being part of an experience. Maybe it's just me but profiles from some couples are far too negative. It might put genuine people off if you come across as too judgemental. We are after all, human.

It's OK to state what you don't like but maybe reword some of it?

No offence, but I wanted to be honest. You have some lovely photos as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just think if 70 to 80% of all guys were to leave fab there would still be to many and for as long as there are too many men will always have it hard ...

bearing in mind 60 70% of women dont meet or swing on here better add in that proberly half them are fake anyway..

the the fact more and more couples are not meet via fab and since covid many more couples wont play with guys in clubs..

its just not looking good for guys and the only reason is the sheer number of men or the lack of couples and women ... go back just 10 years it would have been 50 men per women go back 20 years it would have been 15 men per woman go back 28 years and when it was mainly off the net you persomally knew all the men who played local as it was that small of a crowd couples were by far the biggest group.....

so there it is the whole scene is very unbalenced and the problem is people not being truthful by saying theres someone for every one and there is clearly not add up the swingi_g couples and ladies not those who just talk or catch up (and rightly so) and that group of already low numbers become even lower its mad it then feels like 1,000 to one not 100 to one..

so truths need to be told rather than buttering people up oh change your profile oh change your pics and on and on its not helping....it like filling a football stadium and picking 22 to play football thats alot of guys getting nowhere on that day ...

fab gives you the tools and platform to use the problem is not fab its just the shear onesided-ness..

new one ive seen today is equal opportunities for men ??? (on fab) how ?? lol when the figures are so wild and out of control to give men on here equal opportunities then all women on here will be on there backs 24/7 and even then not even a quarter of men will get lucky ...

i only got up for a cup of tea and a wee lol im going back to bed ...zzzzzzzzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s a lot of negative vibes in this site. From the threads/posts that echo all the stereo typical behaviour on here. I read it in updates too.

I find it hard to actually approach the question directly ‘do you fancy meeting for sex?’ For fear of breaking some kind of rule on a website that’s specifically here to connect people for this.

I tend to agree with you op, to a point. It’s certainly not as active as it was for this. Right now, for whatever reason, people do a lot of talking on here. I like talking though, so I’m lucky. I also like sex, so feel like i would benefit more being on Twitter.

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By *IG G77Man
over a year ago

GATLEY

I'm just here to get to know people in forums and maybe find some new friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny how the responses are different when a couple not a single guy posts criticism.

6 months post pandemic and heading to a recession, war in Europe and energy bills through the roof yet I guess you two are sick of searching for your unicorn already?

Every hobby, passion or interest will have its small percentage of idiots but overall fab has been an amazing place to meet awesome people and have some crazy experiences but you have to put the effort in!

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By *l MateMan
over a year ago

Sheffield Centre

I've seen a few fake couples profiles. Blatantly a single man offering a glory hole service. I put it on my status update, but it was removed after a few hours.

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By *istressCaraWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"Sorry to hear VA was grim, we are going there on Wednesday but just for the day. May I ask when you attended? Hope like minded couples close to you both get in touch"

Rest assured.. grim doesn’t belong in any description of VA whatsoever. You will have a lovely afternoon.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think you just quickly realise that quality meets and relationships are about time, timing , patience and effort. It’s not easy , and it shouldn’t be easy if you have self respect, but it is a huge amount of fun and very rewarding.

I’ve never felt like giving up, I continue to meet amazing people , I’m just in no rush and have a busy life outside of fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear VA was grim, we are going there on Wednesday but just for the day. May I ask when you attended? Hope like minded couples close to you both get in touch

Rest assured.. grim doesn’t belong in any description of VA whatsoever. You will have a lovely afternoon."

Thank you Cara, I’m sure we will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No everyone on here is fake

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We've been on here a couple of years now, recently deleted profile and started again, yes there are time wasters although just because someone changes their mind I don't automatically assume they are wasting time, I have done it myself,got chatting then found it's just fizzled out and I'm not that into meeting anymore.

As for the dirty room yes I'd not stay either, but have you thought about attending local social get togethers that could be a good way to meet people.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been on and off here for 8 years and it's got worse with fakes and rude men over time! (I say men because I've never come across a rude couple on here but I am sure there are some). It seems very quiet at the moment too - ill probably give up on it soon.x

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By *istressCaraWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

[Removed by poster at 07/06/22 08:17:39]

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By *istressCaraWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"A number of people have asked about VA and our experience. Some may think we are over reacting, but it’s how we felt about the venue. It may have been because the owners were away.

Looking out the window all we could see was more dirt, more cobwebs, hundreds of cigarette butts on the floor and half full beer glasses scattered around.

I am going to unhide our profile for a while as I gather a few are interested."

I would like to address each of your comments from both your posts in a structured format:

1. ‘Loads to offer’. Everyone has something to offer. Swinging is most definitely not based on height, weight, age and one’s inflated ego of themselves. A true swinger values the friendships, community, ability to speak freely and openly about their inner fantasies within the safety net of true lifestyle members. True swingers form great friendships that run much deeper than vanilla ones.. which now brings me to .. VA.

2. I’m completely confident the ‘number of people’ who have asked you have, and never will.. visit a club. However, we are all blessed you have unhidden your profile.. honoured in fact.

3. Thank god the club doesn’t have a neon sign outside on the main road saying ‘Swingers Hotel - please enter here and wait at reception’. It’s called ‘discretion’. It’s a self check in.. for this very reason.

4. Regarding the ‘assumption’ of the bed hygiene. Breathable yet waterproof coverings are on everything which are changed every stay (obviously!) Give me a bed there over a Day’s Inn or Travelodge any day of the week.

5. You didn’t enter the club, nor visit the nothing but incredible LUX Lounge.. you merely based all your assumptions on tiny part of the vast club, being one room..and the discreet entrance. Therefore.. your ‘review’ of the club is only based on 10% of its facilities. I’d like to add.. NO I am not affiliated with the club in anyway.. merely someone who has been lucky enough to experience it many times.

My conclusion:

True swingers enjoy EVERY aspect of the lifestyle. They are positive thinkers, polite and maintain deep friendships for life based on soul connections.. not merely because they are ‘allegedly’ Good Looking/fit/attractive. My lifestyle friends come from all walks of life however.. we are ALL equal and have the upmost respect for each other. If I need help, it’s ALWAYS a lifestyle friend who is at my side. From breakdown, plumbing, electrical, taxi or legal help.. I’m never a ‘damsel in distress’ with my lifestyle friends.

My advice:

Change your catchment settings to eliminate fakes.

Only leave a fact based review when you have experienced the entire ‘business’.

However, and more importantly.. look at yourselves from the inside out a little more. Beauty comes from within.

MC xx

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

In my experience, Fab comes in waves. There is a wave when you've got loads of people interested, you narrow it down and maybe get one or two meets out of it - I call this wave "a feast". Then, as you can imagine, come "famine", when you're no longer flavour of the day/week/month, nobody wants to talk to you and even your regulars seem too busy.

It would be great if there was the "happy in-between" wave, but that never happens

OP, regarding your VA experience- I've never stayed in the hotel room so can't comment, but have been to the club a few times. It is not my favourite due to lack of private lockable rooms and the fact that some men can be very "in your face". I agree with the outside appearance but I guess it has been left like that on purpose not to attract any unwanted attention. As plenty of clubs that I know do not look much from the outside. They're also, usually, away from prime areas which doesn't help their appearance.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Comes in stages I find. At moment it’s really slow for meeting a single lady into trans lady I find.

Meeting men though is super easy

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By *otfitbmthcoupleMan
over a year ago

Blandford

It's difficult when there are obvious fake profiles on here. Our rule is now, if someone isn't face verified we won't engage in coversation. Why would you not do that?

We are struggling to find a couple we want to meet with on the 17th.. Whats wrong with us...

We just keep getting people saying, we can't really commit...

Sigh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does get frustrating at times. We've been on and off the site a few times over the last couple of years.

Not sure if it's just us, but we seem to see new local profiles pop up regularly and they virtually have the same description of "I am a woman and would like to meet men and couples". Pretty much word for word apart from the genders etc swapped around. Makes us think these are being created by a bot or something to keep the numbers and interest up. Not real people at all

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We only really use fab as a social network. Somewhere to share our pics and make friends as well as keep in touch with club friends.

We very rarely actually used it to arrange meets. We'd announce any club visits we were making and would chat with people also going. But we'd expect those people to not show on the night. If they did then great! Otherwise we'd get chatting to people face to face.

I think this is probably the best way to use the site in order to avoid frustrations.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

Forgot to mention, Lux Lounge in summer is the best place for some naughty fun in the sun on this side of Dartford crossing

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Nope.

Been here 14 years as a single and as a couple. Never had any plans to give up although have taken frequent breaks.

A cliche....but you get out what you put in.

Are you being proactive and looking for profiles that you're attracted to, or like many couples, just waiting for incoming messages and then moaning about the quality?

You've had one bad club experience. That doesn't reflect clubs in general or I suspect VA itself.

I can't comment on how your profile looks as a.) you've nor asked specifically for feedback and b.) you've hidden it.

But there are many, many couples and singles having a whale of a time on here and using the site successfully. Anyone can. It just depends on how you choose to use it.

This really!

I know it may be a little different as a couple - but genera Speaking I’ve had a blast on here. As I’ve evolved and wanted different things (a few quality friendships rather than one offs with the hottest guys imaginable at the beginning) I’ve changed my profile accordingly. I also message people I think I’d connect well with - I don’t wait for them to come to me.

So far I’m still loving it. When I don’t I take a break. Simples. Good luck op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fab has its peek times and off times its normally in tune with the kids being on holiday /breaks from school that has always been the case and the big sporting advents and festivals and just generally events do cause a slow down on fab ...but if your a swinger then all your eggs are not in one basket theres other ways to get meets many other ways

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

I've met some really nice people on here, I realise I'm not at the top of most peoples lists but I hang on in there! As for fakes there's a lot of them and I've been led up the garden path and had no shows but I'm still here, so stick with it

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

Same here.

Started off fun now full of idiots,fakes and timewasters.

People that cant take no for an answer and really pushy people.

Some think just because they message you and you replied you owe them a meet.

We are here just to chat on the forums now and maybe have the odd meet.

Used to be a good site.

Him

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By *ucifer40Man
over a year ago

LONDON

I probably am going to call it quits too here , been here for a good 6 months too and probably contacted most of the single woman on here and they just seem not bothered . I had high hopes for fabswingers but a well ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s full of weirdos on this site. I get people have their kinks but they just make things awkward with how they talk to others. Full of piss tramps begging for accommodation, money or as well.

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By *arry monk40Man
over a year ago

Telford

Yep I think most single men have

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By *arried-BBW-LookingWoman
over a year ago

fun town

Yes I’ve deleted various profiles a few times now, I’ve come close with this one too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep I think most single men have"

I’ve given up on the idea of Fab. I’ve not given up on the people I talk to.

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By *sLillyMrWolfeCouple
over a year ago

near you...

"I probably am going to call it quits too here , been here for a good 6 months too and probably contacted most of the single woman on here and they just seem not bothered . I had high hopes for fabswingers but a well .. "

Sorry but you get out what you put in and you seem to have made zero effort on your profile. There are thousands of guys on this site - what makes you special? Put it on your profile and you might find people getting interested x

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I found my first club visit strange but I'll try again. My fab experience had been fabulous meeting single men. I have met really interesting and wonderful people. Met only one couple and unfortunately the chemistry wasn't quite there. My experience communicating with couples has been very hit and miss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people come on here with too many wants desires demands with a profile that is as long as war and peace !! they certainly dont look in the mirror first thats for sure !! Then you have the lonely FB lot that just want a friend to chat . Then those who build a profile but have no intention on meeting ...

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"We have been here for around 6 months and to be honest, the experience has become more and more depressing as time goes on. We realised that the site was full of fake profiles, ignorant and rude guys that don't or can't read, and time-wasters. We felt like we had loads to offer, (in our opinion are a good-looking, slim, fit couple). We thought that clubs would be the best option, but our first visit to VA was so off-putting that we are now in a position where we are probably just going to give up on the whole idea. Has anyone else had the same experiences, to the point they give up?"
there are genuine guys on here and cples but there’s a ton of total knobs too who will mess everyone around intil the genuine ones get sick to death of the expense and inconvenience and end up leaving. Its sickening but they seem to get a kick out of it. I could rant for hours but I won’t - i hope you get some decent meets as the goid meets are amazing

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

Fab has changed over the many years I have been on here, my third profile.

When I joined many years ago I had a lot of fun, met people for socials which then led to play, either at a later date or very occasionally straight after the social. I met couples and single females, I never wasted anyone's time and never had mine wasted either. As others have said, you get out what you put in. Too many people want instant gratification, for me it's been about building friendship.

I don't spend much time on fab anymore, I have become much more choosy on those I contact which appears to be very few. I realise my age is probably against me also, not that I'm using that as an excuse, but at the moment I am putting very little in. One thing I have learnt is to never have expectations, if I message someone I never expect a reply. I am also on a fetish site and have met someone I meet regularly from there. I will occasionally look in on fab as I have had a great time previously, but I never have any expectations and therefore no disappointment.

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

I'm having an awesome time

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By *immesomemoreMan
over a year ago

basingstoke

I didn’t read their profile but agree with this.

Same on dating sites for me, you don’t like xyz. Great. What do you like. What do you bring. What are you looking for. Balance.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Been on here 8 months and only one verification by cam? Sorry not sure it's Fab that needs to change...

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Did you get followed around by the wanking dead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you get followed around by the wanking dead?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab certainly has its ups and downs. I have to agree with your post tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you get followed around by the wanking dead?"
as they rub there cock chanting one of us one of us one of us

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

London

As a single chap it can be depressing too, particularly if you craft a nice, lengthy and considered message and it either isn't read, or there's no reply.

Best not to to take a lack of success to heart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do people set up fake accounts? I get the picture collectors but why lie about stuff on your profile if you plan on meeting? You'll get found out.. and why pretend you want to meet when you have no intention of doing it? That's just weird.

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By *ess King tvTV/TS
over a year ago

KING'S LYNN

"Why do people set up fake accounts? I get the picture collectors but why lie about stuff on your profile if you plan on meeting? You'll get found out.. and why pretend you want to meet when you have no intention of doing it? That's just weird."

Why? Because its the only kick they get. Sad losers who darent or cant come out of their hole. They like to spoil it for others.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"A number of people have asked about VA and our experience. Some may think we are over reacting, but it’s how we felt about the venue. It may have been because the owners were away.

Looking out the window all we could see was more dirt, more cobwebs, hundreds of cigarette butts on the floor and half full beer glasses scattered around.

I am going to unhide our profile for a while as I gather a few are interested.

I would like to address each of your comments from both your posts in a structured format:

2. I’m completely confident the ‘number of people’ who have asked you have, and never will.. visit a club. However, we are all blessed you have unhidden your profile.. honoured in fact.

My conclusion:

My advice:

Change your catchment settings to eliminate fakes.

Only leave a fact based review when you have experienced the entire ‘business’.

However, and more importantly.. look at yourselves from the inside out a little more. Beauty comes from within.

MC xx

Ive never been VA but a few clubs in the U.K. and accommodation at 2 popular ones.

I think there’s this perception to new people ,especially if used to 5* hotels, that U.K. swingers clubs are like high end clubs with luxurious services and rooms .

I was a bit like that , a little shocked at first , it doesn’t bother me in the slightest , I adapt to anything. But women I took to all but one club were like let’s get out of here fast ! They felt vulnerable and until you know people it’s understandable, most are in run down areas and security , facilities , health & safety is way below other hospitality sectors standards.

It’s obvious most clubs are not growing businesses, they are run more for the community than profit, many are BYO and accom is fairly basic to suit people’s budgets.

My 21 year old and her mates will easily spend 200-300 on a night out and another 100 accom, but swingers want things cheap.

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

i do feel sometimes , and probably when lockdown was in full swing folk turned to the internet for the social life, perhaps we use it like a pub/going to the pub.

chat , banter , shout , swear , be rude , argue , complain, get barred or banned , it all happens here just like in the pub .

more so i guess as you can be online onfab d*unk in charge of your computer, i call it booze in brains out, like myself not many read privacy policy , site rules , small print etc etc and i'm sure type a lot of things in chat rooms and forums whilst having had one to many which they may not type totally sober, likewise people may open accounts for what seems like a laugh at the time.

not sure if that made sense

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By *arried-BBW-LookingWoman
over a year ago

fun town

"I think people come on here with too many wants desires demands with a profile that is as long as war and peace !! they certainly dont look in the mirror first thats for sure !! Then you have the lonely FB lot that just want a friend to chat . Then those who build a profile but have no intention on meeting ... "

I agree it looks that way, I can only speak for myself I never had any rules on my profile but I receive hundreds of messages and I’m nothing special, God knows how many messages others receive, so I had to put some rules or requirements on mine x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much given up as realigned my expectations..

nah...given up..

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By *omersetPlayfulCouple
over a year ago

Frome

Fake accounts are rife, we even have someone who we have met and created a new account and pretended he hadn’t met us!! Very weird.

That is indeed very weird!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have started to give up as the fun doesn't seem to be there these days . Fun socials and having a giggle seem to have drifted away unless you go to a social advent.

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By *aui.Man
over a year ago

around here

This thread is interesting. A while ago it was only single guys posting the "I've been here 6 months and..." threads. Lately though I've seen it a few times from couples and women alike.

Maybe the site has changed over the years but I don't know, there have always been timewasters and assholes.

Same as I've said to many single guys posting this thread. It takes time and effort but it's definitely worth it when you click with the good ones. Fortunately once you've been here a while it definitely becomes easier.

Also, not surprised you didn't stay at the club. That doesn't sound appealing at all. Although I've never been so can't comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a waste of time no one cares on here about you, your judged and most of the time it’s not good, so I have given up on this site, oh and I’ve but the effort in but alas I’m still judged like I’m a fake and not worth the time of day

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

I have very few expectations now.. been on here a long time and I’m just getting older …

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By *lim and louiseCouple
over a year ago

dromore

Absolutely! It started off really fun with a few interesting meets. Then after two no-shows and multiple fakes, it's become boring...yet we are still here, hoping for it to get better! "
you need to check more ,of any potential partner,partners phone calls where both party's chat to each other when it's only texts ,it could be anyone

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By *lim and louiseCouple
over a year ago

dromore

Don't put to much in it,we make a list of potenti_l mates and chat to just them ,then make a shorter list of the ones the Mrs likes ,followed by phone calls ,video calls socials,

If any refuse to meet or come out with excuses at the beginning ,bin them if your after a couple speak to both party's women together ,men together

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By *amsiMan
over a year ago

Hanworth

"We have been here for around 6 months and to be honest, the experience has become more and more depressing as time goes on. We realised that the site was full of fake profiles, ignorant and rude guys that don't or can't read, and time-wasters. We felt like we had loads to offer, (in our opinion are a good-looking, slim, fit couple). We thought that clubs would be the best option, but our first visit to VA was so off-putting that we are now in a position where we are probably just going to give up on the whole idea. Has anyone else had the same experiences, to the point they give up?"
Hi, I find that as a single guy on here it is hard enough to find a couple willing to meet up with as it is, there are a lot of time wasters and fakes who make it hard for a genuine guy to show attractive couples like yourselves that we are out there, don't give up just yet, feel free to PM me for a chat.

Sean xx

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By *ucifer40Man
over a year ago

LONDON

[Removed by poster at 08/06/22 19:06:43]

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By *r9inchMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent/south cheshire

I’ve given up on fab. Completely full of time wasters, women and couples are just as bad as the blokes by the sounds of things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree.

Too many fake profiles, rude and ignorant people and time wasters.

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By *mooth4uMan
over a year ago

Kings kynn

Just about. Recently single and I think I fell out of the fuck ugly tree , no-one genuine is interested . I know it’s more male than female but it’s not about individuals it’s about scores on the doors .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've give up tonight.It seems being honest and decent doesn't work on here.You have to be the very thing they all complain about and thats the Billy Bullshitters who are just after notches on the bedpost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I've gave up in general, came here to meet people and find out what it's all about... can't even get my profile verified never mind invites to clubs or meet ups

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people wont go with people where theres no attraction you cant make people like you ??? also its all so easy to say im genuine im a good guy im decent thats ok for you to say but means nothing none one knows you until they see an attraction and talk and meet then people can judge for themselves ..... no one going to listen to a guy say hey im genuine ... but not got anything to offer ?? not rocket science think its the one scene that because of sheer numbers of men we can safely say there is not someone for everyone ....blunt but truth

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By *jekimMan
over a year ago

Wigan

I'm not far off especially with all the fakes an pic collectors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We been here 10yrs and its deffo not the same

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

This is my 5th incarnation, and now as an older gent, I have found it to be very difficult.

So much so that I have stopped looking and now just stick around for the social side and forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've given up on here a good few times but somehow I usually come back again x in fact I've been on and off here more times than a brides nighty lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just got to that stage in the last week or so. Its become a bit stale on here but I can't bring myself to leave.....

Just want to chat, flirt and enjoy the pictures and forums but its soooooo quiet!!!

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Sorry to hear about your club experience OP but there's a lot of venues that you could try. We get to our chosen club as often as we can and always have a great time without having to arrange anything.

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By *S chanel demarTV/TS
over a year ago

peterborough

I'm very close to leaving, I have my reasons, shame but hey-ho.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Yeah I've gave up in general, came here to meet people and find out what it's all about... can't even get my profile verified never mind invites to clubs or meet ups "

Why do you need an invite to a club?

Surely you can just go. You don't need to be asked.

So many 'adults' post that they want to try a club but apparently need someone to hold their hand!

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By *abaTheSlutMan
over a year ago

South Shields

I've been here for over 14 years and, as already said, it's a reflection on society.

When I first joined swinging was still quite taboo, Fab wasn't a well known site and was much more of a community than it is now. As swinging became less taboo and found its way into mainstream media that was slowly spoiled, with the ratio of men to women becoming very high, and most of those men just here for bedpost notches.

Both singly and with my partner I do still have successful meets, it just takes more work to find other genuine swingers. But nothing is easy these days however the reward is more than worth the effort.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Can’t see why your having problems , wish we were younger , yes there are plenty fakes on here , we had a few mishaps when we first started , not tried VA so we cannot comment , there is another club about 8 miles from VA , called Jaydees , more descrete location we have been there about 20 times ,need we say more have a look at their page on site

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Well.

168 (now 169) comments and having scrolled down the whole thread I can't see any 'UNLOS' comments......

So I'm guessing as is often the case it's a question of people moaning about the site and saying they're giving up....but not actually leaving.

If what you're doing isn't working then change what you're doing.

If you've changed it and it's still not working then change it again.

Trial and error, inputs and outputs, work out what works and ditch what doesn't.

Or just leave. Fab will still be here and you can always come back.

Many do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, we have had the exact same experience as you. We went to a club the same but without success. So now we're still here but don't hold any hope of meeting anyone....

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

OP the thread is coming to a close (nearly at the magic 175) so hopefully you've gained some insight from the comments.

If you were willing to travel to VA from your location (if it's where I think it is in Hampshire) then maybe try an alternative that's a similar distance - Xtasia. On-site accommodation or nearby hotels and there's a free night by the looks of it at the end of July.

It's been a long while since our last visit (life, work, other commitments etc.) but we're considering making a long overdue return and you won't find better owners than Paul & Flirt.

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

We had a couple of timewaster induced breaks during our time here, first joined around 9 years ago. Yet it certainly has got much worse this last three years or so !!. So many so-called 'genuine' folk are just pic collectors or single guys posing as couples. The usual sign is trouble arranging even a social meet, one excuse after another... Had a few socials over the last few months yet the first was the usual case of misleading photos, we could hardly recognise her !!. Had a few last minute let downs too, and you guessed it, no rearranged meets. Another thing on the rise is damn bad manners and lack of basic communication skills...

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By *ilthy brownieMan
over a year ago

yours

Harder for as I'm Asian but I still have a little faith there are still genuine people here ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me almost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep

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