FabSwingers.com forum: Our Kink BDSM Corner

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A little group for flame free chats on KINK / BDSM.

Let’s keep it friendly , judgement free. If kink isn’t your thing, no need to read on.

Whether you’re new, curious or experienced feel free to add your thoughts , questions , experiences.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ll start the conversation off:

When did you discover you were kinky or into bdsm?

I didn’t realise I was kinky or into bdsm. I always thought it was for judges or politicians wanting to get spanked. I had zero idea there was a whole community with wide range of interests. Meeting people online , then attending kink clubs was a revelation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP, sounds like our kind of corner. We are both very kink friendly.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

Good luck with this. In the 7 years I have been on Fab there has been a number of attempts to have a BDSM room that have been ignored. Also the biggest problem has not been a lack of respect but people mentioning what could be framed as criminal activities particularly assault. So any conversation has to navigate that parameter or it may be closed by the mods. I fully support kink education.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll start the conversation off:

When did you discover you were kinky or into bdsm?

I was "into it" before I really knew what "it" was. There has always been certain parts incorporated in to my sex life. I was definitely naive and clueless to a lot though including like you said, there being a whole community.

Pxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am what's termed a 'soft Dom' meaning I am not into heavy BDSM (no pain, permanent marks (for others to find) etc.

For me, the Dom/sub dynamic is one I first got interested when I was seeing an ex work colleague as our own marriages had become very stale and vanilla.

We were chatting about what we enjoyed and the subject of the Dom/sub came up. Its something we'd never tried before so began to explore. Purchased some restraints, blindfolds, handcuffs, crops etc items from Ann Summers and read anything we could get our hands on and started pushing some boundaries. Unfortunately her husband was promoted and they moved out of the area. My wife (at the time) had no interest in this kink, so I left the bag of items outside a charity shop ( I still smile when I think of the old woman who must have opened the bag in the morning....)

and put my desires to the back of my mind.

Fast forward to about 3 years ago, and I met a woman who was keen to explore the same 'soft Dom/sub' dynamic, swinging, role play and sex clubs. This renewed my interest and we purchase various items from Love Honey. We had just started playing again when Covid and Lockdown kicked in ruining it all. We have since gone our separate ways but I still retain the restraints etc (she kept the role play outfits - well they wouldn't fit me!).

Now that we appear to be past the worst of it, I was recommended to join fab swingers hoping to find a woman interested in exploring similar kinks to me.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I started off with outdoor sex many many moons ago. But when I saw my first wax play picture on here 3 years ago that ignited my interest and its snowballed from there, many many labels later I am settled in my BDSM journey and long will it continue

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good luck with this. In the 7 years I have been on Fab there has been a number of attempts to have a BDSM room that have been ignored. Also the biggest problem has not been a lack of respect but people mentioning what could be framed as criminal activities particularly assault. So any conversation has to navigate that parameter or it may be closed by the mods. I fully support kink education.

Thank you for sharing what’s happened here in the past. And being mindful that other people outside of our community have limited understanding and that includes Mods.

I hope we can also be welcoming to those curious to kink bdsm too .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Regarding terminology , i know the bdsm community like to use defined descriptions of our role : master , dom, daddy, top etc

I find we all have a little bit of everything. And we sometimes can’t be pigeon holed, as some might want us to fit into.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Thank you for sharing what’s happened here in the past. And being mindful that other people outside of our community have limited understanding and that includes Mods.

I hope we can also be welcoming to those curious to kink bdsm too . "

Us mods follow the rules that admin ask us to. It's nothing to do with limited understanding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I started off with outdoor sex many many moons ago. But when I saw my first wax play picture on here 3 years ago that ignited my interest and its snowballed from there, many many labels later I am settled in my BDSM journey and long will it continue

what a shame I'm outside your preferred age range....would love to explore the Dom/sub dynamic with you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I have always been submissive, but only discovered myself about 12years ago, very late to the party, I think it’s a mindset for myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I discovered that it was at the inner core of myself when I was 17 - a long time ago.

Unfortunately my life has been mostly of the vanilla flavour, but when I have found someone with similar tastes it has always made me the happiest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I have always been submissive, but only discovered myself about 12years ago, very late to the party, I think it’s a mindset for myself."

I hope you’ve been having some fulfilling enriching experiences. Over the years, the subs I’ve connected with all wanted something different.

I’ve found this lifestyle more so about being transparent , non judgmental and honest in a dynamic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have always been submissive, but only discovered myself about 12years ago, very late to the party, I think it’s a mindset for myself.

I hope you’ve been having some fulfilling enriching experiences. Over the years, the subs I’ve connected with all wanted something different.

I’ve found this lifestyle more so about being transparent , non judgmental and honest in a dynamic."

I’ve had some experiences…. One enriching….

It makes me laugh when people say true Dom or true sub as I think if 2 people come together and are compatible then they make what they both want from the relationship, there’s no right or wrong in my eyes we all seek different things that’s what makes us unique, I’d never expect my next Dom yo be the same as my last

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I have always been submissive, but only discovered myself about 12years ago, very late to the party, I think it’s a mindset for myself.

I hope you’ve been having some fulfilling enriching experiences. Over the years, the subs I’ve connected with all wanted something different.

I’ve found this lifestyle more so about being transparent , non judgmental and honest in a dynamic.

I’ve had some experiences…. One enriching….

I whole heartedly agree. Every dynamic is unique. And should be based on mutual enrichment. Regardless of the titles we give ourselves or present to others .

I do enjoy the deeper connection we kinkster thirst for .

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

I have attended paddle and chains events at OP4F in the past and occasionally there has been a Dom with his sub it was a eye opener for someone like me who knows very little about BDSM.It may be something that I may look to get into but I am not into receiving pain or giving pain but perhaps controlling a sub maybe best for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have always been submissive, but only discovered myself about 12years ago, very late to the party, I think it’s a mindset for myself.

I hope you’ve been having some fulfilling enriching experiences. Over the years, the subs I’ve connected with all wanted something different.

I’ve found this lifestyle more so about being transparent , non judgmental and honest in a dynamic.

I’ve had some experiences…. One enriching….

I whole heartedly agree. Every dynamic is unique. And should be based on mutual enrichment. Regardless of the titles we give ourselves or present to others .

I do enjoy the deeper connection we kinkster thirst for ."

I agree, I thinks if someone captivates me mentally the physical comes naturally, I also love the openness and connection that can be shared.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

what a shame I'm outside your preferred age range....would love to explore the Dom/sub dynamic with you..."

Thank you. Most importantly though. What makes you think that I am submissive...

My thoughts below are not directed at you BTW.

This is also an important part of BDSM people cannot assume that the other person is what you think they might be, it's not until you actually meet face to face that you realise how the relationship might form, Clear Consise Communication is the only way forward

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have attended paddle and chains events at OP4F in the past and occasionally there has been a Dom with his sub it was a eye opener for someone like me who knows very little about BDSM.It may be something that I may look to get into but I am not into receiving pain or giving pain but perhaps controlling a sub maybe best for me "

Thank you for sharing your experience. BDSM isn’t always about pain. Plenty of dynamics, where pain is absent. Kink BDSM for me provides a greater depth of mutual understanding, pleasure and enrichment, where vanilla sex and relationships seems In adequate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

what a shame I'm outside your preferred age range....would love to explore the Dom/sub dynamic with you..."

This is a good example where there is a little understanding of kink bdsm people, that the time, thoughtfulness, shared values that is required to engage a person beyond looks, attraction and age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have more experience in kink than swing or sex things

Was heavily involved in the local scene and helped out at munches and events

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By *iberius61Man
over a year ago

Pontefract

How did I discover? No idea, I've been part of the community since the early days of the Internet, usenet newsgroups, irc, informed consent and various Web chatrooms have come and gone.

I've seen changes from a niche group who mostly knew each other, up to an almost mainstream activity. There's still a core, people for whom it's a way of life, the rest just dabble to some extent, but as long as everyone is having fun, it's all good.

Of course, this is a swingers site. Although SM and Spanking are listed as interest, quite often people have a different meaning to a more dedicated BDSM channel

...but then, BDSM people don't know how to spank properly anyway

(that's kind of an in joke BTW)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have more experience in kink than swing or sex things

Was heavily involved in the local scene and helped out at munches and events "

Hopefully we will discover more of us kinky people on Fabs .

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

Looking back I have always been in the lifestyle. I'm not extreme however. But it has only been the Internet that has allowed me to put labels on things. And meet and chat to like minded people

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By *bwgirlygirlWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I can't pinpoint when. I've always wanted sex that wasn't ordinary. I always felt like the sex I was getting wasn't enough or rough enough and anything new or over what you would call a normal threshold I thoroughly enjoyed. I enjoy all submissive aspects whether it be me or subs that I play with. For some reason I enjoy all aspects of bdsm and become very sadistic when the opportunity arises. I've been lucky enough to have done some wonderful things and met some amazing people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Looking back I have always been in the lifestyle. I'm not extreme however. But it has only been the Internet that has allowed me to put labels on things. And meet and chat to like minded people "

I’m intrigued to know what you consider extreme . Please do best in mind that Fabs has rules on what’s deemed acceptable .

I ask because kink bdsm is s wide topic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Open question; do you friends k who you’re kinky or into bdsm ? What misconceptions would you think they’d have ?

For me only my best mate knows I’m kinky, but he’s disinterested so we don’t discuss it .

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

I'd ideally like to to meet two Doms but it seems most don't like to share, which kind of makes sense. I would say I'm in a bit of bind, except I'm not unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd ideally like to to meet two Doms but it seems most don't like to share, which kind of makes sense. I would say I'm in a bit of bind, except I'm not unfortunately

Myself and an ex Dom’d a MF couple some years ago. It was just a one and fun. We like to reflect on experiences and thought the dynamic wasn’t right.

On other occasions I’ve organised kink Gangbang meets where some of the guys saw themselves as Doms or sadists. Nobody got greedy or selfish, all respectful of peoples time to play with the sub lady.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"Open question; do you friends k who you’re kinky or into bdsm ? What misconceptions would you think they’d have ?

For me only my best mate knows I’m kinky, but he’s disinterested so we don’t discuss it . "
. As far as I am aware none of my family & friends know that I am on Fabs and that I have what I would call a naughty side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Open question; do you friends k who you’re kinky or into bdsm ? What misconceptions would you think they’d have ?

For me only my best mate knows I’m kinky, but he’s disinterested so we don’t discuss it . "

Most people I consider friends these days know I am kinky as met them through the kink scene, some know I am on here

Some family know but rarely discuss

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

"Looking back I have always been in the lifestyle. I'm not extreme however. But it has only been the Internet that has allowed me to put labels on things. And meet and chat to like minded people

I’m intrigued to know what you consider extreme . Please do best in mind that Fabs has rules on what’s deemed acceptable .

I ask because kink bdsm is s wide topic "

I would class extreme as anything involving poo or blood. I don't consider myself as a Sadist.

In relation to your post about people knowing. I have restraints fitted to the bed permanently. I always answer questions honestly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Looking back I have always been in the lifestyle. I'm not extreme however. But it has only been the Internet that has allowed me to put labels on things. And meet and chat to like minded people

I’m intrigued to know what you consider extreme . Please do best in mind that Fabs has rules on what’s deemed acceptable .

I ask because kink bdsm is s wide topic

I would class extreme as anything involving poo or blood. I don't consider myself as a Sadist.

In relation to your post about people knowing. I have restraints fitted to the bed permanently. I always answer questions honestly "

I would love to have under bed restraints that I can easily use. But most meets I have are at my partners place or hotels.

I would agree extreme for me would include blood and poop. Not my cuppa. I do often say that pain isn’t a necessity to consider being kinky or into bdsm. 80% of kink is in the mind. Being able to stimulate the mind creatively.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I would like to put an alternative view, because there is an orthodoxy appearing in kink discussions.

I would hope people would not use the word "extreme" in relation to kink as it has embedded value judgment, and an element of kink shaming particularly in relation to body waste. People should just state what they are not into and leave it that,

As for kink being largely in the mind. I would challenge that statement. I again wish people would say, in their own personal need for kink it is mainly in the mind. My experience is that it is not an universal, and it is no different from the mental element of any relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Total kinkster here! With the right kinky partner! Xx

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By *nicorn_100Woman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I think I have always been submissive, but only discovered myself about 12years ago, very late to the party, I think it’s a mindset for myself.

I hope you’ve been having some fulfilling enriching experiences. Over the years, the subs I’ve connected with all wanted something different.

I’ve found this lifestyle more so about being transparent , non judgmental and honest in a dynamic.

I’ve had some experiences…. One enriching….

We all know there are ‘real’ and ‘fake’ doms, and the damage fake ones can do.

But I do also think there’s a difference between those who are naturally sub and those who roleplay.

As long as it’s clear which they are there’s no problem.

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By *rsTrellisWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

This is nice. Thanks for creating the chat OP.

I’ve been exploring kink and BDSM for about four years. I’ve been immensely luckily to learn from kind, patient, filthy fuckers!

Now, it’s very important to me. I like vanilla sex too but I wouldn’t want to be without kink/BDSM.

My friends know I’m kinky. They don’t usually know how kinky.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Open question; do you friends k who you’re kinky or into bdsm ? What misconceptions would you think they’d have ?

For me only my best mate knows I’m kinky, but he’s disinterested so we don’t discuss it . "

Yes and they are a mixture of kinky and vanilla

Where I'm not into pain, that helps my vanilla friends loads with their understanding of my alternative view on life, it's just another quirky part of me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinky sub here however I tend to avoid putting it on here, mainly because of one pretty bad experience with a so-called "dom". I am starting to get out and about in my local kink scene though and hoping in time to find a play partner to enjoy that side of life with but we'll see. All I want is a proper spanking, is that too much to ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are just starting on our journey together. We are kinky experimenters really and switch a lot. The world of BDSM is fascinating and definitely inspires a lot of our activities.

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Submissive here. I have been for a long time now and I just see it as how I am.

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

I am nurturing a sub at the moment. She knows she is sub and she knows that she needs that in her life. The reason I know is because we have had Frank discussions and she knows that firstly her previous relationships have been unfulfilled sexually, she has a submissive nature, she has experienced a flogging, the pain was enjoyed and she said afterwards she was the most relaxed she had ever been and wants that in her life. She has also visited sex clubs and although she did not play, she felt relaxed amongst like minded people, was not intimidated by those around her engaging in full sex. She loved dressing up and said she felt safer there than at an 'ordinary' club as there she would get touched inappropriately whereas there consent to play/kiss/touch was obtained.

This is where previous authors of posts are correct, evert sub is different. She wants to be exclusive to her Dom, she doesn't want a relationship again, however she needs to feel something for him and to enjoy his company awa from the bedroom. For example company,meals out,cinema. There is no pressure on the Dom to be monogamous although she would be.

It's taking some work but I think it might be worth it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would like to put an alternative view, because there is an orthodoxy appearing in kink discussions.

I agree peoples personal experiences, interests, is personal. It’s difficult to speak for other people, so we can only speak from our lived experience.

I agree on your views of value judgements. And, I spoke from my personal view point. Kink is rife of making judgements as much as any other community. This for me just says, we can all do better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Total kinkster here! With the right kinky partner! Xx "

Welcome Ruby , and totally agree that any dom and any sub isn’t going to work by luck. I think it takes work to get to a dynamic that provides enrichment.

For me I’ve found kink dynamics more open, and judgement free then I’ve had in vanilla relationships. I think when I got comfortable with my kinks, that trepidation of saying something to a potential partner that would put them off, lessened.

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By *iberius61Man
over a year ago

Pontefract

"...All I want is a proper spanking, is that too much to ask

No, it's not too much to ask, I think my main advice would be that the spanking community is actually a different community to the BDSM one. Spankees often just want spanking, not Domming. Sure there's some crossover, but we really do consider ourselves different and we tend to play differently. 'He spanks like a BDSM person' is kind of a mild insult, but more a recognition that there's a difference.

Maybe look for someone who describes themselves as a Top rather than a Dom. But I've yet to find a town that doesn't have a spanking community.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like an anal eextravaganza

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...All I want is a proper spanking, is that too much to ask

Maybe look for someone who describes themselves as a Top rather than a Dom. But I've yet to find a town that doesn't have a spanking community. "

I do enjoy impact play that’s including bare hand , flogging , riding crop to name. I wouldn’t class myself as a spanking specialist as my interests are beyond doing that.

If you’re seeking an aficionado for spanking certainly seems clear one needs a specialist but if one is seeking a person to just give a good spanking whilst he / she knows how to hit the right spots, a specialist might be more then required.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like an anal eextravaganza"

Sounds delightful. If you don’t mind, please tell us more .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you OP

It's lovely to see a thread around kink/BDSM that seems to have some chance of surviving

I've been really lucky to meet amazing people and have amazing kink experiences with lovely people from this site. Not only that, it has allowed me the chance to reconnect with old friends with whom I had lost touch.

So good on you for kicking it off and I hope it goes well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you OP

It's lovely to see a thread around kink/BDSM that seems to have some chance of surviving

So good on you for kicking it off and I hope it goes well

Thank you. It’s appreciated. I’m more active on that other site we don’t mention here. Im hoping with experienced kinkster on fabs, we can share our passions with fellow kink folk as well as those curious .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, there's a lot of cross over and there are a lot of people that are shy about coming forward about being kinky etc etc

But hey, if we can give people a place to find the discussion and maybe point them in the direction and answer the questions when they come up, we can all share the joy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like an anal eextravaganza

Sounds delightful. If you don’t mind, please tell us more . "
i like putting my hand up womens bum holes then doing curls with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for posting this! I’ve recently realised there are parts of my being which I have been keeping suppressed for years. I experienced my first dungeon of sorts at the weekend and it stirred something within in me which I feel I need to explore. I’d be keen to hear privately from someone who can help me navigate the direction I think I’m going in

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you for posting this! I’ve recently realised there are parts of my being which I have been keeping suppressed for years. I experienced my first dungeon of sorts at the weekend and it stirred something within in me which I feel I need to explore. I’d be keen to hear privately from someone who can help me navigate the direction I think I’m going in

Glad it was an enriching experience. It’s understandable that you are seeking private chat with someone that can help. It might help, if you said if you were the dominant person or the submissive in the activity you had in the dungeon.

I wish you much joy in your new kink bdsm journey .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish you much joy in your new kink bdsm journey . "

Thanks and I know there may not be many who’ll chat about it, but I’ll continue my search. I’ve joined a seperate well known site to see where that goes too

As for the dungeon, I was very much the submissive!

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By *iberius61Man
over a year ago

Pontefract

"...I wouldn’t class myself as a spanking specialist as my interests are beyond doing that.

It's a tricky one, and perhaps comes down to what the op means by a 'proper spanking'.

First, I'd say that you have other interests, rather than saying that your interests are 'beyond that'. BDSM impact play isn't spanking plus...it's a totally different game. In the same way that triathlon is not cycling plus.

OK, again, depends on the meaning the op intended, but if she wants a proper spanking (and that doesn't necessarily mean a severe one), then seek a spanking specialist.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...I wouldn’t class myself as a spanking specialist as my interests are beyond doing that.

It's a tricky one, and perhaps comes down to what the op means by a 'proper spanking'.

OK, again, depends on the meaning the op intended, but if she wants a proper spanking (and that doesn't necessarily mean a severe one), then seek a spanking specialist. "

Just to ensure you don’t put words into my mouth, because I’m fully capable of what what I mean.

I am interested in spanking and plus .

Just as much as I enjoy cycling and swimming plus running .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am nurturing a sub at the moment. She knows she is sub and she knows that she needs that in her life. The reason I know is because we have had Frank discussions and she knows that firstly her previous relationships have been unfulfilled sexually, she has a submissive nature, she has experienced a flogging, the pain was enjoyed and she said afterwards she was the most relaxed she had ever been and wants that in her life. She has also visited sex clubs and although she did not play, she felt relaxed amongst like minded people, was not intimidated by those around her engaging in full sex. She loved dressing up and said she felt safer there than at an 'ordinary' club as there she would get touched inappropriately whereas there consent to play/kiss/touch was obtained.

It's taking some work but I think it might be worth it"

Thank you for sharing your journey. Your experience very much sounds like the experiences I find enrichment from. She must be elated that there is someone that understands her needs. And for you to be able to fulfil that.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I was "into it" before I really knew what "it" was. "

Definitely this, I was having spanking fantasies when I first started school.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"I would like to put an alternative view, because there is an orthodoxy appearing in kink discussions.

I'm into several areas of edge play (the much preferred term for the areas of play with higher risk factors), and believe me there are many areas of edge play that have nothing to do with bodily excretions of any kind.

And even if they are, it's all down to a person's individual kink, risk awareness and informed consent... (See what I did there)

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

I mean. Some of us do that too

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

"Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

And kink and D/s is not the subtext to Harry Potter? Bad dom 'he who cannot be mentioned", good dom Harry?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

It says on your profile you’re fetish friendly. Do you dress up in cosplay Mr C?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very much sub. Been trying to find someone regular who is sexually dominant. It's a hard task

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm very much sub. Been trying to find someone regular who is sexually dominant. It's a hard task"

Thanks for sharing.

Have you always been ? Or something that you’ve started to explore ?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I'm very much sub. Been trying to find someone regular who is sexually dominant. It's a hard task"

That’s me too.

Looks like I just found my favourite fab corner.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm very much sub. Been trying to find someone regular who is sexually dominant. It's a hard task

That’s me too.

Looks like I just found my favourite fab corner."

Welcome Dee ,

Always a warm welcome to our kinky members .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll start the conversation off:

When did you discover you were kinky or into bdsm?

The first time I noticed was because of catwoman I batman returns, than in my teens had a thing for bondage and fetishwear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll start the conversation off:

When did you discover you were kinky or into bdsm?

The first time I noticed was because of catwoman I batman returns, than in my teens had a thing for bondage and fetishwear."

The only reason to sit through that film

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

It says on your profile you’re fetish friendly. Do you dress up in cosplay Mr C?

I do a mean Father Ted

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London

I've only become aware of this side of myself in the last 2 and a half years, after coming out of a 12 year relationship.

So far most of the guys I've met with are more generally dominant rather than being a Dom, if that makes any sense. What I have come to realise very recently is that I crave a man who will love and adore me and always have my best interests at heart, but who will also give me the fuck of my life. The guys who do fuck me the way I want, ultimately have their own interests at heart unfortunately.

But Im having fun exploring new things and people while I'm on my journey. X

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

And kink and D/s is not the subtext to Harry Potter? Bad dom 'he who cannot be mentioned", good dom Harry?

Well that just made those films a lot more interesting!

Mistress Hermione and her boy Ron

Hagrid and his Pet Play friends

The Bratty Weasley boys

The sadistic Tom Riddle

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

It says on your profile you’re fetish friendly. Do you dress up in cosplay Mr C?

I do a mean Father Ted

Would you like a cup of tea, father?

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"A little group for flame free chats on KINK / BDSM.

Let’s keep it friendly , judgement free. If kink isn’t your thing, no need to read on.

Whether you’re new, curious or experienced feel free to add your thoughts , questions , experiences.

Great idea for a thread. Should be a permanent one going.

Well, I have a spanking fetish (as a top) - any fellow spankos which to discuss give me a shout.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"I’ll start the conversation off:

When did you discover you were kinky or into bdsm?

I've always been interested in kink and BDSM. I've read a lot over the years but my husband was a total prude and didn't like anything out of the ordinary.

My partner after my husband was open to a little spanking but it never went any further.

It was only when I became single and found fab that I found the man who has now become my Dom. He is very experienced and helped me find what I enjoyed and what I don't. He has worked with me to allow me to develop my tastes and explore new things I was curious about. It's still most definitely a work in progress for me and I have a long way to go.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm not really sure what I am in terms of labels. Kind of newish. I'd like to explore more but for me it's about finding suitable partner(s).

And being very honest, I've found that when I do have a connection with someone, they're a lot softer with me. Not gentle but not... well trying to keep this thread open.

I don't think I'd want to try things with someone on a casual basis but maybe that's the way to go?

I'm not good at voicing what I would like to because... well people see me as cute, vanilla etc. And I don't like changing someone's opinion of me.

Maybe I just need to get on another site and start getting out there a bit more.

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London

"It was only when I became single and found fab that I found the man who has now become my Dom. He is very experienced and helped me find what I enjoyed and what I don't. He has worked with me to allow me to develop my tastes and explore new things I was curious about. It's still most definitely a work in progress for me and I have a long way to go. "

Aww, i love that for you

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I'm well me, I don't tend to attribute labels to myself all that much these days, I use them as general starting points. I would have sworn blind murder at the beginning I was sub and that's all I was. Which isn't true at all. I think it's all about finding people who are on your own wavelength and experimenting with what it is you like.

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By *ubytuesdaysTV/TS
over a year ago

birmingham

I thought it was all quite normal for quite q while . Mind you my nickname was bonehead an di had a disorder that made me vulnerable to anyon that wanted to dominate me .Nor that it was illegal. My first second boyfriend was in the caterin and club business so knew a lot of foreigners who all had interesting intriguing habits. Met some interesting people who were often helpful. and very friendly ... i didnt realise that people paid to get into clubs and stuff. until I was quite older And i had big tits..

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

[Removed by poster at 06/06/22 19:00:22]

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

"I'm not really sure what I am in terms of labels. Kind of newish. I'd like to explore more but for me it's about finding suitable partner(s).

And being very honest, I've found that when I do have a connection with someone, they're a lot softer with me. Not gentle but not... well trying to keep this thread open.

I don't think I'd want to try things with someone on a casual basis but maybe that's the way to go?

I'm not good at voicing what I would like to because... well people see me as cute, vanilla etc. And I don't like changing someone's opinion of me.

Maybe I just need to get on another site and start getting out there a bit more. "

There are the same issues with other sites, the known one in particular I would recommend for information but not for meeting people one to one. Definitely getting out more is helpful.

Although you may not want to try things on a casual basis (and depending on what those things are) have you thought of attending a respected fetish nights where the house dom/mes have a good reputation and seeing them in action? You can then decide on the basis of what you see whether to use their services.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not really sure what I am in terms of labels. Kind of newish. I'd like to explore more but for me it's about finding suitable partner(s).

And being very honest, I've found that when I do have a connection with someone, they're a lot softer with me. Not gentle but not... well trying to keep this thread open.

I don't think I'd want to try things with someone on a casual basis but maybe that's the way to go?

I'm not good at voicing what I would like to because... well people see me as cute, vanilla etc. And I don't like changing someone's opinion of me.

Maybe I just need to get on another site and start getting out there a bit more. "

Hi Meli

Appreciate you sharing your experiences. I’m sure others will chime in. I do believe kink bdsm is best served as a dynamic rather then a ONS. I have had one -off meets and those worked more for the physical pleasures rather then what I seek of more enrichment and development of a dynamic over time.

You mentioned that people see you as cute and that’s great, but if it isn’t providing the fulfment you seek fully, i do believe a kinky bdsm guy would perhaps be more adapt to understanding you, because they want that too.

I’m just speaking from my experience and interactions I’ve had over the years. And how kink bdsm has enriched me and some of the people I’ve met along the way.

And others may well disagree with me.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I'm not really sure what I am in terms of labels. Kind of newish. I'd like to explore more but for me it's about finding suitable partner(s).

And being very honest, I've found that when I do have a connection with someone, they're a lot softer with me. Not gentle but not... well trying to keep this thread open.

I don't think I'd want to try things with someone on a casual basis but maybe that's the way to go?

I'm not good at voicing what I would like to because... well people see me as cute, vanilla etc. And I don't like changing someone's opinion of me.

Maybe I just need to get on another site and start getting out there a bit more.

There are the same issues with other sites, the known one in particular I would recommend for information but not for meeting people one to one. Definitely getting out more is helpful.

Interested to find out more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are the same issues with other sites, the known one in particular I would recommend for information but not for meeting people one to one. Definitely getting out more is helpful.

I have met most of my subs on that other popular site over the years. It’s far from perfect, but one thing I like to highlight is the benefit is the community is small and people know people . I’ve often had subs get references of me prior to meeting me.

The site also shares details of events and I agree it’s good to get out and meet people.

Everyone has different experiences. I can categorically state I’ve not met anyone on this site in my time here and have barely spoken to anyone in PM.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

There are the same issues with other sites, the known one in particular I would recommend for information but not for meeting people one to one. Definitely getting out more is helpful.

The site also shares details of events and I agree it’s good to get out and meet people.

Everyone has different experiences. I can categorically state I’ve not met anyone on this site in my time here and have barely spoken to anyone in PM. "

It is what you make it and the other site for me is now just an events calendar first and a source of info second.

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag. "

People come in all different shapes, styles etc. It's not like kinky folk look any different to anyone else.

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By *bwgirlygirlWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag. "

What does a dom look like then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag.

People come in all different shapes, styles etc. It's not like kinky folk look any different to anyone else. "

I think some people get a surprise when the people they’re been chatting to fibbed about their age, looking much older then they stated or used heavy filters.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag.

People come in all different shapes, styles etc. It's not like kinky folk look any different to anyone else.

I think some people get a surprise when the people they’re been chatting to fibbed about their age, looking much older then they stated or used heavy filters."

He didn't mention anywhere that the person fibbed. Just on him looking like Roy Cropper, goodness knows what he carries in his bag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, it's all a journey isn't it? I suppose for me it was seeing thumbnail sized pictures of Betty Page tied up in the back pages of an underground comic sometime in the late eighties, or possibly earlier with the illustrations in Steve Jackson FF role play novels. Leather clad vixens in Thigh boots and muscular barbarians...

And look at me know, decades later, a big old meany Dom that loves leading cute little subs around on an 'orrible long length of chain!

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

There are the same issues with other sites, the known one in particular I would recommend for information but not for meeting people one to one. Definitely getting out more is helpful.

The site also shares details of events and I agree it’s good to get out and meet people.

Everyone has different experiences. I can categorically state I’ve not met anyone on this site in my time here and have barely spoken to anyone in PM. "

My experience is the opposite.

When I sat down and thought about my relationships, most of my subs and people that I have topped or been a rope top, have been Fab members who I met swinging. A few I met after talking on the forums.

The others I met at kink events.

My interest being rope the site has a wealth of rope information. As you said it has a lot of information on events. Everybody's experience is different.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Feel like it's always been in me. Don't start exploring it til later though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

It says on your profile you’re fetish friendly. Do you dress up in cosplay Mr C?

I do a mean Father Ted

Would you like a cup of tea, father?

Grrrr kinky nuns!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag.

People come in all different shapes, styles etc. It's not like kinky folk look any different to anyone else.

I think some people get a surprise when the people they’re been chatting to fibbed about their age, looking much older then they stated or used heavy filters.

He didn't mention anywhere that the person fibbed. Just on him looking like Roy Cropper, goodness knows what he carries in his bag

I’m simply sharing my lived experience .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Feel like it's always been in me. Don't start exploring it til later though. "

I too discovered kink bdsm in later life. And my learning continues. Hope you’re finding fulfilment.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Didn’t fit into my world until a lady pointed out I had a strong assertive sexual nature.

She taught me about her submissive want which was slightly needy, however the payback was stunning a fantastic introduction in D/s play.

I believe that only a submissive can train a Dom, however that is my experience.

If you need to understand (in my world) bdsm, don’t talk to Dom’s, put five Dom’s in a room and you will come out with nine opinions. Talk to sexually submissive people.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

[Removed by poster at 06/06/22 23:41:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Didn’t fit into my world until a lady pointed out I had a strong assertive sexual nature.

She taught me about her submissive want which was slightly needy, however the payback was stunning a fantastic introduction in D/s play.

I believe that only a submissive can train a Dom, however that is my experience.

If you need to understand (in my world) bdsm, don’t talk to Dom’s, put five Dom’s in a room and you will come out with nine opinions. Talk to sexually submissive people."

In the older high protocol leather communities I believe you were obliged to spend time as sub before becoming Dom

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Kinky pair here, can't say for C but for me I realised when I was about 17 but could never seem to actually live out those fantasies. Met C and we are exploring my kinks from the ground up. We have discovered I'm more of a masochist than I ever believed possible so far and intensely submissive for C.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" I believe that only a submissive can train a Dom, however that is my experience.

If you need to understand (in my world) bdsm, don’t talk to Dom’s, put five Dom’s in a room and you will come out with nine opinions. Talk to sexually submissive people."

I agree with you. However, put 5 subs in a room and you’ll get differing opinions too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Kinky pair here, can't say for C but for me I realised when I was about 17 but could never seem to actually live out those fantasies. Met C and we are exploring my kinks from the ground up. We have discovered I'm more of a masochist than I ever believed possible so far and intensely submissive for C.

Thanks for sharing. I’m intrigued to know what C gets out of being Dom from your dynamic. Is he just pleased to fulfil your masochistic desires. Is there some kink he gets from applying pain.

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By *iberius61Man
over a year ago

Pontefract

"...I believe that only a submissive can train a Dom, however that is my experience."

You need both in my experience. Beginner Doms watch others and pick up tips. But I agree that real practice is required, can't get that without subs. Also as others have said, there's a lot of variation in the scene. Subs, brats, Sam's, littles...so many options, all subtly different.

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London

Good post Sammy; don't want to miss out here so here's my little bit.

I like to explore and spank, tie, gagg, cuff, expose, blindfold, and more. My partner tells me I'm a natural but I don't know what that is like. I just play out what I want and think should happen. I like the intensity as much as the slowing down and reassurance. I definitely hit dom mode when I encounter bratty attitudes or when seduced.

I truly didn't know I had this in me until maybe a year after being on Fab. I think it was after seeing some action in a dungeon at a Sutton party once and stepped through another curtain. I was mesmerised by it all then and just know since that day I want to explore more. Interested in shibari too and quite fancy visiting Peckham.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

" I believe that only a submissive can train a Dom, however that is my experience.

If you need to understand (in my world) bdsm, don’t talk to Dom’s, put five Dom’s in a room and you will come out with nine opinions. Talk to sexually submissive people.

I agree with you. However, put 5 subs in a room and you’ll get differing opinions too. "

Usually more honest and not dim don porn perspective.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Thanks for sharing. I’m intrigued to know what C gets out of being Dom from your dynamic. Is he just pleased to fulfil your masochistic desires. Is there some kink he gets from applying pain. "

C is a Sadist first and foremost with a strong Dominant streak. I was actually a wuss with pain (still am really) but I wanted to please C so I tried it. Sometimes the learning curve is steep other times it surprises me how easily I'm arounsed by it. I have always liked marks, like ownership and C has been able to take that to the next level for me.

He makes me feel safe, cherished and strong when I can provide that for him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

****************

When this Group reaches it’s maximum

I will create a second group

****************

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" I truly didn't know I had this in me until maybe a year after being on Fab. I think it was after seeing some action in a dungeon at a Sutton party once and stepped through another curtain. I was mesmerised by it all then and just know since that day I want to explore more. Interested in shibari too and quite fancy visiting Peckham.

Thanks for sharing Alex and welcome.

I’m glad you and your partner are enriched in your dynamic . I have attended Anatomie when it was in Old Kent Road . I think it’s a great place to learn and practice .

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag. "

You know, thinking about this, still think it's preferable to the dreaded 'Dom belt' which just makes me roll my eyes and giggle...

Especially when the floggers are dangling down far enough to be dragging on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know, thinking about this, still think it's preferable to the dreaded 'Dom belt' which just makes me roll my eyes and giggle...

Especially when the floggers are dangling down far enough to be dragging on the floor

The old "All the gear, no idea"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do subs belittle other subs to elevate themselves ! But doms do be little other doms to elevate themselves.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Do subs belittle other subs to elevate themselves ! But doms do be little other doms to elevate themselves. "

No-one should be belittling anyone unless its part of an agreed upon scene...

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

"I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag. "

well you have to carry the whips & chains in something ?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Its all a bunch of bollocks though isn’t it really?

We think we’re special, but we may as well be Harry Potter cosplayers swishing a plastic wand about gleefully shouting Cruciatus!

It says on your profile you’re fetish friendly. Do you dress up in cosplay Mr C?

I do a mean Father Ted

Would you like a cup of tea, father?

Grrrr kinky nuns!

shush you, I've not gotten around to sorting that outfit yet

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I remember a sub I was seeing telling me about a Dom she met on-line. When he turned up he looked like Roy Cropper from coronation street together with sensible coat and carrier bag.

People come in all different shapes, styles etc. It's not like kinky folk look any different to anyone else.

I think some people get a surprise when the people they’re been chatting to fibbed about their age, looking much older then they stated or used heavy filters.

He didn't mention anywhere that the person fibbed. Just on him looking like Roy Cropper, goodness knows what he carries in his bag

I’m simply sharing my lived experience . "

As am I

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Good post Sammy; don't want to miss out here so here's my little bit.

Have you found any Peer Rope meets near you yet A?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Do subs belittle other subs to elevate themselves ! But doms do be little other doms to elevate themselves. "

I haven’t experienced any belittling of other Doms for the sole purpose of elevating themselves personally. Discussions about their behaviour and if they are a dangerous/predatory person yes - but thats mainly the scene self policing.

But then, you get dicks in all walks of life so it wouldn’t surprise me. And if you have something others want, then yes I expect people will be dickish, but that just shows their character

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I realised the other day that my interest started when I watched Secretary.

I started my kink journey much later in life too, but have found it fascinating so far, over the almost three years I’ve been submissive.

I’ve discovered huge amounts of growth and transformation in my D/s and Ddlg dynamics.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

Thanks for sharing. I’m intrigued to know what C gets out of being Dom from your dynamic. Is he just pleased to fulfil your masochistic desires. Is there some kink he gets from applying pain.

He makes me feel safe, cherished and strong when I can provide that for him.

Exactly our dynamic. John makes me feel safe foremost and also cherished. Being submissive for him not only turns me on more than any other dynamic i have tried but also deeply wanted. He is a strong dom on times and had the marks to prove it. I am also like you a wuss pain wise but nothing gets me wetter than our bdsm sessions. I am struggling in some areas like deepthroat as my gag reflex is horrendous but i keep on trying as i want to please my dom as much as he pleases me. Jo

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Do subs belittle other subs to elevate themselves ! But doms do be little other doms to elevate themselves.

But then, you get dicks in all walks of life so it wouldn’t surprise me. And if you have something others want, then yes I expect people will be dickish, but that just shows their character

Pretty much this... You might hear people say things like MRK did "all the gear no idea" or subs calling someone a dim rather than a Dom...

But that's talking about their attitude/ability as a warning to others.

In my example of the dreaded Dom belt... While personally I think it looks rediculous, it has some serious health concerns.

Even soft suede floggers can cause abrasions, so a flogger dragging on the floor, catching on the stairs poses a sanitary risk (which is further increased if the falls are damaged by the dragging/catching and are not of uniform length or have damaged edges etc)

So wearing one with such dangling appendages shows to me that they don't have any idea of:

- how to care for and sanitise their equipment

- the risks of damage to their equipment

- the risks and implications such damage has on a bottom/sub

All of which means that they can't subscribe to RACK or FRIES.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I realised the other day that my interest started when I watched Secretary.

I started my kink journey much later in life too, but have found it fascinating so far, over the almost three years I’ve been submissive.

I’ve discovered huge amounts of growth and transformation in my D/s and Ddlg dynamics.

Thanks for sharing . The Secretary is certainly a popular movie for kink curious folks. I thought it was well done, even if it has aged a great deal.

The power and influence of the sub getting what she needs and desires, whilst the Dom doesn’t see that’s what’s happening.

I meet mostly independent, career driven ladies in their everyday life , and having this intimate discreet submissive side that they can sink into and surrender.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do subs belittle other subs to elevate themselves ! But doms do be little other doms to elevate themselves.

But then, you get dicks in all walks of life so it wouldn’t surprise me. And if you have something others want, then yes I expect people will be dickish, but that just shows their character

Pretty much this... You might hear people say things like MRK did "all the gear no idea" or subs calling someone a dim rather than a Dom...

But that's talking about their attitude/ability as a warning to others.

In my example of the dreaded Dom belt... While personally I think it looks rediculous, it has some serious health concerns.

So wearing one with such dangling appendages shows to me that they don't have any idea of:

- how to care for and sanitise their equipment

- the risks of damage to their equipment

- the risks and implications such damage has on a bottom/sub

All of which means that they can't subscribe to RACK or FRIES."

I think it’s valuable when subs share even if it’s disparaging . I would say we should hear more of that. My issue is Doms who think they’re better because of their perceived self worth being elevated, discussing 2nd or 3rd hand hearsay.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time"

I was so involved in the scene and all my partner's were scene based that I thought I was no longer vanilla at all...

Then when I met and dated none kinky people I realised it was so all about the connection for me, kinky or not that connection needs to be there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time

I was so involved in the scene and all my partner's were scene based that I thought I was no longer vanilla at all...

Then when I met and dated none kinky people I realised it was so all about the connection for me, kinky or not that connection needs to be there"

Would you class Swingers as Vanilla people ?

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Thanks for sharing. I’m intrigued to know what C gets out of being Dom from your dynamic. Is he just pleased to fulfil your masochistic desires. Is there some kink he gets from applying pain.

He makes me feel safe, cherished and strong when I can provide that for him.

Once upon a time I had my gag reflex fairly well trained, but when C came along I let that all go for a few reasons. #1 He wasn't a fan of head in general, more facefucking so I didn't have time to prep. #2 He likes it when I gag, feels better overall and there is the added power element. #3 once I realised He (and it would appear a lot of men do) enjoyed the gagging so much I didn't worry anymore.

That is obviously us and your Dom may prefer you to keep trying. Singing is a good breath play trainer

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time

I was so involved in the scene and all my partner's were scene based that I thought I was no longer vanilla at all...

Then when I met and dated none kinky people I realised it was so all about the connection for me, kinky or not that connection needs to be there

Would you class Swingers as Vanilla people ?

Vanilla to me is basic monogamous sex

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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago

Sent to Coventry

I’ve found that showing any hint of my sub side on my Fab profile results in a deluge of messages from uninformed men who say they are dominant, without having the slightest idea what that actually means. They all tend to offer to spank me or tie me up.

So much as I’d like to have a BDSM chat space, I fear it wouldn’t work well for me.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Would you class Swingers as Vanilla people ?

They can be...

While being ethically none monogamous isn't a cultural norm, it doesn't mean someone is kinky or has fetishes.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time

I was so involved in the scene and all my partner's were scene based that I thought I was no longer vanilla at all...

Then when I met and dated none kinky people I realised it was so all about the connection for me, kinky or not that connection needs to be there

Would you class Swingers as Vanilla people ?

I kind of dislike how vanilla is used in a derogatory manner towards people. It’s all relative, which is kind of my point.

I could be described as vanilla by some partners.

I understand that language is unwieldy and it’s hard to accurately describe different levels but using terms to dismiss, belittle or demean others sexual activity is a bit elitist and crappy.

I think that there’s always a place for good ‘vanilla’ sex in any situation. It’s the crap sex that’s the issue and that can be at any level of kink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a shame that "vanilla" was used almost in a derogatory way. It is all horses for courses and just because someone else's interested don't align with mine doesn't make them wrong and me right or vice versa.

Like so many things if you asked two people for their definition of "vanilla" you'd get three answers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time

I was so involved in the scene and all my partner's were scene based that I thought I was no longer vanilla at all...

Then when I met and dated none kinky people I realised it was so all about the connection for me, kinky or not that connection needs to be there

Would you class Swingers as Vanilla people ?

I kind of dislike how vanilla is used in a derogatory manner towards people. It’s all relative, which is kind of my point.

I could be described as vanilla by some partners.

I understand that language is unwieldy and it’s hard to accurately describe different levels but using terms to dismiss, belittle or demean others sexual activity is a bit elitist and crappy.

I think that there’s always a place for good ‘vanilla’ sex in any situation. It’s the crap sex that’s the issue and that can be at any level of kink"

Welcome to kink community . We do all the things you say. In my experience. And even within our community, there is category separation, kink shaming and judgements. Kink is a thirst and if one can switch it off for a vanilla lifestyle and relationship for a prolonged period, I’d say one isn’t part of the kink.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"I’ve found that showing any hint of my sub side on my Fab profile results in a deluge of messages from uninformed men who say they are dominant, without having the slightest idea what that actually means. They all tend to offer to spank me or tie me up.

So much as I’d like to have a BDSM chat space, I fear it wouldn’t work well for me. "

I have seen this many times, I tend to take the path of education in those situations and if they aren't receptive they're blocked

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I think it's a shame that "vanilla" was used almost in a derogatory way. It is all horses for courses and just because someone else's interested don't align with mine doesn't make them wrong and me right or vice versa.

Like so many things if you asked two people for their definition of "vanilla" you'd get three answers "

I agree I dislike how vanilla can be used in a bad way. But what other term can we use to indicate that kind of sex? I dislike normal as it makes kink sound abnormal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like so many things if you asked two people for their definition of "vanilla" you'd get three answers "

Kink people do vanilla . Vanilla people don’t do kink.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Like so many things if you asked two people for their definition of "vanilla" you'd get three answers

I agree I dislike how vanilla can be used in a bad way. But what other term can we use to indicate that kind of sex? I dislike normal as it makes kink sound abnormal. "

I like the Vanilla term but I do agree I have seen it used as a slur by the snobbish. I don't think it matters what you call it, there are always going to be elitists in any situation. I try to use terms accurately and save my disdain for "bad sex"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So much as I’d like to have a BDSM chat space, I fear it wouldn’t work well for me.

I have seen this many times, I tend to take the path of education in those situations and if they aren't receptive they're blocked

No one really messages me on Fabs. But I think stating my kink interests in my profile I think scares ladies away.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time

I was so involved in the scene and all my partner's were scene based that I thought I was no longer vanilla at all...

Then when I met and dated none kinky people I realised it was so all about the connection for me, kinky or not that connection needs to be there

Would you class Swingers as Vanilla people ?

I kind of dislike how vanilla is used in a derogatory manner towards people. It’s all relative, which is kind of my point.

I could be described as vanilla by some partners.

I understand that language is unwieldy and it’s hard to accurately describe different levels but using terms to dismiss, belittle or demean others sexual activity is a bit elitist and crappy.

I think that there’s always a place for good ‘vanilla’ sex in any situation. It’s the crap sex that’s the issue and that can be at any level of kink

That’s gatekeeping.

You don’t get to decide if someone is kinky or not.

Claiming that judgement and elitism is part of the community sounds completely contrary to the ethos that this thread was started in, which is about being judgement free.

I heartily disagree with your stance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kink people do vanilla . Vanilla people don’t do kink. "

Is that true? I've known several people who actively describe themselves as "vanilla" and then will openly admit to loving a good spanking in the bedroom.

I think as someone else has said, it came down to "elitism" and it happens all the time in any sub culture, so why would kink be any different.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Like so many things if you asked two people for their definition of "vanilla" you'd get three answers

I agree I dislike how vanilla can be used in a bad way. But what other term can we use to indicate that kind of sex? I dislike normal as it makes kink sound abnormal.

I agree whatever terms you use there will be forms of elitism. Even with submissive people will add true or very sub. Which I never understood what that actually means.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

Very interesting post.

I like dom / sub play but I've only explored it with people I've gotten to know and trust.

For me it's all about the mental side of it, the trust, the desire to please from the sub, the control I've been given by them, the trust they have placed in me.

I guess I'm bdsm light??

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Like so many things if you asked two people for their definition of "vanilla" you'd get three answers

I agree I dislike how vanilla can be used in a bad way. But what other term can we use to indicate that kind of sex? I dislike normal as it makes kink sound abnormal.

I agree whatever terms you use there will be forms of elitism. Even with submissive people will add true or very sub. Which I never understood what that actually means. "

This

The need to be labelled is strong

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I'm a bit of a switch. I've had some fab sessions with pro dommes and played with a number of subs.

What strange is I think I'm naturally submissive but the sessions I remember the most are when I'm playing with subs.

One particular sub was amazing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree whatever terms you use there will be forms of elitism. Even with submissive people will add true or very sub. Which I never understood what that actually means. "

Some people will use it to make themselves feel better, some will use it as tool to exploit a venerable person "if you were a true sub you'd do x y and lots of z"

There can be a lot of ego's floating around in kink and there's often a lot of people with a business interest chasing a small pool of money, so they are going to do what they need to do to raise their profile etc etc

A good friend of mine suggest that there hasn't been a kink "community" now for many years which I think is a really sad thing if it's true.

I know for me personally, access to the internet unlock the world I knew I wanted to be a part of and I think that has happened for a lot of people, but you also have a lot of people that would consider the access that the internet gave to be the death of the kink community. We need fresh bloody to move it forward, but some won't like the direction is moves forward in.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time

I was so involved in the scene and all my partner's were scene based that I thought I was no longer vanilla at all...

Then when I met and dated none kinky people I realised it was so all about the connection for me, kinky or not that connection needs to be there

Would you class Swingers as Vanilla people ?

I kind of dislike how vanilla is used in a derogatory manner towards people. It’s all relative, which is kind of my point.

I could be described as vanilla by some partners.

I understand that language is unwieldy and it’s hard to accurately describe different levels but using terms to dismiss, belittle or demean others sexual activity is a bit elitist and crappy.

I think that there’s always a place for good ‘vanilla’ sex in any situation. It’s the crap sex that’s the issue and that can be at any level of kink

That’s gatekeeping.

You don’t get to decide if someone is kinky or not.

Claiming that judgement and elitism is part of the community sounds completely contrary to the ethos that this thread was started in, which is about being judgement free.

I heartily disagree with your stance"

I agree with this. I knew I was kinky for a long time, since I was 17 - the fact that I couldn't practise until I was 30 doesn't mean I wasn't kinky prior

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like so many things if you asked two people for their definition of "vanilla" you'd get three answers

I agree I dislike how vanilla can be used in a bad way. But what other term can we use to indicate that kind of sex? I dislike normal as it makes kink sound abnormal.

I agree whatever terms you use there will be forms of elitism. Even with submissive people will add true or very sub. Which I never understood what that actually means.

This

The need to be labelled is strong"

I agree kink bdsm folks will argue the need of labels. If the right label is used, there shouldn’t be confusion or misunderstanding. My view is we are complicated people and establishing human values, would be a basis to begin conversations. Whether it becomes a kink dynamic or just platonic friendship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is so much I'd love to do, I haven't explored half as much as I want to, but it's so gorram hard to find people who just want to indulge in a bit of play.

I admit that's partly my fault; I want a bit of kink without any deeper connections.

The amount of (mostly) guys who say they are into it, then just give you a couple of light smacks on the bum and nothing else drives me crazy.

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

Book marking this to come back and read properly later

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I agree whatever terms you use there will be forms of elitism. Even with submissive people will add true or very sub. Which I never understood what that actually means.

Some people will use it to make themselves feel better, some will use it as tool to exploit a venerable person "if you were a true sub you'd do x y and lots of z"

A good friend of mine suggest that there hasn't been a kink "community" now for many years which I think is a really sad thing if it's true.

I used the internet a lot to help me along my way with kink. And made some epic friends who I've discussed the ethics of kink. I agree I think things are changing and it's possibly becoming less restrictive and defined, a bit like the discussion of sexuality is.

People will always resist change but I do think there's a community, but maybe it's becoming a smaller groups of people again Vs the big commercial community?

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I agree whatever terms you use there will be forms of elitism. Even with submissive people will add true or very sub. Which I never understood what that actually means.

Some people will use it to make themselves feel better, some will use it as tool to exploit a venerable person "if you were a true sub you'd do x y and lots of z"

A good friend of mine suggest that there hasn't been a kink "community" now for many years which I think is a really sad thing if it's true.

Communities are there, a lot of it is done through fet but what with the advent of 50 Shades there has been an upswing in NG. That has caused a large divide in the community and causes a lot of animosity to breed. I found this in a fb group I joined. Lots of gatekeeping and bitchiness, it can quickly become a toxic environment

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

Fb is awful-people bitch about dm ing without permission

And most rooms aren't just in so pointless really

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Sometimes I think that I’m really kinky, other times, not at all. It depends on my mood and who I’m with I think.

Different meets and people bring different dynamics to things.

I’ve experienced D/s dynamics, DD/lg, rope, sensory and lots of other things but it’s not something that I engage in with everyone.

The most important thing is trust and connections to build those dynamics, that takes time

I was so involved in the scene and all my partner's were scene based that I thought I was no longer vanilla at all...

Then when I met and dated none kinky people I realised it was so all about the connection for me, kinky or not that connection needs to be there

Would you class Swingers as Vanilla people ?

I kind of dislike how vanilla is used in a derogatory manner towards people. It’s all relative, which is kind of my point.

I could be described as vanilla by some partners.

I understand that language is unwieldy and it’s hard to accurately describe different levels but using terms to dismiss, belittle or demean others sexual activity is a bit elitist and crappy.

I think that there’s always a place for good ‘vanilla’ sex in any situation. It’s the crap sex that’s the issue and that can be at any level of kink"

Maybe it's my autism/ADHD overthinking here but I feel somewhat accused of using vanilla in a derogatory way when I certainly didn't have that intention and I have no negative thoughts about people who are vanilla (or not kinky how ever you want to say it).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not going to speak for other here, but my personal experience is that "vanilla" is often used as a derogatory term. I know I've used it like that and I know many people have used it like that. I've known "vanilla" people snipe the term wearing it almost as a badge of honour against the "filthy" kinky people.

"Vanilla" back in the days when I first joined the scene was used as a bad term, but then "kinky" was used as a bad term. Times change, people evolve, we grew a little older and wiser and hopefully kinder.

It's very subjective and yes, the use of labels is not a great thing as no one really sits happily under just one, the use of umbrella terms is common place and part of day to day life.

Has it been used in a negative context sure, is it now, maybe.

We as people like to put things into categories, it helps us to manage life. Are some categories nicer than others, for sure, but we are what we are and all we can do it try to be a little kinder to other and to ourselves.

One persons drink is another persons poison and so one persons kink is another persons vanilla.

I'm sure the language has much more evolving to do, I know it has a lot since I've been around and it will again a lot in the future.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve not used the term vanilla in a derogatory way.

I use it highlight a difference.

Some of my best friends are vanilla

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By *iberius61Man
over a year ago

Pontefract

"I’ve not used the term vanilla in a derogatory way.

I use it highlight a difference. "

Must admit I never regarded vanilla as derogatory, more a (fairly) useful label. But then all labels are just indications/starting points. 'Mostly vanilla but likes some mild spanking' gives a (very) broad description as a starting point.

'Staying at her parents, so mostly vanilla fun' paints a bit of a picture of the weekend some friends just had. It's not detailed, but an indication and certainly not derogatory.

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By *iberius61Man
over a year ago

Pontefract

"...Maybe it's my autism/ADHD overthinking here but I feel somewhat accused of using vanilla in a derogatory way when I certainly didn't have that intention and I have no negative thoughts about people who are vanilla (or not kinky how ever you want to say it)."

I think it's just that people have different views and some are more extreme than others. I'm a triathlete. When I go cycling there are some people who welcome me, and others who don't regard me as a real cyclist. There's a rivalry that varies from slight ribbing to genuine dislike. People are weird

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

"I’ve not used the term vanilla in a derogatory way.

I use it highlight a difference.

'Staying at her parents, so mostly vanilla fun' paints a bit of a picture of the weekend some friends just had. It's not detailed, but an indication and certainly not derogatory. "

Some people can be quite snobby about the lifestyle. You know the ones who a sticklers fo protocol an rituals.

Yes take it seriously if you are going to do it, but....

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By *iberius61Man
over a year ago

Pontefract

"...Some people can be quite snobby about the lifestyle. You know the ones who a sticklers fo protocol an rituals..."

Oh absolutely, see my chat about cyclists above

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve not used the term vanilla in a derogatory way.

I use it highlight a difference.

'Staying at her parents, so mostly vanilla fun' paints a bit of a picture of the weekend some friends just had. It's not detailed, but an indication and certainly not derogatory.

Some people can be quite snobby about the lifestyle. You know the ones who a sticklers fo protocol an rituals.

Yes take it seriously if you are going to do it, but...."

I’ve heard of subs be controlled 24/7, their Doms directing almost all aspects of their lives. I wouldn’t have the time or inclination.

Each to their own. If their dynamic is enriched with contracts, rituals , protocols good for them. For me, I’m more organic in my approach and development of dynamics.

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By *iberius61Man
over a year ago

Pontefract

"...Some people can be quite snobby about the lifestyle. You know the ones who a sticklers fo protocol an rituals..."

The problem is when people don't know which protocols are important. Call me a Dom, a Master or a Top I don't really care. Yes there is a difference and if people want I'll explain it, along with which one I prefer, but I don't care if you get it wrong. But there's a reason 'canes' are not bought from a garden centre, and it's important from a safety aspect. As mentioned above, there's a reason you don't drag toys along a dirty floor (or a clean one tbh), and it's nothing to do with looking more Dom like by always holding them in your hands.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"... The problem is when people don't know which protocols are important. Call me a Dom, a Master or a Top I don't really care. Yes there is a difference and if people want I'll explain it, along with which one I prefer, but I don't care if you get it wrong."

I’ve been called different titles with my Subs over the years: Sir, Master , Daddy. The only person I cared what they called me was my sub.

The connection between my sub and i is the only thing that matters.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

When I have attended OP4F paddles & chain events in the past on a couple of occasions there has been a bukkake going on.Is bukkake something that could be classed as BDSM , Kink or does it not fit into either.Also before lockdown I was going to go to Club Sanctum but didn’t go in the end as I believe it’s more for the people more experienced in BDSM.Does anyone know if they are still running events they were based in the Cambridge Heath / Bethnal Green part of East London

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I have attended OP4F paddles & chain events in the past on a couple of occasions there has been a bukkake going on.Is bukkake something that could be classed as BDSM , Kink or does it not fit into either.Also before lockdown I was going to go to Club Sanctum but didn’t go in the end as I believe it’s more for the people more experienced in BDSM.Does anyone know if they are still running events they were based in the Cambridge Heath / Bethnal Green part of East London "

I don't know the OP4F event, but maybe it was a cross over event. There are a number of ways to slice that particular activity so you could see it as kink or swing or almost anything you wanted.

Re the other event, you might well be better off searching on the other site. I have lost touch with the club scene in London, maybe a member more local will know more.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

When the Resistance Gallery was lost as an event site, a number of fringe events lost their home. The main ones for me being Peer Rope London and Club Sanctum.

PRL is yet to find a home but I understand Club Sanctum is to be re-launched elsewhere soonish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" That’s gatekeeping.

You don’t get to decide if someone is kinky or not.

Claiming that judgement and elitism is part of the community sounds completely contrary to the ethos that this thread was started in, which is about being judgement free.

I heartily disagree with your stance"

You can disagree all you like . But it is what the community is about. There are a lot of ‘tourist’ who enter the kink community to take , misunderstand and genuinely have no respect or interest in what Kink BDSM is about .

I’m sorry to inform, there are elitism and cliques within kink communities based on tenure and interests. I’m simply sharing why some kinkster are creating gate keeping .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, I would identify as a sensual submissive in that I love things like the flogger,crop,clamps,wax,

rope, restraints, sensory deprivation, breathplay etc. I enjoy impact play but nothing that laves heavy marks etc.

I've been exploring it more since my divorce 8yrs ago and have had the pleasure of being with 2 lovely Doms who each taught me a lot and I believe its always been part of who I am. When I'm with someone who nurtures and brings out that side of me then I'm in my element,the need to please and provide what my Dom wants goes above and beyond anything else. HOWEVER - in the past couple of years I've floundered slightly and am wondering now if it is something I need in my life again or if I just carry on without. Only time will tell I guess x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi, I would identify as a sensual submissive in that I love things like the flogger,crop,clamps,wax,

rope, restraints, sensory deprivation, breathplay etc. I enjoy impact play but nothing that laves heavy marks etc.

Thank you for sharing. I hope you find enrichment from a Dom or someone from non kink.

I have found that holding myself for the right kink

connection has been valuable to me. I don’t just bed hop , but seeking that deeper connection that’s mutually enriching.

I was intrigued when you mentioned you’re a sensual submissive, but went in to talk about impact play, clamps and breath play . But I’m glad I read on as I understand the ying/yang of pain being the pleasure and the pleasure of pain from a affectionate Dom.

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By *unnesscoupleMan
over a year ago

Inverness

I was recently disciplined. Spanking and belt. A first for me but not the last I think. Need to explore ropes and submission to instructions too. Just thought I'd share.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was recently disciplined. Spanking and belt. A first for me but not the last I think. Need to explore ropes and submission to instructions too. Just thought I'd share."

Thanks for sharing. Did you meet a kink person who suggested it ? How did you feel knowing you were going to get spanked?

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By *unnesscoupleMan
over a year ago

Inverness

I sought them out as I reckoned I'd been out of order and needed to consider my behaviour in a different light. After discussion it was agreed that I'd not behaved well. A programme of discipline was suggested and I agreed that it should take place. There was some discussion about limits and boundaries then it took place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are both into the whole bdsm thing to a degree probably more on the lighter side of things rather than some of the really kinky stuff. She enjoys being submissive and I enjoy being her dom but not had much chance to explore my submisve side yet. Thanks for the post op has been an intresting read.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we are both into the whole bdsm thing to a degree probably more on the lighter side of things rather than some of the really kinky stuff. She enjoys being submissive and I enjoy being her dom but not had much chance to explore my submisve side yet. Thanks for the post op has been an intresting read. "

Thanks for sharing your dynamic. It’s really fun exploring and getting to know perhaps a different side of your relationship. The experiences you share and have together will be interesting.

I love talking snd reflecting the experiences I have with my sub. Often I write about the experiences. And depending on my sub, she shares her thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/06/22 21:52:36]

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