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Infidelity in swinging couples

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Curious to know how common infidelity is among swinging couples, I was in a relationship where my girlfriend had the freedom to play with single men, the basis of this wad that I knew which I believe is acceptable and common? I later found out that she had multiple meets with men without my knowledge.

It was the end of the relationship, my ex felt I was unreasonable?

Would love to hear your thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curious to know how common infidelity is among swinging couples, I was in a relationship where my girlfriend had the freedom to play with single men, the basis of this wad that I knew which I believe is acceptable and common? I later found out that she had multiple meets with men without my knowledge.

It was the end of the relationship, my ex felt I was unreasonable?

Would love to hear your thoughts "

I have no idea as I've never really been in a swinging relationship. What she did was cheating,end of and I'm sorry she put you through that. Cheating causes a lot of harm and I couldn't inflict that on someone I was supposed to love.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you, some people are so selfish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my view any sexual activity outside of your mutually agreed limits is cheating. Just because you swing doesn't mean you can fuck whoever you like (unless that's your agreement obviously!)

You were definitely not in the wrong there

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By *anfifeMan
over a year ago

glenrothes

Snap, my previous was exactly the same. Started with my consent but she got greedy.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

I have a swinging relationship, it was a rule, when I met my partner, that I'd still have freedom to meet others. And same applied to him.

He doesn't want to know who exactly I'm meeting, but he knows most of them from clubs or parties.

From female point of view, we feel we are being judged by how many sexual partners we have. Maybe that's why your gf, OP, chose not to tell you about all her meets? It wasn't necessarily anything you have said or done, OP, it could have been something she misread/misunderstood or some of her own judgements projected onto you. Particularly that, in a traditional society, promiscuous women are seen as bad and called all sorts of names.

Therefore, despite the agreement you two had, she didn't tell you about everyone as she didn't want to put herself in bad light. Sorry if it sounds complicated, but female mind is very complex, we tend to overthink things a lot and get the wrong end of the stick.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have a swinging relationship, it was a rule, when I met my partner, that I'd still have freedom to meet others. And same applied to him.

He doesn't want to know who exactly I'm meeting, but he knows most of them from clubs or parties.

From female point of view, we feel we are being judged by how many sexual partners we have. Maybe that's why your gf, OP, chose not to tell you about all her meets? It wasn't necessarily anything you have said or done, OP, it could have been something she misread/misunderstood or some of her own judgements projected onto you. Particularly that, in a traditional society, promiscuous women are seen as bad and called all sorts of names.

Therefore, despite the agreement you two had, she didn't tell you about everyone as she didn't want to put herself in bad light. Sorry if it sounds complicated, but female mind is very complex, we tend to overthink things a lot and get the wrong end of the stick. "

I can see that thought but the basis of her having other men was that it enhanced the relationship, that was crystal clear

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Snap, my previous was exactly the same. Started with my consent but she got greedy. "

Some people are never happy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I thought what we had was great for both of us, maybe the fact that she was cheating gave her an extra thrill

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Nope... No breaking the rules... If she wanted them to change, she should have said so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a swinging relationship, it was a rule, when I met my partner, that I'd still have freedom to meet others. And same applied to him.

He doesn't want to know who exactly I'm meeting, but he knows most of them from clubs or parties.

From female point of view, we feel we are being judged by how many sexual partners we have. Maybe that's why your gf, OP, chose not to tell you about all her meets? It wasn't necessarily anything you have said or done, OP, it could have been something she misread/misunderstood or some of her own judgements projected onto you. Particularly that, in a traditional society, promiscuous women are seen as bad and called all sorts of names.

Therefore, despite the agreement you two had, she didn't tell you about everyone as she didn't want to put herself in bad light. Sorry if it sounds complicated, but female mind is very complex, we tend to overthink things a lot and get the wrong end of the stick. "
I'd say this to helps see a possible reason, but also it's crossed an agreed boundary, so cheating.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’ve heard many cases where a guy will ask to meet the other lady behind his partners back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything where deceit is involved isn't acceptable whether you're in a swinging relationship or not.

Sorry this happened to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Anything where deceit is involved isn't acceptable whether you're in a swinging relationship or not.

Sorry this happened to you "

It was a horrible experience, you'd think with the level of openness that it wouldn't happen

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'm half a couple and we both meet separately ,as long as the other is fully aware before hand ,no probs .

If my other half was to meet behind my back ,it would be over and he knows that.Theres no reason to cheat when you have permission to meet others .

I think you did the right thing op ,the trust will have gone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm half a couple and we both meet separately ,as long as the other is fully aware before hand ,no probs .

If my other half was to meet behind my back ,it would be over and he knows that.Theres no reason to cheat when you have permission to meet others .

I think you did the right thing op ,the trust will have gone."

Thank you, it went from something amazing to nothing instantly for me, the thrill was sharing the experience, she does regret it now but when the trust is gone it's gone

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By *exy BeckyCouple
over a year ago

near Bergerac, France

Think there’s some very sound advice there.

Trust is the overriding element.

We both meet separately ( Becky more than me obviously..!) and normally we know in advance.

But she has has had spontaneous meets with no chance to tell me before it’s happened.

Me receiving the news shortly afterwards is a real buzz.

And why wouldn’t she tell me…?

But the moment things aren’t shared is the time to move on.

Sorry to hear about the cheating, that’s NOT swinging

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Think there’s some very sound advice there.

Trust is the overriding element.

We both meet separately ( Becky more than me obviously..!) and normally we know in advance.

Sounds like you have a great relationship, it's all about trust

But she has has had spontaneous meets with no chance to tell me before it’s happened.

Me receiving the news shortly afterwards is a real buzz.

And why wouldn’t she tell me…?

But the moment things aren’t shared is the time to move on.

Sorry to hear about the cheating, that’s NOT swinging

"

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By *intage74Couple
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

We have no issue with meets planned or on the cuff

WhAt we like is sharing how when what happened without jealousy or recrimination xxx

Total transparency even after a one off

That’s us x

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