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I dont understand anything anymore.

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

I came to this site many years ago to hopefully increase my sexual knowledge. It took time and a great deal of patience. It finally paid off 4 years ago with regular meets with a certain couple, which carried on for years up until Lockdown and then nothing, it was their choice and we are waiting to meet again. But 2 and a half years later, after the Pandemic, After going out of my way to become triple vaccinated for all of the people near and far from me, I jumped at the chance to have the vaccine to finally get on the band wagon as it were AND nothing, NADA, ZIP, NOPE. Nothing changed and since coming out of lockdown i have put up meets, from Lowestoft to Norwich, Yarmouth, Beccles and nothing, ohh i have been looked at but nothing, no winks, no messages and i feel all alone. I feel like im out in the sea looking inland and seeing all the people playing and i would like some but there is a window between me and the shore. I dont wish to hear that its my profile or its this or its that or people have a choice or a type as i have heard it all before. I am that guy in history at school in the background jumping up and down going "PICK ME" and then the good looking guy in front who plays around a lot gets chosen and FAILS to turn up at the designated meet and then i read the status saying "well that was let down by such a such person, didnt even turn up" and i am sat here thinking i told you so but no one ever listens to little old me. I would turn up on time, if i am running a bit late, i will message you on the site. But if i make a promise to meet you then i will pounce on that opportunity as i NEVER GET CHOSEN FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD! After all that what i am trying to say is "WHY CANT YOU GIVE THE OTHER GUYS WHO ACTUALLY DO THE RIGHT THING A CHANCE" for some fun, you may get a long term friend from it eventually.

Sorry for it being a spiel and long winded i just felt i needed to get it off my chest just like a bad bout of phlegm.

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By *arry monk40Man
over a year ago

Telford

Maybe women are afraid of strong men like you

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"Maybe women are afraid of strong men like you "

Im not a strong man, im quite weak actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I came to this site many years ago to hopefully increase my sexual knowledge. It took time and a great deal of patience. It finally paid off 4 years ago with regular meets with a certain couple, which carried on for years up until Lockdown and then nothing, it was their choice and we are waiting to meet again. But 2 and a half years later, after the Pandemic, After going out of my way to become triple vaccinated for all of the people near and far from me, I jumped at the chance to have the vaccine to finally get on the band wagon as it were AND nothing, NADA, ZIP, NOPE. Nothing changed and since coming out of lockdown i have put up meets, from Lowestoft to Norwich, Yarmouth, Beccles and nothing, ohh i have been looked at but nothing, no winks, no messages and i feel all alone. I feel like im out in the sea looking inland and seeing all the people playing and i would like some but there is a window between me and the shore. I dont wish to hear that its my profile or its this or its that or people have a choice or a type as i have heard it all before. I am that guy in history at school in the background jumping up and down going "PICK ME" and then the good looking guy in front who plays around a lot gets chosen and FAILS to turn up at the designated meet and then i read the status saying "well that was let down by such a such person, didnt even turn up" and i am sat here thinking i told you so but no one ever listens to little old me. I would turn up on time, if i am running a bit late, i will message you on the site. But if i make a promise to meet you then i will pounce on that opportunity as i NEVER GET CHOSEN FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD! After all that what i am trying to say is "WHY CANT YOU GIVE THE OTHER GUYS WHO ACTUALLY DO THE RIGHT THING A CHANCE" for some fun, you may get a long term friend from it eventually.

Sorry for it being a spiel and long winded i just felt i needed to get it off my chest just like a bad bout of phlegm."

Put the screen down and go to a club. This site is swipe for no culture on steroids. It’s far more likely you will impress people and get far further with people in the flesh, where they can see you, hear you, smell you, feel the vibe of you.

So many men have been told this over and over and yet most of you don’t ever seem to take it on board…

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"I came to this site many years ago to hopefully increase my sexual knowledge. It took time and a great deal of patience. It finally paid off 4 years ago with regular meets with a certain couple, which carried on for years up until Lockdown and then nothing, it was their choice and we are waiting to meet again. But 2 and a half years later, after the Pandemic, After going out of my way to become triple vaccinated for all of the people near and far from me, I jumped at the chance to have the vaccine to finally get on the band wagon as it were AND nothing, NADA, ZIP, NOPE. Nothing changed and since coming out of lockdown i have put up meets, from Lowestoft to Norwich, Yarmouth, Beccles and nothing, ohh i have been looked at but nothing, no winks, no messages and i feel all alone. I feel like im out in the sea looking inland and seeing all the people playing and i would like some but there is a window between me and the shore. I dont wish to hear that its my profile or its this or its that or people have a choice or a type as i have heard it all before. I am that guy in history at school in the background jumping up and down going "PICK ME" and then the good looking guy in front who plays around a lot gets chosen and FAILS to turn up at the designated meet and then i read the status saying "well that was let down by such a such person, didnt even turn up" and i am sat here thinking i told you so but no one ever listens to little old me. I would turn up on time, if i am running a bit late, i will message you on the site. But if i make a promise to meet you then i will pounce on that opportunity as i NEVER GET CHOSEN FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD! After all that what i am trying to say is "WHY CANT YOU GIVE THE OTHER GUYS WHO ACTUALLY DO THE RIGHT THING A CHANCE" for some fun, you may get a long term friend from it eventually.

Sorry for it being a spiel and long winded i just felt i needed to get it off my chest just like a bad bout of phlegm.

Put the screen down and go to a club. This site is swipe for no culture on steroids. It’s far more likely you will impress people and get far further with people in the flesh, where they can see you, hear you, smell you, feel the vibe of you.

So many men have been told this over and over and yet most of you don’t ever seem to take it on board…"

This is solid advice, and it works! Clubs and socials are by far the best way to meet genuine people and get interest yourself

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

I work in the evenings and weekends and i do not know my rotation until about a week in advance and a chance to go to a club is what i want to do. Work gets in the way every time! And by the time i know about a social or a club meet then i just find out

about my rotation and it always revolves on the club or social day's. so i do not win either way.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"I work in the evenings and weekends and i do not know my rotation until about a week in advance and a chance to go to a club is what i want to do. Work gets in the way every time! And by the time i know about a social or a club meet then i just find out

about my rotation and it always revolves on the club or social day's. so i do not win either way."

I work a revolving shift pattern so this happens to me a lot too, but it does also take a bit of initiative on your part too… booking time off work to attend for example

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work in the evenings and weekends and i do not know my rotation until about a week in advance and a chance to go to a club is what i want to do. Work gets in the way every time! And by the time i know about a social or a club meet then i just find out

about my rotation and it always revolves on the club or social day's. so i do not win either way."

Well, you can plan your time off ahead can’t you? Perfect opportunity!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes the clubs have daytime events or are open during the day. So even if working evenings and weekends it could be worth looking at clubs x

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham

Desperation and self pity is a massive turn off. Your self-confessed main experience of sex is porn with little real experience is also not going to gain you any favours with most. Porn isn't real!

A man of your age, may need to rewrite your profile, adjust your lifestyle and mindset and become a bit less whiney and a bit more positive.

All I see in your profile is an attempt at having sexual knowledge without having any, and a self-deprecating script which is far from attractive to us and no doubt many others.

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Sorry but nothing exciting about you profile and your old photos. Make some effort get to a club book some time off work, go during the day

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By *udley hotwife86Couple
over a year ago

DUDLEY

To be honest it's all been said already get out in the real world you must have some evenings off go to a club on those nights speak to people. having current veris will help massively also update your profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work in the evenings and weekends and i do not know my rotation until about a week in advance and a chance to go to a club is what i want to do. Work gets in the way every time! And by the time i know about a social or a club meet then i just find out

about my rotation and it always revolves on the club or social day's. so i do not win either way.

I work a revolving shift pattern so this happens to me a lot too, but it does also take a bit of initiative on your part too… booking time off work to attend for example "

Exactly everyone gets a holiday allowance from work (unless self employed).

Just make a club booking 4 weeks in advance to secure you place if possible and then book the relevant time off work.

My best advice is try to think can do not can't.

On Fab since the pandemic influx in many areas there's a 100 single males for every couple or single female searches have shown this.

Self pity is Incredibly unattractive and off putting buddy. People are drawn to those with positive energy and quite confidence in themselves. You want to give out the vibe that your an exciting fun person spend time with. Your current mindset on your post is currently giving the opposite woe is me that ever going attract people to you.

KJ

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

I only changed my profile approx. 2 months ago. I might aswell delete my profile text then and just put "me" in the profile then as i dont know what to say really. I have rewritten my profile more times than i can count and its never right for anyone from what i can read and hear. Im not asking for pity, im asking for a slim chance of hope and positive energy is there, nobody is reading it rightly. oh and yes i do watch a lot of porn but i do know its not real. Also I DONT DRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only changed my profile approx. 2 months ago. I might aswell delete my profile text then and just put "me" in the profile then as i dont know what to say really. I have rewritten my profile more times than i can count and its never right for anyone from what i can read and hear. Im not asking for pity, im asking for a slim chance of hope and positive energy is there, nobody is reading it rightly. oh and yes i do watch a lot of porn but i do know its not real. Also I DONT DRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!"

I didn't learnt to drive until 5 years ago it was the best thing I ever did.

If your profile genuinely reflects you and your current mindset then leave it as it is tbh. There's nothi g worse than false advertising and if its written and doesn't reflect you then you ultimately are found out.

Work on what you can change an influence. Everything atm from your profile to your posts in this thread is negative and its not going to get you anywhere in the swinging scene.

KJ

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By *ristinapinkWoman
over a year ago

Staines-upon-Thames

Don't overthink it. Yes, simplify your bio, remove any self depreciation facts. Sex is about chemistry and when you have it, there's no need for years of experience to have a good time. As advised before, go to clubs and events, mix and be real. Enjoy the ride, you're young and a lot of fun to enjoy is still to come x

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By *udley hotwife86Couple
over a year ago

DUDLEY

Fab is a market place in favour of single women and couples. When it comes to single guys you are literally 1 in 10000 you've got to sell yourself. Let's say you'd caught our interest everything you've said in this thread would ?? guarantee no meet as you don't drive are never free weekend or evenings and very little experience what would we get out of it. When we can go to a club and pic a guy who's there and can see that he's going to work for us

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"Don't overthink it. Yes, simplify your bio, remove any self depreciation facts. Sex is about chemistry and when you have it, there's no need for years of experience to have a good time. As advised before, go to clubs and events, mix and be real. Enjoy the ride, you're young and a lot of fun to enjoy is still to come x"

I dont feel young. I feel a failure to everyone and no chemistry.

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"Fab is a market place in favour of single women and couples. When it comes to single guys you are literally 1 in 10000 you've got to sell yourself. Let's say you'd caught our interest everything you've said in this thread would ?? guarantee no meet as you don't drive are never free weekend or evenings and very little experience what would we get out of it. When we can go to a club and pic a guy who's there and can see that he's going to work for us "

I have experience, its just 2 and a half years old now. But im stupid and thick and i dont know what im doing even on a base level. I understand the statistics, I dont expect a meet every 5 minutes, i know people have differences in opinion and i fully respect that but i feel right now everyone just down right hates my profile and me even though they have yet to even chat or Gods forbid meet me.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Clubs and parties are the best medium on here mate. I know you will struggle to attend clubs but some careful planning and keeping note of upcoming socials will work wonders.

Get a reputation as a decent single on here mate and the meets will come. My profile is shit but I get meets because people have met me in real life.

Good luck matey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’ve said you had a regular thing with a couple. That’s more than a lot of single men get on here.

What worked then? What’s changed since?

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"You’ve said you had a regular thing with a couple. That’s more than a lot of single men get on here.

What worked then? What’s changed since?"

My confidence. Thats what has changed. I went to work, I went food shopping, i came home. I did that to safeguard my best mate and his family. But it trashed my confidence and self esteem over 30+ years from my teenage years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs and socials get out to the real world…

There are quite a few clubs open day and night during the week and weekend. Socials are listed months in advance up and down the country.

Surely you must have some idea of how your rotation works?

If you aren’t willing to get out there, then you’ve got to make your profile the best it can be. Think of it like a shop window…

Sorry to hear you’re not finding it easy. You’ve just got to make it work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go to clubs by myself, it's great because I don't have to worry about keeping another person entertained

I miss going to clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the ones chosen over you have public photos more recent than 2019.

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there


"I work in the evenings and weekends and i do not know my rotation until about a week in advance and a chance to go to a club is what i want to do. Work gets in the way every time! And by the time i know about a social or a club meet then i just find out

about my rotation and it always revolves on the club or social day's. so i do not win either way."

We feel that….

Child free every other weekend but one of them is a call out week so that really only leaves 1 weekend a month free & there’s also the real world to deal with too.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Firstly, no one should be so focused on this site that it's making them depressed. There are other ways to meet people. It's not helpful to be emotionally invested in a site where there are so many men that your messages can easily get lost in the shuffle.

Secondly, I don't know if you're asking for profile advice, but there's plenty to improve. Take off the bit about only knowing sex from porn, for a start, and you don't need to tell people your experience level or about how long you last. Focus on the positive - you're open minded and open to trying new things.

You don't need to mention that you don't like taking pics.

You don't need to tell imaginary companies to smeg off.

And pic wise - do these represent you as best they can?

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"Firstly, no one should be so focused on this site that it's making them depressed. There are other ways to meet people. It's not helpful to be emotionally invested in a site where there are so many men that your messages can easily get lost in the shuffle.

Secondly, I don't know if you're asking for profile advice, but there's plenty to improve. Take off the bit about only knowing sex from porn, for a start, and you don't need to tell people your experience level or about how long you last. Focus on the positive - you're open minded and open to trying new things.

You don't need to mention that you don't like taking pics.

You don't need to tell imaginary companies to smeg off.

And pic wise - do these represent you as best they can?

"

I tell people the truth, saves on heartache and let down when the time comes. The 3 pics at the top are from this year and i believe you got it wrong as i do not mind having media taking of me. I mean what pics more of me do you want, you all dont like cock pics apparently even though i see so many pics of tits and pussy's everywhere i look. And that is a rhetorical question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tell people the truth, saves on heartache and let down when the time comes. The 3 pics at the top are from this year and i believe you got it wrong as i do not mind having media taking of me. I mean what pics more of me do you want, you all dont like cock pics apparently even though i see so many pics of tits and pussy's everywhere i look. And that is a rhetorical question."

Are you looking at the photos for friends only, with the expectation of a toy pic in May 2022 your other pics are from Oct 2019.

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say, 'Give Up'. Your negativity, even in your replys to comments, is overwhelming!

This site isn't working for you clearly, and I think you've too many issues to be able to change your mindset.

Go see a prostitute, get laid, get experience, mature a bit, stop being such a whiny baby and more importantly.. Man UP!

People have tried to help you, given you advice, yet you're still here, not changing anything and still seemingly blaming your past for your future.

No malice meant in any of my comments, but I think you really need to get in the real world and stop getting so uptight because you can't get laid on a swinger site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wouldn't meet you based off how negative you are! The site clearly isn't working for you. Takes some time off attend a few clubs

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say, 'Give Up'. Your negativity, even in your replys to comments, is overwhelming!

This site isn't working for you clearly, and I think you've too many issues to be able to change your mindset.

Go see a prostitute, get laid, get experience, mature a bit, stop being such a whiny baby and more importantly.. Man UP!

People have tried to help you, given you advice, yet you're still here, not changing anything and still seemingly blaming your past for your future.

No malice meant in any of my comments, but I think you really need to get in the real world and stop getting so uptight because you can't get laid on a swinger site. "

Erm at what point did i blame my past for my future? And Man up! Did i say i was whiny and i am no baby, I take so much offence to that statement alone. I would change my mindset if i could. All im hearing is "change your profile to this or that", "Change your photos to?" mmm. I have been thinking of turning to the Gay sites, i may get more people wanting me than on here and that says a lot really. You may call it negativity, i call it no hope in Humanity And I WILL NOT EVER GO WITH A PROSTITUTE EVER!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Self pity is Incredibly unattractive and off putting buddy.

KJ"

This, these threads tend to backfire

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Erm at what point did i blame my past for my future? And Man up! Did i say i was whiny and i am no baby, I take so much offence to that statement alone. I would change my mindset if i could. All im hearing is "change your profile to this or that", "Change your photos to?" mmm. I have been thinking of turning to the Gay sites, i may get more people wanting me than on here and that says a lot really. You may call it negativity, i call it no hope in Humanity And I WILL NOT EVER GO WITH A PROSTITUTE EVER!"

Shouting isn't sexy either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Erm at what point did i blame my past for my future? And Man up! Did i say i was whiny and i am no baby, I take so much offence to that statement alone. I would change my mindset if i could. All im hearing is "change your profile to this or that", "Change your photos to?" mmm. I have been thinking of turning to the Gay sites, i may get more people wanting me than on here and that says a lot really. You may call it negativity, i call it no hope in Humanity And I WILL NOT EVER GO WITH A PROSTITUTE EVER!"

That is a pretty whiny response tbf.

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By *attenbergCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Easy way to get meets:

Be what people want.

It’s that simple.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Awww diddums

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham

[Removed by poster at 01/06/22 19:03:55]

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham


"I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say, 'Give Up'. Your negativity, even in your replys to comments, is overwhelming!

This site isn't working for you clearly, and I think you've too many issues to be able to change your mindset.

Go see a prostitute, get laid, get experience, mature a bit, stop being such a whiny baby and more importantly.. Man UP!

People have tried to help you, given you advice, yet you're still here, not changing anything and still seemingly blaming your past for your future.

No malice meant in any of my comments, but I think you really need to get in the real world and stop getting so uptight because you can't get laid on a swinger site.

Erm at what point did i blame my past for my future? And Man up! Did i say i was whiny and i am no baby, I take so much offence to that statement alone. I would change my mindset if i could. All im hearing is "change your profile to this or that", "Change your photos to?" mmm. I have been thinking of turning to the Gay sites, i may get more people wanting me than on here and that says a lot really. You may call it negativity, i call it no hope in Humanity And I WILL NOT EVER GO WITH A PROSTITUTE EVER!"

You wouldn't say your whiny would you? It's how you appear to others.

Blaming your past.. About being there for your friend and not socialising. Yes, change your photos.. Many have said it, yet you ask for help, or rather moan about nobody wanting to meet you, yet you see it as criticism, rather than the constructive feedback it's intended.

Offence is only ever taken, never given. You made a conscious decision to be offended and that there fella is your problem. On the basis of your your choice to be offended, how do you think the gay community would feel, knowing you'd try a gay site as 'you may get more luck there than in here'? Pretty disrespectful and condescending don't you think?

Anyway, you clearly have issues way beyond my pay grade to deal with. So, go and seek professional help for your self-loathing and your 'blame everyone but yourself' mindset.. Then rejoin with an attitude of 'just because I'm here, doesn't mean I guaranteed to get a shag', and you'll get on great.

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say, 'Give Up'. Your negativity, even in your replys to comments, is overwhelming!

This site isn't working for you clearly, and I think you've too many issues to be able to change your mindset.

Go see a prostitute, get laid, get experience, mature a bit, stop being such a whiny baby and more importantly.. Man UP!

People have tried to help you, given you advice, yet you're still here, not changing anything and still seemingly blaming your past for your future.

No malice meant in any of my comments, but I think you really need to get in the real world and stop getting so uptight because you can't get laid on a swinger site.

Erm at what point did i blame my past for my future? And Man up! Did i say i was whiny and i am no baby, I take so much offence to that statement alone. I would change my mindset if i could. All im hearing is "change your profile to this or that", "Change your photos to?" mmm. I have been thinking of turning to the Gay sites, i may get more people wanting me than on here and that says a lot really. You may call it negativity, i call it no hope in Humanity And I WILL NOT EVER GO WITH A PROSTITUTE EVER!

You wouldn't say your whiny would you? It's how you appear to others.

Blaming your past.. About being there for your friend and not socialising. Yes, change your photos.. Many have said it, yet you ask for help, or rather moan about nobody wanting to meet you, yet you see it as criticism, rather than the constructive feedback it's intended.

Offence is only ever taken, never given. You made a conscious decision to be offended and that there fella is your problem. On the basis of your your choice to be offended, how do you think the gay community would feel, knowing you'd try a gay site as 'you may get more luck there than in here'? Pretty disrespectful and condescending don't you think?

Anyway, you clearly have issues way beyond my pay grade to deal with. So, go and seek professional help for your self-loathing and your 'blame everyone but yourself' mindset.. Then rejoin with an attitude of 'just because I'm here, doesn't mean I guaranteed to get a shag', and you'll get on great."

Just for clarity here, after putting on here about the gay side, 2 men have now fabbed certain Photos.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds


"I came to this site many years ago to hopefully increase my sexual knowledge. It took time and a great deal of patience. It finally paid off 4 years ago with regular meets with a certain couple, which carried on for years up until Lockdown and then nothing, it was their choice and we are waiting to meet again. But 2 and a half years later, after the Pandemic, After going out of my way to become triple vaccinated for all of the people near and far from me, I jumped at the chance to have the vaccine to finally get on the band wagon as it were AND nothing, NADA, ZIP, NOPE. Nothing changed and since coming out of lockdown i have put up meets, from Lowestoft to Norwich, Yarmouth, Beccles and nothing, ohh i have been looked at but nothing, no winks, no messages and i feel all alone. I feel like im out in the sea looking inland and seeing all the people playing and i would like some but there is a window between me and the shore. I dont wish to hear that its my profile or its this or its that or people have a choice or a type as i have heard it all before. I am that guy in history at school in the background jumping up and down going "PICK ME" and then the good looking guy in front who plays around a lot gets chosen and FAILS to turn up at the designated meet and then i read the status saying "well that was let down by such a such person, didnt even turn up" and i am sat here thinking i told you so but no one ever listens to little old me. I would turn up on time, if i am running a bit late, i will message you on the site. But if i make a promise to meet you then i will pounce on that opportunity as i NEVER GET CHOSEN FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD! After all that what i am trying to say is "WHY CANT YOU GIVE THE OTHER GUYS WHO ACTUALLY DO THE RIGHT THING A CHANCE" for some fun, you may get a long term friend from it eventually.

Sorry for it being a spiel and long winded i just felt i needed to get it off my chest just like a bad bout of phlegm."

We'd ignore you also. You sound impatient, whiny and entitled. A dangerous mix on POF, never mine here.

C

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

And i never expect anything from anyone anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading through the original post and your responses OP, I don’t think the forums are the best place for you given your current mindset. Here, you have to be thick-skinned at the best of times. Hope things improve for you x

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham


"And i never expect anything from anyone anymore."

Then delete your post and stop whining! Why bother even posting about not getting anything if you're not expecting anything?

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham


"I came to this site many years ago to hopefully increase my sexual knowledge. It took time and a great deal of patience. It finally paid off 4 years ago with regular meets with a certain couple, which carried on for years up until Lockdown and then nothing, it was their choice and we are waiting to meet again. But 2 and a half years later, after the Pandemic, After going out of my way to become triple vaccinated for all of the people near and far from me, I jumped at the chance to have the vaccine to finally get on the band wagon as it were AND nothing, NADA, ZIP, NOPE. Nothing changed and since coming out of lockdown i have put up meets, from Lowestoft to Norwich, Yarmouth, Beccles and nothing, ohh i have been looked at but nothing, no winks, no messages and i feel all alone. I feel like im out in the sea looking inland and seeing all the people playing and i would like some but there is a window between me and the shore. I dont wish to hear that its my profile or its this or its that or people have a choice or a type as i have heard it all before. I am that guy in history at school in the background jumping up and down going "PICK ME" and then the good looking guy in front who plays around a lot gets chosen and FAILS to turn up at the designated meet and then i read the status saying "well that was let down by such a such person, didnt even turn up" and i am sat here thinking i told you so but no one ever listens to little old me. I would turn up on time, if i am running a bit late, i will message you on the site. But if i make a promise to meet you then i will pounce on that opportunity as i NEVER GET CHOSEN FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD! After all that what i am trying to say is "WHY CANT YOU GIVE THE OTHER GUYS WHO ACTUALLY DO THE RIGHT THING A CHANCE" for some fun, you may get a long term friend from it eventually.

Sorry for it being a spiel and long winded i just felt i needed to get it off my chest just like a bad bout of phlegm.

We'd ignore you also. You sound impatient, whiny and entitled. A dangerous mix on POF, never mine here.

C "

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham


"I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say, 'Give Up'. Your negativity, even in your replys to comments, is overwhelming!

This site isn't working for you clearly, and I think you've too many issues to be able to change your mindset.

Go see a prostitute, get laid, get experience, mature a bit, stop being such a whiny baby and more importantly.. Man UP!

People have tried to help you, given you advice, yet you're still here, not changing anything and still seemingly blaming your past for your future.

No malice meant in any of my comments, but I think you really need to get in the real world and stop getting so uptight because you can't get laid on a swinger site.

Erm at what point did i blame my past for my future? And Man up! Did i say i was whiny and i am no baby, I take so much offence to that statement alone. I would change my mindset if i could. All im hearing is "change your profile to this or that", "Change your photos to?" mmm. I have been thinking of turning to the Gay sites, i may get more people wanting me than on here and that says a lot really. You may call it negativity, i call it no hope in Humanity And I WILL NOT EVER GO WITH A PROSTITUTE EVER!

You wouldn't say your whiny would you? It's how you appear to others.

Blaming your past.. About being there for your friend and not socialising. Yes, change your photos.. Many have said it, yet you ask for help, or rather moan about nobody wanting to meet you, yet you see it as criticism, rather than the constructive feedback it's intended.

Offence is only ever taken, never given. You made a conscious decision to be offended and that there fella is your problem. On the basis of your your choice to be offended, how do you think the gay community would feel, knowing you'd try a gay site as 'you may get more luck there than in here'? Pretty disrespectful and condescending don't you think?

Anyway, you clearly have issues way beyond my pay grade to deal with. So, go and seek professional help for your self-loathing and your 'blame everyone but yourself' mindset.. Then rejoin with an attitude of 'just because I'm here, doesn't mean I guaranteed to get a shag', and you'll get on great.

Just for clarity here, after putting on here about the gay side, 2 men have now fabbed certain Photos."

But your profile says your straight, not gay or bi. So, either your a liar, or you can just suddenly change your sexual orientation based on being unable to attract a female.

Either way, the hole you're digging is getting way to deep for you to climb out from.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

To be fair reading this thread and your replies OP it looks like being on here at the moment seems to be badly affecting your well being.If it is maybe you would think of hiding your profile until you feel a bit better about your fab journey.

People have given you advice and you refuse to take any of it on board. You say you will turn up for meets ,well so will thousands of other men on here.I have never once had anyone I've arranged to meet not show so far. But there is a lot more to wanting to meet someone that them just showing up. You need that zing that makes you want to meet the other person.

You have been given some good advice on how to draw the attention of women on here .I read a profile before I even open a message off anyone new if it doesn't appeal than chances are I won't even open the message and I'm sure plenty of other women are the same.

I'm not going to give any advice on your profile because you haven't asked for it and to be honest I don't think you will change anything anyhow,plus what appeals to me won't appeal to others anyhow.

Using every excuse and blaming others for your lack of success is never going to help your journey here though.Yet again that is just my own opinion.

Good luck on your journey whatever you decide to do .

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

There's very few men that find success on here. I think you need to close your account and work on finding real friends for enjoyment, not for sex. It appears that the lockdown had an enormous negative affect on you, which above all else, you need to repair - Fabs isn't the place to do that imo.

K

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By *shAsianMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

[Removed by poster at 01/06/22 20:37:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its simple when you join here or go to a club or dogging anywhere on the scene ... nobody owes you anything

then there are zillions of men and very few women and couples meaning zillions of men will get no where at all.

on top of that you may think women and couples do well ?? well if i told you that since sunday on this account and my singles account ive had well over 300 messages (many get more) and yet we/im not interested in one..

entitalment is the biggest turn off of all ... you joined the site no one asked you too ..no one has promised you anything ... its for you to put your self out there its for you to put the effort in and most of all its for you to deal with rejection ... its a swingers site not a free for all sex site

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

OP I think you’ve had some very kind and considered advice on this thread, which you should take onboard.

The forums can be very cruel at times… but not in this instance.

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

Not read the thread but loookg at your profile you haven’t updated your photos since pre pandemic. Also your 39 younger than beards and your photos look like those that a much older man would take.

Have a rethink about your photos create some excitement for people looking at you or re looking at you from before.

If you were on my local radar I would think you had stopped meeting if you hadn’t updated anything recently .

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say, 'Give Up'. Your negativity, even in your replys to comments, is overwhelming!

This site isn't working for you clearly, and I think you've too many issues to be able to change your mindset.

Go see a prostitute, get laid, get experience, mature a bit, stop being such a whiny baby and more importantly.. Man UP!

People have tried to help you, given you advice, yet you're still here, not changing anything and still seemingly blaming your past for your future.

No malice meant in any of my comments, but I think you really need to get in the real world and stop getting so uptight because you can't get laid on a swinger site. "

Aside from the "man up" comment, I'd completely agree with this.

I think you need to work on yourself, OP. Have you considered counselling?

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London


"To be fair reading this thread and your replies OP it looks like being on here at the moment seems to be badly affecting your well being.If it is maybe you would think of hiding your profile until you feel a bit better about your fab journey.

People have given you advice and you refuse to take any of it on board. You say you will turn up for meets ,well so will thousands of other men on here.I have never once had anyone I've arranged to meet not show so far. But there is a lot more to wanting to meet someone that them just showing up. You need that zing that makes you want to meet the other person.

You have been given some good advice on how to draw the attention of women on here .I read a profile before I even open a message off anyone new if it doesn't appeal than chances are I won't even open the message and I'm sure plenty of other women are the same.

I'm not going to give any advice on your profile because you haven't asked for it and to be honest I don't think you will change anything anyhow,plus what appeals to me won't appeal to others anyhow.

Using every excuse and blaming others for your lack of success is never going to help your journey here though.Yet again that is just my own opinion.

Good luck on your journey whatever you decide to do .

"

This is spot on, OP. Sorry you're having tough time, but it does sound like a break from here might do you good. Confidence is easily lost, I get that, but maybe just get and try to meet people socially in the "real world" and then come back to Fab when you're feeling more positive. As others have said, it's a bit of a viscous cycle as negativity and "why won't anyone meet me" won't help, I'm afraid.

I hope you get back to feeling like your old self soon - good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe women are afraid of strong men like you "

Haha this made me chuckle

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Anecdotal experience talking here. I used to be the woman that picked up men like you - I did it for years with my ex brother in law (not sexually) but I was the sympathetic one. I dusted people off, patted them on the heads and give them all of my time, energy and support. I utterly drained myself trying to take care of men like you, proving that women weren't blind to men's struggles.

What happened is that I was taken advantage of and discarded. In sexual situations I was the "good shag but not wife material" the back up or the second or even third fault. And it lead me into a very unhappy, abusive, marriage. Thankfully C saved me from all of that and I'll never be able to repay him for giving me my self respect, nor for protecting me from this situation reoccuring.

We would avoid you because in our experience, people in your mindset become abusive. Not necessarily on purpose but it does happen.

P

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"Anecdotal experience talking here. I used to be the woman that picked up men like you - I did it for years with my ex brother in law (not sexually) but I was the sympathetic one. I dusted people off, patted them on the heads and give them all of my time, energy and support. I utterly drained myself trying to take care of men like you, proving that women weren't blind to men's struggles.

What happened is that I was taken advantage of and discarded. In sexual situations I was the "good shag but not wife material" the back up or the second or even third fault. And it lead me into a very unhappy, abusive, marriage. Thankfully C saved me from all of that and I'll never be able to repay him for giving me my self respect, nor for protecting me from this situation reoccuring.

We would avoid you because in our experience, people in your mindset become abusive. Not necessarily on purpose but it does happen.

P"

Im in actual shock here. Ive never been put into a mindset of abusive male before. That kind of person makes me feel sick. Well thats it then Ill hide my profile and never return, for the good of the site and the people on it. I cannot risk that ever happening. Lesson learnt.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks


"Anecdotal experience talking here. I used to be the woman that picked up men like you - I did it for years with my ex brother in law (not sexually) but I was the sympathetic one. I dusted people off, patted them on the heads and give them all of my time, energy and support. I utterly drained myself trying to take care of men like you, proving that women weren't blind to men's struggles.

What happened is that I was taken advantage of and discarded. In sexual situations I was the "good shag but not wife material" the back up or the second or even third fault. And it lead me into a very unhappy, abusive, marriage. Thankfully C saved me from all of that and I'll never be able to repay him for giving me my self respect, nor for protecting me from this situation reoccuring.

We would avoid you because in our experience, people in your mindset become abusive. Not necessarily on purpose but it does happen.

P

Im in actual shock here. Ive never been put into a mindset of abusive male before. That kind of person makes me feel sick. Well thats it then Ill hide my profile and never return, for the good of the site and the people on it. I cannot risk that ever happening. Lesson learnt."

Mate you need to chill and stop taking everything to heart.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds


"Anecdotal experience talking here. I used to be the woman that picked up men like you - I did it for years with my ex brother in law (not sexually) but I was the sympathetic one. I dusted people off, patted them on the heads and give them all of my time, energy and support. I utterly drained myself trying to take care of men like you, proving that women weren't blind to men's struggles.

What happened is that I was taken advantage of and discarded. In sexual situations I was the "good shag but not wife material" the back up or the second or even third fault. And it lead me into a very unhappy, abusive, marriage. Thankfully C saved me from all of that and I'll never be able to repay him for giving me my self respect, nor for protecting me from this situation reoccuring.

We would avoid you because in our experience, people in your mindset become abusive. Not necessarily on purpose but it does happen.

P

Im in actual shock here. Ive never been put into a mindset of abusive male before. That kind of person makes me feel sick. Well thats it then Ill hide my profile and never return, for the good of the site and the people on it. I cannot risk that ever happening. Lesson learnt.

Mate you need to chill and stop taking everything to heart. "

This is the biggest issue - he won't take it to heart. He'll take his pity party of number one and blame everyone else for all his troubles. It will never be his attitude, his negativity, his outlook on life that will be the problem. He will always find someone else to blame. If he took it to heart and really tried to alter his perspective he might see an improvement but in my experience, few people have the ability, let alone the motivation to change in such a way.

P

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"Anecdotal experience talking here. I used to be the woman that picked up men like you - I did it for years with my ex brother in law (not sexually) but I was the sympathetic one. I dusted people off, patted them on the heads and give them all of my time, energy and support. I utterly drained myself trying to take care of men like you, proving that women weren't blind to men's struggles.

What happened is that I was taken advantage of and discarded. In sexual situations I was the "good shag but not wife material" the back up or the second or even third fault. And it lead me into a very unhappy, abusive, marriage. Thankfully C saved me from all of that and I'll never be able to repay him for giving me my self respect, nor for protecting me from this situation reoccuring.

We would avoid you because in our experience, people in your mindset become abusive. Not necessarily on purpose but it does happen.

P

Im in actual shock here. Ive never been put into a mindset of abusive male before. That kind of person makes me feel sick. Well thats it then Ill hide my profile and never return, for the good of the site and the people on it. I cannot risk that ever happening. Lesson learnt.

Mate you need to chill and stop taking everything to heart.

This is the biggest issue - he won't take it to heart. He'll take his pity party of number one and blame everyone else for all his troubles. It will never be his attitude, his negativity, his outlook on life that will be the problem. He will always find someone else to blame. If he took it to heart and really tried to alter his perspective he might see an improvement but in my experience, few people have the ability, let alone the motivation to change in such a way.

P"

That hurts me.

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

I have changed my profile for the 2 millionth time now.

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham


"I have changed my profile for the 2 millionth time now."

4 hours ago you were leaving the site, yet you're still here. Now you're whining about comments 'hurting' you!

Nobody cares fella. This isn't an agony aunt page, or the Jeremy Kyle show. We don't want to hear your woes and sorrows, over and over again. This is a fun place for likeminded people, and I have to say, you don't fit in the category of fun.

Your responses and replies to comments are simply alienating people away from you even further.. Yet you don't see that, and that's where your problem lies.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"That hurts me."

You've been hurt by something a stranger posted in a forum?

Your apparent lack of success swinging is far from your most pressing issue.

Sort yourself out.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds


"

4 hours ago you were leaving the site, yet you're still here. Now you're whining about comments 'hurting' you!

Nobody cares fella. This isn't an agony aunt page, or the Jeremy Kyle show. We don't want to hear your woes and sorrows, over and over again. This is a fun place for likeminded people, and I have to say, you don't fit in the category of fun.

Your responses and replies to comments are simply alienating people away from you even further.. Yet you don't see that, and that's where your problem lies.

"

C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bro this site is terrible from the standards it used to be years ago its filled with weird people who found out about it abd people who aren't attractive to say the least stop worrying about this site and live life

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

Even going to clubs or social events it doesn't garentee that you will have some fun,the only garentee is, it will cost you money for drinks and to get into the club because you are male, (female's get in free),and that you will eventually die. Thats a garentee.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Personally you sound like you need to take stock, find who you are and build up your self-worth. If you have mental health issues seek advice and support from your GP and stop posting atm.

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By *ickeyboy200Man
over a year ago

leicester

Hi interesting thread, I'd like to add something. I agree that the best thing to do would be to attend a club. However I have been told by Amigos in Leicester that I cannot attend the club unless I am a member. To become a member I need either verifications or be introduced by a member. The problem I face is I have asked if my face cam can be verified in the fab rooms, so far no go. Being a bit shy I find it difficult asking, but I have recently made a big effort. I'm regularly told they'll only verify for meets in person. Any suggestions?

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By *ickeyboy200Man
over a year ago

leicester

Hi interesting thread, I'd like to add something. I agree that the best thing to do would be to attend a club. However I have been told by Amigos in Leicester that I cannot attend the club unless I am a member. To become a member I need either verifications or be introduced by a member. The problem I face is I have asked if my face cam can be verified in the fab rooms, so far no go. Being a bit shy I find it difficult asking, but I have recently made a big effort. I'm regularly told they'll only verify for meets in person. Any suggestions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi interesting thread, I'd like to add something. I agree that the best thing to do would be to attend a club. However I have been told by Amigos in Leicester that I cannot attend the club unless I am a member. To become a member I need either verifications or be introduced by a member. The problem I face is I have asked if my face cam can be verified in the fab rooms, so far no go. Being a bit shy I find it difficult asking, but I have recently made a big effort. I'm regularly told they'll only verify for meets in person. Any suggestions?"

Yes attend a local social meet / event. You will get in person veris from there which will help with joining the club you mention.

KJ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/06/22 10:02:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe women are afraid of strong men like you

Im not a strong man, im quite weak actually."
he was being sarcastic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Desperation and self pity is a massive turn off. Your self-confessed main experience of sex is porn with little real experience is also not going to gain you any favours with most. Porn isn't real!

A man of your age, may need to rewrite your profile, adjust your lifestyle and mindset and become a bit less whiney and a bit more positive.

All I see in your profile is an attempt at having sexual knowledge without having any, and a self-deprecating script which is far from attractive to us and no doubt many others. "
Absolutely 100% the best advice

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By *yLongJourney OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

I apologize to everyone on this thread. I started this thread trying to understand why i was reading others complaining that they were being screwed over and myself was here ready, willing and waiting and was never being chosen. I did not intend for this thread to blow up in such a way that my own profile then became the sole conversation point and how bad it was. Last year was a bad year for me, Loneliness and having a bad time at work were sole contributors to a mindset and a route downward into myself that was not good. I should not have retaliated in the fashion i did. I do not expect you to forgive me. I do want to go to clubs and get some more veri's from meets. It is true i havent had a meet for a number of years and most of my pics are a bit older than should be. My experience is lack lustre but i wish to become better. I APOLOGIZE!

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