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How much do your Vanilla friends/family know about your lifestyle?

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By *nOwy and BiOw OP   Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle

We have been pretty open with our friends about what we are into, mainly so that SnOwy’s friends don’t dive in and cockblock her on a night out because they think she’s about to “cheat” on me with another guy.

Our eldest son is 12 but has the mental maturity of a 20 year old, he knows the billy basics of our dynamic because he doesn’t miss anything and we are pretty open and honest with him about stuff. He summed it up pretty well with “Ah, Dad’s a ‘sideliner’ then, gotcha”

Our parents don’t know anything, Snowy’s sister knows what we do.

Does anyone else have friends that aren’t in the scene but “in the know”?

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Nothing but we’ve found out few are on here and now know about us x

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By *nOwy and BiOw OP   Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle

That’s ace! When we told SnOwy’s best friend she went from being fairly innocent to “oh my god!” And then proceeds to tell us, in detail, about her and her husband’s swinging fantasies! It was quite surreal.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Why oh why does your son need to know so much about your sex life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing but we’ve found out few are on here and now know about us x "

Hmmm would be checking out that body

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By *ubcup2Couple
over a year ago

London

No one has told us they've seen us on here but we suspect hubby's uncle knows.

As to whether they gave any clue we don't think anyone has any idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why oh why does your son need to know so much about your sex life?"

Yh bit young lol, each to there own

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By *nOwy and BiOw OP   Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Why oh why does your son need to know so much about your sex life?"

Because he’s scary intelligent. He picks up on things immediately. Also he had a habit of picking up SnOwy’s phone and googling stuff he’s trying to explain, we had to stop him from doing it so he didn’t see all the dirty texts in SnOwy’s WhatsApp from other guys. Lying to him wouldn’t work, he’d see straight through it. So we explained in the simplest most basic terms why he wasn’t allowed to just look at our phones at will any more.

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Not a thing and hopefully it will stay that way

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By *implynaughty1Couple
over a year ago

stockport

Nothing

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Thank you x

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Why oh why does your son need to know so much about your sex life?

Because he’s scary intelligent. He picks up on things immediately. Also he had a habit of picking up SnOwy’s phone and googling stuff he’s trying to explain, we had to stop him from doing it so he didn’t see all the dirty texts in SnOwy’s WhatsApp from other guys. Lying to him wouldn’t work, he’d see straight through it. So we explained in the simplest most basic terms why he wasn’t allowed to just look at our phones at will any more."

Don't you have a lock code for the phone?

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By *xfordjohnMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Nothing here too.

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By *nOwy and BiOw OP   Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Don't you have a lock code for the phone?"

Yes, but if he see’s you put it in once, he knows it and remembers it. We have to change it every few days. This is a kid that gets mistaken for an 18yr old. He taught himself animation over the course of a week and then started churning out mini cartoons and stop motion films for his friends. He’s SCARY smart.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Don't you have a lock code for the phone?

Yes, but if he see’s you put it in once, he knows it and remembers it. We have to change it every few days. This is a kid that gets mistaken for an 18yr old. He taught himself animation over the course of a week and then started churning out mini cartoons and stop motion films for his friends. He’s SCARY smart."

He still doesn't need to have access to the details of your sex life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a few friends that know what we are in to, we don't tend to discuss it with them though unless they ask

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By *ancpl05Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend

Quite a few friends know - hers, his and joint. Never had any outright conversation with family members but suspect some know.

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By *nOwy and BiOw OP   Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle


"He still doesn't need to have access to the details of your sex life "

We never said we told him details. It was the most basic, broad, ungraphic explanation we could come up with. It basically went like this:

“You know that episode of Rick and Morty when Jerry’s parents come over fro Christmas dinner and they bring their young “friend” with them?”

“Yeah”

“That”

“Ah! So Dad’s a ‘sideliner’ then?”

A few minutes go past for us to stop laughing at that description

“Yeah basically”

“Gotcha”

End of discussion, it hasn’t been mentioned since.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nothing, not a thing.

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By *hocolateRodMan
over a year ago

London and over UK

Absolutely nothing

My friends think I am very dull ! If only they knew

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By *ust JuicyWoman
over a year ago

east london

One friend - it took her a while to believe me !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of our friends generally know something

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By *axmanaterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Nothing at all

I am discretion personified

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/05/22 22:56:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't you have a lock code for the phone?

Yes, but if he see’s you put it in once, he knows it and remembers it. We have to change it every few days. This is a kid that gets mistaken for an 18yr old. He taught himself animation over the course of a week and then started churning out mini cartoons and stop motion films for his friends. He’s SCARY smart."

You are scary parents. Get a grip !

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By *iromancergirl1Woman
over a year ago

bolton

My friends know some of my close female family members and my 3 oldest kids 21 21 and 25 my 12 year old doesn’t know a thing and I’m not planing on telling her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We told two friends, one we should never ever have told, the other friend was the complete antithesis.

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

My closest vanilla friend knows.

Wouldn't tell anyone else unless I was going to get close to them.

Family are a definite no

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

No family know but a few friends know. We're not hidden about it but we also don't tell everyone if that makes sense

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Don't you have a lock code for the phone?

Yes, but if he see’s you put it in once, he knows it and remembers it. We have to change it every few days. This is a kid that gets mistaken for an 18yr old. He taught himself animation over the course of a week and then started churning out mini cartoons and stop motion films for his friends. He’s SCARY smart."

Is he that smart or are just a bit crap/dumb if your 12 year old is getting into your sexts it’s a failure of parenting tbh, possibly even child abuse. You need to do much much better

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By *nOwy and BiOw OP   Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle


"My friends know some of my close female family members and my 3 oldest kids 21 21 and 25 my 12 year old doesn’t know a thing and I’m not planing on telling her "

That’s fair enough. As I’ve said, we haven’t told him details. At the very worst, he knows we aren’t in a conventional monogamous relationship and thats it. It’s not been discussed by either of us since.

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By *nOwy and BiOw OP   Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Don't you have a lock code for the phone?

Yes, but if he see’s you put it in once, he knows it and remembers it. We have to change it every few days. This is a kid that gets mistaken for an 18yr old. He taught himself animation over the course of a week and then started churning out mini cartoons and stop motion films for his friends. He’s SCARY smart.

Is he that smart or are just a bit crap/dumb if your 12 year old is getting into your sexts it’s a failure of parenting tbh, possibly even child abuse. You need to do much much better "

Wow. So we are being accused of child abuse now is it?

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By *hisStagsVixenCouple
over a year ago

peterborough

Yeah I have two friends that know what we get upto and ask for updates one is jealous and would her husband to be into it, the other just supports us and likes to hear about it x

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By *tockport 69Couple
over a year ago

Stockport

My daughter know but she is 30 and the friends we know know as we play with them.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Lots of our friends are I the life style.

People at Dicks work know but have no idea what actually happens they think Dick watches me get fuck by BBC.

They don't understand I play with women.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"We have been pretty open with our friends about what we are into, mainly so that SnOwy’s friends don’t dive in and cockblock her on a night out because they think she’s about to “cheat” on me with another guy.

Our eldest son is 12 but has the mental maturity of a 20 year old, he knows the billy basics of our dynamic because he doesn’t miss anything and we are pretty open and honest with him about stuff. He summed it up pretty well with “Ah, Dad’s a ‘sideliner’ then, gotcha”

Our parents don’t know anything, Snowy’s sister knows what we do.

Does anyone else have friends that aren’t in the scene but “in the know”?

"

We have a few friends who know - but they are all folk who are ENM or pan. Personally I think it's very brave of you to be open with your child. There is nothing wrong with ENM and letting your child know you are in a "non-traditional" relationship is not involving them in your sex life in an inappropriate way, to my mind.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why oh why does your son need to know so much about your sex life?

Because he’s scary intelligent. He picks up on things immediately. Also he had a habit of picking up SnOwy’s phone and googling stuff he’s trying to explain, we had to stop him from doing it so he didn’t see all the dirty texts in SnOwy’s WhatsApp from other guys. Lying to him wouldn’t work, he’d see straight through it. So we explained in the simplest most basic terms why he wasn’t allowed to just look at our phones at will any more."

Even kids who arent super smart usually know when they are being lied to. I applaud your approach. It lets your kid know that there is nothing wrong with talking about sex and relationships, which may make it easier for him to approach you when he is having his own issues and needs to talk.

Non-monogamous relationships are becoming more common-place anyway, so Im gonna guess that it wont be super long before its talked about in the mainstream. It sounds like you handled it in a way that was sensitive to his age and understanding level, which is the most important thing.

I think youre great parents.

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By *iromancergirl1Woman
over a year ago

bolton


"Why oh why does your son need to know so much about your sex life?

Because he’s scary intelligent. He picks up on things immediately. Also he had a habit of picking up SnOwy’s phone and googling stuff he’s trying to explain, we had to stop him from doing it so he didn’t see all the dirty texts in SnOwy’s WhatsApp from other guys. Lying to him wouldn’t work, he’d see straight through it. So we explained in the simplest most basic terms why he wasn’t allowed to just look at our phones at will any more.

Even kids who arent super smart usually know when they are being lied to. I applaud your approach. It lets your kid know that there is nothing wrong with talking about sex and relationships, which may make it easier for him to approach you when he is having his own issues and needs to talk.

Non-monogamous relationships are becoming more common-place anyway, so Im gonna guess that it wont be super long before its talked about in the mainstream. It sounds like you handled it in a way that was sensitive to his age and understanding level, which is the most important thing.

I think youre great parents. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Does anyone else have friends that aren’t in the scene but “in the know”?

"

Most people know an outline even if not the whole picture.

My family know I am poly and that I enjoy casual sex as well as relationships and whilst they arent aware that I am on a swinging site, visit clubs or about my kinks, Im pretty sure they wouldnt be surprised! Family members even come to me for STI advise which I think os wonderful

Im open with friends (and most aquaintences below a certain age) about my sex life. Its not unusual for friends to ask me about hook ups or my kinks in front of other people because they know I am happy to discuss it openly. Most people are interested. Rarely is anyone shocked.

But I am a young progressive so maybe it doesnt count

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By *nOwy and BiOw OP   Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Even kids who arent super smart usually know when they are being lied to. I applaud your approach. It lets your kid know that there is nothing wrong with talking about sex and relationships, which may make it easier for him to approach you when he is having his own issues and needs to talk.

Non-monogamous relationships are becoming more common-place anyway, so Im gonna guess that it wont be super long before its talked about in the mainstream. It sounds like you handled it in a way that was sensitive to his age and understanding level, which is the most important thing.

I think youre great parents. "

Thank you! Our thought process is basically “if we don’t lie to our kids about life, they wont lie to us when they experience it”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very few know about my lifestyle thankfully, a couple of friends on a similar level and my sub but other than that it’s kept on a need to know basis, apparently a guy with four foot dreads who likes binding people up is intimidating

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Ok if we are talking friends here we go

Ex swing friends - people used to swing don’t anymore but I am good friends with - yes they obviously know I swing. Easy conversations

Ex-uni friends - most know a few don’t and it may come up once in a while in a random conversation but more often than not nothing

Football friends - 4 or 5’people know. Which works for me/. Rather the whole words didn’t

Everybody else that fills outside or that doenst know.

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By *hosewhomgonakedCouple
over a year ago

Scotland

We don't tell everyone unless it comes up, but we don't hide it at all. She tells a lot of her friends and my sister knows as she has watched kids and house before while we went away for a weekend of fun.

We have been to my works night out before where she suddenly started to tell some of my colleagues that we were swingers. I tend to keep it quiet from work mates but if she is out drinking she can't help but share.

I've moved from that job now but it's probably only a matter of time before she let's my new colleagues know.

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By *ark69x_glosMan
over a year ago

Cirencester

A friend at work, because we ended up becoming FWBs and swinging / visiting clubs together.

Otherwise, whilst a few people have had and understanding that I may be open to swinging, nobody actually knows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We think a few may know but can't be 100% sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter (23) knows I'm on here. But she's frankly a nosey moo.. And no she doesn't ask for details. We're very close, but she's also a grown adult with kiddos of her own and is obviously fully aware I didn't date as a single parent in her younger years... Not judging! But 12 is v very young! Nothing wrong with discussing sex with young people, but frankly who wants to really know that much about their folks?

Plus sex is such an exploration thing in early years anyways..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They know nothing. But then again there’s nothing to report anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why oh why does your son need to know so much about your sex life?

Because he’s scary intelligent. He picks up on things immediately. Also he had a habit of picking up SnOwy’s phone and googling stuff he’s trying to explain, we had to stop him from doing it so he didn’t see all the dirty texts in SnOwy’s WhatsApp from other guys. Lying to him wouldn’t work, he’d see straight through it. So we explained in the simplest most basic terms why he wasn’t allowed to just look at our phones at will any more."

To be fair he's 12.. So surely the convo you have when he's 'very adult for a child'. Is you don't use our phones without permission, because that's not acceptable behaviour in the world we live?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

My friends and family know that I'm in an open relationship.

I didn't want to risk anyone we know seeing us out on a date. I can only imagine them worrying about how to break it to the other one!

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

A couple of years ago we told a vanilla friend, a very lovely lady, about our lifestyle and within an hour we were all naked in bed together with me and her enjoying some beautiful girl on girl play.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Scrupulous circumspection is my watchword; and I never play locally.

Social mores have changed, but not sufficiently for me to be open about my lifestyle choice.

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By *hinstrapMan
over a year ago

Barnsley

They don't ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of my friends know about it

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By *tinerant scribeMan
over a year ago

County Durham

I have told a few people and want to tell more. I told a friend who was going through a divorce and felt tremendously jilted. (She had redone her social media accounts, from Laura Ashley to tight jeans.) I didn't ask her to play with me and would not have, but she was talking openly about her sex life, validation, excitement about sexuality after a drought, and age. She took it very naturally!

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By *aul40nwMan
over a year ago

wirral

I dont think anyone knows ...

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By *linky1Couple
over a year ago

Sittingbourne

Nobody knowing is all part of the fun.

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By *mooth Operator 07Man
over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys

Nope.

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By *aisy DoeCouple
over a year ago

Beverley

a couple of our close vanilla friends know- dont ask details but the girls always want to know if daisy has had many hung / black / good sex etc.

One of our nieces knows- she is in her 40 and was often out with Daisy when they would both pull and play lads after a night out.

A couple of Daisy work colleagues know and we have had 3somes with them since and taken one to a swing club and thoroughly corrupted her.

Other than that we like to keep it private.

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By *eventysixCouple
over a year ago

glossop

Only we know friends and kids nope

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

A few friends, my daughter and I made the mistake of telling my sister who then told me I was a sexual deviant? I tried to educate her but she’s still very ignorant.

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