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Moving from swinging into a 'relationship'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ive (Fem) been single for the last 4 years and absolutely loved it. For most of that time Ive been swinging and having a ball

Recently I have started missing certain 'coupley' things and it's started me thinking about having a new relationship.

How have others found this possible? I mean you couldn't really admit to someone you meet on a dating website that you've spent the last 4 years shagging strangers

Are there actually peeps on here looking for relationships? (I am green in this area as Ive always kept the men I meet at arms length through choice)

How likely is it I would have to give up the lifestyle?

Your experiences please

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think


"Ive (Fem) been single for the last 4 years and absolutely loved it. For most of that time Ive been swinging and having a ball

Recently I have started missing certain 'coupley' things and it's started me thinking about having a new relationship.

How have others found this possible? I mean you couldn't really admit to someone you meet on a dating website that you've spent the last 4 years shagging strangers

Are there actually peeps on here looking for relationships? (I am green in this area as Ive always kept the men I meet at arms length through choice)

How likely is it I would have to give up the lifestyle?

Your experiences please "

Do what I did .... met my partner at a club .... best of both worlds lol

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By * starr -Woman
over a year ago

Burton on Trent.

im the same hun, so i guess, the only way is honesty and say from the start, or try and meet a person who also swings.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"im the same hun, so i guess, the only way is honesty and say from the start, or try and meet a person who also swings. "

Hmm, Im not so sure about openly saying so

Im not sure how men would take that.

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

will add that when I was single, I also joined a certain dating site and was being contacted by males who also had a profile on here .... surprising how many just want NSA on here yet a serious relationship on the other site!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"will add that when I was single, I also joined a certain dating site and was being contacted by males who also had a profile on here .... surprising how many just want NSA on here yet a serious relationship on the other site!!

"

Yes I suppose lots of men would be keener to settle into relationships if they could continue swinging.

I think I would have to be in an open relationship as I couldn't ever imagine giving up this lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confused. You have a couples profile yet your question says you are single?

Why not ask the guy you share the profile with if he wants a relationship? You both have fun anyway so he won't be surprised. Win/ win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"will add that when I was single, I also joined a certain dating site and was being contacted by males who also had a profile on here .... surprising how many just want NSA on here yet a serious relationship on the other site!!

"
. Yup agree 100% lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm confused. You have a couples profile yet your question says you are single?

Why not ask the guy you share the profile with if he wants a relationship? You both have fun anyway so he won't be surprised. Win/ win. "

Im not in a relationship with the guy on my profile, we are just playmates.

Im on here as a long established single lady too.

He doesn't want a relationship with me nor me him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm confused. You have a couples profile yet your question says you are single?

Why not ask the guy you share the profile with if he wants a relationship? You both have fun anyway so he won't be surprised. Win/ win.

Im not in a relationship with the guy on my profile, we are just playmates.

Im on here as a long established single lady too.

He doesn't want a relationship with me nor me him "

Aww that's a shame, would have been perfect.

There have been a few vanilla date threads recently, you could look those up. Also tons of people seem to be pairing up all the time. Maybe have it on your single profile that you're open to possibly starting a relationship so that blokes know. Some will be looking for it. Good luck! xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm confused. You have a couples profile yet your question says you are single?

Why not ask the guy you share the profile with if he wants a relationship? You both have fun anyway so he won't be surprised. Win/ win.

Im not in a relationship with the guy on my profile, we are just playmates.

Im on here as a long established single lady too.

He doesn't want a relationship with me nor me him

Aww that's a shame, would have been perfect.

There have been a few vanilla date threads recently, you could look those up. Also tons of people seem to be pairing up all the time. Maybe have it on your single profile that you're open to possibly starting a relationship so that blokes know. Some will be looking for it. Good luck! xx"

Thats a really good idea, thank you for that, I shall add that (discreetly)to my profile now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so i was in a 13 year relationship and after i found out she cheated i suggested an extension to our sex life ie we joined a swinging site, not this one, i enjoyed seeing her with other men was a real massive turn on but i wasnt allowed to play with females. I gave her every fantasy she desired and STILL ended up with her having an affair i still wanted her but she didnt want me broke my heart and sent me into a mental breakdown.

NOW i am with G we got together nearlly 2 years ago and i told her when i first met her that i was a kinky sod and that that side of me probably wouldnt change. G was far from kinky in fact quite sheltered when it came to sex i told her i used to swing and she knows everything there is to know about me.

So up to now ........... Ive turned her into a filthy bitch and she loves it lmao in fact she has surprised me she LOVES the swinging scene and has even had a few bi experiences which she would never have even entertained 2 years ago. My ex is not aware that i swing but has been trying tp get back with me ever since. It took me a long time to get over her but eventually felt strong enough to say no.

I think the moral of my story is be honest from the start i hide nothing from G at all and i love her with all my heart.

DONT BE SOMEONE YOUR NOT!!!!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I dropped off Fab for a vanilla relationship for 18 months or so and hid my profile (I was cynical enough not to delete it). I didn't tell my girlfriend about being on here but I did hint about it and she never asked for details. Sadly it didn't work out.

Just keep your options open and hide your profile if you meet a vanilla man.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive (Fem) been single for the last 4 years and absolutely loved it. For most of that time Ive been swinging and having a ball

Recently I have started missing certain 'coupley' things and it's started me thinking about having a new relationship.

How have others found this possible? I mean you couldn't really admit to someone you meet on a dating website that you've spent the last 4 years shagging strangers

Are there actually peeps on here looking for relationships? (I am green in this area as Ive always kept the men I meet at arms length through choice)

How likely is it I would have to give up the lifestyle?

Your experiences please "

I was single for a long time but had play mates

Then I wanted a relationship and to swing, weirdly I got contacted by a bloke on fab who wanted the same and asked me if that's what I was looking for.

It didn't work out lol but If it hadn't been for fab we would of probably been ok! Haha yes fab brought us together and split us up :p

I think if u don't set the foundations of the two of you first, then its never going to work. Or maybe ....lol I will keep the rest to myself

Not sure I Would meet a possible partner off fab that was not willing to put the swinging on hold to get to know a person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ive (Fem) been single for the last 4 years and absolutely loved it. For most of that time Ive been swinging and having a ball

Recently I have started missing certain 'coupley' things and it's started me thinking about having a new relationship.

How have others found this possible? I mean you couldn't really admit to someone you meet on a odating website that you've spent the last 4 years shagging strangers

Are there actually peeps on here looking for relationships? (I am green in this area as Ive always kept the men I meet at arms length through choice)

How likely is it I would have to give up the lifestyle?

Your experiences please

I was single for a long time but had play mates

Then I wanted a relationship and to swing, weirdly I got contacted by a bloke on fab who wanted the same and asked me if that's what I was looking for.

It didn't work out lol but If it hadn't been for fab we would of probably been ok! Haha yes fab brought us together and split us up :p

I think if u don't set the foundations of the two of you first, then its never going to work. Or maybe ....lol I will keep the rest to myself

Not sure I Would meet a possible partner off fab that was not willing to put the swinging on hold to get to know a person. "

Thats interesting, thank you. Ive been reading back through relationship threads and plenty have said its a good iidea to put swinging on hold to establish your relationship first. That makes good sense.

How all I have to do is find him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would put swinging on hold if one of us saw it necessary to do so. Having done this for just over a year I don't think I would miss it too much. Maybe the social side.

Ultimately I think it comes down to plenty of communication. Making sure both parties are happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would put swinging on hold if one of us saw it necessary to do so. Having done this for just over a year I don't think I would miss it too much. Maybe the social side.

Ultimately I think it comes down to plenty of communication. Making sure both parties are happy. "

Definatly make sure both partners are happy! And communication is only any good if you take note, no point listening then carrying on regardless but yes giving up the swinging to get to know each other that's a biggy, I may of wanted a swinging relationship but I still want a connection or what's the difference between what I had when I was single but more stress hehe.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think if you meet someone in the non swinging world and you start to develop feelings, hide your profile and give your new relationship 100% of your intent to make it work.

If you meet on here, I also share the opinion that hanging up your swinging shoes for a while is a wise thing to do, forge that deep feeling with each other, but most of all be happy with each other. At a time in the future, if you want to introduce others, good and well.

my biggest piece of advice is if you do meet on here, do not play it out for all to see... the good and the bad. It is truly one of the most undignified things around here when it happens and I applaud people who remain with a dignified silence throughout.

good luck and I truly hope all find the happiness they seek.

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think if you meet someone in the non swinging world and you start to develop feelings, hide your profile and give your new relationship 100% of your intent to make it work.

If you meet on here, I also share the opinion that hanging up your swinging shoes for a while is a wise thing to do, forge that deep feeling with each other, but most of all be happy with each other. At a time in the future, if you want to introduce others, good and well.

my biggest piece of advice is if you do meet on here, do not play it out for all to see... the good and the bad. It is truly one of the most undignified things around here when it happens and I applaud people who remain with a dignified silence throughout.

good luck and I truly hope all find the happiness they seek.

x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

iv had a relationship n here nd it didnt work for us , we found it strange dnt ask why as i couldnt realy tell you, he wnt even speak t me now x

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By *azzasteMan
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

and if any women in the sussex area are looking for this, feel free to drop me a message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the same, started to realise i wanted a relationship but didnt want to give up swinging.

Tried online dating for months, found no one suitable.

Tried looking on fab, found most men thought me gulible enough to just say "im after a relationship too" and were then really shocked when i wouldnt sleep with them and gave up soon after :P

Looked on other "sex" sites, with a little more luck.

In the end, by complete coincidence, was set up with a friend of a friend and we found we had a LOT in common!

It was scary admitting it all, to start with but if you know the kind of person they are then you will know if they will freak out or not.

So perhaps try all of the above-you never know where you'll find the right person

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By *awkeye and HotlipsCouple
over a year ago

Takeley

Good thread! The earlier post about a vanilla dating site is so true. We chatted to a single guy who said he had more success there, rather than on here. He wanted the sex without having to play the whole social game of chess.

Can you meet a partner on a site like this? Why ever not, or should you tell a new partner about your "swinging days"? The label of swinging compared to dating, from friends who are on one or both sites is somewhat a grey area!It appears that fro our experience the biggest issue with busy lives is meeting someone full stop.....where? how? Gone are the days of actually engaging with someone, with the computer seemingly the fix to everything. In our opinion, the basis of a relationship or friendship has to be trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am looking for relationship too! Im not a proper "swinger" just a single lady looking for the odd bit of fun when I feel the need. I did join dating sites but found people who yes were on here and most once got chatting only wanted sex anyway! So until I find Mr Right I will be browsing away as usual on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks to all for your words of wisdom and sharing your experiences xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive (Fem) been single for the last 4 years and absolutely loved it. For most of that time Ive been swinging and having a ball

Recently I have started missing certain 'coupley' things and it's started me thinking about having a new relationship.

How have others found this possible? I mean you couldn't really admit to someone you meet on a dating website that you've spent the last 4 years shagging strangers

Are there actually peeps on here looking for relationships? (I am green in this area as Ive always kept the men I meet at arms length through choice)

How likely is it I would have to give up the lifestyle?

Your experiences please "

I would give it up, and I would have a relationship too. I would talk a lot more though for a long while before a meet.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I think that a high proportion of people on so called respectable dating sites, including the upmarket ones, actually are looking more for NSA sex or friends with benefits. In a way being on this site is a more honest way and if somebody judged another person (male or female) for having been on a swing site... you got to ask yourself if they are worth considering for a relationship.. to me it would just sound a bit too judgmental for that?

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy


"I am looking for relationship too! Im not a proper "swinger" just a single lady looking for the odd bit of fun when I feel the need. I did join dating sites but found people who yes were on here and most once got chatting only wanted sex anyway! So until I find Mr Right I will be browsing away as usual on here "

similar story here can be awkward broaching the subject when you go on a vanilla date trying to find out if they would be up for the lifestyle or at least accept that i used to do it. if in a relationship it would have to be a joint decision if i carried on swinging or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"will add that when I was single, I also joined a certain dating site and was being contacted by males who also had a profile on here .... surprising how many just want NSA on here yet a serious relationship on the other site!!

"

I've had this, it annoyed me to think I was not told by them that they were on a sex website too... Do they not think the women can play that game too like myself?

That said it was an ex I met on a dating site that introduced me too this!

I'd love to be in a relationship but find it hard to find someone compatible in the bedroom

If I did find a long term partner (the one... Ha) then I'd have to tell them about my fab life, Im sure no matter where I found him he'd have his own skeletons in the closest too!

I believe you can't look for love it finds you...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it partly relates to what sort of relationship you'd like to develop. I know we don't always know, until we find the right partner for us, but if you have some idea, it would help guide your decisions.

Most people aren't current or former swingers, so the pool of potential partners is bigger in this group of people. But, they may be less compatible with you, should you prefer to still swing once you have a partner. I'm guessing that trying to convert someone who's never been interested in swinging into an active swinger, is harder than getting an experienced swinger to date you.

But compatibility isn't all at a sexual level, if you're looking for a longer term partner, though it's important.

My slight concern about using your profile to find either/or a loving partner or a swinging partner is that you may be looking for 2 completely different sets of people. Sometimes we'll fuck with very different people than we'd ever date, so a single profile may not get you the best success that you deserve. If this is the case, consider how you could overcome this sort of issue.

Overall, it does seem that partners come along when we're ready, and when we're often not thinking about it. But I do believe it's positive to get the message out there that you're open to it, as people you meet, as well as those that know you, may help introduce you to the right person too.

The last thing you come across as is desperate, far from it, and that's a healthy sign too. I've not read your profile, so I'm basing this on just what's posted here, but you do seem to reveal positivity and a healthy approach to life. You also are likely very aware of what you really appreciate, as well as understand yourself sexually well too - all good attributes for someone to date with.

Wishing you the best of luck! Sophie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am looking for relationship too! Im not a proper "swinger" just a single lady looking for the odd bit of fun when I feel the need. I did join dating sites but found people who yes were on here and most once got chatting only wanted sex anyway! So until I find Mr Right I will be browsing away as usual on here "

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

I think once you meet someone you click with whether its on here or a vanilla site you need to be honest about what your looking for. If you meet someone from a dating site maybe talk about sexual broadmindedness and see what comes up you never know. If its off here ask if they are looking for more. Having met you the other week i think you will soon be snapped up if you tell people what your looking for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it partly relates to what sort of relationship you'd like to develop. I know we don't always know, until we find the right partner for us, but if you have some idea, it would help guide your decisions.

Most people aren't current or former swingers, so the pool of potential partners is bigger in this group of people. But, they may be less compatible with you, should you prefer to still swing once you have a partner. I'm guessing that trying to convert someone who's never been interested in swinging into an active swinger, is harder than getting an experienced swinger to date you.

But compatibility isn't all at a sexual level, if you're looking for a longer term partner, though it's important.

My slight concern about using your profile to find either/or a loving partner or a swinging partner is that you may be looking for 2 completely different sets of people. Sometimes we'll fuck with very different people than we'd ever date, so a single profile may not get you the best success that you deserve. If this is the case, consider how you could overcome this sort of issue.

Overall, it does seem that partners come along when we're ready, and when we're often not thinking about it. But I do believe it's positive to get the message out there that you're open to it, as people you meet, as well as those that know you, may help introduce you to the right person too.

The last thing you come across as is desperate, far from it, and that's a healthy sign too. I've not read your profile, so I'm basing this on just what's posted here, but you do seem to reveal positivity and a healthy approach to life. You also are likely very aware of what you really appreciate, as well as understand yourself sexually well too - all good attributes for someone to date with.

Wishing you the best of luck! Sophie x "

Sophie what a lovely response Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think once you meet someone you click with whether its on here or a vanilla site you need to be honest about what your looking for. If you meet someone from a dating site maybe talk about sexual broadmindedness and see what comes up you never know. If its off here ask if they are looking for more. Having met you the other week i think you will soon be snapped up if you tell people what your looking for."

Awwwhh shucks Elie You're a sweetheart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"will add that when I was single, I also joined a certain dating site and was being contacted by males who also had a profile on here .... surprising how many just want NSA on here yet a serious relationship on the other site!!

I've had this, it annoyed me to think I was not told by them that they were on a sex website too... Do they not think the women can play that game too like myself?

That said it was an ex I met on a dating site that introduced me too this!

I'd love to be in a relationship but find it hard to find someone compatible in the bedroom

If I did find a long term partner (the one... Ha) then I'd have to tell them about my fab life, Im sure no matter where I found him he'd have his own skeletons in the closest too!

I believe you can't look for love it finds you..."

yes I you can't look for love, things just happen and you can fall in love. I think it can be made easier if you are willing and open to it.

been on herebe ideal if you find someone as at least your more likely to be compatible in bedroom x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fruit and I met for fun through FAB but quite quickly found that we were very compatible in the vanilla world too. This has led to us pretty much spending every available bit of time when we are not at work together. With plans to make a home together in the spring. Have fallen head over heels in love with each other, which came as a surprise because both of us have been swingers for several years without ever feeling it before.

We are on our journey of discovery still but after many talks about how we feel have decided we both want to stay swinging but only as a couple now. Looking forward very much to what the future may bring.

Fusion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have got close to someone on here and although I would happily give the swinging up, there are trust issues by meeting on here.....could he give it up? Would he? Its something I agree you need to establish just the same as if you met by other means...trust is trust x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"will add that when I was single, I also joined a certain dating site and was being contacted by males who also had a profile on here .... surprising how many just want NSA on here yet a serious relationship on the other site!!

I've had this, it annoyed me to think I was not told by them that they were on a sex website too... Do they not think the women can play that game too like myself?

That said it was an ex I met on a dating site that introduced me too this!

I'd love to be in a relationship but find it hard to find someone compatible in the bedroom

If I did find a long term partner (the one... Ha) then I'd have to tell them about my fab life, Im sure no matter where I found him he'd have his own skeletons in the closest too!

I believe you can't look for love it finds you...

yes I you can't look for love, things just happen and you can fall in love. I think it can be made easier if you are willing and open to it.

been on herebe ideal if you find someone as at least your more likely to be compatible in bedroom x"

Yes I agree, I'm always open to the opportunity. I've missed out in the past by not seeing what's been right in front of me...

That kinda sounded a bit shallow of me with the whole bedroom comment :s

I value a lot of other things in a relationship too. I'd like to find a soul mate someone who I can trust with every aspect of my life..... All in due course though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fruit and I met for fun through FAB but quite quickly found that we were very compatible in the vanilla world too. This has led to us pretty much spending every available bit of time when we are not at work together. With plans to make a home together in the spring. Have fallen head over heels in love with each other, which came as a surprise because both of us have been swingers for several years without ever feeling it before.

We are on our journey of discovery still but after many talks about how we feel have decided we both want to stay swinging but only as a couple now. Looking forward very much to what the future may bring.

Fusion"

Great, lovely to hear

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I would love to find love been single way too many years for my liking.. Though it would be nice to meet someone in the same mind set to me regarding swinging as I love the friends I have made on here and not sure I could give them up... Who knows what is around the corner in this madness we call life....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have got close to someone on here and although I would happily give the swinging up, there are trust issues by meeting on here.....could he give it up? Would he? Its something I agree you need to establish just the same as if you met by other means...trust is trust x"

Trust in swinging has to be built like in any other relationship, one of the first things we did was to give each other our passwords for our single profiles, I haven't felt the need to check up on Fruit nor would I imagine she has felt the need to check up on me. You either trust someone or you don't, just because people are swingers doesn't mean they are any less trustworthy than those who are not swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would love to find love been single way too many years for my liking.. Though it would be nice to meet someone in the same mind set to me regarding swinging as I love the friends I have made on here and not sure I could give them up... Who knows what is around the corner in this madness we call life.... "
. I agree with you there Hun xx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"will add that when I was single, I also joined a certain dating site and was being contacted by males who also had a profile on here .... surprising how many just want NSA on here yet a serious relationship on the other site!!

"

Are you sure they just didn't want a shag and were edging their bets?

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