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regular guy keeping you as back up

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

we have a friend on here who has a regular fwb who openly told her she's his back up plan for when nothing else is going on .... ie she wants to meet hes got a meet sign up and tells her if he cant get a meet by a certain time then he'll meet her ... she never said anything to him as she thought it was ok .... maybe im wrong but id tell him where to go if hes looking for a meet he should just tell her he has other plans my thought was i would not be second choice for anyone what do you think ..

there agreemet was regular fwb no exclusive stuff no drama but i think hes taking the piss

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's what she thinks that counts really.

Personally I'd bin him but everyone has different levels of self worth

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Who needs friends like that?!

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

It's a power play thing. Bin him. There are masses of guys who will treat her with respect and care.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

ive had guys try this with me too over the years they cant understand why i wont meet them anymore ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christ what a loser

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Christ what a loser "

Are you calling the man or the woman the loser ? I think the man is in a win win situation

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By *ewey613Man
over a year ago

ottawa


"Christ what a loser

Are you calling the man or the woman the loser ? I think the man is in a win win situation"

Could only be better if he told her to dress up like the woman he wanted to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had guys that I have on hand if I needed. It doesn't make me a bad person

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By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth


"It's what she thinks that counts really.

Personally I'd bin him but everyone has different levels of self worth "

Yes, some people like it that way. I’ve seen it too often.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we have a friend on here who has a regular fwb who openly told her she's his back up plan for when nothing else is going on .... ie she wants to meet hes got a meet sign up and tells her if he cant get a meet by a certain time then he'll meet her ... she never said anything to him as she thought it was ok .... maybe im wrong but id tell him where to go if hes looking for a meet he should just tell her he has other plans my thought was i would not be second choice for anyone what do you think ..

there agreemet was regular fwb no exclusive stuff no drama but i think hes taking the piss"

Here's the thing I know this is going to sound harsh please don't take it the wrong way because I personally would not entertain any woman who tried to treat me this way . Now here's the harsh bit it's not mine or your place to try and influence or tell yours or my friends what they should do because if there happy with the arrangement I'm happy for there happiness.

I try to not judge my friends behavior unless it directly impacts me only then would I voice my opinion. If ask for my opinion I'd give adding but you do what makes you happy I will still be your friend and have your back what ever you choose to do .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"we have a friend on here who has a regular fwb who openly told her she's his back up plan for when nothing else is going on .... ie she wants to meet hes got a meet sign up and tells her if he cant get a meet by a certain time then he'll meet her ... she never said anything to him as she thought it was ok .... maybe im wrong but id tell him where to go if hes looking for a meet he should just tell her he has other plans my thought was i would not be second choice for anyone what do you think ..

there agreemet was regular fwb no exclusive stuff no drama but i think hes taking the piss

Here's the thing I know this is going to sound harsh please don't take it the wrong way because I personally would not entertain any woman who tried to treat me this way . Now here's the harsh bit it's not mine or your place to try and influence or tell yours or my friends what they should do because if there happy with the arrangement I'm happy for there happiness.

I try to not judge my friends behavior unless it directly impacts me only then would I voice my opinion. If ask for my opinion I'd give adding but you do what makes you happy I will still be your friend and have your back what ever you choose to do ."

and your correct ive not said anything to her nor will i all i said was on this post id tell him to do one ... as i also said she was talking to us what others do is there choice so as i said in my post ''id tell him to do one'' ive advised no one just chatting to see how others feel

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

In general it seems a lot of women in my life do or have a history of accepting terrible behaviour from men and being treated poorly yet continuing bite at any scap of attention. On the face of this a story that is replicated a million times over saddly.

However to play devil's advocate maybe they have a open and brutally honest consensual understanding of each other. Basically this is the reality of how I feel, do you accept these terms? Clearly she does and I'd hope likewise she'd chose something better over him if the opportunity arises and doesn't change any plans on the off chance she's needed. They are both adults. Although I suspect it's more a case userery and puppetry just from what I've noticed over the years and the feel of concern the post has for her.

Begs the question in a world of various sexual partners is it OK to be second fiddle? After all many of us see more than one other and we can't always be top dog. Also is it OK to be open and honest about it or should we keep it to ourselves? Likewise is it OK to try and make arrangements like that? I mean deep down I bet a lot of people would like a plan B if a plan A falls through, especially if free time is limited. And I suspect (although maybe not said in such harsh terms) a lot of people (especially ladies) do if they're honest keep a plan B on the hook or someone they can call up. And it may not be a lack of desire for that person but more simply that they wish to enjoy variety and can't be two places at once. So it may not be a case she is plan B (or lesser desired) , more a case of plan different has simply fallen through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she's a sub and enjoys humiliation.

I'd tell him to fuck off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As if it wasn’t difficult enough to create connections on here, and then the dickhead goes and treats her like that!

I’d stick him straight in the bin, where he belongs, and then give me a call!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I wouldn't want to be just an option when nobody else can meet ,so it wouldn't be for me.

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By *illbe9999Man
over a year ago

Holmfirth


"I wouldn't want to be just an option when nobody else can meet ,so it wouldn't be for me."

Agreed its so disrespectful.

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

Up North

No I wouldn’t be happy with that at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we have a friend on here who has a regular fwb who openly told her she's his back up plan for when nothing else is going on .... ie she wants to meet hes got a meet sign up and tells her if he cant get a meet by a certain time then he'll meet her ... she never said anything to him as she thought it was ok .... maybe im wrong but id tell him where to go if hes looking for a meet he should just tell her he has other plans my thought was i would not be second choice for anyone what do you think ..

there agreemet was regular fwb no exclusive stuff no drama but i think hes taking the piss"

I'd bin him personally

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

What's it got to do with you, op? Sounds like an arrangement they're both enjoying even if the original terms have changed, that's between them, I mean she wouldn't meet him if she weren't happy.

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