FabSwingers.com forum: Conversation

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So we saw a hyper critical thread on here about men the other day and although we agreed with some points we felt that from our experience couples and single ladies are just as bad in terms of reading profiles or sending messages. We don’t get 100s of messages so our sample pool is a lot smaller. But 90% of couples that message us clearly never read our profile or wink us to avoid having to message us first. Where has the conversational skill gone in people or is asking for someone to read profile and send us more then hey nice pictures.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

To be honest I've always used the wink as a signal to say "hey, I like you", and then if the other person sends one back, I'll send them a message. Not as a lazy way of getting out of conversation, just not wanting to clog a potentially uninterested person's inbox

LvM

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be honest I've always used the wink as a signal to say "hey, I like you", and then if the other person sends one back, I'll send them a message. Not as a lazy way of getting out of conversation, just not wanting to clog a potentially uninterested person's inbox

LvM"

I agree that’s good when you have a decent profile like yours. If it’s a blank profile it’s just pointless.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We get one liners and pasted messages. If we think they haven't read our profile we just don't reply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We get one liners and pasted messages. If we think they haven't read our profile we just don't reply."

At least it’s not just us then. Blank profiles as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LvM"

That was my understanding of the winks, but you read a profile and they say “winks aren’t acknowledged” or words to that effect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LvM"

That’s how we do things too, winks are a quick and easy way to say “ hey, we like what we see, check us out” and a wink back is a sign that they concur… most of the time lol

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By *ralextacyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I'd love to have a conversation... not many reply to messages though so it's a tough starter for 10

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We put a good amount of info on our profile and clearly say “please only message if you feel we fit you and vice versa” but then we still get people messaging who haven’t read a single line

and we also put in a decent amount of effort into messages just to receive one liners

instant delete at that point!

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Plenty of couples and women are just as bad as men with the messages they send especially with the sense of entitlement in them .But they rarely get any mention on here it's usually just the men who have to take the crap about messages.

Plenty of women and couples make no effort either to use their filters to help with the amount of messages they get but they are more than happy to complain about the content they get. It's fab it's the way it's always been on here and probably always will be.

I prefer to keep tight filters and take some control of my inbox.It makes my fab journey so much easier and I've no issue sending a message first if a profile appeals.

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

I think you’re all missing the point on these forums ..

They’re only here to slate single men for absolutely everything..

Couples and ladies can do no wrong..

Did you all not read the site rules??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We put a good amount of info on our profile and clearly say “please only message if you feel we fit you and vice versa” but then we still get people messaging who haven’t read a single line

and we also put in a decent amount of effort into messages just to receive one liners

instant delete at that point!"

Oh I know it’s so disappointing! We make a lot of effort with our profile and we are in a position to reply a thanks but no thanks if someone has clearly made an effort but isn’t for us. But depends how I’m feeling I either ignore delete or offer them to try again if I’m in a good mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually like to read a profile before I look at any pictures or anything.

If there is something that catches my eye or I think hmmmm that’s interesting then I’ll wink or perhaps send a message which is profile specific.

That might be a compliment or a question or a simple introduction.

I quite like the wink system and for me it’s all about the conversation, without it….it’s all rather dull!

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By *aneAndTarzanCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Some of ALL variations (couples, singles, bi, straight and TV) are guilty of not reading profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drives me mad, when people say “happy to chat” or “let’s chat” but whe you do, to build a bit of rapport. They read the message and just blank you.

That’s men and women

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

It’s also frustrating when you want to contact someone but their profile has so little information that there’s nothing there to start a conversation on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s also frustrating when you want to contact someone but their profile has so little information that there’s nothing there to start a conversation on. "

Totally agree, I think our profile is about right and you can show you have read is very easily

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

We use winks as we're always too shy to send a first message.

But we'd agree about the quality of messages - sheer numbers say that we get more awful messages from guys. However if we just considered the messages from couples, a much higher percentage are one lines, from profiles with no info, and we very rarely get anything but one word replies if we do try.

Seems that a LOT of couples think that just being a couple is a straight pass to not having to read profiles or make any effort.

(Bry)

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I think people are free to message (although always best to make it a good one) and people are perfectly fine not to message back. I don't think it's rude, no one owes anyone their time because the sender has invested time in an unsolicited message.

I have this account for my personal adventures and on a couples account with My Fiancée. I get messages from guys (trying their luck or don't read) and also messages from guys on our couples account. Some messages are just not enticing at all. Sometimes you know by the title or the first line your not interested. Or indeed by the profile picture. But I can also say the same for some from couples and occasionally ladies. Although on the whole it tends to be guys. Although that observation maybe partly manipulated due to the ratios on Fab.

So in conclusion, ok not to reply, lots of rubbish guys, some rubbish others and guys tend to be held to a hypocritical standard when others get a free pass because of Vagina.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On a slightly different topic a message to guy’s running couples accounts check with your partner that they are actually before getting deep in to conversations

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