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why do men ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ? allow the wife ? i just dont get it most couples are 50/50 so at the very least its a joint descision or as in my case i chose who i play with just as hubs did when he played i never pick his playmates male or female ..

most of our messages are like ''hey mate let me fuck your mrs'' lol sorry chaps but most of us women in couples relationship decied ourselves who we fuck ...

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By *ouis CyphreMan
over a year ago

The Midlands


"why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ? allow the wife ? i just dont get it most couples are 50/50 so at the very least its a joint descision or as in my case i chose who i play with just as hubs did when he played i never pick his playmates male or female ..

most of our messages are like ''hey mate let me fuck your mrs'' lol sorry chaps but most of us women in couples relationship decied ourselves who we fuck ..."

Well said. Meeting with a couple - the clue is in the word "Couple". Being invited in to their play is a privilege, that us singles guys should respect. Recognising and valuing their relationship and never making any assumptions.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

You mean. Why do some men?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You mean. Why do some men? "

i didnt say all men either did i ???

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"You mean. Why do some men?

i didnt say all men either did i ???"

“Why do men”

You definitely didn’t exclude any

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not all men, no. But when I had a couples profile I did get a fair few messages along the lines of addressing the guy instead of assuming the female might be running the account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband always says that he doesn't own me and that it is my body to do what I want with it.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.


"why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ? allow the wife ? i just dont get it most couples are 50/50 so at the very least its a joint descision or as in my case i chose who i play with just as hubs did when he played i never pick his playmates male or female ..

most of our messages are like ''hey mate let me fuck your mrs'' lol sorry chaps but most of us women in couples relationship decied ourselves who we fuck ...

Well said. Meeting with a couple - the clue is in the word "Couple". Being invited in to their play is a privilege, that us singles guys should respect. Recognising and valuing their relationship and never making any assumptions."

I would never see it as a privilege either, If just you and the Woman are playing its mutual pleasure, If he gets off on the watching or joining in then all three are having fun, I wouldn't be playing for their pleasure alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I send a message to a couple it's always to both parties unless it states otherwise in their profile.

Yes I am also a male who will read a profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the chicken came before the egg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cherry has her own mind and she can do what ever she wants. I don't own her and there for can't give permission. We both have to be happy with it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The same reason *some* men will ask their friend if they can date his sister

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

We get the oppisit. They ignore Mr, and direct explicit messages to me. That's the quickest way to get them blocked. We're a couple, you talk to us a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's about the respect (and I use that term extremely loosely) that you're together.

Messaging you directly and ignoring him I would predict (incorrectly) that I would not even get a response.

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By *JcouplemidlandsCouple
over a year ago

Peak District


"We get the oppisit. They ignore Mr, and direct explicit messages to me. That's the quickest way to get them blocked. We're a couple, you talk to us a couple. "

We was just going to say the exact same thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having a couples profile as well as this singles profile I have witnessed some interesting approaches.

In the couples profile we would expect any message to address both of us. However we have had messages that read like the sender thinks its a single female profile.

In my si glws profile I try my utmost to be neutral when messaging. It's All about respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ? allow the wife ? i just dont get it most couples are 50/50 so at the very least its a joint descision or as in my case i chose who i play with just as hubs did when he played i never pick his playmates male or female ..

most of our messages are like ''hey mate let me fuck your mrs'' lol sorry chaps but most of us women in couples relationship decied ourselves who we fuck ..."

Guessing it comes down to how ingrained gender role stereotypes are in the guy, a lot seem to, a lot don't. Similar to how for a lot of people they assume women are submissive by default, and men dominant by default.

Similarly some assume the man is the "head of the household" even with things like this, and even when that's a pretty outdated view nowadays.

Personally see more couples where they say message the guy than not, but don't think people should assume that even if it might be more common.

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By *aulp4alsMan
over a year ago

Warrington


"why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ? allow the wife ? i just dont get it most couples are 50/50 so at the very least its a joint descision or as in my case i chose who i play with just as hubs did when he played i never pick his playmates male or female ..

most of our messages are like ''hey mate let me fuck your mrs'' lol sorry chaps but most of us women in couples relationship decied ourselves who we fuck ..."

In my opinion of 10 years on here. Men are not in control it is the lady that is in control as it should be

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By *LiamMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I think it has something to do with the amount of couples that seem to be only men on the accounts..

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire


"why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ? allow the wife ? i just dont get it most couples are 50/50 so at the very least its a joint descision or as in my case i chose who i play with just as hubs did when he played i never pick his playmates male or female ..

most of our messages are like ''hey mate let me fuck your mrs'' lol sorry chaps but most of us women in couples relationship decied ourselves who we fuck ..."

Every couple is different, we've met a few where the man was clearly running the show, sometimes to a worrying level . Most have been more 50/50.... With us Tony runs the profile and initial chat, yet Cherry has full control of whether it moves forward and must like their face pics etc

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"

In my opinion of 10 years on here. Men are not in control it is the lady that is in control as it should be "

No idea what this means but hey oh!

Most messages we receive from men are directed to Mrs N like I don't exist.

Just for the record we're 50/50 in our day to day life however, we're not set up like that for meets. It's 100% my (he) decision who she plays with choice wise and when, odd we know, but that's how she likes it and wants it to be, suits us just fine.

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

In a club when playing, guys nearly always ask me (James) if they can join in and play with Isobel and i always say " ask her, shes the one you want to fuck"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ? allow the wife ? i just dont get it most couples are 50/50 so at the very least its a joint descision or as in my case i chose who i play with just as hubs did when he played i never pick his playmates male or female ..

most of our messages are like ''hey mate let me fuck your mrs'' lol sorry chaps but most of us women in couples relationship decied ourselves who we fuck ..."

I'd say it's the opposite for us with messages, they're always directed specifically to Mrs as if it's a single account.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ? allow the wife ? i just dont get it most couples are 50/50 so at the very least its a joint descision or as in my case i chose who i play with just as hubs did when he played i never pick his playmates male or female ..

most of our messages are like ''hey mate let me fuck your mrs'' lol sorry chaps but most of us women in couples relationship decied ourselves who we fuck ..."

I speak to them as a couple first, then take my cues from however the chat develops; be it one party or the other, or the two of them as a couple. It’s not rocket science, and respect should be shown to all concerned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes definitely I agree... I always asked for both couples if they are happy

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

All I can say is I’ve been on fab nearly 10 years and the vast majority of approaches from couples are made by the man and if it gets to a meeting stage it’s normally the man that does the organising and communication. I also find I am increasingly getting approaches where it is clear the woman has no idea the approach has been made

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is how men are. Because a man is naturally protective of his partner, it is a ‘male’ thing to ask the man to be sure there won’t be any problems or aggression from the man.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't contact people at all so all conversations are started by others.

In five years here 95% of the messages I have received from couples have been from the woman.

The other 5% have no interest in chatting at all and just lead with demands and instructions in their opening message.

There have been at least half a dozen conversations where the subject is changed when I ask about their husband/partner and they say they don't wish to talk about him.

Assumptions are often made because no two conversations or situations are ever the same.

People are told in the forums how they should approach others and when they do they often find that the dynamics are completely different and that couple don't like that type of approach at all.

It's not all black and white.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"All I can say is I’ve been on fab nearly 10 years and the vast majority of approaches from couples are made by the man and if it gets to a meeting stage it’s normally the man that does the organising and communication. I also find I am increasingly getting approaches where it is clear the woman has no idea the approach has been made "

Similar here mate. The majority of messages I receive from couples are ‘booty calls’, late at night, when they’ve been drinking, got horny, and pop in Fab to find a cock Or the other common thing; get chatting, all going well, then at some point hubby says “I’m straight too, but if something were to happen in the heat of the moment…….” yeah right, whatever

There are genuine people out there though, for everyone

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By *anyasmanMan
over a year ago

Preston

“why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ?”

Well sometimes they are. My wife actually prefers me in control even when I don’t want to be. She calls me her “Health and safety officer”.

I have talked to other ladies on this subject and some others do also - I think it, for some, may be a way of ensuring hubby is ok with it and devolving some of the responsibility.

I have also met women who would be offended at the thought of this so, as usual, it can be a minefield for the single guy.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

We are there for our enjoyment so naturally Mrs Misfit is only there to fuck people see wants to. So there's no point asking me. You could try asking her but to be fair she tends to just go for what she wants anyway.

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By *irtyold manMan
over a year ago

barnsley

Not many relationships are equal.usualy one is more in charge than another and it dosent mater if its female as boss or male

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry


"“why do men .... who play with couples think the its the husband whos in control or the husband to at least give permission ?”

Well sometimes they are. My wife actually prefers me in control even when I don’t want to be. She calls me her “Health and safety officer”.

I have talked to other ladies on this subject and some others do also - I think it, for some, may be a way of ensuring hubby is ok with it and devolving some of the responsibility.

I have also met women who would be offended at the thought of this so, as usual, it can be a minefield for the single guy. "

I agree with this. Think the best approach is to talk to them together as a couple and then judge from there is anyone takes the lead and go from there. Hopefully you'll soon get a vibe for their dynamic. Best to approach new people with no assumptions.

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