FabSwingers.com forum: Advice for first time .social first or no?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My wife is very nervous about taking the leap into reality she's always kind of suffered with anxiety throughout her life it's more under control these days but she said she loves the idea of opening up our relationship to swinging with a MFM encounter at some point I showed her this site and she realised wow this stuff actually happens was a su real moment for her so she said me just go on here for now and she will come on when she feels ready to which will be soon as she keeps mentioning it but we always talk about this everytime we have sex to the point we don't have sex without talking about the fantasy now so I think it's edging closer but as she is nervous would a social pay off first rather then fuck and go of would a social be worse I don't know hence why I'm asking advice ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife is very nervous about taking the leap into reality she's always kind of suffered with anxiety throughout her life it's more under control these days but she said she loves the idea of opening up our relationship to swinging with a MFM encounter at some point I showed her this site and she realised wow this stuff actually happens was a su real moment for her so she said me just go on here for now and she will come on when she feels ready to which will be soon as she keeps mentioning it but we always talk about this everytime we have sex to the point we don't have sex without talking about the fantasy now so I think it's edging closer but as she is nervous would a social pay off first rather then fuck and go of would a social be worse I don't know hence why I'm asking advice ?"

I always prefer a social. You never know if profiles on here are genuine.

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By *urchoicenowCouple
over a year ago

Ashford

Go to a club. You don't have to do anything

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I always do a social first sometimes it has become more but usually it's a social to see if we actually get on in person and if there is any chemistry. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to meet someone intending to have sex straight away and not actually liking them very much in person. At least when it has happened when I've had a social we can have a coffee and the one of us can just say that they don't want to meet again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go to a club. You don't have to do anything "

She did mention that would maybe be easiest way to ease her into it as obviously there's no pressure and there's like minded people around you and not just 1 person so makes it easier to settle nerves and play it by there

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

I personally find socials more nerve wracking, awkwardness, what do you talk about, I also suffer from anxiety & I find a meet becomes a much bigger deal than it needs to ge the more planning goes into it the waiting etc you give yourself time to talk yourself out of things which is why I also mainly do spur of the moment meets

I know why I'm here, the guy knows why he's here, I prefer to just jump into bed, I'm less shy naked

But others will be the opposite & will need a social first, only you two can decide what will best for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I personally find socials more nerve wracking, awkwardness, what do you talk about, I also suffer from anxiety & I find a meet becomes a much bigger deal than it needs to ge the more planning goes into it the waiting etc you give yourself time to talk yourself out of things which is why I also mainly do spur of the moment meets

I know why I'm here, the guy knows why he's here, I prefer to just jump into bed, I'm less shy naked

But others will be the opposite & will need a social first, only you two can decide what will best for you "

Yes this is what I think in a way to I kind of agree with you to be honest. My wife said she doesn't want no emotional connection with the person it's just sex as she loves me and doesn't feel the need to Indulge in that way .

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By *spotpleasurerMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I think a social is helpful and puts you at ease if this is your first time. More experienced swingers may be happy to do without a social and arrange to meet straightaway. Even so, it's a good idea to exchange messages and check verifications to make sure you know what kind of person you are meeting.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

How realistic do you think it is that your wife would want to have sex with a man she hasn't at least had a coffee/drink and a chat with?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How realistic do you think it is that your wife would want to have sex with a man she hasn't at least had a coffee/drink and a chat with?"

I think she would be more comfortable at a club then a coffee meet . Obviously everyone's first time is very nerve racking

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"How realistic do you think it is that your wife would want to have sex with a man she hasn't at least had a coffee/drink and a chat with?

I think she would be more comfortable at a club then a coffee meet . Obviously everyone's first time is very nerve racking "

I would have thought a club might be a more daunting prospect tbh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How realistic do you think it is that your wife would want to have sex with a man she hasn't at least had a coffee/drink and a chat with?

I think she would be more comfortable at a club then a coffee meet . Obviously everyone's first time is very nerve racking

I would have thought a club might be a more daunting prospect tbh"

It's really hard . A Club I personally think could feel abit of pressure and too many hitting on you at once .. that's why I've asked haha

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

None of us can say what would be best for your wife. What's her opinion?

I insist on a social first often more than one. For me the minute I feel any kind of pressure I back off.

I genuinely think you should leave the decision entirely with your wife.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"None of us can say what would be best for your wife. What's her opinion?

I insist on a social first often more than one. For me the minute I feel any kind of pressure I back off.

I genuinely think you should leave the decision entirely with your wife. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah maybe thats the best idea I just want to know what not to do lol

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Maybe get her chatting with men first on here and see how she feels about that. She might feel that is enough for her to get to know someone.

Personally we’ve always done socials and I actually enjoy them now. It’s all part of the build up for me but everyone is different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe get her chatting with men first on here and see how she feels about that. She might feel that is enough for her to get to know someone.

Personally we’ve always done socials and I actually enjoy them now. It’s all part of the build up for me but everyone is different.

I definitely agree there should be a sexual build up in the mind it definitely makes it more fun

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Yeah maybe thats the best idea I just want to know what not to do lol"

You need to ask your wife thatm I simply cannot stress that enough. What's right for me or any of the other women on fab might not be right for her.

Is she reading this, what does she think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We didn’t have a social before our first meet but I had chatted with him long enough to have a fair idea of how well we would all get on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah maybe thats the best idea I just want to know what not to do lol

You need to ask your wife thatm I simply cannot stress that enough. What's right for me or any of the other women on fab might not be right for her.

Is she reading this, what does she think?"

Nope il show her when she gets home from work . She said a Club when we last spoke about it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Yeah maybe thats the best idea I just want to know what not to do lol

You need to ask your wife thatm I simply cannot stress that enough. What's right for me or any of the other women on fab might not be right for her.

Is she reading this, what does she think?

Nope il show her when she gets home from work . She said a Club when we last spoke about it"

Then a club it is if you're happy with that. You don't have to do anything.

Is it you who's unsure?

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By *D of funCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

ALWAYS a social first

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By *handsMan
over a year ago

Warrington

Go to a local club as a couple, get used to the environment and remember a no means no, if anyone hassles you, let the club know or if an organised event let the hosts know.

You don’t have to do anything, on my first club visit I was very on edge, within 2 hours I was relaxed in the club. I went with im going to have a good time and anything else is a bonus, still feel that way now.

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

Get her on fab and start chatting in the forums it will ease her in then arrange a social

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go to a local club as a couple, get used to the environment and remember a no means no, if anyone hassles you, let the club know or if an organised event let the hosts know.

We don't have any local clubs in Essex

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah maybe thats the best idea I just want to know what not to do lol

You need to ask your wife thatm I simply cannot stress that enough. What's right for me or any of the other women on fab might not be right for her.

Is she reading this, what does she think?

Nope il show her when she gets home from work . She said a Club when we last spoke about it

Then a club it is if you're happy with that. You don't have to do anything.

Is it you who's unsure?"

To be honest I'm pretty cool with whatever I'm quite a socialble person I can talk to anyone it's more Mrs she's the quiet one haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah maybe thats the best idea I just want to know what not to do lol

You need to ask your wife thatm I simply cannot stress that enough. What's right for me or any of the other women on fab might not be right for her.

Is she reading this, what does she think?

Nope il show her when she gets home from work . She said a Club when we last spoke about it

Then a club it is if you're happy with that. You don't have to do anything.

Is it you who's unsure?

To be honest I'm pretty cool with whatever I'm quite a socialble person I can talk to anyone it's more Mrs she's the quiet one haha"

More reason for her to be on fab seeing what it’s like for herself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah maybe thats the best idea I just want to know what not to do lol

You need to ask your wife thatm I simply cannot stress that enough. What's right for me or any of the other women on fab might not be right for her.

Is she reading this, what does she think?

Nope il show her when she gets home from work . She said a Club when we last spoke about it

Then a club it is if you're happy with that. You don't have to do anything.

Is it you who's unsure?

To be honest I'm pretty cool with whatever I'm quite a socialble person I can talk to anyone it's more Mrs she's the quiet one haha

More reason for her to be on fab seeing what it’s like for herself "

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve jumped into a ‘sex straight away’ meet once. It was okay but in retrospect quite foolish. Since then I always social first to gauge attraction and chemistry. Doesn’t mean the odd social hasn’t moved on to a hotel room or back to his/mine the same night. It’s just easier and better if all the expectation and pressure is removed at the first meeting. For me it also says a lot about the other party if they’re willing to make that effort even with the risk of nothing happening x

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