FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Partner Cheated Outside Swinging

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I just found out my partner of 8+ years has been cheating on me for several months.

Yeah, we're swingers but she's broken my trust and taken it outside the agreed realm.

Anyway, not sure if I'm after advice, acceptance or anything else.

But hopefully able to get back in the saddle myself over the next few weeks.

Broken hearted, devastated, but determined to carry on Fabbers!

Cal x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I am sorry to read about the situation but would question whether the best place to write it is here, on a couple's account which features (presumably) the aforementioned woman in all her glory? If you have split and intend to continue as a single person, I would suggest starting a single profile and have your couples one deleted. She has equal "rights" to the couple's profile as you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s still cheating my friend, she went outside of the boundaries you’d agreed to.

There are no words for how you’re feeling, I’m sorry, stay strong. You’ll be ok

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters


"I am sorry to read about the situation but would question whether the best place to write it is here, on a couple's account which features (presumably) the aforementioned woman in all her glory? If you have split and intend to continue as a single person, I would suggest starting a single profile and have your couples one deleted. She has equal "rights" to the couple's profile as you. "

I was thinking the same thing looking at the couple tag and profile pic…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"I am sorry to read about the situation but would question whether the best place to write it is here, on a couple's account which features (presumably) the aforementioned woman in all her glory? If you have split and intend to continue as a single person, I would suggest starting a single profile and have your couples one deleted. She has equal "rights" to the couple's profile as you. "

Totally agree. Looks like you have deliberately written this on the joint profile to humiliate her which is not a nice thing to do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I am sorry to read about the situation but would question whether the best place to write it is here, on a couple's account which features (presumably) the aforementioned woman in all her glory? If you have split and intend to continue as a single person, I would suggest starting a single profile and have your couples one deleted. She has equal "rights" to the couple's profile as you.

I was thinking the same thing looking at the couple tag and profile pic… "

Our view will more than likely be unpopular, but nonetheless... Infidelity and going outside of agreed boundaries is not acceptable, but here we have a one sided view from a couple's account.

OP, do the right thing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"I am sorry to read about the situation but would question whether the best place to write it is here, on a couple's account which features (presumably) the aforementioned woman in all her glory? If you have split and intend to continue as a single person, I would suggest starting a single profile and have your couples one deleted. She has equal "rights" to the couple's profile as you.

I was thinking the same thing looking at the couple tag and profile pic…

Our view will more than likely be unpopular, but nonetheless... Infidelity and going outside of agreed boundaries is not acceptable, but here we have a one sided view from a couple's account.

OP, do the right thing "

The man most likely found out recently and is still trying to process everything...it's hard to think straight the moment you find out you are being cheated on. I'm not justifying his behavior...even a cheater has the right for privacy.

The right thing to do is for you OP to make a single profile, and talk about it through that account.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No cynical is me, thinking it's a good way to get people to check out your profile...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

You need to log off here and concentrate bon what is important. Have a honest talk with your partner, ask her the reason she cheated, and work out what you want going forwards.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor bloke has been cheated on and the forumites still find something to blame him for

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only you know whether you can forgive and forget, or if (like me) you'll never trust them again.

im sorry you're going through this OP.. just know you aren't alone Px

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Poor bloke has been cheated on and the forumites still find something to blame him for "

I'm afraid you're only allowed to speak to him after he's set up a separate profile and waited the requisite two weeks to post on here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Poor bloke has been cheated on and the forumites still find something to blame him for

I'm afraid you're only allowed to speak to him after he's set up a separate profile and waited the requisite two weeks to post on here "

Without going into if the account is real or not the common theme in the forums is:

Cheating woman = bad man

Cheating man = bad man.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"Poor bloke has been cheated on and the forumites still find something to blame him for

I'm afraid you're only allowed to speak to him after he's set up a separate profile and waited the requisite two weeks to post on here

Without going into if the account is real or not the common theme in the forums is:

Cheating woman = bad man

Cheating man = bad man."

.....so true!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Sorry to hear that. My ad ice would be to e d the relationship. Once trust has gone things will never be the same e between you again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Surely this is no different to a naming and shaming post and should be removed?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is probably a gut reaction to what you've just discovered, but it may make things worse. If you're hurt and angry, you don't want strangers viewing everything you say. Do you have someone who knows about your lifestyle to talk to?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

I'd say 8 years is a lot to throw away! Can you forgive and move on as a couple?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

If this is legit I get that you’re upset…. But posting it on here…. No x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"You need to log off here and concentrate bon what is important. Have a honest talk with your partner, ask her the reason she cheated, and work out what you want going forwards."

This I agree with if it's only happened once your relationship could still be salvaged

Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Im so sorry this has happened

You need to take some time to decide what you want, is this the end, can you forgive her, will you trust her again

Unfortunately cheating can happen even if your swingers I think sometimes the cheating party can try to de cheating as an excuse but it doesn't bother you when XYZ

But as you've said you had boundaries and this has gone beyond them, it wasn't a one off or a d*unken mistake

You need to look after yourself,be that talking it through, some time out to think, whatever us best for you, you are your priority right now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckyNineMan
over a year ago

prescot


"If this is legit I get that you’re upset…. But posting it on here…. No x"

This, posting with your couples profile is v.wrong

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just found out my partner of 8+ years has been cheating on me for several months.

Yeah, we're swingers but she's broken my trust and taken it outside the agreed realm.

Anyway, not sure if I'm after advice, acceptance or anything else.

But hopefully able to get back in the saddle myself over the next few weeks.

Broken hearted, devastated, but determined to carry on Fabbers!

Cal x"

What are you going to do ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Surely this is no different to a naming and shaming post and should be removed?"

Or maybe wanting to share on a swinging site were they may get some advice or words of wisdom. Instead they get their profile torn apart and not much empathy.

I bet it would be different reaction if it was the woman saying it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of curiosity, how many people on here would follow the same course if they received that bad news?

It's possible I have a strange way of doing things, but if I logged in, it would likely be to hide or delete the profile, not share the details.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Out of curiosity, how many people on here would follow the same course if they received that bad news?

It's possible I have a strange way of doing things, but if I logged in, it would likely be to hide or delete the profile, not share the details."

People react to pain in different ways. Logic goes out the window when something like this happens.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely this is no different to a naming and shaming post and should be removed?

Or maybe wanting to share on a swinging site were they may get some advice or words of wisdom. Instead they get their profile torn apart and not much empathy.

I bet it would be different reaction if it was the woman saying it"

Exactly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok a bit of info...discussing a persons profile is not allowed on the forum. If you think a profile needs reporting you should do this from the profile itself rather than outing it on the forum as that is against rules.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP, I don't have any advice for your situation but from the sites point of view, once you have decided what's going to happen in your relationship and if you are going alone.... you will need to remove the female pics and ask Admin from the contact link to change your profile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel your pain but i think its unfair to be posting this on the forum.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Sorry to read this, it happened to a friend of mine. It’s a shitty thing to happen but discussing it on a public forum isn’t going to get you results feel better about it. Maybe you can privately chat with someone?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be a minefield you can sleep with other men.....but you can't sleep with other men......But you can sleep with other men if I know......almost need a written contract to rule out what is cheating and what isnt, I don't know the circumstances but is there a chance that she didn't realise she was breaking what ever rules you had in place

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Must be a minefield you can sleep with other men.....but you can't sleep with other men......But you can sleep with other men if I know......almost need a written contract to rule out what is cheating and what isnt, I don't know the circumstances but is there a chance that she didn't realise she was breaking what ever rules you had in place"

..................................

It's quite straightforward really, seeking the permission of people who might be affected by our behaviour is fairly routine in many aspects of life.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xXgemmaXxXCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Must be a minefield you can sleep with other men.....but you can't sleep with other men......But you can sleep with other men if I know......almost need a written contract to rule out what is cheating and what isnt, I don't know the circumstances but is there a chance that she didn't realise she was breaking what ever rules you had in place"

It’s not a minefield, you have literally said “if I know” in your comment. This is the crux of the matter. My hubby loves seeing me with other men if he’s involved in the process of choosing and meeting. He doesn’t necessarily have to be there the whole time ie he might wait in the hotel room while we’re in the bar but he’s involved. If I was to start contacting men without his knowledge and meeting them for sex still without his knowledge and carry this dishonesty on for months then this would be cheating and I would be very aware that I was cheating

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - thank fuck I’m single!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'm so sorry op ,

It must be hard getting to terms with it all at the minute.

It's not nice to realise your trust has been broken.good luck with whatever decision you come to x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Must be a minefield you can sleep with other men.....but you can't sleep with other men......But you can sleep with other men if I know......almost need a written contract to rule out what is cheating and what isnt, I don't know the circumstances but is there a chance that she didn't realise she was breaking what ever rules you had in place"

It's very simple to understand. Us for example she can play alone but I must know who it is and be involved in the organising process. If she messaged behind my back and met someone without my knowledge that would be cheating and we'd be over immediately.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Must be a minefield you can sleep with other men.....but you can't sleep with other men......But you can sleep with other men if I know......almost need a written contract to rule out what is cheating and what isnt, I don't know the circumstances but is there a chance that she didn't realise she was breaking what ever rules you had in place"

How on earth can you not understand the difference?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"Must be a minefield "

It's really dead simple.

Swinging v cheating.

Swinging = involving others within the agreed boundaries

Cheating = not giving a fuck what your partner thinks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

I've had quite a few ladies in the couples wanting to meet without the partners consent. But that's their issue not mine

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford


"Must be a minefield

It's really dead simple.

Swinging v cheating.

Swinging = involving others within the agreed boundaries

Cheating = not giving a fuck what your partner thinks"

Exactly this, sadly too many fall into the last category

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top