FabSwingers.com forum: How can you tell if someone is single

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Even though its on my profile that I only want single men how can I tell wen I'm chatting to wether they are single or married

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Ask them

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By *tudentForFunMan
over a year ago

Craigavon

Just have to go off trust unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Complete lack of photos or if they do, ones with identifying tattoos etc blurred or covered.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Even though its on my profile that I only want single men how can I tell wen I'm chatting to wether they are single or married "

Its a minefield.

Unfortunately, you'll need a fair level of cynicism on here.

Do just ask straight out, some ppl do say their married.

Once you've chatted to someone on here, and you're talking about meeting, offer to go to their place, see their response.

Sadly, some people on here don't tell the truth, so watch yourself.

Best. Kx

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

I find they get flaky when you start to suggest meeting or a phone call. Red flags!

Had so many married men tell me they are single initially

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By *ovelife8Man
over a year ago

Swindon

Put a meet up for 14th Feb.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cut them in half and count the rings.

Oh no, wait, that’s trees.

You can only ask them and then trust your own judgement in their the believability of their answer

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Hope that they are as honest as me.

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By *C79Man
over a year ago

Caterham

You'll find us alone in a room periodically checking in on an empty inbox.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Just ask and go with your gut instinct x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no garunteed technique to determine truth or lies psychologically though there are common patterns that liars adopt.

For physical evidence take time getting to know the person in question and spend time around them and their friends and you'll find out soon enough. If they don't want you to meet their friends then they are hiding something. If they claim "I don't want my friends to find out" you can remind them that you signed the Ts and Cs when you joined Fab. If they are not happy with that then they are definitely hiding something which would be worth avoiding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find that because I have it written on my profile that I won’t meet married/attached people - it encourages lying.

I’m thinking about deleting that bit and I might get the truth a bit more, I doubt it though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask for a social in public where they live… then enjoy the silence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can't.

you'll just have to wait until his Mrs has plans to travel to the other end of the country, and he'll tap you up with the 'fancy meeting up in a hotel?" bullshit.

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

General rule of thumb for me is that a truly single guy:

can accom and wouldnt insist on a hotel meet

Happily explains his situation up front if he cant and accepts if you say only want to meet guys who can

chats to you over a weekend

chats midweek at a reasonable hour and not very late at night or very early morning

Its not a perfect system but it works for me. Have your own set of rules, lay them out up front and stick to them xx

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

I'm not sure why would people lie about being married though.. surely honesty is the best policy

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales

"General rule of thumb for me is that a truly single guy:

can accom and wouldnt insist on a hotel meet

Happily explains his situation up front if he cant and accepts if you say only want to meet guys who can

chats to you over a weekend

chats midweek at a reasonable hour and not very late at night or very early morning

Its not a perfect system but it works for me. Have your own set of rules, lay them out up front and stick to them xx"

Agree with all this, also check the background of their photos, I do this anyway because I’m nosy but it’s worked for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he's a 'professional' always travelling around on 'business'.. he's married.

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By *arolandnigelMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Carol and i are totally honest,just have to trust people i suppose

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Just casually ask about his current relationship and family and see what he says

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

Ask for a picture of them in their bathroom and check out what's on the bath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure why would people lie about being married though.. surely honesty is the best policy

You would think right?

But then again those here looking to cheat on the person they are suppose to love most are a, not here swinging and b, coming from a place of dishonesty and lying for the start.

If the can lie to their partner then they aren't going to have an issue lying to a stranger on fab if it potentially leads to sex.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"Ask for a social in public where they live… then enjoy the silence

This^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask for a social in public where they live… then enjoy the silence

This^^^"
..

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Things on their profile like can’t accommodate, have to be discreet, no photos, can only meet daytime etc

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

"General rule of thumb for me is that a truly single guy:

can accom and wouldnt insist on a hotel meet

Happily explains his situation up front if he cant and accepts if you say only want to meet guys who can

chats to you over a weekend

chats midweek at a reasonable hour and not very late at night or very early morning

Its not a perfect system but it works for me. Have your own set of rules, lay them out up front and stick to them xx"

By these factors I’m single, I’m obviously not but I do all the above. I guess that’s the difference between married with permission and cheating married men

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

You can't always.

I met someone at his place,after chatting quite some time, and on my way out noticed an airer with women's clothing on.

I asked if he liked cross-dressing and he said no, they're my girlfriends.

I ask now, and hope they tell the truth.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I'm not sure why would people lie about being married though.. surely honesty is the best policy

Honesty doesn't get your cock sucked

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

If you really want to avoid married men don't meet men who can't accommodate, that will help you avoid 99% of them.

And before you all start that isn't saying all men who can't accommodate are married, just that most married men can't.

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By *eniandMikeCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Can tell from a bedroom pics!!! A single guys room is totally different to a couples!! Top tip! X

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By *ittlekinks38Woman
over a year ago

outside belfast x

They can't accommodate...they may only want to pop to yours and never hotel meets...may only want afternoon delights...

Never talk certain times of the day...typically wait til kids and wife in bed and appear to chat!

In photos they may have feminine items in their house even their bed covers could give them away and if their room is tidy or not!

Could be quiet for days and be "super" busy with work!

They contact you first! When they are available...

Sometimes talk too much about the ex wife when indeed their still pretty much married...or better still they are separated but still live in the same house and sleep on separate beds or he looks after her as her carer....

That's a few ideas how'd I'd know! But I stay away! Am speaking from experience too! No one gets hurt but you! Depends what morals you have left if any if you meet married folk! Playing away....my personal opinion!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Hi op

I usually go with my gut instinct.

Not accommodating alone doesn't mean someone's attached. If they also ask for daytime meets ,have no public pics or a random pic like hand/eye and mention discretion a couple of times, i usually think that they're living with someone .

I do always ask if I'm chatting,some are upfront and if I'm ever suspicious I just stop the chat .

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By *elight 99Woman
over a year ago

richmond

They normally go quiet at night disappear weekends

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Just ask and go with your gut instinct x"

This is the only way to know. And if you're guy tells you otherwise than you're probably right. But asking would be my first step.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say on your profile that you are happy to meet married or attached men. Then ask them.

They are much more likely to admit it and then you can avoid them.

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

The same as working out if a woman is really single... Just got to take them at their word and go with how much you trust what they are saying. Only you can judge your own thoughts on someone and how honest you feel they are being.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met a couple of different men on here who I found out afterwards were attached.

I like to think my instincts are spot on and I pay attention to them but in both cases I had no idea! But it did give me some things to look out for. Some of it was definitely my freshly single naivety! I like to think I'm a little bit wiser these days (

)

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

This thread just sums up why I've given up trying to meet on my own through fab.

I appreciate single ladies with a stance against meeting married men who's partners have no idea they are cheating. I get that and agree with it. Neither of us want that in our lives.

However, as a married guy who's wife is very much into him playing solo (and yes, she also meets solo...we are after all swingers) we've both just hit a point where fab feels like the cheats have destroyed it. Just feels like everyone is looking at everyone else on here with suspicion now.

I totally get it because some things really are red flags but reading between the lines it seems like we've hit a point on fab where if you can't jump through numerous hoops on top of meeting x,y or z criteria you've got no chance of getting a meet through fab anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Say on your profile that you are happy to meet married or attached men. Then ask them.

They are much more likely to admit it and then you can avoid them.

I’m going to change mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Say on your profile that you are happy to meet married or attached men. Then ask them.

They are much more likely to admit it and then you can avoid them.

I’m going to change mine

It works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Say on your profile that you are happy to meet married or attached men. Then ask them.

They are much more likely to admit it and then you can avoid them.

Genius!

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Say on your profile that you are happy to meet married or attached men. Then ask them.

They are much more likely to admit it and then you can avoid them.

That’s good! I like that

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

They usually mention they need to be very discreet, hard to arrange a social, only chat certain hours of the day... Like when they're at work or super late at night. Can't accommodate.

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"If he's a 'professional' always travelling around on 'business'.. he's married."

You are totally wrong on this im afraid. I have always travelled with work and widowed for 15 years now

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By *aughty L 69Woman
over a year ago

hull

When they have discretion is a must on their profile, cover any tattoos in their pics and can only meet during the day. Also if they cannot accommodate at all x

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"When they have discretion is a must on their profile, cover any tattoos in their pics and can only meet during the day. Also if they cannot accommodate at all x"

I can understand tattoos tbh. There are lots of couples with tattoos blanked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Complete lack of photos or if they do, ones with identifying tattoos etc blurred or covered. "

My tattoos are covered, well those that are visible day to day, and I'm 100% single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is? "

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse."

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating"

The issue is the cheating and potential hurt and drama it can cause.

We wont meet cheaters, we would potentially meet a married guy but omly if his wife was happy to confirm that it was ok with us directly i.e. webcam, video call.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Why would it matter to you whether they are married or single or separated or divorced; you only want a short-term liaison with an attractive male; you don't want to marry them !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating"

Very true. Also some ladies in here are looking for an emotional 1 on 1 relationship too and they can't have that with a married man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would it matter to you whether they are married or single or separated or divorced; you only want a short-term liaison with an attractive male; you don't want to marry them !"

Some people are looking for meaningful relationships though.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"Why would it matter to you whether they are married or single or separated or divorced; you only want a short-term liaison with an attractive male; you don't want to marry them !"

Her body her choice

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

"Why would it matter to you whether they are married or single or separated or divorced; you only want a short-term liaison with an attractive male; you don't want to marry them !

Some people are looking for meaningful relationships though."

This lady is not; for some unspecified reason she does not wish to meet married serving British army personnel from the Colchester area of Essex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would it matter to you whether they are married or single or separated or divorced; you only want a short-term liaison with an attractive male; you don't want to marry them !"

Tell that to the couple we know who were lied to by a married man, they were told he was single. He wasn't, his wife found his fab account, fab messages and veris. In her pain she went full tilt and blamed the also lied to couple. She had pictures of them and their home address. Let's just say it only ended with the police been involved.

Swinging is about trust and honesty why the fuck would a loving, honest couple want to get dragged into that potential drama?? Why would they potentially want to be part of something that could destroy somebody else?

There's 100 men for every some / couple on Fab and more than enough of them are genuinely single or playing with full permission.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

How can you tell if someone is single?

"Put a meet up for 14th Feb."

No problem if it is at my place or hers but I won't be paying Valentine prices for anywhere else.

Oops. I've inadvertently started the 'How can you spot a tightwad' thread !

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is? "

Do you want to sign your own Fab death warrant? !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would it matter to you whether they are married or single or separated or divorced; you only want a short-term liaison with an attractive male; you don't want to marry them !

Some people are looking for meaningful relationships though.

This lady is not; for some unspecified reason she does not wish to meet married serving British army personnel from the Colchester area of Essex."

And that's her choice. We all need to respect people have their own choices/preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would it matter to you whether they are married or single or separated or divorced; you only want a short-term liaison with an attractive male; you don't want to marry them !

There's 100 men for every some / couple on Fab and more than enough of them are genuinely single or playing with full permission.

KJ"

This is another reason why I would never give people my home address, then drama can't be brought to your own front door.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating

Very true. Also some ladies in here are looking for an emotional 1 on 1 relationship too and they can't have that with a married man. "

Fair point, I assumed non-monogamous relationships came as part of the territory on a swingers site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found married men all ways got to mobiles

Hope that helps

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating

Very true. Also some ladies in here are looking for an emotional 1 on 1 relationship too and they can't have that with a married man.

Fair point, I assumed non-monogamous relationships came as part of the territory on a swingers site "

Non-monogamous is NOT the same as cheating though. I don’t want to share my time, energy and most definitely not my body with a cheater. Plus I don’t need the potential drama that could occur … and has for many.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating

Very true. Also some ladies in here are looking for an emotional 1 on 1 relationship too and they can't have that with a married man.

Fair point, I assumed non-monogamous relationships came as part of the territory on a swingers site

As I said not all married men are cheating I’m married but I’m not a cheater

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is? "

Usually it's the cheating.

I won't meet a married person from a Swinger couple on their own. They tend to discuss their meets.

Fine meeting them together but I don't want the meet discussed by people who weren't there.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating

Very true. Also some ladies in here are looking for an emotional 1 on 1 relationship too and they can't have that with a married man.

Fair point, I assumed non-monogamous relationships came as part of the territory on a swingers site

As I said not all married men are cheating I’m married but I’m not a cheater "

If only the same could be said for the rest. I appreciate that it makes it more difficult for the genuine ones

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating

Very true. Also some ladies in here are looking for an emotional 1 on 1 relationship too and they can't have that with a married man.

Fair point, I assumed non-monogamous relationships came as part of the territory on a swingers site

As I said not all married men are cheating I’m married but I’m not a cheater

If only the same could be said for the rest. I appreciate that it makes it more difficult for the genuine ones

Speaking from experience, on Fab, it makes it impossible for the genuine ones.

The cheats and sheer overwhelming numbers of single guy "wanna bes" (and there's plenty on here) ruined it for genuine people.

Easier for us to meet people at social events rather than use Fab now.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

"Can I ask what the issue with married men is?

A huge amount of people don't want to meet married people who are cheating on their spouse.

Ok I understand that, but not every married man is cheating

Very true. Also some ladies in here are looking for an emotional 1 on 1 relationship too and they can't have that with a married man.

Fair point, I assumed non-monogamous relationships came as part of the territory on a swingers site

As I said not all married men are cheating I’m married but I’m not a cheater

If only the same could be said for the rest. I appreciate that it makes it more difficult for the genuine ones

Speaking from experience, on Fab, it makes it impossible for the genuine ones.

The cheats and sheer overwhelming numbers of single guy "wanna bes" (and there's plenty on here) ruined it for genuine people.

Easier for us to meet people at social events rather than use Fab now.

I have more success on bumble compared to fab.

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By *edsmudgeMan
over a year ago

oxford

"Even though its on my profile that I only want single men how can I tell wen I'm chatting to wether they are single or married

Its a minefield.

Unfortunately, you'll need a fair level of cynicism on here.

Do just ask straight out, some ppl do say their married.

Once you've chatted to someone on here, and you're talking about meeting, offer to go to their place, see their response.

Sadly, some people on here don't tell the truth, so watch yourself.

Best. Kx

‘Sprocket’ why is that name familiar,. Was it the dog from fragile rock?

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By *rNaughtyNickMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm single able to accomdate free on weekends and evenings, happy to give out my number and chat on the phone. Those who are playing away most unlikely to do the above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy a crystal ball

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By *e-funcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"I'm single able to accomdate free on weekends and evenings, happy to give out my number and chat on the phone. Those who are playing away most unlikely to do the above.

Exactly this.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"I'm single able to accomdate free on weekends and evenings, happy to give out my number and chat on the phone. Those who are playing away most unlikely to do the above.

Exactly this. "

We can only accomodate on occasions (which makes it impossible to accomodate as a single for either of us) and we don't really have any desire to give out our phone numbers to anyone on here till we trust them.

So no, it's not a case of "if you don't do these things you must be cheating".

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By *andH 23Man
over a year ago

Luton

Yes exactly that not everyone is a liar but you do have to know how to filter them

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