FabSwingers.com forum: Being used and abused?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.

Just curious and absolutely NO judgement; Ladies (specifically) do any of you enjoy these encounters? You meet at yours/theirs/hotel, have THE dirtiest, roughest fuck and then you're on your merry way. No connection and very unlikely you'd see him again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not with just anyone only trusted partners but I do like a little bit of dom/throat grabbing etc there has to an element of trust and a safety word

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not with just anyone only trusted partners but I do like a little bit of dom/throat grabbing etc there has to an element of trust and a safety word

For me, this is how I'd enter into something like that personally but I feel all the messages I get, there must be some Women who like it

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

I enjoy it with somebody I know and trust but the unsolicited messages detailing how they're going to rough me up are such a turn off. Dude...you have no idea whether I want that, writing that kind of stuff to a stranger is describing ra pe not kinky sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, because you need that trust, and the knowledge that the person will stop if it gets too much.

Being used and abused by a certain person - hell yes.

By a random stranger - fuck no!

And as dark said above, when they send a cringy paragraph on what they are going to do to you, just no!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ladies thank you for your replies. Always appreciated

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

No. Definitely not

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

Exactly as the other ladies have said...

With someone I know and trust... The rougher the better.

With a stranger. Hell no, I need to know they are trustworthy, will respect my safeword etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only Mr NBVN is trusted enough for this with me.

NBVN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't send a message like that but we all like and want different things so im sure some women must like. Never had a message from a woman like that so must be a man thing ?

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By *urvy123babeWoman
over a year ago

cambridge

Only after a couple of meets and I feel like I trust him enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only Mr NBVN is trusted enough for this with me.

NBVN x"

And also its only Mr NBVN that I want to treat me such a way. I occasionally request this of him, and give him my consent to treat me in such a way when he desires it.

NBVN x

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

No, definitely not. Although the majority of men seem to think that's what we want!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, because you need that trust, and the knowledge that the person will stop if it gets too much.

Being used and abused by a certain person - hell yes.

By a random stranger - fuck no!

And as dark said above, when they send a cringy paragraph on what they are going to do to you, just no!"

Exactly this !!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"No, definitely not. Although the majority of men seem to think that's what we want!"

I think it's the message they want to send, not what they think we want to receive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't send a message like that but we all like and want different things so im sure some women must like. Never had a message from a woman like that so must be a man thing ?"

Agreed, doesn’t sit well with me to send any type of message like that at all initially

Had a couple of meets and contacts were we get down and dirty in texts etc. However, only after chatting and understanding each other’s needs

Pete

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By *ubbyHedgehogCouple
over a year ago

colchester

"No, definitely not. Although the majority of men seem to think that's what we want!"

Do they think it’s what we want? Or do they just not care enough to ask? I feel inclined to think it’s the latter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the men that send those messages as an intro would shit themselves if I said yeah alright then..

I like a bit of rough play but with someone I have a connection with xx

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

When I get women or couples contacting me out of the blue asking for rough stuff like this or csncs play I get very nervous!

The trust issue goes both ways, I need to realy know my partners, and get inside their heads before I feel comfortable pushing their limits and boundaries and indulging their darker fantasies.

It just rings all kinds of alarm bells and makes me think they are inexperienced and nieve at best, or have some kind of agenda at worst.....

The really scary ones come from guys trying to arrange csncs fantasy scenarios 'on behalf of their partners. Or who offer you a 'consensual session where she is 'asleep

I do enjoy a bit of kink, fantasy and fettish play, but trust must always be the foundation that everything else is built on

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

My missus in her 20s used to have a kink about this, we had a friend called Tim who would organise a beers and porn evening at his place, some weeks I would take Tara along, she used to love the fact she was the only girl there in a front room full of guys that she didn't know, while they watched porn, as they had a few beers they would get braver touching her ass or tits as she brought them another drink, I would relax back and watch her rather than the video, she had her limits she wasn't there looking to suck cock or be fucked that was made clear at the start, I was the only one who got that treatment, but everything else was allowed, it was amazing watching her passed around, losing items of clothing as she went until naked with a very wet and sensitive cunt from having been groped and fingered to orgasm so many times, she would end up being the live show as she sucked and fucked me infront of them all, I loved watching her used and abused as a build up to fucking her right in front of everyone, I counted 10 orgasms in one particularly long session.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I wouldn't enjoy this at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a couple of ONS where the lady has instigated a rough fucking....encouraging me with "just fucking drill me" ....and " come on ..fucking hurt me"

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By *urvy123babeWoman
over a year ago

cambridge

This is a message I got off a random guy yesterday, never spoken to before. Honestly stuff like this puts me right off and is an instant block

Hey, are you into really rough and filthy sex? Can you handle being cho ked, slapped, having your throat and arse brutally fucked, rimming guys, taking arse to mouth and more? Lets put you to the test and get you earning your orgasms x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a message I got off a random guy yesterday, never spoken to before. Honestly stuff like this puts me right off and is an instant block

I would never speak like that.....just not my style at all

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By *ausageNmashCouple
over a year ago

Andover

I think some people are corrupted by porn sending out the wrong messages

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

Scouse loves it but would never having anything to do with someone who sends that as a first message. You build into that, not start out at that point

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

We instantly block if the first message has any mention of sex, to come out with all that at the start is a massive turn off.

We get very rough and do most of what’s mentioned but it’s all part of our sub/dom roleplay. Even if we found another female into it, we’d take a long time to build up that level of trust with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.

As expected, most women feel its an abhorrent thought, with unsolicited messages from complete strangers.

BUT, what about if a man sends an opening message, saying they would kiss you all over, tease you, nibble you, and when you can't take it any more fuck you with toe curling orgasms ?

Would you think sounds exciting, or would you think omg he sounds so wet and pathetic ?

No judgement, just curious too about the opposite side of the messages.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.

As expected, most women feel its an abhorrent thought, with unsolicited messages from complete strangers.

BUT, what about if a man sends an opening message, saying they would kiss you all over, tease you, nibble you, and when you can't take it any more fuck you with toe curling orgasms ?

Would you think sounds exciting, or would you think omg he sounds so wet and pathetic ?

No judgement, just curious too about the opposite side of the messages. "

I'd find it equally naff

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.

As expected, most women feel its an abhorrent thought, with unsolicited messages from complete strangers.

BUT, what about if a man sends an opening message, saying they would kiss you all over, tease you, nibble you, and when you can't take it any more fuck you with toe curling orgasms ?

Would you think sounds exciting, or would you think omg he sounds so wet and pathetic ?

No judgement, just curious too about the opposite side of the messages. "

I would feel the same as I would with the other message,which is roll my eyes and wonder why a complete stranger would think I would want him to do that with me when I know nothing about him. Both are equally a turn off in an opening message and I wouldn't think one is more sad and pathetic than the other. I'd also presuame it's a generic message he sends to anyone when he is horny,and he is incapable of actually talking to a woman on here as he sees them as any holes a goal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people are corrupted by porn sending out the wrong messages"

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love being dommed but by trusted partners, I've met enough abusers (relationships and mareaige) that I will never be abused again. These people are watching Fifty Shades of Grey and 365 days thinking its kink but they are totally wrong.

I just totally ignore them, delete their messages and of they message again they are blocked.

This is a swingers site which some forget.

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By *ewiscypherMan
over a year ago

St Austell

"This is a message I got off a random guy yesterday, never spoken to before. Honestly stuff like this puts me right off and is an instant block

Charming! Would he introduce himself in a bar like that....? The mind boggles

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By *hgoonthenMan
over a year ago

Smallwood

I don’t get why a guy would send that type of message without knowing how it was going to be received.

I love it rough and can be very Dom when required, but, no way could I or would I be like that without there being many conversations about it beforehand.

Limits are essential and everyone’s idea of sub/Dom are different.

A lot of people forget that it’s also the sub who is always in control given that it’s the sub who sets the limits etc

People annoy me grrrr

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By *uteinasuitMan
over a year ago

Herts

"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.

"
can be fun if consenting obviously

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.

As expected, most women feel its an abhorrent thought, with unsolicited messages from complete strangers.

BUT, what about if a man sends an opening message, saying they would kiss you all over, tease you, nibble you, and when you can't take it any more fuck you with toe curling orgasms ?

Would you think sounds exciting, or would you think omg he sounds so wet and pathetic ?

No judgement, just curious too about the opposite side of the messages. "

I don't want explicit opening messages, but the person discussing my pleasure is more appealling than the dim dom

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By *inksAPlentyCouple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

"This is a message I got off a random guy yesterday, never spoken to before. Honestly stuff like this puts me right off and is an instant block

Not just off-putting but could also be triggering to some people.

On my single profile I received a really long, graphic message of what this guy would do to me. I had to stop reading... You have no idea of the previous experiences of the person you are messaging, you have no idea what they like or dislike. Why go with that as an opening message?

Ms x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kind of enjoy that kind of play but I’d never want to do it with a woman I’d just met. Too easy to cross a line inadvertently because everyone has different boundaries. Prefer to know somebody first.

Also I’d never send a message like that unless somebody was asking me about it.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Right guy, yes. But anyone, anywhere, no.

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By *aughty2yorksCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"I kind of enjoy that kind of play but I’d never want to do it with a woman I’d just met. Too easy to cross a line inadvertently because everyone has different boundaries. Prefer to know somebody first.

Also I’d never send a message like that unless somebody was asking me about it. "

That’s pretty much how I feel, if I get this kinda message as the opener it’s probably getting ignored, but after trust and boundaries are set it’s fine as I enjoy that kind of thing x

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Anonymous instant nsa sex with a stranger is great, but definitely not rough or dominating.

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

"No, definitely not. Although the majority of men seem to think that's what we want!

Do they think it’s what we want? Or do they just not care enough to ask? I feel inclined to think it’s the latter. "

Definitely not for me too and agree with the above in that it's just about what they want rather than us

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By *fter dinner delightCouple
over a year ago

bury st edmunds/london

We both have enjoyed this there has been times when we do ok a hotel and Ben will arrange for a chap to come up to room when I’m in there alone and I don’t know what the fuck he is going to do all I know that Ben has talked it through with the chap of woman to find out what’s going to happen.

I trust Ben but I know he loves kinky shit so I just take what I get knowing he has agreed to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy being used and abused, the problem is finding men that willing and know how to.

I have gotten increasingly bored with trying to find someone that understand what it is that I am looking for.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

[Removed by poster at 31/03/22 11:08:42]

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I actually detest the term used and abused - a certain someone with a dominating quality and a mindset that allows him to administer it in such effortless fashion that I submit without realising then hell yes I enjoy that

A meaningless fuck with no connection, or conversation is a no from me - I find the best experiences are with those who want to take the time to get to know me and my body, what makes me tick and what stimulates my mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xx"

100% with Dancer on this!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Stamford

So nobody fancies a quick fuck then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100% with Dancer on this!"

Yep me too

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"I enjoy it with somebody I know and trust but the unsolicited messages detailing how they're going to rough me up are such a turn off. Dude...you have no idea whether I want that, writing that kind of stuff to a stranger is describing ra pe not kinky sex."

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naaaaa id be bored to shit and feel short changed

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"When I get women or couples contacting me out of the blue asking for rough stuff like this or csncs play I get very nervous!

The trust issue goes both ways, I need to realy know my partners, and get inside their heads before I feel comfortable pushing their limits and boundaries and indulging their darker fantasies.

It just rings all kinds of alarm bells and makes me think they are inexperienced and nieve at best, or have some kind of agenda at worst.....

The really scary ones come from guys trying to arrange csncs fantasy scenarios 'on behalf of their partners. Or who offer you a 'consensual session where she is 'asleep

I do enjoy a bit of kink, fantasy and fettish play, but trust must always be the foundation that everything else is built on

Spot on

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Mr here.. How on earth do guy's think that'll work??? As Dick pic's..

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"I think some people are corrupted by porn sending out the wrong messages"

Very true. Porn has a lot to answer for. To many pretend doms around these days.

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By *nfinitylandMan
over a year ago

coalville

I do find it hard to get in the mood with a complete stranger, especially if it's going to be a rough impact play session. I need trust on both sides. I'm a worrier though and always think im going to take it too far haha.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I do find it hard to get in the mood with a complete stranger, especially if it's going to be a rough impact play session. I need trust on both sides. I'm a worrier though and always think im going to take it too far haha. "

That's a worrying thing to read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often get asked “ why all the questions “ but if your planning on having rough or Kinky sex I want to know as much as possible about a lady especially her boundaries, likes and dislikes

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By *nfinitylandMan
over a year ago

coalville

That's a worrying thing to read "

Why? I wouldn't be rough with someone who doesn't enjoy it. And like I said I have to know them well if I'm going to be rough. Nothing to worry about lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many people get the D/s side mixed up with abuse and sadism. These are very, very different things!

We see things happen in clubs and at parties in the name of D/s that are anything but.

A true D/s relationship takes time and trust to build. It's not something you can do over a quick drink and an abusive fuck!

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"So many people get the D/s side mixed up with abuse and sadism. These are very, very different things!

We see things happen in clubs and at parties in the name of D/s that are anything but.

A true D/s relationship takes time and trust to build. It's not something you can do over a quick drink and an abusive fuck!"

Spot on. Lot of abusing guys pretending to be doms so they can hurt women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many people get the D/s side mixed up with abuse and sadism. These are very, very different things!

We see things happen in clubs and at parties in the name of D/s that are anything but.

A true D/s relationship takes time and trust to build. It's not something you can do over a quick drink and an abusive fuck!"

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By *oe WestMan
over a year ago

Wigan

It's better to stay Safe than Sorry, especially if you don't know the person who you are meeting.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Have done this one and it was truly incredible with a very experienced Dom. But I prefer meets with a connection and a friendship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like it, its fun! along as you both want the same thing!

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Respect and trust are earned, not given.

I'm greatful that wannabe "doms" are stupid enough to show their true colours before I decide to engage with them.

To answer OP.

Absolutely no way in hell would I meet anyone who opens a conversation with anything related to bdsm.

Missus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it so hard to find a gentleman out of the bedroom but one that will use and abuse me in the bedroom. It's what I am so desperately looking for.

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