FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Sub or Dom?

Jump to newest
 

By *vana sukalot OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a land of make believe (Derby)

Which do you prefer?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was my masters slave and loved it. But now I am neither.

Cali

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

both !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ypnoprincessCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

I love both, so couldn't pick just one

Sj

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depending on my mood, I can play comfortably in either role, but it was only fairly recently that I began to explore my sub side.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't be both. I was submissive but I don't think it's something that is transferable to another. So that's why I say neither.

As I can't be dominant to a man. Well not seriously.

And I can't submit to another.

Cali

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am sub and I would love to find a dominant woman to join J in using me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

both Switch

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the fem has a dildo in her hand and its about to go in my ass then il be sub

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Both; I am 50-50 dom-sub, depends on who I am with and what we decide.

I was dom for years till a very sexy younger lady 'outed' my sub side and I have not looked back since.

My only problem is I will never be a pain slut, my pain threshold has been compared to that of a hamster.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Female sub and Dom male here. Female does on occasion switch with women.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

My only problem is I will never be a pain slut, my pain threshold has been compared to that of a hamster."

Oh I know this well and it causes no end of amusement with our friends!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexually sub fem here.

Could never switch in a million zillion years.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *vana sukalot OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a land of make believe (Derby)

I like to have control over a situation but I don't mind being told what to do, so I'm a bit of both

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a switcher so both with different guys or depending on my mood

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DOM

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornyGCCouple
over a year ago

Slaithwaite

We both switch between the two and like women who can do the same. If single guys we prefer them to be sub. If a couple whatever you like let's just play god damn it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Externally as a couple we never give the game away but privately I'm sub to Cheryl's Domme

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always sub love to please x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

theres only one way for me and the name says it all same as with Sir he cant switch so it works perfectly for us. I tried it once and just giggled nervously and then looked all pathetic as i couldnt go through with anything

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

In my line of work I have to be in control so it is nice to relinquish it in the bedroom. It's my stress-relief. However, it is not a lifestyle for me. I have dommed a few guys but don't think I am that good at it and don't get that much out of it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sub, the only way for me. Had some fantastic experiences and one or two red arse cheeks too! Heaven

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Neither....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Which do you prefer?

"
I can be both, lady's choice...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Which do you prefer?

"
Are we talking roleplay, or living the lifestyle of?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Playing at for me, real life is far too boring and normal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Roleplay? I'm sub! Bedroom only!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Which do you prefer?

"
sub first Dom second

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

[Removed by poster at 23/10/12 23:35:58]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Submissive female and Dominant male here. Couldn't be anything else if we tried. Though we do tend to hide it well when swinging unless we know that our play partners understand fully. We have found that a lot don't and it can lead to confusion. Would love to add another submissive female to the mix the hunt continues

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *porty.benMan
over a year ago

West Hampstead

DO you think it's true that, once you've expeienced being either a sub or dom, you can't stay away. Like is it hard not to try many times again, and will it become a proper lifestyle if I do try it and like it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"DO you think it's true that, once you've expeienced being either a sub or dom, you can't stay away. Like is it hard not to try many times again, and will it become a proper lifestyle if I do try it and like it?"

As with all things depends on what you want.

Whilst I couldn't be submissive if my life depended on it, I couldn't be Domme 24/7. Blimey, I'm not adverse to being "girlie" to get what I want...outside the bedroom: those gutters won't clean themselves!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the moment I really want to play sub and be truly dom'd as not experienced it yet and then I'd want to look at the Dom side

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely 100% Dom

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Always sub, I feel daft trying to dOm and just end up laughing, besides I enjoy being spanked far to much lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me that question is more complicated than it sounds.

When it comes to sex, the majority of my experiences have not involved power exchange of any sort.

Dominance, to me, is mainly about being served and not usually about sex. I won't normally have sex with subs. They may be required to serve me orally, and they may get rewards in various ways, but they won't usually get to penetrate me, or receive oral from me.

I've only recently tried Dominance as bedroom play. It's fun but it doesn't come as naturally to me as 'lifestyle' Domination. It takes the right sort of person for me to want to roleplay sexual Domination with them, (and it needs more than just attraction). I don't have to be attracted to a sub at all for lifestyle Domination.

I can also Top, with people who want, for example, anal play but without the control aspect. That requires sexual attraction too.

I never sub. I've tried it but I just don't have it in me to do it. My natural instinct, if told to do something, even if it's something I want to do, is to resist, or do the opposite.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Altho sub in the bedroom that doesn't transfer to life in general.

For many reasons in my life I've had to take control and tend to know what I want and need and I think thats the reason why, in the bedroom, I love being sub, told what to do, it's a relief to relinquish that control. In saying that I am sub to J and no one else. When we play then I want to please the guys/girls we meet but ultimately the control aspect comes from J not anyone else xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I couldn't be both. I was submissive but I don't think it's something that is transferable to another. So that's why I say neither.

As I can't be dominant to a man. Well not seriously.

And I can't submit to another.

Cali"
you will get over it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dominant her bdsm wise, have a quite wicked sadistic streak that I love exploring

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both

Different people, different situations bring different sides of the sexual me out.

I wouldn't say I was dominant as such but I am more than willing to take the more pro-active role than I am the submissive one.

Most of the time !

Then a small part of me is very submissive though I have to be honest and say it is only a man that brings that out in me - and a very particular sort of man at that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Which do you prefer?

"

cant stand subway sandwiches so i prefer dominos pizza ---

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh now i understand the question lol hehehhee

I am Bi and have two seperate perspectives

1. as a bi man once i turned on i dont mind being dominated - but no pain

2. as a MF mix i like to be passionate; but quiet happy to be the dominant one

However in general; i think i just go with the flow and see what ticks all boxes for those involved

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes"

Ahhhhhhhhhhh !

I have this theory that some subs actually have more power than the dom could ever have !

I also find that some subs can be more agressive in getting what they want than the dom is.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" oh now i understand the question lol hehehhee

I am Bi and have two seperate perspectives

1. as a bi man once i turned on i dont mind being dominated - but no pain

2. as a MF mix i like to be passionate; but quiet happy to be the dominant one

However in general; i think i just go with the flow and see what ticks all boxes for those involved "

same as above really

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes"

No you don't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes

Ahhhhhhhhhhh !

I have this theory that some subs actually have more power than the dom could ever have !

I also find that some subs can be more agressive in getting what they want than the dom is."

Subs/bottoms set the limits, yes. It depends how you play really. Either party has the right to say no, or halt proceedings, which is the ultimate power.

Subs can be very pushy but I've found more that are manipulative than are aggressive, personally.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes"

I totally disagree. If someone can sub then they would never be dominant enough for me. I also think that if the sub is allowed to have to much control it can affect the power balance. Bit like with kids.

I always knew I had no control and no power. Yes I could say no or end it but it meant the end of the relationship.

Cali

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes

Ahhhhhhhhhhh !

I have this theory that some subs actually have more power than the dom could ever have !

I also find that some subs can be more agressive in getting what they want than the dom is.

Subs/bottoms set the limits, yes. It depends how you play really. Either party has the right to say no, or halt proceedings, which is the ultimate power.

Subs can be very pushy but I've found more that are manipulative than are aggressive, personally."

I agree - manipulative and pushy are much better descriptions

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love both!!! Love dominating a women, teasing them and making them my bitch!

But also really enjoy been sub with a couple and being there play thing making me do what they want

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not into either really, I like sexually assertive men but not Dom ones

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes"

Maybe a Top could do that but a naturally Dominant man just cannot do that with any sort of conviction. It would defy every instinct he has.

Also there are lots of different ways that a Dominant man can assert himself, he has control that's partly what makes him a Dominant. That does not mean he has to be whipping a partner or causing pain or being insulting to enjoy himself. A man who is a good Dominant will be able to dial that Dominance up and down depending on who he is with. That can simply come across as assertive. To the cuffs and cane stereo type. Which is exactly why up to this point we haven't mixed swinging with D/s outside our relationship because most don't understand it properly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes

Maybe a Top could do that but a naturally Dominant man just cannot do that with any sort of conviction. It would defy every instinct he has.

Also there are lots of different ways that a Dominant man can assert himself, he has control that's partly what makes him a Dominant. That does not mean he has to be whipping a partner or causing pain or being insulting to enjoy himself. A man who is a good Dominant will be able to dial that Dominance up and down depending on who he is with. That can simply come across as assertive. To the cuffs and cane stereo type. Which is exactly why up to this point we haven't mixed swinging with D/s outside our relationship because most don't understand it properly. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amBiUKMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

I like to be sub

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough


" Which is exactly why up to this point we haven't mixed swinging with D/s outside our relationship because most don't understand it properly.

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ayman2002Man
over a year ago

Peterborough

I prefer a partner who's responsive to my naturally assertive nature but that doesn't make dom as such.

...that only comes if you ask nicely!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes

Maybe a Top could do that but a naturally Dominant man just cannot do that with any sort of conviction. It would defy every instinct he has.

Also there are lots of different ways that a Dominant man can assert himself, he has control that's partly what makes him a Dominant. That does not mean he has to be whipping a partner or causing pain or being insulting to enjoy himself. A man who is a good Dominant will be able to dial that Dominance up and down depending on who he is with. That can simply come across as assertive. To the cuffs and cane stereo type. Which is exactly why up to this point we haven't mixed swinging with D/s outside our relationship because most don't understand it properly. "
I totally agree!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a mixture but I do like to be in control more often than not so it has to be submissive men.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be a better Dom you have to be Sub sometimes

Maybe a Top could do that but a naturally Dominant man just cannot do that with any sort of conviction. It would defy every instinct he has.

Also there are lots of different ways that a Dominant man can assert himself, he has control that's partly what makes him a Dominant. That does not mean he has to be whipping a partner or causing pain or being insulting to enjoy himself. A man who is a good Dominant will be able to dial that Dominance up and down depending on who he is with. That can simply come across as assertive. To the cuffs and cane stereo type. Which is exactly why up to this point we haven't mixed swinging with D/s outside our relationship because most don't understand it properly. I totally agree!!! "

I would agree if he didn't just mention Dominant men. The same goes for Dominant women.

Other than that I agree totally.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago

Midlothian

completely submissive slave in role

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top