FabSwingers.com forum: Modern women 2022

By *alum 62 OP Man
over a year ago

Dunstable

Where are you on these sites How many of you make the first contact with a guy ? Try to chat him up Say you want to be equals with men Then prove it start doing the chasing I wonder lol x

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I wouldn’t chase anyone never mind someone from fab. But I Have messaged people first

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By *aughty L 69Woman
over a year ago

hull

I wouldn't chase anyone but I have messaged guys first. One guy was surprised and said its refreshing that the woman makes the first move x

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By *alum 62 OP Man
over a year ago

Dunstable

Only one guy makes my point

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"Where are you on these sites How many of you make the first contact with a guy ? Try to chat him up Say you want to be equals with men Then prove it start doing the chasing I wonder lol x"

Why should they do the chasing on here when they quite simply don’t have to?

And there’s nothing “modern” about wanting to be treated equally with men… but a lot of men appear to be very “old fashioned” in their views

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Why does it have to be a chase or a hunt? What happened to good old fashioned conversations and see where they lead?

Women do message first. Every conversation I've had in 2 years has been from women messaging first because I don't send messages.

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By *empest2KMan
over a year ago

Derby

"Why does it have to be a chase or a hunt? What happened to good old fashioned conversations and see where they lead?

Women do message first. Every conversation I've had in 2 years has been from women messaging first because I don't send messages. "

Please can you PM me your secret!

I'm lucky if I get a reply after reading a person's profile extensively and sending a carefully crafted message, so I've no idea how to get a message from someone without initiating it first.

The only messages I've received first have been from potential fakes with ‘hey how r u’ that has little effort and thought put into it. I mean, come on... throw me a frickin' bone here!

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

I don’t like to message first because i feel I’m not to everyone’s taste so it’s best if they message me first

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By *ar0001Man
over a year ago

Bray, Wicklow

Really really really wish women were more forward

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Really really really wish women were more forward"

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i do message first yeah, but its usually off a forum thread, and it could be to a man/woman/couple, im not shy and im a chatterbox lol!

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"i do message first yeah, but its usually off a forum thread, and it could be to a man/woman/couple, im not shy and im a chatterbox lol!"

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Flik messages guys on here if they are of interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Flik messages guys on here if they are of interest."

I wouldn’t be averse to being messaged by Flik !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Since time immemorial women have had ways and means if making the first move.

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

"Really really really wish women were more forward

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun."

Well this is a bit untrue as I meet but rarely ever approach first.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Really really really wish women were more forward

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun.

Well this is a bit untrue as I meet but rarely ever approach first. "

From your experience.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Message first and approach in clubs and ask to play a lot of the time.

Absolutely fine with it and do it often

Fine with asking for what I want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hang on, so until we make the move first we can't be equal with men? Who would ever have expected a man to decide when women are "modern" and have equality.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Hang on, so until we make the move first we can't be equal with men? Who would ever have expected a man to decide when women are "modern" and have equality.

Depends on you own perception, “modern” seems such on old fashioned word in a modern society.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/22 00:10:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often message men first, and I’ve had men read delete without replying. Can you imagine?

I don’t see any reason to play a game of cat and mouse if I like the look of someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been messaged by women before. It never crossed my mind whether they were being ‘modern’, what crossed my mind was ‘bloody hell I’ve received a message (and it’s not from a ‘single’ guy wanting to suck my cock despite my profile stating that I’m straight)’.

OP, women do message first when they want to. Equality and being modern has nothing to do with it. It’ll depend on the woman and whether she wants to and that will be influenced by your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have messaged first on many occasions if I like the look of someone. What's the worse ? They say no or don't reply

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hang on, so until we make the move first we can't be equal with men? Who would ever have expected a man to decide when women are "modern" and have equality.

Depends on you own perception, “modern” seems such on old fashioned word in a modern society."

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"Really really really wish women were more forward

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun.

Well this is a bit untrue as I meet but rarely ever approach first. "

I do get that but knowing that you get a lot of mail and you are very particular in what you seek surely a more productive approach for you would be to only approach the ones that meet your criteria?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because no woman has messaged you first doesn’t mean they don’t do it and I’m sure if someone fancies you enough they will.

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By *alum 62 OP Man
over a year ago

Dunstable

My plan did not work no messages surprised NOT lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have definitely messaged first. Why wouldn’t I ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some women do message if they are interested

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By *a_fun_30_coupleCouple
over a year ago

Durham

We’ve been messaged first by women and by the female half of couples quite a few times. Equally we have messaged first. We’ve never felt like anyone was “doing the chasing”, just chatting and seeing where it went.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just because no woman has messaged you first doesn’t mean they don’t do it and I’m sure if someone fancies you enough they will. "

this

im not a modern woman im just a woman with my own views i dont need men to put me in a pigion hole ... if i see something i like i will message as for chasing erm no chance im not desperate.

but in truth we get so many messages that we dont have to look often

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Due to being bombarded by messages on my single profile I often blocked single guys but messaged anyone that interested me.

They can only say no. None ever did though!

Ginge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just think there are alot of men out there who want their woman needy and weak ..... i wonder why ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My plan did not work no messages surprised NOT lol"

Yeah it must be because women aren't modern enough

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"My plan did not work no messages surprised NOT lol

Yeah it must be because women aren't modern enough

You're ultra modern. You talk to me and tie me up Bertie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I like the look of someone I’ll definitely message first

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"If I like the look of someone I’ll definitely message first

Glance if you wish.....

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By *intiemintieWoman
over a year ago

Scottish Borders

Im on a meet break but still enjoy chatting and getting to know people so long as they fit my preferences. Im perfectly comfortable with initiating chat. Less enamoured with straight to dick pic responses though....

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Im on a meet break but still enjoy chatting and getting to know people so long as they fit my preferences. Im perfectly comfortable with initiating chat. Less enamoured with straight to dick pic responses though....

Ah....you're a lovely looking lady of the borders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't message off the thread please

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've messaged first I have no issue with messaging someone first. But I don't and never will chase anyone on here or in real life. I message if I like a profile usually or maybe something they said on the forums if they answer and we chat then great if they don't then that's fine too .It doesn't make me a modern woman or anything else it just means I have no issue messaging someone first .

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By *MCMan
over a year ago

London/EA

Some people get obsessed on here.. it’s madness!

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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago

Z'ha'dum

I often get messaged first, but very seldom a 2nd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies don't need to do the chasing as for the women it is a buyer's market. If it helps this kind of message won't help your chances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people get obsessed on here.. it’s madness!"

Not sure what you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

keep it here giys not my pm ...ill only block you

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By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

Never made first contact!

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By *pertureTV/TS
over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies

I have been messaged by women asking if i would like to meet their hubby, at least thats what hey told me though they usualy turn out to be single guys

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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago

Z'ha'dum

"Never made first contact!

Well you don't wanna break the prime directive.

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By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

I wouldn’t chase anyone.

I never messaged anyone first but that’s from my lack of confidence, not because I’m not equal to men.

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By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

"Don't message off the thread please "

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just think there are alot of men out there who want their woman needy and weak ..... i wonder why ??? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really really really wish women were more forward

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never made first contact!

Well you don't wanna break the prime directive.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"just think there are alot of men out there who want their woman needy and weak ..... i wonder why ??? "

In your opinion maybe!! I certainly don’t, I find strong go getting women hugely attractive as I imagine many men do.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

I never send a first message, but i join in forum chats and that leads to conversations, which often lead to meets, if it suits us both.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I message guys first when I want to.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Really really really wish women were more forward

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun.

Well this is a bit untrue as I meet but rarely ever approach first.

I do get that but knowing that you get a lot of mail and you are very particular in what you seek surely a more productive approach for you would be to only approach the ones that meet your criteria? "

That would only work if all the men had face pics and actually made an effort with their profiles.

This is where they let themselves down.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Really really really wish women were more forward

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun.

Well this is a bit untrue as I meet but rarely ever approach first.

I do get that but knowing that you get a lot of mail and you are very particular in what you seek surely a more productive approach for you would be to only approach the ones that meet your criteria?

That would only work if all the men had face pics and actually made an effort with their profiles.

This is where they let themselves down."

Yes. Modern women get to choose, it's not just "you chase now".

Sometimes if the pickings are slim, I choose a good book rather than a man.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"Really really really wish women were more forward

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun.

Well this is a bit untrue as I meet but rarely ever approach first.

I do get that but knowing that you get a lot of mail and you are very particular in what you seek surely a more productive approach for you would be to only approach the ones that meet your criteria?

That would only work if all the men had face pics and actually made an effort with their profiles.

This is where they let themselves down."

Thanks but that wasn’t aimed at you

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By *assie101Woman
over a year ago

Kent

It's all been said really. My profile is pretty much closed shop so I have to make the first move if I want to talk to anyone really do they have to catch my eye.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"Really really really wish women were more forward

They do, the ones that have real interest in having fun.

Well this is a bit untrue as I meet but rarely ever approach first.

I do get that but knowing that you get a lot of mail and you are very particular in what you seek surely a more productive approach for you would be to only approach the ones that meet your criteria?

That would only work if all the men had face pics and actually made an effort with their profiles.

This is where they let themselves down."

Being objective here, the majority of blokes blokes can't win no matter what they do. Im.completely serious about fun but Fab just isn't what it once was.

I have had face pics on my single profile for 10 years. I have no dic pics, I think it's well worded and I clearly state I'm married (both my wife and I play separately). Now I'm no Brad Pitt but I don't think I'm a bulldog licking piss of a nettle ugly either.

Never once have i been messaged by a lady on Fab on that profile. Infact I have never once even had a meet because of that profile.

Yes, I have had solo meets but they've come from social events and never Fab directly. Maybe that's because meeting my wife and hearing its all good from her is what's needed?

I also get that some women will be wary because I'm married. Some.just won't flat out entertain married guys at all which is fine.

Regurdless, in 10 years, that profile has had very few views and has done little for me. If i was individual on the scene, id have given up years ago. I really just maintain it out of habit now.

So this is kinda where Fab is at.

Women can be spammed with hundreds

of messages each day and that's a lot of noise for guys to get through. Odds are, most won't. If they sit back and wait, again, odds are, nothing will happen for the majority.

Two 3rds or more of the site is single guy accounts now.

So for the most part, my wife an I post for.couples meets on here and leave all the single stuff to socials and clubs now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I message guys first when I want to."

Has a man ever got through those filters?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I message guys first when I want to.

Has a man ever got through those filters? "

Occasionally

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

As I already said, all my conversations are initiated by the women who contact me.

I'm not claiming to be inundated with messages or offers because I'm not.

I average 1 message a month. Sometimes I might get 2 and sometimes I don't get any.

That suits me but not everyone is that patient. Some might think sitting back shows a lack of effort on my part but I would disagree. I've already made an effort with my profile and forum posts and it's a combination of those that make me approachable and women feel comfortable getting in touch even if it's just to say hello.

The vast majority of those conversations will never lead to anything due to location and some will never lead to anything because they can't maintain a mutual conversation but if you want or expect women to make first contact you have to do the groundwork first.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Most of my meets with men have been men I messaged first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where are you on these sites How many of you make the first contact with a guy ? Try to chat him up Say you want to be equals with men Then prove it start doing the chasing I wonder lol x"

I never chase men but when I am looking for one I do go through the profiles meticulously to choose a few to contact.

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By *aughty2yorksCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

In person in clubs I’m more comfortable approaching guys, but on fab I never know what to say so rarely message first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hang on, so until we make the move first we can't be equal with men? Who would ever have expected a man to decide when women are "modern" and have equality.

I find most men are very surprised the stretch they have to perform to be equal to women, let alone superior

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